Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsored by Keltech.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It's time
for Florida Man.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
So when I first rid that this Florida man had
decorated his yard with the lamp from a Christmas story,
I thought, well, how big could it be? You'd be
surprised JP Mcallick's suburban Jacksonville, Florida home. It's twenty feet
tall and it even includes a replica of Ralphie hugging
(00:38):
the lamp wearing his pink bunny suit. It doesn't isn't
an inflatable because it really doesn't even look like it's
an inflatable. But he goes I like his response. He goes, quote,
everyone's decorating their houses, and I thought it'd be fun
to have like a neighborhood competition, and so he just
decided to put that up. He also, I mean, it's crazy.
(00:58):
He does not have what I would call traditional decorations,
but that's funny. So he's got the giant leg lamp
in his in his yard. I kind of like that, though.
I've been wanting to get a giant nativity and put
in my yard. But I want a giant Nativity like
a huge one. Some people in my household don't share
(01:19):
my vision. I mean no, but you know, if it's
all hard, I want like resin. Right, we gotta talk.
We got to save this for later because I've got more.
Hang on, I got more to get into. Let's see.
Oh my gosh, listen to this. A Florida man says
Delta Airlines burned his golf bag and clubs worth nearly
(01:41):
four thousand dollars. Oh and it looks real bad too.
I'm looking at the destruction of it. He said that
his golf bag was burned and everything was chard. I
don't even know how you burn because golf clubs are
what are they? Metal? Aluminum? Yeah, it was. This is
in October. He was on a flight from Atlanta. He
(02:03):
was waiting for his luggage at the Southwest Florida International
Airport and then he said when he saw it come
around again, he goes, wait, oh my gosh, those are
are those are my clubs? The freak guy said that
they dragged it and it wore through the protective covering,
started to spark, and then it caught everything on fire.
So he's filed a claim with Delta. Delta initially denied
(02:23):
the claim, and finally they said that they were going
to pay for it. But it was like for it,
I mean, and it looks bad. How do you drag
them and then spark That's just negligence, That's just laziness,
a negligence. I don't know how else how else you
attributed that? Look ill wnt showing you the photo. Look
at that. That's crazy. That's that's what they look like.
(02:46):
That's insane. Oh my gosh, let's see last, but not
at least a hey, hey, half naked Florida. Man, I'm
gonna have to show this tomorrow. Pile Mes broke into
a home, uh, only to steal the residents carpet planet.
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at preborn dot com slash Dana San Francisco has a
(04:10):
new government position. Do you hear about those? Yeah, it
is a consultant. I'm not going to play this whole
video because it's stupid. Uh, well, maybe I will. Actually,
this person is supposed to be the Chex's notes weight
(04:31):
stigma Czar. Mm hmm that Kane. Yeah, I want you
to tell me if the person whose image I just
placed in slack is qualified to be the Chex Notes
weight stigma Zar. Well.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Shoot, no, I almost went on a tangent there, but no,
Wan's gonna to be putting up a quick little video.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Of what is weight neutrality?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I think that's in space. Right, do you have note
you're weightless?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
We'll play this when he gets it. It's that ridiculous.
She's working with a team at the San Francisco Department
of Public Health. It says here, as a consultant on
weight stigma and weight neutrality, what is weight neutrality? What
is that? Is that a thing? You have a flag?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I guess if you're just neutral about the idea of
weight or extra weight, I you guess as good as mine.
But one's ready if you're ready.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh please, let's hear this. I'm sorry. Hi.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
My name is Virgietovor, and I'm the author of You
Have the Right Termaine Fat, as well as a few
other books on fat positivity and body acceptance. When I
think about what people might be surprised by, what you
would think when you think of eating disorders, I immediately
think of being a kid. I was a kid in
a larger body, a teen and a larger body. And
(06:07):
also I'm an adult in a larger body. And the
message I always got from my doctor was shrink your
body by any means necessary. And it really felt like
there was a sense of a don't ask, don't tell
so because I truly, truly, truly believed. And this is
where I think the surprise comes in. I really believed
that this was about my health. I really believe that
(06:27):
my doctor was right, because why would I believe anything.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Yeah, that's real, that's real, your doctor was right, and
it's not let's not do fat positivity. I don't believe
in fat shaming people unless you know that calls for it.
