The Pegging Episode: Personal Stories, Tips, and FAQs

Join us in this enlightening and silly episode where we dive into the fascinating world of pegging. We talk candidly about our first experience, explore what pegging means, and share practical tips for those who are curious or ready to try it. Get answers to common questions, learn about useful equipment, and understand the dynamics of power and trust in this intimate act. This episode emphasizes the importance of communication, trust, and breaking down societal stigmas, all while ensuring a pleasurable experience for both partners.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hi, kinky friends.
I'm Skye and I'm Sunny.
And this is the Aftercare podcast where we normalize the conversation around sex, love, kink, and everything in between.
And today we have a really exciting episode, one that I am really surprised we haven't done sooner.
We're gonna talk all about pegging, pegging, all the pegging, all of the pegging all of the time.
And today's also a really cool episode because we're gonna talk really briefly about how we got into it and what our first time was like.

(00:26):
But then we're just gonna kind of answer your questions.
I know this is something that is a really hot topic for us.
It's a really popular topic for a lot of people and it's still really taboo.
So I wanted to, we wanted to answer your questions, um, and cover a lot of those bases.
And then we're also gonna do a little giveaway.
Yeah.
We're gonna give you some stuff.
Yeah.
I think it's really important to start with what is pegging, um, and from a very just generalized.

(00:51):
Sense of breaking down the term.
If you Google it, it says something along the lines of a woman penetrating a male, a man's anus, a woman penetrating a man's anus with a strap on dildo.
Um, and I think obviously that's not a super inclusive definition, but in our dynamic that is what this is referring to as well, is myself sky wearing a strap on dildo and using it to penetrate sunny.

(01:18):
Yes.
That is how we do it in his bottom.
And I didn't need to add that at all.
Yeah, I, I love when we're pegging and you're like, take it in the bottom.
That's my bottom.
I do that.
Um, anyways, we're gonna talk about, right now, study's gonna talk about how we got into pegging.

(01:42):
Oh, this is such a fun one.
Um, so we were doing our aftercare after the first time.
I believe we was our first time of ex Exactly.
Had our lovely, intimate moment.
So three years ago.
About three years ago, and uh, you posed the question, how do you feel about anal? And I just, my brain was like, I'm curious about it.

(02:03):
I'd be open to it.
I'm a modern man.
And, uh, I didn't realize that you were actually talking about your ass, not mine.
Yeah.
I wanted it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, I don't know exactly how you followed up.
You might've been like, that's great, but what about me? Yeah.
I think you kind of were shocked by your own answer because Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(02:24):
You kind of told on yourself.
I did tell.
Which was great.
Yeah.
I did tell on myself, but it led to a really good conversation and it was really.
Um, awesome to do it so early on in our relationship, like it did feel very safe with you and it had been something I had been curious about for a long time.
But, and, and I know you didn't really seem like all that taken back by it.

(02:45):
No, it was something I wanted to explore with previous partners.
Um, it was something I definitely watched with porn and it was something that I just wanted to explore.
I know how much I love anal sex and just anal pleasure that I want to give it to other people.
Um, I was actually shamed a lot in my past relationships for even trying to bring it up.
There is just a lot of homophobia around it that I, I realized, um, that was really confusing to me, especially in a heteronormative relationship in my past.

(03:12):
Yeah.
That I didn't understand where all the shame was coming from and, and now I see it like the brunt force of it.
Mm-hmm.
And I understand it a little bit more unfortunately.
But yeah, I was really excited when you said that you wanted to explore it.
I remember you even showed me that you had like.
A butt plug in your little side table.
Yeah.
Um, next to like your fleshlight.

(03:32):
Yeah.
And some lube.
Yeah.
I was ready.
But we talked really early on about all of our fantasies, curiosities, desires, toys.
We showed each other porn we liked.
Yeah.
Like within the first week he was sending me a, like a really intense forced orgasm scene.
And I think I sent you some kind of like.
I don't know.
Bisexual threesome or something.

(03:53):
Yeah.
So, or it had something to do with, uh, high heels.
I dunno.
Oh, that one is a high heel on my ass.
We've done this twice now.
Um, but yeah, we opened that conversation really early on, and I think that is what makes our relationship really special, is that we open that door and we didn't let shame creep into it and we were really curious for each other.

(04:18):
And so when you said that you wanted to explore pegging, we bought a pegging, like a, a dildo training set, basically? Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We bought like a set of three.
They like started really skinny, um, and then got bigger and I think this was.
I don't know exactly when we actually bought a strap, but we bought these first.

(04:41):
I remember that.
I think we bought the strap with it.
Okay.
But we had the conversation around not using the strap until you were comfortable and at least on like the middle one.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
And so it, I remember you like taking them into the shower and you're like, I'll be right back.
Uhhuh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pro tip shower is a good place if you're starting out with anal play as a guy.

(05:02):
Um, just lube stay wet.
Things don't dry out.
Um, it's nice and warm and cozy.
If you make a mess, it's clean.
Yeah, exactly.
So highly recommend that.
But yeah, that's what I started to do, um, was before I expected you to be able to do anything to me, I wanted to make sure that I was able to do it to myself, um, for a few reasons.

(05:23):
One.
I never put a dildo in my ass, so I didn't necessarily wanna put the pressure on you of like, okay, I have no idea what this feels like for him, and I have no idea what it's gonna feel like for me.
And just like, well, and I can't even feel it.
Like literally, I can't even actually feel anything.
Even if it's in your hand, you can't feel it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can just feel like resistance.
So that was something I just kind of.

(05:45):
Decided to do my on my own and it worked out really well is just taking the time, um, by myself to actually figure out, okay, how long does it take me to get to warm up? Like, what is too fast? What is too hard? Um, how much lube? Things like that.
And just to have the space to do that without, you know, expecting you so that Then I can also tell you.

(06:07):
I can also help out.
Yeah.
We're learning together.
Mm-hmm.
And you have to guide me.
I have no idea what you like.
And I made a lot of just errors and mistakes along the way of going too deep, too quickly.
Mm-hmm.
Like, I, I've hurt you a handful of times, unfortunately, and I know what that feels like.
Mm-hmm.
Like, if anything, that is one reason you should explore having something in your bottom to have that empathy with your partner when you are doing something to them that you know, you need to go slow.

(06:30):
You need to work things up, you need to start small.
You need a lot of loop, and you need to like, reapply lube constantly.
Mm-hmm.
And those are just things that we had to learn on our own.
There are not a lot of great resources online for how to peg.
Mm-hmm.
So we started to make them.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we did.
And so I, I forget exactly how long we did that.
I wanna say, um, you know, leading up to our first time pegging, it was probably, I would say at least a month, maybe longer.

(06:57):
I don't remember.
It was, I don't know if it was that long.
Yeah.
Um, but I think it was, it was probably a couple of weeks.
Yeah.
It, it was a little bit and.
Um, yeah, so we just had some play sessions where you just held the dildo and, you know, you just played with me and we talked through it.
Um, and I kind of shared, you know, some of my solo experiences, not like in that moment, but like, after I had them I was like, Hey, I did this.

(07:22):
Like I learned this or this worked.
And, you know, we brought that into, um, the space together just to help inform that.
But when it comes to the, I mean, I remember the first time You do? Yeah.
I was so nervous.
Yeah.
Um, we got a beginner strap set, um, which is just like a nylon.

(07:45):
Mm-hmm.
And just.
Padded little strap, which is a great beginner set.
Um, peep show has an amazing beginner set as well that I'll actually link for everybody because I do think it's important before you spend a lot of money on the strap ons, like this strap on right here, I believe is almost $200.
Mm-hmm.
Um, before you spend a lot of money on a strap, get one, like get comfortable with it and make sure it's something that you wanna do.

(08:06):
Mm-hmm.
But I remember the strap because it just, it would rub constantly.
Um, but I put it on and, um, we were in your old apartment.
Yeah.
And I remember you just like, laid on your stomach, kind of prone.
And I got to just explore like what it was like to, to go into somebody, which is an incredibly powerful thing.

