August 13, 2025 • 45 mins
Dating Fails, Red Flags, and Relationship Disasters That Are Stranger Than Fiction
Cassie’s love life reads like a wild rom-com gone wrong: six engagements (only three accepted), one short-lived marriage, and dates that sound made up but aren’t.
From halfway house horror stories to recovering addicts and runaway relationships, nothing’s off-limits.
🎙️ Listen now for the chaos, comedy, and cautionary tales you didn’t know you needed.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
He looks absolutely nothing like his picture, so I
found out, the guy that I'vebeen dating is married with kids
.
His wife just reached out to me.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Welcome to the Meat Market.
The single scene is aslaughterhouse and we are here
to devour it.
We are your hosts.
I'm Lindsay, I'm Jess andtoday's sizzling single is
Cassie.
Welcome, hi.
So you've been engaged not once, not twice, not three times,
not four times.
Six times you've been engaged.
I've been asked oh, you've beenasked Okay, and how many times
did you say yes, three.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Three yeah, so you have a 50-50 chance.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yes, no there's two options.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
So have you walked down the aisle Once?
Once okay, yeah, that tooktherapy.
Did you keep all the rings?
No, no, no, what?
What's?
Did you keep any of the rings?
Only the one?
Speaker 3 (00:55):
that was that you got that you got married yeah, and
he refused to take it back.
So I was still gonna do likethe honorable thing and give it
back, but he's's like no, you,you endured enough of me.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
So this is your consolation prize.
Yeah, diamond, yeah, he's likehaunted, or?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
something Like he just didn't want to have any
memories.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
So how do you say no when someone proposes?
That would I, cause I'm toonice, I'd probably say yes.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Honestly, I think it's just like it was this
terrifying impending fear of mylife being tied to theirs for so
long.
I was like, oh, my god, uh, wedon't even like each other.
Like I would just start listingall the reasons we were wrong
for each other.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So then yeah, that was do you regret saying no to
any of them?
Um one but uh, you see the onewho got away he still had
problems.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Well, it was still not perfect, but it was like out
of the three that was the mostmentally stable out of them so
like maybe were they all likeofficial proposals, like got
down on one knee, did the bigthing um?
One was in a tiffany's, so wewent to tiffany's.
The whole store was shut down.
What, yeah, um?
(02:11):
And you said no, this man was asevere alcoholic and mentally
deranged and he already had fourkids like it was just like how
did it get that far, though?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
how did you get into the jewelry store?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
um, okay.
So he said it was just like formother's day and we're gonna go
look for some earrings ah, sohe bamboozled you.
Yeah, and then we're intiffany's and he's like we'll
pick out the one you want, and Iwas like the earrings we're
gonna, so I'm like, looking atthe earrings, thinking I'm
getting a pair of earrings stillconfused why we're in tiffany's
?
I'm like we could have goneanywhere else, it didn't matter.
But then he's like well, no, Iwanted you to pick something out
(02:46):
from here and I'm like theengagement ring section wow, how
awkward um, I was like we'renot even dating, like I didn't
even know we were dating, likeI'm confused here.
What's going?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
on so uh yeah so how long did your marriage last?
Only a year, yeah, yeah, um.
Was it you or him that wantedto go separate ways?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
um.
So first it was him.
He was like I just don't thinkthis is gonna work and I was
like, cool, fine.
So I moved out the very nextlike week, and he freaked out
afterwards because he realized,like all the things I did, um,
we had two dogs, I had my littlegirl, but like I kind of ran
the house and made sure, likeyou know, I did girl stuff for
(03:35):
the house.
And he's like, oh, I'mrealizing how much it costs for
a dog sitter, I'm realizing howmuch it costs to, like, get the
house clean.
I'm realizing all the smallthings you did.
And I'm like, well, until youfigure out, like the alcohol
isn't this bad, like I, I reallyjust don't see us being a good
spot.
And then he freaked out andhe's like, well, then, I just
don't want to do this at all.
And I was like, well, okay, um,and then he sold the dog and
(03:58):
sold the house he sold my dog.
I know sold the dog.
Yeah, it was a English creamgolden retriever oh, yeah, yeah,
those are they're cute, cutestlittle puppy so you're a teacher
.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Thank you for all you do.
I know teachers work so hardand don't get paid jack, so
thank you.
What grade do you teach?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
um.
So last year I got to haveseniors and I had them for two
years, so I had them as juniorsand seniors, um, and I teach at
a school where, like, athleticsis a big part of it, so I had a
lot of the athletes and it wasreally really.
Honestly, I was so spoiled lastyear, um, next year, this
coming in two weeks, I have justsophomores and it's like my
(04:38):
least favorite grade.
Why, um, honestly, sophomoreslump is real, really.
That is the grade statisticallywhere most kids drop out.
If you didn't know that.
I did not know that 10th gradeis like that breaking point and
that like real life decision.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
It's crazy to me how parents allow kids to drop out
of high school isn't it.
Yeah, like my parents wouldhave never allowed that You're
living under my roof.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
You live by my rules.
I were a teacher, I think highschool would be.
I wouldn't, I don't, I thinkthat would be my least interest
well, and they're so big.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Nowadays, the students are huge, aren't they?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
they're kind of intimidating I had one who was
six, five oh my gosh for thejayhawks now.
Wow so like big, big old boysyeah boys, but like still kids.
Like we're playing games onlinefor like a review game and they
get mad at each other becauseone of them got the parrot and
they all wanted the parrot.
And I'm like y'all are like 18and we're fighting over a parrot
(05:35):
, but okay, like like the bodyis full grown but the brain is
not developed yeah, like itdoesn't match, it's so that's
funny.
It's so like I have to remindmyself like, even though we'll
give a different name, johnny is, you know, six foot five and
280 pounds he still has, youknow have you had any students
(05:59):
say anything inappropriate toyou?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
students, students, students oh bless it say
anything inappropriate to you oract inappropriate?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
I usually shut it down pretty quickly.
In the older I've gotten, like,the more scared they are, so
I'll have kids that don't evenwant to speak to me.
So I think that's pretty fun.
Like I'll be like okay, well,you do need to respond.
He's like okay, because I'mspeechless.
Yeah, no, but um, it's gottenleast, it's gotten less and less
.
But like when I was reallyfirst starting off, like the
(06:28):
boldness the boldness, becauseyou're super cute.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I can imagine a lot of them.
Thank you, think they can, youknow, be a little cheeky and
naughty with you oh no, theyhave.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
And then I've said some clap backs that, thank god
you put them in their place.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, quick, good.
Yeah, no, what about parents?
Have any parents asked you out?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
uh, I think one did pat, like, but I didn't
understand that he was becausehe's like well, here's my
personal email, here's anotherlike he gave me like his phone
number email.
I'm like he just gave me fourdifferent ways.
Yes, like I was like one, four,three, what, what's going?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
on.
This is how you reach me ifyou'd like to send me a smoke
signal yes, and I it didn'tclock.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Oh, I was like man, is this kid really bad?
And the kid was really reallyquiet.
I mean he wasn't like thesmartest you know, nasa wasn't
gonna take him on anytime soonbut he wasn't bad.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
So I was really confused, but I think that's the
closest, yeah we had a teacheron previous and she had said
that statistically teachers it'sthe number one profession where
people cheat.
Do you agree with that?
Do a lot of teachers Do theyintermingle.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Where you teach Is there a lot of inter-staff
dating and sleeping together.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Well, I mean at a previous school, was uh, one
affair that ended up in amarriage?
Oh interesting and then um, Iwas seeing a co-worker at one
point okay but he was a lotyounger and I think I broke his
brain.
I think I did what's he?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
he was another teacher yeah, he's no longer
what?
No, what subject did he teach?
Speaker 3 (08:01):
He was a science teacher.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Science teacher Ooh lots of chemistry there.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Sparks are flying.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, no, apparently not what would your, if you were
to date a teacher, what wouldyou prefer that his grade be?
That he teach.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Maybe PE.
I was going to say PE.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
It's so funny because it just reminds me of her uncle
teaches PE or he did he'sretired now, but he was a PE
teacher.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
But I.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
He's retired now, but he was a PE teacher but I think
I would date the PE teacheralso.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
They always seem so fun and they're typically
athletic because they don't haveto make lesson plans.
They're like they are not.
They're not grading.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
No, that's what I would tell her her uncle all the
time.
I'd be like you have thegreatest life hack because it's
like you are getting paid toteach but you essentially don't
have to do any of the work thatthe teachers do but, you still
get the great benefits, you getthe retirement, you get all of
this.
And now he's retired and he hasthese like great retirement
benefits and he never had towrite a single lesson plan
(08:54):
because he was the teacher oh no, it was so annoying.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
We worked at the same school for two years.
I did middle school and thatthat is for like insane people,
if you want to like, if you wantto really find some people
middle school teachers.
He did middle school for 27years and I'm like, geez, this
is not for me like, but he wouldcome by and just like hang out
in my classroom sometimes andI'm like don't you have
(09:19):
something?
to do no papers to grade nolesson plans to write no nothing
no, I'm just kind of chillingand I'm like fighting for my
life in that class every twoseconds.
Like funny telling a kid not tomake a shiv out of a plastic
fork.
God no, it was so funny, I wasso jealous, but we do have a
(09:43):
family of like 16 teachers, ifyou all didn't.
Yeah, it's the family business.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Isn't there a story in the news?
There's a female teacher thatwas having inappropriate
relations with one of herstudents.
Did you hear that?
And she's in court now but herhusband's standing by her.
But in one of the voicemailsshe had, the student it's like
hey, we're gonna take all myhusband's money.
Did you hear this story in thenews?
And like in the voicemail she'slike planning on screwing over
(10:12):
her husband and enjoying thelife of the student.
And the husband heard this buthe's still sticking by her.
Interesting, you haven't seenthat in the news.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
No, I have not.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
She must have a really good retirement right,
right because you hear that allthe time in the news these
females you see females withmale students more than you see
males with females.
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
And my like, my thought process to that is like
where is he going to take you?
Like where are you guys goingon dates?
Like is mom picking you up inthe minivan?
Like what?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah, why?
Yeah, that's the thing.
I have a patient who client whois constantly telling me he's
like I want to come on yourpodcast, I want to come on your
podcast, I want a girlfriend.
I want a girlfriend and I'mlike, bro, you're 18.
Like where, what are you goingto do?
Like you can't even take a girlout for a drink yet.
Like no, I'm not setting you upon a date with somebody.