But people pointing out that your obesity is a comorbidity,
(06:53):
is a health issue. That's not people trying to be mean.
And I think people in just stopping victims, stopping a victim,
I mean, come on, seriously, it's I really don't understand this,
Like idea, was this a backlash to the heroin chic
(07:18):
of the nineties? Is that what we're living with? Still?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
What I don't get is imagine any other health concern,
you know, whether it's diabetes or whether it's just anything
health wise, would you encourage people to continue behavior that
would exasperate or make that health problem worse. Would you
do that? Would you affirm them knowing that it would
(07:42):
make their problem worse. Why would you do that?
Speaker 1 (07:45):
This when she says, you know, I have a right
to you know, you have a right to be fat
or whatever? You don't, And here's why after you don't
absolutely blank and do not. And here's why after Obamacare
pass and we all had to pay higher insurance premiums
to pay for people who didn't or couldn't want to pay. Oh,
I get to have a say and all of that.
So you don't get any rights because you invited my
(08:06):
tax dollars in and where my tax dollars go, I
follow with a boot in the door. That's what happens.
So no, I get to be involved in it. Yeah,
you don't.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
My body my choice.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
No, No, it's not my choice to pay your damn bills.
So it's not your body to make a choice of No,
if my money goes to it, I'm the boss of you.
I will make it. I will go and knock that
zinger right the hell at your hand, and I'll put
a carrot in its place. Okay, Oh, you want to
have a little You want to have a little Debbie's
fudge round, eat some cucumber or Brockley stop it. I
(08:42):
have a right too. I have a right to go
where my tax dollars go. And if you're sucking up
more of my tax dollars because you can't get a
handle on your weight, then that's a problem for me.
I shouldn't have to subsidize that. No one thought of
that when they were pushing for the expansion of Obamacare
and Jack Rising everybody jacking up everybody's premiums so that
we would have to pay for everyone else's care. So no,
(09:07):
and everyone's like, oh, Diana, look, I work really hard
to stay in shape, and I eat healthy, and I
do intermittent fasting, I do all of that stuff. I've
always worked out, I've always been athletic, I've always maintained
And it's not because a privilege just decided to you know,
(09:27):
a fairy godmother operated out of the ether and was like,
I'm gonna make you like this forever. It's you. Actually,
it's an effort, and I don't want to hear about
anyone else's problems or excuses. I don't care. Make the effort,
and don't expect me to pay your medical bills, because
that's the situation we're all in. And as a result,
no one can say that they have a right to
(09:48):
be this or that. Since you wanted, you asked for this,
we warned you. Don't say that we didn't warn you,
because we did. But back to my first question, what
the hell is weight neutrality? What is that? Like I'm
trying to imagine. So you know, we have a lot
of truckers that listen, God love them. Is that? Like?
(10:13):
When do they do that for the weight on your truck?
You know, like if you go in and you're your
way station and they're like, oh, you're a weight neutral
to a truck and they're load do they say that? No? Yeah,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I'm pretty positive No, I'm.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Just fascinated by I've never I'm today years old, I've
never heard of that phrase, the whole weight neutrality thing.
Right now, I will say this, I do think that
some chicks can go way too far the other way.
Like I always bring up Madonna as an example. She
at some point as you age, My grandmother always said,
at one point in her life, a woman has to
(10:55):
choose between her face or her body. Now I've already
told you guys, maybe I haven't been pubed. Look about it.
What my my goal is because everyone always thinks I've
never had plastic surgery or anything like that, for the love,
but I do have a plan to combat wrinkles when
it starts setting in. I mean, I got a little
bit here and there, but I got a plan. Anyone
know my plan. I'm gonna get fat. It's a natural filler.
(11:18):
I'm just gonna because I choose face. That's it. I
choose face because you can't hide ugly.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
That's why, Oh, do you have the right to be fat?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Then at that point, well, I'm gonna do it in
like a healthy way. I'm not gonna be like morbidly obose.
That's totally my plan, all right. My grandmother was like
and she said, the age is different. What she told
me was this. She was like, at some point in
her los a woman has to choose between face or body.
