February 12, 2024 • 41 mins
Hey Lifers,
Guess who is back on Aus soil?!
We're all back in the same room, close enough to touch each other and link toes...
Britt had a pretty shit time at the very end of her stay in Scotland but maybe not as bad as Barnaby Joyce.
We chat about Britt's incredibly uncomfortable massage, Laura's secret addiction, and her deep need for an HR department!
Plus, we chat about the 'enhanced games' which is the Olympics on steroids, quite literally!
We weigh up the pros and cons of health, fairness, privilege and entertainment.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
past and present.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
recorded on the rug Wallamuta Land.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and I'm in studio in
the flesh. We're back together again. I was gonna sing
a song, but I couldn't come out with them.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
What have we got? We are? We just.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I don't know what they're the lyrics, but we are
two together.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Here we are.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I'm sorry if you knew and we've lost you. That's
not usually how this goes down. I've been overseas for
a couple of months. We've been doing some long distance recordings,
and I'm back in the flesh, my feet on Australian's soil.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And my feeder on brit me and everything is back
to the way that it should be in the life
of the world.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
In the life of the world, I purposely, I don't
know if you noticed, but I sat our seats a
little bit further away so that those claw of your
feet cannot touch me because you always reach out with
your little chlory many toes.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Mind you No, no, please don't.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Can I just say firstly, I hope everybody had a
great weekend. I hope everybody has had a wonderful week
I hope everybody's enjoying themselves more than Barnaby Joyce at
the moment, because I think that, I.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Mean, Barnaby Joyce had a great weekend. His loving life.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
This.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
If you haven't seen it, I'm sure you have. Barnaby
Joyce was found in Canberra. He was videoed by someone
just laying he'd fallen off a garden bed very late
at night, on the phone to his wife and then
was just laying in the street. One would assume he
maybe had had a few wines, but you know what,
it hasn't been confirmed, so it's all just accusations at
the moment.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But why what is he doing with his life? I
just think it's funny that this has gone viral. Like
the guy gone out for afterwork drinks is in Parliament.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
It was a rough day.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
He put some bills through, he needed it be no,
he decided to have a lay down, kick his legs up.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, it was on the pavement in public, that's fine.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
No.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Britta and I were talking about this last night and
she was like, I don't know why people get so
up in arms about politicians.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Because they're running the country. This is the best that
we've got. Do you think he was on the phone
at that point? Who do you think he was on
the phone to Joe Biden? Do you think he's making
presidential decisions right now?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
And no, he's not. He's just probably having phone sex
with his wife in the street. Yeah, let him live deplorable.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
And I'm not saying this because look, I do want
to make it like on record, Barnaby Joyce and I
are not close. I am not tight with him. I'm
not protecting him for that reason. I'm actually not protecting him.
I just think it's funny that this is making the
news and like people are like.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Just let the guy have a drink.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
If he was getting wasted in parliament, it's different if
he's doing his parliamentary debate with his feet up on
the ground wasted.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
It's a difference, you No, no, no.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I think it's the fact that he hasn't a to
drinking because we don't know, right, like there's been no
conversation about drinking. He just said that he fell off
the planter box onto his side, and then he just
laid there on the phone with his feet up for
a while, which one would think that would be an
unusual decision to make if you weren't under the influence neither.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Haven't you ever fallen over or something? I just laid
there and just been it's too hard to get up.
I'm gonna hang you for a while, you know how,
Like you drive home in the car sometimes and you're
really tired, and all you want to do is be
in bed, like to say, it's nighttime, but you're so
tired that you don't even want to get out of
the car, and sometimes you sit in the car for
like two hours. That's what old Barnaby was doing.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
No, it reminds me of being like eighteen, and you know,
when you were really drunk, but you try and convince
your friends that you weren't and then they're like, babe,
you're passed out in a flower bed and you're like, oh, yeah,
I guess I guess maybe I did push it a
little bit too far last night.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
That was Barnaby Joyce on the weekend, Do you okay?
Prayers for Barnaby Joyce.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I remember, I don't know your friends did this.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I remember in my teenage years when all of my
friends and I would sneak out to party.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
You know, you're in that era, like I'm saying, Sally's
house and Sally Santa Betty's house and Betty Santa Britey's house,
and you go to a beach party or something, right.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I remember the boys and like this big group of
friends because we had these huge group of friends of
boys and girls were at this party house party, and
we were too young to be drinking, and we're too
young to know what being drunk was yet, you know,
when it's you're just starting out.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
But it was cool to be drunk.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
So the boys tricked one of my friends into They
filled like this bottle of vodka or something with basically water,
and they had like the tinest bit in it, and
she had been drinking.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
All night and she was progressively getting drunk up but
there was nothing in there. They faked it, and I
just thought that was up because she was wasted. She
was in the planet of boxing with the end of
the night, but she was faking it. Because she only
had water.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I get what you're saying by this. You're saying, Barnaby
Joyce just did it for Instagram life.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
He wanted to make the meeting. It was all fake.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
He actually wasn't drunk, and he was like, how am
I gonna make it back to the top of Daily Mail.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I haven't been controversial for a while, you know what
little's gone on for the last little bit. I will
lay down here.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
But I do question, when do you think is the
point where Barnaby Joyce, he like goes past the point
of being controversial, where it's no longer it's like you
just expect it, because you would think, like imagine if
Penny Wong, for example, was laying it a plant box,
you would be a little bit more like, oh my god,
what's happened?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
This is crazy? But Barnaby Joyce does it? We all laugh.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
No, Penny Wong does it. She'd be celebrated. People like, yes,
queen a night off because working hard. Because it's not
exactly the headline to be completely different. It's because no,
as if if she went and had a night out
and she was people.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Would think she was deranged. They'd think she'd lost the plot. Guys,
They're still humans.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Politicians are still human beings. I know that that might
shock you, but they still drink alcohol. They don't sign
their life away to say I'm never going to consume
ourc gohoal.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I kind of put them in the same place as
what I do celebrities, And if there was a celebrity
rolling around on the street next to a planet box,
I would feel the same.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
It was actually so funny.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I don't know if he saw that, like after the fact,
someone had gone with chalk and drawn an outline of
his body on the pavement, so it looks like a
crime scene, you know, so when the police had.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Got to come back and investigate, it was so funny.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
And I actually think that this was more like an
ode to the death of his career more than anything there.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
It is right there on the pavement. Do you reckon?
I haven't read the headlines today. Has anything more been released? No,
not really, but anyway, I hope everybody else's part of enjoy.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Okay, I won an update on the last couple of
days you actually had. It's going to really take it
down a notch because you had the shittest last couple
of days in Scotland then got sick. I saw a
video of you sleeping in separate beds with marks on.
It was very reminiscent of twenty twenty. I don't even
know what year I'm in, twenty twenty two, just covid. No,
the last few days were actually a disaster. We had
(06:40):
the last three days together and only one day off. Okay,
so he was still working, supposedly playing football and whatever,
and then we had one day off where he had
planned Bless his soul, a full expa day for the
two of us. That was, you know, like thermal pools
and saunas and massage and like just that. We were
in a really nice hotel lush I to spend the
day together just.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Doing hashtag health whatever. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Anyway, after the match three days before so he's supposed
to play them, we're having the day off. After the match,
he just started to get really unwell really quickly, and
long story.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Short, he ended up in the hospital with this. They
still don't know exactly what it was, but a hard
core infection.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I'm talking vomiting gas stro fevers like he was. He
had a fever of like thirty eight degrees plus, but
he was freezing, like he was begging for blankets. They're like,
we can't give you a blanket because you're about to
burn up and die. So we spent the night in
the hospital and I was like the dedicated girlfriend, you know,
like just nothing you can do right, tapping the.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Back, that's it, dedicated girl.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
But I was like tapping his back and he's like,
in the nicest way possible, can you not touch me?
And I was like, Okay, that's fine, because you know,
when you're so unwell and you're hurting, you don't want
any Like your skin hurts, you know, you don't want
anyone to touch it.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
There's nothing worse than someone patting or rubbing your back
when you're like I just want everything to stop.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
See, I love a BackRub when I'm unwell.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
That feeling of somebody with big, slow rubs on your
back is like my favorite thing to do. Anyway, he
was highly contagious, so I shouldn't have been doing it anyway,
So I ended up being in the other side of
the room. So the next three days, our last three
days together, we had to get a hotel room that
had two separate beds on either side, and we walked
around in gloves apron face mask. We had antiseptic wipes everywhere.
(08:20):
We couldn't touch, We couldn't do anything.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
So I didn't even.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Kiss him or cuddle him goodbye. Nothing for the last
three days. It was a disaster.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Did you realize we, like I expected that we would
have more sex than this, and now it's ended. It
ended three days ago and I didn't even get to
fully enjoy what it was.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Yeah, I had saved like a lingeriser. I had saved it.
Just put it on and wear it with face masks
side the room.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
It did didn't end with the plastic gloves, didn't land
He's gone on the late text vibe.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah, dance for me. No, But it was like it
just didn't.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
And you know, it's fine things don't go to plan,
But when I'm not going to see him for another
four months, losing three of your last days together is sad,
and especially when one of them would planned to spend
the day together. So I went to the spa, but
I got the massages by myself. Sherry, my sister Sherry
came and I'm not funny, no, ha, no, not funny funny,
(09:11):
but he's very unwell in his room. Can't you know
when you've been fever and vomiting for days you can't move?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And I was like, Babe, do you actually mind if
I just go and get my message? It's like, just go.
I went down and got my massage.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
No.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
I know you don't like massages, Laura. That was a
big part of the live show. You don't like people
rubbing you down and touching you but a waste of time.
I do not like.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I do like them, but so often they're just not
good enough, so I leave disappointed.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
It's like bad sex. Do you know what I mean? Like?
