Our power dynamic and sexuality

In this episode we share our personal experience with being in an open relationship, how we engage in ethical group play and provide tips for anyone interested in this lifestyle.

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Hi Kinky friends, I'm Skye.
And I'm Sunny.
That's Nuggles, and that's Maya, and this is the Aftercare Podcast.
Where we normalize conversations around kink, love, and all things in between.
And welcome to Episode 2.
I just want to say thank you to anybody who tuned into Episode 1, and is joining us for the fun of Episode 2 that we have in store.

(00:25):
.999We're going to briefly talk about what we've been up to in the last week, our power dynamic and how it's evolved over the two years of us being together.
What daddy and mommy means to us, which is a really cool conversation, a resource called the BDSM role test that we want to share with you for exploring power play in your own dynamic and then our own sexuality journey through our two years together.

(00:46):
And then to conclude, we want to talk about just how to talk to your partner about sex because that is an incredibly common, common question that we get from you guys.
And it's the.
basis of all of the kink and everything that you see here is the communication that we have.
So without further ado, I will have Sunny introduce us to what we've been up to.

(01:07):
.9995Yeah. 14 00:01:08,14.9995 --> 00:01:11,774.999 So it's been about 10 days since our last podcast.
.9And right when we recorded that, we were about to go to Joshua Tree for an interview.
a friend's birthday.
So we did that.
We were in Joshua Tree for four or five days and it was for Ben's birthday from Piper and Ben and Tabby and No Name also joined us and we really just kind of like hung out like it was a bunch of creators but we Actually didn't collab or anything like that.

(01:39):
We did, we did a little bit of work, but mostly it was just to celebrate Ben and his birth, the birth of Ben, the birth of Ben.
.0005And it was just so, so nice. 21 00:01:50,605.0005 --> 00:01:52,64.901 Like we had a. 22 00:01:52,375.001 --> 00:01:55,225.001 Hung out with Piper and Ben back in March. 23 00:01:55,265.001 --> 00:01:58,315.001 We spent a few days with them, really getting to know them. 24 00:01:58,315.001 --> 00:02:01,95.001 We went to a concert, just really deep in that friendship. 25 00:02:01,405.001 --> 00:02:07,75.002 And then Tabby and No Name were rolling through the state like a couple of weeks ago, actually. 26 00:02:07,75.002 --> 00:02:08,315.0015 So we had dinner with them. 27 00:02:08,315.0015 --> 00:02:10,585.001 We had Known about them for so long. 28 00:02:10,745.001 --> 00:02:17,735.001 Oh, we had a crush on them for so long If you don't know Tabby and No Name, they have a love that's very similar to ours a dynamic. 29 00:02:17,735.001 --> 00:02:37,895.001 That's very it's so gross but it's so disgustingly yummy and delicious and their dynamic is very similar to ours and Their genre of pegging is also like identical to ours in the intimate fun sensual Doming so it was kind of like looking in a mirror of these two beautiful yogis Yes. 30 00:02:37,915.001 --> 00:02:38,325.001 Yeah. 31 00:02:38,335.001 --> 00:02:47,105 So they came out as well and it was just a really nice way to get to know everybody and have fun.

(02:47):
.0005And yeah, we, I mean, we didn't collab in the sense a lot of people, you know, saw pictures and stuff and they were like, Oh my gosh, like this is a dream. 33 00:02:54,795.0005 --> 00:02:57,745.001 Where's the, where's the video? And we didn't, we didn't do that just yet. 34 00:02:57,775.001 --> 00:02:59,375.001 You know, we, we really wanted. 35 00:02:59,495.001 --> 00:03:05,305.001 to take the time to just cuddle and, and play and have, have fun. 36 00:03:05,305.001 --> 00:03:07,365.001 And that's exactly what we did. 37 00:03:07,735.001 --> 00:03:11,775.001 And it was just, it was just a really, really good week and we had a lot of fun. 38 00:03:11,775.001 --> 00:03:14,45.001 Just a bunch of silly gooses being goosy sillies. 39 00:03:14,105.001 --> 00:03:14,815.002 Yeah, yeah. 40 00:03:14,815.002 --> 00:03:15,535.002 But we did. 41 00:03:15,700.002 --> 00:03:18,30.002 Take pictures and, and, and stuff like that. 42 00:03:18,30.002 --> 00:03:19,280.002 And made some reels, which is really cool. 43 00:03:19,280.002 --> 00:03:29,400.001 Like it is fun to be able to, to truly make friends and plan out like long term content, which is, you're going to see a lot of them because we're kind of obsessed with these people. 44 00:03:29,400.001 --> 00:03:38,340.002 And, and I don't know, it's, it's really cool to have a community and a support system, even if that means, especially if that means we're not collaborating and making like a sex tape with them the first time. 45 00:03:38,340.002 --> 00:03:52,115.002 We, we have learned over our year of collaborating with people that we We do truly, truly want good friendships and we want long lasting friendships and we are demisexuals so we need that connection and we need that safety. 46 00:03:52,545.001 --> 00:03:56,105.002 So yeah, if we take pictures of somebody it does not mean that I touch their butt. 47 00:03:57,225.002 --> 00:03:58,725.002 No, it definitely doesn't. 48 00:03:58,765.001 --> 00:04:00,394.902 So yeah, we, we got pictures. 49 00:04:00,635.002 --> 00:04:05,595.002 Back from that last Friday and then we just kind of settled in at home. 50 00:04:05,595.002 --> 00:04:09,315.002 It's still been a little springy and cold and windy and weird in Colorado. 51 00:04:09,315.102 --> 00:04:11,95.001 It's freezing here compared to the desert. 52 00:04:11,135.002 --> 00:04:11,795.002 Yeah. 53 00:04:11,855.002 --> 00:04:12,895.002 So yeah. 54 00:04:12,895.002 --> 00:04:15,685.001 And now we are here at episode two. 55 00:04:16,930.002 --> 00:04:18,90.002 So, excited. 56 00:04:18,450.002 --> 00:04:18,760.002 Yeah. 57 00:04:19,100.002 --> 00:04:25,860.002 So you want to talk about our power dynamic, how it started and how, you know, it's kind of evolved? I do. 58 00:04:26,110.002 --> 00:04:26,430.002 I do. 59 00:04:26,430.002 --> 00:04:32,800.002 And this is a super, super complex thing for us because this was something that we learned from the ground up together. 60 00:04:33,140.002 --> 00:04:36,320.002 Sunny and I, we did not really know what power dynamics were. 61 00:04:36,380.002 --> 00:04:41,860.001 We did not know what BDSM stood for, let alone that the D was dominant and one of the S's is submission. 62 00:04:41,860.002 --> 00:04:48,90.102 And we And we really started to naturally explore that, which I think is a really, really wonderful thing. 63 00:04:48,340.102 --> 00:04:56,360.102 I was dead set on never calling anybody daddy as somebody who truly has daddy issues and never had a positive male figure in my life. 64 00:04:56,360.102 --> 00:04:57,750.101 I was a dominant woman. 65 00:04:57,750.102 --> 00:04:59,390.002 I, I didn't need. 66 00:05:00,160.102 --> 00:05:04,150.102 A man in the sense to, to control me is kind of what I thought that was. 67 00:05:04,150.102 --> 00:05:15,800.1015 And the experience I did have with somebody who identified as a hard dom was a very controlling and abusive and honestly, very scary relationship for me and one that I didn't ever want to have again. 68 00:05:15,800.1015 --> 00:05:20,180.102 And so I, I did not think that I was ever going to be a submissive woman. 69 00:05:20,240.102 --> 00:05:28,60.101 In my past relationships, we were very vanilla, but I also was not safe enough to be submissive or let somebody control it. 70 00:05:28,535.102 --> 00:05:31,605.102 But I don't ever even remember having conversations around power. 71 00:05:31,815.102 --> 00:05:37,615.102 I truly don't know if there's a lot of people that understand that that is a thing and it's an incredibly beautiful thing. 72 00:05:37,615.102 --> 00:05:40,555.101 And it's a sacred thing that you have to build with your partner. 73 00:05:40,555.102 --> 00:05:46,690.102 Like, just because you feel like you're a dominant guy doesn't mean that a woman is just going to be submissive, like, No, no. 74 00:05:46,690.102 --> 00:05:59,30.102 And I think, you know, like we, we started from the ground up, but we very quickly just like fell into, you know, you fell into a submissive role and then I fell into a dominant role. 75 00:05:59,230.102 --> 00:06:04,590.102 And I think really why that was is because for like the first time ever, we both felt safe. 76 00:06:04,650.102 --> 00:06:18,645.102 Like, you know, I, I knew that that's something I kind of shied away from in my past relationships of being, you know, too, I had the same associations that it was, you know, somewhat abusive, controlling. 77 00:06:18,645.102 --> 00:06:26,335.102 And that's something like that was actually used against me in past relationships was that, you know, you're too controlling. 78 00:06:26,345.101 --> 00:06:32,65.101 And then that's the last thing I would ever want to do is feel like I'm controlling intimacy in that space. 79 00:06:32,105.101 --> 00:06:56,565.101 And I think the big thing that we talked about, cause we had this conversation about this fear around you feeling like you were controlling in any way is that, In my opinion, to be controlling admits that somebody has more power than another person, right? If you're controlling me, then I'm saying that I don't have power in this situation when truly you and I acknowledge that we're both equals, we hold equal power, that we're a true partnership. 80 00:06:56,845.101 --> 00:06:59,485.101 So our dynamic is mostly in the bedroom. 81 00:06:59,545.101 --> 00:07:05,545.101 We do play outside of the bedroom a little bit with daddy and little girl and such, but outside of the bedroom, like we have. 82 00:07:05,560.101 --> 00:07:07,350.101 Full power in this relationship. 83 00:07:07,600.101 --> 00:07:24,560.1 And we understand, I think the power that goes into also giving my dominant power up to be more of a submissive person and sunny, really holding that power with a gift and with true care, taking care of me in that space. 84 00:07:24,840.1 --> 00:07:25,920.1 And you had to work for it. 85 00:07:25,930.1 --> 00:07:27,970.1 Like you, you've listened to my body. 86 00:07:27,970.1 --> 00:07:28,980.1 You know what I like. 87 00:07:29,200.1 --> 00:07:30,970.1 Sometimes, you know what I like better than what I do. 88 00:07:31,0.1 --> 00:07:33,790.1 You care for me better than I care for me sometimes. 89 00:07:34,530.1 --> 00:07:37,440.1 But it wasn't something that like we just woke up one day and we started to do. 90 00:07:37,450.1 --> 00:07:38,650.1 We really had to learn. 91 00:07:38,650.1 --> 00:07:43,350.1 And there were some times where I don't know, you wanted me to drink water and I'll like hiss at you. 92 00:07:44,120.1 --> 00:07:48,90.1 And but I also know that it comes from a true and a really good intention. 93 00:07:48,380.1 --> 00:07:54,10.1 But I think that there is something really, really incredible about a subspace with you that I. 94 00:07:54,540.1 --> 00:08:04,260.1 I cherish very much and I think that I have fallen into a subspace with you, a very deep subspace with you, now a handful of times, and you do a very good job with that. 95 00:08:04,520.1 --> 00:08:04,800.1 Thank you. 96 00:08:04,810.1 --> 00:08:22,90.1 Like caring for me and leading for me and topping, but also checking in and your aftercare is so incredible that I know that when I'm entering like an impact scene with you or I'm entering like a really rough almost CNC scene with you that I am cared for and that no matter what, like. 97 00:08:22,785.1 --> 00:08:28,555.1 You, you love me and you respect me, and if for any reason I, I pull consent away, you stop. 98 00:08:28,645.1 --> 00:08:29,155.1 Mm hmm. 99 00:08:29,165.1 --> 00:08:30,225.1 Yeah, there's never shame. 100 00:08:30,225.1 --> 00:08:31,815.099 There's never guilt. 101 00:08:31,825.099 --> 00:08:32,975.1 There's never pressure. 102 00:08:32,975.1 --> 00:08:38,295.1 And so I think that that has allowed me to really step into that submissive power because I know I'm safe. 103 00:08:38,605.1 --> 00:08:39,85.1 Yeah. 104 00:08:39,175.1 --> 00:08:39,455.1 Yeah. 105 00:08:39,455.101 --> 00:08:39,785.101 Yeah. 106 00:08:39,945.1 --> 00:08:42,215.1 Yeah, no, you are incredibly safe. 107 00:08:42,215.1 --> 00:08:50,675.1 And I think one of the things, it was really interesting because we did both fall into these roles naturally because of that safety we felt. 108 00:08:50,675.1 --> 00:08:55,865.1 But we also started learning so much about BDSM and power dynamics. 109 00:08:55,865.1 --> 00:09:03,205.1 Like I think one of the biggest, biggest misconceptions is that the, the sub is powerless and really like. 110 00:09:03,655.1 --> 00:09:07,925.1 If you have a good dynamic, the sub is actually kind of in control. 111 00:09:08,545.1 --> 00:09:18,485.1 Like, you know, you, you are equal, but like the, the sub is still dictating kind of what happens that a good Dom makes sure of that. 112 00:09:18,555.1 --> 00:09:20,235.1 You do not have a Dom without a sub. 113 00:09:20,565.1 --> 00:09:20,925.0995 No. 114 00:09:20,925.0995 --> 00:09:25,165.1 And a lot of people don't realize that is that the sub at any point pulls that power. 