(11:02):
You can't even take a girl outfor a drink.
Like no, it's not happening.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
It's just weird to me that these women find these
kids like what's attractive.
You know what I'm saying.
Like don't you want a man?
Yeah, it's gross, yeah, anyways.
So tell us about some of thebad dates you've gone on.
I've heard you've had somepretty bad ones.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
I mean, it's just a plethora, the latest one.
So I tell my uncle, I'm like Ithink I'm going to do the
podcast.
Do you think someone willactually want me in a month?
Though?
Like what if I actually startdating someone?
And then we both laughed ateach other and he's like yeah,
no.
And I was like okay, my dreamswere high, so I go on this date
like with low.
I was like this is probably notgoing to turn out well.
Anyway, right, it may have beenmy mindset going into the date,
(11:44):
but then I got to the date andhe was a recovering addict,
didn't know that From heroin.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
God so you're like already, in this situation where
you're like, okay, this isgoing to go great, like does he
even have money to pay for thisdate, like you're slowly
traumatizing yourself and hejust keeps telling me more and
more.
And it's getting more and moreinteresting Because then I find
out he was a felon.
He just did six years and gotout a couple years ago.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yes, how did you find this out?
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Did he tell you yeah, but before then he was like you
know, I'm a personal trainer.
Now this is like I'm terrifiedof personal trainers.
Now I'm like are you?
But he's a personal trainersupposedly and he like does
kayaking and some other stuff, Idon't know.
It sounded interesting and Iwas like, okay, you know, like
we all have weird pasts.
And you found yourself and he'saround my age.
(12:38):
So I was like this is ageappropriate.
So after you're almost co-workersort of thing, who's a decade
younger than you, you're likemaybe I need to recalibrate.
Well, then it gets a littleweirder.
Because he's sober andrecovering, so he doesn't drink
alcohol at all.
So he wants to drink likenon-alcoholic beer.
So we have to go to a differentspot after dinner to drink a
(12:59):
non-alcoholic beer.
So he gets one and I get myusual drink, a mezcal, because
I'm a broken soul.
And then he wants me to pay forit, and I was.
I was really confused because hewanted to go get the other
drink.
But he's like well, mine onlycosts four dollars.
Oh my god really.
And I was like I'm sorry, Ididn't know that.
We were just going out to befriends.
If you would have told me Iwould have prepared better, I
(13:20):
apologize and he flips out on me.
And so I start apologizingbecause I'm confused and I'm
like well, I've always beentaught like men that's just kind
of my experience that I have isthat men provide if you, if
you're the one asking on thedate, you are the one paying.
So if you're the one asking togo here, you're going to be the
one paying.
So if I ask you, it means Ihave the intention of paying.
(13:43):
That's.
That's what kind of the familyrule has always been and kind of
the dynamic I've worked in, andhe kind of freaked out.
Well, then after that he's likewe go on this loop-de-loop.
I think I was gaslit, like nowI realize it now, but it was
confusing and then he startstrying to make out with me on
the corner in Tempe and I waslike I guess this is normal, so
I'm like trying to be okay withit and trying to like regulate.
(14:05):
Well, then afterwards he's likewould you like to like continue
to see me?
I was like, I think, like I'mstill confused about what,
what's all happened.
But then he's like, by the way,as we're driving to his place,
he's like, by the way, I havefive roommates.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
What, what?
Is he still living in thehalfway house?
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Yeah, like that was the question.
No, so then I'm like, wait, doI ask if it's a halfway house?
Is it not a halfway house?
Like so I go in there to usethe restroom and then the bar
stools are on top of the cabinetand I'm like this has got to be
a halfway like this is likethey were in for their
inspection or something.
So I'm like you know what?
(14:47):
I gotta, I gotta go.
It's just not gonna now.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I'm good, I'm now I'm good, so it was a house in
tempe.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
It was a house in mesa, so I was in the middle of
mesa, in the middle of nowhereso it legitimately was a halfway
house I guess I I have no clue.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
No clue, I just got out of there as fast as I could,
but at this, point.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I'm like man, what?
Why is this?
What keeps like?
What am I attracting here?
What energy am I bringing out?
But this is like online datingand that's why I was like you
know what?
We're cold turkeying this.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
We can't do this because I'm gonna end up with
another.
Are you still on the apps?
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
hell, no, no.
Did you have any goodexperiences at all?
Um, yes, but like after threedates, he ghosted me.
This was like tears and I wasso sad.
I was so confused.
That's so rude.
When people do that well, likeafter three dates, I'm like I
would at least like to haveknown what was going on.
You you know.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
At least say hey, you know I had a great time, but
it's just not going to work out.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Or I met someone yes, just like anything, right?
So instead I'm like left withthe emotional burden of having
to send out a.
It was great getting to knowyou, but I really would
appreciate it if you would havetold me otherwise how things
would have ended.
So blah, blah well you know,like?
Did you say that, oh yeah, Ialways send my goodbye text, my
best wishes, and did he respondno, you're having a nice life,
(16:03):
but mine is like so professional, like I'm always, like I'm
still hoping for your greatestgood.
I just would really encourageyou to maybe be more forthright
and like about the way you feelif you're not interested about
someone.
I think that's very like kindand I would really encourage you
to do that.
Like it's like the mom text,like it's not even mean so the
(16:23):
fact that you can't even respondto the guilty mom text, I'm
like really.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I don't get why people don't do that like.
It's so quick, easy, it doesn'ttake much to write a simple
text saying you know explainingand it's courteous, it's
considerate right it is, but younever used to do that.
After three dates maybe Iprobably would have said
something like oh, I'm just notready for a relationship.
I would have given a bs excuse,but I would have said something
, something, yeah, after threedays if it was after one date.
(16:49):
Yeah, I've not responded, yeah,but I think three dates.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It was confusing.
It was confusing.
I was like oh yeah, I thoughtit was going well.
Yeah, especially if you thinkit's going well, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Yeah, yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
His loss, not yours.
I was going to say people can'thandle conflict, confrontation
Like it's just, it's a thing,like people just can't, they
can't.
They're so scared of what theresponse is going to be that
they can't put it out there.
I guess.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
I think a lot of it is too like.
Like they want this idea thatthey still have options.
It's not even that they wantthe option, they want the idea
of options Like.
I never close the door on that.
So maybe I have an opportunityto say something I'm like, yeah,
I'm with social media.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
There are so many options out there.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I did see a post recently, though, that Tinder is
laying off a bunch of peopleLike they're doing, like a
massive layoff, because they'resaying that the dating apps are
like done like they're like.
No one wants to be on the appsanymore well, pretty much mostly
women it's.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
It's a decline in women well, most of our guests
aren't on the apps anymore.
That's why we started thepodcast, because people have
just done with the apps well,it's because it does feel like a
meA tea market.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Yeah, I'm like this is a nice tenderloin steak.
Oh, this is ground beef.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
This is a ribeye Like you're just like Well, and I
feel there are so many spamaccounts, there are so many like
OnlyFans models out there thattry to lure these guys in, and
then they're like they send themto their OnlyFans account and
ask them to pay, Right right,they're escorts.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Yeah, it's all about the money.
Money, yeah, well.
And and when you monetizesomething like that, like on top
of that, the app itself ismonetized and it works off of
like an algorithm for money.
So you start to get in thismindset that people are products
, and I think that's wherepeople are exhausted.
We're exhausted from datingbecause I'm tired of feeling
like a product, because I treatmyself like chan Chanel and you
treat me like I'm Timu.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
And it kills my feelings.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
You're not Timu, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Timu, you're Gucci.
Yes, I'm at least Lululemon onsale, okay.
So what do you do in your freetime?
What are your hobbies?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Most of mine center around my 11 year old diva.
What's her name?
Name's lily josephine.
That's a beautiful name, lilyjosephine.
I love that.
But she's gotten really intothe fact that we're from the
south and she, like, is tryingto embrace her southern hood.
I guess I'm like this is thisis way too close to being a clan
rally, lily like we gotta getback to like casual southern,
(19:17):
sweet southern, she like.
But I just want to know, likesweet tea and blah blah, and I'm
like I okay, if this is youridentity, this is your identity.
She's gotten into makeup now,so she's how fun, it's a fun age
.
It's really brutal becauseshe'll tell me what certain
things look like, so I'll put onan outfit and she'll be like
you look like cheese whiz andI'm like and I've never worried
(19:41):
this again.
So we went through like oh, asI'm moving, we've gotten rid of
so much of my closet becauseshe's just like giving me the 11
year old impression of what myclothes look like as a
millennial mom.
And it's been really, reallysobering.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Kids are the toughest critics.
Like they will just saywhatever.
Yeah, they will literallywhatever is on your mind mom,
your teeth are yellow.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Mom, you need to put your hair down, because you look
older when you wear your hairup, like they're so honest.
How old are yours?
Seven and eight, and thenGrayson is 14.
Okay, so you, you get it.
Then.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, they're so honest, but Iappreciate it, you know.
Okay, time to whiten my teeth.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Yeah, I'm like, okay, great, that's a new insecurity
unlocked.
I didn't realize that she'll belike.
You know, you realize you likebite the side of your cheek
sometimes and I'm like, didn't Ido?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
and then you're super like, hyper aware of it yeah,
so are you looking to getmarried?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
are you looking to have more kids?
What are you looking for?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
okay.
So I'm at peace with the amountof children the whole one I
have, with my financial likebeing a teacher.
You're like monetarily can Iafford another one?
But if my partner really wantedkids of his own, I'd be excited
about that.
I am looking for like amarriage, but I feel like people
(21:00):
hyper focus on that being whenyou tell people that I think
they they get in this idea oflike whoa, this is all going to
be business and serious and thatkind of like deflates the fun
out of it.
I kind of just want to datesomeone and then if we end up
getting married, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Kind of go with the flow.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Not like well, there's a plan, but it's like a
light blueprint.
There's nothing like at theseven-month mark we're doing
yeah, there's not this scarytimeline.
It's more like okay, we careabout each other and we're
progressing naturally in ahealthy, normal dynamic.
Because all of those marriageproposals were within under a
(21:38):
year.
So now I'm just kind of likeokay, if it's within six weeks,
that's probably not a good timefor him to ask me.
He should not ask me to marryhim in six weeks, like he
doesn't even know me yet yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
And then, like six months, still probably not a
good time Like so do you movereally fast in relationships
historically Is that sort oflike your pattern.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
I think that I moved at their pace and their pace was
always trying to hide something.