I don't want bad sex. I like sex. I don't
want bad sex. This reminds me. Do you remember that
quote from She's from Harry Potter.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
What's a name like Miriam Margles or something, And she's like,
RADI a shit or sex? Would you rather have a
radish than sex?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
If it was good sex, then I would rather have sex.
It was bad sex, I would rather have a radish. Okay,
I missed that trend in, but that was very funny.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Fuck.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I would rather have a radish.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Too, Yeah, okay, So I would rather have a bad
massage any day than no, I don't care as long
as I's rubbing my body down.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Its long than a goodish yeah, I mean hard decision.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yes, I'd rather someone be rubbing me down. Sorry, well,
I go to get this massage.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
And I was thinking of.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
You in this moment, actually, Laura, which is very unusual.
It turned on yes, is that what you want to hear?
Not my partner band, It was you.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
It was you.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I mean he was in later. I was sitting himself, so.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I'm glad you were the ladies rubbing me down, and
you know, they start at the top and she was
working down to the legs.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
He was so quiet. She was rubbing up my legs.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
And she was really like trying to get into my
hamshrinks because they're like pretty tight. It got really tight
hamstrnks and it was dead silent, and she'd only just
started the legs and she went up the legs and.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Then she just did the biggest fart, the biggest far
and it was so quiet, and you know when your
face is down and I just got the giggles, like
you know, when you're like I was biting my.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Lip because you know, when something happens and it's inappropriate
you're not supposed to laugh. So my head's in the
thing and she's her hands are at my butt basically,
and she's farted, and it was silent, and then she
only stopped for that one second and I could go.
I could tell she was like, do I say sorry,
excuse me? Or does she keep going? And I fashional
was she just keep going. I don't know if you've
ever had this moment where something sets you off and
(11:42):
once you've gone, you're gone.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I was hysterically laughing. I was shaking of laughter.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
So I had to cover it up and say, sorry,
I'm really ticklish on my legs.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Can you not massage them? So I.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Sacrificed my whole lower body massage because I had to
cover up and say that I was ticklish because she farted,
and I sorry for it.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I think she knew.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
She was like, oh, you're ticklish, and I was like
so big.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So then she had to go back up to the top,
so I just had the whole thing on the top
and nothing on the bottom.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
In a fart, no, do you know what?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I disagree, brit You don't need to take the fall
for a fart. You shouldn't have taken that one. It's
not your job to make her feel less uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I wasn't taking the full for the fart, but I
couldn't stop laughing, and it was rude. The giggles were
they were in full force. And anyone listening at home
knows when you were set off like that. It's probably
happened to me four times in my life, always with
my sister Sherry.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Actually no, we do it in radio whenever we've got
to read ads and you just like you can't.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
If someone was like, I'm giving you a million dollars
to stop laughing, you can't because it's set in your soul.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
They were my last days. So then I said goodbye
to Bend across the room with my latex glove. We
put our fingers out like ET puts it for crawl.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
I love you, And that was the last four days.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I mean, I know it's shit. I know literally literally
there was human shit everywhere. No, I know, I know
it's hard, Like I mean, We've spoken about a loads,
especially those few days after leaving, where you're like, oh
my god, my life is back to normal, which is
weird because I've just been living this alternate life in
another country totally.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I know it's really hard, but we're really happy to
have you back. Yeah again.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Okay, well, probably will leave you again at some point,
but I'm back and it feels good.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
As good as the massage. It wasn't be good for
the massage. Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Well, I mean, look, very brief update on my life.
I feel like there's been a lot that's been happening.
I bought some more plants.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
My daughter had a birthday party. Really though, like it's
set in. I bought some variegated monsterers. Now, if you're
a plant person, that will literally get you off.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
You will come in your pants hearing that.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I mean, if you're not a plant person, you'll think
I'm crazy, which is what my husband thinks I am,
and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So I went to Laura's house last night.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I had dressed some stuff off, we had some takeaway,
We had a little catch up. And it is a jungle.
It's the first time I've seen it with my own eyes.
There are plants everywhere. It just happened, and I want
to take you back a minute.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Laura.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Laura has now she has like these little lights that
she puts on everything. She cares for them. I've got
all this amazing spray, and she wraps them in foil
and she's propagating. She moves them around, she moves them around.
I want to take you back a little while. So
when I had said on this podcast, because I also
went through a plant phase a little while ago, you
kill them, though, No, I did research about wi FI
and how it can affect plants, and I told you
(14:16):
when you laughed in my face. And I also brought
a study to you, Laura, about how talking to your
plants with like positive affirmations and telling them they're like
a shit plant, like the difference negative and positive can
really affect the plant because the plant's are living creature.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
And you laughed in my face and said it was ridiculous. Well,
I caught Laura talking to her plants last night. No, yes,
you did. You were like you good little plans, look
at we look like little variation.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
No, do you know what you actually did? Brick came
in and she brought this up last night. She told
me to study. She reminded me of the moment, and
then she walked.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Around the house. She walked around the house swearing plants, calling.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Them she was like, fuck you plant, You're a fucking
ship plant everything.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I didn't mean it, but I was just trying to
prove a point to see if it does. She was like,
you're in an ugly pot. That pot's a little bit better,
but that pot sucks. She know. I was like, Hattie,
feel that that plant has a better pot.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
She was mean to all my plants in a bid
to bring them down. And I just think that that
is so bass. What a low form of human you
are that you would try and kill my plants.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
On the spot. I know, because it's not puddle them
all better. I told them all they were beautiful and
not to listen to. And also, you've been really mean.
I didn't judge the plant itself. I did it surrounding.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
It's like I told it that it's pots were bad,
that the other ones were getting better. Live imagine how
you walked into the office and I was like, what
you're wearing a shit?
Speaker 3 (15:36):
That's what you did to my plants.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh how they're turned tables, Laura, because you you went for.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Me when I brought this study up to you.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I talked to my plants and I treat them well,
and I don't have them next to the WiFi rout.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
This is true. Anyway, mine a thriving and yours are dead.
So let's let's unpack who's doing it?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Right?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Can I? Okay? No more plant chat. I'm really sorry.
I know, I know it's weird. You've got someone from
Facebook dropping out of plants this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Laura's like, I've got to get home straight after the record.
I was like, why have you got a meeting? She's like, well,
some of from Facebook Marketplace is dropping me a plant.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I bought a plant on Facebook Marketplace, but now put
it at the point now where I have to sneak
them in because Matt can't know that I have any more.
So I told Matt I was taking all into the
park and we went to Bunnings and we bought plants.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I don't know what's happened. You have a proper this.
I've heard I have a hyperfixation and it's on plants.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Now. Yeah, this is actually it's called plant diction. Yeah,
you have a plant addiction. Yeah, and it's there are
recovery forums for you. It's a twelve step program. Fuck.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Okay, something I did want to tell you guys, because
it's quite funny and I I don't.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Know if because I'll hear it out. I don't know
if this is going to come back to bite me
in the ass, probably if I made a massive mistake here,
or if maybe I got through scot free. Okay, So
Tony May I have a beautiful employee. Her name is Julia.
She is my social media girl. She's been with us
for quite a few months now, and she does like
all of our tiktoks and some of our reels and
(17:00):
stuff on Instagram. She helps me create content.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Now.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
In order for her to do that, I took into
the office one of my old phones, like my you know,
the phone that I had before this one.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
I was like, it's just a home it's not being used.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I took it into the office and like, you know,
had some of my old photos in it, but I
went through when I deleted stuff. Anyway, She's had that
now for probably a year, like a full year. And
on Friday something happened. She wasn't in the office, and
on Friday I was like, I need to go and
get something.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
I'll just download it off the phone, like there should be.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
It was a TikTok that she'd made, and it was
a reel that would have been saved into the folders,
and I was like, I'll just go into splice, I'll
download it, I'll air drop to my phone.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
So I open up the photo.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
App and I realize that every single photo from.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
My camera role has been syncing to.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
The office phone. That's what it does, every single one.
I didn't know that they were connected. Now, I don't
have embarrassing shit like dick pics or anything like that,
but I.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Have sex whips are on there. I don't have we're
the dick pic face. We're past the sexy photo phase.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
But there are two things on that phone that if
she went deep in my camera role.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Actually there's three things. One is the birth of my
children that is on my phone. The lesser of the
three evils is there's lots of photos of my face,
but not taking in like a cute I'm taking a selfie.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Anytime I have a skin thing or something.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I'll just take really really expressionless photos of like a
swollen eye or a pimple or like my malasma. There's
hundreds of photos of me taking like weird selfies of
skin things on my face. And I'm talking like I
don't take one photo I take like fifty of them
and then do you guys remember how I talked about
how I want a labyer plasty.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, so there's photos of my.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
LaBier at that phone in not a sexy way in
me trying to see, like how far down does.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
My left LaBier hang? Then my right LaBier? There are
photos of my lavier.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I just picture you going, hey, hey, Julia, babe, I
just have plays some photos.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Can you just turn that into real? She opens up
the phone and it's your LaBier. She's like, what am
I suppose we do a jewelry on the labia?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I don't know your laby I'm just imagining because they're
kind of close up. So I'm imagining her like zooming
and it being like, is that a minute steak?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Is that a labia?
Speaker 5 (19:07):
Like?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Where are we at? Is that a propagation? It's from
the deli section?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
What is this? Laura?
Speaker 3 (19:13):
You have some soft cut meats on your phone? What
is that? Did you have a dinner party? Didn't ask me?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Did you?
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Let?
Speaker 3 (19:28):
I wonder how long and how close? Like what level
of zoom she had to do till she realized it
was a LaBier. Oh no, it's pretty obvious it's a lavia.
But my thing is maybe she didn't look so she
loved bro she looks she looked.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
If your boss gives you a phone that is in
your possession twenty four to seven and it has her.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Whole history on there, you are I hate to break
into you. You're looking. You're going through every sickle photo?
Do you reckon?
