Opening up our relationship and navigating group play together

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome kinky friends.
I'm Skye and I'm Sunny, and this is the aftercare podcast where we normalize and explore the conversations around sex, kink, love, and everything in between.
And we are at episode three, episode three.
.9995It's been a little bit, it's been a couple of months. 5 00:00:13,429.9995 --> 00:00:16,510 Thanks for sticking in there with us as life happened to us. 6 00:00:16,529.999 --> 00:00:19,455 What have we been up to? Yeah, we've been super busy.
Part of the reason we haven't just had the time is one of the biggest things is we have decided to move.

(00:27):
.999And next month we are moving our life from Colorado to the Pacific Northwest. 9 00:00:31,764.999 --> 00:00:33,005 Yeah, super exciting.
.9It's something we've talked about pretty much since we've been together.
Been together.
Yeah.
Something we've wanted to do for a while and our lease is coming up and we decided let's do it.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
So we're moving in.
It's like 50 days, 40 days, something like that.

(00:47):
.001So we made the snap decision actually after we came back from lightning in a bottle. 19 00:00:52,625.001 --> 00:01:02,975.001 So that was something else we've been up to since our last episode, we went to a music festival in Bakersfield with a bunch of friends and just had an amazing time. 20 00:01:03,395.001 --> 00:01:04,155.001 It was my birthday. 21 00:01:04,215.001 --> 00:01:05,5.001 We celebrated it. 22 00:01:05,25.001 --> 00:01:07,135.001 Everybody came to Bakersfield for Lightning in a Bottle. 23 00:01:07,145.001 --> 00:01:07,895.001 My birthday party. 24 00:01:07,905.001 --> 00:01:08,635.001 It was great. 25 00:01:09,115.001 --> 00:01:09,555.001 Yeah. 26 00:01:09,595.001 --> 00:01:09,825.001 Yeah. 27 00:01:09,825.001 --> 00:01:10,765.001 It was just a good time. 28 00:01:10,765.001 --> 00:01:12,315.001 And yeah, it was a new festival for us. 29 00:01:12,315.001 --> 00:01:18,245 We went to Electric Forest last year, Lightning in a Bottle this year, just to try out different festivals.

(01:18):
.001And it was a really good time. 31 00:01:20,255.001 --> 00:01:21,905.001 We had a, an amazing spot. 32 00:01:21,905.001 --> 00:01:23,215.001 We were close to the water. 33 00:01:23,485.001 --> 00:01:24,665.001 We had a huge group. 34 00:01:24,665.001 --> 00:01:29,085 We tried out a group campsite for the first time, which was an experience, but it was super fun. 35 00:01:29,115.001 --> 00:01:30,765.001 We had a lot of good people with us. 36 00:01:31,115.001 --> 00:01:37,25.001 And I don't know, we spent, what, five days there? Five days there, two, two days driving, three days driving back. 37 00:01:37,65.001 --> 00:01:38,175.001 It was, it's an experience. 38 00:01:38,175.001 --> 00:01:39,165.001 It's a, it's a long time. 39 00:01:39,165.001 --> 00:01:40,755.001 We, we took Beans, our van. 40 00:01:41,155.001 --> 00:01:43,45.001 I don't know if we'll do Lightning in a Bottle again. 41 00:01:43,195.001 --> 00:01:44,335.001 We love California. 42 00:01:44,605.001 --> 00:01:46,445.001 The layout of it was just not our favorite. 43 00:01:46,445.001 --> 00:01:49,205 I think we do like forest when it comes down to it. 44 00:01:49,215.002 --> 00:01:51,555.001 We had a really magical experience of forest, so. 45 00:01:52,55.001 --> 00:01:53,695.001 Yeah, yeah, still amazing experience. 46 00:01:53,695.001 --> 00:01:56,380.001 The festival community is, Is always wonderful. 47 00:01:56,380.001 --> 00:01:58,630.001 We met so many wonderful people. 48 00:01:58,650.001 --> 00:02:03,980.001 Thank you to anybody that saw us and said hi that's always a super fun thing to see people in real life. 49 00:02:04,350.001 --> 00:02:09,325 But but yeah, and then I think it was like A week and a half after that, you went to Costa Rica.

(02:09):
I did.
I went on a woman's retreat in Costa Rica with a hundred other women that I'd never met before.
I'm sure you guys have seen some recaps of that.
I would love to do an episode specifically on that before it gets too far away. 54 00:02:21,514.999 --> 00:02:22,524.999 It was an experience. 55 00:02:22,934.999 --> 00:02:25,354.999 You kind of had to be there to experience it. 56 00:02:25,355.099 --> 00:02:27,919.9 Very transcendal, just, you know.
.0005I don't know, I don't know how to explain it, but it was, it was something that was a very, very beautiful gift to be able to go, to be able to do to have a partner who was open to my experience and open to whatever version of myself I came home to. 58 00:02:42,929.9995 --> 00:02:45,509.9995 I did not get to integrate as much as I was hoping to. 59 00:02:45,510.0005 --> 00:02:49,590.0005 I had my family in town immediately afterwards, like the next day. 60 00:02:49,780.0005 --> 00:02:51,460.0005 I love to do that kind of stuff to myself. 61 00:02:51,820.0005 --> 00:02:54,900.0005 So it was really interesting to have this really beautiful. 62 00:02:56,330.0005 --> 00:03:04,470.0005 It's like spiritual experience for a week in this incredible, incredible location and then have my family thrown back into it and just try to balance that. 63 00:03:04,480.0005 --> 00:03:07,470.0005 So it was a, it was a good practice. 64 00:03:07,680.0005 --> 00:03:08,50.0005 Yeah. 65 00:03:08,50.0005 --> 00:03:08,270.0005 Yeah. 66 00:03:08,270.0005 --> 00:03:11,160.0005 And it was your first time taking that big of a trip. 67 00:03:11,315.0005 --> 00:03:12,25.0005 By yourself. 68 00:03:12,55.0005 --> 00:03:19,865.0005 I mean, you went internationally, you only traveled internationally like a few times and you just like jumped in and got on a plane to a different country by yourself. 69 00:03:19,865.0005 --> 00:03:22,325.0005 And yeah, I'm really proud of him back home. 70 00:03:22,434.9995 --> 00:03:23,524.9995 Yeah, didn't get hurt. 71 00:03:23,575.0005 --> 00:03:24,135.0005 No. 72 00:03:24,184.9995 --> 00:03:24,634.9995 Yeah. 73 00:03:24,974.9995 --> 00:03:26,435.0005 It was scary, but it was good. 74 00:03:26,625.0005 --> 00:03:27,494.9995 Yeah, it was good. 75 00:03:27,724.9995 --> 00:03:48,434.9995 So yeah, love to Have a whole episode on that and just talk about your experience and try to put it into words if you can I know some of it can't be really described Some of it sounds weird But it like it was weird in like a really good way like at one point I had like a disco ball hanging from my pussy Chanting like with a hundred other naked women like it's good shit. 76 00:03:49,104.9995 --> 00:03:52,24.9995 Yeah Terrifying if you don't know what's going on. 77 00:03:52,454.9995 --> 00:03:52,834.9995 No. 78 00:03:52,834.9995 --> 00:03:53,114.9995 No. 79 00:03:53,114.9995 --> 00:03:53,364.9995 Yeah. 80 00:03:53,684.9995 --> 00:04:06,489.9995 Yeah you I got small recaps and yeah, I definitely feel like I I had to be there to try to understand it, but you got back from that and then a week later it was my birthday. 81 00:04:06,640.0005 --> 00:04:11,669.9995 It was your birthday and we had friends come to town to surprise Sunny, who was not surprised. 82 00:04:11,730.0005 --> 00:04:15,319.9995 Yeah, I'm hard to surprise, I'm like a little, I'm the inspector. 83 00:04:15,335.1005 --> 00:04:22,275.0005 So, you will, but but yeah, no, it was, it was really nice. 84 00:04:22,275.0005 --> 00:04:32,205.0005 You, you did set up a surprise and you did some, a little like misdirection and diversion, but yeah, it was, it was really nice to, to see. 85 00:04:33,330.0005 --> 00:04:34,810.0005 Our family, your friends and family. 86 00:04:35,330.0005 --> 00:04:36,720.0005 Yeah, Piper and Ben came down. 87 00:04:36,720.0005 --> 00:04:41,90.0005 Tabby and Noname came down and we just spent like four days with them. 88 00:04:41,100.0005 --> 00:04:44,750.0005 We floated a river here in Colorado, which was really cool. 89 00:04:45,60.0005 --> 00:04:46,539.9995 Really proud of Tabby for doing it. 90 00:04:46,539.9995 --> 00:04:48,289.9995 Cause it was a little scary at some points. 91 00:04:48,925.0005 --> 00:04:50,505.0005 And we just spent time with our family. 92 00:04:50,505.0005 --> 00:04:53,5.0005 We also had a photo shoot with our family, which was really cute. 93 00:04:53,525.0005 --> 00:04:57,965.0005 Gracie, who is our branding photographer came down for two hours, for an hour. 94 00:04:58,305.0005 --> 00:05:01,835.0005 And we just got some really cute, like family portrait style photos. 95 00:05:01,955.0005 --> 00:05:05,205.0005 So it's really cool to have friends that just want to capture moments and hang out. 96 00:05:05,405.0005 --> 00:05:05,765.0005 Yeah. 97 00:05:05,805.0005 --> 00:05:06,985.0005 And then we did a cake smash. 98 00:05:07,215.0005 --> 00:05:11,295.0005 Yeah, I did a cake smash for my birthday, which was super, super fun. 99 00:05:11,665.0005 --> 00:05:16,445.0005 We learned a lot from it, you know, one like put something on the ground. 100 00:05:17,45.0005 --> 00:05:17,635.0005 You made a mess. 101 00:05:17,645.0005 --> 00:05:22,205.0005 Three, three women smashing cakes with their butts with no covering on the ground. 102 00:05:22,245.0005 --> 00:05:27,845.0005 Yeah, no, but I am, I am like proud of all of you because you were like, I don't know how this is gonna go. 103 00:05:27,845.0005 --> 00:05:30,845.0005 And it seemed like Everyone really enjoyed it. 104 00:05:31,295.0005 --> 00:05:31,795.0005 Yeah. 105 00:05:32,265.0005 --> 00:05:32,445.0005 Yeah. 106 00:05:32,445.0005 --> 00:05:34,305.0005 It was a lot of fun covering our bodies in cake. 107 00:05:35,635.0005 --> 00:05:38,295.0005 Yeah, so yeah, that's that's what we've been up to. 108 00:05:38,295.0005 --> 00:05:39,374.9995 We've been super busy. 109 00:05:39,375.0005 --> 00:05:42,345.0005 We're definitely trying to slow down and just focus on our move. 110 00:05:43,25.0005 --> 00:05:45,545.0015 We do have a cruise with your family coming up. 111 00:05:45,890.0005 --> 00:05:49,20.0005 We have, well, next week we've got Piper coming into town. 112 00:05:49,70.0005 --> 00:05:53,160.0005 Yeah, which will be my first experience having like a romantic getaway with another woman. 113 00:05:53,350.0005 --> 00:05:54,710.0005 So I'm excited for that. 114 00:05:55,220.0005 --> 00:05:57,260.0005 And then my family's coming into town. 115 00:05:57,310.0005 --> 00:05:58,640.0005 We're taking them on a cruise. 116 00:05:58,820.0005 --> 00:05:59,180.0005 Yeah. 117 00:05:59,249.9995 --> 00:06:07,0.0005 And then we have a wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous man coming into town to hang out with us, go to a concert, and make some love with us. 118 00:06:07,210.0005 --> 00:06:07,400.0005 Yeah. 119 00:06:07,400.0005 --> 00:06:07,640.0005 Yeah. 120 00:06:07,640.0005 --> 00:06:08,390.0005 So we're slowing down. 121 00:06:08,440.0005 --> 00:06:08,650.0005 Yep. 122 00:06:08,720.0005 --> 00:06:14,903.3005 No, just, just, just but yeah, yeah, we were, we're always busy. 123 00:06:15,113.3005 --> 00:06:23,783.3005 But today I know we wanted to talk about something that is just like a super common question that we get probably multiple times a week. 124 00:06:23,993.3005 --> 00:06:35,143.3005 And it's a big part of our relationship as well, which is group play opening up our relationship and just the ways that the different ways that you can do this and. 125 00:06:35,898.3005 --> 00:06:41,448.3005 How we kind of experience this and how we have navigated it with our own relationship. 126 00:06:44,528.3005 --> 00:06:44,668.3005 Exactly. 