115 00:09:25,465.1 --> 00:09:26,45.1 You're done. 116 00:09:26,255.1 --> 00:09:26,665.1 Mm hmm. 117 00:09:26,685.1 --> 00:09:27,705.1 And like, vice versa. 118 00:09:28,185.1 --> 00:09:38,855.1 Everybody in a role in a dynamic has power to pull consent for any reason but yeah, there is this conception that once a sub is in a scene, that they're stuck in that scene and that is absolutely not okay. 119 00:09:38,855.1 --> 00:09:39,685.1 Like, that is abuse. 120 00:09:39,915.099 --> 00:09:40,495.099 No, no. 121 00:09:40,495.099 --> 00:10:04,305.1 It is like, and like, I think part of Why I was able to step into it is that like my my love language is acts of service like I Identified, you know after some time that I am a pleasure Dom like my my role that I give myself in that space is to Make my sub feel as good as possible. 122 00:10:04,345.1 --> 00:10:25,600 Give them what? They need and as much of it as they would like and maybe and maybe push that a little bit, but ultimately, like, I think that is, that is something I didn't really realize about that either is, you know, there is the conception that there is like hard strict, you know, I'm just going to, you are at my will, you know, and. 123 00:10:25,640.1 --> 00:10:27,440.1 And that's absolutely not the case. 124 00:10:27,440.1 --> 00:10:42,900.1 And that was really cool to start to understand as we, we educated ourselves, you know, we, we are obviously practicing this, but we are also learning, you know, along the way through other resources, not only our experiences, but just learning. 125 00:10:43,305.1 --> 00:10:46,585 Reading like, you know, we have so many books on this. 126 00:10:46,585.1 --> 00:10:48,675.1 Yeah, we have really good mentors on this. 127 00:10:48,695.1 --> 00:10:53,845.1 And I think something that's really powerful about like what Sunny said is you get to make what your own dom. 128 00:10:54,245.1 --> 00:10:59,205.0995 Like you get to to make that out of the archetypes that you love and and are really true to you. 129 00:10:59,205.0995 --> 00:11:02,835.1 And there's a lot of old school kinksters that are like, no, this is what it is. 130 00:11:03,145.1 --> 00:11:05,145.1 And that might not fit for you and your dynamics. 131 00:11:05,155.1 --> 00:11:10,425.1 So you and your partner get to choose the the dynamic that you're in and what that looks like. 132 00:11:10,715.1 --> 00:11:28,25.1 So I want to ask like do you Because I've seen you also dom other women, which is an incredible thing and I think it's really cute because there are some people that think you're like this cute little puppy dog, which you are, but you can pull this like super, super pleasure dom daddy just out of you out of nowhere and make somebody melt. 133 00:11:28,275.1 --> 00:12:02,725.101 Like, are there like, I don't know, archetypes or characters or feelings that you pull or Have inspiration when you are into that or is there a way that you can step into that kind of thing? Yeah, I Have thought about this and I think I do think the biggest one is just like the caregiver like ultimately like that is That is just what comes through is like It is me and you and I'm here to care for you in whatever way that is i'm gonna correct you if you know, you start to get bratty like you do. 134 00:12:02,925.1 --> 00:12:05,685.1 It's a daddy Yeah, that's still caregiver role. 135 00:12:05,685.101 --> 00:12:06,495.101 It's still a daddy. 136 00:12:06,495.101 --> 00:12:21,220.101 But yeah, I would I would say that like that is my most prominent Thing that comes out especially with new people too, you know, I can I can move into you know Some harder stuff once I get more comfortable once I learn but yeah, I would say my main archetype. 137 00:12:21,230.101 --> 00:12:33,980.101 Is this just like daddy caregiver like i'm here for you whatever you want and that's like again, that's why I touched on like the sub actually has the power because ultimately like I'm doing exactly what you want. 138 00:12:34,50.101 --> 00:12:35,290.101 I'm doing it in a certain way. 139 00:12:35,300.101 --> 00:12:36,110.101 I know what you want. 140 00:12:36,120.101 --> 00:12:37,650.101 I'm doing the things you like. 141 00:12:37,690.101 --> 00:12:38,950.101 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 142 00:12:39,160.101 --> 00:12:40,850.101 I'm gonna make you remember your manners. 143 00:12:40,900.101 --> 00:12:42,120.101 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 144 00:12:42,380.101 --> 00:12:43,690.101 I do like doing that too. 145 00:12:43,700.101 --> 00:12:47,565.001 I wouldn't say disciplinarian is a bad thing. 146 00:12:47,565.101 --> 00:12:52,325.101 big archetype, but like, if you start pushing that'll just like shoot to the top, like that comes out. 147 00:12:52,505.101 --> 00:12:54,155.101 You're really good at getting that out of me. 148 00:12:54,195.101 --> 00:12:57,525.101 I know sometimes I'll say thank you and you'll still smack me and I'm like, I don't know what to do. 149 00:12:57,535.1 --> 00:13:05,845.102 Yeah, I can, I can, I can, yeah, I, I definitely can mix in I don't know if it's like chokester or something like that, but you know that. 150 00:13:05,845.102 --> 00:13:06,745.102 It is a mental fuck. 151 00:13:06,745.102 --> 00:13:07,595.102 I don't know what it is. 152 00:13:07,605.102 --> 00:13:08,35.102 Yeah. 153 00:13:08,35.102 --> 00:13:08,435.102 And like. 154 00:13:08,695.102 --> 00:13:09,355.102 Keeping me on my toes. 155 00:13:09,395.102 --> 00:13:10,805.102 Mind games a little bit. 156 00:13:10,805.102 --> 00:13:11,25.102 Yeah. 157 00:13:11,25.102 --> 00:13:11,235.102 Exactly. 158 00:13:11,235.102 --> 00:13:12,465.102 Cause I, I don't want to be. 159 00:13:12,620.102 --> 00:13:23,910.1015 Predictable, you know, like I, I kind of want to like play around with it and, you know, obviously like I can give two roads, like, do you want this or this? You have a record on this, right? I did. 160 00:13:23,910.1015 --> 00:13:25,60.102 Yeah, we are recording. 161 00:13:25,60.102 --> 00:13:28,240.101 We definitely didn't start this earlier and forget to record it. 162 00:13:30,170.103 --> 00:13:30,840.101 But yeah, yeah. 163 00:13:30,840.102 --> 00:13:35,990.102 So there are like minor archetypes, but I would say the major is definitely caregiver. 164 00:13:36,60.102 --> 00:13:36,160.102 Yeah. 165 00:13:36,490.102 --> 00:13:37,880.102 No, I think that's a big thing. 166 00:13:37,880.102 --> 00:13:41,580.102 Like you are somebody like he does our grocery shopping because I have grocery store anxiety. 167 00:13:41,890.102 --> 00:13:44,130.102 He makes us dinner and like he's the chef of the house. 168 00:13:44,140.102 --> 00:13:45,610.1015 He always makes sure that we have food. 169 00:13:45,610.1015 --> 00:13:47,310.102 Food is his top priority. 170 00:13:47,710.102 --> 00:13:50,240.101 He makes sure that I have water, that dogs have water. 171 00:13:50,240.101 --> 00:13:50,860.101 He's got water. 172 00:13:50,860.101 --> 00:13:53,0.102 Like he truly is a caregiver. 173 00:13:53,340.102 --> 00:13:55,50.102 And acts of service are a big thing for him. 174 00:13:55,50.102 --> 00:13:56,720.102 Like, it's something that he truly wants to do. 175 00:13:56,720.102 --> 00:14:03,240.102 I used to feel bad, and now I know, like, it is something that fills up his cup to be able to take care of people. 176 00:14:03,510.102 --> 00:14:03,720.102 Yeah. 177 00:14:03,720.102 --> 00:14:06,640.102 And I can't, I can't have a good sub that's not resourced. 178 00:14:06,650.102 --> 00:14:08,190.102 Like, No, we've passed that one time. 179 00:14:08,220.101 --> 00:14:08,670.101 Yeah. 180 00:14:08,720.101 --> 00:14:11,760.102 Unresourced subs, they're just, Not good for anybody. 181 00:14:11,760.102 --> 00:14:19,50.101 So that is again, like I'm, yeah, I'm taking care of you, doing it for you, doing it for me and everyone wins. 182 00:14:19,50.102 --> 00:14:22,580.101 But yeah, like resourcing is, it falls just right into that. 183 00:14:22,590.102 --> 00:14:29,240.101 Like it all, all of this really starts to weave together as we've, you know established our early pyrodynamic. 184 00:14:29,240.101 --> 00:14:36,880.101 We, it has changed a little bit, but that is like, we, we got very strong in the space that we. 185 00:14:37,160.101 --> 00:15:04,70.101 fell into naturally together and we learned a ton about that and it was really cool to like just take that as far as we liked to, you know, and of course, we're not ever putting a ceiling on anything but I do feel like we're in a really good space with our dumb sub relationship and And, you know, how to still, you know, have fun with it and, and, and keep things exciting and mix things in. 186 00:15:04,70.101 --> 00:15:10,110.101 But we, you know, we have moved to a place with our dynamic where like implied consent can live now. 187 00:15:10,510.1 --> 00:15:10,750.1 Yeah. 188 00:15:10,790.101 --> 00:15:12,380.1005 We have learned each other enough. 189 00:15:12,380.1005 --> 00:15:20,120.101 And I think you are a good enough like brat tamer now that you've had your head on my foot at times to shut me up with a gag in my mouth. 190 00:15:20,130.101 --> 00:15:21,100.101 Like, and it's great. 191 00:15:21,140.101 --> 00:15:24,330.101 Like it's all consensual and it's things that we've both wanted. 192 00:15:24,810.101 --> 00:15:25,250.101 But. 193 00:15:25,650.102 --> 00:15:38,740.102 I do think it's really cool how our dynamic has shifted a lot and I think what's a really cool thing is like just because you might identify as vanilla now does not mean that you need to be vanilla forever if you want to change. 194 00:15:39,380.102 --> 00:15:42,660.102 If you're a dom now that does not mean that you can't ever fall into a switch role. 195 00:15:42,660.102 --> 00:15:48,660.102 If you're submissive now that doesn't mean you can't discover and really embody like your dominant side. 196 00:15:48,660.102 --> 00:15:50,760.102 Like, You can always evolve. 197 00:15:50,800.102 --> 00:15:52,600.102 Everything is constantly evolving. 198 00:15:52,890.102 --> 00:16:16,500.102 So why can't your kinks and your dynamic evolve? Yeah, I think it's been super cool to watch you like find your power I know that that's something that you've done a lot of work on and a lot of personal just like exploration in yourself is like, you know stepping into how Fucking powerful and awesome of a woman you are I'm not gonna cry. 199 00:16:17,50.102 --> 00:16:19,110.102 No, I, I do really appreciate that. 200 00:16:19,140.102 --> 00:16:21,10.102 I would say like with our dynamic. 201 00:16:21,690.102 --> 00:16:23,710.102 As probably all of you know, that's watching this. 202 00:16:23,710.102 --> 00:16:34,250.101 Like I started as a service top with Sunny when it came to pegging, like pegging is something that we have explored since the beginning of our relationship, but without a power dynamic, like it felt confusing at times. 203 00:16:34,320.102 --> 00:16:36,915.102 Pegging, is it? I don't know. 204 00:16:36,915.102 --> 00:16:42,765.102 I think it's implied that it's a dominant role because it's a top position, but that's not how it always has to be. 205 00:16:44,125.102 --> 00:16:44,555.102 Sorry. 206 00:16:45,365.102 --> 00:16:49,675.101 And I would, I would basically bottom from the top if that makes sense. 207 00:16:49,675.101 --> 00:16:53,535.102 And he would top from the bottom where he would tell me what he wanted me to do. 208 00:16:53,565.102 --> 00:16:57,85.102 And I would do that even if that meant that I was in a top position. 209 00:16:57,345.102 --> 00:17:13,250.101 I did not cross into Any Dom boundaries with you because that was something that from the beginning you did not want and we had talked about those things like when it came to choking or rough play or anything like that, that was something that was not on the table for you. 210 00:17:13,310.102 --> 00:17:17,790.1015 And I think it's because, like, I don't want to speak for you, but you had never explored that before with anybody. 211 00:17:17,790.1015 --> 00:17:21,280.101 It's a very vulnerable space to be a bottom. 212 00:17:21,530.101 --> 00:17:21,870.101 Yeah. 213 00:17:21,920.102 --> 00:17:26,440.102 And I mean, I think also why, you know, through our own exploration. 214 00:17:26,690.102 --> 00:17:33,430.102 It was a little confusing because all of the examples you have out in the world of pegging are, like, femdom. 215 00:17:33,590.102 --> 00:17:34,160.102 Like, they are. 216 00:17:34,250.102 --> 00:17:35,210.102 Really rough femdom. 217 00:17:35,210.202 --> 00:17:35,220.002 Yeah. 218 00:17:35,220.102 --> 00:17:39,460.102 Like, we would be on Reddit or Pornhub and these women, which, there is a place for this. 219 00:17:39,470.101 --> 00:17:40,540.102 Like, absolutely. 220 00:17:40,890.101 --> 00:17:44,70.002 But in, like, latex and leather and just going so hard. 221 00:17:44,70.102 --> 00:17:46,50.102 So hard on these guys and yeah. 222 00:17:46,80.102 --> 00:17:49,560.102 Degrading them and humiliating them and making them feel small. 