October 8, 2025 ⢠41 mins
Dating shouldnât feel like detective work, but Ele has seen it all.
From catfishes and love-bombers to âlost my phone at the aquariumâ excuses, Ele shares the wild, messy, and hilarious reality of modern dating as a single mom. We dive into red flags, boundary-setting, and clever strategies to protect your peace. FaceTime early, trust your gut, and donât send risky pics.
But itâs not all chaos. Ele also shares soul-recharging hobbies, fun first-date ideas, and how to find someone real who respects boundaries and shows up consistently.
đ§ Hit play, laugh along, and learn how to date smarter without losing your mind.
A big shoutout to our amazing sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies! You can check them out at steptax.com. Remember, we drop your drawers, and they drop the taxâmaking life a little smoother for everyone. Thanks for keeping us covered!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:00):
Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.
He looks absolutely nothing likehis picture.
So I found out the guy that I'vebeen dating is married with
kids.
His wife just reached out to me.
SPEAKER_02 (00:15):
Welcome to the meat market.
The single scene is aslaughterhouse, and we are here
to devour it.
We are your hosts.
I'm Lindsay.
I'm Jess.
And today's sizzling single isElle.
Welcome, Elle.
Hi.
Thank you.
So you were engaged to a girlfor six months?
We were actually engaged for ayear.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (00:32):
Yeah, a little over a year.
So got engaged pretty quick.
Do you prefer men, women, both?
I don't really have anypreference.
It's I guess kind of whoeverstands out to me.
I really liked her.
Um I don't know that going intorelationships I'd want to be
with a woman again.
SPEAKER_01 (00:49):
There's quite a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (00:50):
I'm not really emotionally vulnerable to
people.
So I have a hard time connectingwith women because they expect
me to be more emotional towardsthem.
And I don't I can't really doit, even if I try, because I'm
very logical with my thinking.
So I don't really actirrationally.
And a lot of times they justwant me to be like in the moment
(01:11):
feeling things, and I can't doit.
So it's really difficult.
SPEAKER_02 (01:15):
And I love women too, but we can be dramatic,
can't we?
And especially if we're likethinking on our cycles, like
what a nightmare.
SPEAKER_00 (01:22):
It is, yeah.
I mean, it's a lot of funthough, because like you get
your best friend out of it, andyou're like, we go shopping
together, you know, we do that,like it's great.
And like we still have a lot oflove for each other.
It didn't end it like horribly.
We're still friends, you know,and talk almost every day.
But did you end it?
Yes.
Was she devastated?
Yes.
Yeah, and it was I there was alot that led up to the moment,
(01:44):
unfortunately.
I lost my mom um uh three weeksbefore we got engaged.
Oh, or after, I'm sorry, afterwe got engaged, she passed away.
Um, and it was really sudden.
So everything with that kind ofjust created a huge weight and
with my kids and stuff.
So I kind of just snapped andwas like, I can't do this
anymore.
Yeah, it wasn't really anythingshe did, it was just my own, you
(02:06):
know, internal stuff.
SPEAKER_03 (02:07):
Have you guys watched Hunting Wives on
Netflix?
No, I've seen though, it's sogood.
I started watching it lastweekend thinking like, oh, we'll
see what this show is about.
And I don't watch TV, I don'thave a ton of time to watch TV,
and I always fall asleep onshows.
I watched this season in likethree nights.
(02:28):
It was so good.
Oh, I've got to watch it then.
Yeah, but there's a lot of girlon girl action and girl on girl
relationship, and it's verydramatic.
And it's it's just like, oh mygod.
I'm like, if that's how it is,or how it would be dating a
woman or being with a woman, I'mlike, I could never, I could
(02:48):
never be gay.
I could never date a woman.
Like it's crazy.
SPEAKER_00 (02:52):
It's yeah, it's hard.
I mean, it's different whenyou're like not living in the
same household, right?
Because then you move intogether and it like the light
switch just flips.
So it's like you realize like,oh, they have these tendencies,
I have these tendencies, andit's like merging really
incorrectly.
It's like trying to make apuzzle puzzle piece fit that
doesn't.
SPEAKER_03 (03:11):
It's really difficult, but you know, would
you bring a female into arelationship with a man?
Like if you were in arelationship with a man, would
you bring in another woman as athird?
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
No, no, no.
I'm and it's not like I'm aterritorial person by any means,
but I'm like, if I'm committedto you, I'm only committed to
you.
Yeah.
I don't want to bring in anotherperson because then like, what
if what if you end up liking herand you leave me?
SPEAKER_03 (03:33):
You know, like and that's true.
It's hard to find a woman that'swilling to come into a
relationship between a man and awoman who isn't also into men
and women, right?
It's like you're not gonnaconvince a lesbian who's only
into women to come into yourrelationship or to come into
your bedroom with a man.
(03:55):
Unless the man just wants towatch.
Unless the man just wants towatch.
Yeah, that's true.
I've gotten a lot of thosemessages.
SPEAKER_00 (04:02):
Have you?
Yes.
I got one the other day that waslike, will you, you know, be
with my wife and I'll justwatch?
And I was like, I'm on only theman's side of dating right now.
So, like, how did this happen?
And how does it work?
Is this on the dating apps?
It's on Facebook dating, yeah.
They'll reach out to you as afew.
So they send little like umimpressions, I guess, or
messages, and they can like makea message after they like you to
(04:24):
your photo.
And one of them asked me that,and I was like, I didn't like
it, so we didn't match.
But I was like, what a weird,like first impression to reach
out to me by.
Yeah.
So they want you to be theunicorn.
Yeah, and I mean I yeah, I get alot of those messages and like
just like, hey, will you send mepictures for money and stuff
like that?
(04:44):
Like, nothing's really hey, Iwant to take you out on a date.
SPEAKER_02 (04:48):
Yeah, I feel like they should have an app or a
website, the unicorn, because Iknow a lot of couples want a
woman, want to bring in a woman.
Well, where do you find thesewomen?
SPEAKER_03 (04:56):
You there is, I think, field isn't isn't there
one called like field that isfor alternative lifestyle.
Lifestyle like BDSM and stufflike that.
SPEAKER_00 (05:06):
And I've tried that before too, and that was
disastrous.
Why I think I spent like a wholetwo days on there.
Why?
Just like people with no profilepictures sending me like really
risky messages, and then I waslike, Oh, well, I don't want
this.
What am I doing here?
SPEAKER_03 (05:22):
So then it's people using the app to basically hide
behind the internet, right?
When the app is supposed to be asafe place for people who are
into that kind of stuff toexplore, but then you still get
people who are using it like asa way to hide, yeah, I guess
(05:43):
it's it's got a lot of uhanonyminity.
SPEAKER_00 (05:46):
I can't pronounce that word, but it's got a lot of
that behind it, and they'll likeblur their photos, okay, which
is super strange because it'slike, well, this is supposed to
be uh from what I understand,more on the physical side.
So like, wouldn't I want to beattracted to you physically and
see you to be able to determineif I want to move forward with
you?
Yeah, you would think sopointless interesting face out
(06:07):
on a dating profile.
I I think I'm on every datingapp you could think of.
You are currently?
Yes, it's awful.
Is it awful?
That's so bad.
Is there anyone that's betterthan the others, in your
opinion?
Um, well, my most horriblesituations have come from Hinge.
SPEAKER_01 (06:25):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (06:26):
Yes.
Um, and then the you know, onenight stands and stuff are from
Tinder, so it's like So Tinderis still a hookup site?
I it feels like it is, but I metmy ex uh fiance on Tinder, like,
and that was good while itlasted, minus the other things.
And then before that, myprevious partner, I met him on
Tinder.
So I don't think it was likesuper fruitless.
(06:48):
Yeah, so I just think you gottaweed.
You definitely have to weed.
Do you have any disaster datestories from online?
Um, well, I haven't really goneon a lot of dates, um, just uh
disaster after effects.
Are you talking about who youthink you're talking about?
SPEAKER_02 (07:04):
So let everyone out there know, we met Elle because
her ex was on our podcast andtold a story when we asked him,
tell us one of your worst dates.
He told a story and she foundthe story.
She scrolled upon it on TikTok.
Like, that is not how ithappened.
SPEAKER_00 (07:19):
So he spun the story, right?
Yeah, yeah, he did.
Because our first date wasactually, I was at work and uh
we had FaceTimed a couple daysprior, and like he seemed really
sweet and nice.
He was very attentive, likeFaceTimed me right away, calling
me, showing me, you know,attention.
And I was like, Oh, well, likethis is unusual, but I like
this.
And so he was like, Whoa, I wantto meet you, blah, blah, blah.
(07:40):
I'll drive down to where youare.
I'm on the West Valley, he'sEast Valley.
So I was like, Are you sure?
Like, that's a really longdrive, and I'm really only gonna
get probably a 30-minute lunchbecause I don't even take
lunches.
And he was like, No, absolutely,I just want to see you.
So I was like, Okay, so we metat Schnitzel's by my work.
Schnitzel's and it was the worstlunch ever.
I got like some potato soup andit was awful.
SPEAKER_03 (08:02):
Nothing I've ever eaten out of schnitzel's.
It's fast food, right?
Like they have drive-throughs.
SPEAKER_00 (08:07):
Well, and that's why I was like, there's like
schnitzels or Arby's, and likeArby's doesn't feel really like
a good fit for like a firstinteraction.
So it's like schnitzel's has gotthe meat.
I was gonna say Arby's, yeah,roast beef sandwiches.
It's like it's just a walkingjoke to do a first day that
Arby's.
SPEAKER_03 (08:22):
I feel like I do Arby's.
Yes, it's really good.
SPEAKER_00 (08:27):
Yeah, it was so bad though, and I was like, after
that, it just started goingdownhill with the love bombing
and everything.
And so when I saw that video,and I was like, that's not like
nothing like that ever happenedat all.
So why?
SPEAKER_02 (08:44):
You know, in his defense, maybe he just wanted a
good story for the podcast,right?
So maybe he exaggerated it.
Like most people do exaggeratestories.
It is true.
Maybe he just wanted, you know,to entertain people.
SPEAKER_03 (08:54):
That's true, and maybe he really wanted those
nails of yours to dig into hischest.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
Yeah, he asked me to, and I was like, no, I'm
squeamish for one.
So like I'm not gonna draw bloodon somebody else.
Plus, I'm not gonna carve myname into your body.
Like, that's cute that you wantto ask me to do that.
That's like, you're mine.
I want everyone to know that.
I'm actually like the very leastperson like that, where I'm
like, if you don't want to bewith me and you're like pulling
back, I'm just gonna walk away.
(09:22):
I don't have any desire to chaseyou and try and keep you around
because you've already made upyour mind.
And he would do that to me, youknow, like just kind of
disappear or block me.
And I was like, okay, this isyeah, childish.
Yeah.
Now he's in Ukraine.
SPEAKER_03 (09:34):
So you know, of course.
I just love, I love how the booktalk girlies all came out on
that post, like the ones who arelike into the fairy smut and the
oh, I know the sexy books.
I think it's great.
I know.
I thought that was so funny.
