A Life, Folded
Welcome to a space of safety, acceptance, and understanding. Where we frankly and bravely dialogue about the harmful effects of pornography, betrayal trauma, and narcissistic emotional abuse. We’ll explore reclaiming your core self by more thoroughly understanding these heartbreakingly complex interpersonal situations, no matter your relationship status. You are not alone in your pain, shame, and disbelief about a reality that can feel like a living nightmare. You might have thought you had a near-perfect relationship and devoted partner. I did. A Life, Folded is hosted by Lainey Cathan, a divorced, Christian woman. A little about Lainey: many years ago, I made the devasting discovery of my husband’s hidden life. Eventually, I chose to leave my decades-long union after trying everything humanly possible to save him and our marriage. Once his mask was removed, my unfaithful addict and covert narcissist husband cruelly and deliberately set out to destroy my heart and soul. I promised myself if I survived his horrible discard behaviors, I would dedicate my life to help others in the same situation. I’m here to help you take a journey from the dark unknown forward into healing and empowering knowledge. Onward. #alifefolded #pornkillslove #betrayaltrauma #emotionalabuse #narcissist #narcissisticawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove
Episodes
After learning that I was married to a narcissist, I began doing a lot of research to learn and make sense of my life. I was so surprised to read that one common complaint about narcissists is their purposeful habit of interrupting the proper sleep and rest of their partners. That had been my experience too; I had no idea I was not alone in living this through this kind of manipulative behavior. Why would someone who claims to love...
Have you suffered issues with depression after being betrayed by your intimate partner? If you have, please know that this is an extremely normal reaction to such a jarring and traumatizing event in life, but it seems that it is not spoken about as frequently as other health issues. Have you also found that when you are vulnerable and open up about your struggles, the supportive reaction that you hoped for is not always evident? Wh...
His porn use must have something to do with you, right? If you looked more like a porn star, had the surgical enhancements they have, he'd stop, right? You can change and that will make him change, right? WRONG. Porn use, emotional affairs, and nefarious cheating has nothing to do with you and it never has. This is about an individual is choosing to hide behind porn use instead of addressing their character flaws, pain, shame, and ...
How can we discern if behaviors in our relationship are simply troubling or moving into an area where undue influence is being exerted? The concern with manipulation is that it is slow and insidious in its progression such that it eventually begins to feel normal, caring even. We can at times worry that those we love, or even ourselves, are being manipulated. But how do we know? This episode explores some of the common tactics used...
Hoovering is a common tactic used by cluster b personality disordered individuals to suck their sources of supply back in to their cycle of abuse and drama. What is hoovering? How do you know what is real and what has been made up to influence you? How do you recognize hoovering tactics? Why is it dangerous? And, how do you protect yourself from the narcissist's unending toxic cycle of love bombing, denigration, and discard?
#alife...
It is common to hear things such as: porn hurts no one! It's a harmless past time! It protects me and actually keeps me from cheating. Nonsense. If individuals don't understand that porn is cheating, they need a bracing reality check. This episode delves further into how porn is permanently damaging not only the self-esteem and feelings of self-worth of the partner but ALSO the consumer of porn.
#alifefolded #stopporn #pornography...
Why would people who have been your friends, neighbors, or even family members suddenly start to vilify and lie about you? Well, if you are removing yourself from a relationship with a narcissist or cluster b-personality disordered individual, they have to have individuals who support and champion them, no matter what horrible behavior they engage in. Hello, flying monkeys! Why do fly...
What if what makes you the most attractive to others is when you are living your authentic life, healing, discovering yourself, and not inhabiting a space where you tell yourself you can only be happy when you have a partner?
#alifefolded #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #selflovematters #selfcare #datingafterdivorce #datingafterbetrayal
After doing a lot of research, I learned that one common complaint about narcissists is their unsafe and erratic driving patterns. Why do so many narcissists drive unsafely?
#alifefolded #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101
This podcast often delves into painful subjects about abuse and betrayal and the resultant loss of dreams, loneliness, and the shattering effects from the potential dissolution of your family. However, there are joys to being single. It is wonderful to be freed from the shackles of a dysfunction partner and relationship and learn the beauty of thriving alone.
#alifefolded #postdivorce #postdivorcelife #narcissist #narcissisticabus...
When you have made the painful decision to divorce, it is sometimes easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you need to catch them just one more time in doing something wrong before the divorce is final. This can be especially true if you were married to an emotionally abusive partner who wore down your ability to trust yourself. When you know it is time to leave your marriage, you need no more reasons or vindication. It's okay...
When you decide it is time to divorce your narcissistic spouse, prepare for the battle of your life. Yes, the narcissist is going to make it nasty and miserable. Yes, they are probably going to drag it out and fight everything reasonable you ask for. But there are tools to help you stay strong, get what you are legally entitled to, and keep your forward momentum forward toward peace.
#divorcinganarcissist #alifefolded #postdivorce...
Narcissists and Cluster B personality-disordered individuals are infamous for using money to control, manipulate, and abuse. Expect behaviors from them that don't make sense, particularly if you are divorcing them. In general, narcissists are irresponsible with money, because their lives are all about looking good, even if that is only a surface view. It's important to guard and take the time to be thorough in protecting yourselves...
Are you experiencing a sense of dread with fall rolling around, knowing that soon you will have to face the holidays alone? This is completely normal for anyone who has lived through betrayal trauma and is navigating the holidays as a single individual, for perhaps the first time in their lives. Acknowledge that this is hard. Cry if you need to, but perhaps also consider ways of building small moments of joy for yourself during thi...
Social media is a fantastic tool to help us stay connected and engaged with friends and acquaintances. It also can be a trap where we envy people's carefully curated posts and photos and begin the comparison game. It is easy to feel like you're less than when comparing your messy insides to a limited, and selected, snapshot glimpse of another's life. And, if you are moving on from a narcissist, they are going to splash their "wonde...
Loneliness is probably the most common emotion that people who are single experience. But is loneliness bad? Is it something to be feared and changed as soon as possible? Not necessarily. What are the positive aspects of loneliness and how can those sometimes unwanted and uncomfortable feelings fuel your healing and potential future relationships for the better?
#alifefolded #lonely #loneliness #lonelywoman
Have you ever felt like your healing and ability to move on is hinging on the person who has wronged you giving you closure? That the explanation of their "why" is mission-critical for you to be able to find peace? Is their apology and explanation truly necessary in order for you to regain direction and clarity as well as an ability to reclaim your life? No. By their actions, people often give us the closure we need, even if we don...
This episode further debunks the porn myths that "it doesn't hurt anyone" or "it's normal" or "everyone does it" with a hard look at the porn industry's direct ties to the human trafficking trade. Let's educate ourselves about the truth and speak out about human enslavement and objectivation. And let's hold porn users accountable for their personal contribution to sexual slavery.
Do you ever feel like you are an other? That the only people in the world who are truly happy are married individuals? Statistics show that in the United States there are equal numbers of married and single people. So why do we feel different? Pain and trauma play a factor. As do movies, books, and tv. "Helpful" friends and family members actually don't help when they say they just want you to be happy...and that means in a relatio...
There are an estimated one billion narcissists and Cluster B personality-disordered individuals on our planet right now. Why do they seem to relish ruining important events? Birthday parties, graduations, family gatherings, vacations, nothing is sacred or immune to their pouting, anger, and outright rage. Even, and sometimes especially, big milestone events in their own children's lives. But if we have knowledge, expect these beha...
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