223 00:17:49,830.102 --> 00:17:53,310.102 And that's absolutely a kink, but it was not a kink that you wanted. 224 00:17:53,310.102 --> 00:17:57,0.102 And so with that being like our only example, of course you didn't want that. 225 00:17:57,5.102 --> 00:17:58,710.102 That's not like, it's not who you are. 226 00:17:58,740.102 --> 00:17:58,950.102 Yeah. 227 00:17:58,950.102 --> 00:18:01,50.102 Like I, I, I like these sensations. 228 00:18:01,50.102 --> 00:18:02,340.102 I like the intimacy. 229 00:18:02,945.102 --> 00:18:06,865.102 That can come from an act like pegging, but not like that. 230 00:18:06,875.102 --> 00:18:09,185.102 So we had to figure it out. 231 00:18:09,215.102 --> 00:18:22,290.052 And we, you know, we definitely like kind of developed our own brand around how we approach, intimate, sensual, caring, loving, like service top style pegging. 232 00:18:22,290.052 --> 00:18:24,80.102 And it, and it has resonated so well. 233 00:18:24,80.102 --> 00:18:31,400.102 And it's been so cool to see other people just like, I honestly didn't think I was into that, but the way you, the way you do it. 234 00:18:31,400.102 --> 00:18:31,760.102 Yeah. 235 00:18:31,790.102 --> 00:18:33,310.101 It's also the way Tabby, no name, do it. 236 00:18:34,710.102 --> 00:18:37,0.002 I think it was a really cool way to start. 237 00:18:37,0.202 --> 00:18:40,750.202 And the reason for that is I think it's a safe way to learn how to peg with your partner. 238 00:18:41,40.202 --> 00:18:41,320.202 Yes. 239 00:18:41,370.202 --> 00:18:45,900.202 Because I'm not just jumping into this dominating role and trying to lead this scene. 240 00:18:46,100.203 --> 00:18:47,550.202 You're telling me what feels good. 241 00:18:47,560.203 --> 00:18:48,840.203 You're telling me how to do it. 242 00:18:48,870.202 --> 00:18:51,930.203 You're guiding the scene, even though I'm on top. 243 00:18:52,190.203 --> 00:18:55,480.203 And so it really taught me how to work your body. 244 00:18:55,480.203 --> 00:19:00,170.203 It taught me how to work these tools because these were such new toys for me to use. 245 00:19:00,210.203 --> 00:19:06,855.203 And it It It was probably for like eight or nine months, almost a year into our relationship before we ever even talked. 246 00:19:07,720.203 --> 00:19:14,590.203 Dipped our toes into actual femdom, but I had already pegged you so many times at this point that I know how you like to Be pegged. 247 00:19:14,600.203 --> 00:19:57,120.203 So that was like the bread and butter of of the femdom for us and then with me learning like I took like a professional dominatrix class with Domina Colette Privet, so she's incredible and she's been an incredible mentor and it's it's been really cool to be surrounded by such Powerful incredible women and has also showed me We we saw this Humiliation and degradation, but there's so many other different types of femdom as well Just like there are with men and so I was really able to pull in the archetypes that were true to me So I would say like mommy is my biggest one and mommy is something that I like I want to be around our friends. 248 00:19:57,130.203 --> 00:20:01,250.203 Like I, I don't, I don't have kids, but I have kids. 249 00:20:01,250.203 --> 00:20:05,730.203 Like I always have Capri suns or oranges or candy and toys. 250 00:20:05,730.203 --> 00:20:08,170.203 Like I'm always cuddling if anybody needs it. 251 00:20:08,170.203 --> 00:20:09,120.203 I'm here for hugs. 252 00:20:09,120.203 --> 00:20:15,730.203 Like I am a mommy figure because I don't ever want anybody to feel left out or unincluded or not have a good time or feel unsupported. 253 00:20:16,160.203 --> 00:20:18,320.203 And so mommy was something that was really big for me. 254 00:20:18,770.203 --> 00:20:19,480.203 And. 255 00:20:19,765.203 --> 00:20:22,775.203 I think the other ones that are really powerful is a goddess. 256 00:20:22,845.203 --> 00:20:28,945.203 I really do try to pull in goddess and goddess is something that I pull in when I feel very self conscious because the goddess does not feel self conscious. 257 00:20:29,495.203 --> 00:20:35,105.2025 So I just asked myself, like, how would she feel? How would she act? And that has helped me to create content. 258 00:20:35,105.2025 --> 00:20:37,485.203 That's helped me to get in front of the camera at times. 259 00:20:37,485.203 --> 00:20:40,275.203 Like, and it's really helped me to move and just. 260 00:20:40,350.303 --> 00:20:45,450.303 The sacred prostitute is a really big one of like, I want you to feel so turned on. 261 00:20:45,450.304 --> 00:20:47,540.303 I want you to feel desire. 262 00:20:47,540.303 --> 00:20:49,400.303 I want your curiosities to be heard. 263 00:20:49,400.303 --> 00:20:51,340.303 I want to push all your fantasies. 264 00:20:51,340.303 --> 00:20:52,960.303 I want to explore your fantasies. 265 00:20:52,960.303 --> 00:20:55,70.303 Like it never make you feel shame or anything. 266 00:20:55,70.303 --> 00:20:58,460.303 So those are really big things that I pull into my archetypes. 267 00:20:58,880.303 --> 00:21:06,270.303 And I don't know what it is when you, we do psychedelics, but Sunny falls into a little bit of a subby space. 268 00:21:06,330.302 --> 00:21:07,860.303 Yeah, it happens every time now. 269 00:21:09,155.303 --> 00:21:17,155.303 And the first time this happened to us was like last year and it happened and we didn't really talk about it because we didn't really know what had happened. 270 00:21:17,725.303 --> 00:21:19,965.302 But it was an incredible and very intimate moment. 271 00:21:19,965.303 --> 00:21:22,255.303 And then the second time this happened, we talked about it. 272 00:21:23,185.303 --> 00:21:23,555.303 Yeah. 273 00:21:23,595.303 --> 00:21:26,655.302 And there were moments that like, I don't know what it was. 274 00:21:26,655.302 --> 00:21:28,75.303 It's this, like, I get behind him. 275 00:21:28,75.303 --> 00:21:32,135.303 He's a good little spoon and just like whispering and holding him. 276 00:21:32,135.303 --> 00:21:35,755.303 And he turns into a mushy little boy who just wants to be taken care of. 277 00:21:36,295.303 --> 00:21:36,795.303 Yeah. 278 00:21:37,75.302 --> 00:21:38,195.302 Well, and, and like. 279 00:21:39,65.303 --> 00:22:04,165.303 Those two experiences, like as we progressed with pegging, like you were I don't know, you were, you were starting to really have like a little routine around getting ready, like, and you would put on certain things that almost like would, would give you more confidence and, you know, just help you embody who you wanted to be when you pegged me, even if it was still in a service top way that we were doing. 280 00:22:04,435.303 --> 00:22:13,605.3363333 And, That started, I do think that started like unknowingly, like opening me up more to more to seeing you in a certain way. 281 00:22:13,605.3363333 --> 00:22:14,655.303 It was like a conditioning. 282 00:22:14,815.302 --> 00:22:16,345.303 A little bit, yeah. 283 00:22:16,345.403 --> 00:22:16,935.202 Like, okay, she's ready. 284 00:22:16,935.302 --> 00:22:18,735.303 Yeah, yeah, so that. 285 00:22:18,935.302 --> 00:22:20,710.203 Clothes are really important to me in that sense. 286 00:22:20,790.303 --> 00:22:26,380.303 Because like, you don't, you don't step into a leather harness and like a mesh bodysuit and feel submissive. 287 00:22:26,680.303 --> 00:22:35,280.303 Like you step into it and you feel like you are a mommy and everybody is going to behave around you or they're going to be punished in a way that they might not enjoy. 288 00:22:35,620.303 --> 00:22:37,230.303 And music is really big for us. 289 00:22:37,250.303 --> 00:22:46,180.303 Like anytime we have any type of pegging scene, like there's music on and it is very curated music that feels like powerful music in a sense. 290 00:22:46,660.303 --> 00:22:52,90.303 So yeah, there are some things that really help me to embody that, and I think it's really cool that you've seen that. 291 00:22:52,410.303 --> 00:22:53,260.303 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 292 00:22:53,260.303 --> 00:23:07,180.302 So I'd say that's probably been like, there was that one time a year ago that we didn't really acknowledge, but I'd say in the last six months, we've really started to yeah, I would say I at least identify as Switch E. 293 00:23:07,905.302 --> 00:23:08,465.302 I would say you're switchy. 294 00:23:08,615.302 --> 00:23:09,145.302 Switchy. 295 00:23:09,145.302 --> 00:23:10,865.302 I would say you're, you're a switch. 296 00:23:10,895.302 --> 00:23:11,375.302 Yeah. 297 00:23:11,415.302 --> 00:23:11,905.302 Yeah. 298 00:23:11,905.302 --> 00:23:12,245.302 Yeah. 299 00:23:12,285.302 --> 00:23:12,405.302 Yeah. 300 00:23:12,405.302 --> 00:23:19,625.302 I mean, we still have like our, I would say our normal sex is still very much like dom sub or, you know, somewhere in the middle. 301 00:23:19,715.302 --> 00:23:20,485.301 That is led by you. 302 00:23:20,485.302 --> 00:23:25,345.202 But now I've noticed that we've kind of gone back and forth, like if I'm on top or something like that. 303 00:23:25,345.302 --> 00:23:28,375.302 There'll be times where I call you a good boy, like in the middle of it. 304 00:23:28,375.302 --> 00:23:34,875.302 And then there's times that I will call you daddy at the same, in the same exact playtime, which I think is a really cool thing. 305 00:23:34,875.302 --> 00:23:42,555.3015 And it's a really hard thing for a lot of people to do, to be able to switch back and forth and to be able to juggle those balls and it not take away or feel confusing. 306 00:23:42,555.3015 --> 00:23:44,585.301 Cause there have been times that it's been very confusing. 307 00:23:44,895.301 --> 00:23:47,245.302 The second time when you fell into this game. 308 00:23:47,265.302 --> 00:23:49,415.302 Super subby, cute little boy. 309 00:23:49,425.302 --> 00:23:54,815.302 Like you were telling me to like do all of these things to you that in the past you had told me you'd never wanted to be like choking. 310 00:23:55,255.302 --> 00:23:56,765.302 You were like, I choke me as I like harder. 311 00:23:56,765.302 --> 00:23:57,845.302 And I was like, okay. 312 00:23:58,155.301 --> 00:24:06,95.302 Like, and so you were giving me consent, but it was something that I had to really tip toe towards because I know that these had been boundaries for you in the past. 313 00:24:06,105.302 --> 00:24:08,205.302 And so I wanted to make sure that you never felt. 314 00:24:09,130.302 --> 00:24:11,610.302 Degraded or humiliated, unless that was something that you wanted. 315 00:24:11,610.402 --> 00:24:12,210.202 No, not my flavor. 316 00:24:12,210.302 --> 00:24:13,920.302 No, like, you like to be praised. 317 00:24:13,920.302 --> 00:24:17,970.302 Like, I can slap your face now and spit in your mouth and tell you that you're the perfect little good boy. 318 00:24:18,10.302 --> 00:24:18,500.301 And I love it. 319 00:24:18,550.302 --> 00:24:18,760.302 Yeah. 320 00:24:18,760.402 --> 00:24:21,140.302 It's all about context. 321 00:24:21,150.302 --> 00:24:59,540.302 Well, and I think that one of the big things too about being submissive is, and I never, I never like identified with like feeling like society put an immense amount of pressure on me to like be a man for like a Lack of a better way to put it but like I do think that was that was part of it too is just like, you know I had already done a lot of mental work to You know, enjoy pegging like, you know, it was something I was curious of, but you battle with it a little bit internally and then you know, that is a really big one. 322 00:24:59,540.302 --> 00:25:13,980.302 But even to step deeper into that and do it like drop into a submissive pegging place, or just a submissive place in general, it's just like, you know, you, am I less of a man? Like am I, you know. 323 00:25:14,835.302 --> 00:25:40,350.302 Well, and you're constantly being called like beta just for wearing matching like this whole beta alpha thing Like I could get on a soapbox for hours But there's something so incredibly and I'm gonna say this it takes a very very secure Human man or woman but it takes a very secure man to be able to be in a vulnerable space To be able to give power to somebody and it takes a very secure secure and confident woman to be able to step into power. 324 00:25:40,650.302 --> 00:25:43,980.302 Because society is not nice to either of those power roles. 325 00:25:44,0.302 --> 00:25:50,880.302 It looks down upon women in power and it definitely looks down upon men who are submissive at times. 