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Wouldn't you tell your boss that their eye cloud was
sinking to the phone that you were using?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
She probably assumed, so she's probably like, Oh, she's fine
with me seeing her entire life.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
To be fair, I went back through those photos on
Saturday and I was like.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Did you probably will get a labya plasty?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But also fuck did not want my twenty one year
old staff to look through it. She would be like,
is that what happens after birth? She's never having kids now,
she's terrified. That is the best contraception you ever need.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Everyone. Are you going to talk to her about it? No? No,
hr reasons.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
I think.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
I think you crossed some boundaries.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Like I've given her trauma, Like I've impacted trauma all
my staff.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I I just see how the conversation is gonna go to.
Would you like to come in and discuss the Laby.
She's like, I don't want to. I've seen things like
you do. Pay me more, Laura.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
If you remember a few years ago, there was this
meme that was trending that said there should be in
Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want,
Like fuck it, let's see how high humans can really jump.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
This has come in fruition. There is a new Olympic
Games happening this year. It has been confirmed and it
is called the Enhanced Games. What it is is literally
an Olympics on steroids.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Let's call it what it is exactly. It should be
called the Olympics on steroids.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
It is.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
It's literally the Olympics, but on steroids. Yeah, so this
is the brainchild.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Now, you guys might have seen this trending all over
the news in Australia at the moment because there have
been a lot of Australian athletes that have come out
and commented on it. It's the brainchild of this Aussie
businessman named Aaron Desuza. Now he has gone and got
venture capitalists backing from billionaires around the world. One of
them is like the PayPal founder Peter Thiel, who is
controversial in his own right, But they've basically thrown millions
(21:41):
and millions of dollars towards this. So some of the
richest people have been like, Yeah, we want to go
and see how far humans can go when they've got
these drugs behind them.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Now, this is a.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Wild statistic, but there was an anonymous survey done on
Olympians and forty four percent of those athletes anonymously admitted
to using banned substances. But the thing is, only one
percent of those athletes are getting caught, So only one
percent of being banned from the Olympics because they've been
caught doping or taking any sort of enhancement. But forty
(22:11):
four percent have said that they do it. Now, that's
nearly fifty percent of our Olympians. Because all of a sudden,
you look at the Olympics in a different light, because
you're like, this isn't a fair playing ground. What about
all these clean athletes that are training for four years
at a time for this one swimming race or this
one running race that are not going to have a
chance in hell because there are other athletes illegally doping.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yeah, but isn't there like a wild variation between what
constitutes a band medication, Like I'm pretty sure that they
can't use nasal sprays, for example, and that's the nasal
sprays verse taking steroids, huge caveat in between. So like,
I mean, I guess that those statistics could probably be
cut in different ways.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
But no, Britt has wanted to talk about this for weeks,
and I was like, like.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Oh, why how was it talking about the steroid Olympics
on life on cut feels like a fucking weird wedge
and it feels like a weird place to go.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
But anyway, this got me off the line.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
So James Magnuson, who was my co star Onancing with
the Stars.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
He's from Port mcquarie, where I'm from. Irrelevant information, but
also good to know. He's also an Olympian. He's a
decorated Australian Olympia. He's a decorated Australian Olympian.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
He's also in media, has been extremely successful in his
own right, but now he's a retired athlete and he
had something really interesting to say on this, and this
is kind of what swayed my opinion a little bit.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Yeah, there's a couple of things. Look first and foremost
is cash.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
You know when you sit around at the pub with
your mates and you say, what would you do for
a million bucks? I'd try and break world record from
million bucks. So that was the first things. I'm thirty
two years old, as far as my athletic peak history
says that.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
It's behind me. The enhanced game, say it's not. Let's
find out.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
Is this a genuine avenue for athletes post career to
continue their earning potential, to continue to perform at a
world class event. And the third thing entertainment. Sport is
about entertainment. Sometimes we get too caught up and take
sport too seriously and think that we're playing for life
(24:02):
or death.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Out there. Sports about entertainment.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
I want to see the fastest athletes in the world.
So far, that's been at the Olympic Games. We've gone
from test cricket to T twenty. We've gone from PGA
to live golf. We've got Ronaldo playing in the Saudi
League in soccer.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Who says this can't be the next live golf.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
After listening to this, I very much resonated with what
James was saying and the reason for that is is
because if you do look at the normal Olympics, and
I get that we have been conditioned to think that
it is the.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
And it is.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Obviously it's the fastest, the strongest, the most incredible athletes
that are alive of their time right, and they're all
setting records and breaking records and everything, and it's incredible
to watch. But I guess if it's this underground and
known thing that people within the Olympics are doing steroids
or they're taking enhancement drugs, and it's kind of that
taboo thing that no one talks about. It's shrouded in
(24:55):
so much shame and secrecy and scandal because it is
in essence cheating. And we saw it happen with Lance
Armstrong when it all came out that he'd been doping
the whole fucking dime.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Like scandal, scandal, scandal.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
What I think is interesting about this and having like
two very separate Olympics, is that if somebody signs themselves
up to play or perform in the Enhanced Olympics, they
no longer can do it in the normal Olympics. So
what it kind of does is that weeds out those people, right,
the people who want to take enhancement drugs are going
to be over here jumping higher than anyone's ever jumped,
(25:28):
and then the rest of them are going to be,
you know, going to the normal Olympics, And I guess
it kind of makes it a more even playing field.
And I mean, these are all adults who have full
agency of their bodies. They can decide what they put
into it, what they do with it. But I do
think it's interesting the backlash that James is receiving from this,
And there are a few commentators. One of them was
a NERL star Martin Lang, who has come out and
(25:50):
said that it's disgraceful, what a disgraceful example to set
for children.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
And aspiring young athletes.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And to that, I kind of think, why do we
always go back to this debate of like that they're children,
because and I'm not saying this to defend James by
any means, but like, it's not every single athlete's responsibility
for their entire life to do everything being held up
as like an inspiration for children. And I know that
it kind of comes with the territory, right, Like if
(26:19):
you're a professional athlete, then you are set any example
for children and you's like a very like camaraderie Australian
thing to do. But I also kind of think, okay,
these people are also doing it for their own financial gain.
The thing that sets this Olympics apart is that there's
going to be huge financial backing and a huge opportunity
to win incredible amounts of money. And what's been dangled
(26:40):
over Jane Magnuson's sort of, you know, the carrot that's
been dangled over him is that if he can set
a new record at the Enhanced Olympics, which is quite
a nice way of putting it, he will be up
for winning one point five million dollars, which is so
much more than anybody would have the opportunity of winning
it the normal Olympics.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
But when we think about I mean the so many
points I want to talk about, but when we think about,
you know, think of the children. What a bad example.
The guy's an Olympian. Naturally, he's not a bad example.
He's dedicated his whole life to training, to winning medals
for his country to get him where he is now.
He's at a point where he has an opportunity to
see how far he can go with help to win money.
(27:19):
He's not out there. He's not telling people to go
and shoot up. He's like when people like you're such
a bad example. He's not let out their party in raging.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
I mean, we don't know. He's not being that on
social media.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
But he's decided to, under medical guidelines, take something that
is and we don't know what it's going to be,
Like we don't know what enhancements people are going to take,
but under a complete medical team, like he said, he's
going to go to the US to do it properly
with people that this is their entire life. They dedicate
to knowing what to give an athlete to enhance them.
He's going to do it properly to see how far
(27:50):
he can push his body and also hopefully win one
and a half million dollars. Did you guys know the
average salary for an Olympian is like seventy five to
one hundred thousand dollars. Like they dedicate their entire life,
they have to train all day every day. I know
this firsthand because I actually know a few people that
have been Sea Olympics, and they all say it's impossible
to make money, Like you can barely live. You have
to beg sponsors to give you money to continue to
(28:12):
stay afloat so that you have the chance to go
and represent your country. We've had this conversation before with
the Women's AFL. We had Moana hope On saying she
had to give up the sport because she couldn't afford
to live the fact that now that they can do
what they have trained their whole life to do under
medical guidelines. So we're going to get into that in
a minute. I understand why people are going to be
tempted to do this. And as another Aussie Olympian, Lisa Jones,
(28:35):
who is so highly decorated, she's also come out and
said I get it, I'm for it. I'd love to
watch it if it's going to weed out people from
taking records from clean people and putting them into a
doping section where people know straight down the middle, you're
either in your clean Olympics or you're doping. As long
(28:56):
as it's not taking world records from cleaning people. So
once the doping people win their world record, as long
as in the Guinness World Record books, it doesn't wipe
that away like that too. Separate, very separate Olympics and
very separate records.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I'm sort of on board with it. Also sports entertainment, man,
imagine watching one hundred meter hurdles with someone on steroids.
That shit's going to be fire.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
But this is the thing, right, like steroids and steroid
abuse and steroid use has always been prolific. Like look
at Arnold Swarzenegger, for example. It is well reported now
that when he was at the absolute height of his
fame and his success, that he was on the juice.
But the thing is, he never would have omitted it
at the time. And I guess now knowing that retroactively
(29:39):
or retrospectively, they doesn't change anything. I don't know, And
maybe it's because we have been conditioned to think that it.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Is so shameful.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
And I'm not saying this as in like, I'm also
not saying this as like, think of the people on royds.
I don't have sympathy for them, but I do think
that we've created a system where if you are taking enhancements,
it is the deaf of cheating, and therefore it's the
cheating that's shameful. Right, So if you create an Olympics,
whether you take that away and people are allowed to
do and be and whatever you kind of like clean
(30:10):
cut that down the middle. Now, I think about this
argument of well, what example does that set for the children,
and I think that that is kind of like a
very base argument. The bigger argument that I worry about
and that I think we will probably see is this
conversation around privilege. Because if there is a huge amount
of money that's up for grabs, there will be people
who have money already, who come from Western countries where
(30:32):
they have access to the right type of medication, the
right type of doctors, the right type of sort of
supervision for this, and then there will be people who
will do these Olympics, this like enhanced Olympics, because there
is so much money at stake to be one, but
they're coming from a lack of privilege, a lack of money,
a lack of funding, a lack of resources. And I
think that that creates a power dynamic where those people
(30:55):
will be at risk because they will take a greater
risk to win because the winning means more to them.