It was like all the commentswere like, book talk girlies,
where are you?
And it's like, I'm here, I'mhere, I'm here.
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
I liked the ones that were like, oh yeah, give
her my number.
Like, can I have her number?
And I'm like, Yes, like, but I'mnot that person.
Like, I'm very boring.
I don't go anywhere.
I just work a lot and go homeand hang out with my kids.
Like, I I don't, I'm not an afun person.
So you have four boys, right?
I do, yeah.
One of them's grown and he's outin Montana living his life.
(10:16):
Oh, and the other three I havefull-time, but my youngest is
being homeschooled by his dadright now, so he's kind of
between households.
So right now I only actuallyhave two in the house, but how
old are they?
Um 21, 12, almost 13, 11, and 9.
SPEAKER_02 (10:32):
Oh, those are fun ages.
SPEAKER_00 (10:33):
They are and at least they're self-sufficient,
you know.
Yeah.
They are, yeah.
And I work for power sportindustry, so I, you know, we got
dirt bikes and stuff, and I keepthem going with we live out in
the desert, so it's really funto just go out and peruse with
them.
Yeah.
I like it.
SPEAKER_02 (10:47):
So, what do you do in your free time?
What are your hobbies?
Um, so I play the cello.
SPEAKER_00 (10:51):
Oh, wow.
Yeah, so that's fun.
Um, I really used to havingsomething big, big wood in
between your legs.
SPEAKER_02 (10:58):
Make a joke out of it.
But that's impressive.
How long have you been playingfor?
SPEAKER_00 (11:02):
So I actually played the violin when I was a child.
So I just picked the cello backup and trying to like relearn
everything.
Um, it is really difficult withsuper long nails, but I'm trying
to figure it out.
Um, I like that and I read a lotof books.
I used to do taxidermy, but Ifell out of that a while ago.
SPEAKER_02 (11:16):
Taxidermy, is that what you stuff things?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:19):
What?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (11:20):
And like So how does what does that how does that
work?
You take an animal, then don'tdo you have to like drain it,
obviously.
SPEAKER_00 (11:26):
Like tell me the Yeah, I mean you basically skin
it and then you would dry itout.
SPEAKER_02 (11:32):
So you do everything from start to finish.
SPEAKER_00 (11:34):
Yeah.
I haven't done like the fullskinning, but I've stuffed, done
like wet, um, I'm sorry, notwet, uh soft stuffs.
So soft mounts are where they'repliable and they move.
So you can like sit it on acouch and stuff.
And hard mounts are like thetypical deer heads and things of
that nature.
So I've fell into that for awhile.
Um COVID.
SPEAKER_03 (11:54):
I got bored and I was just like what's the
weirdest thing someone's everactually asked you to taxidermy?
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
So nobody's ever actually asked me to do
anything.
Okay.
Um, but I had a business thatwas basically, you know, people
were like, they really like thepinned butterflies and stuff
like that with the skulls.
It's not so much people werelike, I want a stuffed duck.
SPEAKER_03 (12:16):
Or like, I want I want you to stuff my dog.
Like my dog tucked away and Iwant you to stuff my dog.
SPEAKER_00 (12:21):
A few years ago, though, I was seeing this guy,
but he did like a lot of drugs,which I was like, whatever.
But he did tell me he's like, mydog just died.
And I was like, Oh, I'm sorry tohear that.
And he's like, I want you tostuff it.
And I was like, Are you sure?
Like, I want you to think aboutthis before you actually ask me
to do this, because you're gonnahave a dead stuffed dog in your
(12:42):
apartment and you do shrooms.
Like, let's just let's digestthis before we commit to go.
How is this gonna go?
Right.
And so I he ended up just waslike, No, I'm just gonna get her
cremated.
And I was like, I think that'sprobably a better decision for
you.
SPEAKER_03 (12:56):
Smart.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (12:57):
So, but I've heard of people stuffing their dogs
because they don't want them toever leave.
Yeah, isn't that kind of creepy?
Would you have a good?
SPEAKER_03 (13:04):
No, I would never do that.
No, I wouldn't know.
I would, I my I come from ahunting family, and so I will
say it's like there's somethingto be said about having your
trophy, right?
But it's like then also we havedealt with this with my
grandpa's things because he wasa big hunter.
Um, and so it's like, you know,he had the coyote and the fox,
(13:26):
and he had the the deer with theyou know, with the rack, and it
is a way to show your trophy,but then it's like we're like,
who wants the stuffed fox fromyou know 20 years ago?
Who wants the coyote like I do?
What does the fox say?
SPEAKER_00 (13:45):
I love that stuff.
I know my whole house isdecorated like that.
SPEAKER_03 (13:48):
Is it really?
That's so funny.
I guess, I guess somebody, Ithink, I think they ended up, my
mom and her sisters ended uptaking a lot of that stuff to
the thrift.
Um, but hopefully it found agood home.
I don't know.
Those things are expensive too,right?
They are to to have an animaltaxiderm or too.
SPEAKER_02 (14:05):
No, to buy like a head, like a deer head or a
cabinet.
SPEAKER_03 (14:09):
I don't think you really buy them.
Yeah, you do.
People buy them to put in theircabins all the time.
I guess, but then you're like aposer because you didn't
actually get it yourself.
I have issues with this.
SPEAKER_02 (14:21):
So you said you call it a trophy.
I have it so do you just huntfor the trophy or do you you eat
the meat and no, we eat all ofthe meat back then?
You use everything, yeah.
Okay, so you're not doing itjust for a game.
Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_03 (14:33):
No, no, but all whatever you have taxidermied,
right, is known as the trophy.
SPEAKER_01 (14:40):
Oh, oh, that's the name of the trophy.
SPEAKER_03 (14:42):
It's the term that's the term in the hunting, like in
the hunting world, like that'sthe term for what you have to
show for your hunt.
So, like my from my brother, forexample, typically does one deer
per season and he jerkies it allout.
And so we have jerky for theentire year.
(15:04):
So we have meat that meat forthe entire year.
Okay.
Um, and then I mean, sometimeshe'd he doesn't usually take it
to the taxidermist, I guess,unless it would be unless he'd
get like a really, really bigbuck that's super impressive
that would make a beautifultrophy on the wall, then yeah,
sure.
But otherwise, no.
Oh, okay.
Got yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:25):
Um so are you looking to get married?
Have you been married before?
I have been married before.
Okay.
Are you looking to getremarried?
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
Are you looking for more kids?
What are you looking for?
Um, I actually can't have anymore kids um fixed, so that I'm
pretty done on that.
Um, I would love to get married.
Like I think that would begreat.
I've I didn't get to have awedding.
So I never got address, I nevergot the whole experience, you
know.
But I don't want to just getmarried to get married, you
know?
So but also that emotionalinability of you know, that I
(15:56):
feel all the time.
Like I don't really know if I'veever actually been in love with
anybody.
I've loved a lot of people.
You didn't love your ex-husband?
I oh no.
Really?
No.
SPEAKER_02 (16:05):
How long were you together for?
Eight years.
Why did you stay with him if youwent in love with him?
SPEAKER_00 (16:09):
Because the kids were like, yeah, and it was it
was a really toxic relationship,and I was really, really young.
I married him when I was like19.
Oh wow, that is young.
Yeah, so and we just actuallygot divorced uh officially in
2021, but we separated in 2017when I moved here.
So it was just and it even tothis day can still be a really
toxic relationship with thekids.
SPEAKER_03 (16:30):
It just did you guys date other people while you were
separated, but before yourdivorce was final?
SPEAKER_00 (16:36):
I did.
I don't think he's dated anyonesince we've split.
I've never seen him with a womanor talk about a woman, and my
kids have never said anythingabout a woman.
So I don't think he's eventried.
SPEAKER_03 (16:48):
Because I see that get brought up a lot in some of
the groups, like the are wedating the same guy groups?
Oh yeah.
Like the having a guy beseparated versus the divorce is
final and should you date whileyou're separated, uh because
you're still technicallymarried, and blah blah blah.
Do you guys have opinions onthat?
Obviously, you dated while youwere separated.
SPEAKER_00 (17:09):
Well, he like skipped um states while I was
going through the divorceprocess.
So it was like I initiated thedivorce really quickly, um, but
I kept having to changeattorneys because there was
things, and then I couldn'tafford the attorney because he
left it kind of high and drywith the kids.
So it was like it was a battle.
Um, and I had to serve him bynewspaper in like four different
(17:29):
states um just because I didn'tknow where he was and he
wouldn't tell me.
So it was a really long process.
And I was dating at the time andwas actually in like a three and
a half year relationship at thatpoint.
Um during the whole constituentuh divorce and separation.
And he was really understanding,like he knew because he saw
firsthand what I was goingthrough, you know.
So he was like, Yeah, youdefinitely don't want to be with
(17:52):
this guy.
I mean, now we have a decentrelationship, but it's taken a
long time to get to that point.
SPEAKER_02 (17:58):
How do you feel about dating someone that's
technically still married, evenif they're separated?
I don't know.
I think I'd have a hard timewith it.
My sister's ex-husband, whenthey first met, he was separated
but not legally divorced, andshe kind of had a bit of a tough
time with it.
Yeah.
But I feel like if you've beenseparated for a long time, and
sometimes it can be a longprocess getting, you know, it
finalized.
SPEAKER_03 (18:18):
And I think it depends on the reason, too,
because I know I've known womenwho drag out divorces because
they want more money or theywant this and that.
Or custody battles, or custodybattles, and so there's that.
SPEAKER_02 (18:34):
I don't know why people drag it out.
Don't you want to be done so youcan close that chapter and move
on?
I would think so.
Unless I guess you don't wantthe divorce.
If the husband's leaving you forsomeone else, yeah, I think it's
like control thing.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (18:45):
Yeah.
Like when, especially like Ihate being like when a
narcissistic, but when somebodywho like has controlled you the
whole entire relationship islike, oh, like they're finally
done with me moving forward, I'mgonna try and manipulate the
situation for as long as Ipossibly can.
And it happens a lot, you know.
I just like I guess if I were toencounter someone who told me
(19:06):
they were going through aseparation, which I have in the
last like six seven months ofbeing single, um, but it just it
wasn't true.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (19:15):
So that's the problem.
And that is the problem, is alot of times someone will say
they're going through aseparation, but they're really
not.
Or they might be, but theintention is still to get back
together.
Yeah, I know life text me.
Like they separate they separateto work on themselves or they
separate to fix their issues,and then the plan is to get back
(19:36):
together.
SPEAKER_00 (19:36):
Yeah, and that happens a lot, you know.
Like, um I think of all thepeople I've actually like
enjoyed in the last few monthsof being single that I've talked
to, they have all been married.
And it didn't come out until theend part of it, like, you know,
finding out actually the are wedating the same people pages,
then you find out and it's like,oh yeah, they're he's married.
(19:58):
And it's like, how okay?
There goes two two months of mytime going back and forth with
this man.
Do they think it's not gonna getback to their wife?
They do.
I think they think they'retrying to be sly about it
because I remember there was oneweekend where um he had drove
out again to East Valley to seeme.