326 00:25:51,140.302 --> 00:26:21,435.302 But I know so thousands now at this point, thousands of men who want to either explore their switchy side, who want to be submissive, want to find a dominating partner, because like, There's nothing better than after a long day of being dominating all day at work or in the car or wherever in your family to be able to just let somebody take the lead, to let somebody care for you, to not have to worry, to not have to think you're just like, I'm a good boy. 327 00:26:21,765.302 --> 00:26:23,155.301 I'm going to do what mommy says. 328 00:26:23,195.301 --> 00:26:24,645.301 I'm going to be taken care of. 329 00:26:24,655.301 --> 00:26:25,535.301 She's feeling good. 330 00:26:25,535.301 --> 00:26:26,555.301 I'm feeling good. 331 00:26:26,855.301 --> 00:26:32,440.302 Like there's, there's nothing better than that at times to be able to just let somebody Yeah. 332 00:26:32,480.302 --> 00:26:32,700.302 Yeah. 333 00:26:32,700.302 --> 00:26:32,900.302 Yeah. 334 00:26:32,900.302 --> 00:26:46,200.3015 And it's, it's even, I think for myself to having that like acts of service or a love language, like, you know, taking care of somebody, being that pleasure dom to like throw all of that aside. 335 00:26:46,200.3015 --> 00:26:50,290.302 It's just like, I am, Not doing any of those things. 336 00:26:50,300.302 --> 00:27:41,760.302 Like, is this going to change our core relationship? Like, that's definitely something I've, you know, thought about is like, okay, if we have this one experience, is that going to shake things foundationally? And it has it and if it if it if it does a little bit I don't think that's something to be scared of either No, I think like you lean into change But I can't tell you like how much my pussy drips when I get to like make you feel good Because I get to step into that pleasure dom role And I It's it's hard like it is incredibly hard to lead a scene to be on the entire time I don't realize how much you have to talk when you have to talk when there is like a Submissive whether that is a man or a woman at this point like under you you are guiding and if you are guiding Quiet for too long, they're going to get out of that subspace. 337 00:27:42,10.302 --> 00:27:44,170.302 They're going to start thinking that they need to step in. 338 00:27:44,180.302 --> 00:27:51,570.302 Like, and so you have to guide and reassure and like give tasks even like telling your partner to do things. 339 00:27:51,570.302 --> 00:28:05,180.301 There was a time that Mistress Hex and I were dominating you and I was pegging you and she was holding you and I made you look up at her and tell her 10 things you loved about her, like as you're being pegged, like, and as a sub you have to do it or he would get punished. 340 00:28:06,590.301 --> 00:28:07,110.302 Yeah, it was wonderful. 341 00:28:08,570.302 --> 00:28:08,920.302 Yeah. 342 00:28:09,120.302 --> 00:28:21,620.3015 Yeah, no, but it is, it, it's, it's an active thing and I think, you know, as much as I have realized what a sub is being like, you've had the same experience with what it being a dom is like. 343 00:28:21,620.3015 --> 00:28:21,880.301 Like. 344 00:28:22,705.302 --> 00:28:54,690.302 Having that switch you see the other side like you're not just one sided you can actually experience You know what you do to other people and I think that's that's amazing Like I want to experience what I do to people and same same for you And it's I think that's just really cool as I do feel like Stepping into this and exploring it like I I can I can Understand what it's like to be a sub and that makes me a better Dom with you with with new people Like it gives you this empathy. 345 00:28:54,690.302 --> 00:29:12,185.302 It gives you this relatability and it makes your aftercare so much better Like anybody who says that they're a switch I know that they're a good lover because they can empathize with both sides and and and They know what it's like to be maybe in a bad subspace too and know what dom drop feels like. 346 00:29:12,185.302 --> 00:29:20,75.303 Like these really important things but as a dom, it's also incredibly important to like remember that when they're done, you're not done yet. 347 00:29:20,85.302 --> 00:29:26,735.303 Like it's still, you have to now care for them and care for the scene and, and aftercare is incredibly important for both of you. 348 00:29:26,950.303 --> 00:29:28,410.303 Because DomDrop's real, too. 349 00:29:28,410.303 --> 00:29:29,550.303 You just put in a ton of work. 350 00:29:29,850.303 --> 00:29:31,330.303 You maybe did a lot of impact. 351 00:29:31,330.303 --> 00:29:33,670.303 You might feel like a horrible person. 352 00:29:33,670.303 --> 00:29:34,850.303 Like, are you okay? Yeah. 353 00:29:34,850.303 --> 00:29:36,260.303 Was that okay? I mean, I can't tell you. 354 00:29:36,460.303 --> 00:29:58,545.302 That's something I've, I've done not almost every time, but I'd say more than 50 percent of the time where once we're done, even though I've checked in, in the middle of it and I'm just like, Hey, like, I, I kind of feel like a monster, you know, like that was, yeah, are we cool? Like, and that's why it's incredibly important to build that communication. 355 00:29:58,545.303 --> 00:30:09,405.303 Like, I don't ever want you walking away thinking that you hurt me and I don't ever want to feel like I can't tell you if maybe it was too hard of an impact scene and that's how we grow together. 356 00:30:09,585.303 --> 00:30:12,915.303 You don't get better at impact if you don't talk about it, kind of thing. 357 00:30:13,75.303 --> 00:30:13,805.303 No, no. 358 00:30:13,855.303 --> 00:30:20,5.303 So yeah, our power dynamic and the evolution of it has been absolutely wonderful. 359 00:30:20,725.303 --> 00:30:21,355.303 It's so much fun. 360 00:30:21,395.303 --> 00:30:33,735.303 Yeah, and I'm super excited to keep going in both ways, yeah, on the submissive side and on the dominant side, because I just, you know, there's so much out there we don't know, we don't know, and we don't know until we try it. 361 00:30:33,735.303 --> 00:30:34,675.303 We're excited to learn it all. 362 00:30:34,715.303 --> 00:30:36,45.303 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 363 00:30:36,45.303 --> 00:30:38,5.303 So do you want to move on to Daddy and Mommy? Yeah. 364 00:30:38,5.403 --> 00:30:38,45.303 Yeah. 365 00:30:38,45.303 --> 00:30:38,85.203 Yeah. 366 00:30:38,725.303 --> 00:30:39,75.303 Yeah. 367 00:30:39,285.303 --> 00:30:39,675.303 Yeah. 368 00:30:39,715.303 --> 00:30:40,95.303 Yeah. 369 00:30:40,165.303 --> 00:30:41,35.303 You wanna? Yeah. 370 00:30:41,35.303 --> 00:30:41,815.303 I can talk about daddy. 371 00:30:41,915.303 --> 00:30:42,195.303 Okay. 372 00:30:42,215.303 --> 00:30:46,15.303 So like I said earlier, daddy was something that I did not ever want to say. 373 00:30:46,15.303 --> 00:30:48,165.3025 It was not something that I wanted a dynamic with. 374 00:30:48,165.3025 --> 00:30:50,435.302 It was kind of a word that grossed me out, to be honest with you. 375 00:30:50,435.303 --> 00:30:50,655.303 Yeah. 376 00:30:50,675.303 --> 00:30:51,465.303 I can see Mickey. 377 00:30:51,515.303 --> 00:30:52,15.303 Yeah. 378 00:30:52,15.303 --> 00:30:53,545.302 And, and I can see why. 379 00:30:53,555.303 --> 00:31:01,115.303 Like I can absolutely understand, especially if you are a father that has kids, like you don't want the sexualization of the word daddy. 380 00:31:01,155.303 --> 00:31:01,315.303 Yeah. 381 00:31:01,515.303 --> 00:31:01,760.103 But. 382 00:31:02,80.203 --> 00:31:06,490.203 But when it slipped out of my mouth the third time that we had sex, it just came out. 383 00:31:06,790.203 --> 00:31:11,430.203 It did something so incredibly powerful for both of us, but we leaned into it and we listened to it. 384 00:31:11,710.203 --> 00:31:18,390.203 And what I had found is like what daddy means to me and what sunny being my daddy means to me is that I'm cared for. 385 00:31:18,610.203 --> 00:31:19,430.202 I'm respected. 386 00:31:19,430.203 --> 00:31:20,635.103 I'm taken care of. 387 00:31:21,185.203 --> 00:31:25,15.203 Meaning that like he's going to bring me water if I'm not drinking water. 388 00:31:25,15.203 --> 00:31:27,95.203 He's going to make me food if I haven't eaten. 389 00:31:27,95.203 --> 00:31:34,175.203 Like sometimes I'm not the best at resourcing myself because I get super busy and he wants to step in and take care of that as his, as the caregiver. 390 00:31:34,225.202 --> 00:31:35,5.203 And I see you. 391 00:31:35,125.203 --> 00:31:37,45.202 Like I'm, I'm, I see you all the time. 392 00:31:37,195.203 --> 00:31:41,635.203 It's not just like, you know, you're going to get cranky if you don't eat. 393 00:31:41,635.203 --> 00:31:44,100.203 It's like, I'm paying attention. 394 00:31:44,100.203 --> 00:31:49,850.203 Yeah, I'm gonna get cranky, and then I'm gonna get really tired, and then I'm gonna feel really guilty, and it's like this whole thing that happens. 395 00:31:50,140.203 --> 00:31:52,60.203 And, like, you don't make me feel bad. 396 00:31:52,70.203 --> 00:31:53,910.2025 You accept me as my daddy. 397 00:31:53,910.2025 --> 00:31:57,0.202 You accept me for whatever version I am that day. 398 00:31:57,0.202 --> 00:32:03,600.203 Whether it is the sexy goddess, or the, like, trash shark that just wants to cry and watch movies. 399 00:32:03,600.203 --> 00:32:07,570.203 Yeah, and have Nutella sandwiches and Gushers for lunch. 400 00:32:08,980.203 --> 00:32:16,370.203 But I am truly a little girl and I do really appreciate having somebody that lets me lean into that little girl at times. 401 00:32:16,370.203 --> 00:32:17,480.203 Like I am a silly goose. 402 00:32:17,480.203 --> 00:32:21,150.203 I, I love my stuffed animals and you'll even get them for me. 403 00:32:21,360.203 --> 00:32:24,720.2025 I, I did not have the most secure childhood. 404 00:32:24,720.2025 --> 00:32:25,270.203 And so it is. 405 00:32:25,285.203 --> 00:32:33,715.202 It is really nice having somebody who does support me and loves me and sees me for who I am and does not try to change that. 406 00:32:34,5.203 --> 00:32:43,675.203 I can't tell you how nice it is to not have to be turned on in the sense of like being on all the time of like pretending to be happy or pretending to be something that I'm not. 407 00:32:43,675.203 --> 00:32:50,265.203 I can just be a piece of garbage if I'm a piece of garbage today and you'll swamp around with me and you'll watch a movie with me. 408 00:32:50,280.303 --> 00:32:51,862.728 I love you. 409 00:32:51,862.728 --> 00:32:54,500.103 I love you too, baby. 410 00:32:54,580.203 --> 00:33:08,490.202 Yeah, and it's, what I really like about the daddy thing is it's not something, I do, I do recognize that it is, I think it is a more common request from guys to just like call me daddy. 411 00:33:08,490.202 --> 00:33:10,370.203 Like, who's your daddy? You have to earn that shit. 412 00:33:10,550.203 --> 00:33:11,460.203 That's a phrase for a reason. 413 00:33:11,460.203 --> 00:33:14,270.203 Yeah, if you're, if you're asking me to call you daddy. 414 00:33:14,490.203 --> 00:33:15,270.203 You're not daddy. 415 00:33:15,270.203 --> 00:33:15,920.203 I'm sorry. 416 00:33:15,930.203 --> 00:33:17,680.203 Like daddies don't have to ask that. 417 00:33:17,810.203 --> 00:33:20,20.203 Yeah, like I wanna, I wanna wanna call you daddy. 418 00:33:20,30.203 --> 00:33:23,260.203 And like, all of my girlfriends that I've slept with you call you daddy. 419 00:33:23,270.203 --> 00:33:25,720.203 Like, my friends call him, he's daddy. 420 00:33:25,770.203 --> 00:33:26,390.203 Yeah. 421 00:33:26,470.202 --> 00:33:27,540.203 He's daddy, I'm mommy. 422 00:33:27,890.202 --> 00:33:39,840.203 Yeah, and I think it's cool, like I, I, I guess I never felt like a certain way about, That until someone did it to me, like I was just like hooking up with a girl and she called me daddy. 423 00:33:39,840.203 --> 00:33:41,850.203 And it was just like, love that. 424 00:33:41,900.203 --> 00:33:43,460.202 Like and it makes sense. 425 00:33:43,550.203 --> 00:33:47,970.203 Pleasure Dom, acts of service, like daddy, daddy, that's the, that's the word you use. 426 00:33:48,380.203 --> 00:33:49,700.203 That's the word you use for that. 427 00:33:49,710.203 --> 00:33:50,260.203 Thank you. 428 00:33:50,880.203 --> 00:33:51,190.2025 Yeah. 429 00:33:51,190.2025 --> 00:33:51,940.203 Please do it more. 430 00:33:52,20.203 --> 00:33:53,620.203 But it was never something I like sought out. 431 00:33:53,620.203 --> 00:33:55,990.203 I was like, I, I like this, but I'm not going to push this. 432 00:33:55,990.203 --> 00:34:00,30.203 Like, this isn't something again, it's earned, you know, I, I started to understand that. 433 00:34:00,40.203 --> 00:34:02,410.203 And then when you, when you said it. 434 00:34:03,275.203 --> 00:34:04,795.203 Wasn't something I had thought about for a while. 