(08:26):
Like, I, I don't think that we put enough importance on how vulnerable and powerful it is to actually penetrate somebody.
Mm-hmm.
And I, I remember like having my hands on your back while starting to penetrate you, and I was just so.
Scared.
'cause also I didn't know how to thrust.
Mm-hmm.
And I didn't know how important it was to practice thrusting.
Yeah.
I had never thrusted in my life and so I, I remember just like going a little bit and getting so pumped out in my hips.

(08:52):
Um, and one of the most common like positions for pegging is like a guy on all fours or a guy on his stomach.
Um, and that is a super easy position for us.
One of my favorites though, is to flip you over, and that was kind of how we finished, was I've always given you like a hand job with it too.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
So it, it was me trying to wear something new, wear this silicone piece that I could not feel and make sure that it wasn't like fumbling or flapping out.

(09:19):
I constantly was falling out of you.
I do remember that like for the first year, I would fall out of you.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Um.
And then also trying to thrust at the same time while giving you a hand job.
And also like, look like I'm not a panting dog.
Yeah.
But the first time it didn't last very long, but it was amazing.
No, no excitement.

(09:40):
Definitely got the, the better of me.
And exhaustion.
Yeah.
And exhaustion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, and you're not like a, a pillow humper either, you know? That's not something so like, just that.
Well, some girls hump pillows to like Yeah, but that's not the same.
No, no.
Like chilling on a pillow is not the same as she's humping the air that way.

(10:00):
Those of you listening thrusting in and in a direction, like you can pillow hump in like the same spot.
Okay.
But you have to like thrust into somebody.
It's like a thrust and up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because my, my cock isn't like moving with me.
No.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it's, it's, I don't know.
We'll put a strap on on you later.
I mean, I had to learn how to hump at some point too.

(10:22):
I know, I know.
Yes.
Inherently you did.
Yeah.
I'm sorry whoever you were, all of you.
But I, it did teach me that when I needed to like practice on opening up my hips, there are times even now that I will get on like my all fours in kind of like the straddle frog position, and I'll set a timer and I will like fuck the floor and see how long I can go.

(10:47):
Because that ultimately is, is also gonna be the detriment of me, of if I get used so close to orgasm and I'm so pumped out.
'cause that's happened so many times too, where you like, don't stop faster.
And I'm like, oh my God.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Now you know what it's like, no, welcome.
It's like a minute is a long time.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But practice makes perfect.
Yeah.
So, yeah.

(11:08):
Yeah.
The, the, I think.
What I remember of the first time is that there just was a lot of talking too.
There was a lot of communication.
Like you were, um, you were constantly asking like, is this okay? Mm-hmm.
You know, and I was also, if there wasn't, you know, I could tell you were like a little bit focused, you know, it was like, that's good.
Like that feels good.

(11:29):
Or like, wait, hold on.
Or, you know, just little things like that.
And it didn't like break the moment at all.
It wasn't, no.
And I think that's really, it's really important when you are learning new things, especially in kink, like you have to be able to open that like fourth wall of conversating together.
Yeah.
Like, you cannot just watch a porno and expect to know how to do it.
Mm-hmm.
Because that is how people get hurt.

(11:49):
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
There's, there should be no grin and bearing.
Uh, when it comes to exploration, no.
You can get to the grin and bear it later if that's what you, where you want to take it, but not to start.
So, yeah.
Yeah, it was a, yeah, it was definitely like a little nerves.
Um, but it, but it was also a really safe space to just work on it together, and that's what we kept doing.

(12:11):
I think.
I, I wanna say we pegged only.
A few times before we actually like recorded it.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Like it was, we, we probably recorded like our third or fourth picking or something like that.
Yeah.
I mean, our only fans Adventure started like six months into our, our marriage started six months into our relationship, and our only fans also started six months into our relationships.

(12:34):
So we like speed ran, like we speed ran, and it, I know that's not gonna be the case for everybody.
Um, but our foundation of being best friends of opening that communication of having no shame and just having curiosity, like it, it allowed us to speed run.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And we got to explore and share it, which was really cool.

(12:57):
Mm-hmm.
Like it, it was, it's still a really cool thing that we do is, you know, we do a lot of first time things on camera and I think it's because not only did we start our relationship with a huge conversation around kink fantasies, desires, but we also.
One of the first ones was a really big one, which was pegging.

(13:17):
Yeah.
And neither of us had done it before each other.
Yeah.
So we, we really got to learn together and it showed us if we can do something as vulnerable as pegging and make each other feel really safe in this experience, like we can do a lot of other things too.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So yeah, our foundation around that was really important.
Um, and you'll even see in a lot of our picking videos that we still have this open communication.

(13:40):
Like if I go too deep, like he will tell me immediately.
If he wants more, he will tell me.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and I've started to like, started to get better at body language.
I know how to warm you up.
I know what your prostate feels like when you're about to come.
Like, I, I can now read your body really well.
And that takes experience and it takes exposure and it takes just talking to each other.

(14:02):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It takes time, patience, and just working on it together.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
There's no ego in our bedroom.
No.
No.
All right.
I wanna get into some questions.
All right.
What do you got? I have a lot of just random ones too.
So I'm just gonna start with, um, how to start equipment size.
So we've kind of talked about this briefly.

(14:23):
Um, if you go to Peep show, peep shows our favorite toy website because, um, everything on their website is body safe.
Mm-hmm.
And I cannot say that for a lot of other companies.
So Peep Show is our favorite one.
We were affiliated with them.
If you go to Peep show through our Instagram, even you, or our website, sunny and sky.com,
you'll see all of our toy recommendations.

(14:44):
And we have these on there.
But, um, if you look for a strap on dildo training set, this is what I would recommend.
Mm-hmm.
And I would recommend this, even if you don't have a partner, um, like Sonny's already said, explore this on your own first.
I think that's really important, especially as most females do not have experience in anal play with another person.

(15:08):
They have no idea what they're gonna do.
They have no idea how to do this.
Mm-hmm.
And so it is up to you, even if you want to be a sub or a bottom in those situations, it's up to you to be able to teach them.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and so starting with a, a dildo training set, small, medium, large, um, there is a butt plug training set by B Vibe that I really love.

(15:28):
Yeah.
And they're glass, glass toys are wonderful because they're so much cleaner than other toys.
Um, that starts small, medium, large.
Also recommend, um, this is our favorite stuff.
It's slippery stuff is what it's called.
And it's a water-based lube.
It's really important for us to get a water-based loop because we do use silicone toys for pegging.
Silicone will destroy, silicone lube will destroy our silicone toys over time.

(15:51):
Mm-hmm.
And we don't wanna do that.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And um, also if you know, butt plugs sound scary, dildo sounds scary.
You got hands, like, fingers do work.
That's how I started.
That's what I did for a while.
I will say.
Use your fingers over a toothbrush or a hairbrush or anything that's not meant to go in your body or your partner's toys, please do not use your like female partner's vaginal toys on your anus and hide it from them.

(16:20):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
That's, we get bv, but remember to.
Clip your fingernails, wash your hands, stuff like that.
Or even wear gloves.
Yep.
Yeah, we love gloves.
We love gloves.
Um, dildos are really hard to find.
We, how many dildos have we gone through to find like the perfect dildo for you? Um, I mean, we got pretty lucky like that, that, um, set that we got.
It was clear.

(16:41):
Also don't get clear dildos for your ass.
Horrible idea.
Um, but the, the set that we got was pretty good.
I think that is one of the best things about getting a set is it will inform you of what works for you so that you can kind of hone in on, um, a dildo.
But I think we got really lucky.
Like we used that other purple and like pink marbled one.

(17:01):
We still have it and we still use it.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and that worked really well.
I think it's like six and a half, seven inches.
I don't know the diameter.
It's pretty firm.
It it is very firm though, which you, you'll figure out that like you can't go too floppy.
Uh, with a dildo, but also too firm.
Doesn't work.
You gotta find mm-hmm.
Somewhere in the, in the middle.
Yeah.
And this is our favorite guy right now.