And I'm like, well, She's like, you won't know until
(11:51):
you get there. And then she looked at me and
she was like, I chose face. She was like, that's why.
She was like very products like, that's why I chose face.
That's why I don't have hardly no wrinkles. That's what
she would say. And I get it, so that's my jo.
That's my I'm kind of joking but not really. That's
my whole goal. But not like morbidly obese. Just you know,
(12:15):
I'm just saying it's all natural. Raal, Wait God, but
there's a difference. You don't want to be like like
visceral and tawny like Madonna. Right, I don't want to
see like your your ligaments and stuff like. I don't
you a woman should look like beef jerky, you know
what I mean, Like you're supposed to be soft. I don't. Don't.
Don't be brainwashed by these you know, fourth way fembots
(12:38):
into thinking that you can't have any fat on your body.
Women need it, and especially as you get older. You
know you're you need that extra especially if you get older,
because you know it helps you when you're an older age.
So anyway, I still don't understand what weight neutral is.
I'm gonna hear from every trucker who listens to us.
I am gonna get treaties on it. That's what's gonna
(13:00):
I'm got like big essays on it. I can't wait.
All right, we got we got a lot more to
come as we roll towards where are we at Oh
my gosh, are we already had headlines? Is this already
the third hour? I feel like Christmas is coming up
too fast? And anybody else think that I feel like
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Speaker 2 (14:33):
And now all of the news you would probably miss.
It's time for Dana's Quick five.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
This is actually crazy. The shocking toll of getting six
hours of sleep per night has been revealed in horrifying images.
It's a British betting and mattress company and they illustrate
what people might look like in twenty five years if
they regularly don't get enough sleep and they are a
(14:59):
nasty look and I mean they look like cave dwellers.
Let's be real, like they look like legit cave dwellers
with us. Their skin is saggy, they're all droopy, their
hair is like weird. It's just they look like gollums
from Lord of the Rings. It's one of the ones
gonna show you. I gotta I gotta wait for you
to see this. Check this is apparently now she looks
(15:21):
like she's on meth too. But they said, that's what
you look like if you're not going to get six
hours of sleep at night. Good heavens, why is she
punched over like that? Weird? Uh? So the uh let's
see the kids sold the Gyro kids sold at Sam's
Club is they have possibly tainted cucumbers. Why don't you
(15:46):
Why do you have to get a kit? But it's
called the Beef and lamb Utero Sandwich Express Meal Kit,
the Jayro Sandwiches. They said that the cucumbers are tainted.
Basically their Nancy. I love Sazeki sauce though. That's let's
see this Ooh. Daniel Penny was invited to be Jdvans's
(16:10):
guest at the Army Navy game this weekend. Good for him,
Good for him. The intermittent fasting. I disagree with us
the intermittent fasting that millions of people do, because I
do intermnt fasting. They said that it is driving hair loss,
and they said that they have researchers, but it's from
a university in China. So but they say that the
(16:32):
diet starves the cells of energy that they need to
encourage healthy hair growth. Okay, that's a lie, because I
do interminent fasting and I have more hair than known
on earth. I have an insane amount of hair. When
I cut my hair, everyone's like, oh, you removed your extensions.
I legit did not have to have any. I've never
had them. I just have that much hair. And I've
done INTERMNT fasting for a couple of years now. So
it's I don't believe that. I don't think I don't
(16:53):
think that's true. Jewelry thieves were arrested after an suv crash.
After they crash their suv and they tried to escape
on a row boat. Godly, this was in Port Gamble.
They tried to get away on a little bitty dinky rowboat. Nope,
it didn't work. They stole eleven thousand dollars in jewelry.
(17:15):
They were totally caught. It did not work and it
looked lame, and at one point it looked like the
boat was taking on water. I mean, they didn't get
very far at all, whatsoever. I mean then, I have
the brightest people, you know. Let's see, Oh, the world's
most expensive Christmas tree wasn't veiled in Germany. And it's
ten foot of solid gold and it's worth about five
million dollars and it's ugly as I'll get out. It's ugly.