And um we met at like a littlebar next to my old work.
(20:22):
And after he left, I was liketalking to him and we were on
the phone.
He's like, Okay, well, I'mpicking my son up from the
babysitters, and I was like,Okay, weird, but like it's kind
of late, you know?
And he was like, I'll text youor call you later, and then just
like fell off the face of theearth.
And then come Monday morning, hetexted me, he's like, I lost my
phone at the aquarium.
I'm sure you were blowing myphone up all weekend.
(20:45):
And I was like, Well, for one,I'm a grown woman, so if you're
not gonna respond to me afterthe first text, I'm just gonna
leave it.
I wasn't blowing your phone upat all.
I was like, But as a parent, howare you gonna go a whole weekend
without a phone?
Like, if I weren't a parent, Iwouldn't care.
But as a parent, right?
If something were to happen, Idon't have a landline phone, you
(21:06):
know?
So he was foot on still marriedwith his wife, no problems at
all.
And they had multiple children,and he only ever referenced one
child.
He told me that his baby mamadied.
I'm not even joking.
SPEAKER_02 (21:17):
Wow, and I was just like savage, ooh, okay, like can
you imagine hearing your husbandtalk about you that way?
I know like that is bad.
Yeah, that is grounds fordivorce, I'd be done.
SPEAKER_00 (21:29):
Yeah, and but I wasn't the only one.
Like, it had all come out tolight.
There was like many of us thatwere talking to this man during
the same time for months.
What was his name?
Uh Ty.
Ty.
Yeah.
And this all came out on the AreWe Dating the same guy page?
Oh well, and I had posted himinitially a few months after we
like stopped talking, and I waslike, just got a bad gut
(21:49):
feeling, you know, because hewould come back every once in a
while.
Like, you know, they do whenthey get bored.
And so I posted a picture ofhim, and somebody was like, Is
that a wedding photo in thebackground?
And I was like, I didn't evenlook.
And like I couldn't tell, and Izoomed in, you know, and I was
like, I don't know, like, Idon't know whose house that is.
SPEAKER_03 (22:05):
So I couldn't really Yeah, he could be at a friend's
house, he could be at hisparents' house, he could be at
anybody else's house, right?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (22:12):
So and but then all these people were like um
messaging me, and they're like,I know his wife, and they're
like supposed to be happilymarried, have like a brand new
baby, and I was like, Oh, whoa,okay, so the babysitter was just
the wife.
Oh I was like, that's prettygross.
SPEAKER_02 (22:26):
That's crazy.
You know what crack some is theinternet sleuths, like people
that zoom in find weddingfictions.
SPEAKER_00 (22:32):
They do, it's crazy.
You post anything on thesepages, and they're like, Oh,
yeah.
I remember one time I sawsomething that somebody was
like, I just want to know whatthis charge on a receipt is, and
they like found the GPScoordinates and they're like,
It's this place, it's a gasstation.
SPEAKER_02 (22:47):
I was like You cannot get away with anything, I
feel like you're dumb if you'rea guy and you think you can
cheat with multiple women inthis day and age.
SPEAKER_00 (22:54):
I know, yeah, it is insane, but yeah, you know, what
do you can do?
What are your deal breakers?
Um, I don't even know.
But being married, I guess, isone of them.
That's hilarious.
Like, I um recently was had afriend who, you know, was like,
we should get together and youknow, like see what this could
(23:17):
be romantically.
And I'm man.
Um, and I cut it off.
I have a lot of respect for him,but I was like, I want to get
married and I want to be withsomeone who wants to live in the
same household as me, you know,and he wanted to go the opposite
direction and like stay longdistance for until his child
grows up.
And I was like, Yeah, I just Ican't do that.
(23:38):
So I guess that would be a dealbreaker for me, too, is if you
expect me to be in a longdistance relationship with you
for 16 years.
Oh god, probably not a longtime.
Was he open to having you moveto him or no?
So I own my own house and heowns his.
Uh, he doesn't have enough spacefor me and three kids.
I don't have enough space forhis household.
I've got dogs and cats andstuff, you know, because I'm
(24:01):
comfortable in my home.
I also really like my house.
Yeah.
So I'm like, I've done the wholemerging thing and had to give up
part of my lifestyle toaccommodate someone else, and I
don't really want to do itagain.
But I I prefer like single menor women because you can just
move in and move out quick.
Like if something goes sideways,you just grab your stuff and go.
Like, you know, you don't reallyhave any attachments.
(24:24):
But I don't yeah, I also stilljust looking at this as like I'm
still pretty newly single andI'm really enjoying my space and
uh not having someone hog up thebed.
That's really nice.
Do you have any unique talentsthat not many people know about?
SPEAKER_02 (24:39):
No, I mean the cello.
I was gonna say the cello andthe violin, that's impressive.
SPEAKER_00 (24:43):
Um, unique talents.
No, I mean just you know, likethe tax dermy stuff.
I I wouldn't really say it'stalent, it's just practice.
SPEAKER_03 (24:52):
How long did your tattoo sleeve, the like your
blackout, take?
SPEAKER_00 (24:55):
Oh, this took four hours.
SPEAKER_03 (24:57):
And did that did it hurt?
SPEAKER_00 (24:58):
Oh yeah, it hurt so bad.
Did it really still not finish?
Is it a cover?
Is it a cover-up?
Yeah, okay.
My ex-husband designed it forme.
My whole entire sleeve and thebottom half was just it was
disgusting.
And I was like, it's time.
It's been 10 years, we just getrid of it.
SPEAKER_03 (25:14):
Yeah.
Speaking of it being taught ittime, are you ready for it?
I'm ready for it.
The keep more minute brought toyou by Tactical Tax Strategies.
They help you keep more in yourwallet, we help you keep more in
your relationship.
So we have a question that we'regonna talk about.
This one's a little bitlong-winded.
We've got a lot of details onthis one, ladies.
Okay.
(25:35):
I've been talking to this guyfor about a week.
He slid into the DMs, and theconvo has been great so far.
It got sexy flirty really fast,which I'm okay with.
I'm no prude, but I did make itvery clear that I don't exchange
sexually explicit photos untilafter I've been with someone in
person.
Even so, he kept asking with noconcrete plans for a first date.
(26:00):
He calls it being cheeky, but Icall it a lack of respect for my
boundaries.
Am I overreacting if I just letit fizzle out?
If I stick around, I feel likeI'm setting myself up for a
future of disrespect andmanipulation.
SPEAKER_02 (26:15):
Next.
That's all he wants, is onething, right?
Of any guy from my past when Iwas single and dating online, if
they start off with the sex talkand wanting pictures, that's all
they want.
Right?
Like if you're interested ingetting to know someone and
actually pursuing somethingserious, then you don't go that
route.
Do you agree?
I agree.
SPEAKER_00 (26:32):
Yeah, I think that in ultimately you do that, you
open the doors, you have sexwith them, and then they're
gonna ghost you anyways.
It's so true.
Like if they don't have anyintention to stick around
whatsoever.
SPEAKER_02 (26:45):
So I feel if she wants just a sexual
relationship, then that's fine,entertain it.
But if if you're looking formore, nope, move on.
So funny, so funny story.
SPEAKER_03 (26:53):
The key warm in it, the key warm in it was me.
This happened to me last week.
SPEAKER_01 (27:01):
What?
SPEAKER_03 (27:01):
Uh-huh.
And I just I wanted to see if ifthe other ladies would be on my
side.
You on the side of your side.
Well, yeah.
So I basically I told him, like,you have no respect for my
boundaries.
Is this someone we know I know?
No.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (27:12):
So is this a random person from so you were
interested?
Uh-huh.
But you're never interested in agirl.
SPEAKER_03 (27:17):
I know.
I know.
I know, never.
So you actually just wanted thesex stuff.
No, I don't, so I don't know.
I still am not a hundredpercent.
I kept telling him I'm I'mtrying to suss out your
intentions because I'm not surewhat they are.
Because we had really greatconversation.
But then he would pass myboundaries and I'd be like, I've
(27:37):
already told you my boundary onthis multiple times.
So why are you still trying topush it?
Oh, that's annoying.
And so and so to me, I feltdisrespected because he wasn't
hearing what I was saying.
I'm okay with sexy flirting,it's fun.
And he and he was from New York,and so he's lives far away,
(27:58):
which I also don't mind longdistance.
Um, and so that was my thing, isI was like, this is my boundary.
It is okay.
We can flirt and we can talk andwe can talk about sex, that's
fine, but this is my boundary.
And every single time he wouldtry to push, push, push the
boundary.
And I just felt that it wasdisrespectful.
It is when I was very clearabout my boundary.
SPEAKER_02 (28:21):
It shows that he's not really listening, you know?
And like you said, notrespecting your boundaries.
SPEAKER_00 (28:24):
So yeah.
But also something I ran intotoo is like if you're not
FaceTiming them to like makesure they are who they are.
I've ran across like numerousaccounts from Tinder and stuff
like that that were actual fakepeople and still had nudes of
the people they were pretendingto be.
SPEAKER_03 (28:41):
My ex used to do that.
I had an ex who was a catfish onTinder.
No, this guy we we've FaceTimeda couple of times.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (28:48):
Yeah, because it scares me because I'm like,
what?
And you know, it happened to me.
And I was like, what happened ifI were to send you pictures of
me like that?
Like, are you just spreadingthem around the internet?
Are you using them to catfishother people?
SPEAKER_03 (28:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (28:58):
Like, what's going on?
Yeah, how did we get here?
It's that's terrifying.
SPEAKER_03 (29:03):
It is, it is super scary.
No, I also realized with thisone that I have a new ick.
I've unlocked a new ick.
What is it?
If he doesn't make his bed inthe morning, really?
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
Yeah.
I've talked to many where I'mlike, do you make your bed in
the morning?
And they're just like, what?
SPEAKER_02 (29:19):
And I'm like, it's But if they're not having guests
over, like, who are they makingit for themselves?
SPEAKER_03 (29:24):
Like, yes, of course.
Because they're disciplined andthey're responsible adults.
But then also, I could I I wentback and forth because I was
like, yes, it's an ick, but alsoI make the bed every day.
So do I need my partner to makethe bed every day?
Probably not because I'm becauseI'm gonna do it anyways.
I'm gonna make both sides.
SPEAKER_02 (29:44):
I feel like that's something you can get over, work
through, right?
It's asking to make the bed andhopefully he'll make the bed.
SPEAKER_03 (29:48):
It is, it is something that you can work
through, but it's something thatit adds a point to the negative
side when I'm considering like,do I want to continue
entertaining this or not?
He doesn't even make that bed.
SPEAKER_02 (30:04):
Uh-huh.
And it's something that he hasand he gets mad if I don't.
So he normally makes it, butthen I've started to do it.
Because I know it's important tohim.
So if if I can get the chance todo it before him, I'll do it
before him to make him happy.
Yeah.
So we are going to discuss theindustries that have the highest
divorce rates.
So military, military personnelcheat with other military
(30:27):
personnel because they'reusually in close quarters and
their side pieces with them, youknow, when they travel.