(17:23):
Um, he also lives on Peep Show, I believe he's called an Advent.
Is the brand of this? I, I think so, yeah.
And they, they do make specific dildos for prostate place.
So if you look at this, um, there's no testicles, which I know a lot of guys are looking for, is just a toy that doesn't actually have balls on it.
Mm-hmm.
So this one does not.

(17:43):
Um, and the tip here is a little bit firmer than the rest of it, and it's also directional.
And so this tip, um, is meant to go against the prostate and massage this prostate.
Mm-hmm.
And so it's also really important, this is a huge tip that I can give people, um, especially women who are doing this to their partners, pay attention to the direction of your dildo.

(18:03):
Um, if it has a bulb or a head, make sure it's pointing up or down towards your partner's prostate based on their anatomy.
And so.
Sonny's prostate, like most, I think everybody's prostate, but your prostate is on this interior side towards his belly button.
Yep.
And so anytime that I am going to be penetrating him, I'm, I'm trying to think about where his prostate is and making sure that this lines up with that.

(18:28):
Mm-hmm.
Because it can actually hurt if it's not lined up correctly.
Yeah.
You've had a couple of times that you're like, you're not flipped.
And I was like, shit, I'm not.
Yep.
Yep.
So, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And then, um, I know the question I think was specifically about toys, but one of the biggest things when you, you wanna start this is what happens before you even get to play time, which is we have a whole question about prep.

(18:50):
We have a whole question.
Okay.
Cool.
Whole question about prep.
I'm jumping the gun there.
All right.
Um, so other equipment, like Sunny said though, um, we do use a douche, we'll talk about how we use this, but douche here, and then the strap on that you like to use other pieces of equipment that we have found that work really well.
Um.

(19:11):
Warming up equipment is really important.
So whether you're using gloved hands or unloved hands, butt plugs, prostate massagers, prostate massagers, we don't ever just like jump straight to pegging, so mm-hmm.
If we're getting set up for a scene, even if we're not recording it, I'm making sure that I have things to warm sunny up.
Mm-hmm.

(19:32):
And then this guy is called a lube launcher.
This is like one of our best investments.
We got the A recommendation from one of our subs on OnlyFans, and you just fill this guy up with lube.
I lube the outside of this, you put this into your anus, and then you just bird it in there.
Mm-hmm.
And you're completely lubed.
And this has changed the game I know, for myself.

(19:52):
Mm-hmm.
And for you, for solo play for Yep.
I use it all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And basically, for anybody that's listening, it's basically, it looks like a, it's like a syringe, large syringe.
It's blunt and it's not made of metal.
It's plastic, but it is essentially, you.
Turkey based yourself with lube and to put it unsexy and bluntly.

(20:13):
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
I have a way with words.
So Good.
It's perfect.
So those are it.
I'll also make a list of equipment that we like to use.
Um, and if you go to sunny and sky.com
under our blogs, we have all of this listed as well.
Yeah.
Um, so if you don't wanna listen to this over and over, we have all of this stuff written out.
We have so many how to peg guides.

(20:36):
Mm-hmm.
Um, we have a how to video on our OnlyFans.
We have how to talk to your partner about this.
We have what equipment should we use, we've got how to prep.
Yep.
Everything written out as well.
Um, because this is a really popular.
Popular topic for a lot of people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, the last piece of equipment that's really important for us is we actually use a waterproof blanket.

(20:58):
Yep.
For a lot of things.
Um, but especially any backdoor play.
Backdoor play for myself, backdoor play for Sunny, just to make cleanup easier.
Um, we've gotten really good about prepping that.
We don't actually make messes as much anymore, but shit happens.
Yeah, exactly.
And you're using a ton of lube, so if anything, you just don't want lube all over your sheets.

(21:20):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
You end up using quite a bit.
So that just helps give you a kind of clean state slate afterwards.
Yep, exactly.
Um, this wonderful human is asking about power dynamic.
What would you say our power dynamic is with pegging? Or how did it evolve? How about that? So it definitely started, I, I would say we really started in a learning space and if we had to, I.

(21:42):
Like name it.
Our relationship started out a lot as like dumb subby and so you just naturally fell into more of like a service top where I was kind of topping from the bottom.
I was guiding you, I was telling you what to do.
Um, and I think that served us really well.
So that was kind of our place and I still think we get into that depending, um, on just what mood I'm in or you're in.

(22:11):
But I would say it is very switchy now.
I would definitely say if I had to give it a percentage, it's probably like 60 40, like the 40 being the service top 60 being like more dummy mommy.
Like, and yeah, I would say I would agree with that.
Um, and there are times that you definitely fall into a, like super submissive space.

(22:35):
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then there are times that I just don't necessarily need you to talk from the bottom anymore because I know how to, I know what I'm doing a little bit more.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Um, and if I don't, you'll just tell me really briefly and we can kind of just drop back into that.
We really, early on, we noticed when we were looking at porn and starting to create porn that a lot of the dynamic for pegging was this like hardcore dominatrix with this super submissive degradation and humiliation.

(23:05):
Mm-hmm.
And I love that space, but that's not necessarily what we do.
Um, we are very just like passionate real.
Pegging is mm-hmm.
Is what I would explain it.
Mm-hmm.
Um, humiliation and humiliation is almost like a, a hard boundary for me.
I don't love humiliating people.
Yeah.
And I don't love degrading people.
Yeah.

(23:26):
And that, and that's not something like, even though you will put on latex, leather boots, whatever it is, I've even been pegged in chastity.
Like twice ish.
Mm-hmm.
I'll call that last time ish.
But, um, it, it's never a, yeah, like degrading, humiliating.
It is still much like a caretaker.

(23:48):
Um, it's a caretaker, like essential, I would say.
It, it's, it's, it is like this mistress.
It, it's kind of this just like I'm telling you your mind, this is my ass, this is my cock.
These are like almost an objectification.
Yeah.
Um, which I like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you don't, you don't like degradation? No.
It's not something that we explore a lot of.
No, no.
But, and it's still very much, you're very like encouraging.

(24:12):
You're very complimentary.
Yeah.
You're a good boy.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Um, so yeah, it, I would have to say it, it started as a service toppy place just because that fit the dynamic, um, and the learning space that we were in.
But like you said, as you didn't need the guidance, like, I don't need to tell you what to do.

(24:32):
You know, you've pretty much got it at this point.
Um.
It is either just more of a sensual pegging space or, um, like the Dami mommy, like that mistress caretaker space, which, which has a similar look to what the mainstream pegging is.

(24:52):
But it, it doesn't have that, you know, like hard edge to it, I would say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not yet.
At least not yet.
Yeah.
You know, things change.
We'll see.
Perfect.
Okay.
Um, so good First time straps.
I would say just don't know the brands.
I, I, I don't know the brands, but they're, you know, they're, they have nylon straps.

(25:16):
They're usually purple or pink straps with like a foam patty thing.
Like, those will work to start, I think just we worked on, we had one of those for like a year.
We had it for a long time.
Great.
Yeah.
So I would say just get one that, that works to start and then you can figure out what you want to go for from there.
Mm-hmm.
Um, my favorite strap is this beautiful, beautiful girl.

(25:38):
I have two of them.
One in pink, one in black.
This is from Anses.
Um, and it is leather.
It's incredibly comfortable.
It's very flattering.
She's a little expensive, but I won't need another one.
Yeah.
We've, we've had that for a long time.
Yeah.
And they're an amazing company to work with.
Yeah.
So.
Yep.
Let's see here.
Why in a lot of times pegging and chastity go hand in hand.

(26:01):
What do you think? I mean, I can give this one a guess, but I do think it is, it falls into that traditional like dominatrix, um, aspect of like, where I'm going to own you, to the point where even I'm going to control you.
Like not only is your ass mine, but your caucus mine and I can't, you have no control over whether when you get to use it or if you even get to use it.