435 00:34:04,795.203 --> 00:34:33,925.203 So I actually like looked it up I like wanted to understand why women did like it and that's when you know I think I even sent you like a reddit thread where someone was like This is what it is to me and this is why it's okay for me And this is why it feels good and and that really really helped Because yeah, it can't just come with weird connotations And I think it's been really cool to like to earn that because I do love it like that It's almost like a It's almost like good boy. 436 00:34:34,285.203 --> 00:34:34,605.203 It is. 437 00:34:34,875.203 --> 00:34:35,675.203 It is good boy. 438 00:34:35,675.203 --> 00:34:36,925.203 It is just a different good boy. 439 00:34:36,935.203 --> 00:34:37,645.203 Yeah, it is. 440 00:34:37,665.203 --> 00:34:37,785.203 It is. 441 00:34:37,825.203 --> 00:34:42,225.203 And like I wouldn't even say that, like, daddy's not even a sexual term for us. 442 00:34:42,245.203 --> 00:34:45,495.2025 Like, there are times that I'll use it during sex to address you. 443 00:34:45,495.2025 --> 00:34:46,645.203 It's like sir for us. 444 00:34:46,645.303 --> 00:34:47,885.103 Yeah. 445 00:34:47,885.203 --> 00:34:49,655.202 And there are times that I've called you sir. 446 00:34:50,605.203 --> 00:34:51,845.203 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 447 00:34:52,55.203 --> 00:34:53,645.203 Those are different, like, master roles. 448 00:34:54,55.203 --> 00:34:57,545.203 But but daddy is not like this, like, hyper sexualized thing. 449 00:34:57,545.203 --> 00:34:59,115.203 It is just, this is my daddy. 450 00:34:59,115.303 --> 00:34:59,135.103 Daddy. 451 00:34:59,405.203 --> 00:35:04,575.203 My daddy cares for me, my daddy loves me, and I'm grateful for my daddy. 452 00:35:04,735.203 --> 00:35:05,535.203 Yeah, thank you. 453 00:35:05,585.203 --> 00:35:09,815.203 But yeah, it's not a hypersexual, it doesn't have to be a hypersexualized thing. 454 00:35:10,225.202 --> 00:35:10,485.202 No. 455 00:35:10,495.203 --> 00:35:12,955.202 And you don't even need to be sleeping with somebody to call them daddy. 456 00:35:13,440.203 --> 00:35:14,910.203 No, no, no, no. 457 00:35:15,150.203 --> 00:35:15,830.203 Thank you, daddy. 458 00:35:15,880.203 --> 00:35:27,70.202 You say it all the time, but yeah, I mean, I can, I can talk about mommy, like, so, I mean, mommy was never something I was like, nope, nope, not even understandable. 459 00:35:27,100.203 --> 00:35:31,370.203 Yeah, never, never even, never even popped into my head like slip out. 460 00:35:31,590.203 --> 00:35:39,770.202 But you, I think it was after the second time we had one of my like, I'm a subby good little boy. 461 00:35:40,55.203 --> 00:35:49,485.203 And you said this to me, do you remember what you said about a mommy? I, I don't, but what I do remember about this playtime was you looked at me and you said, can I call you mommy? I asked. 462 00:35:49,485.203 --> 00:35:50,65.203 Yeah. 463 00:35:50,195.203 --> 00:35:50,395.203 Yeah. 464 00:35:50,395.203 --> 00:35:51,305.202 Cause I also didn't know. 465 00:35:51,305.203 --> 00:36:02,725.203 I don't want to, if mommy is a humiliating thing, I didn't want to say it, but you said, you looked at me, you looked at me and you're like, can I call you mommy? Yeah. 466 00:36:03,145.203 --> 00:36:15,865.202 But what did I say? Well, afterwards we were talking about it and you, this is just like, When the switch flipped for that was, you know, You can't be a daddy without having a mommy. 467 00:36:16,35.202 --> 00:36:17,855.202 Like, yeah, daddy needs a mommy. 468 00:36:17,855.202 --> 00:36:19,525.202 And I was like, of course a daddy needs a mommy. 469 00:36:19,525.202 --> 00:36:20,715.202 Yep, cool, we're good now. 470 00:36:21,885.201 --> 00:36:23,425.202 Straight ahead, full steam. 471 00:36:23,975.202 --> 00:36:25,255.202 Yeah, and it was wonderful. 472 00:36:25,255.302 --> 00:36:28,665.202 I know you pulled that out of thin air and it was so good. 473 00:36:28,705.202 --> 00:36:29,375.201 We're good at that. 474 00:36:29,845.201 --> 00:36:31,385.201 Sometimes our words are just perfect. 475 00:36:31,395.203 --> 00:36:36,30.202 Yeah, and that was like, and it just like, I don't know. 476 00:36:36,570.202 --> 00:36:38,780.202 Like, I want to be cared for too. 477 00:36:39,80.202 --> 00:36:40,100.202 And I want to care for you. 478 00:36:40,110.202 --> 00:36:42,470.202 Like, a mommy knows what's best for you. 479 00:36:42,470.202 --> 00:36:47,510.2015 A mommy is always going to reward you and obviously punish you if you're not being good. 480 00:36:47,510.2015 --> 00:36:51,460.202 But like, a mommy wants to push you and celebrate you and, and hold you. 481 00:36:51,850.201 --> 00:36:52,180.201 Yeah. 482 00:36:52,730.202 --> 00:36:55,510.202 Things that, I know like celebration was a big thing for you. 483 00:36:55,620.202 --> 00:36:57,450.202 Oh my gosh, I cannot celebrate. 484 00:36:57,590.202 --> 00:36:59,860.202 No, like I don't think a lot of guys can celebrate. 485 00:36:59,870.202 --> 00:37:01,250.202 A lot of us can't celebrate. 486 00:37:01,260.202 --> 00:37:06,80.201 Such a hard time, like there was just like, okay, did that, what's the next thing? Oh, didn't do that, good. 487 00:37:06,170.202 --> 00:37:07,80.202 Nothing good happened. 488 00:37:07,90.201 --> 00:37:15,510.202 Like, grazing by it, so it's really, really wonderful to have somebody that, yeah, it's just like, no, mommy sees you and mommy's so proud of you. 489 00:37:15,510.302 --> 00:37:16,825.102 So proud of you. 490 00:37:17,365.202 --> 00:37:34,365.202 Yeah, so that that was something yeah never thought about the again in And I think it happens a lot with people where you're like i'm not into that but like with the right person And at the right time Mommy makes sense and context is really important. 491 00:37:34,375.202 --> 00:37:42,35.202 Yeah, and it and it that It, it in that moment, mommy seemed right and ever since then, mommy is seemed right. 492 00:37:42,95.202 --> 00:37:42,635.202 Mommy's right. 493 00:37:42,755.202 --> 00:37:43,145.202 Yeah. 494 00:37:43,145.202 --> 00:37:43,865.202 Mommy's always right. 495 00:37:45,825.202 --> 00:37:46,5.202 Yeah. 496 00:37:46,340.202 --> 00:37:51,825.202 But yeah, it's, it's been really cool to again, just be able to be vulnerable and say, yes, I want to be taken care of. 497 00:37:51,825.202 --> 00:37:53,415.202 I want a mommy. 498 00:37:53,565.202 --> 00:37:53,745.202 Yeah. 499 00:37:53,745.202 --> 00:37:55,35.202 I want, I'm safe. 500 00:37:55,125.202 --> 00:37:55,995.202 Yeah, I'm safe. 501 00:37:55,995.202 --> 00:37:57,255.202 I'm safe forever and ever. 502 00:37:57,260.202 --> 00:37:58,515.202 Safety, safety is the secret. 503 00:37:58,515.202 --> 00:37:59,25.202 Everybody. 504 00:37:59,85.202 --> 00:38:00,795.202 I don't know if you're picking up on this safety. 505 00:38:02,870.202 --> 00:38:06,500.202 But yeah, I don't know if I have anything else on that one. 506 00:38:06,620.202 --> 00:38:07,70.202 Love you. 507 00:38:07,260.202 --> 00:38:08,160.202 Love you too, baby. 508 00:38:08,290.202 --> 00:38:08,450.202 Okay. 509 00:38:09,20.202 --> 00:38:14,820.202 Do you want to talk about your BDSM? Are you talking about the BDSM and? No, just the BDSM test. 510 00:38:14,830.202 --> 00:38:16,380.201 So if you go to sunnyandSkye. 511 00:38:16,400.201 --> 00:38:22,700.201 com we have given two free of our favorite resources that are linked on our site under advice. 512 00:38:22,925.201 --> 00:38:26,625.201 You'll see kink tests, and the first one is a BDSM role test. 513 00:38:26,815.201 --> 00:38:41,455.201 When I have a lot of people that come to OnlyFans to chat, they will ask me, I am interested in exploring my dominant side, I'm interested in exploring my submissive side, or I don't even know what this means, how would I explore this? This is the first thing that I have them do. 514 00:38:41,685.201 --> 00:38:46,745.201 And this is one of the first things that we did when we got together to try and figure out where we also fell into this. 515 00:38:46,745.201 --> 00:38:51,415.201 So what this does is it asks you a bunch of questions some things that you'd be interested in. 516 00:38:51,540.201 --> 00:38:56,570.201 it in, and then you get a percentage of what you, what your role might be. 517 00:38:56,800.201 --> 00:39:00,80.201 I, and I can even attach ours to this or put it on there. 518 00:39:00,350.201 --> 00:39:08,600.201 But like my number one, I think was like brat and then number two was submissive and then Dom was a little bit further down cause we hadn't explored that at this time. 519 00:39:08,610.2 --> 00:39:09,150.2 High on exercise. 520 00:39:09,225.201 --> 00:39:10,65.201 Exhibitionist too. 521 00:39:10,105.201 --> 00:39:10,905.201 I'm super high. 522 00:39:10,955.201 --> 00:39:11,815.201 Like that makes sense. 523 00:39:11,815.201 --> 00:39:13,185.201 Right? Like being watched. 524 00:39:13,525.201 --> 00:39:18,285.2 And then when he took it, like our things were like exactly opposite, like he's a brat tamer. 525 00:39:18,285.201 --> 00:39:19,195.2 He's a dominant. 526 00:39:19,205.201 --> 00:39:21,25.2 It was really, really cool to see. 527 00:39:21,65.201 --> 00:39:21,505.201 Voyeur. 528 00:39:21,565.201 --> 00:39:21,995.201 Voyeur. 529 00:39:22,685.2 --> 00:39:35,145.2 But this is a really fun thing also to explore, like if you are compatible in a power dynamic with somebody, like if somebody is really big on age play and you're not big into age play, that could be a really hard thing for you to explore. 530 00:39:35,415.199 --> 00:39:41,375.199 This can also be a really cool thing to explore concepts and ideas that maybe you don't know. 531 00:39:41,455.199 --> 00:39:50,375.199 Like there might be some words on here that you've never seen before, like a bunny, like a rope bunny or a rigger, if you've never heard of Shibari terms. 532 00:39:50,705.199 --> 00:39:56,635.199 So this can be a really cool way to like also do your own continuing education and see what you would maybe be into. 533 00:39:56,895.199 --> 00:40:02,445.199 But this is a, a a resource I really, really do recommend for anybody who's exploring power play. 534 00:40:02,725.199 --> 00:40:07,55.199 And if you're going to come to OnlyFans and you're going to tell me you're a dom, I'm going to ask you what type of dom you are. 535 00:40:07,335.198 --> 00:40:09,805.199 Like, I do want to hear your experience with this. 536 00:40:09,805.199 --> 00:40:19,255.199 I want to hear where you've pulled your inspiration from and how you care for your subs because there are a lot of misconceptions around doms just being these powerful, controlling people. 537 00:40:19,545.199 --> 00:40:21,185.199 And I'm going to put a kibosh to that. 538 00:40:21,215.199 --> 00:40:25,235.099 Like doms are very intimate, loving, caregiving people. 539 00:40:25,475.199 --> 00:40:30,865.199 people and they can, they can be a little bit more assertive, but that does not mean they're mean. 540 00:40:31,335.199 --> 00:40:32,795.199 No, no, no, absolutely not. 541 00:40:32,925.199 --> 00:40:34,135.198 You're not mean to your subs. 542 00:40:34,165.199 --> 00:40:35,15.1985 You don't get to do that. 543 00:40:35,15.1985 --> 00:40:35,445.199 Not here. 544 00:40:36,225.199 --> 00:40:36,465.199 No. 545 00:40:37,5.199 --> 00:40:39,825.198 And one thing I'll say about this is it's not a one and done. 546 00:40:40,675.198 --> 00:40:44,890.098 Like, I think it's a really good thing to use to get a baseline, but like. 547 00:40:44,890.298 --> 00:40:46,80.098 We have it. 548 00:40:46,80.198 --> 00:40:48,970.198 We should actually take it again because I guarantee you mine would be different. 549 00:40:49,10.198 --> 00:40:49,590.198 Way different. 550 00:40:49,600.198 --> 00:40:49,980.198 Yeah. 551 00:40:49,980.198 --> 00:40:51,210.198 Every six months you should take it. 552 00:40:51,240.198 --> 00:40:51,720.198 Yeah. 553 00:40:51,720.198 --> 00:40:58,880.198 Yeah, and just check in with yourself, you know, as you continue to explore and evolve because you know, it's not set in stone. 554 00:40:59,630.198 --> 00:41:01,920.1975 And this is a really cool icebreaker for your partner. 555 00:41:01,920.1975 --> 00:41:05,340.198 If you don't know how to bring up PowerPlate to your partner, take this test together. 556 00:41:06,10.198 --> 00:41:10,360.198 Yo, I see that you are a switch and I've wanted to explore my submissive side. 557 00:41:10,930.198 --> 00:41:11,390.098 Let's do it. 558 00:41:11,550.198 --> 00:41:12,140.198 Let's do that. 559 00:41:12,240.198 --> 00:41:13,350.198 Yeah, let's start doing it. 560 00:41:13,370.198 --> 00:41:15,140.198 So yeah, it's a, it's a wonderful resource. 561 00:41:15,140.198 --> 00:41:15,320.198 Yeah. 562 00:41:15,320.198 --> 00:41:19,880.197 We, we recommend it to so many people and it's free and it's free and it's fun. 563 00:41:20,50.198 --> 00:41:20,900.198 Yeah, it's cute. 564 00:41:20,920.198 --> 00:41:23,300.198 Put it on your like field profile or your Tinder profile. 565 00:41:23,450.198 --> 00:41:25,650.198 Yeah, yeah, exactly. 566 00:41:25,860.197 --> 00:41:26,170.197 Cool. 567 00:41:26,230.197 --> 00:41:26,520.197 All right. 568 00:41:26,530.196 --> 00:41:27,640.197 So next big topic. 569 00:41:27,910.196 --> 00:41:29,50.196 Thanks for hanging in here guys. 570 00:41:29,90.197 --> 00:41:30,530.196 Big, big. 571 00:41:30,560.197 --> 00:41:33,290.197 We also don't have a timer, so I have no idea how long this has been going. 572 00:41:33,580.197 --> 00:41:35,470.197 I noticed that too, but thanks guys. 573 00:41:36,20.197 --> 00:41:38,170.197 Is our own sexuality journey. 574 00:41:39,15.197 --> 00:41:43,35.197 Do you want me to kick it off? You want to kick it off? I'll kick it off. 575 00:41:43,295.197 --> 00:41:43,645.197 Okay. 576 00:41:43,695.197 --> 00:41:45,195.197 Cause you, you, you got more to talk about. 