Exploring Kink & Dominance: A Deep Dive with Mistress Jennifer Hex

In this episode, Skye is joined by the esteemed professional Dominatrix, Mistress Jennifer Hex. Jennifer shares her journey into domination, her approach to transformational BDSM play, and her favorite techniques and tools. The discussion delves into the psychological aspects of BDSM, the intricacies of power exchange, and the importance of aftercare. Jennifer also reveals some of her personal preferences and fantasies, offering a unique perspective on dominance and submission. Tune in for an enlightening conversation that goes beyond the basics and dives deep into the world of kink.

Episode Transcript

(00:05):
Welcome, kinky Friend.
I am Skye, and this is the Aftercare podcast where we normalize the conversation around kink, love, sex, and everything in between.
And today I am thrilled to welcome a very special friend and a fellow mistress, miss Jennifer Hex.
Hex is a professional dominant who brings grace, intention and intensity to transformational BDSM play.

(00:26):
By leading with curiosity, she allows submissives to explore unfamiliar spaces and deep desires.
Some of her favorite ways to play include couple and group play, fire, play, and tease and denial.
Her approach is rooted in care, precision, and deep psychological insight, helping subs lean into their edges and unlock new.

(00:49):
Experiences as a nine, as a non-binary athlete.
She also brings an enthusiasm to strap play, which I can attest to allowing both men and women to experience the full height of pleasure while providing intentional containers as a dom to explore these things with physical and emotional safety.
Now, as she steps further into the realm of content creation and audio visual storytelling, she's finding joy, uplifting submissives around the world with her sillier side as well.

(01:19):
So settle in, because today we're going beyond safe words and the basics of kink.
We're talking about transformation, embodiment, and the real work of submission was someone who knows how to hold space for all.
Welcome to the Aftercare Podcast.
Thank you so much for having me.
Happy to be here.
So I figured I have a whole lot of topics.
We're gonna see what we get through.

(01:40):
I'm just really excited to talk to you and dive into a lot of these things, and I figured it would be really fun to talk about our origin story a little bit.
Yeah.
Do you wanna share with the whole world and with me how we met? Absolutely.
I'll be happy to.
We kind of go way back at this point.
Mm-hmm.
Um, we originally met at a retreat called Love and Leather, which was run by Mistress Collette Perve and Dr.

(02:05):
Ka Meyer.
Up in the Bay Area and we got into a lot of kinky stuff.
We did.
It was very based in BDSM, but also Tantra.
So a lot of breath work, a lot of things like dirty talk, kind of the topics that you know are a little bit mushy and was a great place I think for us to meet because it opened up a lot of big conversations pretty early on.

(02:26):
Yeah, you were one of the first people I met who was open about being ethically non-monogamous, for example, and into pegging and already exploring that with your partner.
And I remember meeting him and being like.
Oh my goodness.
You are amazing and clearly we're also a great disciplined student.
I think we met in a container where it was like, all right, we're all here to learn.

(02:49):
Like there's plenty of skills to pick up and things to do, and was very impressed with you from the get go.
Thanks.
Yeah, that was something that.
I've always been really drawn to about you as well as as a professional student myself.
I see that in you, and there's so much trust that I have in you because of that, because you are constantly learning, you are constantly evolving.

(03:11):
You have self-awareness.
You are constantly practicing as well, like you're craftsmanship and your dedication to your practice and yourself is really admirable.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm very grateful I met you.
Yeah, same.
I feel like discipline is something that when you recognize it in someone else, it's like, like recognizes like you're like, oh, you actually really enjoy learning about this and like working hard on it and wanting to be better.

(03:34):
Okay, perfect.
Let's learn more together.
Okay, perfect.
One thing that I actually don't know about you at all is how did you get started? Like with your dominant story? Like when did you wanna step into it? How did you get into it? What inspired you? Just the whole hit kit and caboodle of it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Um, and I'm curious once I tell you this, to see what parts of it you can relate to.

(03:57):
Yeah, because the person that we met through was actually who inspired me to become a dominatrix.
I met Dominic Collette Perve, um, through Chance Events, honestly.
And I met her at a very pivotal time in my life.
I was figuring a lot of things out, and I was like, who is this woman who commands power effortlessly? Because she exudes an energy that you're like, oh, you're at ease with yourself, so I can be at ease with myself.

(04:26):
And at first I was like, you know, at that point in my life, I was still a pretty, you know, I would consider myself like a nervous person.
Then how long ago was this? This was about three or four years ago.
Okay.
And I, you know, I've always known inside of myself that I can command a room when I want to, that I can step into that energy.
But it was always a difficult shift for me.

(04:47):
And now I feel so much more grounded in it.
But the way that I originally found that journey was through Colette.
I met her and I was like, how did you become like this? Have you always been this way? And she had a practice, she had a skillset that she was launching mistress class, this kind of introductory course to women really just stepping into their power.

(05:08):
And for me, you know, I come from the corporate world.
I was like, I would love to be better at negotiation skills and understanding how to set boundaries for myself as well.
That's been a huge part of the journey for me.
And so after I took that first mistress class, I didn't even necessarily know that that was going to be what I did as a profession.

(05:29):
I was like, I want these skills and let's see what I can do with it.
And once I started playing with subs, I was like.
They gave me the feedback.
They're like, oh, actually like this.
This should be your profession.
I was like, oh, really good at this.
Okay.
This is fun.
And it's something that we're both enjoying.
Like, yeah, I do think that that is going to be a long-term path for me.
And now I'm like, yes, I'm a professional dominatrix, but also this is my lifestyle.

(05:51):
It's what I enjoy doing.
I love to play.
And yeah, now here we are and it's, it's evolved into basically my entire world now.
Yeah.
Do you remember your first scene? I remember my first, well, scene in session I think of is differently.
Okay.
So my first scene.
Yes, I do remember my first scene and, um, it actually was one of the first times that I was offered a strap.

(06:18):
Okay.
And I had like played in kind of the kink world before, but not, not in the sense of like a formal scene where I was like, I am stepping into the mistress role.
You are stepping into this submissive role.
I'm going to create a very specific container for you, and I'm going to wield this thing inside of you, and I'm gonna give you this experience and let's see where we can go from there.

(06:38):
And it went very well.
Had you ever put a strap on before? I hadn't, and it was so thrusting and everything was so new for you in this space.
It was a very, I don't know if I would call it an out of body experience at first, but it was very new.
It was something that I, at the time was still somewhat uncomfortable with.
I'm like, what is this thing? Like what do I do with this thing? Um, but you know, I had.

(06:59):
Been lucky to experience caring partners in my life to where I was, like I had picked up mentally some skills of things that I enjoyed and I just tried to replicate that.
Yeah.
And like obviously getting feedback from them on their body and you know, men are different from women in a lot of ways.
But after that it really, I think was the emotional space that I had held that made the biggest impact because yes, I was good with the strap from pretty early on, but I made the person feel safe.

(07:25):
Yeah.
I made them feel seen and I allowed them to receive in a way that a lot of men don't get to receive.
And after that we had, I mean, it was a pretty like long amount of aftercare in a good way because there was a lot to process.
Mm-hmm.
There was a lot to talk through.
And I think a big part of the beauty of aftercare is that you're like, okay, how can we make this even better next time? How can we take that next step? So it was a new experience for me, but something that I was like.

(07:51):
Okay.
I like this.
You like this.
We both like this.
Let's continue to build on it.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, I think that's a really beautiful thing about strap play, especially with men who have not explored it a lot, is that vulnerability and that intimacy that you get to give them that safety that you get to give them.
And you're putting them in a different position.