(26:25):
So I would say that it's almost, um, a facet of that typical dynamic that you see with a lot of the rougher, harder pegging scenes.
And when I say rougher harder, I mean, um, when it comes to like the spectrum of, of kink and BDSM.
Yeah, I, I, I do agree with you with the, um, control aspect.

(26:46):
I think for so much of like a.
And I'm not even saying that all men in chastity are submissive, but I would say a large percentage of men in chastity are submissive.
And what I've learned from a lot of our friends who like chastity, is the control aspect that they no longer have to even think about their caucus theirs.

(27:07):
They don't have to think about that primal urge of constantly releasing because it's not theirs anymore.
They don't get that decision.
And so I think the idea of control with release with pegging, like they just, it's kind of like cheese and wine.
Like they fit really well together.
Um, and for a lot of people, especially with Chastity prostate.

(27:29):
Release is one of the ways that they get to come without touching their cocks.
Yeah.
That is something we've been told by numerous people because one of my, um, fantasy is desires that I've been like working on, um, is a hands-free orgasm where I don't touch my cock at all.
And a lot of people have just said, just put on a cage, like go into chastity and, and you'll be able to get there.

(27:52):
So I can see that also being an aspect, um, to, to help facilitate that.
'cause we've been told that quite a few times.
Yeah.
We've tried Chastity a couple of times.
I've pinched his balls so hard one time.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It's, it's something I'll, you know, continue to try.
I, I never, like, I don't give up easily, but yeah, just my anatomy and also some complications with the vasectomy just don't seem to play well with chastity.

(28:19):
Yeah.
We've tried lots of cages.
Chastity is a harder, a harder kink in the sense of.
Getting the perfect cage.
Mm-hmm.
And they're kind of expensive and they can be a little bit frustrating at times.
Yeah.
So be patient if that's something you're going into.
But that is why I think Chastity and, and pegging go really well together, is that aspect of control.
Mm-hmm.
And release.

(28:40):
Yep.
Okay.
Um, best small tips or non-intuitive tricks you've learned, or other favorite nuances or actions? Do you wanna start? I have to think about my, yeah.
My tips.
Um, okay.
So I've got a couple of tips.
First one is this lube launcher, like we talked about.
Mm-hmm.

(29:01):
This.
Is huge for when you need to, when I'm pegging Sonny, I have to constantly re lube or it's on my mind a lot of like, okay, it's been like five minutes, I need to start thinking about his ass and, and getting lube again.
And so it's just another thing to constantly be thinking about this lube launcher makes it so that I don't have to do that nearly as much or even at all again.

(29:21):
Mm-hmm.
Um, like if we load this up, put this in your ass and then lube the dildo, we're, we're pretty good with that.
Mm-hmm.
Um, other tips is start really small, like with yourself.
Don't just jump into the largest toys or the largest straps, if that's something that you wanna do and that's your goal.
I love that.
But be really patient with this.

(29:41):
Your anal muscles, um, like your rectum and your anus, they're made up of two different types of muscles.
So on the outside.
I'm gonna not pick this up.
On the outside of like your body, you have skeletal muscle.
So you, if you think about it, you can actually kind of open and close your anus.

(30:03):
On the inside of that you have smooth muscle.
Smooth muscle is the type of muscle that lines your entire, like your stomach and your GI tract.
You can't actually think about relaxing that and be able to relax that.
And so what you have to do is you have to get your body into a really calm state.
You have to be able to relax that first sphincter of skeletal muscle, and then you have to.

(30:24):
Give your body some patience and warming up to be able to relax that second set of muscles.
And if you go too quickly, like that's what hurts.
Mm-hmm.
And that's where you can cause tears.
That's where you can cause hemorrhoids.
That's where you can just cause trauma and you don't wanna do it again.
And so knowing how your body works, that anatomy is really important and going really slow.
Lube is so important.

(30:45):
Um, so water-based lube is our best friend.
I wear gloves so much with this because I put so much lube everywhere.
I would say that's a tip is gloves.
Yeah, gloves are a big one.
Um, I love wearing gloves for the sense of I touch my hair a lot.
It's definitely an anxious tick that I have.
I also have a lot of hair.
If I have lube on my hand, I, I, I don't wanna get lube everywhere.

(31:09):
Um, so this will allow me to put like two layers of gloves on, lube up my hand, give sunny like this pro state massage, play with these toys.
Take a layer off, grab my strap, put that on, put lube on that.
Get my strap into him and then take my third, like second layer off, and then my hands are clean.
Mm-hmm.
And I don't have to worry about lube going anywhere.

(31:30):
It's just, it's nice and tidy.
Mm-hmm.
Um, the one other tip that I can really think of is, um, what I said earlier, making sure that your dildos are pointed the right way.
And then I would just say practice, especially for women, practice different positions.
Um, practice using a sex wedge because some, most men are taller than us.

(31:52):
Mm-hmm.
Um, practice thrusting, practice, staying at like a same pace.
Practice doing multiple things at the same time.
So giving a hand job or grabbing a different toy.
Um, practice talking to your partner, especially if you are a woman that's now in kind of a top position.
You are talking a little bit more like the roles do change a little bit.

(32:13):
And so you are now guiding the scene because your partner is in bliss and so it's really important for you to just.
I don't know, try to talk a little bit more, I would say is something that really helped me to feel more comfortable in my skin, especially as I was starting to explore this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I would say that for guys too, just being on the flip side of, um, that is being verbal in the sense of not only what obviously doesn't feel good, but what does, again, that your partner can't really feel this, so they're just going off of like body position, um, to know what feels good.

(32:52):
So obviously say, say what you're feeling is always helpful.
Um, but I think the biggest thing to like back up really far a tip is, and it has to relate to having this conversation with your partner, is think about why you wanna do this.
And not just from the aspect of, because I think it's gonna feel good, but why you wanna do it with your partner? Because it is a scary conversation and being able to convey that, um, is gonna be really helpful when, um, you might have a partner that this is a surprise to.

(33:25):
I think that's a really good thing to do is just to sit down and think like, why do I want to do this? I feel safe with this person, et cetera.
And really explore that for yourself, aside from just, well, I've got a prostate and rubbing it is gonna feel good.
I've touched it a few times.
Touch it for me.
Like, I, I think that's one of the biggest tips I can give is just to be really articulate about, um, why you wanna do this, going into the actual conversation and then some other tips.

(33:56):
Hip mobility.
Um.
Being able to be a little bit more flexible than you're used to is gonna be helpful.
I know a few times we've been done and I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't, like I broke my hips.
So I would practice some hip mobility.
Um, know where your prostate is so that you can show your partner if you haven't been able to find it.

(34:18):
It's very close to where a woman's G-spot is.
A lot of guys know where that is.
I hope you know where that is too.
So it's, it's about, it's about a knuckle, it's about round to your second knuckle in and up towards your belly button.
And at first it won't be prominent, but you'll be able to kind of feel it like it, it will, and not like actually physically feel it, but sensation wise it will feel different.

(34:42):
Well, and it feels like kind of like the top of your mouth a little bit.
Yep.
Um, it is the size of a walnut for in most people, unless you have a, a large prostate, if it's larger than a walnut, you should actually get that checked.
Yes.
Um, and it's kind of like a hard disc is what I would describe it.
Like your, your rectum is really soft and then you'll notice that there's a patch where Sunny said like, up towards your belly button that is a little bit harder.

(35:04):
Mm-hmm.
And the more that you rub this, the harder and more prominent it actually gets.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Especially, uh, towards orgasm, it gets very, very hard.
Um, and then I would say the last tip is if.
I'm not gonna even say if I'm gonna say, when you go too quick, it will happen and it hurts.

(35:26):
Don't be discouraged.
And I mean, if it really, really hurts, obviously, you know, stop and reassess.
But a lot of times, especially in the beginning, for us, it wasn't necessarily a stopper, but a few times it was.
And that's something that you really have helped me out with and you really showed that it, like, it, it does go away.

