A Life, Folded

Sexual coercion is often described like this quote taken from the National Domestic Violence Hotline: "Have you ever felt pressured by your partner to have sex? Have you ever felt guilted into it, or felt like you weren’t able to say no? Abuse is often centered on power and control in all aspects of the relationship, so it’s not uncommon that an abusive partner will try to force intimacy.

This is often referred to as se...

Being deeply wounded by unhealthy and toxic individuals can cast a shadow over our entire lives and damage our self-worth. Do we keep allowing cluster b personality disordered individuals into our lives, destroying our peace? Or have we been hurt by someone with an attachment wound? How are narcissists and avoidant attachment style individuals similar? How do the differ? How do we spot them? How do we heal so we can forever open ou...

As we navigate life after experiencing betrayal trauma or post-divorce, we find many who share similar experiences. Being deeply hurt by a person they loved and were devoted to. The shock and grief of finding out they have been cheated on. We don't have to suffer in silence and shame. We can reach out for support if we so choose. We can refuse to accept the blame of toxic individuals in our lives. We have a voice. We all have an un...

Narcissists are master manipulators of everyone and everything. Of their family. Of their workplace. Of their congregation. But, they are especially concerned about managing their public persona. That whatever mask they like to wear, that people see them in that light. The helpful neighbor who abuses their family behind closed doors. The fun-loving colleague who is running you down and trying to destroy your career behind your back...

After suffering through betrayal trauma, you might experience severe brain fog, an inability to remember, trouble making even basic decisions, lack of focus, and difficulties performing tasks that require deeper thinking. Has betrayal trauma permanently changed your IQ? Are you now stupid? No. There can be a temporary drop in IQ after suffering through intense emotional experiences. Let's look at the science of what happens after b...

An unhealthy parents vehemently fights to gain custody of children they don't want to take care of. A parent drains resources to bribe a child's loyalty. Children are induced to move in, only to be treated like garbage once they have left the sanctity of a home with a safe parent. Why do narcissists weaponize their own children? The sad truth is that narcissists don't care about anyone other than themselves. People are just tools t...

BIG NEWS! A Life, Folded will be published in paperback, audiobook, and e-book on Tuesday, September 8, 2026. The pre-order for the Kindle book is open on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H668HWB4

Sometimes it is easier to stay in victim mode after you have been so deeply hurt. Doing the work to move through abuse and betrayal trauma can be one of the most epic lifelong battles we are forced to encounter. But there are da...

When you are suffering through betrayal trauma, narcissistic abuse, or the end of your relationship, it is easy to start catastrophizing both your present and future. Dire scenarios of doom and gloom keep you awake all night. If you imagine all the worse scenarios happening, it will be easier to deal with them when they do. Right? Not necessarily. Statistically, there is as much chance of the best happening as the worse. After not ...

Why does your narcissistic ex-partner, alienated friend or family member reach out to you at random times? Why do they keep reappearing in your life, in strange ways? It is because the narcissist or other Cluster B Personality disordered-individuals will do literally anything to get you to engage with them. If you were ever a reliable source of narcissistic fuel or supply, they will tweak you, and even do things that embarrass or p...

After years and decades of living with emotionally abusive partners, the insidious mistreatment begins to feel like a normal part of everyday life. It is often only through the lens of others that we understand how dysfunctional our lives have become. But we have a right to exert strong boundaries and take the time and distance away from abuse to ascertain whether or not we are safe.

#alifefolded #laineycathan #financialabuse #emot...

After people have experienced betrayal trauma, you oftwn hear them say things like, "Everything inside me shattered when I found out." Or, "I felt like I got punched in the stomach." Or, "My heart broke into a million pieces." So why do people often describe betrayal trauma in terms of physical pain? Because extreme betrayal releases a cocktail of stress hormones and sends our body into fight-flight-or freeze mode. These reactions ...

One common trait of both narcissists and addicts is they often play the blame game, shifting their bad behavior off onto others. Especially when emotional abuse is present, it become easy, normal even, to accept the blame. It must be my fault, right? Sometimes that is easier than accepting the destructive patterns of those we love. But, it isn't your fault. This is gaslighting. You can not force someone to act out, no matter how an...

For many of us, a bulk of our adult lives have been focused on managing an addicted or narcissistic partner. When we decide we wish to work toward personal healing after abuse, it can be a hard habit to break to not want to rescue or unduly concern ourselves on the behavior of others. Post divorce, it can be easy to cast doubt on yourself with regard to your decisions toward further relationships. Healing really is about championin...

Have you ever been on the receiving end of something where the giver insists they are serving you, yet, it’s impossible to feel grateful because it isn’t something you ever wanted or asked for? What you did request in clear language was completely ignored and the giver substituted something else entirely, yet they were upset when you aren’t excited about what they have deigned to give you?

Narcissists are famous, ...

Porn is not a harmless pastime. It chips away at relationships. It damages intimacy. It destroys trust. This episode discusses what is happening in the porn user's body, mind, and soul. The news of pornography's devastating effects is troubling, but there is also great hope of healing, change, and reclamation. 

#alifefolded #laineycathan #stopporn #pornography #pornkills #pornkillslove #pornaddiction #nomore #fightthenewdrug

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We all have natural expectations with committed relationships--that our spouse or partner will be there for us during difficult times. After all, don't we promise in poverty and wealth, in sickness and health? Everyone knows that life brings ups and downs for all relationships. But, that person you have given so much love and support to will do the same when you need a little help. Right? Sadly, partners of narcissistic individuals...

Have you ever had someone respond to your troubles with something like, "Well, I choose to focus on gratitude and what I do have versus what I don't." Ouch! Gratitude is an amazing, and necessary, emotion. Expressing gratitude can do much to improve our lives. However, it can also be a trap. If we constantly force ourselves to put a positive spin on anything that happens, we can repress our feelings versus processing them. We can a...

There is a somewhat predicable pattern that narcissists use when securing their next source of supply or fuel. Or, when keeping their current supply at the ready. That is targeting, love bombing, devaluing, and discarding. This cycle will continually perpetuate itself unless we become educated, aware, and boundaried. We have a right be loved and honored by healthy individuals. Only we can end the narcissistic cycle of toxicity and ...

When you hear of someone struggling, do you want to jump in and help? Solve the problem? Or tell them how you know exactly how they feel? Well, congratulations, you are just like everyone else! It is a beautiful facet of human behavior that we want to help. But, ironically, when we say things with intended empathy such as, "I know exactly how you feel," we actually aren't displaying empathy. Even in very similar circumstances, we c...