And I think that that's probably the disparity that's going
to be created by these Olympics.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, I agree, but I also think to some level,
you have to have a level of privilege to be
in the Clean Olympics anyway, because nobody can train day
in and day out in a sport without having some
form of assistance. Now a lot of Australians I can't
speak around there the rest of the world, but you
have to have gotten to a certain level by a
certain age yourself, and then you can go to places
like the Australian Institute of Sport and you can get
(31:25):
scholarships that will help you from there. But I think
there's always some level of privilege anyway. But when we
turn to safety, because the next big conversation is safety,
you know, like this is so unsafe, people are going
to be having heart attacks and pushing themselves too far.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
And that's absolutely accurate.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
I think people probably will do that if they're not
doing it properly. But it's interesting what Aaron Desuzo, who's
the founder, what he says about it. He says, let's
be clear, drug testing is about fairness, not safety. Enhanced
Games aims to be the safest sporting event in the world.
At the Enhanced Games, we prioritize athlete safety first. In
partnership with top scientists and clinicians. We're developing a full
(32:03):
system medical pre competition screening protocol to protect athletes competing.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
In the Enhanced Games.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
What is saying is, and I'll summarize it because he
goes on for a long time. Basically, they're putting together
a whole lot of physiological tests heart, blood, cholesterol, and
they've got all of these levels that you can't be
above them, right, so they're still going to be a
level of safety. They're like, you cannot go and compete,
so we've done a full physical on you, and if
you are in a level that is not safe, we
(32:31):
won't let you compete because we're not going to risk you.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Going out there and having a heart attack.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
That testing isn't done in the Olympics, and it's not
done in most sports. The only testing that is done
is a piss test to see if you're on the drugs.
But they're not testing that you're safe to go and perform.
So in fact, if this is true, this will be
a safer sport because every athlete is going to be
tested before they go out.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
The counter argument to that, though, is so when someone
gets ruled out of the competition, it's because they've already
reached a level that is unsafe to them. So there
will be people that toppled over that that may be
then ruled out of competing, but they've already done that.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Abuse to their body.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
There are side effects from anabolic steroids like infertility, erectile dysfunction,
hair loss, severe acne, like there are other things that
can happen. I mean, I'm sure people are quite happy
to goff at some of those things in order to
win a lot of money. But I guess it comes
down to not just the short term effects that you're
having on your body to compete, but what are those
long term effects that you're having in your body which
(33:29):
people can't test for because it could be showing up
in a decade's time. Look overall, do I want to
see someone jump fucking four meters and you know, run
faster than Usain Bolt?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Yes, I would watch it.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Do I want my kids to be aspiring to be
doping athletes?
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Probably not, but also want to be yourn on.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Nope, I want to be a doping athlete, But I
also think that there's many other things that I think
we need to like protect the kids from, And I
think ultimately we do live in an age now where
there is this incredible push towards science based wellness and
this idea of like how far can you push your body?
I mean, there's people like Brian Johnston who've spoken about
(34:09):
I think we spoke about it on radio, so it
may not have been on the podcast, but we spoke
about He's this guy who's like fucking Edy's fifties or
sixties or something, and he's trying to find the fountain
of youth.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
He spends millions of dollars a year on having a
full team of people to reverse his age. He even
takes the blood from his sons to reput them back
in his body to try and hold onto his youth.
Like he's extreme, it's insane, but there is the technology
that's out there, and I think, you know, you can
fight the system, or you can swim with the river sometimes,
and I think in this instance, it is the base
of entertainment and it is swimming with the river, do
(34:40):
you know what I think? I think this is really
shocking right now, like everything is. When the world is
progressing and there is the first time for something, we're
breaking the rules for the first time. When marijuana became
legal for the first time in a country. It's so
shocking and nobody can get their head around the fact
that this could be the way of the future.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
But I think this will be the way of the few.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
And at the end of the day, people have autonomy
over their own body, and if they are making the
decision to put that into their body to do this,
who are we to stop them? And also, if it
is going to be making sport as we know it cleaner,
safer and fairer, and these individuals are making the decision
(35:21):
on their own, who will we to not watch it.
I'm going to get the popcorn, sit back and enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
I think it's probably the fear that people, too many people,
especially when there's no money to be made in the Olympics,
too many people will turn away from the traditional Olympics,
and that maybe this might become the benchmark rather than
the exception. Because at the moment, there's like nine hundred
athletes who have signed up across like nine hundred professional
athletes across the world who have put their head up
and said that they would consider for years, and you know,
(35:49):
some of them are retired, some of them are looking
for a way to get back into the sport where
they've made their money from previously, or their income from.
But also it makes me think, okay, and I know
that this might be a little bit of a tenuous link,
but hear me out. I think about drug testing and
pill testing at festivals, right, and the argument of like, well,
if you do pell testing at festivals, more people are
gonna do pills.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
It's the same argument.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I don't know whether it means that it's going to
result in more people doing it or or it's more visibility.
Maybe it will because I guess we do celebrate athletes,
and so therefore having someone who's winning the doping Olympics
would mean that they're more celebrated that I don't think
it necessarily means that it's gonna have this direct impact
on people wanting to take steroids. But you know, I
(36:32):
guess we'll have to wait and see there's enough. There's
enough people at the gym on creatine. Fuck, I've got
like four tubs of that in our cupboard at the moment.
Matt and he's protein and creatine.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Maybe Matt's going to sign on. You do need more
money for propagation. You do think about all the monsterios
I could buy. Guys, we have some fucking funny accidentally
on filters come through this week. This is where you're
writing your most embarrassing story, my favorite ones, where you're
actually living it, like you've written to us and you're like,
oh my god, this is happening to me right now. I've
(37:00):
locked myself in my bathroom.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
When you are thinking of us in your moment of crisis,
it's honors me.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
We feel connected to you, like a deep connection.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Okay, this one gave me a chuckle, and it reminds
me of something you told us at the start of
this episode. Laura, I see mistakes. It's got something to
do with Deli Meats. She was not at the Delli note.
I started a new job recently working from home, and
I love listening to audio books. Now while working in
the privacy of said home, I have been listening to
the Fifty Shades of Gray Books.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
I'm up to episode three. I also like to listen
to many other steamy stories.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
My boss just sent me a random email that said, HI,
just wanted to bring it to your attention that our
work issued laptops record everything All day long. My boss
had been listening to me listening to audio porn while
on workout.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Who is trying? Who is at home home?
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Minesthesis listening to fifty sh of Gray on a work
hours This chance of gray is fine, that's fine whilst working.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
I don't mind, no, because I was just thinking of
like my employee. I was like, if my employee was
working and cause.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
She's are only one, so I was like, if my
employee was at home working listening to porn simultaneously.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Sorry, button boy, we have two employees now. Butter boys
in the corner being like, what am I ham sandwich?
Speaker 1 (38:23):
I mean like, I love porn, love audio porn, nothing
against that, But I don't think you can be working
and listening to porn.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Okay, I disagree because I do not think everybody needs
a bit of relaxation in their lives. I do not
think that Fifty Shades of Gray is pawn. It's just
a book. I think it is the most vanilla porn
that you.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Could ever read.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
And I think what's the difference been having a podcast
on in the background, verse listening to like an audiobook. Also,
if you're going to record your staff, at least tell
them tell them beforehand, don't tell them after that.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
Yeah, that's a whole nother not okay.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
No, you can't just have a secret squirrel laptop records
at home.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
It's so it's yes, it's actually like no, I'm not
okay with this. And also, why are you recording them?
Because they're working from home, so you want to make
sure that they're sitting in front of their laptop all
the time. Like there's so many layers of You're not
in the wrong here by listening to fifty shades of gray.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Your employees right are assuman, it's not video recording.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
I think it's just what's coming out of It's just
because it's a work laptop that's only supposed to be
used for work purposes. I'm assuming he just has access
to the work laptop, he's logged in and listened to
a porn That's my assumption. But yeah, i'd scream in legalities.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
I think there's some problems there.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Anyway, guys, all right, well that is it from us today.
Give you a little heads up on tomorrow's episode. We
are doing an episode all around anxiety. We're speaking to Anna,
the anxiety coach. It's been ages since we did a
deep dive on anxiety. It is something that I think
a lot of people will be able to get something
out of how to manage anxiety. Also, like the prevalence
of it, is it something that's increased recently, because I
(39:56):
think that there's so many more conversations around anxiety these days.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Is that nature?
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Is it what we're being exposed to, or is it
that we're more able to speak about it? I think
is a really interesting thing to unpack. Anna is a
complete expert in this topic. So if you or someone
in your life struggles with anxiety, this will be an
episode for you. Also, if you're single and you're feeling
anxious about it, because tomorrow is Valentine's Day, What a
day to have that on.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
Hey, we really skimmed over the fact that it's V
Day Tomorrow's. I just think Valentine's Day is such like
a crock of shit.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I say that, but like, I've never disliked getting a
present on Valentine's Day. But I agree with you, But like,
I don't expect a present, but if I have one,
I'm not going to be like, I can't believe you
got me a present. Like speaking of I've gotten Matt
nothing and I have not thought about it until you
never do And I'm really bad with presents.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I'm really bad.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Why would you buy him a present on V Day
when you think it's a croc of shit that defeats
the whole purpose buying one next week just for the
sake of it.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
I know, I know, I just think.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
You know, you see everyone there at Woolli's at two
o'clock in the afternoon, who forgot to get a present.
They're getting a shit card and a sh flower, And
it's just like there's no thought, you know. And it's
not about not buying something from Woolies. That's not my point.