(35:47):
Obviously if there's lasting pain, if there's, you know, if, if you can tell that something actually is really wrong, stop.
But oftentimes it's just like a, it's like 10 to 15 seconds and then it, after a minute it's completely gone.
And I would really say that that's something you have to figure out for yourself, but that's something that I learned that I didn't.

(36:10):
No, in the beginning, and that's a huge tip, is just give yourself the space to calm down and try again.
Mm-hmm.
I think that's a really, a really big one that I, I've learned over the few years, and that goes back to like the type of muscle that you have inside yourself of your muscles or not relaxed and you just basic, I force something through it.
Mm-hmm.
Or you forced something through it.

(36:30):
Mm-hmm.
And when it wasn't ready and in those situations, like I can see that it hurts him, so I will stop, I will not move.
'cause sometimes pulling out also like, makes it worse so I will not move and then I just tell him to breathe.
Yep.
Like some, it's just breathing will get you through so much like pain, it'll also, breathing is such a good technique for so many things.

(36:50):
Yeah.
Um, but yes.
And if you don't have enough lube, that is another reason that it could really hurt is 'cause you could tear somebody's rectum.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
There's so many tips.
I think those are, those are some really good starting ones.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, I have a question for you actually.
What was it like for you to like be on your hands and knees for the first time? Mm.

(37:15):
Uh, incredibly vulnerable.
Yeah.
Like with me behind you? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was, it was a, it, it was, it was one of those, we've had a few perspective shift moments, but that was a, a big one was just like, oh, oh my gosh.
Like, I am, like, I, I am, I don't know how to describe it.
I just vulnerable, like very, very vulnerable.
Like, if I didn't trust you, it would've been a very scary space.

(37:38):
It wasn't, vulnerability is a little bit inherently scary, but, um, because I trusted you, I was like, okay, this is gonna be okay.
She's got you.
But it was, yeah, it was a very new experience to, to like be facing away from you.
I think, you know, being.
Uh, on top usually.
And being the top as a man, you're always facing the person, even if they're facing away from you.

(38:00):
So to not be able to see the person was a huge shift in just like, oh, okay, this is kind of what it's like.
Yeah.
And you have to now use verbal communication a little bit more if you need something.
That's a really good point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
cause I'm not ever, I'm not, I'm not ever, but, um, there's a lot of times that I am not facing somebody.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.

(38:26):
Um, is there any tips that you would give a man who is interested in exploring pegging, but having a harder time stepping into that vulnerable space of, of being a bottom? Not even submissive, but just being a bottom? Um, I think it's just building that trust and safety with your partner, like knowing that you can turn your back on them.

(38:53):
And there you can trust them not to hurt you.
You can trust them not to judge you.
You can trust them not to think any differently of you because of the position you're in.
I mean, you're face down, ass up like that is, um, yeah, it's something that I think a lot of society would look and go, that's, that's not a man or whatever.

(39:15):
So I think it's, it's all about that trust and safety with the person that you're doing it with.
Cool.
Yeah.
Um, I have a lot more questions, but I wanna talk about prep because that is a really important question for a lot of people.
Um, we get a lot of questions around how do you keep it clean? Um, how do I eliminate the mess or how do I even get my partner to be more comfortable with my backdoor area? Um, because inherently like.

(39:44):
Shit happens.
Mm.
Yeah.
Go where poo lives and poo might show up sometimes.
Yeah.
And so it's really important, one, before you drop into this space, whoever you are exploring anal play with, that you understand that, that you respect their body and that you don't shame them for that.
Um, because this is an incredibly vulnerable space.
Whether I am receiving, um, anal sex or I am giving pegging, like there is no shame here for whatever our bodies do with that.

(40:12):
Yeah.
We can talk about it, we can try to mitigate it, but if you make somebody feel bad for what their body naturally does and they're trying to experience pleasure while you're like forcing yourself into them, their bodies are sometimes gonna do things.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And so it's really important for everybody to just be really mature and kind and respectful in that situation.
Yeah.
But.

(40:32):
Here's some things we do to make, to really try to make sure that none of that happens.
And um, this is a anal douche.
This is the biggest tool in your toolbox when it comes to that.
Um, and this is.
After a few iterations, we used to have a gigantic one.
Um, I don't know why you got that.

(40:53):
That seems so big.
It was very large.
Like think as long as a banana and as thick as like a hot dog.
Not necessary.
I mean, also is a little bit of foreplay if you want to turn your douching into foreplay, that's cool.
Um, but um, this one works great and some of the tips are, uh, go into the bathroom, get completely naked.

(41:17):
Don't try to do this with any sort of clothes on.
Um, bring lube, use warm water.
Do not stick ice, cold water up your bum.
Or like scalding water.
Both of those are no fun.
Um, ice scald water could be a really good punishment though for bad boys.
It could be.
It could be.

(41:37):
But um.
I would recommend also applying lube to yourself, first applying lube to this.
Um, going really slow.
I know, I think both of us have, um, tried to do prep a little too aggressively or rushed it and we've actually like, been like, you know what? I kind of messed up and I hurt myself a little bit, so we're not gonna do this today.

(41:58):
So be careful with these things.
They, they aren't as smooth and as nice as dildos are.
Um, and give yourself a lot of time.
Don't be like, Hey, we're gonna peg in 10 minutes.
I'm gonna go clean out really quick.
Not recommended.
I would say I like to do it at least an hour before, um, probably.
I'll do it like two or three times and then I will like leave the bathroom.

(42:24):
I'll wait like probably 15, 20 minutes and then go do it again.
Just to do like a final check, just to make sure.
Um, and then I like to give myself a little bit of time afterwards just to make sure there's no water, water dries things out.
It's not a lubricant.
So also giving time in between, um, so that you're not just trying to back to back and rush into this, um, without making sure that everything's ready.

(42:51):
Those are Jenny's tips.
I'm gonna give you some tips too.
Okay.
I, I have, okay.
Alright.
Um, I have a medical background and so I just wanna talk about, I do not clearly.
Um, so I just wanna talk about douching, the process of douching and if there's any kind of contraindications or anything that goes into this.

(43:14):
This is considered a bulb enema.
Um, the tip of it is blunt, but like Sunny said, it can be a little bit sharp at times.
So it's really important to lube this.
The way that we start this is, I actually take the tip of this off.
I get lukewarm water.
I'll test the water on the top of my hand to make sure that it is not too hot.
And before I squeeze this to fill this up with water, I'll actually fill, I don't know, I would say like one eighth of this with lube.

(43:41):
Actually.
What do you not put lube? No, I do not.
And I don't take that off.
And you also get naked.
Yes.
You don't get naked.
No, I don't have to.
Why are you getting naked? Are you making a mess? Yes.
Anyways.

(44:03):
Okay, so I'm gonna teach Sunny how to do this too.
Perfect.
So you're gonna take your bulb enema, you're gonna take the tip of it off, fill the bottom of this with lube, and then I will squeeze this so that I have negative pressure here, and I will fill this up as far as it will go with the warm water.
I'll put the tip of this back on and then I will basically suffocate this in lube the, the tip of it.

(44:29):
Um, I'll sit on the toilet and Oh, yeah, I do it on the toilet too.
I don't just stand in the bathroom.
That's missing God.
Okay.
Um, I will sit on the toilet.
We'll put this inside of myself and I will make sure that it is truly inside of myself.
Like you have to sometimes position yourself so that you're not up against like your rectal wall.

(44:55):
Um, and then I will squeeze this very gently.
Until I have negative pressure here and I will keep that negative pressure until I pull out, because I don't wanna just make a mess, keep that negative pressure until I pull out.
I will put this into the sink so that I can clean this when I'm done and then I do what I need to do.