(08:11):
Like their perspective is different because they're either under you or they're in front of you.
And that's not a a view that a lot of guys ever get to see.
And so they get to really experience how beautiful that power is of penetration and being held in that space when somebody does it appropriately and perfectly.
So yeah, the being held part I think is huge of it.

(08:32):
'cause it is very, very vulnerable.
You're like, you are literally opening yourself up to me.
And for some people where that's their first experience, it's like.
What just happened? Yeah.
Like let's unpack that.
Am I okay? Are we okay? What do I do about this? And you just kinda hold that space for them to, to process in whatever way they need to.
Yeah, the processing part is huge.
I feel like in BDSM, like in the actual scene, you're almost like operating on not an autopilot, and not necessarily just your subconscious, but it's like once the scene ends, then a lot of the processing happens of like, okay, I felt that as a physical sensation in my body when you were doing it.

(09:07):
And now I get to think about, well, how does it make me feel now? Like, what am I reflecting on? Right.
Yeah.
I think of it almost as like an integration after a psychedelic experience.
Mm-hmm.
And somebody's like, this has changed me.
What do I do with this now? And where do I go with it from here? Yeah.
So you literally, you go through the portal and you're like, and what next? Great.
So I'm curious, what is the difference for you between a scene and a session? So, lifestyle and professional domination are, you know, there's people that just play in their lives.

(09:35):
They aren't, you know, they don't have a, a profile online where someone can come and say, Hey, I would like to play with you in a very specific capacity.
Um, so a session for me is someone has found me as a professional dominatrix online, and they're approaching as a respectful submissive, saying, hi mistress.
I'm interested in playing with you.
Do you think we would be a fit? Here's a little bit about me.

(09:56):
Then we get to know each other, and you set up a session, let's say, at a dungeon downtown, something where, you know, you and the person are both coming together.
And there are very specific boundaries that have been put in place from a professional standpoint.
'cause in lifestyle, it's like you leave the scene.
I can play with someone and it can just be play.

(10:16):
I can play with someone and it can be a long-term training thing.
So for me, lifestyle and profession, like for example, you and I, we lifestyle play, we also do things in creating content.
But with lifestyle it's like this is my day-to-day life.
You know, I might call you on the phone and just FaceTime.
You see how you're doing.
And in the professional world there are check-ins, but it's much more regimented of like, here is a package that I have specifically curated to provide as a professional experience and lifestyle, at least in this point of my life.

(10:44):
I think of as this upper echelon of play that I do of, once you have gained my trust as a submissive, you get access to more of me.
My life is something that I keep protected in certain ways because you do need to have boundaries.
My, my clients need to understand that there are certain things that I have to keep to myself to keep myself safe.
And that's part of being a dominatrix is being able to hold that line and say, this is for me.

(11:08):
This is what we're sharing together.
And that's amazing and beautiful, but I need to make sure that I do have boundaries in place so that I can stay safe.
So yeah, you're very special and I like playing with you in all the capacities.
Thank you.
And you're really big on earning as well, and I really appreciate that about you because it is something that you, you have to work for it and there has to be a commitment for that.

(11:31):
Um, and those boundaries are, are really important.
And I have learned that good and bad about setting boundaries and sometimes it's really hard to set boundaries.
Yeah, it is really hard.
You need it like for that emotional and especially physical safety, like you have to have a line and a clear line.
For a lot of submissives.
Absolutely.
I love that you brought up the phrase earn because it is something that I have in place for boundaries, people earning things.

(11:57):
It's also a huge kink of mine.
I'm like, it's sexy when someone really works for it.
And I'm like, oh, you want that bad? And you wanting that bad is a feedback loop for me where I'm like, oh, I'm actually aroused and activated by that.
I like seeing how badly you wanna give it to me, and when you put in the work for it, that's gonna make me wanna do even more with you.
So I love that feedback, cliff.
I'm like, yes, earn more.

(12:18):
We love that.
How would you say that your dom style has evolved over time? Or has it evolved over time? Yes, it definitely has evolved over time.
I think when I first started, I had this idea of like what the perfect dom was like.
You know the very like prototypical, you're in all black, you're very stern.
It's like almost what people.

(12:40):
The vanilla world, we'll just think of as like a quote unquote bitch, and it's like there.
That is absolutely a role that I love to go into and I love to play that stern meanness.
But also I think that one of the biggest ways I've evolved is being like sillier and understanding that a lot of times, like you're playing with tension and release if you're just rah rah, rah the whole time, that doesn't give this like oscillation of highs and lows.

(13:04):
But if I can move between all the different sides of myself, first of all, it feels much more natural.
You're seeing, you're seeing all of my genuine reactions in the moment, and I'm allowing myself to be more myself.
So in the beginning.
The, uh, it's this idea of Collette calls it act as if until you are mm-hmm.
You're like, okay, I see this role.

(13:24):
I know how to play this character.
This is something that I enjoy doing.
And as soon as you do that enough times and you get your repetitions and you're like, oh, here are the things that I specifically like to do within that context.
Yeah.
And your personality gets to come out more.
So when I'm playing, I might be really, really mean and giving you a beating, and all of a sudden I'm giggling and I'm like, oh, this is so fun and it's really silly and actually cute, but then I'm gonna bring you back into that sternness.

(13:50):
And when you get pulled between those things, it also keeps the submissive a little bit more on edge.
And I think that's really fun because you don't really want them to always be able to anticipate every single thing that's coming.
You want them on their toes.
So when I bring out more of myself, it allows me to just get a little bit more fun and funky with it.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that it enriches the scene because everyone's just able to bring out their fullest selves too.

(14:14):
The more you show, the more they show.
I love that.
Um, when you said act as if you are, that is something that has led a little bit of my life for the last, like three years, I would say.
Like when I first heard that, that was one of the first notes I took from our lazen leather like retreat actually.
Um, and when I, I have a bunch of different archetypes that I pull on from day to day even.

(14:37):
And when I get into a really like anxious mode, um, I pull on like my goddess archetype a lot.
'cause goddess isn't anxious.
It's like, okay, what would she be doing right now? And sometimes that can really help me to step into maybe not even my fullest power, just maybe into a little bit of power to get me through the day.
So that is a motto that I've lived by for a long time.

(14:58):
Absolutely.
I feel like allowing yourself to pull from the archetypes is super helpful because you're almost like, okay, you're ticking the wheel now.
Like Goddess is in charge, she's got this like your worries.
They don't matter because there is someone here to take care.
Yeah.
And I like to think of it too as like I have all of these things inside of me.
And so sometimes I'm like, okay, any worries or any fears that I may have those You're gonna go sit in the corner.

(15:22):
We're getting into Ignore fetish now.
You shut up and sit over there.
Jennifer is in charge.
Mrs.
Hex is gonna take care of it.
So we're just gonna have you be quiet for a minute.
Yeah.
And once I have cared for the situation, then we're gonna figure out, all right, what are we unpacking next? What do Jennifer need a help with? So I love that you can channel that too with Goddess Guy.
Yeah.
I've gotten to create a lot of fun archetypes, and I imagine you've created some fun archetype.

(15:43):
Yeah.
I feel like for me, the three biggest ones that I play with are mistress, goddess and Enc Chara.
Mm-hmm.
They're kind of like my, like triad of Dom personas and they all mix together when I'm playing.
But I feel like Mistress is the most stern.
She's the mean one.
That's like if you messed up and you need to be disciplined, like she, unfortunately, she has to discipline you.