My point is is like, if you left it to
two o'clock in the afternoon to buy something on Valentine's.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Day, you might as well not do it at all. Anyway,
that's my rant. Yeah, wow, I'll still take it if
you buy at three o'clock. That's it from us, guys.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
You can go and follow us at Life on Cup Podcasts,
on Instagram, Facebook, join the discussion group, and you know
the drill.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
So your mum, teen Dad, Tea, Doug Tea, Friends and
Shanna Love because we love Love
Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
past and present.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
recorded on the rug Wallamuta Land.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and I'm in studio in
the flesh. We're back together again. I was gonna sing
a song, but I couldn't come out with them.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
What have we got? We are? We just.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I don't know what they're the lyrics, but we are
two together.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Here we are.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I'm sorry if you knew and we've lost you. That's
not usually how this goes down. I've been overseas for
a couple of months. We've been doing some long distance recordings,
and I'm back in the flesh, my feet on Australian's soil.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And my feeder on brit me and everything is back
to the way that it should be in the life
of the world.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
In the life of the world, I purposely, I don't
know if you noticed, but I sat our seats a
little bit further away so that those claw of your
feet cannot touch me because you always reach out with
your little chlory many toes.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Mind you No, no, please don't.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Can I just say firstly, I hope everybody had a
great weekend. I hope everybody has had a wonderful week
I hope everybody's enjoying themselves more than Barnaby Joyce at
the moment, because I think that, I.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Mean, Barnaby Joyce had a great weekend. His loving life.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
This.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
If you haven't seen it, I'm sure you have. Barnaby
Joyce was found in Canberra. He was videoed by someone
just laying he'd fallen off a garden bed very late
at night, on the phone to his wife and then
was just laying in the street. One would assume he
maybe had had a few wines, but you know what,
it hasn't been confirmed, so it's all just accusations at
the moment.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But why what is he doing with his life? I
just think it's funny that this has gone viral. Like
the guy gone out for afterwork drinks is in Parliament.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
It was a rough day.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
He put some bills through, he needed it be no,
he decided to have a lay down, kick his legs up.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, it was on the pavement in public, that's fine.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
No.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Britta and I were talking about this last night and
she was like, I don't know why people get so
up in arms about politicians.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Because they're running the country. This is the best that
we've got. Do you think he was on the phone
at that point? Who do you think he was on
the phone to Joe Biden? Do you think he's making
presidential decisions right now?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
And no, he's not. He's just probably having phone sex
with his wife in the street. Yeah, let him live deplorable.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
And I'm not saying this because look, I do want
to make it like on record, Barnaby Joyce and I
are not close. I am not tight with him. I'm
not protecting him for that reason. I'm actually not protecting him.
I just think it's funny that this is making the
news and like people are like.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Just let the guy have a drink.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
If he was getting wasted in parliament, it's different if
he's doing his parliamentary debate with his feet up on
the ground wasted.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
It's a difference, you No, no, no.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I think it's the fact that he hasn't a to
drinking because we don't know, right, like there's been no
conversation about drinking. He just said that he fell off
the planter box onto his side, and then he just
laid there on the phone with his feet up for
a while, which one would think that would be an
unusual decision to make if you weren't under the influence neither.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Haven't you ever fallen over or something? I just laid
there and just been it's too hard to get up.
I'm gonna hang you for a while, you know how,
Like you drive home in the car sometimes and you're
really tired, and all you want to do is be
in bed, like to say, it's nighttime, but you're so
tired that you don't even want to get out of
the car, and sometimes you sit in the car for
like two hours. That's what old Barnaby was doing.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
No, it reminds me of being like eighteen, and you know,
when you were really drunk, but you try and convince
your friends that you weren't and then they're like, babe,
you're passed out in a flower bed and you're like, oh, yeah,
I guess I guess maybe I did push it a
little bit too far last night.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
That was Barnaby Joyce on the weekend, Do you okay?
Prayers for Barnaby Joyce.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I remember, I don't know your friends did this.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I remember in my teenage years when all of my
friends and I would sneak out to party.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
You know, you're in that era, like I'm saying, Sally's
house and Sally Santa Betty's house and Betty Santa Britey's house,
and you go to a beach party or something, right.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I remember the boys and like this big group of
friends because we had these huge group of friends of
boys and girls were at this party house party, and
we were too young to be drinking, and we're too
young to know what being drunk was yet, you know,
when it's you're just starting out.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
But it was cool to be drunk.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
So the boys tricked one of my friends into They
filled like this bottle of vodka or something with basically water,
and they had like the tinest bit in it, and
she had been drinking.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
All night and she was progressively getting drunk up but
there was nothing in there. They faked it, and I
just thought that was up because she was wasted. She
was in the planet of boxing with the end of
the night, but she was faking it. Because she only
had water.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I get what you're saying by this. You're saying, Barnaby
Joyce just did it for Instagram life.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
He wanted to make the meeting. It was all fake.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
He actually wasn't drunk, and he was like, how am
I gonna make it back to the top of Daily Mail.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I haven't been controversial for a while, you know what
little's gone on for the last little bit. I will
lay down here.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
But I do question, when do you think is the
point where Barnaby Joyce, he like goes past the point
of being controversial, where it's no longer it's like you
just expect it, because you would think, like imagine if
Penny Wong, for example, was laying it a plant box,
you would be a little bit more like, oh my god,
what's happened?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
This is crazy? But Barnaby Joyce does it? We all laugh.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
No, Penny Wong does it. She'd be celebrated. People like, yes,
queen a night off because working hard. Because it's not
exactly the headline to be completely different. It's because no,
as if if she went and had a night out
and she was people.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Would think she was deranged. They'd think she'd lost the plot. Guys,
They're still humans.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Politicians are still human beings. I know that that might
shock you, but they still drink alcohol. They don't sign
their life away to say I'm never going to consume
ourc gohoal.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I kind of put them in the same place as
what I do celebrities, And if there was a celebrity
rolling around on the street next to a planet box,
I would feel the same.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
It was actually so funny.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I don't know if he saw that, like after the fact,
someone had gone with chalk and drawn an outline of
his body on the pavement, so it looks like a
crime scene, you know, so when the police had.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Got to come back and investigate, it was so funny.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
And I actually think that this was more like an
ode to the death of his career more than anything there.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
It is right there on the pavement. Do you reckon?
I haven't read the headlines today. Has anything more been released? No,
not really, but anyway, I hope everybody else's part of enjoy.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Okay, I won an update on the last couple of
days you actually had. It's going to really take it
down a notch because you had the shittest last couple
of days in Scotland then got sick. I saw a
video of you sleeping in separate beds with marks on.
It was very reminiscent of twenty twenty. I don't even
know what year I'm in, twenty twenty two, just covid. No,
the last few days were actually a disaster. We had
(06:40):
the last three days together and only one day off. Okay,
so he was still working, supposedly playing football and whatever,
and then we had one day off where he had
planned Bless his soul, a full expa day for the
two of us. That was, you know, like thermal pools
and saunas and massage and like just that. We were
in a really nice hotel lush I to spend the
day together just.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Doing hashtag health whatever. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Anyway, after the match three days before so he's supposed
to play them, we're having the day off. After the match,
he just started to get really unwell really quickly, and
long story.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Short, he ended up in the hospital with this. They
still don't know exactly what it was, but a hard
core infection.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I'm talking vomiting gas stro fevers like he was. He
had a fever of like thirty eight degrees plus, but
he was freezing, like he was begging for blankets. They're like,
we can't give you a blanket because you're about to
burn up and die. So we spent the night in
the hospital and I was like the dedicated girlfriend, you know,
like just nothing you can do right, tapping the.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Back, that's it, dedicated girl.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
But I was like tapping his back and he's like,
in the nicest way possible, can you not touch me?
And I was like, Okay, that's fine, because you know,
when you're so unwell and you're hurting, you don't want
any Like your skin hurts, you know, you don't want
anyone to touch it.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
There's nothing worse than someone patting or rubbing your back
when you're like I just want everything to stop.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
See, I love a BackRub when I'm unwell.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
That feeling of somebody with big, slow rubs on your
back is like my favorite thing to do. Anyway, he
was highly contagious, so I shouldn't have been doing it anyway,
So I ended up being in the other side of
the room. So the next three days, our last three
days together, we had to get a hotel room that
had two separate beds on either side, and we walked
around in gloves apron face mask. We had antiseptic wipes everywhere.
(08:20):
We couldn't touch, We couldn't do anything.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
So I didn't even.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Kiss him or cuddle him goodbye. Nothing for the last
three days. It was a disaster.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Did you realize we, like I expected that we would
have more sex than this, and now it's ended. It
ended three days ago and I didn't even get to
fully enjoy what it was.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Yeah, I had saved like a lingeriser. I had saved it.
Just put it on and wear it with face masks
side the room.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
It did didn't end with the plastic gloves, didn't land
He's gone on the late text vibe.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah, dance for me. No, But it was like it
just didn't.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
And you know, it's fine things don't go to plan,
But when I'm not going to see him for another
four months, losing three of your last days together is sad,
and especially when one of them would planned to spend
the day together. So I went to the spa, but
I got the massages by myself. Sherry, my sister Sherry
came and I'm not funny, no, ha, no, not funny funny,
(09:11):
but he's very unwell in his room. Can't you know
when you've been fever and vomiting for days you can't move?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And I was like, Babe, do you actually mind if
I just go and get my message? It's like, just go.
I went down and got my massage.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
No.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
I know you don't like massages, Laura. That was a
big part of the live show. You don't like people
rubbing you down and touching you but a waste of time.
I do not like.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I do like them, but so often they're just not
good enough, so I leave disappointed.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
It's like bad sex. Do you know what I mean? Like?
I don't want bad sex. I like sex. I don't
want bad sex. This reminds me. Do you remember that
quote from She's from Harry Potter.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
What's a name like Miriam Margles or something, And she's like,
RADI a shit or sex? Would you rather have a
radish than sex?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
If it was good sex, then I would rather have sex.