(17:37):
It's made of gold coins. It's ten feet tall, it's
worth four million dollars and it's literally all Vienna Philharmonic coins,
twenty and twenty four of them. And it's it's a
twenty four carrot gold coin that sits right at the
top of the giant pyramid. It's not a tree, stop it,
(17:58):
it's a giant pyramid. So I don't know they wanted
to because they could. I guess you know what we're
all going to be into is we're all gonna be
turned into We're all gonna be chased down by giant
murder balls. What's gonna happen? Giant murder balls are gonna
chase this all down. China unveiled an all terrain spherical
RoboCop to chase down bludgeon and catch criminals using net
(18:22):
launching cannons, net launching cannons. This sounds like hysterical. Huh yeah,
I don't know how, but they and they and listen
to this. The beasts apparently They say they cannot only
stop crime, but they can somehow detect it too. I'm
(18:45):
not afraid of this because you know what can stop this? Right?
Forty five just saying I'm not afraid of this thing.
But they said that they're relatively unbreakable. They call it
the cop ball. It's a murder ball. They they have
net guns, tear gas sprayers, grenades, loud speakers with you
(19:05):
know what I'm really what I'm looking at is I'm
looking at a delivery service for free grenades and tear
gas and sprayers. That's what I'm looking at. You could
catch one of these things and take it apart, couldn't you.
I mean, theoretically we're talking about China. So I don't
have to worry about being nice about it. I don't
(19:26):
have to worry about it. It's a giant murder ball. Now,
some people thought it was a marketing stunt, but apparently
they're really actually trying to implement this thing. They wanted
to replace humans in dangerous instances. It weighs four tons well,
it said it can withstand a wapping four tons of impact. Uh,
and it's oh, it can go a whole twenty two
(19:47):
miles per hour. Great job China, your dumb murder ball.
We found a way to do more of the communism
with amotor ball. That's what this is. We're going to
spread the sickling Hammo with all my to a ball.
I just want to know where does it put the
grenades in that right? And does someone I guess what
(20:07):
if it gets hit with an EMP I still say
it's it's a thing of a grenade delivery unit. That's
what it is. Gives you some free grenades and stuff.
They said the wheels can be locked so it can
walk in a traditional way if it has to climb stairs.
I mean, it's a giant ball roll up them. I
don't know this whole thing. They said it's unstoppable even
(20:28):
in extreme weather, and they have they've been releasing video
showing at work. I don't know. I still I still
think the robot thing is the creepiest. The one that
the Tesla bot, that's the creepiest. But they've been rolling
them out. It's been in a it's only a couple
of areas. But they have these giant murder balls out there,
(20:50):
the Chinese murder balls. If you saw one of these, well,
first off, Kane say you haven't committed a crime. But still,
if you saw one of these like coming at you right,
what would your response be?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Get out of the way. Thing looks like it could
run over me.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
I mean it only goes twenty two miles per hour, yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I can only run like maybe eight or ten.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Yeah. But I feel like this is why everybody needs
a scooter or something, or like the ability to convert
your shoes into whatever works with the what what are
those what are the things with the stick?
Speaker 2 (21:23):
The go go gadget?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Will? No? I have one? I have a mini version
of one, and I can't think of any yes, like
a segue like your shoes can can? I just feel
like I could get away from it. I'd climb something,
or I'd shoot it. I don't know. I could get
away from it.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Yeah, you could definitely, and.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Then i'd take all that. I would literally strip it
for parts.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
I want to see it in action, actually doing what
it's supposed to do, like walking with cops down the road.
It's not an impressive display of what this thing can do.
I want to see it launch one of those what
do they say it had? What are those net things?
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Tear gas? It has done I'm looking at the list.
So it's got a tear it can disperse tear gas.
Built in net gun net gun. That's the stun gun.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Shooting the netgun at somebody and taking down this. I
want to see that. That's what I want to see
from this Chinese comy ball.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Murder Ball, murder comed It's a spherical RoboCop com murder
ball that sounds almost like a band name. I want
uh commy murder Ball. The robot is called Clone Alpha.
It's described as a muscular skeletonalandroid. That's the Clone robot
that they have, the aera humanoid bot. This was just
(22:34):
a giant ball of death in a Benny Hill kind
of way. It does look like a like it's like
a Benny Hill coop. I can't make fun of this
enough from China.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's
Absurd Youth podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
If you haven't already, made sure to hit that subscribe
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