Absurd Truth: Theo Von's Cryptic Mental Health Breakdown

Comedian Theo Von makes a cryptic shot at Israel when talking about his mental health on his latest episode of his podcast, “This Past Weekend”. Meanwhile, Amazon Prime has digitally removed the firearms out of James Bond’s hands from the key art on all the James Bond movies on its platform. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsored by Keltech.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It's time
for Florida man.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Okay, So I don't even know where to start with
this one. A Florida man was arrested after trying to
pay bail with an alligator he claimed was his lawyer.
This is an actual story. I'm not even I think

(00:38):
it is no. This is real. A forty two year
old man spark chaos with the Kindy jail. He stormed
in shirtless holding a live alligator, and he said his
gator had passed the bar by the way he had
but been booked. He was booked in with bond set
at seven thousand. The gator was safely released back into

(00:58):
the wild, but the deputies did have to wrestle him
down because he did try to climb over the desk
with the gator. They did confiscate the gator. He said
the alligator was his attorney. But the alligator's not licensed
and is not able to practice law because it's like
an alligator. Huh. He says he passed the bar. So
a friend of mine said, that's what you call a

(01:19):
litigator that I'm so bad that's so bad. We're it's
just we all just got shaken baby syndrome from that
and so bad. I really don't want to read this story, Kane,
the People's story. I don't want to click on the
link because I don't want to see any of it.
Did the dog make it? Kane? Well, no, I'm not

(01:40):
clicking it.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
From what I hear he did?

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Is he okay? Is he going to be okay?

Speaker 2 (01:43):
I think so, but that was what I read last night.
I don't know if there's any updates.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
You can give me the guy's name because I'm not
clicking this link. You know how I am with dogs.
So a protective pit bull jumped into shield a fifteen
year old girl from a Florida man, who then turned
around and hurled the dog off a balcony, second floor balcony.
So I'm okay, second floor, Maybe he can survive it.
I personally volunteer. I will pay to do this. Give

(02:10):
me thirty seconds at a locker room with him.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Penela's County Sheriff's office said the dog is expected to survive,
So that's what the story says. But yeah, I still
say death penalty.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
I am all in donating to the commissary, the Commissary
of any if there's any kind of prison justice that
takes place against this feller. Yeah, you guys know, I mean,
I'm sure somebody needs snacks and cigarettes and extra extra snickers, cigarettes,
whatever y'all need, you know, just saying, let's see. Oh
my gosh, the Florida man bought a twenty twenty five
land Rover Defender and then his guest tank exploded on

(02:45):
the interstate. The woman said her husband's defender caught fire. Wow,
it was a terrifying incident. Now he said he's never
going to buy a land Rover again. As a viral
video half a million views and they brand new driving
down to a Florida interstate and it shows it engulfed
and smoke and flames, fire consuming the sides, the undercarriage.

(03:05):
You know, he has to get out and it explodes.
That's kind of crazy, she said. The first attire blue,
and then the gas take exploded and then the whole
vehicle was consumed by fire, like within a minute. So
local the dealership offered to find them another Defender, but
they said, no, that's never happening. They apparently have a
history of fire related recalls. So in twenty twenty three

(03:26):
they recalled one a single one for a fire hazard.
But then there was another issue that had to do
with oil leaking into the exhaust manifold and others. And
then Jaguar land Rover had a huge recall last year
affecting over two thousand vehicles across six different SUV lines,
including the Defender that's from the Motor Authority, and that
involved the oil filter housings that could leak oil at

(03:50):
really high pressure into the engine bay and that creates
a fire risk. So they've had some issues. So they
said they that's kind of scary. Let's see in and no,
no d da, what do I want to do?