127 00:06:45,238.3005 --> 00:06:46,698.3005 There's so many ways to do this. 128 00:06:46,938.3005 --> 00:06:51,618.3005 That when we talked about making this podcast, we really truly just want to talk about how we did this. 129 00:06:51,638.3015 --> 00:06:53,298.302 Because there's not a right way or a wrong way. 130 00:06:53,298.302 --> 00:06:55,638.302 There's ethical ways and there's safe ways to do this. 131 00:06:55,988.302 --> 00:07:01,178.302 But I truly do believe that this is up to you and your partner to figure out what ethical and safe truly means to you. 132 00:07:01,193.302 --> 00:07:01,853.302 to you. 133 00:07:02,123.302 --> 00:07:14,473.302 There are so many resources out there as well to how to open up your relationship and also how to navigate the different types of open relationships from ethically non monogamous to monogamish to full on polyamory. 134 00:07:14,503.301 --> 00:07:16,423.302 There's everything in between as well. 135 00:07:16,463.302 --> 00:07:19,113.302 So just because there's a label doesn't mean you have to fit into it. 136 00:07:19,433.302 --> 00:07:34,103.302 You can create whatever open dynamic that works for you and your partner, but we One thing I do truly think that stands true to all open relationships is that you have to be doing this for the right reason and you need to have really strong and ethical communication behind that. 137 00:07:34,103.302 --> 00:07:44,273.302 And what I mean by ethical in what we're saying is not deceitful, not hurting, respecting boundaries, respecting everybody's yeses and no's, and never sneaking behind each other's backs. 138 00:07:44,493.302 --> 00:07:49,33.302 Because that is a fun thing to navigate in an open relationship is what does cheating mean? Yeah. 139 00:07:49,53.302 --> 00:07:51,633.302 I was just going to say you, you said the word deceit. 140 00:07:51,693.302 --> 00:08:13,438.301 And I think That is one of the biggest ways to distinguish between ethical and not ethical is, is deceit involved? Because once there is deceit I think that does put you into that cheating category versus, you know, being open and having the communication and being forthcoming with everything that you're doing with people outside of your relationship. 141 00:08:13,438.301 --> 00:08:16,913.201 So I think that's, that's a really good word to, to focus in on is, is deceit. 142 00:08:17,53.301 --> 00:08:51,693.301 Is there deceit of any kind? Yeah, because a lot of people like cheating is okay I mean if you kiss somebody else if you talk to somebody else if you're sleeping with somebody else We do all of those things, but our partners know about it Like my phone is always open except for when I was trying to plan your birthday party, and then that's how he knew Yeah, yeah birthday cheating But like there's no hiding with it and that I think is is a really exciting and also a hard thing to navigate in open relationships is trying to communicate as much as possible and checking in as much as possible as well. 143 00:08:51,873.301 --> 00:08:58,823.302 How do you feel about this? Are you excited about this? Like, what are you nervous about? And, and figuring out what those, those boundaries look like for you. 144 00:08:58,833.302 --> 00:09:12,918.302 So we're We opened up our relationship almost immediately in our relationship when Sunny and I got together, we were best friends beforehand and we had really talked about things that we wanted to explore as you know, like pegging is one of those things. 145 00:09:12,928.301 --> 00:09:17,178.302 Kink is one of those things, but open relationship and group play was something that we were both really curious about. 146 00:09:17,878.301 --> 00:09:20,898.302 You had had a threesome before, right? In like college or something. 147 00:09:20,908.302 --> 00:09:21,998.302 Yeah, not. 148 00:09:22,288.302 --> 00:09:23,278.302 He'd had a threesome before. 149 00:09:23,468.302 --> 00:09:28,518.302 Yeah, I had had a threesome before and I was just frankly too immature. 150 00:09:29,418.302 --> 00:09:32,428.302 to really navigate that in a healthy way. 151 00:09:32,428.302 --> 00:09:40,478.301 So after that experience, like it, it did create a lot of tension, jealousy, like all of the negative things that could come from group play. 152 00:09:40,498.302 --> 00:09:42,868.302 It really did create that. 153 00:09:42,878.302 --> 00:09:47,8.302 So I was for a long time, someone that didn't recommend threesomes to people. 154 00:09:47,8.302 --> 00:09:54,238.302 I was like, that is going to mess things up because it was my only experience because I didn't know how to communicate. 155 00:09:54,238.302 --> 00:09:56,908.302 I did not know how to educate. 156 00:09:56,908.302 --> 00:10:08,418.302 So there were a lot of things that just, I, I frankly did wrong and I didn't do the proper planning and preparing to just go about it the right way. 157 00:10:08,458.302 --> 00:10:12,458.302 So I, yes, technically I had had a threesome but that was it. 158 00:10:12,548.302 --> 00:10:12,788.302 Yeah. 159 00:10:12,788.302 --> 00:10:15,688.302 And I had never, I've gotten the opportunity to. 160 00:10:15,718.302 --> 00:10:20,708.302 I was never with somebody that we had a strong enough foundation around trust and love and communication. 161 00:10:21,28.302 --> 00:10:23,178.302 There was a lot of shame in a lot of the relationships I was in. 162 00:10:23,698.302 --> 00:10:27,778.301 Prior to Sunny here, I had actually tried to be in an open relationship. 163 00:10:27,778.302 --> 00:10:29,768.301 It was my first open relationship. 164 00:10:30,228.302 --> 00:10:34,188.302 What this person thought that meant was, I'm going to go sleep with somebody else and not tell you. 165 00:10:34,248.302 --> 00:10:39,228.302 When I, I literally laid out this like, grand plan of how we can do this together. 166 00:10:39,478.302 --> 00:10:41,423.302 And so deceit is a really big thing. 167 00:10:41,423.302 --> 00:10:44,153.302 Like you can still cheat on people in an open relationship. 168 00:10:44,153.302 --> 00:10:50,718.302 And, and that really set it back for me in the sense of we need to establish what this looks like before opening it up. 169 00:10:50,718.302 --> 00:10:51,118.302 Mm-Hmm. 170 00:10:51,203.302 --> 00:10:52,283.302 And then it's a free for all. 171 00:10:52,283.302 --> 00:10:54,923.302 And, and now you're too scared to tell me kind of thing. 172 00:10:55,293.302 --> 00:10:56,463.302 So within the first like. 173 00:10:57,268.302 --> 00:11:13,478.301 I don't know, two weeks of us being together we talked about kinks, curiosities, fantasies, desires, group play being one of those, and we talked about the dynamics that we wanted to explore because not everybody is open to all types of threesomes, right? Not everybody's open to all types of swaps but we were kind of open to all of the things. 174 00:11:13,518.301 --> 00:11:21,138.302 At first a bi MMF was not something that Sunny had wanted to explore because he was considering himself straight at that time. 175 00:11:21,688.302 --> 00:11:21,988.302 Yeah. 176 00:11:22,38.302 --> 00:11:22,258.302 Yeah. 177 00:11:22,258.302 --> 00:11:23,898.302 And I, I just I don't know. 178 00:11:23,898.302 --> 00:11:30,428.302 I, I didn't want, I think part of it was I didn't want to try to navigate too many things at one time. 179 00:11:30,478.302 --> 00:11:36,138.302 Like, you know, having a first group play experience and having a first buy experience at the same time. 180 00:11:36,398.301 --> 00:11:45,148.302 I, you know, I, I tend to, you know, want to take things in different steps and I'm a little methodical when it just comes to a lot of things I do. 181 00:11:45,168.302 --> 00:11:48,998.302 So that was something that I, I wanted to make sure, you know. 182 00:11:49,213.302 --> 00:11:55,343.302 I understood what group play looked like before trying to explore something else brand new. 183 00:11:55,453.302 --> 00:11:55,663.302 Yeah. 184 00:11:56,133.302 --> 00:11:59,983.302 And so we had somebody kind of in mind when we had first gotten together. 185 00:12:00,3.302 --> 00:12:03,703.302 I have been bisexual most of my adult life. 186 00:12:03,893.302 --> 00:12:11,273.301 And I did have a crush on this wonderful woman and slowly just started bringing this idea up to her, slowly bringing this idea up to Sunny. 187 00:12:11,633.301 --> 00:12:18,888.302 And, you know, Sunny and I really sat down and talked about what would a threesome look like for us because communication is really big for us. 188 00:12:19,38.302 --> 00:12:27,788.302 Making sure that anybody who's in our dynamic is truly cared for and nobody ever feels used or hurt in that situation, which is hard when there's more than one person involved. 189 00:12:27,788.302 --> 00:12:34,488.302 And so that is where I think the communication really falls in and anybody that we're playing with has to have strong communication with. 190 00:12:34,633.402 --> 00:12:39,539.93533333 Yeah, yeah. 191 00:12:39,539.93533333 --> 00:13:08,999.93533333 I mean, I think, like, when we, when we started talking about this, that's, that, that was the time where we started Like almost thinking about scenarios and really trying to mentally not like plan this or try to expect everything You're not gonna be able to expect everything but really Understand like what each other would be okay with and and let that guide like our boundaries like what what would be okay? Because I mean Just because you're having a threesome, that doesn't mean that there's like penetration. 192 00:13:08,999.93533333 --> 00:13:11,669.93533333 You know what I mean? Like figuring out what those boundaries are. 193 00:13:11,669.93533333 --> 00:13:20,159.93533333 So like, okay, with kissing and okay with penetration or okay, like, you know, coming inside someone else, things like that. 194 00:13:20,159.93533333 --> 00:13:47,994.93533333 And really understanding like, you know, where can we start to explore this mentally before we actually get in the room with someone and then, you know, Not something bad happens, but something really uncomfortable happens and that leads to like someone shutting down or being hurt in the moment So that's what we really started to do beforehand is, you know, understand Okay, like, you know, we had talked about like no cream pies and stuff like that at first which That boundary has changed for like immediately changed. 195 00:13:48,204.93533333 --> 00:13:56,144.93433333 And I think a big part of that was, we do truly believe in compersion with each other and that is a really big leading factor in our relationship. 196 00:13:56,394.93433333 --> 00:14:04,364.93533333 And what I mean by that is, I am so invested in Sunny's happiness, even if that means I'm not the one directly involved in that happiness. 197 00:14:04,364.93533333 --> 00:14:08,724.93533333 Like, I don't want to limit any experience for Sunny and vice versa. 198 00:14:08,954.93533333 --> 00:14:17,89.93533333 And also what that meant for us I think it's really important and we learn this in our swap of when we are in a group play experience. 199 00:14:17,109.93533333 --> 00:14:19,359.93533333 I think totality is really, really important. 200 00:14:19,389.93533333 --> 00:14:23,839.93533333 If I am with another man, I want that man to, to feel like I'm truly with that person. 201 00:14:23,839.93533333 --> 00:14:27,409.93533333 He's not being distracted by his partner or something else that's going on. 202 00:14:27,409.93533333 --> 00:14:33,579.93533333 And when Sunny's with a woman, I want him to be completely invested in her because I know what it feels like when somebody is distracted. 203 00:14:33,579.93533333 --> 00:14:33,779.93533333 Right. 204 00:14:33,779.93533333 --> 00:14:38,49.93533333 And so if we're in this group play experience, I think totality is a really important thing. 