(16:03):
It's for your own good.
Mitre is here and she's gonna take care of it.
And Goddess, goddess is a little bit more goddess, honestly, was born to be worshiped.
Mm-hmm.
Goddess is like they are.
Of course.
Of course.
How could you not? If someone is presenting that energy to you, you're like, oh yeah, absolutely Goddess.
I'll do whatever you need.
Um, and Enchanter is more of that mystical, magical, mm-hmm.

(16:25):
Almost like the magician archetype for me, where I'm like, I've got something up my sleeve.
Always like, I will keep you on your toes.
I'm gonna lure you in with these pretty things, but there's always something you're not going to be expecting.
It's not just a pretty face, it is a lot more than that.
And that also comes in with a psychology piece of it, I think, where I'm like, the enchant is alchemizing.
She's taking all of these fun, yummy things and she's gonna make something even better.

(16:47):
You don't know what it is, but you're gonna be shocked, surprised, and delighted.
Mm.
And I always am.
I love it.
My, I think my, I pull on a lot of different archetypes, um, but my three most common right now is this goddess universal, um, play that I like to do.
Mommy.
Mommy and then a coach.

(17:07):
A little bit like it's kind of this coach mommy.
Um, because I see that a lot of people need a mommy, and I wanna be a mommy.
I'm such a nurturer.
Um, but I am this mommy that you don't wanna let down because I will sometimes abandon my children.
So that's where my coach steps and like, if you wanna be on the team, don't fucking disappoint me.
You gotta work hard if you wanna be on the team.
Yeah, like, like, I love you, but you're outta here.

(17:28):
You didn't practice, you didn't show up.
I think that that is something that is very, very necessary and that I have seen in you.
And that also really does motivate me too.
Because you lead by example.
You're a coach, but you're also leading by example, which is like, oh, she is working really, really hard.
Of course I need to be working that hard.
Why would I not wanna be making her proud? Like you lead by the example.
And that is what allows the submissives to step into their fullest potential too.

(17:51):
So, and I love having you on the team.
You're a very good coach.
And then my third archetype would be like, I do like this good girl, or this girl next door, like this slutty girl next door.
Because it's, I am not afraid to talk about the things that a lot of people are afraid to talk about.
I am cute enough that maybe you'll listen to me and I'm very privileged to say that.
And I can make it fun enough for you to feel safe enough to be vulnerable.

(18:13):
And then that's when my mommy can come in too.
'cause it's like, oh, good girl got you here.
That like sweet girl next door led you to the door, but who's behind the fucking door? Yeah, but you have to, I think that the girl next door, that approachability is something that sets you apart because it's like.
Domination can be scary for a lot of people.
It can be very, very intimidating.
And when you do have that, I'm just a girl.

(18:36):
I'm just a, I'm just, I'm just a girl.
Just a girl with a strap on.
What am I gonna do with this? I'm here to play, I'm here to have fun.
And I think it does put people at ease where they're like, okay, this is a human being.
Like you could be my neighbor.
And I would be very into playing with that, so.
Right.
I'm glad that you are able to, to move between all of them.
And I, your girl next door definitely drew me in as well.

(18:56):
She's a good girl.
Oh, okay.
Big question that I have for you.
Um, do you have like a ritual or what does it look like to embody Ms.
Hex? When you know you're about to step into a session or a scene or even into this aftercare podcast, is there a space that you're getting into? Yes, absolutely I have.
I think that my rituals have evolved as I have become more comfortable in being able to switch in and out of my different energies.

(19:20):
I could be dominating as hex in a onesie, no makeup, just in my sweatpants, anything like that.
But when I am preparing for a very specific session where I have.
More of my like formal mistress energy where I'm like, I want you to be on your knees drooling, doing this very specific thing.

(19:41):
I do have a ritual that allows me, I think, to feel both sharp and creative at the same time.
A big part of that for me is my eyeliner.
When I put on my eyeliner, I'm like, first of all, I'm painting and I don't paint a lot on canvases other than my face, but I'm like, I am very, very precise, but also creative.
So it's knowing that there's that structure, things are very regimented.

(20:01):
There is a method, but also there is a freedom and an ability to, you know, every time I draw that line, it's gonna be a little bit different.
But at the same time, I know the curve of my eye.
I know the way that the brush feels on my face, and I'm able to connect to myself.
And it really is like almost like a glamor ritual.
And I think that that is part of the goddess worship as well.

(20:22):
Because before I step into the session with the submissive, that will be worshiping me, I am also reminding myself.
I worship me because I deserve to be worshiped.
So it's, it's really allowing myself to connect to that.
And when I do, I'm like, goddess is here.
She's ready.
You better be ready too.
And I know you will be.

(20:43):
Make sure you are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But also music.
Um, Colette has that playlist channel, your inner dominatrix.
And when I listen to that, the song Priestess, first of all, like, this is a good song.
If I listen to it, I'm like, yes, I'm ready for literally anything.
Um, but definitely I think caring for myself and my body, like even oiling my legs.
Yeah.
That is something that when I do that and I'm like the moisturizing, the self-care, putting in the intention to understanding that there's a reason why other people want to worship it is because you show them you are worthy of it.

(21:12):
Yeah.
And that allows me to connect, to drop in, and then I'm like ready to go.
I love that.
Music is a big one for me too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I will, I have playlists for my submissive side and I have playlists for my, for my mommy and my, I have so many different, like dominant playlists and um, I will sit there and I will do like breath work to it and then I will oil, like naked body, I will oil my body.

(21:35):
Um, same thing, like I need to feel myself getting in back into my body and I start with like my feet and I work my way all the way up to my neck.
Um, and I would say my hair is a big one for me.
I have a lot of connection with my hair and so like when I put that like last final brush through my hair, it's like a go like, ha, I am here.

(21:59):
Um, what would you, so for a lot of, a lot of listeners, I have like a lot of listeners that are into KIN and BDSM and then a lot of listeners who are very curious about it.
How would you define dominance and submission? Like what would, what does that power exchange look like for you? Dominant sense, mission and power exchange, I think is a cycle.

(22:21):
It is a feedback loop.
I think that the dominant is the person that is making sure that the safe space is created, so the submissive gets to experience their chaos, their exploratory nature that probably they don't get to explore in a lot of other places.
And the dumbest, creating that grounded energy.
The D is also understanding the submissive.

(22:42):
I think this is a really key part of it, which is you have to be aware of your submissive, their desires, their proclivities, their limits and triggers as much as they need to be aware of how to serve you.
Because when you understand what drives the submissive, the things that turn them on a lot, or the things that get them really hyper aroused, you get to play with that.
And I'm really into tease and denial.

(23:02):
So for me, the dominant is the one that is creating their journey.
You're taking the submissive to a specific place that you have pre-negotiated.
You wanna go together.
They don't necessarily know the exact beats of how you're going to get there, but they are aware of everything that they've consented to along that journey.
And some submissives have more limits than others may be open to more leeway of creativity, things that you want to bring into it.

(23:27):
But I think for the most part, the dominant is really the person that is making sure the submissive is safe to explore.
The submissive is safe to voice the things that they desire.
They may not get them, but they know that they're not going to get anything other than acceptance when they do.
And so for me, power exchange is really someone offering up a big part of themselves to you and you're like, I will handle this with care.

