Absurd Truth: Jill Biden's Bizarre Christmas Tap Dancers

The White House films a weird tap dancing video to Jill Biden's 2023 Christmas decorations and it's full of characters. Also, a reminder that John Legend and Kelly Clarkson’s woke rendition of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is lame.

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. It'shis life mission to make bad decisions.
It's time for Florida man. Man. Some of these are wild today,
Like what is up? I gota guy over here selling forty pounds of
horse meat and all kinds of stuff, Like what in the world? All

(00:23):
right? First off, this dude, this Florida man, stole an ambulance
and took a police on a chasethat ended right literally in front of the
Sheriff's office, like literally pulled upin front of it. Yeah, that's
pretty convenient, Columbia kind of sheriff'soffice. The deputy was helping him,
helping ems with a patient who wasin an altered mental state, probably under

(00:46):
drug influence. The guy, thirtyfive year old Stanley Williams, got in
the ambulance and just drove away Sheriff'soffice is at some point it suffered tire
damage and it struck a curb andWilliams drove it under the entry literally right
into the entrance of the Sheriff's Operationscenter, like right into the interest,
like right by the flag and everything, like you know, the little garden
area in front of some of thisstuff, right up to the damn door

(01:07):
the whole ambulance delivery. Yeah itdoes. Actually it's like hello ems delivery.
Now. The sheriff's officers there wasno damage to its property other than
some of the cosmetic damage to thelawn. So they said, it's not
every day a pursuit ends at ourfront door. Nice, yeah, they

(01:30):
So the guy's got charges of grandthe ft, fleeing, and eluding all
pending. Uh do I want toget the guy at the horse meat because
Uh, we had one guy whochecked out of Walmart with literally the cashier
the cash register is not for sale? It does that have to be said?
He didn't buy it well? Orfor stealing that. It was eight

(01:52):
thirty on Sunday Walmart in Palm Coast, Flicker County sheriff said a Florida man
took the cash box out of aregister and legit walked out with it under
his arm. They don't know whohe is. He's balding, he has
a red shirt on. He's makinga stupid face. Yeah. Man,
the video of that guy driving thisrider for the Sheriff's office too. Can
I just come back to that fora minute? Was wild? That was

(02:14):
wild? Was it a woman driver? It was wild man. I've watched
I keep watching that videos on autoplay. I've seen it seven times.
It's just oh okay, So youguys are like, wait, tell us
about the horse meat. Okay,yeah, that was Uh. This guy
was busted for selling forty pounds ahorse meat. You can't do that,
it's like illegal. This was Ohgosh. This guy his mugshot says,

(02:38):
yeah, I did it. Itwas a horse meat sting in a home
deep oat parking lot, but MiamiLake stew got arrested on a felony charge.
According to police, they said ahorse had been slaughtered for its meat.
Police coordinated a set up to purchaseit from this dude, and he
got base at home man. Theinformant gave him five hundred dollars and he

(03:01):
got a large black plastic bag ofhorse meat, forty pounds of what they
said was illicit meat. Illicit meat. Add that to the list illicit meat.
They said that you can't sell horsemeat for human consumption unless it's clearly
stamped mark described as horse meat,et cetera, et cetera. It has

(03:21):
to be from a licensed slaughterhouse.So I guess is that a way to
make sure that I don't like.I just think that if you're buying unidentified
meat in a home depot parking lotin a black trash bag, then you
deserve what to whatever the hell happensto you. That's just like your penalty.
It's like a tax on stupidity.It's nature's tax on stupidity. You

(03:44):
know what I'm saying. Like,then you deserve whatever whatever happens to you.
Then let's see, that was anold man fight and underwear. Should
I say that for tomorrow? Becausethis is I mean its whitey tidies galore
and both old dudes screaming at eachother in the middle of the road in
underwear. We'll say that for tomorrow. The first Lady Now. Joe Biden

(04:15):
tweeted a video of this dance troupefrom New York showing off all of the
different White House decorations in all ofthe different rooms. Because normally I think
they put the tree in what likethe blue room. It's a big it
put the big, giant tree inthe blue room. And the way that
they we talked about this last weekwhen was it last week of the week

(04:36):
before when all the decorations went upand they said it was what was the
theme. It was something completely discombobulated. It's candy and magic and wonder that's
the theme. That's so dumb.I want to want to showing the people
on the simulcast. So they gottheir tap dancing a version of the Nutcracker

(04:57):
through the White House and there's aguy with a flowering head coming on.
There's this weird dude and it's firstoff, I'm going to turn into a
purist. The Nutcracker, nay tisnot tapped. And then it's this chick
in a blue dress and she justlooks like she I mean, I've used
a meme of this woman to She'sgonna be my response today for everything.
And then these people that are dressedup. I guess one is supposed to