205 00:14:38,549.93533333 --> 00:14:47,819.93533333 And if that means that like you're worried about you're about to come and you're going to do that inside of her and that's going to be a really bad thing like that wasn't totality for us and that wasn't compersion for us. 206 00:14:47,839.93433333 --> 00:14:52,229.93533333 And so we realized that the cream pie is not an end all for us. 207 00:14:52,229.93533333 --> 00:14:55,419.93433333 That's not a deeper level of intimacy that I should. 208 00:14:55,569.93533333 --> 00:14:57,399.93533333 Be only in charge of kind of thing. 209 00:14:57,409.93533333 --> 00:15:02,829.93533333 And so we, we talked about it and when we were in the moment, I realized that's not something that makes me insecure. 210 00:15:03,49.93533333 --> 00:15:03,369.93533333 Yeah. 211 00:15:03,369.93533333 --> 00:15:03,679.93483333 Yeah. 212 00:15:03,679.93483333 --> 00:15:20,969.93533333 And like, I, I think you know, on the being with someone else, like in a threesome, like there, there are, you know, threesomes can be a little difficult to keep everyone involved all of the time, you know? So like, you know, there is, I think a common fear with threesomes is like feeling left out. 213 00:15:21,204.93533333 --> 00:15:50,139.93533333 Like, you know, like, and, and that's something, like, people need water sometimes, and, you know, like, is it okay, in other scenarios, like, is it okay, like, okay, I'm gonna go up and get a snack, like, do, should we stop and wait for you, or can we continue to play without you feeling left out, hurt, you know, things like that, so I think those are just some of the scenarios that we, you know, You know, thought about beforehand, also experienced in the moment, you know, a lot of people also don't realize like three is an uneven number. 214 00:15:50,139.93533333 --> 00:15:57,429.93533333 There's only so many things, especially with two women unless there's a strap involved, but there is so much pleasure in watching as well. 215 00:15:57,689.93433333 --> 00:16:02,119.93433333 That give yourself permission, give yourself your partner permission to just watch. 216 00:16:02,319.93433333 --> 00:16:04,849.93433333 And like Sunny said, take a break, get water, get snacks, that kind of stuff. 217 00:16:04,849.93433333 --> 00:16:11,749.83433333 But if, if it doesn't make sense to try and put yourself in there, like just watch the pleasure happening as well, and let it just flow. 218 00:16:11,749.93433333 --> 00:16:13,69.93433333 Flow fluidly. 219 00:16:13,69.93433333 --> 00:16:15,979.93433333 Like the more that you think about a threesome, the harder that they become. 220 00:16:16,9.93433333 --> 00:16:16,99.93433333 Mm-Hmm. 221 00:16:16,339.93433333 --> 00:16:18,409.93433333 And the more you're in your head and not in the moment. 222 00:16:18,619.93433333 --> 00:16:19,459.93433333 Yeah, exactly. 223 00:16:19,459.93433333 --> 00:16:33,539.93433333 So, so again, you can't really foresee everything that's going to happen, but I think you can really think about the things that might make you uncomfortable or might make you feel hurt or jealous. 224 00:16:33,569.93433333 --> 00:16:42,299.9343333 We're gonna touch on jealousy a little bit later, but those are some of the things that you just wanna make sure, like, you're sure you, you are not comfortable with that are talked about beforehand. 225 00:16:42,549.9343333 --> 00:16:46,199.9343333 And, and if something comes up, you're able to talk about it in the moment as well. 226 00:16:46,504.9343333 --> 00:16:47,594.9343333 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 227 00:16:47,594.9343333 --> 00:16:51,694.9343333 And I think that's why it's really important for us to build relationships with anybody that we play with. 228 00:16:51,954.9343333 --> 00:17:05,604.9343333 This is why we don't consider ourselves swingers is because that I think that communication and those boundary communication, like that really does come with time and that comes with respect that comes with a relationship, whether you're dating somebody or not, but that friendship needs to be there. 229 00:17:05,604.9343333 --> 00:17:08,14.9343333 Like, Hey, we're We're really excited to play with you. 230 00:17:08,14.9343333 --> 00:17:15,174.9343333 One, I want to hear, what are you looking forward to? What are some things that you would really like? Because I want to grow and I want to learn you, you're in our relationship. 231 00:17:15,174.9343333 --> 00:17:16,204.9343333 We want to take care of you. 232 00:17:16,434.9343333 --> 00:17:19,74.9338333 But I also want to tell you what our boundary is. 233 00:17:19,74.9338333 --> 00:17:22,104.9343333 And our biggest boundary is you can't sleep with us because there's no room in our bed. 234 00:17:22,184.9343333 --> 00:17:26,134.9333333 Like we've tried this and I am the one that's always too nice. 235 00:17:26,135.0333333 --> 00:17:27,334.9343333 And I'm like, yeah, let's try. 236 00:17:27,334.9343333 --> 00:17:30,914.9343333 And then I'm the one that's like slipping out in the middle of the night because I'm too hot. 237 00:17:30,914.9343333 --> 00:17:32,124.9343333 You can't sleep in the middle of a bed. 238 00:17:32,144.9343333 --> 00:17:32,844.9343333 Like it's miserable. 239 00:17:32,845.0343333 --> 00:17:34,194.8343333 Unless. 240 00:17:34,364.9343333 --> 00:17:38,884.9343333 Yeah, you need like a double king bed, but even a king bed is not enough for not big enough for three. 241 00:17:38,934.9343333 --> 00:17:40,624.9343333 No, i'm stuck in the middle of a blanket. 242 00:17:40,634.9343333 --> 00:17:41,484.9343333 That's the problem. 243 00:17:41,764.9343333 --> 00:17:42,44.9343333 Yeah. 244 00:17:42,54.9343333 --> 00:17:48,424.9333333 So yeah, that's our biggest bound That's our only boundary really is you can't sleep in our bed And it's not because we don't want you in our beds because it's too hot. 245 00:17:48,434.9343333 --> 00:17:49,24.9343333 There's no room. 246 00:17:49,234.9343333 --> 00:18:11,624.9338333 Yeah So but but yeah, you talked about like building the friendship building the relationship and that's really what we did with our first threesome Our first ffm was I mean we we hung out with this woman for months You I would say at least a month or so, we became good friends, I was friends with her, and we had really kind of planned out what this looked like. 247 00:18:11,624.9338333 --> 00:18:16,664.9338333 I had, one, gotten full consent from her, like, hey, do you want to stay the night? You don't have to sleep in the same bed. 248 00:18:16,664.9338333 --> 00:18:22,745.0338333 Like, I, I had given a lot of outs, and this is something that I do personally, but this was also something that We are two people. 249 00:18:22,745.0338333 --> 00:18:24,465.0338333 I don't ever want to make somebody feel trapped. 250 00:18:24,765.0338333 --> 00:18:27,215.0338333 And so there was a lot of communication about that. 251 00:18:27,265.0338333 --> 00:18:28,445.0338333 We made our dinner. 252 00:18:28,635.0338333 --> 00:18:32,255.0328333 I actually let her make the first move because once again, there's two of us. 253 00:18:32,255.0338333 --> 00:18:34,145.0338333 I don't want you to feel pressured into anything. 254 00:18:34,145.0338333 --> 00:18:35,755.0328333 So she made the first move. 255 00:18:36,115.0328333 --> 00:18:42,655.0338333 We went into the bedroom, her and I got naked under the blanket while you were in the bathroom brushing your teeth or something and started to play. 256 00:18:42,665.0338333 --> 00:19:08,460.0338333 And I wanted it to feel really safe and comfortable and it, at any point, this is a big thing for us, no matter what swap, whether that is making content or playing just in our real lives, if it's a no, like, it's a no, we can stop at any point, there's no shame, there's no guilt, there's no pressure, and so we made it a very safe experience, and nobody came this first time, like, this was just us exploring and having fun and feeling good, but yeah. 257 00:19:08,460.0338333 --> 00:19:08,520.0338333 Thank you. 258 00:19:08,715.0338333 --> 00:19:11,815.0338333 For the first couple of threesomes, like we didn't have an orgasm. 259 00:19:12,125.0338333 --> 00:19:12,995.0338333 No, no, no. 260 00:19:13,205.0338333 --> 00:19:30,185.0338333 And, and yeah, I think that is one of the, the big things that can happen when just you're with a new partner, at least I'm going to speak personally is, you know, that pressure to perform like specifically to climax when really the focus should just be on exploring each other in that new space. 261 00:19:30,185.0338333 --> 00:19:33,125.0338333 And that's something that I've really worked on. 262 00:19:33,155.0338333 --> 00:19:37,615.0338333 And I think it is an important thing to think about is like not having the goal. 263 00:19:38,850.0338333 --> 00:19:52,610.0338333 climax or anything specific, but just sharing space with each other, sharing intimacy, exploring each other's bodies, learning what you know, the, the person coming into your relationship likes so that you can have a good experience. 264 00:19:52,620.0338333 --> 00:20:01,170.0338333 So I think that's, that's one of the biggest takeaways I've gotten from our, our first few threesomes was not feeling the pressure. 265 00:20:01,170.0338333 --> 00:20:10,210.0328333 Like no one, You know, no one is putting that on you, but you, you know, yeah, I do think it's funny because everybody came the first fm we had It was a good one. 266 00:20:10,220.0338333 --> 00:20:10,870.0338333 Yeah. 267 00:20:10,960.0338333 --> 00:20:26,770.0333333 Yeah I was gonna say I want to back up a tiny bit because you talked about initiation and I think that's one thing that can be really hard even though you don't you know, you set the stage, like we're going to make you dinner, you can spend the night, you know, there's no expectation, but like, even still being together. 268 00:20:26,770.0333333 --> 00:20:42,130.0348333 And I know we've felt this in other scenarios is like, okay, how do we start? Like, when do we start? What does that look like? And I think that initiation can just be a really hard thing unless you just say it like, you know, you're trying to read body language, trying to read cues, waiting for someone to make the move. 269 00:20:42,130.0348333 --> 00:20:45,770.0348333 I think just, you know, with the communication line that you develop. 270 00:20:46,80.0348333 --> 00:21:13,50.0348333 Beforehand you should carry that into the the real space, you know, like hey, let's you know, let's all go cuddle or something You know, like, you know starting it slow and just being like, all right Let's all go get naked and do it like, you know But I I just wanted to talk about that a little bit because I know we have felt that a few times You know, and I still think we kind of feel that every time especially when we're not feeling it Filming like I think filming does just like okay, you know, we're doing this we're setting up the cameras like, you know We're getting ready. 271 00:21:13,50.0348333 --> 00:21:25,670.0348333 But when we're when we remove the cameras, I think it can feel a little ambiguous at times One thing I have noticed is that it always does seem to be the female Initiating this and I don't know if that's something that we want to continue. 272 00:21:25,750.0348333 --> 00:21:34,245.0348333 Yeah Because I, I think it would be helpful in some of our current scenarios where like maybe you or one of the other guys would initiate it a little bit more. 273 00:21:34,305.0348333 --> 00:21:34,535.0348333 Yeah. 274 00:21:34,685.0348333 --> 00:21:39,115.0348333 But I do feel like it is the females doing it and I think that that's obviously a respectful thing. 