(23:51):
I might handle it with care by beating you, but that's still a way of handling it with care if you're in a pain.
Like, um, so every submissive and dominant dynamic is going to be different because we're individuals.
It's very interpersonal.
Where I play with you completely different than I would play with anyone else because it's about you.
You in that moment are the person who all of my attention is on.

(24:11):
I don't become, I literally actually will stop having certain like physical sensations like I.
Never need to go to the restroom during a session because I'm aware of that person.
My body, I'm here to hold that space and to create the container.
And that's really fun because I like creating worlds and building worlds.
And when you have A-B-D-S-M dynamic, you have all of these fun things to play with and the options are literally endless.

(24:35):
Like you could create any scene out of just about anything.
I love that when you talk about that, it reminds me, or it just makes me think of negotiation, obviously.
Um, and a lot of people.
That are not in kink.
They think that talking about doing something beforehand, like is a turnoff.
They think that going into too many details, like ruins the spontaneity of things.

(24:58):
But can you talk about like why or what is a negotiation and why it's so important? And maybe even how you do it? 'cause you do it so differently than a lot of people.
Yeah, absolutely.
So at its core, I think that a negotiation is where you're building trust.
And if you're going into a scene, the sub has to have trust in the dom, but the DOM also has to trust the sub.
So the negotiation is where you're figuring out a lot of information from the person's background, the things that have brought them to kink.

(25:24):
How did you get here? What are the things that you're into? Have you tried these things before or are they new to you? I think a big part actually is understanding someone's experience level.
Because if someone is very new, you have to approach things differently.
You have to go a lot slower and allow them to bridge into things.
Um.
A negotiation beyond just getting their background and their interests and their proclivities.

(25:47):
You're also getting some important medical information, any physical limitations that they have, things, for example, kneeling.
Someone may not be able to be on their knees for an extended period of time.
You need to know that.
Um.
Also hard and soft limits.
This is the part where you figure out what are the things that I can't do and what are the things that I am going to intentionally push you on? Because I think in BDSM, you're actually trying to guide your submissive to lean into those edges and to see how much can you take, what are you capable of, what can I grow you into, how can you evolve with me? Um, and then obviously also a huge part of negotiation is aftercare as the name of this podcast, of figuring out, once I have taken you to this space where I understand the things that you're into, the things that I'm into, and we found really the overlap.

(26:36):
I think that's the key with the negotiation is like, think of it like a Venn diagram.
Here are your things, here are my things.
Where do we fit together and how can we play in that special space? That's where it gets really juicy.
And once you've played there.
How do I then bring you back to reality? How do I make sure that you do feel reintegrated? Because when someone enters subspace in a scene, their mind, all those chemicals going, all that stuff, it's a lot.

(27:02):
And so figuring out what they need after the fact is really important to know before, because you talk about some people feeling awkward by talking about things.
Imagine how awkward you would feel if you had a really intense experience and the person had no idea how to take care of you after.
That would be way more awkward to me.
So I think that it's actually quite sexy.
I get to tell someone, you know what? I am really, really into, when you massage my feet in that certain specific way, that's what's gonna maybe even get a little noise out of me.

(27:28):
Don't you want that noise out of me? That's where you find the fun things.
Um, so for me, the negotiation is really like getting to know the sub.
And allowing the sub to get to know you too, because, uh, like I said earlier, the more vulnerable you are, the more you share about yourself, the more they can share.
If I tell you that I'm into something that you would never think that someone might be into, then you're like, oh, that thing that I never talk about, like I can tell her that because she's gonna be open to hearing it, right? Yeah.

(27:55):
Yeah.
I love that.
I remember our first negotiation before, um, I think it was the, the pegging threesome that we did, like sitting on the bed with you and literally just starting from like our heads to our toes of like areas like, what do we like under this part of our body? What do we not like done to it? And it was really nice to just not feel rushed because there's a lot of times when we're getting ready for a scene or dropping in with each other that we kind of miss a lot of things on our body.

(28:23):
We're like, oh, actually I don't like my underarms being touched, but I forgot to tell them that.
And now they're tell, now they're touching it and.
Is that my fault? 'cause I didn't say it.
But now when we open up this really big space to allow all of these little things that might feel like nuances, it's a way that we really get to learn about each other.
And we don't have to do it every single time, but when we enter these spaces of newness or these new toys or these new techniques that we wanna do, we get to actually talk about it.

(28:49):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I feel like one thing to mention too, um, on the negotiation point is that's also the place where I talk about safe words.
And so the person gets to understand, okay, I use the stoplight system.
Red, yellow, green, red, everything is stopping yellow.
That's a check-in.
So maybe we did have a negotiation before and you told me you like your hair pulled, but I pulled it in a way that you didn't love.

(29:09):
You could yell then.
And that's a time where we get to talk and check in and be like, alright, let's adjust this here.
And then once I get a green from you, I can then go back into play and we can continue to build from there.
Yeah.
So again, setting that up, that communication in the beginning is like now we have a fail safe.
If something goes in any way that we don't desire.
We can pause, we can stop, we can keep going, but we know the language to communicate that, which is super important for you to feel safe of like, oh yeah, I will let her pull my hair because if she pulls it in a way that I'm not into, we can communicate about that and it's gonna be okay.

(29:42):
There's a way to stop it.
Yeah.
I use the um, red light system too, but I actually added blue in, um, in like the last year after a training that I went to, um, for dissociation.
Um, because I know I dissociate a lot.
I have a lot of sexual trauma and I've seen it in a few, um, subs that I've had sessions with.
Even like a, a girl girl massage that I did once like this, put this human into like a trance state and she just.

(30:08):
She was not able to like drop back into her body.
Um, and so there's techniques that I have to be able to bring somebody back in, whether that's just using the five senses or breath work or just slowing down and sitting somebody up and like doing like a yab yum almost.
Or just bringing in different music.
Um, but that disassociation is such a big one for a lot of women I've noticed in spaces.

(30:31):
Yeah, dissociating is definitely something that is.
An interesting experience to observe in someone.
And also that's something that you can talk about if, like, what does it look for you? What does it look like for you when you're enjoying something? What does it look like when you're not enjoying something? What does it look like when you don't know? And maybe we need to check in there.
Um, and I feel like also something that is good in that realm is nonverbal, safe words, like having something that someone can hold and if they drop it, you know, that they're not able to literally hold onto like a stuffy, for example.

(31:01):
That's a sign that.
We need to stop.
We need to do a check-in.
Um, so yeah, there's so many different ways of making sure that the communication goes, and I love that blue, blue.
Um, one thing that I really admire about you is that you are a craftsman and you also admire craftsman, love a good craftsman.
Um, you practice a lot.
And so I would love for you to share your favorite tools or techniques or art in the world of kink that you are learning or getting into, or that you feel like you have, you're doing really well.

(31:32):
Oh, yeah.
I love that question.
Um, so for me, I think of this like overarching category of tools as wands.
And so for me, I love playing with my wands and I feel like one of the ones that.
I have been very, very drawn to recently is whip.
I think that a whip is a very powerful wand because some people are into pain and you can play with a whip by actually hitting them with it.

(31:57):
Some people may be aroused by the thought of a whip, but they couldn't take a whipping, and you can still use that as like an auditory signal in a session.
You can crack a whip and you don't have to hit someone with it.
And I think also I have started relating my love for whip to people's love for golf because I've heard that golf is quite addictive because once you hit the ball and you get that clean crack, your brain gets this feedback loop that's like, Ooh, that was perfect.