(05:18):
be the flower Pedal, one issupposed to be the Nutcracker, one is
the toy Soldier. I mean,I don't know who the sugar plumb Fairy
is, but these people are tapdancing all through. It's just a little
cringe. I don't mind the showingoff the decorations. I don't like the
fact Nutcracker's not tap. I don'tdislike tap. I mean for kran out
lot. I had workshop with SavianGlovers to stop. Don't. I don't

(05:40):
mind it, but it's just whyremember I think I'm I'm bitter because of
all the flak that Malania Trump got. I hate the guy with the pedal
on his head. I want tohurt him. I want to push him
over. He's in these high watersand his block taps with this multicolored suit
on and he's got a flower onit. And then we got this one

(06:00):
chick dance with a candy cane.Okay, we get it, we get
it. Go ahead and mark upthe floor there. We're gonna have to
clean up the floor if you tappedall her. I can't deal. Am
I being too bitter? Can wetalk to me for a minute. Am
I'm still being so bitter about thisbecause I'm gonna be real. Every White
House Christmas was so basic, andMilania Trump came in and it was and

(06:26):
I just liked her decorations. Andshe they tried to go at her because
she had this one sound bite.It was like during a catastrophe. It
was like some kind of foreign policycatastrophe, and she was saying, nobody
cares about Christmas decorations right now,and everyone tried to make it out like
Wan is isolating this picture. Everybodytried to make it out like they were
that she didn't care about Christmas,when in fact, she was talking about
can we focus on more serious things? One throw that out there, because

(06:48):
this is gonna be my face toeverything for the rest of the year.
It's if you're watching the simulcast,it's just this lady. The way she
has her head tilted, it's tiltedback per perfectly to where she looks like
she's Danny DeVito bald. And Iguess that's supposed to be a face of
wonderment, but if Shriek had aface, it would be hers, and

(07:09):
she's I don't know. That wasjust it was just kind of cringe.
But anyway, Melania Trump comes inand she had these really cool red Christmas
trees. It was Gotha's all getout, man. I was as a
maximalist. I totally dug it.And then they like they trashed her.
They said, oh my gosh,your decorations are so kooky and not more
than this. This is stuff andnightmares. It's just cringe. It's basic.

(07:31):
Oh my gosh, you put outpeppermints. For Christmas? So original?
Can I just indulge me? I'vebeen so cool about this you guys,
now I can't be Look, we'regonna make our theme wonder and magic
and candy. That is so stupid. That's so stupid. What is that
about? That's not what Christmas isabout? Are you afraid to say it's
about Jesus? Because somebody who lovesa moss is gonna come and try to

(07:54):
behead you. I don't know whatdo you mean? Magic and candy and
wonder? All you can is cheapcandy because it's magic that you got it
in the first place. And you'rein wonderment at how bad Bidenomics is working?
Is that how this goes? Andthose the dancing the guy with the
pedal on his head, Man,I'm not going to get over that.
If I was in the dating pool, if I wasn't happily married, and

(08:16):
I found out that anybody I datedhad dressed up like that and danced like
that in a video, I woulddrop them like that boom be like no,
I'm sorry, this cannot go forward. This is done. I don't
care if there was a year putinto it. Done, can't do it.
It's over. No man should bewalking around in that kind of suit
with a flower on their head simultaneously. And you're wearing those shoes with no

(08:37):
socks. Those are block taps.You're wearing those with no socks. That's
so nasty. I can see yourankle hair. That's so gross. Nobody
wants to be seeing that. Shaveit. It's gross. I did say
that, Yeah, do it.I'm just real picky about this and I
got issues, man, So I'mjust I'm a little bitter because I felt
as though Milania Trump's decorations were reallygood and she got a lot of garbage

(08:58):
for it, and she shouldn't have. She didn't deserve getting a lot of
garbage for it. And they wereI probably, I think perhaps my favorite.
I can't even tell you what LauraBush's decorations were. Can you I
even know what her decorations were?What were her decorations? Nobody knows.
It's just gonna there's nothing wrong withthe Christmas point set that Dana says as
she has two point settas at theradio party later tomorrow. So don't you're

(09:22):
not gonna see him? Huh.Yeah, they are great. They're poisonous
to animals too. Don't let youdog eat them. Uh. But the
peppermint stuff and like the big giantplastic candy canes, how much you want
to bet that most of that stuffwas made in China, that they had
fest tuned around everywhere, just sayingso that came out. It just seems
a little tone deaf, especially afterthe hostages thing. It seems a little