577 00:41:46,265.197 --> 00:41:47,175.197 Just a little bit. 578 00:41:47,175.197 --> 00:41:48,55.196 It's not a surprise. 579 00:41:49,635.196 --> 00:41:53,835.198 So I grew up in Wyoming, very conservative, small town where you're straight. 580 00:41:54,445.197 --> 00:41:57,775.198 And if you have any ideas of not being straight, they send you to church. 581 00:41:58,145.198 --> 00:42:00,75.198 And so I, or it's a phase. 582 00:42:01,415.198 --> 00:42:02,595.198 As you'll grow out of girls. 583 00:42:02,755.198 --> 00:42:03,5.198 Yeah. 584 00:42:03,145.198 --> 00:42:05,295.198 And then you'll just watch lesbian porn. 585 00:42:05,605.198 --> 00:42:09,995.198 Anyways, I was always somebody that like, I obviously liked boys. 586 00:42:10,115.198 --> 00:42:12,455.198 But girls were so pretty, girls were so soft. 587 00:42:12,465.198 --> 00:42:13,415.198 They were so sweet. 588 00:42:13,435.198 --> 00:42:16,665.198 Most girls, some girls were really mean, but most girls were sweet. 589 00:42:16,685.198 --> 00:42:17,685.198 Their skin was soft. 590 00:42:17,685.198 --> 00:42:21,735.198 Like, and I always wanted to be the girl that was dared at parties to kiss a girl, cause I'll do it. 591 00:42:22,785.198 --> 00:42:24,145.198 You don't have to dare me twice. 592 00:42:24,655.198 --> 00:42:28,365.198 So I always knew that I was, I was into women, but I didn't know how to explore that. 593 00:42:28,365.198 --> 00:42:28,905.098 I didn't have any. 594 00:42:29,45.198 --> 00:42:29,815.198 any resources. 595 00:42:29,815.198 --> 00:42:31,675.198 I didn't have anyone to talk to about that. 596 00:42:32,215.198 --> 00:42:35,865.198 And so I didn't do anything about it until I was about 25. 597 00:42:36,145.198 --> 00:42:44,815.198 And I had actually done a yoga teacher training and the yoga teacher and I liked each other and she was a super cutie like yoga. 598 00:42:45,320.198 --> 00:42:46,470.198 Yogi's are hot. 599 00:42:47,60.198 --> 00:42:48,90.198 Hi Tabby, no name. 600 00:42:49,880.198 --> 00:42:50,960.198 Yogi's are hot though. 601 00:42:51,170.198 --> 00:43:02,240.198 And that is when I had my first experience with a woman and I, I did realize it wasn't the, the safest experience for me to explore in, but I did find that I did truly enjoy being around women. 602 00:43:02,530.197 --> 00:43:03,950.197 And I leaned into that a little bit. 603 00:43:04,515.197 --> 00:43:18,890.097 I still, I think I went on like a date with a woman at one point, and I didn't know how to date her, like I don't know how to flirt with women, I've been friends with girls my whole life, but I don't know how to seal the deal past like kissing and so I didn't really know how to explain it. 604 00:43:19,350.197 --> 00:43:30,20.197 And then with Sunny, I think within like, he knew I had a crush on one of my co workers and within like the first three months we had like a threesome and stuff and, and that was really wonderful. 605 00:43:30,520.197 --> 00:43:36,20.196 But after that I had a really hard time finding women that I connected with and I actually was kind of confused. 606 00:43:36,60.196 --> 00:43:43,680.197 Like I had moments of like, am I truly into women? Or is this just like a situational thing? And I found that I absolutely love women. 607 00:43:43,900.197 --> 00:43:47,850.197 But I love women that I can feel safe with and it's like, that is a safety. 608 00:43:49,270.197 --> 00:43:51,260.197 That's a really do not like your hoochie on camera. 609 00:43:51,680.197 --> 00:43:56,170.197 But that's a really big thing for me is like women that I can truly be off on. 610 00:43:56,320.197 --> 00:44:00,700.198 Like I, I don't have to pretend to be something I can be vulnerable with. 611 00:44:00,700.298 --> 00:44:02,610.198 I, I don't know. 612 00:44:02,610.198 --> 00:44:09,820.198 And I've, I've learned that I, I've stepped into more of a dominating role with women because sleeping with women can be incredibly confusing. 613 00:44:09,820.198 --> 00:44:11,170.198 Well, they're traditionally both. 614 00:44:11,545.198 --> 00:44:12,825.198 I'm just used to being submissive. 615 00:44:12,825.198 --> 00:44:25,95.197 So yeah, you're like rolling around, not sure what to do and when is it over? And you're like, there was one time that like, I was on top of Sunny, there was another girl on top of Sunny and we're like choking each other out. 616 00:44:25,95.197 --> 00:44:27,435.198 And it's the most confusing thing to watch. 617 00:44:27,435.198 --> 00:44:41,705.198 And I was like, why are we doing this? And so from that moment, I really, and when I learned to step into my dominating power, I did take the role as the more dominating woman in the relationships with women because I, I don't want them to be confused. 618 00:44:41,945.197 --> 00:44:43,985.198 Mommy wants to lead the scene. 619 00:44:43,995.198 --> 00:44:45,245.197 Mommy wants to take care of you. 620 00:44:45,245.199 --> 00:44:52,795.198 And so it's really big for me that when I am with a woman but I learned her body, like I talked to her, we take things really, really slow. 621 00:44:52,795.198 --> 00:45:01,655.197 I ask her, like, if I have a vibrator, I will hand it to her and tell her to show me what feels good because I don't want to be with women and have experiences faked. 622 00:45:01,775.198 --> 00:45:01,965.198 Yeah. 623 00:45:02,265.198 --> 00:45:06,365.197 Which is also good to do with your heterosexual partner relationship as well. 624 00:45:06,615.198 --> 00:45:06,805.198 Yes. 625 00:45:06,855.198 --> 00:45:07,395.197 Not just. 626 00:45:07,395.297 --> 00:45:07,455.098 Yes. 627 00:45:07,455.198 --> 00:45:09,815.198 Ask your partner what they truly like. 628 00:45:09,855.198 --> 00:45:11,905.198 Everybody's, everybody's pussies are different. 629 00:45:12,5.198 --> 00:45:12,235.198 Yeah. 630 00:45:12,345.198 --> 00:45:13,315.198 And I took it. 631 00:45:13,645.198 --> 00:45:27,355.198 as a really big, like, responsibility to give women loving sensations without this goal orientation around orgasm, because there's so much pressure for women and men, but women to come, that we fake it so much. 632 00:45:27,375.198 --> 00:45:31,615.197 And I'm sorry, but I know when you're faking an orgasm, because I know what a real orgasm looks like. 633 00:45:31,615.197 --> 00:45:32,255.198 I have them. 634 00:45:33,365.198 --> 00:45:37,555.198 And I don't want you to ever have to feel like you can't be honest. 635 00:45:37,755.198 --> 00:45:39,925.197 And if you're not going to come, that's also okay. 636 00:45:40,55.198 --> 00:45:47,625.198 Like I just want you to be loved and held in that space and maybe explore something new and also have space to learn. 637 00:45:47,635.198 --> 00:45:56,215.198 Like I've given a strap on to many women now who've never put one on and I'm so excited to teach them and just be a safe space to be curious and fun together. 638 00:45:56,225.198 --> 00:46:00,915.198 So I would say that I am bisexual, but I'm very much a demisexual. 639 00:46:00,945.198 --> 00:46:04,245.198 Like it is important for me to have safety and connection with anybody. 640 00:46:04,320.198 --> 00:46:09,320.198 I'm not, not into one night stands anymore, except for the one guy that we had a one night stand with. 641 00:46:09,670.198 --> 00:46:09,970.198 Yeah. 642 00:46:09,970.198 --> 00:46:12,10.198 We'll tell that that's a whole episode. 643 00:46:12,290.198 --> 00:46:19,130.198 But yeah, I, I, I do think that sums you up really, really well. 644 00:46:19,130.198 --> 00:46:28,190.198 And I think one thing that probably, I guess it's relationship dynamic, but also like We don't like date other people per se. 645 00:46:28,210.198 --> 00:46:33,200.198 We don't, there are two women I would date right now, but we, we don't. 646 00:46:33,210.198 --> 00:46:35,930.198 And I definitely do not see myself dating another man. 647 00:46:36,190.198 --> 00:46:46,370.198 But women, like I absolutely love flirting with women and chatting and connecting, but dating itself is an incredibly hard thing to do with the involvement that we have in our own relationship right now. 648 00:46:46,400.198 --> 00:46:46,660.198 Yeah. 649 00:46:46,660.198 --> 00:46:50,240.198 So like by bisexual, demisexual play. 650 00:46:51,350.198 --> 00:46:52,270.198 Like ethical play. 651 00:46:52,280.198 --> 00:46:53,80.198 Yeah, ethical play. 652 00:46:53,440.198 --> 00:46:53,670.198 Yeah. 653 00:46:53,710.198 --> 00:46:54,960.198 With, with friends, always. 654 00:46:55,140.198 --> 00:46:56,190.098 Mm hmm. 655 00:46:57,70.198 --> 00:46:57,600.198 Okay, my turn. 656 00:46:58,30.198 --> 00:46:58,360.198 Your turn. 657 00:46:58,850.198 --> 00:47:30,940.198 Yeah, so, I mean, this, this kind of rolls right into the whole, you know, Be a man all of that like growing up like yeah, you're interested in girls, you know, I had posters of girls in bikinis in my bedroom when I was in like middle school in high school like Yeah, and I very was very much was attracted to women but there was Always kind of this little, like, what, what are, what are guys like, you know, like, and that was just something I pushed down, like, no way. 658 00:47:30,950.198 --> 00:47:42,560.198 Like, and especially getting into relationships where I was interested in anal play and pegging is just, you know, being thought that you're a gay, like just completely off the table, but yeah, always interested. 659 00:47:42,560.198 --> 00:47:50,995.198 Like I, I never, Have like watched gay porn or anything like that predominantly but like when when I enjoy intimacy I enjoy all of it. 660 00:47:51,65.198 --> 00:48:05,195.198 Like I am not just like all boobs and butt and pussy or whatever But like I yeah, like I like seeing a big strong like good looking man Yeah, yeah, and i've always felt that way That's one thing we do that. 661 00:48:05,195.198 --> 00:48:08,950.198 I love when we're you know, like in public and we'll be like Look at that guy. 662 00:48:09,25.198 --> 00:48:31,450.198 Him's a cutie yeah, yeah, so yeah, it's something that I really had to allow myself to Understand and explore and it's something that we have been able to explore together Which has been even even better like we you know, we dated a man early on in our relationship Hi, Sam. 663 00:48:31,480.198 --> 00:48:31,870.198 Hi Sam. 664 00:48:31,870.198 --> 00:48:43,120.198 I love you And, and, and, and that was part of why we, you know, we realized that we, we necessarily were, we're both bisexual, but, you know, couldn't necessarily date the opposite sex. 665 00:48:43,120.198 --> 00:48:43,121.198 Yeah. 666 00:48:43,126.198 --> 00:48:43,735.198 We were not polyamorous. 667 00:48:43,840.198 --> 00:48:44,410.198 Yeah. 668 00:48:44,410.198 --> 00:48:48,160.198 And but yeah, I, I, I remember even having a, a really deep conversation. 669 00:48:48,160.198 --> 00:48:49,930.198 I'm just like, I don't know what this is. 670 00:48:49,930.198 --> 00:48:53,980.198 I'm very open to exploring it and, and creating a space to do that. 671 00:48:54,440.198 --> 00:48:56,600.198 And, and it's just been really cool to be able to do that. 672 00:48:56,600.198 --> 00:48:57,325.198 Like, I, I. 673 00:48:57,975.198 --> 00:48:58,275.198 I don't know. 674 00:48:58,275.198 --> 00:49:04,545.198 There's just something about like a man, like, and, and I've been on both sides of it too, like dominant and submissive. 675 00:49:04,545.198 --> 00:49:06,815.198 I think that's something I'm still figuring out. 676 00:49:06,815.198 --> 00:49:14,455.1975 Like if I do want to always fall into a certain role, but now that I'm like, kind of switchy, I'm like, why? Like, you don't have to, like, that is the thing. 677 00:49:14,455.1975 --> 00:49:15,525.197 Like if you want to, sure. 678 00:49:15,525.197 --> 00:49:18,155.198 But you don't have to, to pick one side or another. 679 00:49:18,475.198 --> 00:49:19,375.198 No, no. 680 00:49:19,375.298 --> 00:49:20,755.198 I would both be the greedy little slut. 681 00:49:21,355.198 --> 00:49:21,895.198 Yeah. 682 00:49:21,945.198 --> 00:49:22,105.198 Yeah. 683 00:49:22,105.198 --> 00:49:23,785.198 We can talk about that part of me later. 684 00:49:24,995.198 --> 00:49:26,680.098 In the bedroom when we're done. 685 00:49:26,910.198 --> 00:49:36,770.197 But, but yeah, I, I, you know, my journey has been very recent when it comes to my exploration with males and bisexuality. 686 00:49:36,770.197 --> 00:49:40,920.198 Like I would consider myself bisexual and demisexual as well. 687 00:49:40,920.198 --> 00:49:45,330.198 Like I, you know, never was able to just hook up with women. 688 00:49:45,330.2 --> 00:50:09,283.599 I've had like maybe three one night stands in my entire life in the same, Is true for the opposite sex like I want to get to know some I think I mean actually even more picky with men Yeah, I think me too Yeah, yeah, so like I you know and you have like sunny has not played with a guy solo No, yeah, like it has only ever been in group play like with me there Yeah. 689 00:50:09,283.599 --> 00:50:13,225.199 And obviously that's something that I encourage and I want him to explore if he wants. 