It was bad sex, I would rather have a radish. Okay,
I missed that trend in, but that was very funny.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Fuck.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I would rather have a radish.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Too, Yeah, okay, So I would rather have a bad
massage any day than no, I don't care as long
as I's rubbing my body down.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Its long than a goodish yeah, I mean hard decision.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yes, I'd rather someone be rubbing me down. Sorry, well,
I go to get this massage.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
And I was thinking of.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
You in this moment, actually, Laura, which is very unusual.
It turned on yes, is that what you want to hear?
Not my partner band, It was you.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
It was you.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I mean he was in later. I was sitting himself, so.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I'm glad you were the ladies rubbing me down, and
you know, they start at the top and she was
working down to the legs.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
He was so quiet. She was rubbing up my legs.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
And she was really like trying to get into my
hamshrinks because they're like pretty tight. It got really tight
hamstrnks and it was dead silent, and she'd only just
started the legs and she went up the legs and.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Then she just did the biggest fart, the biggest far
and it was so quiet, and you know when your
face is down and I just got the giggles, like
you know, when you're like I was biting my.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Lip because you know, when something happens and it's inappropriate
you're not supposed to laugh. So my head's in the
thing and she's her hands are at my butt basically,
and she's farted, and it was silent, and then she
only stopped for that one second and I could go.
I could tell she was like, do I say sorry,
excuse me? Or does she keep going? And I fashional
was she just keep going. I don't know if you've
ever had this moment where something sets you off and
(11:42):
once you've gone, you're gone.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I was hysterically laughing. I was shaking of laughter.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
So I had to cover it up and say, sorry,
I'm really ticklish on my legs.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Can you not massage them? So I.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Sacrificed my whole lower body massage because I had to
cover up and say that I was ticklish because she farted,
and I sorry for it.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
I think she knew.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
She was like, oh, you're ticklish, and I was like
so big.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So then she had to go back up to the top,
so I just had the whole thing on the top
and nothing on the bottom.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
In a fart, no, do you know what?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I disagree, brit You don't need to take the fall
for a fart. You shouldn't have taken that one. It's
not your job to make her feel less uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I wasn't taking the full for the fart, but I
couldn't stop laughing, and it was rude. The giggles were
they were in full force. And anyone listening at home
knows when you were set off like that. It's probably
happened to me four times in my life, always with
my sister Sherry.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Actually no, we do it in radio whenever we've got
to read ads and you just like you can't.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
If someone was like, I'm giving you a million dollars
to stop laughing, you can't because it's set in your soul.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
They were my last days. So then I said goodbye
to Bend across the room with my latex glove. We
put our fingers out like ET puts it for crawl.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
I love you, And that was the last four days.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I mean, I know it's shit. I know literally literally
there was human shit everywhere. No, I know, I know
it's hard, Like I mean, We've spoken about a loads,
especially those few days after leaving, where you're like, oh
my god, my life is back to normal, which is
weird because I've just been living this alternate life in
another country totally.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I know it's really hard, but we're really happy to
have you back. Yeah again.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Okay, well, probably will leave you again at some point,
but I'm back and it feels good.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
As good as the massage. It wasn't be good for
the massage. Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Well, I mean, look, very brief update on my life.
I feel like there's been a lot that's been happening.
I bought some more plants.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
My daughter had a birthday party. Really though, like it's
set in. I bought some variegated monsterers. Now, if you're
a plant person, that will literally get you off.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
You will come in your pants hearing that.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I mean, if you're not a plant person, you'll think
I'm crazy, which is what my husband thinks I am,
and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So I went to Laura's house last night.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I had dressed some stuff off, we had some takeaway,
We had a little catch up. And it is a jungle.
It's the first time I've seen it with my own eyes.
There are plants everywhere. It just happened, and I want
to take you back a minute.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Laura.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Laura has now she has like these little lights that
she puts on everything. She cares for them. I've got
all this amazing spray, and she wraps them in foil
and she's propagating. She moves them around, she moves them around.
I want to take you back a little while. So
when I had said on this podcast, because I also
went through a plant phase a little while ago, you
kill them, though, No, I did research about wi FI
and how it can affect plants, and I told you
(14:16):
when you laughed in my face. And I also brought
a study to you, Laura, about how talking to your
plants with like positive affirmations and telling them they're like
a shit plant, like the difference negative and positive can
really affect the plant because the plant's are living creature.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
And you laughed in my face and said it was ridiculous. Well,
I caught Laura talking to her plants last night. No, yes,
you did. You were like you good little plans, look
at we look like little variation.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
No, do you know what you actually did? Brick came
in and she brought this up last night. She told
me to study. She reminded me of the moment, and
then she walked.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Around the house. She walked around the house swearing plants, calling.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Them she was like, fuck you plant, You're a fucking
ship plant everything.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I didn't mean it, but I was just trying to
prove a point to see if it does. She was like,
you're in an ugly pot. That pot's a little bit better,
but that pot sucks. She know. I was like, Hattie,
feel that that plant has a better pot.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
She was mean to all my plants in a bid
to bring them down. And I just think that that
is so bass. What a low form of human you
are that you would try and kill my plants.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
On the spot. I know, because it's not puddle them
all better. I told them all they were beautiful and
not to listen to. And also, you've been really mean.
I didn't judge the plant itself. I did it surrounding.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
It's like I told it that it's pots were bad,
that the other ones were getting better. Live imagine how
you walked into the office and I was like, what
you're wearing a shit?
Speaker 3 (15:36):
That's what you did to my plants.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh how they're turned tables, Laura, because you you went for.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Me when I brought this study up to you.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I talked to my plants and I treat them well,
and I don't have them next to the WiFi rout.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
This is true. Anyway, mine a thriving and yours are dead.
So let's let's unpack who's doing it?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Right?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Can I? Okay? No more plant chat. I'm really sorry.
I know, I know it's weird. You've got someone from
Facebook dropping out of plants this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Laura's like, I've got to get home straight after the record.
I was like, why have you got a meeting? She's like, well,
some of from Facebook Marketplace is dropping me a plant.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I bought a plant on Facebook Marketplace, but now put
it at the point now where I have to sneak
them in because Matt can't know that I have any more.
So I told Matt I was taking all into the
park and we went to Bunnings and we bought plants.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I don't know what's happened. You have a proper this.
I've heard I have a hyperfixation and it's on plants.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Now. Yeah, this is actually it's called plant diction. Yeah,
you have a plant addiction. Yeah, and it's there are
recovery forums for you. It's a twelve step program. Fuck.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Okay, something I did want to tell you guys, because
it's quite funny and I I don't.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Know if because I'll hear it out. I don't know
if this is going to come back to bite me
in the ass, probably if I made a massive mistake here,
or if maybe I got through scot free. Okay, So
Tony May I have a beautiful employee. Her name is Julia.
She is my social media girl. She's been with us
for quite a few months now, and she does like
all of our tiktoks and some of our reels and
(17:00):
stuff on Instagram. She helps me create content.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Now.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
In order for her to do that, I took into
the office one of my old phones, like my you know,
the phone that I had before this one.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
I was like, it's just a home it's not being used.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I took it into the office and like, you know,
had some of my old photos in it, but I
went through when I deleted stuff. Anyway, She's had that
now for probably a year, like a full year. And
on Friday something happened. She wasn't in the office, and
on Friday I was like, I need to go and
get something.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
I'll just download it off the phone, like there should be.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
It was a TikTok that she'd made, and it was
a reel that would have been saved into the folders,
and I was like, I'll just go into splice, I'll
download it, I'll air drop to my phone.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
So I open up the photo.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
App and I realize that every single photo from.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
My camera role has been syncing to.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
The office phone. That's what it does, every single one.
I didn't know that they were connected. Now, I don't
have embarrassing shit like dick pics or anything like that,
but I.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Have sex whips are on there. I don't have we're
the dick pic face. We're past the sexy photo phase.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
But there are two things on that phone that if
she went deep in my camera role.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Actually there's three things. One is the birth of my
children that is on my phone. The lesser of the
three evils is there's lots of photos of my face,
but not taking in like a cute I'm taking a selfie.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Anytime I have a skin thing or something.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I'll just take really really expressionless photos of like a
swollen eye or a pimple or like my malasma. There's
hundreds of photos of me taking like weird selfies of
skin things on my face. And I'm talking like I
don't take one photo I take like fifty of them
and then do you guys remember how I talked about
how I want a labyer plasty.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, so there's photos of my.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
LaBier at that phone in not a sexy way in
me trying to see, like how far down does.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
My left LaBier hang? Then my right LaBier? There are
photos of my lavier.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I just picture you going, hey, hey, Julia, babe, I
just have plays some photos.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Can you just turn that into real? She opens up
the phone and it's your LaBier. She's like, what am
I suppose we do a jewelry on the labia?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I don't know your laby I'm just imagining because they're
kind of close up. So I'm imagining her like zooming
and it being like, is that a minute steak?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Is that a labia?
Speaker 5 (19:07):
Like?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Where are we at? Is that a propagation? It's from
the deli section?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
What is this? Laura?
Speaker 3 (19:13):
You have some soft cut meats on your phone? What
is that? Did you have a dinner party? Didn't ask me?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Did you?
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Let?
Speaker 3 (19:28):
I wonder how long and how close? Like what level
of zoom she had to do till she realized it
was a LaBier. Oh no, it's pretty obvious it's a lavia.
But my thing is maybe she didn't look so she
loved bro she looks she looked.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
If your boss gives you a phone that is in
your possession twenty four to seven and it has her.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Whole history on there, you are I hate to break
into you. You're looking. You're going through every sickle photo?
Do you reckon?
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Wouldn't you tell your boss that their eye cloud was
sinking to the phone that you were using?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
She probably assumed, so she's probably like, Oh, she's fine
with me seeing her entire life.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
To be fair, I went back through those photos on
Saturday and I was like.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Did you probably will get a labya plasty?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But also fuck did not want my twenty one year
old staff to look through it. She would be like,
is that what happens after birth? She's never having kids now,
she's terrified. That is the best contraception you ever need.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Everyone. Are you going to talk to her about it? No? No,
hr reasons.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
I think.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
I think you crossed some boundaries.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Like I've given her trauma, Like I've impacted trauma all
my staff.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I I just see how the conversation is gonna go to.