275 00:21:39,505.0348333 --> 00:21:41,775.0338333 But yeah, it is a lot of pressure to be like, okay. 276 00:21:42,510.0348333 --> 00:21:53,740.0348333 Can I kiss you kind of thing and that's something that we're learning our dynamic now has changed so much from in the past But I do agree like if we're already talking about having a threesome, we just need to talk about it. 277 00:21:54,180.0348333 --> 00:22:00,380.0348333 Hey, can I kiss you? Hey, how are you feeling like having that dialogue is really really important outside of text as well. 278 00:22:00,380.1348333 --> 00:22:01,420.0348333 Mm hmm Yeah, yeah. 279 00:22:01,420.0348333 --> 00:22:15,860.0338333 So I just wanted to talk about that because I know that is, that can be another one of those scenarios where you're like, okay, we're all here and we talked about it, but like, how do we, how do we actually get there? Yeah, like if you're in a threesome situation or a foursome or an orgy, you gotta have some balls. 280 00:22:15,900.0348333 --> 00:22:21,330.0338333 And I mean that in like the most empowering way possible of, all right, someone's got to step up. 281 00:22:21,380.0338333 --> 00:22:21,880.0338333 We're in this. 282 00:22:22,570.0348333 --> 00:22:49,380.1348333 How are you guys feeling like I would love to kiss you like yeah, and and more of an asking not like let's do This is what we're doing It's always the you know from the place of consent like I would love to like does anybody want to cuddle like can I kiss? you like Massage, whatever, you know just some sort of initiation while also giving the other person You know the option to agree to it or to disagree to it another thing that I think is really important to talk about with group play is what happens afterwards. 283 00:22:49,390.1348333 --> 00:23:02,940.1318333 A lot of, like, you look this up, you Google it, okay, how do I find the threesome? How do I have the threesome? And then the article just ends, well, what are you doing with your unicorn now? Like I hope you're not just kicking them out because it is really important to remember these people are in your relationship. 284 00:23:02,940.1318333 --> 00:23:03,960.1318333 These people are in your lives. 285 00:23:03,960.1318333 --> 00:23:05,180.1318333 They're fulfilling your fantasy. 286 00:23:05,180.1318333 --> 00:23:09,765.1328333 They're doing ever it is that you wanted them to do, you need to care for them in such a way. 287 00:23:10,5.1328333 --> 00:23:13,195.1328333 And so after our first threesome, she stayed the night with us. 288 00:23:13,195.1328333 --> 00:23:15,595.1328333 The next day we went on a full hike. 289 00:23:15,745.1328333 --> 00:23:15,985.1328333 Yeah. 290 00:23:16,5.1328333 --> 00:23:19,45.1328333 We did like a really fun wandering day in Rocky Mountain National Park. 291 00:23:19,45.1328333 --> 00:23:20,355.1328333 We made dinner that night. 292 00:23:20,865.1328333 --> 00:23:31,495.1328333 Like we had a full experience and I do think you don't always need to do that, but I think it's really important to ask this person, what do they need? And this is where aftercare is really important as well. 293 00:23:31,835.1328333 --> 00:23:40,845.1328333 Aftercare is very, very big in our relationship, obviously, because the name of our podcast, it's also really big, but what do you need and not assuming that she's the same as me. 294 00:23:41,25.1328333 --> 00:23:42,245.1328333 Like she might not like cuddling. 295 00:23:42,245.1328333 --> 00:23:44,425.1328333 She might not like discussing or debriefing. 296 00:23:44,425.1328333 --> 00:24:01,330.1328333 She might want to go shower and have some alone time, but really asking, What can I do for you right now? What do you need to feel totally loved? What do you need to full, like fulfill this full cycle of, of this playtime together? Those things are very important when you're talking about boundaries and turn ons and turn offs and aftercare. 297 00:24:01,440.1328333 --> 00:24:01,850.1328333 So. 298 00:24:02,740.1318333 --> 00:24:03,660.1318333 Yeah, absolutely. 299 00:24:04,0.1318333 --> 00:24:13,180.2328333 And then when it comes to our first FFM threesome the very first time we actually had something happen that could have been a really difficult scenario. 300 00:24:13,440.2318333 --> 00:24:15,370.2308333 And I just wanted to share that if that's okay. 301 00:24:16,905.2318333 --> 00:24:21,585.2318333 Yeah, so this also goes into the why we don't sleep in the same bed. 302 00:24:21,595.2318333 --> 00:24:26,95.2318333 Like this was, you know, we were done playing and we all decided to go to bed. 303 00:24:26,95.2318333 --> 00:24:28,885.2318333 So we went to bed, Sky got hot. 304 00:24:28,955.2318333 --> 00:24:29,925.2308333 In your queen bed. 305 00:24:30,155.2318333 --> 00:24:31,125.2318333 In my queen bed, yeah. 306 00:24:31,125.3318333 --> 00:24:33,35.2308333 Yeah, we've learned. 307 00:24:33,215.2308333 --> 00:24:33,645.2328333 Back in the day. 308 00:24:33,755.2308333 --> 00:24:34,855.2318333 But yeah, Sky got hot. 309 00:24:34,905.2318333 --> 00:24:37,445.2318333 She went out to sleep on the couch. 310 00:24:37,445.2318333 --> 00:24:39,390.2318333 She's like, I just You know, want to be able to go to sleep. 311 00:24:39,390.2318333 --> 00:24:40,100.2318333 I'm going to leave them. 312 00:24:40,350.2318333 --> 00:24:58,370.2318333 And I had actually woke up in the middle of the night and, you know, in my groggy still horny state, like thought that I was cuddling with Sky when I was actually cuddling with the other woman and started to initiate sex and actually started to have a little bit of sex with her before I realized that it wasn't you. 313 00:24:59,10.2318333 --> 00:25:02,50.2318333 And this was something that I immediately stopped. 314 00:25:02,50.2318333 --> 00:25:03,610.2318333 I was like, we hadn't discussed this. 315 00:25:03,630.2318333 --> 00:25:04,710.2318333 Like you weren't in the room. 316 00:25:04,740.2318333 --> 00:25:06,150.2313333 We were only playing together. 317 00:25:06,150.2313333 --> 00:25:08,210.2318333 Like, so I actually. 318 00:25:09,375.2318333 --> 00:25:09,905.2318333 Got out. 319 00:25:09,925.2318333 --> 00:25:12,115.2318333 I, first of all, I said, sorry to the woman first. 320 00:25:12,115.2318333 --> 00:25:13,245.2318333 I was like, oh my gosh. 321 00:25:13,245.2318333 --> 00:25:38,420.2318333 I like, you know There were no signs that she wasn't okay with it But I still checked in and then I actually went out of the couch and I woke you up And I you know, this is the big part about communication You know, no deceit no hiding anything as I was like, I need to tell you this right now Like I I I just want to let you know that this happened and then i'm sorry, you know, I I don't want to hurt you But I want you to know this and it was It was actually really good. 322 00:25:38,740.2318333 --> 00:25:39,180.2318333 Yeah. 323 00:25:39,240.2318333 --> 00:25:39,970.2318333 Yeah, you woke me up. 324 00:25:40,0.2318333 --> 00:25:42,620.2318333 You told me I didn't really know what was happening He looked at you. 325 00:25:42,620.2318333 --> 00:25:46,540.2318333 I said, I was sorry that that happened to you and told you to go back to bed Mm hmm. 326 00:25:47,240.2318333 --> 00:25:59,20.2318333 Yeah, and everything was fine when really that could have been something that I just like Tried to hide, you know went into damage mode and and you know It could have honestly a past me probably would have tried to do that. 327 00:25:59,100.2318333 --> 00:26:06,220.2318333 Like it's it's it's It was really nice to, to feel scared to, and to immediately address it. 328 00:26:06,400.2318333 --> 00:26:10,450.2318333 And to be validated in that, like, I didn't lose my mind and freak out. 329 00:26:10,450.2318333 --> 00:26:12,510.2308333 And like you, you were not in trouble. 330 00:26:12,510.2318333 --> 00:26:13,860.2318333 There was nothing to be in trouble for. 331 00:26:13,860.2318333 --> 00:26:15,150.2318333 I appreciated your honesty. 332 00:26:15,220.2318333 --> 00:26:17,390.2318333 Like we're in this together. 333 00:26:17,430.2308333 --> 00:26:19,430.2318333 It's going to be whatever it's going to be. 334 00:26:19,430.2318333 --> 00:26:21,330.2318333 We're going to make mistakes, whatever those look like. 335 00:26:21,700.2318333 --> 00:26:21,960.2318333 Yeah. 336 00:26:22,30.2318333 --> 00:26:22,760.2318333 But we can talk about it. 337 00:26:22,760.2318333 --> 00:26:24,90.2318333 And that's not a mistake in my mind. 338 00:26:24,435.2318333 --> 00:26:25,205.1318333 No, no. 339 00:26:25,205.2318333 --> 00:26:32,695.2318333 So yeah, just a, just a very specific example of something that like, you can address things in real time and it's, it's okay. 340 00:26:32,695.2318333 --> 00:26:33,555.2318333 You just need to talk. 341 00:26:33,725.2318333 --> 00:26:34,105.2318333 Yeah. 342 00:26:34,405.2318333 --> 00:26:35,165.2318333 So, yeah. 343 00:26:35,245.2318333 --> 00:26:41,375.2308333 But And then I think a big thing for us was a big fantasy of mine was always an MFM. 344 00:26:41,785.2308333 --> 00:26:43,695.2318333 This took us a while to find. 345 00:26:44,75.2318333 --> 00:26:48,815.2318333 We actually did our first swap before we did an MFM because It was really hard. 346 00:26:48,855.2318333 --> 00:27:02,895.2308333 If you think about a dynamic, you're trying to find a person that both of you are attracted to in some way, whether you are sexually attracted to a man or not, you still want to be attracted to this person's energy, to this person's aura, to their safety, like whatever that looks like. 347 00:27:03,265.2308333 --> 00:27:11,975.2318333 And it was hard for us to find somebody that we wanted to become friends with, that we felt safe with them in our bedroom, in our lives, in our brand, because they know what we do for work. 348 00:27:12,455.2318333 --> 00:27:21,110.2318333 And We also, the first person that we had an MFM with, this incredible human of a man we did not film with this person. 349 00:27:21,110.2318333 --> 00:27:22,940.2308333 This was not even on the table for us. 350 00:27:22,940.2318333 --> 00:27:28,580.1318333 This was clearly just for exploring and connecting and we, we really, really loved it. 351 00:27:28,910.2318333 --> 00:27:34,410.2318333 I don't know, we fell into a different version of a group play where we did try to explore polyamory a little bit. 352 00:27:34,710.2318333 --> 00:27:42,180.2313333 We were not in a place in our lives to explore that at the time but I'm hoping that we ethically navigated that the best way possible. 353 00:27:42,180.2313333 --> 00:27:45,510.2318333 It is hard when there's three people and you don't ever want to hurt somebody. 354 00:27:45,700.2318333 --> 00:27:51,850.2318333 But that sometimes is what happens when there's, when there's uneven numbers involved and we're just not all there emotionally in the same place. 355 00:27:51,880.2318333 --> 00:27:58,400.2318333 But our first MFM was an incredible experience, one that I felt very, very safe with. 356 00:27:58,400.2318333 --> 00:28:01,700.2318333 My first DP experience was incredible with this human. 357 00:28:02,460.2318333 --> 00:28:02,810.2313333 Yeah. 358 00:28:02,810.2313333 --> 00:28:04,865.1318333 And we, we met this person on field. 359 00:28:05,385.2318333 --> 00:28:13,45.2318333 This was not somebody that we had known, but it was somebody that we like, you know, met on field and then actually ended up going to the same concert too. 360 00:28:13,45.2318333 --> 00:28:17,265.2308333 And he was just going to stop by and say hi and ended up spending the whole concert with us. 361 00:28:17,305.2318333 --> 00:28:30,310.2318333 And then, you know, we connected after that and we, we started to have the same dialogue that we had with our, our first FFM, which was, you know, Are you open to sharing intimate space? What does this look like? Talking about boundaries. 