690 00:50:13,475.199 --> 00:50:14,845.199 And I think I'm in the same boat. 691 00:50:14,855.199 --> 00:50:20,345.198 Like two men that are used to being dominant and also like having just not played with men a lot. 692 00:50:20,345.199 --> 00:50:21,535.198 I'd be like, I don't know what I'm going to do. 693 00:50:21,545.198 --> 00:50:25,915.199 How long do I do this for? Like, you know? I mean, it's easier to know when a guy's done. 694 00:50:26,95.2 --> 00:50:28,45.199 Yes, it is easier to know. 695 00:50:28,395.199 --> 00:50:30,15.199 Yes, it is a lot easier. 696 00:50:30,15.199 --> 00:50:31,405.199 But yeah, it's kind of the same boat. 697 00:50:31,415.199 --> 00:50:35,465.199 Like I am still very much figuring out what this is because of. 698 00:50:35,730.199 --> 00:50:42,830.199 You know, I have more history of not allowing myself to think about this or understand it or be okay with it. 699 00:50:43,60.199 --> 00:50:47,890.199 And, and so it is very new, but yeah, I would consider myself, like, bisexual, demisexual. 700 00:50:47,890.299 --> 00:50:49,820.199 Like, I need that relationship. 701 00:50:49,820.199 --> 00:50:51,650.198 I need to know people, you know. 702 00:50:51,660.199 --> 00:50:53,850.199 I need to see more than just your body. 703 00:50:53,850.199 --> 00:50:55,775.199 I need to see Who you are. 704 00:50:56,455.199 --> 00:51:04,5.199 Do you think that I, I think in a society, like we hypersexualize women so much that We have made it a little bit more. 705 00:51:04,5.199 --> 00:51:04,335.199 Okay. 706 00:51:04,335.199 --> 00:51:11,275.2 There's still a lot of shame around it But a little bit more okay for women to be bisexual And men like this is just such a gray area. 707 00:51:11,285.198 --> 00:51:27,145.099 Like there's not a lot of awareness for this there's so much shame around this we get So much shame and I want to just acknowledge the strength that you have with this How many people are constantly coming at us? Because it's not an easy thing to be able to put up a bubble and protect it. 708 00:51:27,515.099 --> 00:51:39,495.198 But do you feel that being a bisexual man, like, is that hard with friends that are not bisexual? Yeah, I think it is hard to navigate I think it's much more hard to navigate. 709 00:51:39,675.198 --> 00:51:40,525.198 I will say that. 710 00:51:40,535.198 --> 00:51:44,145.198 Like I've, I've seen you just kiss friends that you would never sleep with, like girlfriends. 711 00:51:44,145.198 --> 00:51:46,195.198 You're just like, and it's okay, totally cool. 712 00:51:46,195.198 --> 00:51:50,185.197 And even if you were like, Hey, I'm really interested to be like, no, you know, and it'd just be fine. 713 00:51:50,515.197 --> 00:51:52,85.198 Like it would be totally okay. 714 00:51:52,85.198 --> 00:51:58,145.198 I, like, I do think there is You know, like a little bit of an imbalance when it comes to just what's okay. 715 00:51:58,145.198 --> 00:51:58,335.198 Yeah. 716 00:51:58,335.198 --> 00:52:06,565.198 I'm, you know, if I want, if I had a friend that I like wanted to kiss or something, I would probably never bring it up because that would just be like done. 717 00:52:06,805.197 --> 00:52:10,795.197 Well, and also just out of fear of your own physical safety sometimes as well. 718 00:52:10,835.198 --> 00:52:11,455.1975 Oh gosh. 719 00:52:11,455.1975 --> 00:52:11,705.197 Yeah. 720 00:52:11,705.197 --> 00:52:12,25.197 Yeah. 721 00:52:12,375.197 --> 00:52:16,265.198 Even that is something I haven't experienced in person, but yeah, it's terrifying. 722 00:52:16,470.198 --> 00:52:21,870.198 To think that someone would actually act physically like in such a a violent way, potentially. 723 00:52:21,880.198 --> 00:52:24,140.198 Yeah, out of fear or threatening or whatever it is. 724 00:52:24,300.198 --> 00:52:24,400.198 Yeah. 725 00:52:24,670.198 --> 00:52:34,550.198 And there's also so many, and I, I get this with girlfriends, like actual just platonic friends, of me being bisexual does not mean I want to do anything with you. 726 00:52:34,550.198 --> 00:52:36,850.198 That does not mean that I want to sleep with you. 727 00:52:36,850.198 --> 00:52:38,620.198 That does not mean that I'm attracted to you. 728 00:52:38,630.198 --> 00:52:38,870.198 No. 729 00:52:38,910.198 --> 00:52:44,130.198 It means that we're friends and I'm a bisexual, But those two things don't go together. 730 00:52:44,580.198 --> 00:52:44,930.198 Yeah. 731 00:52:44,940.198 --> 00:52:47,710.198 It does not need to affect our friendship at all. 732 00:52:48,180.198 --> 00:52:48,660.198 No, no. 733 00:52:48,660.198 --> 00:52:58,430.098 And I think, I guess like, Friends that I have that are content creators, that are adult content creators, Absolutely, I think that's, that's important. 734 00:52:58,640.198 --> 00:52:59,220.198 Way more. 735 00:52:59,220.198 --> 00:53:03,20.198 Okay, like they're just more well versed secure in their sexuality. 736 00:53:03,210.198 --> 00:53:03,710.198 It's a boundary. 737 00:53:03,710.198 --> 00:53:09,200.198 They can just say like, hey, it's okay I'm heterosexual like no playing during this playtime and it's great. 738 00:53:09,210.198 --> 00:53:10,870.198 Like there's no confusion with that. 739 00:53:11,130.198 --> 00:53:20,60.198 Yeah, but with guys There's just like this Will you get pegged and now you're like guys does that mean you're gonna try to do something with me if we go and get? A beer. 740 00:53:20,150.198 --> 00:53:20,560.198 Mm hmm. 741 00:53:20,580.198 --> 00:53:20,910.198 Yeah. 742 00:53:20,910.198 --> 00:53:21,190.198 Yeah. 743 00:53:21,220.198 --> 00:53:21,440.198 Yeah. 744 00:53:21,440.198 --> 00:53:25,430.198 No, so I would say yeah, it's it's definitely Different. 745 00:53:25,890.198 --> 00:53:27,200.197 Yeah for for me. 746 00:53:27,200.297 --> 00:53:27,850.198 Yeah Yeah. 747 00:53:28,0.198 --> 00:53:30,920.198 I think it's really brave that you talked about this on the internet. 748 00:53:31,70.198 --> 00:53:31,720.198 Thanks baby. 749 00:53:31,850.198 --> 00:53:32,460.198 I love you. 750 00:53:32,680.198 --> 00:53:32,950.198 Yeah. 751 00:53:33,790.198 --> 00:53:34,390.198 I love you too. 752 00:53:34,390.298 --> 00:53:35,65.098 I know. 753 00:53:38,245.198 --> 00:53:40,405.198 Anything else you'd like to add? I don't think so. 754 00:53:40,425.198 --> 00:53:43,735.198 I'm sure I'm going to think of so many things when I re watch this, but not right now. 755 00:53:43,785.198 --> 00:53:58,155.198 Yeah, I do just want to say like we have an incredible support group with you guys, like being able to explore our power dynamics, being able to explore our sexuality in such a safe way, like we know the internet's not safe. 756 00:53:58,155.198 --> 00:54:04,315.098 We're not blind to the comments that we get but the support and love that we do get from our friends online, it's amazing. 757 00:54:04,325.198 --> 00:54:09,185.198 Has really helped us to just also feel safe in exploring this together. 758 00:54:09,215.198 --> 00:54:16,625.197 Like, I just want to say thank you for your kindness and thank you for your own vulnerability and your own curiosity. 759 00:54:16,635.197 --> 00:54:29,55.197 Like, I can't tell you how many people come to us and just thank us for sharing because it gives them a little bit of confidence to maybe explore some things with their partner or to lean into their own curiosities without as much shame. 760 00:54:29,435.197 --> 00:54:29,845.197 Yeah. 761 00:54:29,875.197 --> 00:54:30,735.197 Thank you so much. 762 00:54:30,765.197 --> 00:54:31,645.196 Like it's. 763 00:54:32,565.197 --> 00:54:43,995.1965 Something that has gotten a little easier, but it would not, you know, we would not share what we share without your support and just your cheerleading. 764 00:54:43,995.1965 --> 00:54:44,975.197 So thank you so much. 765 00:54:45,155.197 --> 00:54:47,35.197 Yeah, so we're cheering you, you're cheering us. 766 00:54:47,335.197 --> 00:54:48,585.197 It's a big cheer orgy. 767 00:54:49,995.196 --> 00:54:53,415.197 Yeah, that's a VHS tape from the 80s probably. 768 00:54:55,645.197 --> 00:54:56,505.197 Alright, last topic. 769 00:54:56,505.197 --> 00:54:58,115.197 How to talk to your partner about sex. 770 00:54:58,345.197 --> 00:55:01,585.197 This is an incredibly, incredibly common question that we get. 771 00:55:01,865.196 --> 00:55:08,955.197 And one thing that we always ask is like, what is your dialogue currently around sex conversations? Yeah, yeah. 772 00:55:08,995.197 --> 00:55:17,805.196 Where are you at? Like, you know, I think a lot of people come in You know, so interested in a specific thing like pegging or threesomes or whatever. 773 00:55:17,835.196 --> 00:55:31,165.196 And we oftentimes have to roll it back a little and just say, Hey, like, tell me about your current sexual relationship and your communication around sex, because bringing up new topics. 774 00:55:31,785.196 --> 00:55:35,275.196 requires to already have had a dialogue going. 775 00:55:35,315.196 --> 00:55:35,495.196 Yeah. 776 00:55:35,655.196 --> 00:55:48,55.196 You can't bring up a threesome if you've never talked to your partner about sex in general with them, let alone now with a third person and, and expect them to feel secure enough in that conversation and not run away thinking you just want to leave them. 777 00:55:48,175.195 --> 00:55:49,245.195 Yeah, yeah, exactly. 778 00:55:49,245.195 --> 00:55:54,505.196 So, yeah, I mean, one of the, That's, that's what we usually ask is like, do you talk to your partner about sex? Okay. 779 00:55:54,815.196 --> 00:56:00,795.196 And if, if you, if you don't like here is a good way to do it because it's something that's hard to start. 780 00:56:00,855.195 --> 00:56:02,875.196 Like it, it can be abrupt. 781 00:56:02,885.196 --> 00:56:07,485.195 It can, you know, I think some people can be like, well, why do we need to talk about our sex is something wrong. 782 00:56:07,845.296 --> 00:56:21,955.196 I thought we liked our sex, like we have our sex There's a lot of insecurity around this, and that's not to say that it's insecurity in your relationship, it's insecurity in society around such a topic like this, because we've never with anybody talked about sex. 783 00:56:22,205.196 --> 00:56:28,775.197 And now we're just expected to have healthy conversations around sex with our partner when we've never been taught how to have a healthy conversation in general. 784 00:56:28,805.197 --> 00:56:29,15.197 Yeah. 785 00:56:29,375.197 --> 00:56:47,765.197 And so I think really easy ways to start with this is when you guys are done being intimate, Aftercare is a big thing, like laying in bed together and asking like, or even just like Validating like, oh my gosh, I felt so good when you did this, or how did you like it when I did this? Starting the dialogue in a safe space. 786 00:56:48,745.197 --> 00:56:56,785.197 Maybe not critiquing or doing anything like that in those moments until you guys are really secure with that and not bringing up new things. 787 00:56:57,225.197 --> 00:56:58,905.197 Before or after sex. 788 00:56:58,905.197 --> 00:57:00,555.197 Those are not the times to do that. 789 00:57:00,555.197 --> 00:57:09,655.197 It's more just to get that dialogue and to like start to work that muscle of being okay talking about specific things. 790 00:57:09,655.197 --> 00:57:14,770.197 And then, you know, taking, taking that and, you know, Maybe. 791 00:57:15,200.197 --> 00:57:20,180.197 You're seeing each other after work and you're just like, Hey, I've been like thinking about that thing we did the other night. 792 00:57:20,180.197 --> 00:57:23,60.197 And it like made me think about this, you know, or something like that. 793 00:57:23,60.197 --> 00:57:26,940.197 And starting to work some of that talk outside the bedroom. 794 00:57:26,940.197 --> 00:57:29,730.197 But I think aftercare is a perfect place to start. 795 00:57:29,730.197 --> 00:57:30,690.197 It is natural. 796 00:57:30,910.196 --> 00:57:32,600.196 You've, you're already in that. 797 00:57:32,620.197 --> 00:57:33,310.197 that space. 798 00:57:33,320.197 --> 00:57:34,860.197 You're already both vulnerable. 799 00:57:35,110.197 --> 00:57:36,240.197 You're kind of blissed out a little. 800 00:57:36,510.197 --> 00:57:37,740.197 So, you know, you're in a good mood. 801 00:57:37,750.197 --> 00:57:38,880.197 Talk about what felt good. 802 00:57:38,880.197 --> 00:57:40,280.197 Just bring it up slowly. 803 00:57:40,280.197 --> 00:57:41,930.197 If it's a really scary thing. 804 00:57:42,300.197 --> 00:57:51,380.1975 Another thing that you guys can easily do together based on the comfortability with your partner is talk about like what kind of porn you guys would want to watch together. 805 00:57:51,380.1975 --> 00:57:52,210.197 I know that there are some. 806 00:57:52,335.197 --> 00:58:08,795.196 There's a lot of people out there that think porn is a really bad thing, and I do think that it can be at times with overproduced porn, but there is a lot of ethical amateur stuff out there that you guys can explore together, and a really fun thing you can do is just go to like your favorite site and just start at A. 807 00:58:09,100.197 --> 00:58:11,500.197 And just start going down categories and be like, Together. 