So like every time I've beendating now it's been with this
intention of like and we'reslowing things down.
But I do want like a cleartimeline, kind of like just some
safety.
Women just want safety.
We're not really difficultcreatures, honestly.
(22:21):
We're complex creatures butwe're not difficult.
As long as you make me feelcomforted and safe and you are
actually listening to what I say, we could probably actually
just be fine for the longesttime.
It's not difficult.
What are your deal breakers?
I'm sorry if you are in thehalfway house it's just not it's
(22:42):
just a no for me right now,Like I think you just need to
feel better about yourselfbefore we talk.
Yeah, so halfway houses areprobably a no Recovering addicts
I don't think we're on the sametimeline.
That was really stressful.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
That was a stressful day.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Like too stressful.
Yeah, if you hate kids, like Ithink that's really like if you
hate children, something's goingon here that you probably still
need to unpack.
Uh, hopefully you've been totherapy, that's probably like
you are, not?
You don't think therapy's forpant pansies?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
there's the p word I wanted to use therapy's becoming
quite popular now and a lot ofpeople like it when people go to
therapy, because it shows thatyou're doing the work on
yourself so you're in a betterplace to be in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
And you have to at least be open to it.
I mean, if you don't have awhole bunch of childhood trauma
to unpack, like I understand youdon't want to pay for therapy,
but like maybe you should justgo, like just to see what else.
Financially stable doesn't meanthat I want to be taken care of
, doesn't mean that I want to betaken care of, but if that is
your natural inclination, far beit for me to say anything Like
(23:49):
we can figure that out.
But it's not like I want to betaken care of in this this, this
way.
Like I have heard of horrorstories from the other end of
males dating women, wherethey're like she expected me to
buy her a purse on the first dayand the purse was like a Chanel
bag, like.
And then she expected to have aweekly allowance and I'm like,
were you dating a sugar baby?
(24:09):
Like I'm really confused here.
So that's definitely not mydesire.
But like I have my own job, Ido buy my own shoes.
I mean they are not Chanel, butI do buy my own shoes.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I'll be okay.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Are you ready for it?
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I'm ready for it.
The keep more minute brought toyou by tactical tax strategies.
They help you keep more in yourwallet.
We help you keep more in yourrelationship.
So we have listener questionfor this little segment that
took you by surprise.
In it she's like what are, whatare we ready for?
Oh, okay.
So the question this week isfrom social media.
It says he moaned his ex's nametwice.
(24:48):
It happened during sex, notonce, but twice.
He says it was an accident.
I say it's a psychologicalcrime.
What do I do with this?
Twice.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I don't know.
First time, maybe I'd let itslide.
The second time he's got tohave feelings for her.
Still, right, don't you think?
I wonder how long ago theybroke up.
She didn't say, right, no?
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, okay, if I'm the ex, he probably still is
moaning my name.
Sorry, same girl, same.
I'm so sorry, but like I okay,I think you actually at least
need to have a conversation ahundred percent because I'd be
worried that they're stillhaving sex together if he's
still moaning her name twice,like maybe they're still doing.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
That's the routine.
Are you still in the routinewhat's the routine?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
either that or she's still so heavily on his brain
that he can't get her out of hishead it's worrying and so it
doesn't necessarily mean that hehas feelings for her and it
doesn't necessarily mean thatthey're still having sex, but
there's something going on whereshe's still very heavy on his
mind, I think there's still somesort of emotional connection or
(25:57):
spiritual connection to thatand yeah you know?
but, like we always say,communication is key, so just
have a conversation or just saysomeone else's name the next
time you're doing it and see howhe responds.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Give him a little taste.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Be a petty betty like give him a little taste of his
own medicine or just be like,just be a touch toxic and like.
This is why why aren't youdating Cassie Cause?
You do this.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
One of his best friend's names Like right, right
, take it the next level.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
That's the next level .
I put us on the edge and youpushed us over.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yeah, I'm like oh, you love that Derek's hairline
isn't past his past, his cranium.
Oh yeah, okay, derek Derek's inthe lock now.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I'm now I'm gonna use derek's name, like that's
terrible.
So now we're going to discusscontroversial dating topics, oh
lord.
So first date sex is that stilla mistake or is that normal now
?
Is it empowering or are peoplestill judging?
What do you guys think peoplesay why buy the cow when you can
get the milk for free?
But you're not giving away themilk for free because we're all
just cows in the pasture, rightlike?
Is it still controversialnowadays to have sex on the
(27:07):
first date at our age?
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I mean, come on a little bit I it is still
controversial.
I feel, and I do think thereare situations going on, are
people owning it more?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
and yeah, I think, if you want to do it, just do it,
because what, how often do yougo on a first date and the
chemistry is there and you'resuper attracted to him and it's
great.
If you have the opportunity,like I, would jump on it,
literally, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
I'm sorry, I'm in my mid thirties, the wind blows and
I'm like, yes, so like, if Ilike you, like I have to like
you and have some sort ofemotional connection to even
want to do that.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
So if the breeze is blowing and you're funny, if
you're funny honestly, I'm, I'ma goner and we'll figure it out
later and I feel if a guy'sgonna judge you for doing that,
you don't want to be in arelationship with him anyways,
right?
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I feel like it's not as big of a deal as it used to
be, but I do feel like it doesstill raise the question of does
she do this with everyone onevery first date?
And by some reason does he dothis with everyone on the first
date.
So I do think there is stillthat piece to work through.
And then, and then, do youtrust the person when they say I
(28:19):
don't normally do this, youknow what I mean.
Before've never done this before, exactly exactly do you trust
that like, because if you'redoing it with me here on this
first date you know how many,how many others, it's true, have
you done this with?
So I think it's like it's kindof a double-edged sword, because
it's like do what you want, butalso realize that there is
(28:40):
still consequence.
Consequence and a little bit ofa stigma attached to it the
three-day texting rule.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
do people still follow that rule, Like, should
you wait three days?
Does that mean you're eagerbeaver if you don't wait?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
the three days.
No, I don't think there shouldbe a rule like that.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I think nowadays people are into loud looking
they call it, which is just, youknow, being very direct about
what you want, which I love.
So I think people aren'twaiting the three days.
They're just, you know, sayingwhat they want right off the bat
and not thinking too much aboutit, because that's so lame to
put rules.
And oh, I can't text her todaybecause it's only been two days,
you know like how lame is that?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
well, by that time, I think you've lost interest just
because of how quickly datingthat's actually a good point.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Three days is like so long nowadays with social media
.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yeah, I saw a video of this woman and she basically
she said um, she was like, ifyou're not texting me every day,
there's another man who is.
It's kind of true, it's likethat is kind of true.
Whereas, like if, if you are inthat space where you're dating
with intention and you aretrying to build something with
(29:44):
that person, if you're not intheir inbox in some way whether
it's a text or social media oran email or a phone call or what
like, whatever it is if you arenot in some sort of
communication with them everyday, there's probably somebody
else that is good catches aregetting inundated on social
media, whether it be instagramor Facebook or TikTok, with
(30:05):
messages.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Yeah, so yeah, if you wait, you snooze, you lose, you
snooze, you lose.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
I'm just by that time I'm like okay, well, this guy
was not interested, like, whyare we doing?
Speaker 2 (30:16):
this.
I take it as a sign ofdisinterest too.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Very true, okay, and moving forward leads you to
number three, playing hard toget.
Do people really want what theycan't have?
I feel like a lot of women do.
Like the chase, don't you think?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
yeah, I think both.
I think everyone likes thechase a little bit, don't they?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I don't know, I never really did, but then I feel
like it's double that show,because then the nice guys
typically do finish last, right.
So I don't know okay, whatabout sorry?
I was gonna say what about you?
Do you like the chase?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
so I, I I'm rooting for the nice guy.
Yeah, at this point in my lifeI've dealt with enough trauma
and enough bad boys to be likeyou know what, if you are a nice
guy, it's because you're strongenough to make sure everyone is
getting across the finish linebefore you do, and in the
bedroom you really do hope hefinishes last.
(31:08):
So, like that's what I'm hopingfor is be the nice guy, yeah,
and I would like a little chase,like maybe, maybe give me a
couple of hours of confusion,but I honestly I don't like
being confused and I think gamesare frustrating.
I think whenever anyone'splaying quote-unquote hard to
(31:29):
get it's frustrating juvenileand very juvenile yeah, and, to
be honest, I just don't havetime for it exactly, and why
waste time?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
if you like someone and they like you, just be
together.
Why play games?
Yeah, why prolong it?
Speaker 3 (31:40):
well, if you're playing a game, you're probably
gonna miss out on a date with mebecause I can't get childcare
then.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
That's funny.
We're done, sorry.
Should your partner have yourphone passcode, I don't see why
not.
I feel like if you have nothingto hide, why do you have to
keep it a secret?
Why do you get upset that theyhave your passcode?
You know, some people are veryterritorial and don't like it.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I feel like I feel like we've talked about this
before, because I said I need Ineed someone to have the
passcode to my phone so theyknow which pictures to use for
my funeral slideshow.
Like you know what I mean.
Like I need somebody to be ableto get into my phone so they
can go into my photos so that Ican have a bomb ass funeral
slideshow.
(32:22):
You want your way to look good.
Yes of course, Because myfuneral is going to just be like
a big party and it's like Ineed all I need my life, I need
my all, everybody to rememberall the great times they had
with me throughout my life.
And how is anyone going to beable to get those photos off my
phone if they don't have myphone passcode?
Speaker 1 (32:40):
But I'm sure, if, like you pass, like you can go
to the phone store and this hashappened, I'm sure it's happened
before why you, they, you cannow we're getting technical.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Can you be friends with?
Speaker 1 (32:50):
opposite sex?
This one, I don't know.
Can you?
People say you can, but I feellike one of them always wants
something more it's hard.
It's hard, but if you setboundaries, I feel like it's the
men that always want to bang.
The men always want more.
I think, like you say, you havea lot of guy friends and you
say they wouldn't, but Iguarantee they would?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I don't know.
The thing is, I'm very goodfriends with her uncle and he is
one person who I know I'm nothis type physically Like I know
I'm not.
I'm taller than him.
I'm not Asian.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Do you think they can be't know men and women?
Um, I, honestly all of the guyfriends that I've had in my life
really struggle to be my friendin a relationship and I think
that told me a lot about the waythey see me.