Would you like to come in and discuss the Laby.
She's like, I don't want to. I've seen things like
you do. Pay me more, Laura.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
If you remember a few years ago, there was this
meme that was trending that said there should be in
Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want,
Like fuck it, let's see how high humans can really jump.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
This has come in fruition. There is a new Olympic
Games happening this year. It has been confirmed and it
is called the Enhanced Games. What it is is literally
an Olympics on steroids.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Let's call it what it is exactly. It should be
called the Olympics on steroids.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
It is.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
It's literally the Olympics, but on steroids. Yeah, so this
is the brainchild.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Now, you guys might have seen this trending all over
the news in Australia at the moment because there have
been a lot of Australian athletes that have come out
and commented on it. It's the brainchild of this Aussie
businessman named Aaron Desuza. Now he has gone and got
venture capitalists backing from billionaires around the world. One of
them is like the PayPal founder Peter Thiel, who is
controversial in his own right, But they've basically thrown millions
(21:41):
and millions of dollars towards this. So some of the
richest people have been like, Yeah, we want to go
and see how far humans can go when they've got
these drugs behind them.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Now, this is a.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Wild statistic, but there was an anonymous survey done on
Olympians and forty four percent of those athletes anonymously admitted
to using banned substances. But the thing is, only one
percent of those athletes are getting caught, So only one
percent of being banned from the Olympics because they've been
caught doping or taking any sort of enhancement. But forty
(22:11):
four percent have said that they do it. Now, that's
nearly fifty percent of our Olympians. Because all of a sudden,
you look at the Olympics in a different light, because
you're like, this isn't a fair playing ground. What about
all these clean athletes that are training for four years
at a time for this one swimming race or this
one running race that are not going to have a
chance in hell because there are other athletes illegally doping.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yeah, but isn't there like a wild variation between what
constitutes a band medication, Like I'm pretty sure that they
can't use nasal sprays, for example, and that's the nasal
sprays verse taking steroids, huge caveat in between. So like,
I mean, I guess that those statistics could probably be
cut in different ways.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
But no, Britt has wanted to talk about this for weeks,
and I was like, like.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Oh, why how was it talking about the steroid Olympics
on life on cut feels like a fucking weird wedge
and it feels like a weird place to go.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
But anyway, this got me off the line.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
So James Magnuson, who was my co star Onancing with
the Stars.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
He's from Port mcquarie, where I'm from. Irrelevant information, but
also good to know. He's also an Olympian. He's a
decorated Australian Olympia. He's a decorated Australian Olympian.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
He's also in media, has been extremely successful in his
own right, but now he's a retired athlete and he
had something really interesting to say on this, and this
is kind of what swayed my opinion a little bit.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Yeah, there's a couple of things. Look first and foremost
is cash.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
You know when you sit around at the pub with
your mates and you say, what would you do for
a million bucks? I'd try and break world record from
million bucks. So that was the first things. I'm thirty
two years old, as far as my athletic peak history
says that.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
It's behind me. The enhanced game, say it's not. Let's
find out.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
Is this a genuine avenue for athletes post career to
continue their earning potential, to continue to perform at a
world class event. And the third thing entertainment. Sport is
about entertainment. Sometimes we get too caught up and take
sport too seriously and think that we're playing for life
(24:02):
or death.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Out there. Sports about entertainment.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
I want to see the fastest athletes in the world.
So far, that's been at the Olympic Games. We've gone
from test cricket to T twenty. We've gone from PGA
to live golf. We've got Ronaldo playing in the Saudi
League in soccer.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Who says this can't be the next live golf.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
After listening to this, I very much resonated with what
James was saying and the reason for that is is
because if you do look at the normal Olympics, and
I get that we have been conditioned to think that
it is the.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
And it is.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Obviously it's the fastest, the strongest, the most incredible athletes
that are alive of their time right, and they're all
setting records and breaking records and everything, and it's incredible
to watch. But I guess if it's this underground and
known thing that people within the Olympics are doing steroids
or they're taking enhancement drugs, and it's kind of that
taboo thing that no one talks about. It's shrouded in
(24:55):
so much shame and secrecy and scandal because it is
in essence cheating. And we saw it happen with Lance
Armstrong when it all came out that he'd been doping
the whole fucking dime.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Like scandal, scandal, scandal.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
What I think is interesting about this and having like
two very separate Olympics, is that if somebody signs themselves
up to play or perform in the Enhanced Olympics, they
no longer can do it in the normal Olympics. So
what it kind of does is that weeds out those people, right,
the people who want to take enhancement drugs are going
to be over here jumping higher than anyone's ever jumped,
(25:28):
and then the rest of them are going to be,
you know, going to the normal Olympics, And I guess
it kind of makes it a more even playing field.
And I mean, these are all adults who have full
agency of their bodies. They can decide what they put
into it, what they do with it. But I do
think it's interesting the backlash that James is receiving from this,
And there are a few commentators. One of them was
a NERL star Martin Lang, who has come out and
(25:50):
said that it's disgraceful, what a disgraceful example to set
for children.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
And aspiring young athletes.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And to that, I kind of think, why do we
always go back to this debate of like that they're children,
because and I'm not saying this to defend James by
any means, but like, it's not every single athlete's responsibility
for their entire life to do everything being held up
as like an inspiration for children. And I know that
it kind of comes with the territory, right, Like if
(26:19):
you're a professional athlete, then you are set any example
for children and you's like a very like camaraderie Australian
thing to do. But I also kind of think, okay,
these people are also doing it for their own financial gain.
The thing that sets this Olympics apart is that there's
going to be huge financial backing and a huge opportunity
to win incredible amounts of money. And what's been dangled
(26:40):
over Jane Magnuson's sort of, you know, the carrot that's
been dangled over him is that if he can set
a new record at the Enhanced Olympics, which is quite
a nice way of putting it, he will be up
for winning one point five million dollars, which is so
much more than anybody would have the opportunity of winning
it the normal Olympics.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
But when we think about I mean the so many
points I want to talk about, but when we think about,
you know, think of the children. What a bad example.
The guy's an Olympian. Naturally, he's not a bad example.
He's dedicated his whole life to training, to winning medals
for his country to get him where he is now.
He's at a point where he has an opportunity to
see how far he can go with help to win money.
(27:19):
He's not out there. He's not telling people to go
and shoot up. He's like when people like you're such
a bad example. He's not let out their party in raging.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
I mean, we don't know. He's not being that on
social media.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
But he's decided to, under medical guidelines, take something that
is and we don't know what it's going to be,
Like we don't know what enhancements people are going to take,
but under a complete medical team, like he said, he's
going to go to the US to do it properly
with people that this is their entire life. They dedicate
to knowing what to give an athlete to enhance them.
He's going to do it properly to see how far
(27:50):
he can push his body and also hopefully win one
and a half million dollars. Did you guys know the
average salary for an Olympian is like seventy five to
one hundred thousand dollars. Like they dedicate their entire life,
they have to train all day every day. I know
this firsthand because I actually know a few people that
have been Sea Olympics, and they all say it's impossible
to make money, Like you can barely live. You have
to beg sponsors to give you money to continue to
(28:12):
stay afloat so that you have the chance to go
and represent your country. We've had this conversation before with
the Women's AFL. We had Moana hope On saying she
had to give up the sport because she couldn't afford
to live the fact that now that they can do
what they have trained their whole life to do under
medical guidelines. So we're going to get into that in
a minute. I understand why people are going to be
tempted to do this. And as another Aussie Olympian, Lisa Jones,
(28:35):
who is so highly decorated, she's also come out and
said I get it, I'm for it. I'd love to
watch it if it's going to weed out people from
taking records from clean people and putting them into a
doping section where people know straight down the middle, you're
either in your clean Olympics or you're doping. As long
(28:56):
as it's not taking world records from cleaning people. So
once the doping people win their world record, as long
as in the Guinness World Record books, it doesn't wipe
that away like that too. Separate, very separate Olympics and
very separate records.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I'm sort of on board with it. Also sports entertainment, man,
imagine watching one hundred meter hurdles with someone on steroids.
That shit's going to be fire.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
But this is the thing, right, like steroids and steroid
abuse and steroid use has always been prolific. Like look
at Arnold Swarzenegger, for example. It is well reported now
that when he was at the absolute height of his
fame and his success, that he was on the juice.
But the thing is, he never would have omitted it
at the time. And I guess now knowing that retroactively
(29:39):
or retrospectively, they doesn't change anything. I don't know, And
maybe it's because we have been conditioned to think that it.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Is so shameful.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
And I'm not saying this as in like, I'm also
not saying this as like, think of the people on royds.
I don't have sympathy for them, but I do think
that we've created a system where if you are taking enhancements,
it is the deaf of cheating, and therefore it's the
cheating that's shameful. Right, So if you create an Olympics,
whether you take that away and people are allowed to
do and be and whatever you kind of like clean
(30:10):
cut that down the middle. Now, I think about this
argument of well, what example does that set for the children,
and I think that that is kind of like a
very base argument. The bigger argument that I worry about
and that I think we will probably see is this
conversation around privilege. Because if there is a huge amount
of money that's up for grabs, there will be people
who have money already, who come from Western countries where
(30:32):
they have access to the right type of medication, the
right type of doctors, the right type of sort of
supervision for this, and then there will be people who
will do these Olympics, this like enhanced Olympics, because there
is so much money at stake to be one, but
they're coming from a lack of privilege, a lack of money,
a lack of funding, a lack of resources. And I
think that that creates a power dynamic where those people
(30:55):
will be at risk because they will take a greater
risk to win because the winning means more to them.