(09:43):
tone duff am I right am?I being too bratty? Please let me
know. I just this has beenpent up for a week. I have
empathy. I mean, we dothe politic thing every day and this,
you know it, it all seemslike it's a show. And then you
go and you see this, andit's like it confirms it. It's all
a show. You know what,what would have been really good? You
know what their theme should have been. It should have been Oliver Twist or

(10:07):
you know better yet, No,it should have been tiny Tim from Scrooge.
That's what their themes should have been. Not screwed, not scrooged itself,
but just tiny Tim. That's whattheir themes should have been. Because
that's what they're making everybody feel likeacross the country. What a stretch day
now, But it's true. Thinkof it. Your grocery bill is like
almost one hundred dollars more expensive nowthan it was. It's so much more

(10:31):
expensive. I'm already doing like therewhen I was sitting down doing the Christmas
menu and all of this stuff andwhat we're gonna smoke, and uh,
what I'm gonna prepare, and becauseI am, I use uh. I
always keep notebooks of all my menusthat I make. I am mentally one
hundred and ten. I keep anotebook of like a notebook of all it's
a binder actually of all my pastlike menus and stuff. Because I'd like

(10:54):
to if this worked. I justwant to be able to do it and
not think about it. Pull itout, boom, it's done, and
it's less stress on me. SoI can actually enjoy time with my family,
and I know what works what doesn't, you know, don't. I
keep track of all of it,and sometimes I'll mark prices of like bigger
items, especially if we're having likea lot, if we're feeding a lot
of people, I'll put like amark of you know how much this was,

(11:18):
you know, and I'll probably putthe year with it. Dude,
it's so much more expensive this year, it is so much more expense.
It's I mean, it's been moreexpensive the past several years, but particularly
this year. Anyone who's telling you, like when I see them get up
there with bidonomics and they're telling youthat everything is so much more affordable where
they get and they groceries is whatI would like to know. Where are
they shopping because their policies have turnedAldi into whole foods for prices. Now,

(11:43):
I'm not knocking Aldie. There's somedeals to be had at Aldie.
All these not bad, but I'mtalking about prices. They have turned Aldi
into whole foods. Now, that'snot sustainable for most Americans. That is
not sustainable for most Americans. Idon't like to talk about charitable stuff that
we do because I'm very book ofMatthew about it, and I just feel

(12:05):
like it looks cringe and it's notwhy we do it, and I get
embarrassed even talking about it. Butwe just to illustrate the prices and the
difficulty people are having as a resultof this. We always, like,
whether it's through our church or throughdifferent food pantries, we always adopt families
for gifts and dinner and all ofthat stuff every year and there are so

(12:28):
many more families and there were.They actually did have a drop off with
one of the groups that we workwith, particularly for the groceries aspect of
it, because prices had got somuch more expensive. It actually through inflation,
it curtailed their ability to be charitable. Now, this is a very

(12:48):
interesting catch twenty two with the policiesthat this administration has, especially at this
time of the year, because oneof the things that people undertake, and
not just that you know around theChristmas season, but really all the time,
is the caring of others and thestewardship of other people through the means
that they have been blessed with,and that is spiritual edification. It's everyone

(13:11):
should have the ability to do agood turn because there is spiritual edification that
comes from that. And when youare your economic policies, which are directly
driving prices, when that has cutpeople's budgets and half and reduced their ability

(13:33):
to do both things, you arereducing their ability to pursue spiritual edification.
By sponsoring another family's meal, buyingtheir kids Christmas presents, doing all of
these things, it is one ofthe it's this is this spiritual dark side

(13:54):
of communism and statism. And Iwas talking with an email with a group
that we had donated. We donatetoo before and we work with them for
the meals for families, and theysaid, yeah, they they had some
more families that signed up, butthey said the thing that really got them

(14:16):
was that they had fewer people whowere able to come together middle class people.
These aren't just like rich people thatdo this. This is like people
of every socioeconomic status that do this. But they said that they had fewer
people doing it because there are alot of middle class, regular, average,
everyday middle class folks that out ofthe goodness of their heart, are
doing a good turn to their fellowman, and their ability to do so

(14:37):
has been greatly impacted by the economicpolicies of this administration. And I'm thinking,
I was thinking about this, thisis all happening yesterday, and I'm
like going back and forth an email, and I'm like, out of all
the baham bug things, you're kiddingme, you're kidding me. And that
was just I knew it, butto have it elucidated, to have that