(45:17):
Um, I will do this a maximum of three times.
If I am not clear after three times, I'm just not going to, to have anal sex today.
Yeah.
Um, it's really important to know your body as well if you are not having regular bowel movements.
If you did not, if you had Taco Bell the day before, like there are just certain times that you should not do anal sex if you're trying to avoid a mess.

(45:39):
Um, and you can also over douche.
Yeah.
And so, um, it's really important to, to just understand, like, don't try to push yourself if you're not coming clean.
Today's just not the day.
What happens when you over douche is you can just fill your colon with a lot of water.
Um, if you have a long douche, you can actually like potentially, um, fill your small intestine even into your stomach.

(46:02):
Like that's pretty rare, but that is one of the side effects that can happen.
Anal tearing can happen with this.
Um.
Just irritation can happen, but relatively douching is, is really safe.
Um, it is a safer procedure, so it's something that you can do at home very easily.
There is a kit from BBE that, it's like an anal starter kit.

(46:24):
It comes with this, and it also comes with very detailed step by step directions of this.
Yeah.
Should have maybe given those to you, you should have, yeah.
I was the kid when they're like, give me step by step directions of how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
And the teacher ended up with just like a piece of bread and the jar of peanut butter and the jar of jelly and then another piece of bread that was much better than mine.

(46:46):
I do all of those things too, except for the, the lube stuff and I do it in the toilet every time.
Okay.
We're gonna move on.
Thank you for listening to our TED talk about how to clean your ass.
Okay.
We're gonna lose our channel.
That's fine.
Um, what else do we have here? Um, one question is, how do you know what to do? And I think this could be honestly for both of us.

(47:11):
I'm sure it's a little bit more directed to me, but this is where doing research, looking at videos and just practicing, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Talking to each other.
Does this feel good? That doesn't feel good.
Don't do that.
Maybe we can try this.
Let's try this position.
Like there's so much open dialogue that we are constantly learning from each other.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So when I first started, I had no idea what I was doing and I admitted that.

(47:35):
Mm-hmm.
Like, it's okay to, I'm not know what you're doing.
Yeah.
Um, your most sensual and romantic position, um.
One position I really love and I've started to like this more for like really good prostate massages is like where I'm basically on top of you.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Like you're, you are almost like chest to chest.

(47:56):
Yeah.
Face to face, chest to chest.
And um, we've tried to do this with pegging a couple of times, but what happens is when Sonny's on his back and I'm on top of him in that way, like it's pretty deep.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and so it's something that we're definitely working more towards.
It's also just a little bit awkward 'cause we are different heights.
Um, and so it, it pulls the, the dildo a little bit.

(48:17):
Yeah.
Um, but we're learning and, but one of my favorite things is to like, do a really good prostate massage, but like have my hand basically on my hip.
And so I, I'm like.
Inside of you actually with myself.
Mm-hmm.
And thrusting against my hip and massaging at the same time.
Mm-hmm.
And it's a good time.
It is a good time.

(48:39):
Um, positions that we have found though for pegging that work really well is obviously doggy works really well depending on height.
Um, bent over the bed.
We did the standing one where I was backing into you was really standing.
Works really well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
'cause I can kind of like squat down and also give you a break by just like fucking myself a little bit.
Mm-hmm.
And I can give you like a reach around with it.

(49:01):
And then, um, me on top of you is really nice.
I think we've even done a couple of like spooning.
Mm-hmm.
A little bit.
Yeah.
Spooning again, the height difference, it's kind of the same as doggy.
It can be a little tricky.
Yeah.
So, but almost any position that you can do in sex, like you can do in pegging.
Mm-hmm.
So you can get really creative with it.
Yeah.
So.

(49:23):
Um, let's see.
Is it painful? Is it painful? Like we said, anal sex can be painful.
It shouldn't be painful though every time.
No.
Like that is not the goal.
If you're having painful anal sex, like I would really look into that.
I would really focus on warming up.
I would really focus on like listening to your body, starting with smaller toys, talking to your partner using more lube.

(49:46):
Some bodies are just not meant for pleasurable anal sex, and it's really important to not push yourself, not shame yourself, not force yourself and vice versa for your partners.
It should, you should feel pressure, but not pain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would, I would, I would agree with that.
Like it, there's, if I'm feeling pain, I am saying something, but it should be pleasurable.

(50:11):
Mm-hmm.
More than anything.
And um, there's a question about like, incontinence here.
There is not, like in a healthy body, there are not concerns for long-term incontinence.
I have heard of like one issue with a long-term incontinence and it was this woman who had to wear like a large plug from her dom for like days to weeks, days, weeks and weeks.

(50:35):
Yeah.
Um, and that's not obviously what we're doing.
No.
But there can be times that you have like fecal leakage during it.
Um, and that's why we always have towels with us.
Mm-hmm.
I wouldn't call that incontinence though.
Um, I would just call that more.
Something that happens with it.
If stuff relaxes and there's stuff there, it's going, it's gonna come out.

(50:56):
But, um, I can't think of, and I've done a lot of research behind this, I can't think of any long term issues you might develop like hemorrhoids over time.
You could, yeah.
But I mean, even, like I, I know we both have worn plugs, like all day long and there's no issue.
Like I've also played with myself quite aggressively and never had any issues with that.

(51:20):
Um, let's see.
One thing I wanna talk about briefly is when it comes to like, my point of view with pegging, um, why I like it and some of the things that I had to overcome and some of the things that I've noticed with women stepping into this role, 'cause it can feel really uncomfortable or just awkward for them at times is it was really awkward at first and I had to be okay with that.

(51:47):
Um.
It's kind of like learning a new sport or learning an instrument.
Um, it feels really awkward at first.
Um, 'cause you don't know what you're doing.
But one thing that was really important for me was my partner felt safe enough with me to wanna explore this.
We have like this full idea of compersion together and apart that your pleasure is my pleasure and I wanna do everything that I can to champion your pleasure and your kinks and your curiosities and your desires.

(52:16):
And if that means me stepping into a little bit of uncomfortability or awkwardness for just a little bit as I'm learning something, like it was still really important for me to try.
Mm-hmm.
Um, we also gave enough space in this dynamic that if it wasn't for me that was okay.
At any point I could say, I don't wanna do this anymore, and there's no shame that's projected back onto you.

(52:37):
If I don't want to do something with my partner, that doesn't mean that he can't do it.
With another person, let alone, but also by himself.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and I think that's really important to know that if you wanna explore something like anal play and your partner's just not quite there, that doesn't mean that you have to stop exploring it with yourself, um, or have shame around that curiosity.

(52:58):
And I think that's something that's really important to reiterate for a lot of women.
There is also this like implanted homophobia as well, that we have given through the society of what a man's expected role is in a relationship.
And the idea of like penetrating their man or their man being below them is, is considered shameful when we're not actually looking at what this is.

(53:26):
It's, we have a partner that.
Values us and our safety so much that they wanna explore something that they're so curious about.
When their body has something that is so pleasurable with them in their anus and they're asking us to do that, that we have to kind of break down this like societal view and actually just look at our partner because it doesn't fucking matter what society thinks.

(53:49):
It matters what we think.
Mm-hmm.
And what you think in that partnership and that relationship, because that's who you're in a relationship with.
You're not in a relationship with everybody else who's insecure.
You're in a partner with your, you're in a relationship with your partner who is secure enough with you and themselves to wanna explore this.
And I think that that's a really big thing that we have to, as women really look at of why do I feel so much shame or why does this make me uncomfortable? And where do those views come from? And is it a view that I personally have or is it a view that was given to me that's not mine.

(54:20):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I do think, like on that topic, there is a lot of fear that if.
Their man wants to be penetrated anally, then that means that they desire to be with another man.
We hear that all the time.
Yeah.
But there's like a comment in here even that it just says gay.
Yeah, it says gay.

(54:40):
And, and it's, it's really interesting that it, it's almost like the, um, the argument that like marijuana's a gateway drug to heroin.
Like, it, it just, it that they are not mutually exclusive because you like anal pleasure does not ever mean that you desire to be with another man.
It means you like your prostate, you like this thing that feels good being stimulated, and you want your female partner to do that with you.