(32:24):
That was exactly how I wanna do it again.
So for me, cracking a whip, literally just like practicing randomly.
I, I like to spend a lot of time outdoors too, and I have different length of whips, like big whips.
You need a very large space, small whips, whatever for me.
Getting to spend time, whether it's in a dungeon, whether it's in nature, hearing the crack of my whip and knowing that that is something that I worked towards and that positive.

(32:49):
The noise that it makes is my reminder and my incentive to continue practicing, to continue leveling up.
Because when you first start with a whip, you're like, what do I do with this? I have a whip and I don't even know how to yield it.
I would love for you to just go outside with me and just show me how to hold the fucking thing because it's so intimidating and I have so much fear around hurting myself.

(33:10):
As silly as that might sound, that that's why I haven't started is because I don't wanna whip my eye out.
It does not sound silly.
I have a face shield that you can practice with and that is how I started because yeah, you definitely can whip yourself and like when you, when you first learn.
You will.
Yeah.
Um, but I think that also will help you gain empathy and understanding for when you're whipping a sub, I think.

(33:32):
And honestly, everything that I do in terms of like craftsman, I practice everything on myself before I do it on others.
Because until you can understand and how it feels to someone, like you can't possibly gauge what they could be going through.
Right.
So yes, happy to lend you that.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Um, it takes a long time and I think that that's something that I actually like about it the most.
I like challenging things, so if I can't get something the first time, maybe it's frustrating, maybe that's difficult, but that's literally what I'm doing in my submissives.

(33:59):
I am giving them challenges and I want them to have to work.
I want them to struggle.
I like watching the suffering and seeing like, you know what? This is gonna be hard.
Yeah.
It's not going to be easy, but when you put in the work, you will get the result.
And so for me, WIP has been one of those things.
It's like, you know, it started.
Very challenging and with time and repetition, like repetition is the father of learning.

(34:21):
If you keep doing something enough times and you put in the effort and intention, you will find the place that you're trying to go.
So repetition is the father of learning.
I love that.
Yeah.
That's actually a little Wayne Lyric.
Perfect.
Perfect.
So you're kind of like a little dom to yourself.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I am.

(34:42):
Absolutely.
I submit to Jennifer as much as any of my subs do.
I feel like I get up in the morning and I'm like, all right, what does Jennifer need? Because when you have a purpose.
Everything else can fall into place in life.
Like purpose is so, so important.
I try and make sure that my subs always understand what their purpose is.
I don't just say, do this.
I'll be very clear about why I want that done.

(35:03):
It's not just rub my feet, it's, you better rub my feet so good that when I walk out of here I don't feel any pain in my feet.
Because if I do, then I'll remember that you are the one who did not rub my feet good enough.
So you better rub those feet really good.
So yeah, purpose is is very important for me.
I definitely serve Jennifer.
I think that honestly, I feel like Jennifer hecks understands that I'm able to hold what needs to be held for her to do her thing.

(35:27):
And so when I.
Honestly, most things in my life, from the time that I wake up in the morning and I'm brushing my teeth or eating anything, I'm like, you know what? I'm fueling Jennifer.
I am allowing her to have the things that she needs to make the changes that I know she's capable of because I see what she's capable of.
And when you receive feedback from people that tell you that you've impacted them, you're like, I need to honor that.

(35:51):
Because if I can make a change for you and it's a positive change and something that you are learning and growing from, how could I rob you of that experience? How could I not step into that power? Um, I think that's a huge thing that I took away from that initial mistress class, our certificate, say, thank you for stepping into your power.
It's like when you have a gift, when there's something that you can share with people sharing, it becomes rewarding.

(36:14):
Yeah.
And it becomes something where you're like, absolutely.
I wanna sub for her.
Ooh, she'll do good things with this power.
Lemme give it to you.
Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah.
Um, is there anything that you, like, what is the edgiest thing that you have done during a scene or a session that maybe even surprised you that you didn't know that you would ever do? That surprised me.

(36:37):
That I didn't know I would ever do.
Yeah.
Do you have any, I I, maybe you don't.
Maybe you're not a very surprised person by.
I feel like the main reason why the word surprise for me doesn't necessarily resonate.
There is.
My submissive and I would've talked about all the things that we were going to be doing, but there are some people that have very few limits, so, oh, I do have a good one actually.

(36:57):
This was just something that was kind of a random ritual that came to me.
So I've talked before about how I really like people doing things with intention.
For me, I love having my strawberries cut for me.
Okay.
And I had a sub that, uh, gained a lot of trust, you know, has been in my life for many years now.
And, um, we went on a trip and we went to the woods and we, he went grocery shopping, came back, had all the things, and I was like, I want all of the holes of the strawberries cut out.

(37:25):
And when I was younger, I would fill my strawberries with sugar before I ate them.
Okay.
Well, at this place that we were staying, there was a suitcase elevator because there was like three flights of stairs to get up to the cabin.
I put him on the suitcase elevator, laid him on his back.
I said, open your mouth, put the strawberry in his mouth.
And I created a ritual.
And until the sugar was sprinkled on that strawberry in his mouth, he was not allowed to release.

(37:51):
And having someone in the middle of literally all nature, everywhere that you look around on this suitcase elevator.
Doing everything in their power to hold in themselves with a strawberry in their mouth, waiting to be sugared to get to release.
I lost my mind lap.
Like that was one, it's one of my favorite memories and was definitely surprising for this person in a way that they were like, I never would've thought that that would be so arousing.

(38:19):
But somehow the final sprinkle of sugar was like, ah, like wow.
Okay.
Um, so that one was really fun.
Um, and I think I really enjoy the things where it's based on the environment.
You're like, okay, I have a lot of things to work with here.
We have this nature, we have this suitcase elevator.
What could I do with that? Well, this would be really interesting.

(38:41):
You have a platform, you're laying on your back, you're looking at the sky.
This is beautiful.
Now how can I make this kinky un perverted? Mm.
And for me, it's the creative challenge that I really, really like and enjoy because I enjoy creating scenes.
You can't do exactly the same way twice.
It's the same thing as drawing the eyeliner.
I'm like, this experience is unique.
I want to craft a unique, memorable experience.

(39:04):
And honestly, the weirder that you get with it, the more specific you get with it, the more that that memory becomes ingrained.
Because it's nuance, it's novelty.
And our brain loves novelty.
We love new things.
Like one of my biggest goals in life is to continue seeing new things every day, to see all of the things that the world has to offer.
So I wanna give my subs all of the experiences the world has to offer.

(39:25):
Like, who else is going to fill your mouth with a strawberry and sprinkle with sugar and make you release into the forest? I don't know, but if you meet someone else like that, I would like to be their friends.
Right.
No, that's like your little intri where you're just like, what can I come up with? I'm gonna make this as magical as possible.
I'm gonna blow your mind and I'm gonna blow my mind too.
Yeah.
I love blowing my own mind, just for me as much.

(39:47):
It really is.
It really is just as much for me.
Um, what is a, since you've been in like the world of kink and BDSM for a while now, what is.
A couple, or even just one like red flag behaviors when you're talking to somebody or meeting something, or even if you just see something online boundary pushing, like hands down, if I say a boundary, that is the boundary.

(40:08):
And if you even ask again, I'm like, oh, well now I know that I cannot trust you to listen.
Like it is such a simple, simple thing.
There are, you know, I have a, a short-ish list of boundaries, needle play, blood play, Roman showers.
Like if you ask me for those things after I have clearly said to you that I don't do them, you are missing respect.