362 00:28:30,550.2318333 --> 00:28:45,140.2308333 And this was actually a different experience because I, you know, was starting to become way more bi curious and open to the idea of, you know, interacting with a man in a group setting. 363 00:28:45,340.2308333 --> 00:28:49,560.2318333 And it's actually something I, I spent some time speaking to this person about. 364 00:28:49,570.2318333 --> 00:28:53,700.2308333 Like I, I went to I went over and him and I just went on a walk. 365 00:28:54,160.2318333 --> 00:29:14,220.2318333 And we just talked like, yeah, yeah, we just, we just talked and, you know, we, we didn't necessarily want to say yes or no, this is happening, but just having that dialogue and, and really talking about the scary things, talking about the unknowns without any goal of like necessarily having answers, just having the conversation, which was really cool. 366 00:29:14,230.2318333 --> 00:29:17,20.2318333 And this was before we, we had our threesome. 367 00:29:17,290.2318333 --> 00:29:19,595.1318333 And we just decided that, you know, we were, we were. 368 00:29:19,925.2318333 --> 00:29:23,625.2318333 open to things, but we weren't going to put that pressure on ourselves to do it. 369 00:29:23,895.2318333 --> 00:29:25,895.2318333 And we ended up not really interacting. 370 00:29:25,895.2318333 --> 00:29:40,165.2318333 There was some touching, like I helped him get inside of you at one point and, you know, things like that, but it was just really nice, you know, again, talking about something that could possibly be a boundary for someone else, curiosity for me and, and what that looks like. 371 00:29:40,165.2318333 --> 00:29:52,850.2318333 So that was, that was a really nice experience to, to be able to do so that when we did get into the bedroom, you know, we knew that That there was a general understanding of what was potentially okay without, you know, setting that expectation. 372 00:29:52,860.2318333 --> 00:30:03,370.2308333 Well, and I think one thing that's really important for us, and this is not the case for everybody, and I don't want you to feel like it is, but I don't want to be in a threesome experience with people that are not bi curious. 373 00:30:03,780.2318333 --> 00:30:07,800.2318333 At least a little bit or at least comfortable with the same sex in the same room. 374 00:30:08,110.2318333 --> 00:30:11,310.2318333 One experience we had was there was a couple that reached out to us. 375 00:30:11,570.2318333 --> 00:30:13,60.2318333 This woman was not bisexual. 376 00:30:13,60.2318333 --> 00:30:15,90.2318333 They wanted to just make content with us. 377 00:30:15,290.2318333 --> 00:30:21,950.2328333 But this idea of doing a threesome one for content sake, but two, that this woman was not bisexual at all. 378 00:30:22,200.2328333 --> 00:30:28,200.2328333 It actually like, it turned me off in the sense of if I accidentally touch her or raise her or. 379 00:30:28,630.2328333 --> 00:30:35,830.2328333 accidentally kiss her or something, like, because you're just in the heat of this moment with these people, like that scared me a lot. 380 00:30:35,830.2328333 --> 00:30:37,220.2318333 And it just didn't feel true to me. 381 00:30:37,220.2328333 --> 00:30:38,270.2328333 It didn't feel true to us. 382 00:30:38,270.2328333 --> 00:30:40,870.2318333 And we don't make content just for content's sake. 383 00:30:41,160.2328333 --> 00:30:50,350.2328333 But this was something that we were really exploring when it came to a threesome with guys was, you know, I don't need to have a bisexual MMF, it's fucking hot and it's one of my favorite things in the world. 384 00:30:50,670.2328333 --> 00:31:01,720.2328333 But I do need to be with another man that is secure enough in his own sexuality and secure enough in our dynamic that if your guys dicks touch when you're trying to put them both inside of me, he's not freaking out and running. 385 00:31:02,120.2328333 --> 00:31:15,10.2318333 Like, I, I need to have a man that is secure enough in himself to know that this is a wonderful group, a dynamic, and that you accidentally touching or grazing another man does not define your sexuality. 386 00:31:15,290.2318333 --> 00:31:22,570.2318333 And that's why I think labels are really hard at times, but I don't see us just playing with 100 percent straight. 387 00:31:22,900.2318333 --> 00:31:30,800.2318333 Men Just in that sense I'm not saying that they need to kiss you or touch you but i'm saying that I would like you guys to be close to Each other smashing me. 388 00:31:30,840.2318333 --> 00:31:33,0.2318333 Yeah without an insecurity happening. 389 00:31:33,110.2318333 --> 00:31:33,420.2318333 Yeah. 390 00:31:33,420.2318333 --> 00:31:34,450.2318333 Yeah, absolutely. 391 00:31:34,470.2318333 --> 00:31:34,720.2318333 Yeah. 392 00:31:34,720.2318333 --> 00:31:38,0.2318333 No, I I definitely Think that that is important. 393 00:31:38,10.2318333 --> 00:31:51,980.2318333 Like there's just there's especially once you get past three like there's just too many parts to To really have to be mindful of that And, and, you know, kind of pull yourself out of that space. 394 00:31:51,990.2318333 --> 00:32:02,340.2318333 Like that is one thing that I think can happen with group play is, is trying to think about these things, you know, and, and, and, and really trying to navigate. 395 00:32:02,735.2318333 --> 00:32:07,645.2318333 specifically not touching another person, just, it pulls away from the experience. 396 00:32:08,45.2318333 --> 00:32:16,475.2318333 It does, and then you're, and I think checking in is a really good thing to do, but if you're constantly like, is this okay? Is this okay? Like, my pussy just dried up constantly. 397 00:32:16,545.2318333 --> 00:32:17,245.2318333 Yeah. 398 00:32:17,605.2318333 --> 00:32:25,850.2318333 I don't want to have to worry if I'm, if I'm hurting you, because your safety is my biggest thing, but why are we in this dynamic if, if this is potentially not okay? Yeah. 399 00:32:25,920.2318333 --> 00:32:26,170.2318333 Yeah. 400 00:32:26,260.2318333 --> 00:32:26,500.2318333 Yeah. 401 00:32:26,500.2318333 --> 00:32:38,50.2318333 So yeah, that, I know that, and that's something that can happen with just your other partner too, especially in the beginning is like, is my partner having a good time? Like, are they okay? You know, and that, that's something that it will happen. 402 00:32:38,50.2318333 --> 00:32:41,470.2318333 It does happen, especially in the beginning because you care about them. 403 00:32:41,530.2318333 --> 00:32:43,120.2308333 You want to make sure that they're okay. 404 00:32:43,130.2318333 --> 00:32:44,870.2318333 And those little check ins are important. 405 00:32:44,870.2318333 --> 00:32:50,535.2318333 But as you, as you, you know, get better, like, you know, your partner, you know, We'll come to you if you're, if they're not okay. 406 00:32:50,535.2318333 --> 00:32:53,605.2318333 Versus you having to, you know, be that monitor. 407 00:32:53,605.2318333 --> 00:32:58,285.2318333 And I think making sure that we're playing with people that will keep my partner safe kind of thing. 408 00:32:58,285.2318333 --> 00:33:02,365.2308333 Like I know that when I'm playing with Ben, you're not like as my partner. 409 00:33:02,365.2318333 --> 00:33:02,885.2318333 Okay. 410 00:33:02,965.2318333 --> 00:33:07,975.2318333 Kind of thing, because you get to enjoy Piper, but you're also like, you know, that Ben is keeping me safe. 411 00:33:08,45.2308333 --> 00:33:08,625.2308333 Yeah, absolutely. 412 00:33:08,665.2308333 --> 00:33:13,120.1318333 And like, when we do, if we do start to explore that with like tabby and no name with him. 413 00:33:13,130.2318333 --> 00:33:14,410.2318333 Soft play and those kinds of things. 414 00:33:14,410.2318333 --> 00:33:17,820.2318333 Like those are all things that we're going to discuss and those boundaries are going to be what we have. 415 00:33:18,150.2318333 --> 00:33:23,560.2318333 And that's what we're going to be remembering is this is what this boundary is in this play, not necessarily. 416 00:33:23,590.2308333 --> 00:33:26,130.2318333 Can I actually touch your foot? Exactly. 417 00:33:26,270.2318333 --> 00:33:26,590.2318333 Yeah. 418 00:33:26,760.2308333 --> 00:33:27,10.2308333 Yeah. 419 00:33:27,10.2308333 --> 00:33:32,70.2308333 So yeah, the, our first MFM was yeah, phenomenal. 420 00:33:32,70.2318333 --> 00:33:41,730.2318333 And then we had I mean, there was, there was one where like, I went out to dinner with one of my friends and. 421 00:33:42,870.2318333 --> 00:33:46,500.2318333 Our male partner came over, and he wanted, he was We went to dinner. 422 00:33:46,540.2318333 --> 00:33:48,390.2318333 Oh, you went a yeah, we went to Mr. 423 00:33:48,390.2318333 --> 00:33:48,800.2318333 Oso's. 424 00:33:48,880.2318333 --> 00:33:49,810.2318333 Oh, that's right, yeah. 425 00:33:49,810.3318333 --> 00:33:50,770.2318333 Yeah, we went on our own date. 426 00:33:50,780.2318333 --> 00:33:54,555.2308333 Yeah, and then and He's amazing at Shabari. 427 00:33:54,555.2308333 --> 00:33:57,885.2308333 So there was always the intention to, to tie afterwards. 428 00:33:57,915.2308333 --> 00:34:06,905.2308333 And at one point, like I got a text from him using your phone of you, like tied up naked, like with wax on you. 429 00:34:07,215.2308333 --> 00:34:11,225.2308333 And I was like eating hibachi with my friend and I was like, I got to go. 430 00:34:11,665.2308333 --> 00:34:12,685.2308333 This is super sweet. 431 00:34:12,685.2308333 --> 00:34:15,515.2308333 Like it was, it was such a fun thing to get. 432 00:34:15,515.2308333 --> 00:34:17,355.2308333 It wasn't something I really expected. 433 00:34:17,365.2308333 --> 00:34:21,165.2298333 And then, yeah, I just like ran into the room and dove in. 434 00:34:21,895.2308333 --> 00:34:39,555.3298333 Yeah, that was, that was the night that He came in you first and then I immediately came in you afterwards, which was which was really cool Those are I think one of our only double cream pies that we've we've done where at least I went after I don't think I think The first time was a double cream pie as well, but you went first. 435 00:34:39,585.3298333 --> 00:34:41,375.3298333 Yeah, and then he was so sweet. 436 00:34:41,375.3308333 --> 00:34:47,330.3308333 He asked he's like Where would you like him do I get to or where would you like me to yeah, which is amazing. 437 00:34:47,550.3308333 --> 00:35:06,165.3308333 I love you But yeah, so we had a couple experiences with that person they were all wonderful but that was when we We're, we're trying to date and we realized that we just didn't have the, the capacity or we just didn't understand enough about it. 438 00:35:06,585.3308333 --> 00:35:11,665.3308333 Like I am going to just reiterate, like at the beginning of this relationship, you and I had just gotten married. 439 00:35:12,205.3308333 --> 00:35:13,595.3298333 We had just moved in together. 440 00:35:13,595.3298333 --> 00:35:20,725.3308333 Like my roommate had just moved out and we had just quit our, we were working full times about to quit our full time corporate jobs and building our only fans. 441 00:35:21,125.3308333 --> 00:35:23,565.3308333 Like we didn't even have time for ourselves at this point. 442 00:35:23,565.4308333 --> 00:35:24,132.8308333 Yeah. 443 00:35:24,282.9308333 --> 00:35:56,62.9308333 And that was really hard because this this human is such a special human and having this person in our life was such a beautiful thing But being faced with this fact of I don't have time to even take a bath right now Let alone go on another date was really really hard And I think that is a really big thing with polyamory is polyamory is truly having this as much capacity as you can in your life at this time to be able to love as much as you can and have these different relationships and having these different dynamics of, of dating or different marriages. 