(55:07):
Yeah.
And for you.
Yeah.
If you are intimate.
Love that.
That's great.
There's literally no shame in that.
No.
There's so much confusion sometimes with like our attraction and sexuality and our desires and those things actually don't even have to be interconnected if we don't want them to.
No, no, absolutely not.
And that's, that's totally up to you.

(55:27):
But I think that is one of the biggest fears is that it just comes from a place of, if I do this, it will ignite something in them, or it is this like hidden desire and I might be left or something like that.
You know? And it might be, and, and it could be and, and it absolutely could be, but it also couldn't be.
Yeah.
You know, and it's up to you as a partner to like, decide if you wanna step down that road.

(55:52):
Mm-hmm.
And this fear of your partner, your partner shouldn't have to like, miss out on things because we're so scared of the like, what if.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, I totally agree.
But there's no shame in, in any of that.
And I'm sorry that there is shame in that.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So, um, what do we got? Um, I have a question for you while you're looking.

(56:18):
Okay.
Um, 'cause I know you kind of touched on it, but why, why do you like pegging.
Like, what, if you could like, describe it, you know, in a few sentences, why do you like pagan? Putting a strap on on one is very powerful.
Like there is something about having a cock, like yeah.

(56:39):
Like there, there is something very powerful about a cock.
Um, and there is something very powerful about a cock.
Like it is your life sorts.
It's, it's your light stick.
Like it's where your intuition comes from.
Your cock is a really powerful space.
Mm-hmm.
And so when I get to even just like, have something that resembles that, like it, it feels really powerful, especially just to step into the strap on.

(57:00):
Um, I also really selfishly like.
When somebody feels safe enough with me to allow me to step into some power of my own, to facilitate an experience for their pleasure.
Um, and that was something that I've never done before.
I, I've never been able to really guide an experience like that or to make somebody else feel really good in a really powerful way for myself.

(57:28):
And so being able to step into this role with you, for you alongside you, has allowed me to really step into some confidence of myself as well.
Penetrating somebody is a really wonderful, sensual, sexy, safe, beautiful thing.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And there's a, a question in here of like, how does she get hers too, or what do you get out of it? There are videos of me like, pegging you and my pussy's dripping.

(57:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's, it is like Spider-Man up in there.
Yeah.
Like I, I get so incredibly aroused by somebody else's pleasure.
Yeah.
And I get so aroused by being in a top position as well and doing it well.
Like I'm, I have a praise kink mm-hmm.
And when I'm doing a good job, it's like I can literally see it.
It's just a positive feedback loop of positive feedback.

(58:19):
Well, and it's, it's like what you touched on earlier is compersion.
Like, my pleasure is your pleasure.
Yeah.
And especially when I'm giving it to you, I'm like, oh, yeah.
Like there has been a couple of moments where I don't have like an internal, I, I don't wear an internal vibrator like ever.
It was something that we've tried a couple of times.
Yeah.
Um, but there's been a couple of, of times that I am just.

(58:40):
My, my pussy with a strap on it inside of you feels so good that I am about to come.
Mm-hmm.
And if I didn't get so pumped out, I'll be good.
Yeah.
And well, I think also to the point of like, how do you make sure she gets, gets hers or whatever.
Um, I meant to say this earlier, you don't have to just peg.
No, like we, that is something that we just started doing.

(59:02):
Um, and that's how we started.
'cause I think we were just so focused on this being a new space.
But we also do other things.
Like we have done a few, what we like to call anal equality.
We're like, I will fuck you in the ass first and then you'll fuck me in the ass.
Um.
And, uh, I, I think that's something that we just didn't realize in the beginning.

(59:23):
A lot of people are like, oh my gosh, this is such a big thing, or it's such a new thing or, or whatever, that they get narrowly focused on that being the only thing.
And while it absolutely can be, and, and it still is oftentimes for us, it doesn't mean it has to.
So like, you know, you can still like, have sex before.
Well, and if you want her to get hers, that's her foreplay is man, like Yeah.

(59:45):
Women love foreplay.
Like, we don't actually need to be penetrated to get off.
No.
Like, suck my nipples and tell me I'm like a girl.
Like, but there's just this, and there's also this idea that it, you have to have this goal constantly with sex.
Yeah.
And when you remove this goal.
When you remove this goal from sex of we have to climax and you just make this goal, we wanna have this pleasurable experience where we're enjoying time together.

(01:00:14):
Like it leaves so much more space for everything, for taking breaks, for coming back to it, for having multiple orgasms or having no orgasms, or being able to have that conversation of like, why can't I orgasm right now? Well, I'm not resourced.
I, I haven't eaten, I'm tired.
Mm-hmm.
I worked out today, it's really hot in here.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but when you put all this pressure on your partner to come, that's when women will have a lot of fake orgasms because you're, you're telling me I need to come when I'm not even close.

(01:00:43):
Mm-hmm.
And that's not the goal.
My goal is I just wanna feel good and I wanna feel good with you.
Now there's so much pressure on me that I'm going to pretend to have an orgasm so that we take that pressure off of me completely and then that robs both of us of the experience.
Yeah.
Or if I'm asking you like, can you come, come, come, like that breaks you? Yeah, no, that doesn't typically work.

(01:01:03):
So yeah, when we remove this goal behind sex of orgasming and we just put pleasure in front of it, like it leaves so much more space for us to enjoy it.
Mm-hmm.
I agree.
Yeah.
Um, but there are ways, like there are like internal vibrators you can get, there's things called bump hers that go on the back of strap ons.
Um, this strap on or this strapless strap on has a vibrator that goes against the G-spot.

(01:01:26):
So there are things if your partner really wants to get off with you, 'cause that's a really magical experience as well.
There are ways to do it and there's a lot of toys to try for it.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
But yeah, I get a lot of pleasure of just giving you pleasure.
Fuck.
Yeah.
All right.
What else you got? Let's see.
Um, how do I get my girlfriend to peg me? Mm.

(01:01:50):
When I told her almost two years ago, she was keen, but she still hasn't oof.
Um, did you just do it the once? Is that, um, maybe she's just waiting for you to take the initiative.
I mean, if you're interested in something, um, and you want it, you have to, you have to take the reins and you have, like, I, you know, once we had the conversation around, um, what I thought was you wanting to fuck me in the ass was really me wanting to fuck you in the ass.

(01:02:20):
Um, and we cleared that up.
I.
Started looking at toys.
Like I, I was like, okay, you're, you're into this.
I'm gonna like, follow through.
We had, we had the conversation multiple times.
Yeah.
Like it, yeah, we had the conversation multiple times.
Yeah.
I showed you, I was like, I was like, I'm looking at these toys.
Oh, the toys are here.
You know what I mean? Mm-hmm.
Like, there, it was a constant thing.
And that's a really vulnerable thing for you to do.

(01:02:41):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you have to, you know, if, if, if you really want it, you have to take the initiative that's, you know, it's, it's your pleasure that you're seeking and you have to own that.
And, um, it also gives the opportunity to continue talking about it, to build some excitement around it, um, to overcome any concerns, any fears to explore those.

(01:03:04):
So I would say bring it up again.
And again, women innately like in this society are shamed for initiating sex.
And so we are not the initiator.
Yeah.
And I know that that is what you guys would like us to do more, is to be the initiator, but we have been shamed for our sexual desires so much that some of us don't even know how to initiate or when to initiate, or that we even wanna initiate.

(01:03:30):
Mm-hmm.
And so sometimes we need you to help us initiate the things that you want us to initiate.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And also picking iss a scary thing.
Like, you know, buying a strap on buying a dildo as a woman, like that's a, you're like.
Probably thinking about a million things.
Like, I don't know how to thrust.
I don't know.
Oh my gosh.
This is too much.
Like having a partner that's willing to do it together.