And, um, I think it's reallyhurtful because it's like oh,
you weren't my friend, youwanted to sleep with me, like
yeah, you have to try to sniffthat out.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
I feel like in the beginning, because it's that
intention or whatever.
But a lot of times I think youjust have to be careful and set
boundaries, because I do thinkthat it's a slippery slope into
the more than friends.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I do have one guy friend and we actually just kind
of use each other as emotionalsupport through dating and I
think that's the safe, that'sour boundary, like because he's
dating people.
But he'll ask me sometimes likeI don't feel like planning a
date and I'm like dude, that'syour job, I'm not dating her.
So like just reinforcing thatboundary and just being like
(34:23):
this is not a dynamic whereyou're going to get like free
emotional labor here.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Could you?
Speaker 3 (34:28):
date him.
That's a confusing slope.
It's a slippery slope Likethat's just like he's terrified
of children.
So I was like deal breaker.
Yeah, deal breaker, for sure.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I think you can only be friends with the opposite sex
if you're not attracted to themphysically.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
But I feel like one of the partners is always
attracted Physically attracted.
Yeah, ghosting Ever justifiedor always trash behavior.
Sometimes ghosting is self-care, they say.
Or is that just what toxicpeople say?
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (35:02):
That's just what toxic people say I think you're
a child.
You shouldn't be dating.
If you ghost people, yeah I?
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I agree, but devil's advocate, do you think some
people need to be ghosted, likethe really persistent ones that
just don't stop and you try togive them the hint and they
don't take the hint.
At some point do you feel youneed to?
Speaker 2 (35:20):
just I, think you need to stop hinting and be
direct and say please stopcontacting me, I will not spell
it out, I will not be respondingafter this point, and then you
can ghost and block or whatever.
Yeah, um, but I don't thinkthat just ghosting is ever an
okay thing to do treat otherpeople how you want to be
(35:41):
treated.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Liking old pictures on Instagram is that flirty or
being creepy?
I think that's creepy.
When you get like 250notifications from the same
person liking all your picturesand the pictures are like from
10 years ago, don't you findthat kind of creepy?
They're going through all yourold pictures.
I think that's lazy lovebombing.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
I think it's lazy love bombing too and it's a
little flirty because there are,I like, I mean, I got some good
pictures from a long time ago.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah, I know I was kind of cute, so like go through
my stuff You're like oh yeahthat was a good picture.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
It like kind of reminds me.
I'm like, oh yeah, like howcould I not?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
do that.
That is hilarious.
Do you owe someone honesty ifyou're just?
Speaker 2 (36:29):
having fun.
Do you really need a seriousconversation policy on this?
My policy is always honesty,like if I don't feel a
connection with someoneromantically, I am the first one
to say, hey, I don't really seethis going anywhere
romantically.
But like this is a really coolconcert we're at, or this is a
really cool concert we're at, orthis is a really cool food
truck festival you invited me to, I'm still open.
I am going to stay here andhang out by myself because I'm
(36:51):
here and it's fun, and so if youwould like to stay and hang out
with me, you are more thanwelcome to, but it's not a
romantic thing for me.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
I guess it's always better to be honest so that
you're on the same page.
Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
What do you think um?
I think it's more confusing forme when other people aren't
honest and that's that'sstressful because I'm like am I
infringing on your boundaries?
Am I disrespecting you with mybehavior in some way if we
aren't on the same page?
So like I'll casually be likeso are we like just chilling?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
is this like one time hangout, like it's not gonna
bother my feelings, but talkingto multiple people, normal or
shady, you're not exclusiveuntil there's a conversation,
right?
I think that you can talk to asmany people as you want until
you've had that conversation.
What are we?
What are we doing?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
right agreed yeah.
I I think it once again I'mjust a golden retriever trapped
in this angry little body.
So like I already have decided,like I have feelings for you
long, long before we've actuallyhad the conversation Right.
So I'm probably not talking toanyone the same way I'm talking
to you, but I don't think it'slike bad behavior to be talking
(38:00):
to multiple people.
It's just that it's something Ican't do.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Do you think people need to be honest about?
Hey, just to let you know I amtalking to other people.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
No, I think that's implied.
If you haven't had aconversation about exclusivity,
I think it's implied that you'reboth talking to other people.
And it's interesting because Isee all the time on the.
Are you in the?
Are we dating the same guygroup?
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
So all the time girls will be like, just started
talking to this guy, wonderingif he's talking to anyone else,
and it's like, yes, bitch, he'stalking to other people Like you
.
You, you literally just said Ijust started talking to him.
Why would he not be talking toother people?
And it's perfectly okay if heis.
And it's perfectly okay if heis.
Like, if you just startedtalking to him, clearly you guys
(38:43):
haven't had a conversation yet,that you're only dating each
other.
And if you haven't had thatconversation yet, like he's more
than welcome to talk to whoeverhe wants.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Yeah, last one is it okay to be friends with your ex?
I feel that if you're in a newrelationship, it's disrespectful
to be friends with your ex, butif you're single still and
you're okay with it, I don'tknow.
What do you guys think?
Speaker 3 (39:10):
I have one really close friend that is an ex and I
would be lying if I said thatthat relationship has blocked
probably some blessings in mylife.
You know what I mean.
Like you probably have blockedyourself by having that
friendship, so like settingboundaries there.
You can be cordial to them.
(39:30):
You can be like respectful, butdoesn't mean that you guys
should be like besties hangingout on weekends and I think it's
situational too.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
I think it depends on how deep and involved the
relationship was.
If it's an ex, quote-unquote ex, if it's someone that you just
went on a few dates with, youwere never really exclusive, so
you call them your ex becauseyou kind of dated but figured
out you were better as friends,I don't see a problem with that.
(39:59):
But if it's someone that youdated for you know, three, four
or five years, never had kidswith, never got married to and
it ended, I don't know.
I don't know why there's areason to still be friends with
someone that you had super,super, super deep romantic
feelings towards.
I feel like it just gets in theway.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
So now it's time for the celebrity cut, where we
marinate in the juices of thecelebrities.
So did you see that interviewthat Charlize Theron was on with
Alex Cooper from Call Her Daddy, did you see that?
So I always liked CharlizeTheron, but I fell in love with
her even more after thisinterview because she was very
candid, very real.
She was talking about how sherecently shagged a 26 year old
(40:43):
because she's 49 and she's likeyeah, I recently banged a 26
year old and it was fuckingamazing, it was fucking
fantastic.
She was just raw and real,which I appreciated, you know.
But Megyn Kelly you know, megynKelly, she slammed Charlize
Theron like just went off.
She was trashy and vulgar andinappropriate.
She needs to act.
Her rage.
She's one of the biggestcelebrities.
She needs to act like it.
Why does she need to act likesomeone?
(41:04):
She's not.
Why does she need to pretend to?
be someone why does she need tofilter herself?
Speaker 3 (41:08):
yeah, let her live her life right.
There are multiple malecelebrities that have dated 25
year olds and below right, soI'm really confused.
Is that just the doublestandard?
Speaker 1 (41:20):
exactly, and megan kelly said oh, also, I think
she's lying about the 26 yearold.
I don't think she did bang a 26year old.
Uh, what 26 year old male wouldnot bang charlie sauron?
I'm a married woman, straightwoman, and I would bang charlie
sauron seriously.
Why is that so hard to believe?
Speaker 2 (41:36):
I don't know yeah anywho I already need something
to talk about.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
It's true, yeah.
Where is your favorite place togo on a first date?
Speaker 3 (41:44):
okay.
So as this, when men aroundhere hear that like I'm in
scottsdale, they kind of getthis impression that you know
there's certain really weirdstandards.
But like minor family spots,this is so dumb.
But like Diego Pops is one ofmy go-tos, yes.
Or like I want to sit down andeat.
(42:05):
I love people that want to likeactually be able to multitask,
but I'm if I'm trying to playtop golf and actually look
decent, I'm not.
I'm not spending time actuallythinking about what you're
saying.
I'm gonna be honest.
So if I'm actually on a firstdate, it's like diego pops or
grimaldi's I love.
Or, um, just went to a placethe other day that was actually
(42:27):
really good the pear and the theperfect pear yeah, the perfect
place is delicious that grilledcheese sandwiches oh, I love a
good grilled cheese.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Do they put tomato on it?
They have a bunch of differentoptions.
Oh, they do, and uh evo hassome of the best choices.
Good, so like just, I don'tknow something like that now
it's time for zoyo intel,sponsored by zoyo, your
neighborhood yogurt.
So rapid fire questions toreally get to know you the best
or worst pickup line you've everheard, or a pickup line you
(42:56):
like to tell.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I okay, this one was so dumb, but it was like so I
just talked to future me and hesaid that today I'm talking to
my wife, when are we going?
It was something so dumb asthat.
Oh, that's kind of cute, Ithink it's kind of cute, yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Favorite body part on a partner I love hands, hands,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
What gives know I love hands, hands, yeah, what
gives you the ick like justgrosses me out, period um just
human indecency, like you arenot a decent human being, you're
not a good person.
It grosses me out?
Speaker 1 (43:26):
is watching porn considered cheating?
Speaker 3 (43:29):
what type of porn like where what?
Speaker 1 (43:33):
what am I maybe just regular?
Regular or porn is.
Is that cheating?
Speaker 3 (43:38):
I mean, if you're really bad at it and you really
need some techniques, you'retrying to go for it.
Let's just have a conversationabout it.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to
ask your date how many peoplethey've been with?
Speaker 3 (43:50):
I love the fact that you really are into counting
things.
You probably need to get tested, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Yeah, is it acceptable to have sex on?
Speaker 3 (44:00):
a first date sometimes you break rules.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Should you disclose mental health issues early on
ina relationship what do we callit mental health?
Speaker 3 (44:09):
like um, I think you should be honest and candid.
If it is going to affect thedating, like dynamics, you
should be candid and what isyour favorite sexual position
and why?
Oh wow save the best for last.
Um, honestly, I just like aman's body weight on me, I don't
(44:29):
know, like just crush me.
It doesn't matter the position,just I want to feel kind of
crushed.
I'm tired of being on top.
You guys are lazy.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Well, thank you so much for joining us this week at
the Meat Market, and thank youso much, cassie.
If you want to snag a date withCassie, go to at Meat Market
podcast on any of our socialmedia platforms and send us a DM
.
And thank you to our sponsor,tactical Tax Strategies.
If you want to keep more ofyour own wallet, you need to go
to Tactical Tax Strategies.