But also the spouses at homecheat too, don't they?
I mean, since we've heard, so Ifeel like it's both.
Firemen and police.
Oh, I've heard that.
I guess that the divorce rate'ssuper high.
But the theory for this, firemenand policemen, is that they
experience trauma and have nocoping skills and they suppress
(30:49):
their emotions, which has to dowith the that and I've also
heard that that with lawenforcement officers, the abuse
rate is really high.
SPEAKER_03 (30:58):
And so I think that's why the divorce rate,
that's another reason why thedivorce rate is really high.
SPEAKER_02 (31:02):
Divose rate, what, the wives?
The domestic abuse.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh shoot.
Unfortunate.
Pilots, because they have theopportunity because they're
never home and they're travelingand they usually cheat with
flight attendants.
Um apparently CEOs who attendColdplay concerts.
Um another theory is thatprofessions that are separated
from their spouse have a highdivorce rate, which makes sense,
(31:24):
right?
Like traveling salespeople andthat kind of thing.
Then I also had um how to tellif your spouse is cheating.
So when they change theirroutine, when they get
secretive, obviously, if theyhave changes in their social
media.
Have you ever had a guy cheatand seen changes?
SPEAKER_03 (31:42):
Not no.
I've never had a long-termpartner cheat on me in like the
traditional sense.
I dated the guy who wascatfishing, but that was I
consider that like a mentalhealth.
That was some that was so muchcrazy.
That was so much deeper thanjust going out and cheating.
I've never had an ex that Icaught cheating.
(32:05):
Have you?
SPEAKER_00 (32:06):
Yeah.
How did you find out?
Well, usually their wives reachout to them.
Yeah.
I was actually in that highschool, I had this guy that I
was dating.
Um, it was high school, youknow.
But after uh he got shipped offto the Navy, he and I like
rekindled stuff and he wanted tomarry me or whatever.
And we like planned this wholething.
(32:27):
And then I found out he wasalready married and she lived
with him.
And I was like, I was theproblem, apparently, at that
point.
But I've got a really bad recordwith dating.
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02 (32:38):
Don't they say though that statistically, like,
what is it?
40% of men online are married.
It's like a high statistic.
It could even be higher thanthat.
SPEAKER_03 (32:45):
Yeah, it's like scary high.
That are online dating that arelike on the dating apps.
I haven't read that.
I believe it though.
SPEAKER_02 (32:52):
Yeah.
So I dated a guy once that wascheating on me, and I could tell
because he was always all of asudden he's like, Oh, I'm gonna
spend this weekend with mynephews.
I'm gonna hang out with mynephews.
And it's like, okay, why can't Icome?
Or I'm gonna go to happy outwith my family.
Can you just wait at home forme?
And it's like, well, why aren'tyou inviting me?
Little things like that, makingplans, but doesn't invite you,
you know?
(33:12):
So um, scientific signs, a manis cheating.
And this is said by a woman.
If they're pulling away, youfeel emotional distance, you
feel something's changed, ifthey start talking about how
they know her, like they subtlybring her into the conversation,
like this girl at work, and shelike pops up regularly in
conversation.
When you mention her, and theyautomatically say, Oh no, no,
(33:32):
no, she's not my type, they getdefensive, you know.
Um, he dresses differently,starts talking differently,
wants to align himself with her,starts liking things that she
likes.
If they start drinking differentbeer like Michael Ultra, has
different desires, if theybecome critical and irritable of
you.
Uh, cheaters start small, theyplan a solo event, like a lunch
(33:54):
or a dinner or to walk the dogs,but from the moment they
verbalize a meetup with theirside piece, then you do not
exist to him.
You're done.
He has tunnel vision of hookingup with her.
It's a steep slope from thismoment to physically cheating.
So, and then from a man, I saw aTikTok video, a man's
perspective, this is how youknow when a man is cheating,
when everything you do bothershim, when they act like they're
(34:16):
busy all the time, don't havetime for you, when he has random
depressed stages, when he startsacting distant and cold, and
when you can feel it in yourgut.
I feel like women should alwaystrust their gut, right?
Can't you feel it when they'recheating?
You just know something's wrong.
SPEAKER_00 (34:28):
You feel it when and they do anything wrong.
Yeah, it's just like, ooh, likethe ick.
Uh-huh.
It's like that felt weird, andthen it just goes downhill from
there.
Yeah, that's how intuition.
My friends are like, How do youfigure this stuff out so quickly
about men?
You just start talking to themlike because I feel it in my
gut.
I've experienced so much of itwhere it's just like a constant
cycle.
SPEAKER_02 (34:48):
Now it's time for the celebrity cut.
We'll be marinate in the juicesof the celebrities.
So you know Bonnie Blue, right?
No.
Do you so do you want to tellher who Bonnie Blue is?
Bonnie Blue is this Englishonly.
SPEAKER_03 (35:00):
Yeah, I guess she was on OnlyFans, and she she
what did she do?
Sleep with 2000.
SPEAKER_02 (35:07):
Bagging the most men in 24 hours.
SPEAKER_03 (35:09):
So what was it, 2000?
2,000 something, I think.
SPEAKER_02 (35:12):
So she did this event where she wanted to break
the record.
So she filmed this event, andthere were guides lining up.
Um, I think she broke the 2000record.
There was a documentary about itor a film.
That's why they did this forcontent.
A lady was sitting at her housewatching this documentary, saw a
guy, the last guy in line whohad tattoos.
(35:34):
It was her husband.
No.
Her husband was the last guy inline.
That's how she caught himcheating.
That's how she caught himcheating.
He applied to be one of the menthat Bonnie Blue bangs and was
the last one.
So technically he banged 20 men,you know?
Oh, but like King, she's like,his tattoos were, you know, his
tattoos, they're verydetectable.
(35:54):
Yes, my imagine.
SPEAKER_00 (35:55):
That's what gets most people in trouble.
Right?
The tattoos.
SPEAKER_03 (35:58):
Yeah, it's like yeah.
Anyone recognize this tattoo?
Yep.
There's that happens a lot onthose are we dating the same guy
groups?
Because I feel like girls cansneak tattoos of like a guy's
arm or something like that moreeasily than they can sneak a
picture of his face.
And so there are there are postslike that quite often that are
like, is this anyone's man?
(36:20):
I know you'll I don't need topost a picture of his face
because you'll recognize thetattoos.
SPEAKER_02 (36:24):
Funny.
SPEAKER_03 (36:25):
So crazy.
Imagine.
I can't imagine watching thedocumentary.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00 (36:32):
Well, was there any vetting for that process at all?
Or was it just like no?
SPEAKER_03 (36:36):
I think they just I think they just had to have a
penis.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
I wonder if they even use thecondom, but I would hope so.
They I mean they have to.
SPEAKER_00 (36:44):
Uh that doesn't stop a lot of other STDs.
It's true.
Yeah, it's true.
SPEAKER_02 (36:49):
One of the photographers came out, did an
interview, and was like, thesmell was so bad in that room.
So nasty.
Gnarly.
It's so nasty.
So where's your favorite placeto go on a first date?
SPEAKER_00 (36:59):
Oh goodness.
Um, so I recently decided I likebowling when my nails are
shorter and I can get my fingersin the hole.
Um, but I've only I went to thezoo on one date.
That was cool, but we walkedlike eight million miles and it
was really hot.
So it kind of sucked.
Yeah.
But just I don't know.
Yeah, I'm after actually afterthat date, he took me to Barnes
and Noble.
(37:20):
I have a like wall-to-wallbookshelf in my bedroom.
So I love books.
So I had to pick out a fewbooks.
That was fun.
But anything that's like thatwhere you can like talk and you
know try to make a connection.
Yeah, you know, and a lot oflike, hey, we should just meet
for a drink, but that like isuncomfortable for me.
(37:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (37:41):
Now it's time to get to know you with Zoyo, sponsored
by your neighborhood yogurt.
Zoyo, if you want to pick thetop card, summer vanilla, summer
not so vanilla.
SPEAKER_00 (37:53):
What is the kinkiest thing you've ever done?
That's a good one.
What is the kinkiest thing I'veever done?
Um, I mean I don't know.
I I guess I guess we're nippleclamps.
So it was fine.
(38:15):
It's like that was fine.
SPEAKER_02 (38:16):
Has a guy ever asked you to do something?
Can you like hell no?
SPEAKER_00 (38:20):
Well, yeah.
So my one ex was like obsessedwith anal.
And um we had a situation wherewe were actually just having
normal sex, and I came down toohard and it hit me.
Oh, and I almost threw up.
And I was like, okay, and hekept asking for anal, and I was
(38:41):
like, I love you.
I can't.
I experienced that within ourfirst week of dating, and it was
so painful that I could never dothat.
And it was kind of like actuallymake or break for our
relationship because it wassomething he really wanted, and
I just was like, No, I can't doit.
Wow, it that sucked really bad.
But I just I like I said, I'm alot of vanilla, I don't have a
(39:02):
lot of vanilla sex, but myexperiences have been really
vanilla, but I have likefantasies, you know, where I'm
like, oh yeah, that's what I'msaying.
What are your fantasies?
So you know, book talk.
I was gonna say book talk girl,of course you have fantasies,
yeah.
You know, like nothing as crazyas like haunting Adeline, but
like I love ghost face.
I've got ghost face masks andlike different, you know, horror
(39:24):
villain masks, where I'm like,yeah, that would be hot.
Yeah, but I have to find a manthat is more than just a piece
of meat to do it, you know.
But yeah, I like the ghost facemasks.
I think those are really fun.
SPEAKER_02 (39:35):
That'd be interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (39:37):
Do you like scary movies?
SPEAKER_02 (39:39):
Yes.
unknown (39:40):
Do you like scary penis?
SPEAKER_02 (39:43):
Not scary penis, no.
So do you want him just toweather, or do you want him to
like chase you around the house?
Oh yeah, like whole roleplaying.
Oh, yeah, whole role playing.
SPEAKER_00 (39:52):
I mean, because it's like it's consensual, right?
You know it's gonna happen, sobut it like gives you a little
bit of an adrenaline boost.
And like sometimes fear is kindof a turn-on where it's like,
oh, don't catch me, but you'regonna catch me.
SPEAKER_02 (40:06):
My husband dated a girl that she wanted him to
chase her around with a knife.
Like she always wanted him to dothat.
I'm like, did you?
SPEAKER_00 (40:14):
I don't know that I'd want like a real knife,
right?
SPEAKER_01 (40:17):
Scary.
SPEAKER_00 (40:18):
Like, if you got the plastic ones to like get into
the role play, but if you havelike a real knife, I might, you
know, trip and fall and you gotstab actually.
SPEAKER_03 (40:26):
Yeah, there's a there's real risks associated
with a gone wrong.
SPEAKER_00 (40:31):
Yeah, you do need boundaries with that.
That's funny.
SPEAKER_02 (40:35):
Well, thank you so much for joining us this week at
the meat market.
And thank you so much, Elle.
If you want to go on a date withElle, send us a DM at Meat
Market Podcast.