Speaker 3 (03:59):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (03:59):
No Dollar Tree? Oh why is the Dollar Tree? And
why is the grody dude from Dollar Tree in here? Twice?
Could you really want me to read this story? Melbourne, Florida,
of Florida man is accused of getting weird and pervy
with a lady in the Dollar Tree. He was expoth
in hisself and harassing her Blake Walker Jones. He was

(04:20):
totally arrested and a felony battery as well, and he
also has priors on this third Hour on the Way
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(05:25):
That's All Familypharmacy. Dot com slash Dana Coddana ten. Okay,
go ahead and give me this the ovon thing. What
is happening with the ovon? This is audio sound? Jeez,
audio sound by twenty three silver Play.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
I would never take my own life. I would never
take my own life. Okay, here, that is real. I
would never take my own Wait what. I'm grateful to
God for his grace in my life.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
I love my siblings, is Israel trying to get him respontive.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
So many friends and people that love me and people
that I want to see their children grow up.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
So apparently he's like on the Marjorie Taylor Green whatever
wavelength and all of this stuff. And I don't know,
Like I Lorraine was saying that he has been like
weaning himself off of his antidepressants, but Steve and I
couldn't figure out if he was trolling or trying to
make a joke. But it seems like I guess he

(06:34):
feels like he's got to bend the knee and be like, oh,
it's real. I don't know. Is that that seems to
be the vibe Kane.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
I think that there's a narrative of you know, people
that he listens to and that he's interacted with about
somehow Israel being behind taking out.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Charlie Kirk, and I think so stupid.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
I think he is. You know, he's just kind of
buying into that, and he mentions it in passing.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
He's buying into a conspiracy theory created by bunch of
grifters who just need to hop to one outrage lily
Pad and from the next outrage lily Pad so that
they can keep up the momentum. That's all.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
It is accurate.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
And I mean the fact that you have to have
turning Point actually release statements during a time when they're grieving.
I mean, these are people who were with him every
day and work with him and know him. To try
to like kick off some of these grifters who he
hadn't even talked to in a year, is so stupid.
And notice how they're all saying this without receipts. All
these people are running their mouths and they don't have
a single receipt. So I'm just this is what I
don't get from the left. They sit here and the

(07:32):
left right, I call them the woke right, because these
are all the people that make idols out of race
And I just think and ethnicity and sex and all that.
I think when you do that, you those are those
are That's literally that's a Marxist theory. In practice, that's
part of CRT critical race theory. Whether they are smart
enough to recognize it or not. That's like the Derek

(07:52):
Bell school of CRT. And he's the guy who first
and I've been writing about this for twenty years, he's
the guy who first introduced this to universities across the country.
Well maybe fifteen, not twenty. But the point of this is,
I don't they feel like they've got like Ben the
knee and to sale this stuff, especially like about you know,

(08:16):
Charlie and all of that. It's just a horrific posthumous hijacking.
People are trying to like pick apart his legacy and
use the crumbs to inflate themselves. There's no other better
way to put it. I just don't These are all
the same people that bitch and moan about a pack,
and that's the American Israel confab. They complain about a pack,

(08:39):
but then they are quite as church mice when it
comes to Katari money coming into the country, to the
tune of billions upon billions upon billions of dollars. It's
a serious problem. And of course, interestingly enough, the universities,
and we've talked about this quite at length, the universities
that receive the most funding from Cutter are the ones
where you get all of this this offs over our

(09:00):
anti Semitism and Jewish students that can't even walk into
the building to go to class. I mean, we've seen
like two years of this now. I feel like that's
a fair question. I get that some people they're on
this like anti Israel kick. I think some people do
it because they're actually Antisemites and they just don't like
Jewish people. I think some people do it because they

(09:21):
think it's cool to be contrariant and they really don't
know what the hell is going on over there. I
think other people to do it because everybody's so terribly
desperately trying to emulate Joe Rogan that they want to
be considered experts in an area. They want to be
considered experts in an industry in which they don't actually
have the depth in that particular of that particular issue

(09:41):
to be considered an expert on it or to even
talk knowledgeably about it. I think it's a lot of it.
The people that genuinely criticize, whether the way that the
government has responded or you know, et cetera. I think
that there's a difference between that and everything else that
I've said. But I feel like people like THEO Vaughn.