We'll see you next week at themeat market.
Oh my God, I just totally gotcatfished.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
He looks absolutely nothing like his picture, so I
found out, the guy that I'vebeen dating is married with kids
.
His wife just reached out to me.
Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
He looks absolutely nothing like his picture, so I
found out, the guy that I'vebeen dating is married with kids
.
His wife just reached out to me.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Welcome to the Meat Market.
The single scene is aslaughterhouse and we are here
to devour it.
We are your hosts.
I'm Lindsay, I'm Jess andtoday's sizzling single is
Cassie.
Welcome, hi.
So you've been engaged not once, not twice, not three times,
not four times.
Six times you've been engaged.
I've been asked oh, you've beenasked Okay, and how many times
did you say yes, three.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Three yeah, so you have a 50-50 chance.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yes, no there's two options.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
So have you walked down the aisle Once?
Once okay, yeah, that tooktherapy.
Did you keep all the rings?
No, no, no, what?
What's?
Did you keep any of the rings?
Only the one?
Speaker 3 (00:55):
that was that you got that you got married yeah, and
he refused to take it back.
So I was still gonna do likethe honorable thing and give it
back, but he's's like no, you,you endured enough of me.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
So this is your consolation prize.
Yeah, diamond, yeah, he's likehaunted, or?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
something Like he just didn't want to have any
memories.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
So how do you say no when someone proposes?
That would I, cause I'm toonice, I'd probably say yes.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Honestly, I think it's just like it was this
terrifying impending fear of mylife being tied to theirs for so
long.
I was like, oh, my god, uh, wedon't even like each other.
Like I would just start listingall the reasons we were wrong
for each other.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So then yeah, that was do you regret saying no to
any of them?
Um one but uh, you see the onewho got away he still had
problems.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Well, it was still not perfect, but it was like out
of the three that was the mostmentally stable out of them so
like maybe were they all likeofficial proposals, like got
down on one knee, did the bigthing um?
One was in a tiffany's, so wewent to tiffany's.
The whole store was shut down.
What, yeah, um?
(02:11):
And you said no, this man was asevere alcoholic and mentally
deranged and he already had fourkids like it was just like how
did it get that far, though?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
how did you get into the jewelry store?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
um, okay.
So he said it was just like formother's day and we're gonna go
look for some earrings ah, sohe bamboozled you.
Yeah, and then we're intiffany's and he's like we'll
pick out the one you want, and Iwas like the earrings we're
gonna, so I'm like, looking atthe earrings, thinking I'm
getting a pair of earrings stillconfused why we're in tiffany's
?
I'm like we could have goneanywhere else, it didn't matter.
But then he's like well, no, Iwanted you to pick something out
(02:46):
from here and I'm like theengagement ring section wow, how
awkward um, I was like we'renot even dating, like I didn't
even know we were dating, likeI'm confused here.
What's going?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
on so uh yeah so how long did your marriage last?
Only a year, yeah, yeah, um.
Was it you or him that wantedto go separate ways?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
um.
So first it was him.
He was like I just don't thinkthis is gonna work and I was
like, cool, fine.
So I moved out the very nextlike week, and he freaked out
afterwards because he realized,like all the things I did, um,
we had two dogs, I had my littlegirl, but like I kind of ran
the house and made sure, likeyou know, I did girl stuff for
(03:35):
the house.
And he's like, oh, I'mrealizing how much it costs for
a dog sitter, I'm realizing howmuch it costs to, like, get the
house clean.
I'm realizing all the smallthings you did.
And I'm like, well, until youfigure out, like the alcohol
isn't this bad, like I, I reallyjust don't see us being a good
spot.
And then he freaked out andhe's like, well, then, I just
don't want to do this at all.
And I was like, well, okay, um,and then he sold the dog and
(03:58):
sold the house he sold my dog.
I know sold the dog.
Yeah, it was a English creamgolden retriever oh, yeah, yeah,
those are they're cute, cutestlittle puppy so you're a teacher
.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Thank you for all you do.
I know teachers work so hardand don't get paid jack, so
thank you.
What grade do you teach?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
um.
So last year I got to haveseniors and I had them for two
years, so I had them as juniorsand seniors, um, and I teach at
a school where, like, athleticsis a big part of it, so I had a
lot of the athletes and it wasreally really.
Honestly, I was so spoiled lastyear, um, next year, this
coming in two weeks, I have justsophomores and it's like my
(04:38):
least favorite grade.
Why, um, honestly, sophomoreslump is real, really.
That is the grade statisticallywhere most kids drop out.
If you didn't know that.
I did not know that 10th gradeis like that breaking point and
that like real life decision.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
It's crazy to me how parents allow kids to drop out
of high school isn't it.
Yeah, like my parents wouldhave never allowed that You're
living under my roof.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
You live by my rules.
I were a teacher, I think highschool would be.
I wouldn't, I don't, I thinkthat would be my least interest
well, and they're so big.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Nowadays, the students are huge, aren't they?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
they're kind of intimidating I had one who was
six, five oh my gosh for thejayhawks now.
Wow so like big, big old boysyeah boys, but like still kids.
Like we're playing games onlinefor like a review game and they
get mad at each other becauseone of them got the parrot and
they all wanted the parrot.
And I'm like y'all are like 18and we're fighting over a parrot
(05:35):
, but okay, like like the bodyis full grown but the brain is
not developed yeah, like itdoesn't match, it's so that's
funny.
It's so like I have to remindmyself like, even though we'll
give a different name, johnny is, you know, six foot five and
280 pounds he still has, youknow have you had any students
(05:59):
say anything inappropriate toyou?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
students, students, students oh bless it say
anything inappropriate to you oract inappropriate?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
I usually shut it down pretty quickly.
In the older I've gotten, like,the more scared they are, so
I'll have kids that don't evenwant to speak to me.
So I think that's pretty fun.
Like I'll be like okay, well,you do need to respond.
He's like okay, because I'mspeechless.
Yeah, no, but um, it's gottenleast, it's gotten less and less
.
But like when I was reallyfirst starting off, like the
(06:28):
boldness the boldness, becauseyou're super cute.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I can imagine a lot of them.
Thank you, think they can, youknow, be a little cheeky and
naughty with you oh no, theyhave.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
And then I've said some clap backs that, thank god
you put them in their place.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, quick, good.
Yeah, no, what about parents?
Have any parents asked you out?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
uh, I think one did pat, like, but I didn't
understand that he was becausehe's like well, here's my
personal email, here's anotherlike he gave me like his phone
number email.
I'm like he just gave me fourdifferent ways.
Yes, like I was like one, four,three, what, what's going?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
on.
This is how you reach me ifyou'd like to send me a smoke
signal yes, and I it didn'tclock.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Oh, I was like man, is this kid really bad?
And the kid was really reallyquiet.
I mean he wasn't like thesmartest you know, nasa wasn't
gonna take him on anytime soonbut he wasn't bad.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
So I was really confused, but I think that's the
closest, yeah we had a teacheron previous and she had said
that statistically teachers it'sthe number one profession where
people cheat.
Do you agree with that?
Do a lot of teachers Do theyintermingle.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Where you teach Is there a lot of inter-staff
dating and sleeping together.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Well, I mean at a previous school, was uh, one
affair that ended up in amarriage?
Oh interesting and then um, Iwas seeing a co-worker at one
point okay but he was a lotyounger and I think I broke his
brain.
I think I did what's he?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
he was another teacher yeah, he's no longer
what?
No, what subject did he teach?
Speaker 3 (08:01):
He was a science teacher.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Science teacher Ooh lots of chemistry there.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Sparks are flying.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, no, apparently not what would your, if you were
to date a teacher, what wouldyou prefer that his grade be?
That he teach.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Maybe PE.
I was going to say PE.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
It's so funny because it just reminds me of her uncle
teaches PE or he did he'sretired now, but he was a PE
teacher.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
But I.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
He's retired now, but he was a PE teacher but I think
I would date the PE teacheralso.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
They always seem so fun and they're typically
athletic because they don't haveto make lesson plans.
They're like they are not.
They're not grading.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
No, that's what I would tell her her uncle all the
time.
I'd be like you have thegreatest life hack because it's
like you are getting paid toteach but you essentially don't
have to do any of the work thatthe teachers do but, you still
get the great benefits, you getthe retirement, you get all of
this.
And now he's retired and he hasthese like great retirement
benefits and he never had towrite a single lesson plan
(08:54):
because he was the teacher oh no, it was so annoying.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
We worked at the same school for two years.
I did middle school and thatthat is for like insane people,
if you want to like, if you wantto really find some people
middle school teachers.
He did middle school for 27years and I'm like, geez, this
is not for me like, but he wouldcome by and just like hang out
in my classroom sometimes andI'm like don't you have
(09:19):
something?
to do no papers to grade nolesson plans to write no nothing
no, I'm just kind of chillingand I'm like fighting for my
life in that class every twoseconds.
Like funny telling a kid not tomake a shiv out of a plastic
fork.
God no, it was so funny, I wasso jealous, but we do have a
(09:43):
family of like 16 teachers, ifyou all didn't.
Yeah, it's the family business.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Isn't there a story in the news?
There's a female teacher thatwas having inappropriate
relations with one of herstudents.
Did you hear that?
And she's in court now but herhusband's standing by her.
But in one of the voicemailsshe had, the student it's like
hey, we're gonna take all myhusband's money.
Did you hear this story in thenews?
And like in the voicemail she'slike planning on screwing over
(10:12):
her husband and enjoying thelife of the student.
And the husband heard this buthe's still sticking by her.
Interesting, you haven't seenthat in the news.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
No, I have not.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
She must have a really good retirement right,
right because you hear that allthe time in the news these
females you see females withmale students more than you see
males with females.
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
And my like, my thought process to that is like
where is he going to take you?
Like where are you guys goingon dates?
Like is mom picking you up inthe minivan?
Like what?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah, why?
Yeah, that's the thing.
I have a patient who client whois constantly telling me he's
like I want to come on yourpodcast, I want to come on your
podcast, I want a girlfriend.
I want a girlfriend and I'mlike, bro, you're 18.
Like where, what are you goingto do?
Like you can't even take a girlout for a drink yet.
Like no, I'm not setting you upon a date with somebody.
(11:02):
You can't even take a girl outfor a drink.
Like no, it's not happening.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
It's just weird to me that these women find these
kids like what's attractive.
You know what I'm saying.
Like don't you want a man?
Yeah, it's gross, yeah, anyways.