(40:28):
You're missing an understanding of what this dynamic is and I will not be engaging with that.
Boundaries are not something that are here for you to give me your input on.
So that is just like the fastest red flag where I'm like, well, that was fun while it lasted.
Goodbye and goodbye.
It's a really good one.
Yeah, I, one of my biggest ones is especially because I am like, I'm a known switch, is.

(40:52):
Doms, especially when they don't have a capacity to learn new things or to have that self-awareness where they're like, no, it's this way.
And the little barr brat and the skeptic in me is like, that's bullshit and I'm not safe with you because you're not willing to adapt and evolve and it's not there.
Kink is just not one way.
It's not black and white and I, it's a hill I will die on of just, everybody gets their own flavor.

(41:17):
Everybody gets their own choice.
If you don't wanna adapt to me or adapt to new practices, you don't get to touch me.
Exactly.
Like it has to be individualized.
Yeah.
That's the point.
The point is that it is for us to get to explore our specific selves and yeah, I think that being able to adapt, I almost look at it as like an adversity response.

(41:38):
It's like, okay, I have this thing that I think that I, or I am confident that I know how to do.
Someone has now given me new information.
That's a challenge.
How do I take the information I have, the new information they've given me and bridge into a newer, better place for that specific person.
Yeah.
So yeah, that is uh, definitely something that is good to look out for it all.
Yeah, exactly.

(42:00):
Um, okay.
Do you have a fantasy scene that you've wanted to do or is there anything that's like hot on your mind that you would love to.
Explore.
Yeah.
I've really been thinking a lot about Lucky Pierre.
I think that that is something, I think honestly a lot of the fantasies that I have to explore now are group play and things that, because like that's high challenge too.

(42:20):
Mm-hmm.
I think that playing with multiple people at the same time is much higher challenge and, um.
Some of my favorite scenes have actually been where I've been doing impact play with two people with different pain tolerances.
Okay.
And having to be individualized between those.
And so actually it was something that I believe you and Sonny did that was a lucky pier.
And I saw it and I was like, oh, you know what? There's other ways to connect all of these things in one beautiful thing together.

(42:46):
And I think that whether it's playing with couples, threesomes, any type of those things, figuring out how to involve everyone in a creative and inviting way is very, very fun.
Um, so a lot, a lot of group fantasies, I love training good holes and so many of them have to do with that.
Um, yeah, I would love to just have like a, a lineup of like, you know, you know what I'm saying? I dunno exactly what I'm allowed to say on this platform.

(43:12):
You can say fisting.
Oh yeah.
No, I would love to like line up a bunch of people and just like fist, you know what I mean? Like anally fist or whatever.
Both.
I think it would depend on if it was a man or a woman.
For women, I would probably prefer fisting and not the ass.
Mm-hmm.
Um, just because.
Stretchier a little easier, but with men like, yeah, no, I think, I mean, if you and Sonny were side by side, one fist for each, you know, like why not? Like a puppet master, literally puppet master.

(43:38):
They're like, Hmm, you wanna talk now? Angel? Uh, I love that with the lucky Pierre.
What po are you the behind position then? I would like to be the behind position.
I really like being, yeah, I like grip, I like a good hip grip.
Mm-hmm.
I really enjoy a good hip grip.
I also enjoy a good shoulder grip.
I think that dude, I like, like a shoulder grip because you can like also arch your back too.

(43:59):
Like there is something really sexy about yielding a strap and just like fucking somebody a doggy.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
I also like.
One thing that I think that I really enjoy is being able to play with my arms and like move around.
Like if I am doing something with my hips, I do wanna be able to have fun.
Maybe even like do a little sensual dance or something.
This is, I like constantly do this when I'm nervous.
Yeah.
I've noticed that this is one of your mm-hmm.

(44:21):
Go-tos and I like it.
You like turn into a crane.
It's a good thing to turn into.
Yeah.
I like cranes.
Elegant.
Elegant bird.
Perfect.
Um, yeah, so if you wanna do a lucky pier tonight, we can do that.
Perfect.
Oh my goodness.
I kinda wanna talk about this scene that we did last night.
Is that okay? Yeah.
Yeah.
We did a scene last night.
We did a very fun scene.

(44:42):
Um, and I was a little nervous just for the sense of Sonny leading it because that's not a space that he's done before.
Mm-hmm.
And I think he did a really good job with it.
He did an amazing job.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think you guys flowed really well together.
My first like double do scene was with you.
And so you make it very, I dunno, you make it very exciting.

(45:03):
You also make it so that I don't wanna disappoint you.
So I like step into my fucking A game and I'm like, miss Hex is coming into the room.
She's coming into the room.
I'm coming, girl.
Get ready for me and for you.
So, and it, it was a lot of fun to play with you.
And last night, um, I have a stretching and a fisting fetish And you did it? Oh yeah.
We, well, no, I think it was actually this hand.

(45:23):
Yeah.
But, uh, but yeah, it was a whole thing.
Yeah.
You really, um, you really opened up there.
Honestly, I thought that it was going to take a little bit longer to open you, but you were a.
You were really, you wanted it.
I Good for you.
You were a good, good whole.
I'm a good girl.
Thank you very much for, uh, for, uh, that experience.
Yeah.
Great experience.
Perfect.

(45:46):
All right.
What else do I have? Do you have anything for me before we kinda like wrap things up? Ooh.
I would love to know what fantasies you have had that you are hoping to explore, because you've explored a lot, but there's endless possibilities.
I have some fantasies that I haven't even told the internet because people are crazy.
I have a overstimulated fantasy.
It's a group play as well.
Um, where I am blindfolded, which blindfolding is kind of an edge for me.

(46:08):
I am such a control freak.
Like I will top from the bottom like almost all the time.
Unless you are there.
'cause I know that you can hold me and you can handle it and you don't need my help.
Um, and so it's really hard for me to like, give away some of those reigns at times.
And, but I need to, I need to let people fumble.
And the blindfold, I know, helps other people to feel comfortable in that space.

(46:29):
But I would like to be overstimulated in the sense of like, all of my holes being used, um, headphones in so that I can either hear a lot of music or nothing at all.
Um, like a lot of compliments, a lot of nothing, A lot of degrading, nipple play, electro play, wax play just all over the place until I'm like, panting, overstimulation is hot.
I feel like, uh, in the scene that we did yesterday, there was a point where your brain and your eyes, the way that they were just like.

(46:55):
Absolutely gone and lost in the best way.
Would love to see you experience more of that because Cool.
You look great in an overstimulated state.
I like being overstimulated.
I usually cry afterwards and I'm okay with that.
It's a good release.
Crying is a good release after an orgasm.
Crying is a great release.
There's that catharsis.
You're like, ah, everything is great.
Honestly, after a good cry, you feel invincible.

(47:17):
You're like, yeah.
Oh yeah, that feels like a channel.
Yeah, it was that heavy weight and now the weight is gone.
Yeah.
Uh, what do you think? Okay, so I have two more questions that I can think of off the top of my head.
Um, what are some of the most common requests that you get as a dominant, whether that is from your like fan pages or other ways that you connect with people? Um, what are your most common requests? I feel like people actually really like CEI come meeting instructional.

(47:43):
I feel like that's definitely something that I feel like most of the common things that I get is specific requests are the ones that are a little bit more taboo, where people are like not necessarily open to explore it.
'cause I have listed out a lot of my big kinks and things on my page.
Yeah.
And those are, you know, pretty simple stuff.
Whether that's like tease and denial, fit, fetish, all of that.
But coming instructional and some of these more like honestly heavily intense psychological play where people really do want to be degraded and made to because okay, I'm a dominant that you know that I care.