(10:01):
Can you tell me the difference between Benjamin and Yahoo
and Isaac Herzog? Can you tell me what Isaac Herzog does? No,
none of these people can even talk about how the
Israeli government is even structured. They can't even tell you
what policies have been passed since October seventh in terms
of Israeli security. They have no idea what the hell
they're talking about. Here's the issue. Do you honestly think

(10:22):
that these Islamis countries whose asses you all kiss, are
going to be nicer to you than anybody else over there?
You're so busy trying to lie pross straight before these
Islamis nations for what What is the purpose? Do you realize?
And I agree with Tommy Robinson. When you have Israel
falls to Jihatism, everybody's going to fall to Jihatism. Is

(10:45):
it better to have an ally over in the Middle
East to take care of some of this stuff so
that we don't have to send our loved ones to
do it and expend more resources to do it. Or
would you rather us just have to all do it
our sails over there and here. It's a strategy that
is realistic in the realistic world in which we live.

(11:07):
I would love to be hi aze kiite to some
of these jokers and buy into the kittens and sunshine
bs that we don't have to do any of this stuff.
But guess what, we don't get to control all of
the variables. Just it just it just blows the mind
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(12:11):
Dana sent you.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
And now all of the news you would probably miss.
It's time for Dana's quickfive.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
Wow, this is the headline. Kane always tries to find
me the most depressing stories, and to start out, I
think you just want to see the reaction. So this
dude is accused of decapitating a sea lion and putting
its head in a plastic bag. He says, they're all lies.
I really would love a pet sea lion. He says
that the government circulated a photo of him seeking to

(12:41):
identify a suspect accused of sign off a sea lions
head and carrying it away in a plastic bag. It's
the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's Fisheries lawn for COT league.
Could you shorten your department name? They released a photo.
They offered a twenty thousand dollars reward. He's like, he goes,
I didn't do it. I did not decapitate this animal.
He said he was at the beach with his daughter,
but there was a Monterey resident who said, I literally

(13:02):
saw you and your daughter, and you were leaning over
this thing, prodding it with a knife. So I don't know.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
He apparently told her we're just taking the head and
he wanted the skull, I guess to dry it. So
was it already dead or did he kill the thing
and then cut it out off, Because if he killed
the thing and cut its hat off, I'm all about
tying a giant stone to his feet and then throwing
him out into the bay all for that. So I
don't know. I just think people also need to chill
a bit, just to smidgeon. Let's see, poor sleep can

(13:28):
age your brain by a year, according to studies. But
what if you're a person who only needs like six
hours of sleep. I can't sleep longer than six hours
because then I feel like I'm being punished because I
just have to lay there and like I can't go
back to sleep. And it's like when you're a little
kid and you're told to go take a nap and
you lay there and you're like this, it's not happening.
For me. I'm not a napper, so I don't know

(13:50):
this is obvious though, healthy sleep blah blah blah. How
many more studies do you need? Google reveals home AI
that can see if your kids stay up past ped
time and it can even fit the dishwasher. Look at that.
It's exchanging surveillance for a favor. It's trying to buy
off your you just completely accepting surveillance with well, I

(14:13):
can fix the dishwasher. Also, I got some new gadgets.
Y'all like some gadgets, right, so you get surveillance for gadgets.
That's the big thing. That's why I don't like this.
The all the talking stuff on that I don't even like,
you know, Siri being on, it's weird. A pet owner
forced a driver to who killed his dog to dig
the dog's grave at gunpoint. Where's the problem? This is

(14:36):
a New York Post story, Alberto Hernandez twenty two. Yeah,
so I don't see what the I didn't see anything.
What what's the problem? Oh, speaking of hands, guys, I
looked this up because I did not believe it. I
did not believe this to be true, and it is

(14:58):
so Amazon has been removing firearms from the thumbnail images
of certain movies, particularly James Bond. James Bond films have
arrived today on Amazon, and everybody knows there's something strange

(15:22):
about them. See what's strange about these? Why are their
hands so weird looking? Look at how weird? Can you want?
Could you perchance zoom in on the Sean Connery one
or the Piers brazen in one, one of the two.