So tell us about some of thebad dates you've gone on.
I've heard you've had somepretty bad ones.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
I mean, it's just a plethora, the latest one.
So I tell my uncle, I'm like Ithink I'm going to do the
podcast.
Do you think someone willactually want me in a month?
Though?
Like what if I actually startdating someone?
And then we both laughed ateach other and he's like yeah,
no.
And I was like okay, my dreamswere high, so I go on this date
like with low.
I was like this is probably notgoing to turn out well.
Anyway, right, it may have beenmy mindset going into the date,
(11:44):
but then I got to the date andhe was a recovering addict,
didn't know that From heroin.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
God so you're like already, in this situation where
you're like, okay, this isgoing to go great, like does he
even have money to pay for thisdate, like you're slowly
traumatizing yourself and hejust keeps telling me more and
more.
And it's getting more and moreinteresting Because then I find
out he was a felon.
He just did six years and gotout a couple years ago.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yes, how did you find this out?
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Did he tell you yeah, but before then he was like you
know, I'm a personal trainer.
Now this is like I'm terrifiedof personal trainers.
Now I'm like are you?
But he's a personal trainersupposedly and he like does
kayaking and some other stuff, Idon't know.
It sounded interesting and Iwas like, okay, you know, like
we all have weird pasts.
And you found yourself and he'saround my age.
(12:38):
So I was like this is ageappropriate.
So after you're almost co-workersort of thing, who's a decade
younger than you, you're likemaybe I need to recalibrate.
Well, then it gets a littleweirder.
Because he's sober andrecovering, so he doesn't drink
alcohol at all.
So he wants to drink likenon-alcoholic beer.
So we have to go to a differentspot after dinner to drink a
(12:59):
non-alcoholic beer.
So he gets one and I get myusual drink, a mezcal, because
I'm a broken soul.
And then he wants me to pay forit, and I was.
I was really confused because hewanted to go get the other
drink.
But he's like well, mine onlycosts four dollars.
Oh my god really.
And I was like I'm sorry, Ididn't know that.
We were just going out to befriends.
If you would have told me Iwould have prepared better, I
(13:20):
apologize and he flips out on me.
And so I start apologizingbecause I'm confused and I'm
like well, I've always beentaught like men that's just kind
of my experience that I have isthat men provide if you, if
you're the one asking on thedate, you are the one paying.
So if you're the one asking togo here, you're going to be the
one paying.
So if I ask you, it means Ihave the intention of paying.
(13:43):
That's.
That's what kind of the familyrule has always been and kind of
the dynamic I've worked in, andhe kind of freaked out.
Well, then after that he's likewe go on this loop-de-loop.
I think I was gaslit, like nowI realize it now, but it was
confusing and then he startstrying to make out with me on
the corner in Tempe and I waslike I guess this is normal, so
I'm like trying to be okay withit and trying to like regulate.
(14:05):
Well, then afterwards he's likewould you like to like continue
to see me?
I was like, I think, like I'mstill confused about what,
what's all happened.
But then he's like, by the way,as we're driving to his place,
he's like, by the way, I havefive roommates.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
What, what?
Is he still living in thehalfway house?
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Yeah, like that was the question.
No, so then I'm like, wait, doI ask if it's a halfway house?
Is it not a halfway house?
Like so I go in there to usethe restroom and then the bar
stools are on top of the cabinetand I'm like this has got to be
a halfway like this is likethey were in for their
inspection or something.
So I'm like you know what?
(14:47):
I gotta, I gotta go.
It's just not gonna now.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I'm good, I'm now I'm good, so it was a house in
tempe.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
It was a house in mesa, so I was in the middle of
mesa, in the middle of nowhereso it legitimately was a halfway
house I guess I I have no clue.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
No clue, I just got out of there as fast as I could,
but at this, point.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I'm like man, what?
Why is this?
What keeps like?
What am I attracting here?
What energy am I bringing out?
But this is like online datingand that's why I was like you
know what?
We're cold turkeying this.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
We can't do this because I'm gonna end up with
another.
Are you still on the apps?
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
hell, no, no.
Did you have any goodexperiences at all?
Um, yes, but like after threedates, he ghosted me.
This was like tears and I wasso sad.
I was so confused.
That's so rude.
When people do that well, likeafter three dates, I'm like I
would at least like to haveknown what was going on.
You you know.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
At least say hey, you know I had a great time, but
it's just not going to work out.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Or I met someone yes, just like anything, right?
So instead I'm like left withthe emotional burden of having
to send out a.
It was great getting to knowyou, but I really would
appreciate it if you would havetold me otherwise how things
would have ended.
So blah, blah well you know,like?
Did you say that, oh yeah, Ialways send my goodbye text, my
best wishes, and did he respondno, you're having a nice life,
(16:03):
but mine is like so professional, like I'm always, like I'm
still hoping for your greatestgood.
I just would really encourageyou to maybe be more forthright
and like about the way you feelif you're not interested about
someone.
I think that's very like kindand I would really encourage you
to do that.
Like it's like the mom text,like it's not even mean so the
(16:23):
fact that you can't even respondto the guilty mom text, I'm
like really.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I don't get why people don't do that like.
It's so quick, easy, it doesn'ttake much to write a simple
text saying you know explainingand it's courteous, it's
considerate right it is, but younever used to do that.
After three dates maybe Iprobably would have said
something like oh, I'm just notready for a relationship.
I would have given a bs excuse,but I would have said something
, something, yeah, after threedays if it was after one date.
(16:49):
Yeah, I've not responded, yeah,but I think three dates.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It was confusing.
It was confusing.
I was like oh yeah, I thoughtit was going well.
Yeah, especially if you thinkit's going well, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Yeah, yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
His loss, not yours.
I was going to say people can'thandle conflict, confrontation
Like it's just, it's a thing,like people just can't, they
can't.
They're so scared of what theresponse is going to be that
they can't put it out there.
I guess.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
I think a lot of it is too like.
Like they want this idea thatthey still have options.
It's not even that they wantthe option, they want the idea
of options Like.
I never close the door on that.
So maybe I have an opportunityto say something I'm like, yeah,
I'm with social media.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
There are so many options out there.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I did see a post recently, though, that Tinder is
laying off a bunch of peopleLike they're doing, like a
massive layoff, because they'resaying that the dating apps are
like done like they're like.
No one wants to be on the appsanymore well, pretty much mostly
women it's.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
It's a decline in women well, most of our guests
aren't on the apps anymore.
That's why we started thepodcast, because people have
just done with the apps well,it's because it does feel like a
meA tea market.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Yeah, I'm like this is a nice tenderloin steak.
Oh, this is ground beef.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
This is a ribeye Like you're just like Well, and I
feel there are so many spamaccounts, there are so many like
OnlyFans models out there thattry to lure these guys in, and
then they're like they send themto their OnlyFans account and
ask them to pay, Right right,they're escorts.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Yeah, it's all about the money.
Money, yeah, well.
And and when you monetizesomething like that, like on top
of that, the app itself ismonetized and it works off of
like an algorithm for money.
So you start to get in thismindset that people are products
, and I think that's wherepeople are exhausted.
We're exhausted from datingbecause I'm tired of feeling
like a product, because I treatmyself like chan Chanel and you
treat me like I'm Timu.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
And it kills my feelings.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
You're not Timu, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Timu, you're Gucci.
Yes, I'm at least Lululemon onsale, okay.
So what do you do in your freetime?
What are your hobbies?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Most of mine center around my 11 year old diva.
What's her name?
Name's lily josephine.
That's a beautiful name, lilyjosephine.
I love that.
But she's gotten really intothe fact that we're from the
south and she, like, is tryingto embrace her southern hood.
I guess I'm like this is thisis way too close to being a clan
rally, lily like we gotta getback to like casual southern,
(19:17):
sweet southern, she like.
But I just want to know, likesweet tea and blah blah, and I'm
like I okay, if this is youridentity, this is your identity.
She's gotten into makeup now,so she's how fun, it's a fun age
.
It's really brutal becauseshe'll tell me what certain
things look like, so I'll put onan outfit and she'll be like
you look like cheese whiz andI'm like and I've never worried
(19:41):
this again.
So we went through like oh, asI'm moving, we've gotten rid of
so much of my closet becauseshe's just like giving me the 11
year old impression of what myclothes look like as a
millennial mom.
And it's been really, reallysobering.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Kids are the toughest critics.
Like they will just saywhatever.
Yeah, they will literallywhatever is on your mind mom,
your teeth are yellow.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Mom, you need to put your hair down, because you look
older when you wear your hairup, like they're so honest.
How old are yours?
Seven and eight, and thenGrayson is 14.
Okay, so you, you get it.
Then.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, they're so honest, but Iappreciate it, you know.
Okay, time to whiten my teeth.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Yeah, I'm like, okay, great, that's a new insecurity
unlocked.
I didn't realize that she'll belike.
You know, you realize you likebite the side of your cheek
sometimes and I'm like, didn't Ido?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
and then you're super like, hyper aware of it yeah,
so are you looking to getmarried?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
are you looking to have more kids?
What are you looking for?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
okay.
So I'm at peace with the amountof children the whole one I
have, with my financial likebeing a teacher.
You're like monetarily can Iafford another one?
But if my partner really wantedkids of his own, I'd be excited
about that.
I am looking for like amarriage, but I feel like people
(21:00):
hyper focus on that being whenyou tell people that I think
they they get in this idea oflike whoa, this is all going to
be business and serious and thatkind of like deflates the fun
out of it.
I kind of just want to datesomeone and then if we end up
getting married, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Kind of go with the flow.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Not like well, there's a plan, but it's like a
light blueprint.
There's nothing like at theseven-month mark we're doing
yeah, there's not this scarytimeline.
It's more like okay, we careabout each other and we're
progressing naturally in ahealthy, normal dynamic.
Because all of those marriageproposals were within under a
(21:38):
year.
So now I'm just kind of likeokay, if it's within six weeks,
that's probably not a good timefor him to ask me.
He should not ask me to marryhim in six weeks, like he
doesn't even know me yet yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
And then, like six months, still probably not a
good time Like so do you movereally fast in relationships
historically Is that sort oflike your pattern.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
I think that I moved at their pace and their pace was
always trying to hide something.
So like every time I've beendating now it's been with this
intention of like and we'reslowing things down.
But I do want like a cleartimeline, kind of like just some
safety.
Women just want safety.
We're not really difficultcreatures, honestly.