And thank you so much to oursponsor, Tactical Tax
Strategies.
If you want to keep more of yourown money in your wallet, you
need to go to Tactical TaxStrategies.
We'll see you next week at theMeat Market.
Oh my god, I just totally gotcatfished.
(40:57):
He looks absolutely nothing likehis picture.
SPEAKER_03 (41:00):
So I found out the guy that I've been dating is
married with kids.
His wife just reached out to me.
Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.
He looks absolutely nothing likehis picture.
So I found out the guy that I'vebeen dating is married with
kids.
His wife just reached out to me.
SPEAKER_02 (00:15):
Welcome to the meat market.
The single scene is aslaughterhouse, and we are here
to devour it.
We are your hosts.
I'm Lindsay.
I'm Jess.
And today's sizzling single isElle.
Welcome, Elle.
Hi.
Thank you.
So you were engaged to a girlfor six months?
We were actually engaged for ayear.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (00:32):
Yeah, a little over a year.
So got engaged pretty quick.
Do you prefer men, women, both?
I don't really have anypreference.
It's I guess kind of whoeverstands out to me.
I really liked her.
Um I don't know that going intorelationships I'd want to be
with a woman again.
SPEAKER_01 (00:49):
There's quite a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (00:50):
I'm not really emotionally vulnerable to
people.
So I have a hard time connectingwith women because they expect
me to be more emotional towardsthem.
And I don't I can't really doit, even if I try, because I'm
very logical with my thinking.
So I don't really actirrationally.
And a lot of times they justwant me to be like in the moment
(01:11):
feeling things, and I can't doit.
So it's really difficult.
SPEAKER_02 (01:15):
And I love women too, but we can be dramatic,
can't we?
And especially if we're likethinking on our cycles, like
what a nightmare.
SPEAKER_00 (01:22):
It is, yeah.
I mean, it's a lot of funthough, because like you get
your best friend out of it, andyou're like, we go shopping
together, you know, we do that,like it's great.
And like we still have a lot oflove for each other.
It didn't end it like horribly.
We're still friends, you know,and talk almost every day.
But did you end it?
Yes.
Was she devastated?
Yes.
Yeah, and it was I there was alot that led up to the moment,
(01:44):
unfortunately.
I lost my mom um uh three weeksbefore we got engaged.
Oh, or after, I'm sorry, afterwe got engaged, she passed away.
Um, and it was really sudden.
So everything with that kind ofjust created a huge weight and
with my kids and stuff.
So I kind of just snapped andwas like, I can't do this
anymore.
Yeah, it wasn't really anythingshe did, it was just my own, you
(02:06):
know, internal stuff.
SPEAKER_03 (02:07):
Have you guys watched Hunting Wives on
Netflix?
No, I've seen though, it's sogood.
I started watching it lastweekend thinking like, oh, we'll
see what this show is about.
And I don't watch TV, I don'thave a ton of time to watch TV,
and I always fall asleep onshows.
I watched this season in likethree nights.
(02:28):
It was so good.
Oh, I've got to watch it then.
Yeah, but there's a lot of girlon girl action and girl on girl
relationship, and it's verydramatic.
And it's it's just like, oh mygod.
I'm like, if that's how it is,or how it would be dating a
woman or being with a woman, I'mlike, I could never, I could
(02:48):
never be gay.
I could never date a woman.
Like it's crazy.
SPEAKER_00 (02:52):
It's yeah, it's hard.
I mean, it's different whenyou're like not living in the
same household, right?
Because then you move intogether and it like the light
switch just flips.
So it's like you realize like,oh, they have these tendencies,
I have these tendencies, andit's like merging really
incorrectly.
It's like trying to make apuzzle puzzle piece fit that
doesn't.
SPEAKER_03 (03:11):
It's really difficult, but you know, would
you bring a female into arelationship with a man?
Like if you were in arelationship with a man, would
you bring in another woman as athird?
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
No, no, no.
I'm and it's not like I'm aterritorial person by any means,
but I'm like, if I'm committedto you, I'm only committed to
you.
Yeah.
I don't want to bring in anotherperson because then like, what
if what if you end up liking herand you leave me?
SPEAKER_03 (03:33):
You know, like and that's true.
It's hard to find a woman that'swilling to come into a
relationship between a man and awoman who isn't also into men
and women, right?
It's like you're not gonnaconvince a lesbian who's only
into women to come into yourrelationship or to come into
your bedroom with a man.
(03:55):
Unless the man just wants towatch.
Unless the man just wants towatch.
Yeah, that's true.
I've gotten a lot of thosemessages.
SPEAKER_00 (04:02):
Have you?
Yes.
I got one the other day that waslike, will you, you know, be
with my wife and I'll justwatch?
And I was like, I'm on only theman's side of dating right now.
So, like, how did this happen?
And how does it work?
Is this on the dating apps?
It's on Facebook dating, yeah.
They'll reach out to you as afew.
So they send little like umimpressions, I guess, or
messages, and they can like makea message after they like you to
(04:24):
your photo.
And one of them asked me that,and I was like, I didn't like
it, so we didn't match.
But I was like, what a weird,like first impression to reach
out to me by.
Yeah.
So they want you to be theunicorn.
Yeah, and I mean I yeah, I get alot of those messages and like
just like, hey, will you send mepictures for money and stuff
like that?
(04:44):
Like, nothing's really hey, Iwant to take you out on a date.
SPEAKER_02 (04:48):
Yeah, I feel like they should have an app or a
website, the unicorn, because Iknow a lot of couples want a
woman, want to bring in a woman.
Well, where do you find thesewomen?
SPEAKER_03 (04:56):
You there is, I think, field isn't isn't there
one called like field that isfor alternative lifestyle.
Lifestyle like BDSM and stufflike that.
SPEAKER_00 (05:06):
And I've tried that before too, and that was
disastrous.
Why I think I spent like a wholetwo days on there.
Why?
Just like people with no profilepictures sending me like really
risky messages, and then I waslike, Oh, well, I don't want
this.
What am I doing here?
SPEAKER_03 (05:22):
So then it's people using the app to basically hide
behind the internet, right?
When the app is supposed to be asafe place for people who are
into that kind of stuff toexplore, but then you still get
people who are using it like asa way to hide, yeah, I guess
(05:43):
it's it's got a lot of uhanonyminity.
SPEAKER_00 (05:46):
I can't pronounce that word, but it's got a lot of
that behind it, and they'll likeblur their photos, okay, which
is super strange because it'slike, well, this is supposed to
be uh from what I understand,more on the physical side.
So like, wouldn't I want to beattracted to you physically and
see you to be able to determineif I want to move forward with
you?
Yeah, you would think sopointless interesting face out
(06:07):
on a dating profile.
I I think I'm on every datingapp you could think of.
You are currently?
Yes, it's awful.
Is it awful?
That's so bad.
Is there anyone that's betterthan the others, in your
opinion?
Um, well, my most horriblesituations have come from Hinge.
SPEAKER_01 (06:25):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (06:26):
Yes.
Um, and then the you know, onenight stands and stuff are from
Tinder, so it's like So Tinderis still a hookup site?
I it feels like it is, but I metmy ex uh fiance on Tinder, like,
and that was good while itlasted, minus the other things.
And then before that, myprevious partner, I met him on
Tinder.
So I don't think it was likesuper fruitless.
(06:48):
Yeah, so I just think you gottaweed.
You definitely have to weed.
Do you have any disaster datestories from online?
Um, well, I haven't really goneon a lot of dates, um, just uh
disaster after effects.
Are you talking about who youthink you're talking about?
SPEAKER_02 (07:04):
So let everyone out there know, we met Elle because
her ex was on our podcast andtold a story when we asked him,
tell us one of your worst dates.
He told a story and she foundthe story.
She scrolled upon it on TikTok.
Like, that is not how ithappened.
SPEAKER_00 (07:19):
So he spun the story, right?
Yeah, yeah, he did.
Because our first date wasactually, I was at work and uh
we had FaceTimed a couple daysprior, and like he seemed really
sweet and nice.
He was very attentive, likeFaceTimed me right away, calling
me, showing me, you know,attention.
And I was like, Oh, well, likethis is unusual, but I like
this.
And so he was like, Whoa, I wantto meet you, blah, blah, blah.
(07:40):
I'll drive down to where youare.
I'm on the West Valley, he'sEast Valley.
So I was like, Are you sure?
Like, that's a really longdrive, and I'm really only gonna
get probably a 30-minute lunchbecause I don't even take
lunches.
And he was like, No, absolutely,I just want to see you.
So I was like, Okay, so we metat Schnitzel's by my work.
Schnitzel's and it was the worstlunch ever.
I got like some potato soup andit was awful.
SPEAKER_03 (08:02):
Nothing I've ever eaten out of schnitzel's.
It's fast food, right?
Like they have drive-throughs.
SPEAKER_00 (08:07):
Well, and that's why I was like, there's like
schnitzels or Arby's, and likeArby's doesn't feel really like
a good fit for like a firstinteraction.
So it's like schnitzel's has gotthe meat.
I was gonna say Arby's, yeah,roast beef sandwiches.
It's like it's just a walkingjoke to do a first day that
Arby's.
SPEAKER_03 (08:22):
I feel like I do Arby's.
Yes, it's really good.
SPEAKER_00 (08:27):
Yeah, it was so bad though, and I was like, after
that, it just started goingdownhill with the love bombing
and everything.
And so when I saw that video,and I was like, that's not like
nothing like that ever happenedat all.
So why?
SPEAKER_02 (08:44):
You know, in his defense, maybe he just wanted a
good story for the podcast,right?
So maybe he exaggerated it.
Like most people do exaggeratestories.
It is true.
Maybe he just wanted, you know,to entertain people.
SPEAKER_03 (08:54):
That's true, and maybe he really wanted those
nails of yours to dig into hischest.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
Yeah, he asked me to, and I was like, no, I'm
squeamish for one.
So like I'm not gonna draw bloodon somebody else.
Plus, I'm not gonna carve myname into your body.
Like, that's cute that you wantto ask me to do that.
That's like, you're mine.
I want everyone to know that.
I'm actually like the very leastperson like that, where I'm
like, if you don't want to bewith me and you're like pulling
back, I'm just gonna walk away.
(09:22):
I don't have any desire to chaseyou and try and keep you around
because you've already made upyour mind.
And he would do that to me, youknow, like just kind of
disappear or block me.
And I was like, okay, this isyeah, childish.
Yeah.
Now he's in Ukraine.
SPEAKER_03 (09:34):
So you know, of course.
I just love, I love how the booktalk girlies all came out on
that post, like the ones who arelike into the fairy smut and the
oh, I know the sexy books.
I think it's great.
I know.
I thought that was so funny.
It was like all the commentswere like, book talk girlies,
where are you?
And it's like, I'm here, I'mhere, I'm here.
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
I liked the ones that were like, oh yeah, give
her my number.
Like, can I have her number?
And I'm like, Yes, like, but I'mnot that person.
Like, I'm very boring.
I don't go anywhere.
I just work a lot and go homeand hang out with my kids.
Like, I I don't, I'm not an afun person.