808 00:58:11,510.197 --> 00:58:12,220.197 Do this together. 809 00:58:13,80.197 --> 00:58:13,710.197 Do this together. 810 00:58:13,720.197 --> 00:58:27,460.197 It's a good thing to do on your own if you're trying to figure out what you like, but together this can be a really fun way to be like, Okay, what do I like anal? Okay, what about BDSM bondage? Well, and just like, I think an important thing too is, You know, you're going to click on the category. 811 00:58:27,460.197 --> 00:58:28,420.197 It's going to be a crapshoot. 812 00:58:28,450.197 --> 00:58:30,940.197 Like look through a lot of it. 813 00:58:30,940.197 --> 00:58:35,70.197 Not just like there's a dungeon don't like anal, don't like move on. 814 00:58:35,240.197 --> 00:58:37,160.197 And feel free to laugh at it. 815 00:58:37,170.197 --> 00:58:38,900.197 Like make it a lighthearted thing. 816 00:58:38,900.197 --> 00:58:41,740.196 Put it on your big screen hack, like have a good time with it. 817 00:58:42,50.197 --> 00:58:46,490.197 But this is a fun way to open up the dialogue around it is make it. 818 00:58:46,750.197 --> 00:58:49,690.197 Humorous, make it a vulnerable, silly thing. 819 00:58:50,50.197 --> 00:58:50,390.197 Yeah. 820 00:58:50,410.197 --> 00:59:07,50.197 I think, I think one really important thing though, when, when watching porn together is to make sure that whatever you like or whatever you identify with, that you are very clear about identifying with the, the act or what is happening and not the people that are doing it. 821 00:59:07,230.197 --> 00:59:16,210.197 Cause watching porn can, can really bring up some in, in insecurities around like, well, Of course you want to do that with that person. 822 00:59:16,210.197 --> 00:59:16,710.197 They're beautiful. 823 00:59:16,710.197 --> 00:59:17,360.197 They're not me. 824 00:59:17,390.197 --> 00:59:28,910.197 I don't have that I don't look like that so I would be very Very intentional about like talking about the acts like I want to do this to you because it looks like it feels good for us Yes, not with the person. 825 00:59:28,940.197 --> 00:59:30,970.196 Yeah, really focusing it on everything. 826 00:59:30,970.196 --> 00:59:48,820.197 That's a good point At least in the beginning then you can fantasize about you know other things Yeah, but in the beginning that is that that is a very a very important thing and it can it can just it can Turn very quickly into like, of course you want to do this because it's that person and I'm not that person. 827 00:59:48,890.197 --> 00:59:57,500.197 So creating a safe space and like also like when you are bringing up things like watching porn together, making sure your partner knows, like if at any point you're uncomfortable, we'll stop this. 828 00:59:57,960.197 --> 00:59:59,210.197 Like there's no pressure. 829 00:59:59,220.196 --> 00:59:59,890.196 There's no guilt. 830 00:59:59,890.196 --> 01:00:01,790.197 This is just supposed to be a fun way to explore. 831 01:00:01,810.197 --> 01:00:02,50.197 Yeah. 832 01:00:02,50.197 --> 01:00:03,430.197 I wouldn't do it for hours and hours. 833 01:00:03,500.197 --> 01:00:06,980.197 Like, don't go A to Z, you know, just like one day. 834 01:00:07,50.197 --> 01:00:07,590.197 Yeah. 835 01:00:07,720.197 --> 01:00:07,980.197 Yeah. 836 01:00:08,250.197 --> 01:00:08,550.197 Yeah. 837 01:00:08,550.197 --> 01:00:23,420.197 And I think like, Some of the most important things, and they are just more like foundational communication things, is like, know your audience, know who you're talking to, and what's going on with them. 838 01:00:23,745.197 --> 01:00:40,165.196 You know, when you're trying to talk to them, like stress on a resourcing, like kids, like, like, don't, you know, again, if, if, if someone's having a bad day, like this is not the time to start to try to start a dialogue like that, or to jump into a dialogue. 839 01:00:40,175.197 --> 01:00:40,395.197 No. 840 01:00:40,395.197 --> 01:00:40,645.197 Yeah. 841 01:00:40,645.197 --> 01:00:46,665.197 That takes a whole lot of other foundational building at that point to ensure that both of you are feeling resourced and supported. 842 01:00:47,65.197 --> 01:00:49,625.197 And then you can dive into these intimate conversations. 843 01:00:50,580.197 --> 01:00:54,230.197 Nobody owes anybody anything just because of the type of relationship you're in. 844 01:00:54,240.197 --> 01:00:56,650.197 Everybody is working through some things. 845 01:00:56,910.197 --> 01:01:00,330.197 And it's really important to check in with your partner and see how they're doing. 846 01:01:00,790.197 --> 01:01:02,800.196 And, and know how they're doing. 847 01:01:02,800.196 --> 01:01:07,920.197 Like, I have a lot of people that come in and say, Well, my partner, she doesn't want to have sex with me. 848 01:01:07,920.197 --> 01:01:09,230.196 We haven't had sex in a month. 849 01:01:09,510.196 --> 01:01:12,220.196 And I'll ask him, How's your partner doing? And he's like, I don't know. 850 01:01:12,415.297 --> 01:01:23,725.197 And so just get, get in tune with your partner, talk to them, like build a foundation around communication in general, and then start building a foundation around intimacy. 851 01:01:24,45.196 --> 01:01:28,45.196 And if that still feels scary there's a resource on our page under advice. 852 01:01:28,45.196 --> 01:01:33,485.197 Again, it's called carnal calibration, and this is a free sex test that you can do with your partner. 853 01:01:33,695.197 --> 01:01:36,355.197 This can be a fun way to start the conversation as well. 854 01:01:36,365.197 --> 01:01:38,145.197 It can be a fun way to learn about each other. 855 01:01:38,145.197 --> 01:01:39,245.197 It can be a fun way. 856 01:01:39,540.197 --> 01:01:43,180.197 To see if maybe your partner's into something that you're scared to bring up. 857 01:01:43,290.197 --> 01:01:50,840.197 It goes from everything from aftercare to cuddling to knife play and everything in between kind of things. 858 01:01:50,850.197 --> 01:01:57,30.198 So you get to really learn the ins and outs and can be a fun way to explore new things together as well. 859 01:01:57,360.197 --> 01:02:01,260.197 And it might be a way that you learn things about your partner as well that you might not know. 860 01:02:01,715.197 --> 01:02:11,555.097 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I, I, that one, that one is a really good one, and it, and it can just, it, the best thing is it doesn't show you things that you, you know, one person is interested in that the other one isn't. 861 01:02:11,555.197 --> 01:02:12,545.197 It will if you want it to. 862 01:02:12,755.196 --> 01:02:13,415.197 It will, okay. 863 01:02:13,415.197 --> 01:02:14,165.197 You both have to agree to it, though. 864 01:02:14,185.197 --> 01:02:15,65.196 Yeah, yeah. 865 01:02:15,235.197 --> 01:02:15,595.197 But, yeah. 866 01:02:15,665.197 --> 01:02:34,335.197 Yeah, but I, I, I do think, like, with these conversations you know, once you move past, once you're comfortable talking, Talking about sex, like once you get in there and, and have that aftercare conversations and you're comfortable, you know, bringing things up, like make sure, you know, it's always. 867 01:02:35,285.197 --> 01:03:00,770.197 Approached with just again that safety like whatever you say to this is gonna be okay like the fear of no Should not be on your mind like ego does not come into the bedroom No and into these conversations and and allow space for I don't know You know, like, like, it can be hard for someone to answer a question about sex that you, they, they don't know about, you know, they, they need to think about it. 868 01:03:00,780.197 --> 01:03:05,880.197 They need to understand it and they need to be able to have the space to come back to it. 869 01:03:06,10.197 --> 01:03:20,430.196 So I think like when you're approaching this, like it is important to just have all of that in mind, you know, that this might not, you might not get a yes or a no right away, you know, and it might be something that, that. 870 01:03:20,715.197 --> 01:03:30,165.196 It takes a while, you know, it could take months, you know, and revisit like people are allowed to change their minds and in both directions is that you cannot. 871 01:03:30,795.197 --> 01:03:40,975.196 Have the mindset of how do I convince my partner to do something? Yeah, that's a that's a blog post Yeah, we have a lot of blog posts including how to talk to your partner about sex on sunny and Skye. 872 01:03:41,85.197 --> 01:04:05,125.197 com under blogs But a big one that we get is some people will come to our page and they're like How do I convince my wife to do anal play? You don't convince anybody to do anything sexist kink and sex is so much about enthusiastic consent That if it is not a yes or no It's a no and there's no implication, like you don't, there's no implied consent, there's no assuming and there's no convincing. 873 01:04:05,355.197 --> 01:04:09,755.197 If somebody is not full in, that means that they're not in and you cannot keep pushing. 874 01:04:09,765.197 --> 01:04:24,25.197 You can show interest, you can explain why you're interested, you can give space, but you cannot guilt and convince your partner to do something and potentially cause traumas and triggers and make them feel bad for having a boundary. 875 01:04:24,595.197 --> 01:04:24,895.197 Yeah. 876 01:04:25,200.197 --> 01:04:26,850.197 No, I, I, I fully agree. 877 01:04:26,880.197 --> 01:04:29,280.197 Yeah, you, you, you cannot approach it from that way. 878 01:04:29,280.197 --> 01:04:34,820.197 Like, there is no convincing your partner to, to do anything inside the bedroom or outside the bedroom. 879 01:04:35,180.197 --> 01:04:41,590.197 And, and you might be able to, like, if your partner's not into anal play, like, Let's say your partner is not into pegging, but you want to be pegged. 880 01:04:41,860.197 --> 01:04:51,980.197 You can say like, can I use toys on myself later? I'm going to explore this on myself kind of thing and not put that on her, but still be able to explore that on your own. 881 01:04:52,360.196 --> 01:05:02,370.197 And I know that that might not fill your, your pegging cup all the way up, but it's respecting your partner's boundaries and it's showing your partner that this is a safe space for them to say no. 882 01:05:02,610.197 --> 01:05:07,640.196 And to potentially evolve those things in the future, but that they feel safe to say no. 883 01:05:08,645.197 --> 01:05:09,585.197 Yeah, absolutely. 884 01:05:09,635.197 --> 01:05:15,535.197 So, yeah, I think when it, like, when it comes to how to talk to your partner about sex, it's Patience. 885 01:05:16,15.197 --> 01:05:22,145.197 It's slow, it's compassion, it's understanding, and then yeah, it's meeting them where they're at. 886 01:05:22,915.197 --> 01:05:28,535.196 Whether it comes to curiosities or exploration or even just being able to talk about sex at all. 887 01:05:29,365.196 --> 01:05:33,565.196 I think that's that's really what it is all about is just patience. 888 01:05:34,605.197 --> 01:05:38,705.197 We all all feel differently about sex and it's a very scary conversation. 889 01:05:38,980.197 --> 01:05:44,340.197 Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you might find that you, you know, you do have to do some, some pre work. 890 01:05:44,340.197 --> 01:06:00,550.1965 A lot of people have trauma around sex and, and they can't even talk about sex with you until, you know, they're able to really work through some of that trauma on their own and have a healthier relationship with sex, regardless of with it, who it's with. 891 01:06:00,550.1965 --> 01:06:08,65.197 High five! Pshh! Hehehehe Alright! So cool. 892 01:06:08,125.197 --> 01:06:08,665.197 We did it. 893 01:06:08,805.197 --> 01:06:12,15.197 I think, are you still here? Yeah, that's, I think that's enough. 894 01:06:14,855.197 --> 01:06:15,155.196 All right. 895 01:06:15,165.197 --> 01:06:17,285.197 Well, thank you guys for hanging out with us. 896 01:06:17,325.197 --> 01:06:21,555.197 Be sure to follow us here and on all of our socials as always. 897 01:06:21,575.197 --> 01:06:23,425.196 We connect only through only fans. 898 01:06:23,425.197 --> 01:06:28,745.197 So if you have any questions or you just want to connect and hang out, that's where you'll find us every single day. 899 01:06:29,265.197 --> 01:06:34,885.197 And I just want to say thank you for your curiosity, for your kinks and for being here with us. 900 01:06:35,295.197 --> 01:06:38,615.197 Yeah, thank you so much for hanging out and listening to us. 901 01:06:38,615.197 --> 01:06:41,745.197 We we can't thank you enough This is super fun. 902 01:06:41,835.197 --> 01:06:48,475.197 And and we're just so excited to keep going with it and and have you along for the ride Yeah, love you guys. 903 01:06:48,655.197 --> 01:06:49,125.196 Thank you. 904 01:06:49,425.196 --> 01:06:49,915.196 See you later.