(22:21):
We're complex creatures butwe're not difficult.
As long as you make me feelcomforted and safe and you are
actually listening to what I say, we could probably actually
just be fine for the longesttime.
It's not difficult.
What are your deal breakers?
I'm sorry if you are in thehalfway house it's just not it's
(22:42):
just a no for me right now,Like I think you just need to
feel better about yourselfbefore we talk.
Yeah, so halfway houses areprobably a no Recovering addicts
I don't think we're on the sametimeline.
That was really stressful.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
That was a stressful day.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Like too stressful.
Yeah, if you hate kids, like Ithink that's really like if you
hate children, something's goingon here that you probably still
need to unpack.
Uh, hopefully you've been totherapy, that's probably like
you are, not?
You don't think therapy's forpant pansies?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
there's the p word I wanted to use therapy's becoming
quite popular now and a lot ofpeople like it when people go to
therapy, because it shows thatyou're doing the work on
yourself so you're in a betterplace to be in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
And you have to at least be open to it.
I mean, if you don't have awhole bunch of childhood trauma
to unpack, like I understand youdon't want to pay for therapy,
but like maybe you should justgo, like just to see what else.
Financially stable doesn't meanthat I want to be taken care of
, doesn't mean that I want to betaken care of, but if that is
your natural inclination, far beit for me to say anything Like
(23:49):
we can figure that out.
But it's not like I want to betaken care of in this this, this
way.
Like I have heard of horrorstories from the other end of
males dating women, wherethey're like she expected me to
buy her a purse on the first dayand the purse was like a Chanel
bag, like.
And then she expected to have aweekly allowance and I'm like,
were you dating a sugar baby?
(24:09):
Like I'm really confused here.
So that's definitely not mydesire.
But like I have my own job, Ido buy my own shoes.
I mean they are not Chanel, butI do buy my own shoes.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I'll be okay.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Are you ready for it?
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I'm ready for it.
The keep more minute brought toyou by tactical tax strategies.
They help you keep more in yourwallet.
We help you keep more in yourrelationship.
So we have listener questionfor this little segment that
took you by surprise.
In it she's like what are, whatare we ready for?
Oh, okay.
So the question this week isfrom social media.
It says he moaned his ex's nametwice.
(24:48):
It happened during sex, notonce, but twice.
He says it was an accident.
I say it's a psychologicalcrime.
What do I do with this?
Twice.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I don't know.
First time, maybe I'd let itslide.
The second time he's got tohave feelings for her.
Still, right, don't you think?
I wonder how long ago theybroke up.
She didn't say, right, no?
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, okay, if I'm the ex, he probably still is
moaning my name.
Sorry, same girl, same.
I'm so sorry, but like I okay,I think you actually at least
need to have a conversation ahundred percent because I'd be
worried that they're stillhaving sex together if he's
still moaning her name twice,like maybe they're still doing.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
That's the routine.
Are you still in the routinewhat's the routine?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
either that or she's still so heavily on his brain
that he can't get her out of hishead it's worrying and so it
doesn't necessarily mean that hehas feelings for her and it
doesn't necessarily mean thatthey're still having sex, but
there's something going on whereshe's still very heavy on his
mind, I think there's still somesort of emotional connection or
(25:57):
spiritual connection to thatand yeah you know?
but, like we always say,communication is key, so just
have a conversation or just saysomeone else's name the next
time you're doing it and see howhe responds.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Give him a little taste.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Be a petty betty like give him a little taste of his
own medicine or just be like,just be a touch toxic and like.
This is why why aren't youdating Cassie Cause?
You do this.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
One of his best friend's names Like right, right
, take it the next level.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
That's the next level .
I put us on the edge and youpushed us over.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yeah, I'm like oh, you love that Derek's hairline
isn't past his past, his cranium.
Oh yeah, okay, derek Derek's inthe lock now.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I'm now I'm gonna use derek's name, like that's
terrible.
So now we're going to discusscontroversial dating topics, oh
lord.
So first date sex is that stilla mistake or is that normal now
?
Is it empowering or are peoplestill judging?
What do you guys think peoplesay why buy the cow when you can
get the milk for free?
But you're not giving away themilk for free because we're all
just cows in the pasture, rightlike?
Is it still controversialnowadays to have sex on the
(27:07):
first date at our age?
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I mean, come on a little bit I it is still
controversial.
I feel, and I do think thereare situations going on, are
people owning it more?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
and yeah, I think, if you want to do it, just do it,
because what, how often do yougo on a first date and the
chemistry is there and you'resuper attracted to him and it's
great.
If you have the opportunity,like I, would jump on it,
literally, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
I'm sorry, I'm in my mid thirties, the wind blows and
I'm like, yes, so like, if Ilike you, like I have to like
you and have some sort ofemotional connection to even
want to do that.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
So if the breeze is blowing and you're funny, if
you're funny honestly, I'm, I'ma goner and we'll figure it out
later and I feel if a guy'sgonna judge you for doing that,
you don't want to be in arelationship with him anyways,
right?
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I feel like it's not as big of a deal as it used to
be, but I do feel like it doesstill raise the question of does
she do this with everyone onevery first date?
And by some reason does he dothis with everyone on the first
date.
So I do think there is stillthat piece to work through.
And then, and then, do youtrust the person when they say I
(28:19):
don't normally do this, youknow what I mean.
Before've never done this before, exactly exactly do you trust
that like, because if you'redoing it with me here on this
first date you know how many,how many others, it's true, have
you done this with?
So I think it's like it's kindof a double-edged sword, because
it's like do what you want, butalso realize that there is
(28:40):
still consequence.
Consequence and a little bit ofa stigma attached to it the
three-day texting rule.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
do people still follow that rule, Like, should
you wait three days?
Does that mean you're eagerbeaver if you don't wait?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
the three days.
No, I don't think there shouldbe a rule like that.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I think nowadays people are into loud looking
they call it, which is just, youknow, being very direct about
what you want, which I love.
So I think people aren'twaiting the three days.
They're just, you know, sayingwhat they want right off the bat
and not thinking too much aboutit, because that's so lame to
put rules.
And oh, I can't text her todaybecause it's only been two days,
you know like how lame is that?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
well, by that time, I think you've lost interest just
because of how quickly datingthat's actually a good point.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Three days is like so long nowadays with social media
.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yeah, I saw a video of this woman and she basically
she said um, she was like, ifyou're not texting me every day,
there's another man who is.
It's kind of true, it's likethat is kind of true.
Whereas, like if, if you are inthat space where you're dating
with intention and you aretrying to build something with
(29:44):
that person, if you're not intheir inbox in some way whether
it's a text or social media oran email or a phone call or what
like, whatever it is if you arenot in some sort of
communication with them everyday, there's probably somebody
else that is good catches aregetting inundated on social
media, whether it be instagramor Facebook or TikTok, with
(30:05):
messages.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Yeah, so yeah, if you wait, you snooze, you lose, you
snooze, you lose.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
I'm just by that time I'm like okay, well, this guy
was not interested, like, whyare we doing?
Speaker 2 (30:16):
this.
I take it as a sign ofdisinterest too.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Very true, okay, and moving forward leads you to
number three, playing hard toget.
Do people really want what theycan't have?
I feel like a lot of women do.
Like the chase, don't you think?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
yeah, I think both.
I think everyone likes thechase a little bit, don't they?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I don't know, I never really did, but then I feel
like it's double that show,because then the nice guys
typically do finish last, right.
So I don't know okay, whatabout sorry?
I was gonna say what about you?
Do you like the chase?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
so I, I I'm rooting for the nice guy.
Yeah, at this point in my lifeI've dealt with enough trauma
and enough bad boys to be likeyou know what, if you are a nice
guy, it's because you're strongenough to make sure everyone is
getting across the finish linebefore you do, and in the
bedroom you really do hope hefinishes last.
(31:08):
So, like that's what I'm hopingfor is be the nice guy, yeah,
and I would like a little chase,like maybe, maybe give me a
couple of hours of confusion,but I honestly I don't like
being confused and I think gamesare frustrating.
I think whenever anyone'splaying quote-unquote hard to
(31:29):
get it's frustrating juvenileand very juvenile yeah, and, to
be honest, I just don't havetime for it exactly, and why
waste time?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
if you like someone and they like you, just be
together.
Why play games?
Yeah, why prolong it?
Speaker 3 (31:40):
well, if you're playing a game, you're probably
gonna miss out on a date with mebecause I can't get childcare
then.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
That's funny.
We're done, sorry.
Should your partner have yourphone passcode, I don't see why
not.
I feel like if you have nothingto hide, why do you have to
keep it a secret?
Why do you get upset that theyhave your passcode?
You know, some people are veryterritorial and don't like it.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I feel like I feel like we've talked about this
before, because I said I need Ineed someone to have the
passcode to my phone so theyknow which pictures to use for
my funeral slideshow.
Like you know what I mean.
Like I need somebody to be ableto get into my phone so they
can go into my photos so that Ican have a bomb ass funeral
slideshow.
(32:22):
You want your way to look good.
Yes of course, Because myfuneral is going to just be like
a big party and it's like Ineed all I need my life, I need
my all, everybody to rememberall the great times they had
with me throughout my life.
And how is anyone going to beable to get those photos off my
phone if they don't have myphone passcode?
Speaker 1 (32:40):
But I'm sure, if, like you pass, like you can go
to the phone store and this hashappened, I'm sure it's happened
before why you, they, you cannow we're getting technical.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Can you be friends with?
Speaker 1 (32:50):
opposite sex?
This one, I don't know.
Can you?
People say you can, but I feellike one of them always wants
something more it's hard.
It's hard, but if you setboundaries, I feel like it's the
men that always want to bang.
The men always want more.
I think, like you say, you havea lot of guy friends and you
say they wouldn't, but Iguarantee they would?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I don't know.
The thing is, I'm very goodfriends with her uncle and he is
one person who I know I'm nothis type physically Like I know
I'm not.
I'm taller than him.
I'm not Asian.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Do you think they can be't know men and women?
Um, I, honestly all of the guyfriends that I've had in my life
really struggle to be my friendin a relationship and I think
that told me a lot about the waythey see me.
And, um, I think it's reallyhurtful because it's like oh,
you weren't my friend, youwanted to sleep with me, like
yeah, you have to try to sniffthat out.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
I feel like in the beginning, because it's that
intention or whatever.