(15:00):
articulated in such a way by someonewho works with these families every single day.
It was a new level of realization. Our friends over at Hillsdale College
went to wish you a merry Christmasand thank you for all of your support
for their amazing institution this past year. As you know, Hillsdale was founded
in eighteen forty four to offer theeducation needed to preserve civil and religious liberties,

(15:24):
and they hold true to that missiontoday, so their students are able
to pursue their academic studies and engagein really robust and good will academic debate
on all the issues that we're toldto you know, we have to be
brainwashed to discuss anymore. Today.They teach critical thinking, not critical race
theory at Hillsdale College. So theyhave a special video featuring their sacred musicquire

(15:48):
sing in a little town of Bethlehem. You can access that only at day
to four fo r Hillsdale dot com. It will definitely get you in the
mood this Christmas season. And againthey just want to thank you for supporting
their mission. And you don't haveto attend Hillsdale to take advantage of everything
that they have to offer. Whenyou go to Dana for Hillsdale dot com,
where you can see their choir singing. You can also access a ton
of free resources there, so youdon't have to be on their college campuses

(16:11):
to take advantage. You can beanywhere in the world. Just access it
at Dana four Hillsdale dot com andcheck out all of those free resources to
help you celebrate the season. That'sday of four fo r Hillsdale dot com.
And now all of the news youwould probably miss, it's time for
Dana's Quick five. So in footballnews, you guys are all going to

(16:32):
laugh at this, because I gota football headline for you. Bill Belichick
is going to leave New England Patriotsat the end of the season after twenty
four years in charge, following whatthey said. Oh that's hurts you.
It is surprising, okay, okay, yeah, well they said that it's
a disastrous runt. That's how itwas described as the US Sun said,
twenty four year run it ended,you know, they said, back to

(16:52):
back, losing the seasons. Buthe had all of the big successes though.
Anyway, Let's see, there's whatit's called the man pill, a
holy Grail male contraceptive that they sayis ninety nine percent effective and one hundred
percent reversible. Reversible and they aretrialing it on British dudes, but apparently

(17:14):
only when minority of men would takeit. And I don't blame you.
That stuff sounds. Don't be messingwith your junk like that, Like you
know what I mean? Like,come on. Supreme Court agrees to hear
a high stakes dispute over the abortionpill. CBS reports that the Supreme Courts
at Wednesday they're going to take upthe Biden administration's bid to maintain access to
a widely used abortion pill, markingthe first dispute involving abortion that the High

(17:37):
Court's going to hear since the overturningof Roe v. Weighed with the Dobbs
Versus Jackson Women's Help case previously.They said it was brought by a group
of doctors and medical associations, andthey said the outcome of the case could
have far reaching consequences. That thedrug is a pristone, that's the abortion
drug. Whether or not it canbe, who can obtain it, who

(17:59):
can prescribe all of that stuff,and whether or not you know when and
if it can be taken. Soit's going to govern all of that.
Boston may Or Michelle Wu which we'regoing to talk about here. Coming up
plans a no white holiday party formembers of the city council. The an
aid accidentally sent out a group emailinvite that meant only for electeds of color.

(18:19):
She actually sent that she sent itout only for people of color.
So that's so dumb. We're goingto talk about this. A homeless man
allegedly holds an Atlanta news crew hostagethreatened to shoot them. Ninety minutes later
cops show up. This is inGeorgia, Atlanta first news reporters and a

(18:42):
photo journalist. They were about togo live from a Sheriff's office parking lot
in Jonesborough, and they said theywere cornered by a drunk man who said
that he had a handgun. Now, they raised the alarm, but it
took, they said, ninety minutesfor police to respond arrest the suspect,
who's identified as a Brandon Logan,and they said that it took him ninety

(19:03):
minutes to respond. During the time, he made verbal threats to shoot them
if they did not order food orif they call law enforcement. That's according
to the judge in WSBTV. Itwas all happening in the courtroom. They
said, the victims attempted to leavetheir property, but because of his threats
and he acted like he had aweapon, they felt like they were being
held hostage. I would have rushedthem. I'm not gonna lie. I'd
a rush him and beat the absolutesnot out of them. I would rush

(19:26):
him, and I'd have beat himso bad like his generations back, three
generations deep in history would have feltit. But they it's like, if
they don't have you better produce.If you don't have a gun. If
they have a gun, they're goingto show it. That's just me,
right, that's just me. Ifthey have a gun, they're going to
show it. Anyway. They saidthat they they're still holding the investigation.
They said into the what they calleda breakdown in police communication. In fact,