444 00:35:56,72.9308333 --> 00:35:58,472.9308333 Like we know somebody who's got like four wives. 445 00:35:58,952.9308333 --> 00:36:00,572.9308333 I have like two girlfriends right now. 446 00:36:01,272.9308333 --> 00:36:05,32.9298333 So, yeah, so it has been really, really fun. 447 00:36:05,282.9298333 --> 00:36:09,532.9298333 But for the longest time we were after that strictly just ethically non monogamous. 448 00:36:10,157.9308333 --> 00:36:13,867.9308333 But we always felt that we needed to have emotional connections with people. 449 00:36:14,187.9308333 --> 00:36:20,717.9308333 And I think that that was really, really hardened into us after a couple of those swaps that we had that were not very good for us. 450 00:36:21,247.9308333 --> 00:36:21,897.9298333 Yeah, yeah. 451 00:36:22,147.9308333 --> 00:36:30,381.3308333 But I think I mean, we, yeah, we broke up with this person and then, They actually are married now. 452 00:36:31,451.3308333 --> 00:36:32,601.3308333 Incredible human. 453 00:36:32,601.3308333 --> 00:36:32,941.3308333 Yeah. 454 00:36:32,941.3308333 --> 00:36:34,801.3308333 So they went in and found their partner. 455 00:36:34,821.3308333 --> 00:36:49,721.3318333 And but, but yeah, that was a, that was a a hard experience, but a good experience for us in just understanding, like, you know, making sure we have the capacity and what different level we can be with someone at, at any given time. 456 00:36:49,721.3318333 --> 00:36:59,541.3318333 So yeah, we, We had that experience and but but while we were talking to this person, we actually went and did our first swap. 457 00:36:59,711.3318333 --> 00:37:01,21.3318333 It was our first collab. 458 00:37:01,151.3318333 --> 00:37:02,67.0032619 It was our, it was our first collab. 459 00:37:02,67.0032619 --> 00:37:09,81.3318333 So what that means is that you're meeting up with other verified adult content creators to make content with them. 460 00:37:09,391.3308333 --> 00:37:26,896.3313333 So we we did collaborate with them and this was a very different experience because we literally flew in That night had our first swap the next day did a podcast our second swap and flew home There was not a lot of room for emotional connection. 461 00:37:26,896.3313333 --> 00:37:30,26.3318333 There was not a lot of room for Connection outside of work. 462 00:37:30,166.3318333 --> 00:37:36,346.3318333 Yeah, I mean we did the best that I think we could Digitally beforehand like we had group chats. 463 00:37:36,346.3318333 --> 00:37:38,186.3318333 We facetimed you suck at texting. 464 00:37:38,276.3318333 --> 00:38:01,396.3318333 I hate texting I want to go on a walk and talk to you Or talk to you on the phone But yeah, so we I think we did the best that we could But this was also like two new things for us to like it was our first collab It was our first swap like we filmed our very first swap Yeah And this is the first time we'd ever filmed with anybody else and our first time ever doing a foursome and that was a lot Of pressure for you. 465 00:38:01,486.3318333 --> 00:38:01,826.3318333 Mm hmm. 466 00:38:01,866.3318333 --> 00:38:19,656.3308333 Yeah, it was a ton of pressure and and It was definitely, yeah, it was something I was okay ish, like the first the first night, like, again, I didn't, I didn't orgasm, I didn't cum, there's a part of the video where, like, it's probably the last, like, 15 minutes, I'm just, like, laying on the end of the bed, just kind of watching. 467 00:38:19,666.3318333 --> 00:38:20,456.3318333 We're just chatting. 468 00:38:20,466.3308333 --> 00:38:25,556.3308333 Yeah, and we're just doing, you know, we're just hanging out, and I actually really like it though. 469 00:38:25,566.3308333 --> 00:38:39,256.3308333 I like I like that that happened because I like showing that It's okay to just be like, all right, we're we're good or I don't need to try to force this or you know, whatever my body Whatever's happening is happening and it's okay. 470 00:38:39,256.3308333 --> 00:38:42,866.3308333 And I don't know, I'm still a huge voyeur, so I'm just going to hang out and watch. 471 00:38:42,866.3308333 --> 00:38:48,36.3308333 And yeah, it was, it was a very interesting experience and I'm glad we got to share it. 472 00:38:48,326.3308333 --> 00:38:50,786.3308333 Because it was a true first experience. 473 00:38:50,786.3308333 --> 00:38:52,160.9220152 Like we, we did a lot of firsts. 474 00:38:52,160.9220152 --> 00:38:57,196.3308333 And I think it's really important for us to show, cause we've done this a couple of times now, that sometimes you don't get hard right away. 475 00:38:57,336.3308333 --> 00:38:57,676.3308333 No. 476 00:38:57,686.3308333 --> 00:38:59,556.3318333 Like one, it's a lot of pressure to be on camera. 477 00:39:00,36.3318333 --> 00:39:05,856.3318333 But two, to be in a new group dynamic with two other people where you need to feel safe, you need to feel connected. 478 00:39:06,186.3318333 --> 00:39:10,766.3318333 And it can be hard to do that when you're rushing into filming or even just filming in general. 479 00:39:11,226.3318333 --> 00:39:18,886.3308333 But I think it's really important to show that, like, it's okay to not get hard right away, to not just pull your pants down and have an erection. 480 00:39:18,976.3308333 --> 00:39:19,386.3308333 Yeah. 481 00:39:19,676.3318333 --> 00:39:19,966.3318333 Yeah. 482 00:39:20,96.3318333 --> 00:39:28,436.3318333 So, yeah, we did we had our first swap And yeah, that was like, that was a really fun experience. 483 00:39:28,696.3318333 --> 00:39:42,476.3318333 Because we got to see like both sides, like we had done an FFM, you know, we had had another female in, we had another male in, but, but combining that all together you know, we did like different spit roasts and, you know, just kind of let things flow too. 484 00:39:42,476.3318333 --> 00:39:57,176.3308333 That was another thing is we didn't really like, even though it was like work and being filmed, we weren't like, okay, we, have to do this position or that position or anything like, I do feel like there is less pressure with another couple because there is more, there's more people. 485 00:39:57,176.3318333 --> 00:40:03,146.3318333 Like you don't have to worry about the other person as much because their partner is taking care of them. 486 00:40:03,146.3318333 --> 00:40:12,166.3318333 And like, there seems to be almost a standard way to flow with swaps in a sense where like you start with your partner and then the girls are tickets and then it kind of just melt over. 487 00:40:12,166.3318333 --> 00:40:19,946.3318333 And obviously there's different variations of that, but that is, An easiest way to start, I think, is just start with your partner and move down. 488 00:40:19,946.3318333 --> 00:40:24,456.3318333 And then when you guys are ready, and I also think soft swaps are a really good place to start yet. 489 00:40:24,456.3318333 --> 00:40:26,6.3308333 We have not done a soft swap. 490 00:40:26,346.3318333 --> 00:40:27,136.3318333 Yeah, yeah. 491 00:40:27,136.3318333 --> 00:40:37,76.3318333 We have not done a soft swap, but I, I do think like, yeah, just having sex in the same room with another couple is, is a great way to not just have to dive in headfirst. 492 00:40:37,76.3318333 --> 00:40:38,696.3318333 If you're really not sure. 493 00:40:38,696.3318333 --> 00:40:49,31.3318333 I mean, we, you know, we decided to end our lease and move within like 12 hours, we dive in headfirst to everything we do. 494 00:40:49,301.3318333 --> 00:40:51,321.3318333 But yeah, again, this is just our way. 495 00:40:51,331.3318333 --> 00:40:57,61.3313333 Like all of these things we're talking about are our approach and it can be pretty all or nothing with us. 496 00:40:57,61.3313333 --> 00:41:01,71.3303333 So that's, but that's not to say that, like, I would love to do a soft swap. 497 00:41:01,271.3313333 --> 00:41:01,881.3303333 I'd love to do a soft swap. 498 00:41:01,911.3303333 --> 00:41:02,631.3303333 Yeah. 499 00:41:02,661.3313333 --> 00:41:22,761.3323333 Soft swaps would be, would be super hot and super fun to just, you know, again, just do that in a little less of a degree, you know, without having to worry about, you know, Some of the things that you're unsure of, because that's, you know, even though you talk about these scenarios, if you're really not sure, then don't do them, you know, start smaller. 500 00:41:23,671.3323333 --> 00:41:29,981.3313333 So, yeah, but we did, we did two swaps and yeah, the second night was a lot easier for me. 501 00:41:30,321.3323333 --> 00:41:32,641.3323333 Because, you know, again, it's just that initial space. 502 00:41:32,651.3323333 --> 00:41:36,321.3323333 It's that, you know, that unknown of a new person. 503 00:41:36,641.3323333 --> 00:41:40,101.3323333 But yeah, they were, they were really, you can watch them there. 504 00:41:40,401.3323333 --> 00:41:41,511.3323333 They're still out there. 505 00:41:41,511.3323333 --> 00:41:43,91.3313333 And yeah, it's, it's, I don't know. 506 00:41:43,91.3313333 --> 00:41:49,61.3313333 I, it's one of the really unique things that we get about this is like, well, there are so many firsts that we have on camera. 507 00:41:49,681.3313333 --> 00:42:00,841.3313333 Yeah, which sounds crazy to a lot of people, but like we get to show you and even rewatch how to do this stuff from like the beginning to the end, some of the awkward moments, how to communicate through it. 508 00:42:00,841.3313333 --> 00:42:05,811.3303333 Like it truly is a very first amateur experience into this stuff. 509 00:42:05,941.3303333 --> 00:42:06,291.3303333 Yeah. 510 00:42:06,321.3313333 --> 00:42:13,111.3313333 So one of the things I I wanted to ask you, like with our first FFM, how did you. 511 00:42:13,756.3313333 --> 00:42:30,466.3313333 How did you feel when you first started seeing me with someone else? Like, what was that like to see me, like, kiss someone, be intimate, like, do the things to someone else that I do to you, you know, all the way up to actually, like, penetrating them? Like, what was that experience like for you? I'm trying to remember. 512 00:42:30,736.3323333 --> 00:42:42,676.3323333 Because I, I do remember being next to you guys the first threesome that we had and watching her on top of you and there was this part of me that was like, we could get jealous about this. 513 00:42:42,796.3323333 --> 00:42:49,226.3323333 Like there, there was this like witness in me just watching this little shadow part of me trying to say, stop this. 514 00:42:49,576.3323333 --> 00:42:52,976.3323333 And then I realized that I was like, I'm in a very safe container. 515 00:42:52,976.3323333 --> 00:42:54,886.3323333 This is something that we're doing together. 516 00:42:55,156.3323333 --> 00:42:59,216.3323333 And then that's when I like joined in to also like make her feel good. 517 00:42:59,226.3323333 --> 00:43:06,521.2323333 And so I think there was a part of me that wanted to get jealous because that's what I was trained to do in this world of. 518 00:43:06,651.3323333 --> 00:43:11,151.3323333 My partner's with another person and that's my partner, but we are not possessive people. 519 00:43:11,711.3323333 --> 00:43:19,821.3323333 And so if anything, like I got excited after the fact but yeah, there was a little bit of jealousy that that came up, of course. 