(48:13):
So me giving you a degrading experience, you're like, this is a safe place to literally feel like garbage or to feel like I am unworthy or to be told these humiliating things.
I think that humiliation is something that people are really into because it allows you to experience that in a way that you know you're choosing.
Yeah.
It's like in real life if someone is humiliating you that hurts, you're like.
Why are you making fun of me? Like what did I do? But when it's something where you have a specific container and you can step out of it, that I think is something that is common for people.

(48:42):
'cause they're like, I want to be able to experience this in a way that isn't actually going to hurt me long term.
And that is really great.
Um, I also think that.
From a virtual perspective, a lot of people like bondage instructions on how to put themselves into certain positions like, and I don't even necessarily need them to use cuffs or rope or anything like that.

(49:04):
I do have some subs that are very talented at rope, and I love directing a rope scene virtually, which is an interesting experience.
My words are bondage.
Mm-hmm.
So me telling you, you have to stay in this certain position for this amount of time.
You're going to set a timer.
When that timer goes off, you're going to tell me your experience of this specific thing.
That is something that I really love and I enjoy when I get those requests because it's me getting to bring someone into a world from a distance, and that is a crazy type of power to feel where you're like, we're not even in the same room, and you are just ready to drop.

(49:35):
Right.
You are ready to take that instruction and you're gonna prove it to me.
Like people enjoy sending, you know, photos, videos, whatever the case may be of them in their positions.
I think position training, like slave training as well, is something that is pretty common where people, like we talked about purpose.
People want a purpose.
Yeah.
Slave training gives someone a purpose that they're there to serve and they understand they're being useful and it feels good to be useful.

(49:58):
It feels good to know that you're doing something that's making the other person happy, so.
Definitely all of those are both common, but also just, I really enjoy them because I'm like, absolutely.
Let's get into it.
Yeah.
I love that.
And so many guys just wanna share too when they're like, I am on my hands and knees plugged for you.
Can I please show you what I look like? And you're like, absolutely.

(50:19):
Yeah, I, I know you've probably never shared this with anybody else and you feel safe enough to do it here.
Share whatever you would like.
Yeah.
I really, I really do like those moments where it's something where it's an intimate thing.
It's like, this is special.
This is private to me in this case, and I'm going to share with you.
It's like, what an honor.
Yeah.
Thank you for sharing that with me.
You look fabulous.
So good with that.

(50:39):
Plug in your ass.
Oh my gosh.
Like so many guys with like ification kinks or even just panty fetishes and they're like, I and I have guys that are like blue collar workers and they wear these little red thongs to work like every day.
Yes.
And they'll send me a picture of 'em every day and it's like, you look so fucking good.
You look pretty.
I know you wanna look pretty, boys look cute.
And panties two boys look very panties and they just wanna be pretty.

(51:01):
Yeah.
And boys should be pretty sometimes.
Yeah.
Boys can be pretty.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Um, why do you think, from your perspective, that a lot of men have a hard time admitting that they would like to be submissive? Oh, I mean, I think years and years, like the patriarchy just beats into you, like, be a man and if you aren't what we think a man should be, then you're bad.

(51:22):
And it's like, it's shame.
It is shame that has been pummeled in over years and years.
And when things become systematic like that, it is really hard to uproot them because.
Systems have structure.
Yeah.
And when there is structure, that's a container that you're used to understanding how to explore.
And when you take the flip side of that, you're like, I actually have no idea how to explore this.

(51:42):
There's no blueprint, there is no institution showing me how to do it.
Wouldn't it be great if there was, right.
And then from there, they get to explore that with someone that has created this world for them.
So as a dom, you're like, here, let me show you what it could look like if I put together a place where you can be whatever you want to be.
And then from there we get to have a lot more fun.

(52:03):
Love that.
I absolutely agree with that.
Um, what would you say to other fems who are just starting their journey of stepping into their power or even just curious about what it would look like to explore this world of maybe not even being a, a dominatrix professionally, but being able to step into that other side of their power that they don't access.

(52:26):
Stepping into your power will hurt.
And that is good.
I think that pain is a portal and I think that there is a lot of shadow work you have to do to understand what are the things that were beaten into me? Yeah.
And what do I have to remove? And when you have someone that you can look up to and see that they have done those difficult things, you're like, if she can do it, I can do it and I'm gonna hold onto that strength.

(52:48):
So like your page is a great place for people to come and see.
You talk about a lot of the things that you've been through and you've become this and that is inspiring.
So I think for people stepping into their power, it's like, okay, it's gonna take a long time, first of all, and it's not going to be a linear trajectory.
You're going to have ups and downs.
And I think I come to back to this idea a lot about oscillations.

(53:10):
Like I literally see like a side curve and I'm like.
Life is ups and downs.
It is, you're gonna make, you're gonna take a step forward and you're gonna think, wow, I made so much progress here.
There's gonna be a time where you have to take a step back and you're like, maybe that actually wasn't the right direction, but I see a path further this way.
Don't be afraid to pivot.
Also, I think when you're stepping into your power, you might find things and you're like, oh, that feels really good right now.

(53:30):
And at this point in my life, that makes me feel empowered.
But a year from now, that doesn't make me feel empowered anymore.
And that's okay.
Things don't always have to be the same for you, right? You can change, you can evolve.
And I think for me, I used to be afraid of change and now I would love change.
Like, change is awesome.
And change is also the only thing that you can predict because it's constant.

(53:50):
Yeah.
There's always gonna be that.
So I think for me, um, a quote that I come back to or just like, kind of like my mantra now is let your curiosity be greater than your fear.
Because when you're curious and you're like, what could be out there? What, what does happen if I keep going? I don't know, but I wanna find out.
Because I'm a curious person.
So yeah, being open to change and just allowing yourself to follow your curiosity, I think is a thing that has gotten me through so much, and I just recommend that to everybody, honestly.

(54:23):
Just be curious.
Be curious.
Yeah.
When I started this journey, like into content creation, three years ago, I had no power or I didn't acknowledge that I had any power.
And, uh, like I was an animal nurse for almost 12 years, so there is power in helping creatures, like there was so much power in that.
But stepping into this world where I was scrutinized just for being online and just for what I look like in my appearance and what I'm deciding to do, I, I just, I lost all of my credibility and my accountability or my credibility for what I was for the last 12 years because I decided to talk about sex.

(54:58):
And even though I was the same exact person, and it was so confusing to me, and I was at this crossroads with myself, um, probably six months in where I would read comments.
On like Instagram and it was just beating me down.
I had no protection.
I had nothing surrounding me other than these comments of these people sticking to me and these voices that I had already heard my entire life of just like more bullies.

(55:22):
And I had to look in the mirror one day and I decided it's either I have to go back to my nursing career that I was so burnt out on, or I need to face these demons and I need to sit in this fucking pain and I need to transform and I need to learn how to not.
Care about what these people think because I'm changing people's lives and I need to be able to find that power within myself to keep going.

(55:45):
And that's kind of what led me to Colette as well.
So I am so glad that you kept going.
And it's funny because yeah, the loudest people on the internet are like the angriest or like the ones that have something negative to say.
But there are so many people out there that you don't hear so many that are like, wow, I'm looking up to this.
Or I see the vision, like, I see your purpose and I want to continue on that path.