(15:42):
Some are worse than others. So you can find all
of the James and I like James Bond. You can
find all of the James Bond movies now on Amazon.
But there's something missing. What a weird looking hand? That's
because they took the gun out of it. They digitally
removed all all the guns from the James Bond films

(16:03):
and now they all have Wayne cans. You heard me,
I said what I said. It's weird looking. All of
them do. And they all have this weird which makes
their facial expressions even otter, especially Sean Connery's and Pierce

(16:24):
Brasnan's like yeah what and Sean Connery's is like yeah,
And it's just very odd. They edited all of the
Bond James Bond guns out of the posters because usually
it features them and they're always holding a weapon. But
now they're not so like doctor No, he's just there
with Wayne Can. I don't know how else to put it.

(16:45):
I'm not door. They explorer don't have any Babiesit your kids.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life.
So wait a minute, you're telling me that someone in
their bid to watch a guy go and murder recently,
all the baddies they're gonna be upset over the image
of a gun in the little avatar on the screen

(17:08):
the selection screen on Amazon. Did Tim Woltz come up
with this rule? Is this a Tim Wolfs thing? They've
always featured the leading actor holding a gun, and now
they're on Prime video, and now they're not. Now they
don't have the guns anymore. It is the dumbest thing

(17:29):
I've actually ever seen. It's so bad. This is so dumb.
I what's your license for? I just they all look gay.
Now they all look like a bunch of gay dudes
saying I'm actually not sorry, they all look like a

(17:49):
bunch of gay This is so dumb. I thought this this,
I thought it was a joke, and I looked it
up and it is true. It is a true thing.
So if you go on Amazon Prime and you're looking
at the James Bond, they all look like, well I
said what I said, I this is so? This is

(18:10):
this is I can't. Can't you got anything to add?

Speaker 2 (18:13):
Why God's name would I? Why would I.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
Not?

Speaker 2 (18:18):
At all?

Speaker 3 (18:18):
That?

Speaker 1 (18:19):
I mean, at least give them a canoli to hold
or something, you know, give some give one of them
a tennis on ice cream cone something. Yeah, I mean,
it's better than just a bunch of these posters where
they're just so bad. It's so bad. Why do this

(18:39):
to James Bond? Why? Why would they do this? So
all of them are are? I don't so.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
Did they get to get rid of him in the
movie too? Like they just just the thumbnail.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Huh, He's gonna nag you to death, that's what's gonna happen.
I don't, I can't, Yes, Steve, what are they trying
to prevent?

Speaker 3 (19:01):
My question? If you're already watching the movie, it's in
the movie, so like, wouldn't you isn't the thumbnail to
get you into the movie.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
It seems like they're doing like a reverse type of
thing here.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
These are brand new movies either.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, I don't actually know. That's a great that's a
great question. Are they gonna so he's just gonna just
be shooting air at them? I don't know. I'm very
confused by all of this. It makes me think of
that Godfather saying, look how they massacred my boy. That's
what I'm thinking of right now. Oh my gosh, this

(19:31):
is so bad. Oh my gosh, what are they gonna
do with like never never say never, like that one
where he's pointing like right, like, what are they gonna
do that I'm gonna do? This is so bad? Oh
my gosh. Can you just stop with the Bonds? Stop
messing with them? And Steve brings up a good point,
are you gonna be watching the movie and go, whoa,

(19:55):
how did the gun get in there? I wasn't. I
didn't think there was gonna be a gun in the
James Bond movie. I thought he was just gonna nag
the baddies to death. Just I don't know, shaken, not
stirred the whole new meaning. So I could go on

(20:16):
you did say the damn winkies, and on X you
did do that? Okay, I mean he's he's a he's
a spy and he uses lethal force to kill bad dudes.
So you wait, do you think it's insensitive to have
the gun? But then the killing is totally sensible, Like
what is what is the what are the the thought

(20:39):
Olympics that go through the head of the people who
are like, oh yeah, I gotta take the gun out.
That's just senseless. But the killing about that's in the
movie is totally senseful. It's just doesn't make any sense
to me. These people are so stupid. Oh my gosh,
what's happening. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana
Lash's Absurd Truths.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
If you haven't already, made sure to hit that subscribe
button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
M