Amy and Margaret sit down with sociologist and author Allison Daminger to unpack the cognitive labor many of us fail to recognize in our families' daily lives— what's come to be known as the "mental load."
In her new book WHAT'S ON HER MIND: The Mental Workload of Family Life, Allison unpacks her years of research to explain how cognitive labor—anticipating needs, planning, decision-making, and follow-up—shapes family dynamics and falls disproportionately on women.
Allison explains why this imbalance persists, how gender socialization influences our roles at home, and what couples can do to shift from default patterns to intentional choices.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
What “cognitive labor” really is and why it matters
Why moms carry the mental load by default
How personality and gender norms shape family responsibilities
The differences in how queer and straight couples divide mental work
The impact of unequal cognitive labor on stress, leisure, and opportunity
Practical steps toward more balanced, intentional partnerships
Here's where you can find Allison:
Buy WHAT'S ON HER MIND: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780691245386
Allison’s Substack: Daminger Dispatch
Allison’s website: allisondaminger.com
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invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, mental load, cognitive load, cognitive labor, emotional labor, second shift,
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