(19:52):
one of I think this was theClayton County Sheriff's office. They said
that they they were there being investigatedalong with the Atlanta p least Jonesborough police
and maybe they'll find ninety minutes.That's that's way longer than the average nineteen
minutes. Stick with us. Wegot a lot more in store after this.
So, uh, what's the thingthat we we haven't really heard of

(20:15):
war on anything about War on Christmasthis year. But we have have heard
War on Christmas songs this year.We have already heard of that. So
everybody's always had a problem. What'swhat's the song that they've always had a
problem with Kane Baby It's Gold JiminyChristmas. Well, there's a new song
from John Legend and Kelly clarkson sidebar. I met John Legend once when I

(20:36):
was on Bill Maher's Real Time,and I've never met anybody who talks about
himself in the third person the wayJohn Legend does. We got along.
He was nice, but it wasyou know, he was nice, he
was civil. But when we wereintroduced, he goes, hi, I'm
John Legend, John Legend. Ashe shook my hand, I was like,
I heard you the first time.I mean, it was weird anyway.

(20:59):
So they have they redid the lyricsto baby It's Cold Outside Now?
Is this new? Did they dothis last year or was that another artist
that did this last year? Sothey have updated lyrics to this song.
I really don't want to play itbecause they'll probably sight us and then they'll

(21:21):
they'll try to demonetize us. WillYeah, So let me just can I
read to you what they Oh mygosh, I'm not going to sing for
you, but I am gonna I'llread this. This is so cringe,
So you guys know the lyrics.The baby it's called us. I really
can't say. It's cold outside.The evening has been so very nice.
Uh. And then they said thatdaddy's gonna be pacing the floor, So

(21:41):
really a better scurry, but maybejust to half a drink more? You
know, what will my friends thinkif I have one more drink? Now?
You know how that she sings herpart and the guy sings his part.
So when she goes, my momwill start to worry. He goes,
I'll call the car and tell himto hurry, and she says,
my daddy will be pacing the floor. And he goes, wait, what
are you still living home for?And she goes, so, really I

(22:03):
had better scurry, and he goes, your driver, his name is Murray.
And then she goes, but maybejust to half a drink more?
And he goes, oh, we'reboth adults, so who's keeping score?
And she goes, what will myfriends think? And he goes, I
think they should rejoice if I haveone more drink and he goes, it's
your body and your choice. Ohmy gosh, and she goes, I
ought to say no, and hegoes, then you really ought to go.

(22:26):
Oh, Beta exactly. Lorraine saysit came out in twenty eighteen.
How have I not heard this until? Oh? Because I don't listen to
trash, that's right. I likethe original. I like the brad Pack
stuff. I like Dino singing it. Yeah, she says it came out
in twenty eighteen. I like Dino'sversion. When Dino sings it, I'm

(22:48):
like, yes, Cash, DeanMartin is a gem? Was he not?
Like? Was he not just likea gift to America? He was?
Stop such a gift? And Uooh, we got some technical difficulties
right as we're getting ready to go, we got more. So if you're
watch it, if the Simulcash justdropped because we had a little bit of
a shutdown with some of the lighting. All right, So the Baby's Cool

(23:10):
Outside song though, so so.Lorraine says that that came out in twenty
eighteen, and I still was stillthinking it's I haven't heard it. Have
you ever heard this song? Idon't want to play it I'm not playing
it because I'll die. Can't tellyou how much I appreciate you for not
playing it. I love the originalsong. Can we please get back to

(23:33):
like dudes risking it for the biscuit? You know what I'm saying? Can
we do that? Please? Yougotta risk it for the Can we have
dudes that are like you know what, I'm gonna be like braggadocious with us
check I'm gonna. I'm gonna goand I'm gonna I'm gonna be a man.
You know I'm gonna. I Ijust gosh, it's just I can't
deal. All right, radio radioaudience, if we'd like, I don't

(23:56):
know if we want to do thatright now, you're gonna you know what,
I don't know if our radio audiencewill ever forgive me. This is
the new version? Here? Oh, this is a classic go here?
Oh this is the classic version.Okay, yeah, the classic version's great.
They'll probably still try to demonetize us. Baby, it's cold outs.
I baby, you can't go.It's cold outs. I baby, have

(24:18):
more drinks. Baby, I don'tthink the TV audience can hear. All
right, So let's change it uphere as we as we got yeah,
because we had a little bit ofa technical hiccup with the some of the
It was like, you know what, it was the universe saying, don't
you be playing that song girl.I'm gonna make it to where you can't.
That's what it was. Thanks fortuning in to today's edition of Dana

(24:40):
Lash's Absurd Tooth podcast. If youhaven't already, made sure to hit that
subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.