And I think that that's probably the disparity that's going
to be created by these Olympics.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, I agree, but I also think to some level,
you have to have a level of privilege to be
in the Clean Olympics anyway, because nobody can train day
in and day out in a sport without having some
form of assistance. Now a lot of Australians I can't
speak around there the rest of the world, but you
have to have gotten to a certain level by a
certain age yourself, and then you can go to places
like the Australian Institute of Sport and you can get
(31:25):
scholarships that will help you from there. But I think
there's always some level of privilege anyway. But when we
turn to safety, because the next big conversation is safety,
you know, like this is so unsafe, people are going
to be having heart attacks and pushing themselves too far.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
And that's absolutely accurate.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
I think people probably will do that if they're not
doing it properly. But it's interesting what Aaron Desuzo, who's
the founder, what he says about it. He says, let's
be clear, drug testing is about fairness, not safety. Enhanced
Games aims to be the safest sporting event in the world.
At the Enhanced Games, we prioritize athlete safety first. In
partnership with top scientists and clinicians. We're developing a full
(32:03):
system medical pre competition screening protocol to protect athletes competing.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
In the Enhanced Games.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
What is saying is, and I'll summarize it because he
goes on for a long time. Basically, they're putting together
a whole lot of physiological tests heart, blood, cholesterol, and
they've got all of these levels that you can't be
above them, right, so they're still going to be a
level of safety. They're like, you cannot go and compete,
so we've done a full physical on you, and if
you are in a level that is not safe, we
(32:31):
won't let you compete because we're not going to risk you.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Going out there and having a heart attack.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
That testing isn't done in the Olympics, and it's not
done in most sports. The only testing that is done
is a piss test to see if you're on the drugs.
But they're not testing that you're safe to go and perform.
So in fact, if this is true, this will be
a safer sport because every athlete is going to be
tested before they go out.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
The counter argument to that, though, is so when someone
gets ruled out of the competition, it's because they've already
reached a level that is unsafe to them. So there
will be people that toppled over that that may be
then ruled out of competing, but they've already done that.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Abuse to their body.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
There are side effects from anabolic steroids like infertility, erectile dysfunction,
hair loss, severe acne, like there are other things that
can happen. I mean, I'm sure people are quite happy
to goff at some of those things in order to
win a lot of money. But I guess it comes
down to not just the short term effects that you're
having on your body to compete, but what are those
long term effects that you're having in your body which
(33:29):
people can't test for because it could be showing up
in a decade's time. Look overall, do I want to
see someone jump fucking four meters and you know, run
faster than Usain Bolt?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Yes, I would watch it.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Do I want my kids to be aspiring to be
doping athletes?
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Probably not, but also want to be yourn on.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Nope, I want to be a doping athlete, But I
also think that there's many other things that I think
we need to like protect the kids from, And I
think ultimately we do live in an age now where
there is this incredible push towards science based wellness and
this idea of like how far can you push your body?
I mean, there's people like Brian Johnston who've spoken about
(34:09):
I think we spoke about it on radio, so it
may not have been on the podcast, but we spoke
about He's this guy who's like fucking Edy's fifties or
sixties or something, and he's trying to find the fountain
of youth.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
He spends millions of dollars a year on having a
full team of people to reverse his age. He even
takes the blood from his sons to reput them back
in his body to try and hold onto his youth.
Like he's extreme, it's insane, but there is the technology
that's out there, and I think, you know, you can
fight the system, or you can swim with the river sometimes,
and I think in this instance, it is the base
of entertainment and it is swimming with the river, do
(34:40):
you know what I think? I think this is really
shocking right now, like everything is. When the world is
progressing and there is the first time for something, we're
breaking the rules for the first time. When marijuana became
legal for the first time in a country. It's so
shocking and nobody can get their head around the fact
that this could be the way of the future.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
But I think this will be the way of the few.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
And at the end of the day, people have autonomy
over their own body, and if they are making the
decision to put that into their body to do this,
who are we to stop them? And also, if it
is going to be making sport as we know it cleaner,
safer and fairer, and these individuals are making the decision
(35:21):
on their own, who will we to not watch it.
I'm going to get the popcorn, sit back and enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
I think it's probably the fear that people, too many people,
especially when there's no money to be made in the Olympics,
too many people will turn away from the traditional Olympics,
and that maybe this might become the benchmark rather than
the exception. Because at the moment, there's like nine hundred
athletes who have signed up across like nine hundred professional
athletes across the world who have put their head up
and said that they would consider for years, and you know,
(35:49):
some of them are retired, some of them are looking
for a way to get back into the sport where
they've made their money from previously, or their income from.
But also it makes me think, okay, and I know
that this might be a little bit of a tenuous link,
but hear me out. I think about drug testing and
pill testing at festivals, right, and the argument of like, well,
if you do pell testing at festivals, more people are
gonna do pills.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
It's the same argument.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I don't know whether it means that it's going to
result in more people doing it or or it's more visibility.
Maybe it will because I guess we do celebrate athletes,
and so therefore having someone who's winning the doping Olympics
would mean that they're more celebrated that I don't think
it necessarily means that it's gonna have this direct impact
on people wanting to take steroids. But you know, I
(36:32):
guess we'll have to wait and see there's enough. There's
enough people at the gym on creatine. Fuck, I've got
like four tubs of that in our cupboard at the moment.
Matt and he's protein and creatine.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Maybe Matt's going to sign on. You do need more
money for propagation. You do think about all the monsterios
I could buy. Guys, we have some fucking funny accidentally
on filters come through this week. This is where you're
writing your most embarrassing story, my favorite ones, where you're
actually living it, like you've written to us and you're like,
oh my god, this is happening to me right now. I've
(37:00):
locked myself in my bathroom.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
When you are thinking of us in your moment of crisis,
it's honors me.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
We feel connected to you, like a deep connection.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Okay, this one gave me a chuckle, and it reminds
me of something you told us at the start of
this episode. Laura, I see mistakes. It's got something to
do with Deli Meats. She was not at the Delli note.
I started a new job recently working from home, and
I love listening to audio books. Now while working in
the privacy of said home, I have been listening to
the Fifty Shades of Gray Books.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
I'm up to episode three. I also like to listen
to many other steamy stories.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
My boss just sent me a random email that said, HI,
just wanted to bring it to your attention that our
work issued laptops record everything All day long. My boss
had been listening to me listening to audio porn while
on workout.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Who is trying? Who is at home home?
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Minesthesis listening to fifty sh of Gray on a work
hours This chance of gray is fine, that's fine whilst working.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
I don't mind, no, because I was just thinking of
like my employee. I was like, if my employee was
working and cause.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
She's are only one, so I was like, if my
employee was at home working listening to porn simultaneously.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
Sorry, button boy, we have two employees now. Butter boys
in the corner being like, what am I ham sandwich?
Speaker 1 (38:23):
I mean like, I love porn, love audio porn, nothing
against that, But I don't think you can be working
and listening to porn.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Okay, I disagree because I do not think everybody needs
a bit of relaxation in their lives. I do not
think that Fifty Shades of Gray is pawn. It's just
a book. I think it is the most vanilla porn
that you.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Could ever read.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
And I think what's the difference been having a podcast
on in the background, verse listening to like an audiobook. Also,
if you're going to record your staff, at least tell
them tell them beforehand, don't tell them after that.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
Yeah, that's a whole nother not okay.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
No, you can't just have a secret squirrel laptop records
at home.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
It's so it's yes, it's actually like no, I'm not
okay with this. And also, why are you recording them?
Because they're working from home, so you want to make
sure that they're sitting in front of their laptop all
the time. Like there's so many layers of You're not
in the wrong here by listening to fifty shades of gray.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Your employees right are assuman, it's not video recording.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
I think it's just what's coming out of It's just
because it's a work laptop that's only supposed to be
used for work purposes. I'm assuming he just has access
to the work laptop, he's logged in and listened to
a porn That's my assumption. But yeah, i'd scream in legalities.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
I think there's some problems there.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Anyway, guys, all right, well that is it from us today.
Give you a little heads up on tomorrow's episode. We
are doing an episode all around anxiety. We're speaking to Anna,
the anxiety coach. It's been ages since we did a
deep dive on anxiety. It is something that I think
a lot of people will be able to get something
out of how to manage anxiety. Also, like the prevalence
of it, is it something that's increased recently, because I
(39:56):
think that there's so many more conversations around anxiety these days.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Is that nature?
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Is it what we're being exposed to, or is it
that we're more able to speak about it? I think
is a really interesting thing to unpack. Anna is a
complete expert in this topic. So if you or someone
in your life struggles with anxiety, this will be an
episode for you. Also, if you're single and you're feeling
anxious about it, because tomorrow is Valentine's Day, What a
day to have that on.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
Hey, we really skimmed over the fact that it's V
Day Tomorrow's. I just think Valentine's Day is such like
a crock of shit.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I say that, but like, I've never disliked getting a
present on Valentine's Day. But I agree with you, But like,
I don't expect a present, but if I have one,
I'm not going to be like, I can't believe you
got me a present. Like speaking of I've gotten Matt
nothing and I have not thought about it until you
never do And I'm really bad with presents.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
I'm really bad.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Why would you buy him a present on V Day
when you think it's a croc of shit that defeats
the whole purpose buying one next week just for the
sake of it.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
I know, I know, I just think.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
You know, you see everyone there at Woolli's at two
o'clock in the afternoon, who forgot to get a present.
They're getting a shit card and a sh flower, And
it's just like there's no thought, you know. And it's
not about not buying something from Woolies. That's not my point.
My point is is like, if you left it to
two o'clock in the afternoon to buy something on Valentine's.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Day, you might as well not do it at all. Anyway,
that's my rant. Yeah, wow, I'll still take it if
you buy at three o'clock. That's it from us, guys.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
You can go and follow us at Life on Cup Podcasts,
on Instagram, Facebook, join the discussion group, and you know
the drill.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
So your mum, teen Dad, Tea, Doug Tea, Friends and
Shanna Love because we love Love
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.