520 00:43:20,561.3333333 --> 00:44:14,881.3333333 So, and I think that it's a really, easy segue into jealousy because this is a really common question we get is how do you navigate jealousy or how do you not get jealous and we everybody gets jealous this is an emotion that is ingrained in us but we have been taught one to give this this emotion way too much power jealousy does not need to have this much power and two like If you listen to what jealousy is trying to tell you, it's trying to tell you a part of yourself that you can give a little bit more attention to, an insecurity that you have that maybe needs a little bit more focus, and instead of relying on your partner to never make you feel jealous, because that's an outrageous thought, asking yourself, what can you do to feel a little bit more secure in this situation? Because we've talked about it, that there's, unless there's a magical dynamic that I haven't thought of, but there's no dynamic or group play that you could do that could make me jealous. 521 00:44:14,881.3343333 --> 00:44:24,931.3343333 Like, even if you looked into somebody's eyes while you were having sex with her and you said, I love you, like, that would not, that wouldn't Threaten me in any way because I know how secure we are. 522 00:44:24,961.3343333 --> 00:44:33,701.3343333 And so I think that that's one of the most important things when it comes to group play is the security that you have with your partner and the foundation before you ever bring somebody else into it. 523 00:44:34,191.3333333 --> 00:44:43,111.3333333 Yeah, I was just gonna say like anytime I have felt any sort of jealousy, I always go back to the security that I have with you. 524 00:44:43,351.3333333 --> 00:44:49,531.3343333 And to date, I have not experienced a level of jealousy that is able to overcome that. 525 00:44:50,66.3343333 --> 00:44:53,576.3343333 Like, I know that no matter what happens, we are together. 526 00:44:53,926.3343333 --> 00:45:03,826.3333333 And any sort of experience that you have, even when someone can make you feel better than I could, we are still, that is the core. 527 00:45:04,66.3343333 --> 00:45:07,962.967 Well, I don't know if it's better than I could, but it just feels good in the moment, kind of thing. 528 00:45:07,962.967 --> 00:45:09,646.3333333 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fair, yeah. 529 00:45:09,656.3343333 --> 00:45:20,676.3333333 I had one experience where, I was recording you doing a threesome and that was, I would say, the most, I don't even want to call it jealous because I wasn't jealous of the actual act. 530 00:45:20,686.3333333 --> 00:45:22,496.3343333 I got really insecure. 531 00:45:22,986.3343333 --> 00:45:29,456.3333333 And so that was something that I had to lean into afterwards was the insecurity of this person's better at this than I am. 532 00:45:29,936.3333333 --> 00:45:30,566.3333333 But. 533 00:45:31,141.3343333 --> 00:45:51,301.3343333 After that like I told you immediately how I was feeling and that was something I have to work through like that's something of Course you can validate me, but that's not what I need in that moment You just need time to realize that This insecurity is a part of myself a little shadow part of myself that I need to give some attention to So it does happen and it's going to happen You know But it's how you handle it. 534 00:45:51,301.3343333 --> 00:45:52,461.3343333 It's how you talk about it. 535 00:45:52,761.3343333 --> 00:46:01,291.3343333 And as the person who is being told, Hey, that made me feel really jealous, how you and your ego also handles that as well and not getting defensive towards your partner. 536 00:46:01,291.3343333 --> 00:46:04,441.3333333 Well, you wanted to do this kind of thing, so you shouldn't get jealous. 537 00:46:04,461.3343333 --> 00:46:09,141.3343333 Like, no, listen to your partner and truly listen without interrupting and hold that space. 538 00:46:09,411.3343333 --> 00:46:11,271.3343333 Cause sometimes there's not a solution for it. 539 00:46:11,401.3343333 --> 00:46:13,591.3343333 Sometimes it's just, I need to talk about this. 540 00:46:13,981.3343333 --> 00:46:17,986.3343333 And then, How do you want to move forward with that kind of thing? Yeah. 541 00:46:17,986.3343333 --> 00:46:18,256.3343333 Yeah. 542 00:46:18,256.3343333 --> 00:46:26,346.3343333 And I think there are some things like when it comes to jealousy, there are always times where your partner can, you know, give the validation, the reassurance. 543 00:46:26,596.3343333 --> 00:46:30,96.3333333 But I do think a lot of jealousy is, is up to you. 544 00:46:30,476.3343333 --> 00:46:48,416.3333333 And what you can tell yourself, you know, and, and how you can, you know, I wouldn't say self soothe, but, you know, talk to yourself about what's happening and really rely on yourself to explore that jealousy, to overcome it, to, you know, find that security with your partner within yourself. 545 00:46:48,416.3333333 --> 00:46:48,756.3333333 Yeah. 546 00:46:49,266.3333333 --> 00:46:54,746.3333333 And there's this idea that like jealousy is exclusive to like group play or open relationships. 547 00:46:55,146.3333333 --> 00:46:58,666.3333333 And I know so many people in monogamous relationships that still get jealous. 548 00:46:58,996.3333333 --> 00:47:04,506.3333333 Whether that is of your partner going out with your friend, or their friends, or spending too much time at work. 549 00:47:04,506.3333333 --> 00:47:11,926.3328333 Like there's so many different things that make us feel jealous that I think it is just listening to what do you need in this situation. 550 00:47:11,926.3328333 --> 00:47:21,396.3333333 Is it you're feeling like you're not getting enough attention? You're feeling like you're not getting enough love, validation, and, and asking your partner for that or finding that in yourself. 551 00:47:21,796.3333333 --> 00:47:38,681.3333333 Yeah, yeah, and I think I mean, I know we talked about compersion a little bit but like that is That is really what? I feel the most whenever we're in group scenarios and someone else is making you feel good is I'm just like fuck Yeah, like I love this so much for you. 552 00:47:38,681.3333333 --> 00:47:39,651.3333333 I love that. 553 00:47:39,761.3333333 --> 00:47:41,961.3333333 You're making someone feel good I love that. 554 00:47:41,971.3333333 --> 00:47:43,211.3333333 They're making you feel good. 555 00:47:43,241.3333333 --> 00:48:05,776.3333333 That makes me feel good You know what? I mean? I like I'm so happy and I'm so grateful that I get to That that gets to be shared I'm not gonna say I let you share that or that I get to share that you're not mine to share but like that I Get to be a part of that, you know that that You know, that is like, that's what I have all the time, you know, and like someone else getting that is incredible. 556 00:48:05,776.3333333 --> 00:48:13,706.3328333 And so like the amount of compersion I feel, you know, really like has just absolved almost all jealousy. 557 00:48:13,706.3328333 --> 00:48:23,926.3333333 Like I can't really think, I can't remember a time that I, that I have been jealous, you know, when it comes to, to group play or just any, any other scenario. 558 00:48:23,926.3333333 --> 00:48:31,911.3333333 I think the only times I get jealous is when I'm like feeling like, Left out of a certain situation, but it doesn't for me. 559 00:48:31,911.3333333 --> 00:48:32,891.3333333 It's not really sex. 560 00:48:32,891.3333333 --> 00:48:33,351.3333333 Oh, okay. 561 00:48:33,351.3333333 --> 00:48:34,101.3333333 So I have a question then. 562 00:48:34,101.3333333 --> 00:48:47,681.3333333 Yeah I'm with our next male coming to town and the potential of me playing with him solo Yeah, how does that feel? Does that feel like you'll be left out? I don't think so. 563 00:48:47,681.3333333 --> 00:48:48,321.3333333 Now. 564 00:48:48,481.3333333 --> 00:48:56,746.3328333 I think if it would have been a year or two ago, like early on in our relationship, I do think I would have yeah, I think there would have been some jealousy. 565 00:48:56,746.3328333 --> 00:49:13,331.3333333 Like, I do remember when we were trying to figure out messaging and interacting with, with people that were coming in to only fans or, you know, Instagram, just all of the attention that you were starting to get and how much attention you were giving out because you weren't sure what boundaries to set or how to navigate all this. 566 00:49:13,551.3323333 --> 00:49:17,371.3323333 There was some jealousy where I was like, you're talking to other people more than you're talking to me. 567 00:49:17,371.3333333 --> 00:49:19,691.3333333 Like, I don't feel like I'm getting, I was running a business. 568 00:49:19,771.3333333 --> 00:49:25,51.3333333 It's not trying to emotionally connect with people, it's just trying to figure out how to run this. 569 00:49:25,161.3333333 --> 00:49:25,551.3333333 Yeah. 570 00:49:25,551.3333333 --> 00:49:30,711.3333333 But yeah, I think, you know, part of that being, you know, still us developing that strong foundation. 571 00:49:30,941.3323333 --> 00:49:35,211.3323333 But yeah, with the potential of that, like I'm actually kind of excited for your experience. 572 00:49:35,211.3333333 --> 00:49:40,851.3333333 Like I, I, I think it's really cool that you've identified that that's what you really want. 573 00:49:41,251.3333333 --> 00:49:48,981.3333333 With with new people is to have that one on one time to be able to connect with them so yeah, I I want to say that i'm really excited right now. 574 00:49:48,981.3333333 --> 00:49:57,76.3333333 I don't know what will come up at the time But yeah, I think I, I don't have any, like, you know, I'm not jealous already. 575 00:49:58,426.3333333 --> 00:49:59,66.3333333 Yeah. 576 00:49:59,166.3333333 --> 00:49:59,526.3333333 Yeah. 577 00:49:59,536.3333333 --> 00:50:00,956.3333333 So no, that was a, that's a good question. 578 00:50:00,966.3333333 --> 00:50:01,126.3333333 Yeah. 579 00:50:01,166.3333333 --> 00:50:01,346.3333333 Yeah. 580 00:50:01,346.3333333 --> 00:50:03,306.3333333 And that is something new that's going to happen. 581 00:50:03,306.3333333 --> 00:50:04,536.3323333 That is, that is going to be a new thing. 582 00:50:05,886.3323333 --> 00:50:06,46.3323333 Yeah. 583 00:50:06,46.3333333 --> 00:50:18,476.3333333 What we're talking about is I have realized that sometimes with some of our collabs that we do or our male group experiences that I just haven't been able to connect with the males. 584 00:50:19,6.3333333 --> 00:50:36,653.0666667 At all, like if anything outside of our content creation time and while that's amazing and beautiful, like I didn't, I haven't been able to get the same experiences that I have been able to with our first MFM of like talking and not dating in a sense, but like, Going on a date getting one on one time. 585 00:50:36,663.0666667 --> 00:51:06,168.0666667 Yeah, like getting to know this person a little bit more Because I think it's really important when you share intimate space like I need to know what turns you on what turns you off Like what touch feels really good to you and sometimes in the moment is not always the best time to figure that out But maybe over dinner and drinks and just cuddling on the couch is yeah, just just having just having uninterrupted conversations Like, you know, we, you know, we're always hanging out in group settings and other partners are there or like, I want to talk to them too. 586 00:51:06,178.0666667 --> 00:51:12,688.0666667 You know, just having that time to just talk to each other exclusively and, and let the conversation flow. 587 00:51:12,688.0666667 --> 00:51:20,288.0666667 Like it can be sexual or non sexual, but just understanding how someone thinks more and, you know, what they like. 588 00:51:20,328.0666667 --> 00:51:21,828.0666667 I think that's really cool. 589 00:51:21,828.0666667 --> 00:51:25,68.0666667 And that is, that is, yeah, that's something, something new for us. 590 00:51:25,68.0666667 --> 00:51:46,83.0666667 So I think that's kind of the, where are we now? Section of our, of our conversation, which is we are, yeah, we are opening back up into like more polyamorous deeper connection, dating ish, if you will, we're still, I think figuring that out, but, but yeah, I really have like two other couples. 