So you have four boys, right?
I do, yeah.
One of them's grown and he's outin Montana living his life.
(10:16):
Oh, and the other three I havefull-time, but my youngest is
being homeschooled by his dadright now, so he's kind of
between households.
So right now I only actuallyhave two in the house, but how
old are they?
Um 21, 12, almost 13, 11, and 9.
SPEAKER_02 (10:32):
Oh, those are fun ages.
SPEAKER_00 (10:33):
They are and at least they're self-sufficient,
you know.
Yeah.
They are, yeah.
And I work for power sportindustry, so I, you know, we got
dirt bikes and stuff, and I keepthem going with we live out in
the desert, so it's really funto just go out and peruse with
them.
Yeah.
I like it.
SPEAKER_02 (10:47):
So, what do you do in your free time?
What are your hobbies?
Um, so I play the cello.
SPEAKER_00 (10:51):
Oh, wow.
Yeah, so that's fun.
Um, I really used to havingsomething big, big wood in
between your legs.
SPEAKER_02 (10:58):
Make a joke out of it.
But that's impressive.
How long have you been playingfor?
SPEAKER_00 (11:02):
So I actually played the violin when I was a child.
So I just picked the cello backup and trying to like relearn
everything.
Um, it is really difficult withsuper long nails, but I'm trying
to figure it out.
Um, I like that and I read a lotof books.
I used to do taxidermy, but Ifell out of that a while ago.
SPEAKER_02 (11:16):
Taxidermy, is that what you stuff things?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:19):
What?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (11:20):
And like So how does what does that how does that
work?
You take an animal, then don'tdo you have to like drain it,
obviously.
SPEAKER_00 (11:26):
Like tell me the Yeah, I mean you basically skin
it and then you would dry itout.
SPEAKER_02 (11:32):
So you do everything from start to finish.
SPEAKER_00 (11:34):
Yeah.
I haven't done like the fullskinning, but I've stuffed, done
like wet, um, I'm sorry, notwet, uh soft stuffs.
So soft mounts are where they'repliable and they move.
So you can like sit it on acouch and stuff.
And hard mounts are like thetypical deer heads and things of
that nature.
So I've fell into that for awhile.
Um COVID.
SPEAKER_03 (11:54):
I got bored and I was just like what's the
weirdest thing someone's everactually asked you to taxidermy?
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
So nobody's ever actually asked me to do
anything.
Okay.
Um, but I had a business thatwas basically, you know, people
were like, they really like thepinned butterflies and stuff
like that with the skulls.
It's not so much people werelike, I want a stuffed duck.
SPEAKER_03 (12:16):
Or like, I want I want you to stuff my dog.
Like my dog tucked away and Iwant you to stuff my dog.
SPEAKER_00 (12:21):
A few years ago, though, I was seeing this guy,
but he did like a lot of drugs,which I was like, whatever.
But he did tell me he's like, mydog just died.
And I was like, Oh, I'm sorry tohear that.
And he's like, I want you tostuff it.
And I was like, Are you sure?
Like, I want you to think aboutthis before you actually ask me
to do this, because you're gonnahave a dead stuffed dog in your
(12:42):
apartment and you do shrooms.
Like, let's just let's digestthis before we commit to go.
How is this gonna go?
Right.
And so I he ended up just waslike, No, I'm just gonna get her
cremated.
And I was like, I think that'sprobably a better decision for
you.
SPEAKER_03 (12:56):
Smart.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (12:57):
So, but I've heard of people stuffing their dogs
because they don't want them toever leave.
Yeah, isn't that kind of creepy?
Would you have a good?
SPEAKER_03 (13:04):
No, I would never do that.
No, I wouldn't know.
I would, I my I come from ahunting family, and so I will
say it's like there's somethingto be said about having your
trophy, right?
But it's like then also we havedealt with this with my
grandpa's things because he wasa big hunter.
Um, and so it's like, you know,he had the coyote and the fox,
(13:26):
and he had the the deer with theyou know, with the rack, and it
is a way to show your trophy,but then it's like we're like,
who wants the stuffed fox fromyou know 20 years ago?
Who wants the coyote like I do?
What does the fox say?
SPEAKER_00 (13:45):
I love that stuff.
I know my whole house isdecorated like that.
SPEAKER_03 (13:48):
Is it really?
That's so funny.
I guess, I guess somebody, Ithink, I think they ended up, my
mom and her sisters ended uptaking a lot of that stuff to
the thrift.
Um, but hopefully it found agood home.
I don't know.
Those things are expensive too,right?
They are to to have an animaltaxiderm or too.
SPEAKER_02 (14:05):
No, to buy like a head, like a deer head or a
cabinet.
SPEAKER_03 (14:09):
I don't think you really buy them.
Yeah, you do.
People buy them to put in theircabins all the time.
I guess, but then you're like aposer because you didn't
actually get it yourself.
I have issues with this.
SPEAKER_02 (14:21):
So you said you call it a trophy.
I have it so do you just huntfor the trophy or do you you eat
the meat and no, we eat all ofthe meat back then?
You use everything, yeah.
Okay, so you're not doing itjust for a game.
Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_03 (14:33):
No, no, but all whatever you have taxidermied,
right, is known as the trophy.
SPEAKER_01 (14:40):
Oh, oh, that's the name of the trophy.
SPEAKER_03 (14:42):
It's the term that's the term in the hunting, like in
the hunting world, like that'sthe term for what you have to
show for your hunt.
So, like my from my brother, forexample, typically does one deer
per season and he jerkies it allout.
And so we have jerky for theentire year.
(15:04):
So we have meat that meat forthe entire year.
Okay.
Um, and then I mean, sometimeshe'd he doesn't usually take it
to the taxidermist, I guess,unless it would be unless he'd
get like a really, really bigbuck that's super impressive
that would make a beautifultrophy on the wall, then yeah,
sure.
But otherwise, no.
Oh, okay.
Got yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:25):
Um so are you looking to get married?
Have you been married before?
I have been married before.
Okay.
Are you looking to getremarried?
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
Are you looking for more kids?
What are you looking for?
Um, I actually can't have anymore kids um fixed, so that I'm
pretty done on that.
Um, I would love to get married.
Like I think that would begreat.
I've I didn't get to have awedding.
So I never got address, I nevergot the whole experience, you
know.
But I don't want to just getmarried to get married, you
know?
So but also that emotionalinability of you know, that I
(15:56):
feel all the time.
Like I don't really know if I'veever actually been in love with
anybody.
I've loved a lot of people.
You didn't love your ex-husband?
I oh no.
Really?
No.
SPEAKER_02 (16:05):
How long were you together for?
Eight years.
Why did you stay with him if youwent in love with him?
SPEAKER_00 (16:09):
Because the kids were like, yeah, and it was it
was a really toxic relationship,and I was really, really young.
I married him when I was like19.
Oh wow, that is young.
Yeah, so and we just actuallygot divorced uh officially in
2021, but we separated in 2017when I moved here.
So it was just and it even tothis day can still be a really
toxic relationship with thekids.
SPEAKER_03 (16:30):
It just did you guys date other people while you were
separated, but before yourdivorce was final?
SPEAKER_00 (16:36):
I did.
I don't think he's dated anyonesince we've split.
I've never seen him with a womanor talk about a woman, and my
kids have never said anythingabout a woman.
So I don't think he's eventried.
SPEAKER_03 (16:48):
Because I see that get brought up a lot in some of
the groups, like the are wedating the same guy groups?
Oh yeah.
Like the having a guy beseparated versus the divorce is
final and should you date whileyou're separated, uh because
you're still technicallymarried, and blah blah blah.
Do you guys have opinions onthat?
Obviously, you dated while youwere separated.
SPEAKER_00 (17:09):
Well, he like skipped um states while I was
going through the divorceprocess.
So it was like I initiated thedivorce really quickly, um, but
I kept having to changeattorneys because there was
things, and then I couldn'tafford the attorney because he
left it kind of high and drywith the kids.
So it was like it was a battle.
Um, and I had to serve him bynewspaper in like four different
(17:29):
states um just because I didn'tknow where he was and he
wouldn't tell me.
So it was a really long process.
And I was dating at the time andwas actually in like a three and
a half year relationship at thatpoint.
Um during the whole constituentuh divorce and separation.
And he was really understanding,like he knew because he saw
firsthand what I was goingthrough, you know.
So he was like, Yeah, youdefinitely don't want to be with
(17:52):
this guy.
I mean, now we have a decentrelationship, but it's taken a
long time to get to that point.
SPEAKER_02 (17:58):
How do you feel about dating someone that's
technically still married, evenif they're separated?
I don't know.
I think I'd have a hard timewith it.
My sister's ex-husband, whenthey first met, he was separated
but not legally divorced, andshe kind of had a bit of a tough
time with it.
Yeah.
But I feel like if you've beenseparated for a long time, and
sometimes it can be a longprocess getting, you know, it
finalized.
SPEAKER_03 (18:18):
And I think it depends on the reason, too,
because I know I've known womenwho drag out divorces because
they want more money or theywant this and that.
Or custody battles, or custodybattles, and so there's that.
SPEAKER_02 (18:34):
I don't know why people drag it out.
Don't you want to be done so youcan close that chapter and move
on?
I would think so.
Unless I guess you don't wantthe divorce.
If the husband's leaving you forsomeone else, yeah, I think it's
like control thing.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (18:45):
Yeah.
Like when, especially like Ihate being like when a
narcissistic, but when somebodywho like has controlled you the
whole entire relationship islike, oh, like they're finally
done with me moving forward, I'mgonna try and manipulate the
situation for as long as Ipossibly can.
And it happens a lot, you know.
I just like I guess if I were toencounter someone who told me
(19:06):
they were going through aseparation, which I have in the
last like six seven months ofbeing single, um, but it just it
wasn't true.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (19:15):
So that's the problem.
And that is the problem, is alot of times someone will say
they're going through aseparation, but they're really
not.
Or they might be, but theintention is still to get back
together.
Yeah, I know life text me.
Like they separate they separateto work on themselves or they
separate to fix their issues,and then the plan is to get back
(19:36):
together.
SPEAKER_00 (19:36):
Yeah, and that happens a lot, you know.
Like, um I think of all thepeople I've actually like
enjoyed in the last few monthsof being single that I've talked
to, they have all been married.
And it didn't come out until theend part of it, like, you know,
finding out actually the are wedating the same people pages,
then you find out and it's like,oh yeah, they're he's married.
(19:58):
And it's like, how okay?
There goes two two months of mytime going back and forth with
this man.
Do they think it's not gonna getback to their wife?
They do.
I think they think they'retrying to be sly about it
because I remember there was oneweekend where um he had drove
out again to East Valley to seeme.
And um we met at like a littlebar next to my old work.
(20:22):
And after he left, I was liketalking to him and we were on
the phone.
He's like, Okay, well, I'mpicking my son up from the
babysitters, and I was like,Okay, weird, but like it's kind
of late, you know?
And he was like, I'll text youor call you later, and then just
like fell off the face of theearth.
And then come Monday morning, hetexted me, he's like, I lost my
phone at the aquarium.
