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September 8, 2025 37 mins
Sometimes being “nice” isn’t so nice—it’s self-abandonment in disguise. In this episode, we learn about the fourth trauma response from Dr. Ingrid Clayton, a licensed clinical psychologist, trauma recovery expert, and author of Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back. Ingrid brings over 20 years of clinical experience helping people break free from trauma responses that no longer serve them. Her Psychology Today blog, Emotional Sobriety, has reached over a million readers, and her work has become a lifeline for anyone ready to stop twisting themselves into knots just to feel safe, seen, or accepted. Together, we dig into the lesser-known trauma response of fawning—what it really looks like, how it shows up in women’s lives, and how it’s different from (but connected to) codependency and people-pleasing. More importantly, Ingrid shares how to start unfawning so you can reclaim your voice, your needs, and your full self. We cover: The difference between compassion and compulsion How fawning hides in plain sight as “being nice” or “helpful” Why women are especially conditioned to default to fawning How to notice when you’re fawning in real time Practical ways to build internal safety and stop outsourcing your worth Because survival mode kept you safe, but it will never help you thrive. Connect with Ingrid: Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/  Book: https://www.amazon.com/Fawning-Need-Please-Makes-Ourselves/dp/B0DPZ3D78B IG: https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd/  Related Podcast Episodes: People-Pleasing & Being “Needy” with Mara Glatzel | 147 How To Practice Radical Self Care with Shelly Tygielski | 302 The Power of Enough with Elizabeth Husserl | 299 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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