But a lot of times I think youjust have to be careful and set
boundaries, because I do thinkthat it's a slippery slope into
the more than friends.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I do have one guy friend and we actually just kind
of use each other as emotionalsupport through dating and I
think that's the safe, that'sour boundary, like because he's
dating people.
But he'll ask me sometimes likeI don't feel like planning a
date and I'm like dude, that'syour job, I'm not dating her.
So like just reinforcing thatboundary and just being like
(34:23):
this is not a dynamic whereyou're going to get like free
emotional labor here.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Could you?
Speaker 3 (34:28):
date him.
That's a confusing slope.
It's a slippery slope Likethat's just like he's terrified
of children.
So I was like deal breaker.
Yeah, deal breaker, for sure.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I think you can only be friends with the opposite sex
if you're not attracted to themphysically.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
But I feel like one of the partners is always
attracted Physically attracted.
Yeah, ghosting Ever justifiedor always trash behavior.
Sometimes ghosting is self-care, they say.
Or is that just what toxicpeople say?
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (35:02):
That's just what toxic people say I think you're
a child.
You shouldn't be dating.
If you ghost people, yeah I?
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I agree, but devil's advocate, do you think some
people need to be ghosted, likethe really persistent ones that
just don't stop and you try togive them the hint and they
don't take the hint.
At some point do you feel youneed to?
Speaker 2 (35:20):
just I, think you need to stop hinting and be
direct and say please stopcontacting me, I will not spell
it out, I will not be respondingafter this point, and then you
can ghost and block or whatever.
Yeah, um, but I don't thinkthat just ghosting is ever an
okay thing to do treat otherpeople how you want to be
(35:41):
treated.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Liking old pictures on Instagram is that flirty or
being creepy?
I think that's creepy.
When you get like 250notifications from the same
person liking all your picturesand the pictures are like from
10 years ago, don't you findthat kind of creepy?
They're going through all yourold pictures.
I think that's lazy lovebombing.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
I think it's lazy love bombing too and it's a
little flirty because there are,I like, I mean, I got some good
pictures from a long time ago.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah, I know I was kind of cute, so like go through
my stuff You're like oh yeahthat was a good picture.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
It like kind of reminds me.
I'm like, oh yeah, like howcould I not?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
do that.
That is hilarious.
Do you owe someone honesty ifyou're just?
Speaker 2 (36:29):
having fun.
Do you really need a seriousconversation policy on this?
My policy is always honesty,like if I don't feel a
connection with someoneromantically, I am the first one
to say, hey, I don't really seethis going anywhere
romantically.
But like this is a really coolconcert we're at, or this is a
really cool concert we're at, orthis is a really cool food
truck festival you invited me to, I'm still open.
I am going to stay here andhang out by myself because I'm
(36:51):
here and it's fun, and so if youwould like to stay and hang out
with me, you are more thanwelcome to, but it's not a
romantic thing for me.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
I guess it's always better to be honest so that
you're on the same page.
Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
What do you think um?
I think it's more confusing forme when other people aren't
honest and that's that'sstressful because I'm like am I
infringing on your boundaries?
Am I disrespecting you with mybehavior in some way if we
aren't on the same page?
So like I'll casually be likeso are we like just chilling?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
is this like one time hangout, like it's not gonna
bother my feelings, but talkingto multiple people, normal or
shady, you're not exclusiveuntil there's a conversation,
right?
I think that you can talk to asmany people as you want until
you've had that conversation.
What are we?
What are we doing?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
right agreed yeah.
I I think it once again I'mjust a golden retriever trapped
in this angry little body.
So like I already have decided,like I have feelings for you
long, long before we've actuallyhad the conversation Right.
So I'm probably not talking toanyone the same way I'm talking
to you, but I don't think it'slike bad behavior to be talking
(38:00):
to multiple people.
It's just that it's something Ican't do.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Do you think people need to be honest about?
Hey, just to let you know I amtalking to other people.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
No, I think that's implied.
If you haven't had aconversation about exclusivity,
I think it's implied that you'reboth talking to other people.
And it's interesting because Isee all the time on the.
Are you in the?
Are we dating the same guygroup?
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
So all the time girls will be like, just started
talking to this guy, wonderingif he's talking to anyone else,
and it's like, yes, bitch, he'stalking to other people Like you
.
You, you literally just said Ijust started talking to him.
Why would he not be talking toother people?
And it's perfectly okay if heis.
And it's perfectly okay if heis.
Like, if you just startedtalking to him, clearly you guys
(38:43):
haven't had a conversation yet,that you're only dating each
other.
And if you haven't had thatconversation yet, like he's more
than welcome to talk to whoeverhe wants.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Yeah, last one is it okay to be friends with your ex?
I feel that if you're in a newrelationship, it's disrespectful
to be friends with your ex, butif you're single still and
you're okay with it, I don'tknow.
What do you guys think?
Speaker 3 (39:10):
I have one really close friend that is an ex and I
would be lying if I said thatthat relationship has blocked
probably some blessings in mylife.
You know what I mean.
Like you probably have blockedyourself by having that
friendship, so like settingboundaries there.
You can be cordial to them.
(39:30):
You can be like respectful, butdoesn't mean that you guys
should be like besties hangingout on weekends and I think it's
situational too.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
I think it depends on how deep and involved the
relationship was.
If it's an ex, quote-unquote ex, if it's someone that you just
went on a few dates with, youwere never really exclusive, so
you call them your ex becauseyou kind of dated but figured
out you were better as friends,I don't see a problem with that.
(39:59):
But if it's someone that youdated for you know, three, four
or five years, never had kidswith, never got married to and
it ended, I don't know.
I don't know why there's areason to still be friends with
someone that you had super,super, super deep romantic
feelings towards.
I feel like it just gets in theway.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
So now it's time for the celebrity cut, where we
marinate in the juices of thecelebrities.
So did you see that interviewthat Charlize Theron was on with
Alex Cooper from Call Her Daddy, did you see that?
So I always liked CharlizeTheron, but I fell in love with
her even more after thisinterview because she was very
candid, very real.
She was talking about how sherecently shagged a 26 year old
(40:43):
because she's 49 and she's likeyeah, I recently banged a 26
year old and it was fuckingamazing, it was fucking
fantastic.
She was just raw and real,which I appreciated, you know.
But Megyn Kelly you know, megynKelly, she slammed Charlize
Theron like just went off.
She was trashy and vulgar andinappropriate.
She needs to act.
Her rage.
She's one of the biggestcelebrities.
She needs to act like it.
Why does she need to act likesomeone?
(41:04):
She's not.
Why does she need to pretend to?
be someone why does she need tofilter herself?
Speaker 3 (41:08):
yeah, let her live her life right.
There are multiple malecelebrities that have dated 25
year olds and below right, soI'm really confused.
Is that just the doublestandard?
Speaker 1 (41:20):
exactly, and megan kelly said oh, also, I think
she's lying about the 26 yearold.
I don't think she did bang a 26year old.
Uh, what 26 year old male wouldnot bang charlie sauron?
I'm a married woman, straightwoman, and I would bang charlie
sauron seriously.
Why is that so hard to believe?
Speaker 2 (41:36):
I don't know yeah anywho I already need something
to talk about.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
It's true, yeah.
Where is your favorite place togo on a first date?
Speaker 3 (41:44):
okay.
So as this, when men aroundhere hear that like I'm in
scottsdale, they kind of getthis impression that you know
there's certain really weirdstandards.
But like minor family spots,this is so dumb.
But like Diego Pops is one ofmy go-tos, yes.
Or like I want to sit down andeat.
(42:05):
I love people that want to likeactually be able to multitask,
but I'm if I'm trying to playtop golf and actually look
decent, I'm not.
I'm not spending time actuallythinking about what you're
saying.
I'm gonna be honest.
So if I'm actually on a firstdate, it's like diego pops or
grimaldi's I love.
Or, um, just went to a placethe other day that was actually
(42:27):
really good the pear and the theperfect pear yeah, the perfect
place is delicious that grilledcheese sandwiches oh, I love a
good grilled cheese.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Do they put tomato on it?
They have a bunch of differentoptions.
Oh, they do, and uh evo hassome of the best choices.
Good, so like just, I don'tknow something like that now
it's time for zoyo intel,sponsored by zoyo, your
neighborhood yogurt.
So rapid fire questions toreally get to know you the best
or worst pickup line you've everheard, or a pickup line you
(42:56):
like to tell.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I okay, this one was so dumb, but it was like so I
just talked to future me and hesaid that today I'm talking to
my wife, when are we going?
It was something so dumb asthat.
Oh, that's kind of cute, Ithink it's kind of cute, yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Favorite body part on a partner I love hands, hands,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
What gives know I love hands, hands, yeah, what
gives you the ick like justgrosses me out, period um just
human indecency, like you arenot a decent human being, you're
not a good person.
It grosses me out?
Speaker 1 (43:26):
is watching porn considered cheating?
Speaker 3 (43:29):
what type of porn like where what?
Speaker 1 (43:33):
what am I maybe just regular?
Regular or porn is.
Is that cheating?
Speaker 3 (43:38):
I mean, if you're really bad at it and you really
need some techniques, you'retrying to go for it.
Let's just have a conversationabout it.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to
ask your date how many peoplethey've been with?
Speaker 3 (43:50):
I love the fact that you really are into counting
things.
You probably need to get tested, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Yeah, is it acceptable to have sex on?
Speaker 3 (44:00):
a first date sometimes you break rules.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Should you disclose mental health issues early on
ina relationship what do we callit mental health?
Speaker 3 (44:09):
like um, I think you should be honest and candid.
If it is going to affect thedating, like dynamics, you
should be candid and what isyour favorite sexual position
and why?
Oh wow save the best for last.
Um, honestly, I just like aman's body weight on me, I don't
(44:29):
know, like just crush me.
It doesn't matter the position,just I want to feel kind of
crushed.
I'm tired of being on top.
You guys are lazy.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Well, thank you so much for joining us this week at
the Meat Market, and thank youso much, cassie.
If you want to snag a date withCassie, go to at Meat Market
podcast on any of our socialmedia platforms and send us a DM
.
And thank you to our sponsor,tactical Tax Strategies.
If you want to keep more ofyour own wallet, you need to go
to Tactical Tax Strategies.
We'll see you next week at themeat market.
Oh my God, I just totally gotcatfished.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
He looks absolutely nothing like his picture, so I
found out, the guy that I'vebeen dating is married with kids
.
His wife just reached out to me.
Host
Lyndsie and Jess
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