I'm sure you were blowing myphone up all weekend.
(20:45):
And I was like, Well, for one,I'm a grown woman, so if you're
not gonna respond to me afterthe first text, I'm just gonna
leave it.
I wasn't blowing your phone upat all.
I was like, But as a parent, howare you gonna go a whole weekend
without a phone?
Like, if I weren't a parent, Iwouldn't care.
But as a parent, right?
If something were to happen, Idon't have a landline phone, you
(21:06):
know?
So he was foot on still marriedwith his wife, no problems at
all.
And they had multiple children,and he only ever referenced one
child.
He told me that his baby mamadied.
I'm not even joking.
SPEAKER_02 (21:17):
Wow, and I was just like savage, ooh, okay, like can
you imagine hearing your husbandtalk about you that way?
I know like that is bad.
Yeah, that is grounds fordivorce, I'd be done.
SPEAKER_00 (21:29):
Yeah, and but I wasn't the only one.
Like, it had all come out tolight.
There was like many of us thatwere talking to this man during
the same time for months.
What was his name?
Uh Ty.
Ty.
Yeah.
And this all came out on the AreWe Dating the same guy page?
Oh well, and I had posted himinitially a few months after we
like stopped talking, and I waslike, just got a bad gut
(21:49):
feeling, you know, because hewould come back every once in a
while.
Like, you know, they do whenthey get bored.
And so I posted a picture ofhim, and somebody was like, Is
that a wedding photo in thebackground?
And I was like, I didn't evenlook.
And like I couldn't tell, and Izoomed in, you know, and I was
like, I don't know, like, Idon't know whose house that is.
SPEAKER_03 (22:05):
So I couldn't really Yeah, he could be at a friend's
house, he could be at hisparents' house, he could be at
anybody else's house, right?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (22:12):
So and but then all these people were like um
messaging me, and they're like,I know his wife, and they're
like supposed to be happilymarried, have like a brand new
baby, and I was like, Oh, whoa,okay, so the babysitter was just
the wife.
Oh I was like, that's prettygross.
SPEAKER_02 (22:26):
That's crazy.
You know what crack some is theinternet sleuths, like people
that zoom in find weddingfictions.
SPEAKER_00 (22:32):
They do, it's crazy.
You post anything on thesepages, and they're like, Oh,
yeah.
I remember one time I sawsomething that somebody was
like, I just want to know whatthis charge on a receipt is, and
they like found the GPScoordinates and they're like,
It's this place, it's a gasstation.
SPEAKER_02 (22:47):
I was like You cannot get away with anything, I
feel like you're dumb if you'rea guy and you think you can
cheat with multiple women inthis day and age.
SPEAKER_00 (22:54):
I know, yeah, it is insane, but yeah, you know, what
do you can do?
What are your deal breakers?
Um, I don't even know.
But being married, I guess, isone of them.
That's hilarious.
Like, I um recently was had afriend who, you know, was like,
we should get together and youknow, like see what this could
(23:17):
be romantically.
And I'm man.
Um, and I cut it off.
I have a lot of respect for him,but I was like, I want to get
married and I want to be withsomeone who wants to live in the
same household as me, you know,and he wanted to go the opposite
direction and like stay longdistance for until his child
grows up.
And I was like, Yeah, I just Ican't do that.
(23:38):
So I guess that would be a dealbreaker for me, too, is if you
expect me to be in a longdistance relationship with you
for 16 years.
Oh god, probably not a longtime.
Was he open to having you moveto him or no?
So I own my own house and heowns his.
Uh, he doesn't have enough spacefor me and three kids.
I don't have enough space forhis household.
I've got dogs and cats andstuff, you know, because I'm
(24:01):
comfortable in my home.
I also really like my house.
Yeah.
So I'm like, I've done the wholemerging thing and had to give up
part of my lifestyle toaccommodate someone else, and I
don't really want to do itagain.
But I I prefer like single menor women because you can just
move in and move out quick.
Like if something goes sideways,you just grab your stuff and go.
Like, you know, you don't reallyhave any attachments.
(24:24):
But I don't yeah, I also stilljust looking at this as like I'm
still pretty newly single andI'm really enjoying my space and
uh not having someone hog up thebed.
That's really nice.
Do you have any unique talentsthat not many people know about?
SPEAKER_02 (24:39):
No, I mean the cello.
I was gonna say the cello andthe violin, that's impressive.
SPEAKER_00 (24:43):
Um, unique talents.
No, I mean just you know, likethe tax dermy stuff.
I I wouldn't really say it'stalent, it's just practice.
SPEAKER_03 (24:52):
How long did your tattoo sleeve, the like your
blackout, take?
SPEAKER_00 (24:55):
Oh, this took four hours.
SPEAKER_03 (24:57):
And did that did it hurt?
SPEAKER_00 (24:58):
Oh yeah, it hurt so bad.
Did it really still not finish?
Is it a cover?
Is it a cover-up?
Yeah, okay.
My ex-husband designed it forme.
My whole entire sleeve and thebottom half was just it was
disgusting.
And I was like, it's time.
It's been 10 years, we just getrid of it.
SPEAKER_03 (25:14):
Yeah.
Speaking of it being taught ittime, are you ready for it?
I'm ready for it.
The keep more minute brought toyou by Tactical Tax Strategies.
They help you keep more in yourwallet, we help you keep more in
your relationship.
So we have a question that we'regonna talk about.
This one's a little bitlong-winded.
We've got a lot of details onthis one, ladies.
Okay.
(25:35):
I've been talking to this guyfor about a week.
He slid into the DMs, and theconvo has been great so far.
It got sexy flirty really fast,which I'm okay with.
I'm no prude, but I did make itvery clear that I don't exchange
sexually explicit photos untilafter I've been with someone in
person.
Even so, he kept asking with noconcrete plans for a first date.
(26:00):
He calls it being cheeky, but Icall it a lack of respect for my
boundaries.
Am I overreacting if I just letit fizzle out?
If I stick around, I feel likeI'm setting myself up for a
future of disrespect andmanipulation.
SPEAKER_02 (26:15):
Next.
That's all he wants, is onething, right?
Of any guy from my past when Iwas single and dating online, if
they start off with the sex talkand wanting pictures, that's all
they want.
Right?
Like if you're interested ingetting to know someone and
actually pursuing somethingserious, then you don't go that
route.
Do you agree?
I agree.
SPEAKER_00 (26:32):
Yeah, I think that in ultimately you do that, you
open the doors, you have sexwith them, and then they're
gonna ghost you anyways.
It's so true.
Like if they don't have anyintention to stick around
whatsoever.
SPEAKER_02 (26:45):
So I feel if she wants just a sexual
relationship, then that's fine,entertain it.
But if if you're looking formore, nope, move on.
So funny, so funny story.
SPEAKER_03 (26:53):
The key warm in it, the key warm in it was me.
This happened to me last week.
SPEAKER_01 (27:01):
What?
SPEAKER_03 (27:01):
Uh-huh.
And I just I wanted to see if ifthe other ladies would be on my
side.
You on the side of your side.
Well, yeah.
So I basically I told him, like,you have no respect for my
boundaries.
Is this someone we know I know?
No.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (27:12):
So is this a random person from so you were
interested?
Uh-huh.
But you're never interested in agirl.
SPEAKER_03 (27:17):
I know.
I know.
I know, never.
So you actually just wanted thesex stuff.
No, I don't, so I don't know.
I still am not a hundredpercent.
I kept telling him I'm I'mtrying to suss out your
intentions because I'm not surewhat they are.
Because we had really greatconversation.
But then he would pass myboundaries and I'd be like, I've
(27:37):
already told you my boundary onthis multiple times.
So why are you still trying topush it?
Oh, that's annoying.
And so and so to me, I feltdisrespected because he wasn't
hearing what I was saying.
I'm okay with sexy flirting,it's fun.
And he and he was from New York,and so he's lives far away,
(27:58):
which I also don't mind longdistance.
Um, and so that was my thing, isI was like, this is my boundary.
It is okay.
We can flirt and we can talk andwe can talk about sex, that's
fine, but this is my boundary.
And every single time he wouldtry to push, push, push the
boundary.
And I just felt that it wasdisrespectful.
It is when I was very clearabout my boundary.
SPEAKER_02 (28:21):
It shows that he's not really listening, you know?
And like you said, notrespecting your boundaries.
SPEAKER_00 (28:24):
So yeah.
But also something I ran intotoo is like if you're not
FaceTiming them to like makesure they are who they are.
I've ran across like numerousaccounts from Tinder and stuff
like that that were actual fakepeople and still had nudes of
the people they were pretendingto be.
SPEAKER_03 (28:41):
My ex used to do that.
I had an ex who was a catfish onTinder.
No, this guy we we've FaceTimeda couple of times.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (28:48):
Yeah, because it scares me because I'm like,
what?
And you know, it happened to me.
And I was like, what happened ifI were to send you pictures of
me like that?
Like, are you just spreadingthem around the internet?
Are you using them to catfishother people?
SPEAKER_03 (28:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (28:58):
Like, what's going on?
Yeah, how did we get here?
It's that's terrifying.
SPEAKER_03 (29:03):
It is, it is super scary.
No, I also realized with thisone that I have a new ick.
I've unlocked a new ick.
What is it?
If he doesn't make his bed inthe morning, really?
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
Yeah.
I've talked to many where I'mlike, do you make your bed in
the morning?
And they're just like, what?
SPEAKER_02 (29:19):
And I'm like, it's But if they're not having guests
over, like, who are they makingit for themselves?
SPEAKER_03 (29:24):
Like, yes, of course.
Because they're disciplined andthey're responsible adults.
But then also, I could I I wentback and forth because I was
like, yes, it's an ick, but alsoI make the bed every day.
So do I need my partner to makethe bed every day?
Probably not because I'm becauseI'm gonna do it anyways.
I'm gonna make both sides.
SPEAKER_02 (29:44):
I feel like that's something you can get over, work
through, right?
It's asking to make the bed andhopefully he'll make the bed.
SPEAKER_03 (29:48):
It is, it is something that you can work
through, but it's something thatit adds a point to the negative
side when I'm considering like,do I want to continue
entertaining this or not?
He doesn't even make that bed.
SPEAKER_02 (30:04):
Uh-huh.
And it's something that he hasand he gets mad if I don't.
So he normally makes it, butthen I've started to do it.
Because I know it's important tohim.
So if if I can get the chance todo it before him, I'll do it
before him to make him happy.
Yeah.
So we are going to discuss theindustries that have the highest
divorce rates.
So military, military personnelcheat with other military
(30:27):
personnel because they'reusually in close quarters and
their side pieces with them, youknow, when they travel.
But also the spouses at homecheat too, don't they?
I mean, since we've heard, so Ifeel like it's both.
Firemen and police.
Oh, I've heard that.
I guess that the divorce rate'ssuper high.
But the theory for this, firemenand policemen, is that they
experience trauma and have nocoping skills and they suppress
(30:49):
their emotions, which has to dowith the that and I've also
heard that that with lawenforcement officers, the abuse
rate is really high.