591 00:51:46,103.0666667 --> 00:51:51,783.0656667 Like we've got a total of like six of us in a group right now that we're trying to navigate, which is hard. 592 00:51:51,783.0666667 --> 00:51:53,93.0666667 And it feels scary at times. 593 00:51:53,93.0666667 --> 00:51:54,733.0666667 It's also incredibly exciting. 594 00:51:54,733.0666667 --> 00:52:02,493.0666667 And it's such a blessing to be able to have so much room for love and, and exploring with really mature, like emotionally mature people. 595 00:52:02,963.0666667 --> 00:52:06,883.0666667 But it is kind of scary to like, put your heart out there with so many different people. 596 00:52:07,388.0666667 --> 00:52:11,538.0666667 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it really is, but it's, I don't know, it's really cool. 597 00:52:11,538.0666667 --> 00:52:14,68.0666667 It's, I like the scary things. 598 00:52:14,68.1666667 --> 00:52:21,188.0666667 I like the scary things if I have a safe foundation, because I had a very scary life. 599 00:52:21,478.0666667 --> 00:52:25,318.0656667 So there's parts of me that just want to run from the scary things, because that's easier for me. 600 00:52:25,848.0656667 --> 00:52:30,328.0666667 But if I have you as a foundation, I can do the scarier things. 601 00:52:30,383.1666667 --> 00:52:40,553.0666667 I love you baby, but if I don't have you, I don't, I don't necessarily need to just run headfirst into emotional heartache again. 602 00:52:40,923.0666667 --> 00:53:08,443.0666667 Yeah, so yeah, and I I'm excited for this like I am I am truly excited to live like we're moving to the Pacific Northwest to be closer to like Piper and Ben we're gonna be 15 minutes from them And that's really exciting from like a best friend sister level to a really deep Girlfriend emotional level like going on dates with her and even going on dates with Ben and you going on dates with Piper I think that that's really exciting That's an exciting thing. 603 00:53:08,443.0666667 --> 00:53:09,13.0666667 It's new. 604 00:53:09,13.0666667 --> 00:53:09,823.0666667 It's scary. 605 00:53:10,83.0666667 --> 00:53:23,883.0661667 We'll be an hour and a half away from Tabby Noni and being able to like connect with them because the really amazing thing about them is their relationship is really similar to ours in the sense of the power dynamic that they have and, and the kinks that they like to explore. 606 00:53:23,883.0661667 --> 00:53:28,703.0666667 So it's really cool to have like a, a mirrored couple in our life. 607 00:53:29,223.0666667 --> 00:53:30,483.0666667 Yeah, it's gonna be really cool. 608 00:53:30,483.0666667 --> 00:53:32,303.0666667 And yeah, we there's lots of unknowns. 609 00:53:32,313.0666667 --> 00:53:46,973.0666667 This is new space for us and yeah, we're we're gonna figure it out and we're gonna take all of the experiences that we've had and Apply as much of it as we can to to what's coming, but there's still a lot of unknowns and we're figuring them out We're doing it together. 610 00:53:47,493.0666667 --> 00:54:01,788.0666667 Yeah, we're doing it together All right so we want to wrap it up with just some overall advice and You know for people looking to open up their relationship potentially explore a career score, explore group play, bring other partners in. 611 00:54:01,798.0666667 --> 00:54:07,188.0666667 Like what are, what are some of the top tips from the last 40 minutes of blah, blah, blah. 612 00:54:07,558.0666667 --> 00:54:10,338.0666667 One thing I do want to recommend is that at sunny and sky. 613 00:54:10,338.0666667 --> 00:54:18,378.0666667 com we do have blogs that we have actually written that talk about how to bring up a partner, like how to bring up a threesome with your partner, how to communicate about sex with your partner. 614 00:54:18,578.0666667 --> 00:54:31,208.0666667 That really break this down because I think the first and the most important thing when it comes to bringing up a partner, Opening your relationship is where is your current dialogue around sex? Where is your current dialogue together? Period. 615 00:54:31,268.0666667 --> 00:54:41,78.0666667 I have so many people that'll come to me and ask like, how do I get my partner to have sex with me more? And when I ask them, well, how is your partner? How is your partner sex life with themselves? They can't answer that question. 616 00:54:41,88.0656667 --> 00:54:49,348.0666667 So this is, you do truly need to be involved in each other's lives to be able to do something as scary as bringing in other people into your relationship. 617 00:54:49,718.0666667 --> 00:54:51,398.0656667 And I think you need to do it for the right reasons. 618 00:54:51,398.0656667 --> 00:55:09,288.0656667 And so really sitting down, And asking yourself before bringing this up to your partner, because your partner is going to ask you, why do you want to do this? Ask yourself, why do I want to do this? And if it's the wrong answers, and I do think there are a couple, whether you agree or not, I think one of the wrong answers is that I want to spice up our relationship. 619 00:55:09,588.0676667 --> 00:55:15,918.0656667 Bringing in another person to spice up your relationship, that is not going to feel very good to your current partner. 620 00:55:16,158.0656667 --> 00:55:22,438.0656667 Yeah, it has basically the underlying messages is our current. 621 00:55:22,818.0666667 --> 00:56:05,38.0328333 Situation is not exciting or I'm not fulfilled by it and that's what's going to be Heard and that might be the truth but I don't think that this is in my mind bringing in a third person to a relationship that's kind of Doesn't have a strong foundation is like having a baby to save your marriage like it's It's not the best reason and so I think really focus on that foundation reconnect with each other's sexualities your sensuality Getting to know your partner on different levels and just seeing how they're doing is a really really important thing But I think people need to have a threesome because they want to experience other people together They want to share their love with other people. 622 00:56:05,38.0328333 --> 00:56:18,583.0333333 They want to see how much love they can possibly have in a relationship they want to take care of other people the way that they're taking care of each other in that sense like group play truly is You hard. 623 00:56:18,743.0333333 --> 00:56:19,963.0333333 It takes a lot of work. 624 00:56:20,153.0333333 --> 00:56:22,753.0333333 This is one of my favorite resources is the ethical slut. 625 00:56:22,773.0333333 --> 00:56:27,963.0333333 It talks about how to meet people, how to navigate jealousy, how to navigate conflict, cause you're going to have them. 626 00:56:28,813.0333333 --> 00:56:36,333.0333333 And then also how to make sure you're getting tested for STDs and STIs, because when you bring other people into your relationship, you can't assume that people are clean. 627 00:56:36,333.0333333 --> 00:56:37,953.0323333 We're all sexually active adults. 628 00:56:38,283.0323333 --> 00:56:40,13.0323333 Not everybody is actively testing. 629 00:56:40,13.0323333 --> 00:56:49,558.0333333 So keep yourself, keep your partner clean, but Ask yourself why you want to have a threesome, ask your partner what they're worried about, and honor their yeses and their no's. 630 00:56:49,608.0333333 --> 00:56:54,628.0333333 If your partner is really, really worried about jealousy, ask them what they feel jealous about. 631 00:56:54,628.0333333 --> 00:56:56,438.0333333 Like, really work on that together. 632 00:56:56,648.0333333 --> 00:56:58,438.0333333 Talk about dirty talk, role playing. 633 00:56:58,438.0333333 --> 00:57:03,858.0323333 You don't have to just bring somebody else in right away to be able to have this fantasy fulfilled. 634 00:57:03,958.0323333 --> 00:57:06,678.0333333 Yeah, I was going to say, like, go at your own pace. 635 00:57:07,428.0333333 --> 00:57:24,333.0333333 Like, that, that is, I think what you, you know, you were going about is like, do the work that you need to in your own relationship first, do the education that you need to, and then once you feel like you are potentially ready, like, don't feel like you need to just jump right into the bedroom. 636 00:57:24,453.0333333 --> 00:57:31,993.0333333 Like, go, go at the pace that feels good for you, for your relationship, for the other person, that you're bringing in. 637 00:57:32,3.0333333 --> 00:57:34,663.0333333 So I would say that is that is a really important thing. 638 00:57:34,663.0333333 --> 00:57:37,73.0323333 It's like, you know, don't put a timeline on this. 639 00:57:37,73.0333333 --> 00:57:38,483.0323333 Don't put expectations on it. 640 00:57:38,483.0333333 --> 00:57:41,878.0333333 Just Be along for the ride and for the experience. 641 00:57:41,938.0333333 --> 00:57:46,218.0333333 Yeah, talk about boundaries, talk about limits, and honor those boundaries and those limits. 642 00:57:46,218.0333333 --> 00:57:49,518.0333333 If your partner doesn't feel safe with somebody, listen to that. 643 00:57:49,618.0323333 --> 00:57:52,488.0333333 That is a really, really big thing that your partner's trying to tell you. 644 00:57:53,28.0323333 --> 00:57:54,58.0333333 This feels scary. 645 00:57:54,78.0333333 --> 00:57:55,858.0333333 It's a hard conversation to have. 646 00:57:56,128.0333333 --> 00:58:01,228.0323333 And if you have an experience, and let's say that didn't go great, listen to that as well. 647 00:58:01,228.0323333 --> 00:58:02,998.0333333 It might not be for everybody. 648 00:58:03,518.0333333 --> 00:58:05,168.0333333 So, yeah, yeah. 649 00:58:06,238.0333333 --> 00:58:06,808.0333333 But have fun with it. 650 00:58:07,358.0333333 --> 00:58:07,698.0333333 Yeah. 651 00:58:07,698.0333333 --> 00:58:07,938.0333333 Yeah. 652 00:58:07,938.0333333 --> 00:58:08,538.0333333 It should be fun. 653 00:58:08,538.1333333 --> 00:58:09,178.0333333 It should be. 654 00:58:09,178.0333333 --> 00:58:10,728.0333333 It should be absolutely fun. 655 00:58:10,728.0333333 --> 00:58:11,718.0333333 It should be super fun. 656 00:58:11,718.0333333 --> 00:58:13,428.0333333 There should be high fives along the way. 657 00:58:13,668.0333333 --> 00:58:13,758.0333333 Yeah. 658 00:58:14,448.0333333 --> 00:58:14,938.0333333 Well, cool. 659 00:58:14,988.0333333 --> 00:58:16,908.0333333 Yeah, I think we, I think we did it. 660 00:58:16,918.0333333 --> 00:58:32,148.0333333 So thank you for being patient as we figured everything out that we've been up to over the past like month and a half in between episodes, we're going to really try to be regular about this, but as you can see, it's just, we're moving and we're busy people. 661 00:58:32,148.0333333 --> 00:58:36,998.0333333 So we really appreciate everyone that came back for episode three after the gap. 662 00:58:37,218.0333333 --> 00:58:48,508.0323333 Yeah, and as always we, we only talk specifically on our OnlyFans but if you have any questions you want to connect about any of this, you have any stories that you want to share, you just want kinky friends in your life who know where to find us. 663 00:58:48,508.0333333 --> 00:58:56,308.0333333 So thank you as always for tuning in, for being here, and we can't wait to see you next time, whenever that is. 664 00:58:56,878.0333333 --> 00:58:58,108.0333333 I hope you guys always stay kinky. 665 00:58:58,218.0333333 --> 00:58:59,208.0333333 Yeah, be safe out there. 666 00:58:59,248.0333333 --> 00:58:59,933.1353741 Love you lots.

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