Diagnosis Isn’t Destiny: ADHD, Reality Checks, and Radical Accountability

In this episode of ADHD Realities, Dr. Borneman sits down with Dr. Jessica McCarthy a licensed neuropsychologist and clinical psychologist, for a no-BS, deeply validating conversation about what it really means to live with ADHD in a world not designed for our brains.

Together, they unpack the messy middle between medical models and neurodiversity movements, and explore the danger of relying too heavily on diagnosis as identity. This isn’t just another “what is ADHD?” episode, it’s a raw, unscripted look at self-compassion, environmental disconnects, grief, and the hard truth that sometimes… effort alone isn’t enough.

Expect laughs, F-bombs, and real talk about:

• Why the pendulum swing from pathology to “ADHD is a superpower” leaves people unsupported

• The social media myths that do more harm than help

• Diagnosing vs. functioning and what schools actually get right

• The difference between support and avoidance

• And how both professionals are navigating this in their personal lives too

Whether you’re newly diagnosed, long time late diagnosed, or just trying to figure out why nothing seems to “work”, this episode is your reminder that you’re not lazy, but there is work to be done in ways that work with our brains and the realities, not against them.

🎧 Grab your coffee, put your phone on do not disturb, and let’s get radically honest.

Who is Dr. McCarthy? 

Dr. McCarthy is a licensed clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist, specializing in neuropsychological and psychoeducational assessments and cognitive-behavioral therapy for children through adults. She focuses on neurodivergent populations, including ADHD, autism, and learning differences, and conducts medically-driven assessments for conditions like TBI, stroke, and dementia. Dr. McCarthy uses evidence-based behavior therapies such as ACT and CBT, and enjoys working with young adults and women of all ages navigating life transitions. Her approach emphasizes understanding the brain-behavior relationship and providing actionable recommendations for patients and families. She has worked in schools, medical settings, and private practice, offering a wide range of specialty care. Dr. McCarthy is also a recognized speaker and media contributor on topics related to neuropsychology and mental health.  

How to find Dr. McCarthy? Website IG: @elements_psych @dr.jessica.mccarthy  Check out the new office location in Chatham, NJ