SPEAKER_03 (30:58):
And so I think that's why the divorce rate,
that's another reason why thedivorce rate is really high.
SPEAKER_02 (31:02):
Divose rate, what, the wives?
The domestic abuse.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh shoot.
Unfortunate.
Pilots, because they have theopportunity because they're
never home and they're travelingand they usually cheat with
flight attendants.
Um apparently CEOs who attendColdplay concerts.
Um another theory is thatprofessions that are separated
from their spouse have a highdivorce rate, which makes sense,
(31:24):
right?
Like traveling salespeople andthat kind of thing.
Then I also had um how to tellif your spouse is cheating.
So when they change theirroutine, when they get
secretive, obviously, if theyhave changes in their social
media.
Have you ever had a guy cheatand seen changes?
SPEAKER_03 (31:42):
Not no.
I've never had a long-termpartner cheat on me in like the
traditional sense.
I dated the guy who wascatfishing, but that was I
consider that like a mentalhealth.
That was some that was so muchcrazy.
That was so much deeper thanjust going out and cheating.
I've never had an ex that Icaught cheating.
(32:05):
Have you?
SPEAKER_00 (32:06):
Yeah.
How did you find out?
Well, usually their wives reachout to them.
Yeah.
I was actually in that highschool, I had this guy that I
was dating.
Um, it was high school, youknow.
But after uh he got shipped offto the Navy, he and I like
rekindled stuff and he wanted tomarry me or whatever.
And we like planned this wholething.
(32:27):
And then I found out he wasalready married and she lived
with him.
And I was like, I was theproblem, apparently, at that
point.
But I've got a really bad recordwith dating.
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02 (32:38):
Don't they say though that statistically, like,
what is it?
40% of men online are married.
It's like a high statistic.
It could even be higher thanthat.
SPEAKER_03 (32:45):
Yeah, it's like scary high.
That are online dating that arelike on the dating apps.
I haven't read that.
I believe it though.
SPEAKER_02 (32:52):
Yeah.
So I dated a guy once that wascheating on me, and I could tell
because he was always all of asudden he's like, Oh, I'm gonna
spend this weekend with mynephews.
I'm gonna hang out with mynephews.
And it's like, okay, why can't Icome?
Or I'm gonna go to happy outwith my family.
Can you just wait at home forme?
And it's like, well, why aren'tyou inviting me?
Little things like that, makingplans, but doesn't invite you,
you know?
(33:12):
So um, scientific signs, a manis cheating.
And this is said by a woman.
If they're pulling away, youfeel emotional distance, you
feel something's changed, ifthey start talking about how
they know her, like they subtlybring her into the conversation,
like this girl at work, and shelike pops up regularly in
conversation.
When you mention her, and theyautomatically say, Oh no, no,
(33:32):
no, she's not my type, they getdefensive, you know.
Um, he dresses differently,starts talking differently,
wants to align himself with her,starts liking things that she
likes.
If they start drinking differentbeer like Michael Ultra, has
different desires, if theybecome critical and irritable of
you.
Uh, cheaters start small, theyplan a solo event, like a lunch
(33:54):
or a dinner or to walk the dogs,but from the moment they
verbalize a meetup with theirside piece, then you do not
exist to him.
You're done.
He has tunnel vision of hookingup with her.
It's a steep slope from thismoment to physically cheating.
So, and then from a man, I saw aTikTok video, a man's
perspective, this is how youknow when a man is cheating,
when everything you do bothershim, when they act like they're
(34:16):
busy all the time, don't havetime for you, when he has random
depressed stages, when he startsacting distant and cold, and
when you can feel it in yourgut.
I feel like women should alwaystrust their gut, right?
Can't you feel it when they'recheating?
You just know something's wrong.
SPEAKER_00 (34:28):
You feel it when and they do anything wrong.
Yeah, it's just like, ooh, likethe ick.
Uh-huh.
It's like that felt weird, andthen it just goes downhill from
there.
Yeah, that's how intuition.
My friends are like, How do youfigure this stuff out so quickly
about men?
You just start talking to themlike because I feel it in my
gut.
I've experienced so much of itwhere it's just like a constant
cycle.
SPEAKER_02 (34:48):
Now it's time for the celebrity cut.
We'll be marinate in the juicesof the celebrities.
So you know Bonnie Blue, right?
No.
Do you so do you want to tellher who Bonnie Blue is?
Bonnie Blue is this Englishonly.
SPEAKER_03 (35:00):
Yeah, I guess she was on OnlyFans, and she she
what did she do?
Sleep with 2000.
SPEAKER_02 (35:07):
Bagging the most men in 24 hours.
SPEAKER_03 (35:09):
So what was it, 2000?
2,000 something, I think.
SPEAKER_02 (35:12):
So she did this event where she wanted to break
the record.
So she filmed this event, andthere were guides lining up.
Um, I think she broke the 2000record.
There was a documentary about itor a film.
That's why they did this forcontent.
A lady was sitting at her housewatching this documentary, saw a
guy, the last guy in line whohad tattoos.
(35:34):
It was her husband.
No.
Her husband was the last guy inline.
That's how she caught himcheating.
That's how she caught himcheating.
He applied to be one of the menthat Bonnie Blue bangs and was
the last one.
So technically he banged 20 men,you know?
Oh, but like King, she's like,his tattoos were, you know, his
tattoos, they're verydetectable.
(35:54):
Yes, my imagine.
SPEAKER_00 (35:55):
That's what gets most people in trouble.
Right?
The tattoos.
SPEAKER_03 (35:58):
Yeah, it's like yeah.
Anyone recognize this tattoo?
Yep.
There's that happens a lot onthose are we dating the same guy
groups?
Because I feel like girls cansneak tattoos of like a guy's
arm or something like that moreeasily than they can sneak a
picture of his face.
And so there are there are postslike that quite often that are
like, is this anyone's man?
(36:20):
I know you'll I don't need topost a picture of his face
because you'll recognize thetattoos.
SPEAKER_02 (36:24):
Funny.
SPEAKER_03 (36:25):
So crazy.
Imagine.
I can't imagine watching thedocumentary.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00 (36:32):
Well, was there any vetting for that process at all?
Or was it just like no?
SPEAKER_03 (36:36):
I think they just I think they just had to have a
penis.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
I wonder if they even use thecondom, but I would hope so.
They I mean they have to.
SPEAKER_00 (36:44):
Uh that doesn't stop a lot of other STDs.
It's true.
Yeah, it's true.
SPEAKER_02 (36:49):
One of the photographers came out, did an
interview, and was like, thesmell was so bad in that room.
So nasty.
Gnarly.
It's so nasty.
So where's your favorite placeto go on a first date?
SPEAKER_00 (36:59):
Oh goodness.
Um, so I recently decided I likebowling when my nails are
shorter and I can get my fingersin the hole.
Um, but I've only I went to thezoo on one date.
That was cool, but we walkedlike eight million miles and it
was really hot.
So it kind of sucked.
Yeah.
But just I don't know.
Yeah, I'm after actually afterthat date, he took me to Barnes
and Noble.
(37:20):
I have a like wall-to-wallbookshelf in my bedroom.
So I love books.
So I had to pick out a fewbooks.
That was fun.
But anything that's like thatwhere you can like talk and you
know try to make a connection.
Yeah, you know, and a lot oflike, hey, we should just meet
for a drink, but that like isuncomfortable for me.
(37:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (37:41):
Now it's time to get to know you with Zoyo, sponsored
by your neighborhood yogurt.
Zoyo, if you want to pick thetop card, summer vanilla, summer
not so vanilla.
SPEAKER_00 (37:53):
What is the kinkiest thing you've ever done?
That's a good one.
What is the kinkiest thing I'veever done?
Um, I mean I don't know.
I I guess I guess we're nippleclamps.
So it was fine.
(38:15):
It's like that was fine.
SPEAKER_02 (38:16):
Has a guy ever asked you to do something?
Can you like hell no?
SPEAKER_00 (38:20):
Well, yeah.
So my one ex was like obsessedwith anal.
And um we had a situation wherewe were actually just having
normal sex, and I came down toohard and it hit me.
Oh, and I almost threw up.
And I was like, okay, and hekept asking for anal, and I was
(38:41):
like, I love you.
I can't.
I experienced that within ourfirst week of dating, and it was
so painful that I could never dothat.
And it was kind of like actuallymake or break for our
relationship because it wassomething he really wanted, and
I just was like, No, I can't doit.
Wow, it that sucked really bad.
But I just I like I said, I'm alot of vanilla, I don't have a
(39:02):
lot of vanilla sex, but myexperiences have been really
vanilla, but I have likefantasies, you know, where I'm
like, oh yeah, that's what I'msaying.
What are your fantasies?
So you know, book talk.
I was gonna say book talk girl,of course you have fantasies,
yeah.
You know, like nothing as crazyas like haunting Adeline, but
like I love ghost face.
I've got ghost face masks andlike different, you know, horror
(39:24):
villain masks, where I'm like,yeah, that would be hot.
Yeah, but I have to find a manthat is more than just a piece
of meat to do it, you know.
But yeah, I like the ghost facemasks.
I think those are really fun.
SPEAKER_02 (39:35):
That'd be interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (39:37):
Do you like scary movies?
SPEAKER_02 (39:39):
Yes.
unknown (39:40):
Do you like scary penis?
SPEAKER_02 (39:43):
Not scary penis, no.
So do you want him just toweather, or do you want him to
like chase you around the house?
Oh yeah, like whole roleplaying.
Oh, yeah, whole role playing.
SPEAKER_00 (39:52):
I mean, because it's like it's consensual, right?
You know it's gonna happen, sobut it like gives you a little
bit of an adrenaline boost.
And like sometimes fear is kindof a turn-on where it's like,
oh, don't catch me, but you'regonna catch me.
SPEAKER_02 (40:06):
My husband dated a girl that she wanted him to
chase her around with a knife.
Like she always wanted him to dothat.
I'm like, did you?
SPEAKER_00 (40:14):
I don't know that I'd want like a real knife,
right?
SPEAKER_01 (40:17):
Scary.
SPEAKER_00 (40:18):
Like, if you got the plastic ones to like get into
the role play, but if you havelike a real knife, I might, you
know, trip and fall and you gotstab actually.
SPEAKER_03 (40:26):
Yeah, there's a there's real risks associated
with a gone wrong.
SPEAKER_00 (40:31):
Yeah, you do need boundaries with that.
That's funny.
SPEAKER_02 (40:35):
Well, thank you so much for joining us this week at
the meat market.
And thank you so much, Elle.
If you want to go on a date withElle, send us a DM at Meat
Market Podcast.
And thank you so much to oursponsor, Tactical Tax
Strategies.
If you want to keep more of yourown money in your wallet, you
need to go to Tactical TaxStrategies.
We'll see you next week at theMeat Market.
Oh my god, I just totally gotcatfished.
(40:57):
He looks absolutely nothing likehis picture.
SPEAKER_03 (41:00):
So I found out the guy that I've been dating is
married with kids.
His wife just reached out to me.
Host
Lyndsie and Jess
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