(56:07):
But they're afraid.
They're afraid to speak, but the ones that are angry aren't always afraid to speak, so it's hard to know.
Look, there is a lot more out there.
There is positivity.
There's a lot more people like you, and sometimes they're just shy and you gotta, you're doing the thing to help them not be shy.
You're like, I'll go first like me, and I'm a shy girl.
But sometimes you, you can't always be shy.

(56:28):
Yeah.
Sometimes you gotta put yourself out there and see what happens and Yeah.
Good things can happen.
Lean into that fear, dude.
Lean into that fear.
Mm-hmm.
Curiosity is, that's what we got.
Yeah.
We're going with it.
All right.
So one question I ask everybody that is on this podcast is, what is your, what is aftercare for you after a scene so that you feel like you are held, whether, I'm assuming that's mostly by yourself, um, in these sessions.

(56:53):
Like how do you take care of yourself after a scene to make sure that you can keep going and that you don't drop into a dom drop? Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Dom Drop is real.
Um, and it is a lot of self aftercare.
I feel like for me, I have many, many rituals in my life, and one of them is like my evening routine.
So usually if I come home from a session, it's later in the evening.
And I, I'm a bath girl first of all, as you know, who's not a bath welcome.

(57:18):
Um, and for me, Epsom salts are really key to both relaxing my body.
Like we talked a little bit about the athleticism part.
I do a lot of physically challenging things on my body and being in heels, being on your feet, all of that stuff, you have to take care of your literal physical form.
And I think a lot about my roots, like my feet are rooting me into the ground.
So in the session, I absolutely will be having my feet like massage and make sure that I feel like good and, and calm and relax and all of that.

(57:46):
But when I get home.
I'm stripping myself back down to my most bare form, and that's beautiful.
And so connecting with that version of myself as well and remembering that all of my power still exists there.
So when my cat eye comes off, when I have gotten in the bath and my hair is wet and I get out, first of all, for me, you talked about hair earlier, hair is very important to me as well.

(58:09):
Braiding my hair is actually something that is very relaxing.
It's methodical and it reminds me of I literally grew this myself.
Yeah.
Like, and it makes me remember things take time.
You have to care for them and nurture them in the long term.
So I'm a, I'm very into moisturizing my body.
We talked about body oil.
I think there is something intentional about intentional, about touching your own body and caring for it.

(58:34):
Like you can feel someone else touch you and put care.
But self-love is very important.
And when I ground myself back in that, that is honestly my favorite aftercare because I'm like, yes.
This person served me.
But also even without that, I understand I am deserving and I give myself that.
And, um, yeah, it's like, you know, the way that I said I serve Jennifer, I'm serving her in aftercare, like I am providing the aftercare to her and she deserves it.

(59:02):
So yeah.
What about you? What are some of your favorites when you're like doing a loan after care bubble bath as well.
Yeah, like it, that's like a non-negotiable for me.
Um, but in my bubble bath, I actually put an oil, it's a vagus nerve oil.
Oh.
So that it can like, bring me back in slow.
My heart rate back down just recenter me.
Um, music is always really important to me.

(59:23):
I listen to Gone, gone Beyond their album 2030, every time that I get into the bathtub.
And, um.
I always like to shave my legs.
It's, it's kind of a funny thing.
Um, even if my legs don't necessarily need to be shaved, it's kind of like an oil in the bathtub where I get to feel my body.
Um, and then once I get out of the bath oil as well, um, I also like to braid my hair.

(59:48):
It's not after every time, but when I braid my hair, it's a very intentional, um, like each strand is like a mind, body, spirit.
And I always just think about each part of myself as I intertwine it and bring it back together.
I love that so much.
Mind, body, spirit.
I like the next time I braid my hair, I'm like, mind, body, spirit.
I love it.
'cause it's, it's just all of me into one.

(01:00:09):
All of you into one.
It's all, it's a lot of good things all in one.
Um, and then I always try to put on something furry.
I probably have a little bit of a fur fetish.
Ooh, yeah.
I love a good, just like fuzzy wuzzy.
Um, grab my squish melow and then.
Go downstairs, grab my blanket and get with my dogs.
So you gotta get the cozies in.
Oh dude, I'm such a cozy slut.
Cozy sluts are the best cozy slut.

(01:00:31):
Um, what do you like to do, like personally, who, who are you a little bit outside of? Hx, what are some of your hobbies outside of Miss hx? I love dance.
I am very into pole dancing right now.
I originally was attracted to the Lyra hoop, and then it just so happened that the studio that I found did Pole and I fell in love with that.

(01:00:52):
I think for me, like my, my physical body is very important for me to connect with myself.
So a lot of the time that I spend doing things, like I go on a lot of walks with my dog, I walk to the beach.
I, you know, I love just spending time outdoors in nature.
Even a lot of, honestly, a lot of my hobbies are things that do relate back to Jennifer.
Like even if I'm not sessioning or in a scene or whatever, I'll still be spending time with my whip.

(01:01:13):
Like, I just enjoy doing that.
It's just fun for me.
Um, but I think, uh, flexibility is a huge focus of mine right now.
And it kind of all relates back to pull because for me, I'm like, when I have a goal for something and I wanna improve at something.
Everything starts to revolve around that.
So, I mean, also as kind of aftercare too, like it all connects, right? You, you do the stretching, it will help with the dom world.

(01:01:36):
It will also help with your own personal desires of dance and sensuality.
I think, um, beyond poll, other hobbies, I might, I'm a big reader.
I love to read.
I love a good book.
I don't really enjoy novels all that much, but like, I do enjoy books that allow me to learn more about myself.
Okay.
Like we talked a little bit this weekend about the deep psychology of BDSM.

(01:01:59):
I'm really into psychology actually.
My mom's a psychologist and the older that I get, the more intensely interested I am in all of that stuff.
So, uh, I think that for me.
I'm like a lifelong learner.
I just wanna learn stuff.
That could be a conversation with someone.
It could be literally me, like walking down the street and I'll wear my, um, I have a onesie that's a Tigger onesie and like people will see me in it and it's just a conversation start.

(01:02:23):
So like that I think is a hobby of mine, getting to know my community.
Like the person that runs the corner shop near me.
I walk in and my Tucker we're having a great convo.
I'm like, how's your day going? I just wanna know.
I wanna get to know people.
Yeah.
And just expand my community and I just have a smile on my face.
That's it.
Can, can that be a hobby? Like finding things that make people, that's really hard for me to do.
So that is, yeah.

(01:02:44):
That can absolutely be a hobby.
Yeah.
Okay, great.
My hobby is being silly and, uh, pole dancing, like perfect chi and pole dancing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that.
Um, let's see.
Where can people find you? So all of my, my Instagram, my website for serving in person, my TikTok, literally everything I want.

(01:03:04):
jennifer.com
has all of that information.
So that is the best place to reach me.
Um, my Instagram is enc chra hex, but you can find that all on the link.
So I want jennifer.com.
I want jennifer.com.
That is a good website.
Thank you.
I was like, what could be like a nice catchall for all of the different things? Because it's like the in person, the virtual, all of it.
It has to go somewhere.
It's just You want Jennifer? You want Jennifer? You want me? You want Jennifer? Perfect.

(01:03:30):
Well thank you for being here today.
I can't thank you enough for coming and hanging out with Sunny and I and our pops.
Thank you so much for having me.
This has been such a fun podcast and I'm just always happy to spend time with you.
Yeah, love you very much.
Love you very much.
Thank you guys for tuning in.
You guys know where to find us, sunny and sky.com,
and I hope you guys always stay kinky and curious and grateful to have you.

(01:03:52):
Goodbye.