(01:03:53):
Like, Hey, let's go to a toy store.
Hey, let's look at some toys together.
Let's watch the Sunny and Sky video on how to do this.
Yeah, highly recommend it.
Well, 'cause sometimes you just don't even know where to start.
We got you.
Yeah, we got you.
Don't worry.
Um, and then there's also the flip side of this question that I wanna bring up of, I wanna try pegging.
How do I convince my partner to do this Big thing is that you don't convince anybody in kink to do anything.

(01:04:19):
You can inspire them and you can be hopeful that they wanna explore the things that you're interested in, but kink.
Sex in general is all about enthusiastic consent.
Mm-hmm.
And we know that consent is always evolving in every relationship and dynamic that we're in, but it's really important to not try to convince or guilt, or shame or force or push any of our desires onto our partners.

(01:04:42):
And so if they're not interested in it, that no means no.
Maybe means maybe, and yes means yes, but.
That does not mean that we shame our partners into it.
It means that we can inquire and we can be inquisit.
Inquisit, inquisitive.
Inquisitive, yes.
About why they're maybe not interested in that.

(01:05:03):
Because I think that's a really good time if they're open to it, of having that conversation and for you to step back and not be reactive.
Be a listener of, okay, I'm really interested in this.
You've told me no.
Can I just ask why? Mm-hmm.
And that does not mean that you get to ask again in the future of like, okay, you told me this, now let's try it.

(01:05:24):
It's, it just means opening up that space of dialogue, um, because a lot of times your partner doesn't even know that you want her to peg you.
You guys don't have a super great open dialogue around sex or kink in general.
And so dropping this really big vulnerable thing can feel like a load of bricks and it can feel really scary for a lot of women.

(01:05:47):
And sometimes we react in a way that.
Doesn't feel great for us, and it's explosive.
And so it's really important to just step by, step it.
And when your partner's not interested in it, unfortunately they're not interested in it.
Mm-hmm.
But that doesn't mean that you can't explore it on your own.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah.

(01:06:07):
All right.
Um, yeah, I think that's it.
Okay.
So, um, let's do, we've got like one more thing.
Uh, I want to do a giveaway.
I think it's really important to, I don't know.
All right.
I'm gonna redo this.
So you're gonna cut that.
Ask me what I like about picking.

(01:06:28):
Okay.
Ask her about my winner.
What do you like about pegging? Sonny, I'm so glad you asked.
Um, start over.
All right, Sonny, I have another question for you before we go.
Yes.
How honey Boo.
I'll stop.

(01:06:49):
All right, Sonny, I have another question for you before we move into our giveaway.
What do you like about pegging? Um, so I think the easy answer is it feels good, but really what I like about pegging is a combination of the trust and vulnerability that, uh, and the closeness that I feel when pegging with you and exploring just anal play in the space.

(01:07:14):
But I think one of the coolest things, and I've thought a lot about this, is that you don't have a dick and you are willing to augment yourself.
You're literally willing to change yourself to temporarily help me feel pleasure.
Yes.
Yeah.
But you are like putting on like.

(01:07:37):
An appendage so that, so that, and learn how to use this appendage.
Yeah.
And learn how to use it and, and like practice and want to get better at it.
I think that's what I love the most about pegging is that you like, not only are invested in my pleasure, but you're so invested in my pleasure that you're like, I'm going to strap this thing to my body and I'm going to get good at using it.

(01:08:01):
I'm gonna be the best I can be, uh, fucking sunny in the ass.
That's right.
And I love that.
So I think that's what, that's what I like most about pecking and it feels really good.
But yeah, it feels really good.
It's also really hot.
It's really fucking hot in the ass.
It's hot to, to penetrate anybody.

(01:08:21):
Yeah.
Like sometimes I'll look down at like this purple dick and I'm like, oh my God, it's inside of you.
Like, don't take that for granted guys.
It is, it is really powerful to penetrate somebody.
It is, yeah.
All right.
I wanna do a giveaway.
So we have a waterproof sex blanket here.
And, um, these are unused.

(01:08:42):
You'll, you'll get a induced one, obviously.
Um, and then a prostate massager.
And this prostate massager is a small guy.
Um.
But I think it's a really good one for beginners.
It's also a really nice one for solos 'cause it's so long.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so I wanna do a, a giveaway here from our wonderful, wonderful toy company Peep show both their body safe.

(01:09:04):
This is a game changer for squirting.
This is a game changer for period.
Sex is a game changer for anal sex.
Yep.
It's if you wanna have a picnic and eat food off of it, like you won't get your bed messy.
Um, so the details of this giveaway can be found on our Instagram Sunny Sky Xo, xo.

(01:09:25):
It'll be our pin post and cool.
I feel weird.
Yeah.
You have to follow us and comment.
That'll be the rules.
Don't worry.
I got it.
Should we redo that or would that by, no, it's perfect.
Keep it rolling.
Can I kingdom? Can I try again? You're gonna cut all this right? Welcome to Francis Palace of Porn.

(01:09:49):
A kingdom of a porn.
7 million creators just for you.
One subscription, one low price.
The Costco of Porn Kingdom.
All right.
Thank you for that message from our sponsor.

(01:10:10):
Okay.
It is really hard to cut stuff in the middle.
By the way.
This is gonna suck, so kingdom.com.
It's actually not co.
So my question is, is like, should I just, should I redo this or should I just like not say anything? No, baby.
The people love the rawness.
Just keep it rolling.
I'm gonna keep all of this in.

(01:10:30):
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we're gonna do a giveaway.
We're gonna do a giveaway, and I'm really excited about this giveaway.
I fucking love that.
Laugh kingdom.com.

(01:10:54):
Okay.
So to encourage you and your own anal play and pegging, we're gonna do a really fun little giveaway.
We're giving away a waterproof sex blanket and a prostate massager.
This is great.
This is a prostate massager.
Do you want me to do it? All right.

(01:11:15):
Can you do it better? Yeah.
Okay.
Can you do a an unboxing video for us? Absolutely not.
All right.
So, um, because we're generous to our loyal fans.
All right, so we're gonna do a giveaway.
We've got a peep show has graciously given us a waterproof blanket that you can use in all of your playtime.

(01:11:42):
It's great for pegging, um, having a picnic in bed, also anal sex period, sex, whatever.
Squirting, squirting, birding.
So we are gonna do a giveaway on our Instagram.
They've also given us a prostate massager.
And this one's really nice, especially if you're just starting out.
It's nice and thin.

(01:12:03):
It's nice and long.
It can be a little hard to reach.
So this one's perfect.
And if you go to Sunny Sky xo, xo, there'll be a pin post.
You just have to follow our account and comment.
Um, what do you want em to comment? Oh, you pick the word.
It's gotta be Instagram safe though, so be careful.
What? No, they have to.

(01:12:26):
I wanna hear Peg me.
Is the word Peg me? That's, I have so many, I have thousands of dms that just say Peg me.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you'll find this clip.
Go to Instagram, sunny sky dot xo, xo, comment, peg me, you heard her.
And July 1st, I will pick a winner and I will send this little goodie box to you.

(01:12:48):
Unused.
Unused, obviously, and maybe throw in a couple extra goodies for you too.
Yeah, we will see, we'll see.
So yeah.
All right, let's, let's wrap up this marathon podcast.
Yeah.
All.
Okay.
So I wanna hear all of your pegging stories.
You know where to find us on all of our sites.

(01:13:08):
That's where we chat.
Um, we have all of our howtos on Sunny and sky.com.
We have our how to videos on our sites as well.
Like this is something that we really wanna break down, the stigma and the shame around.
It's something that's really enjoyable for both of us.
And it's.
Really popular.
Like this is how, I mean, this is kind of what we were known for and for a reason.

(01:13:29):
Mm-hmm.
We have thousands and thousands and thousands of men and couples reaching out to us on how to get started or wanting to share their journey or just thanking us for sharing our journey.
So thank you for being vulnerable with us as well.
Thank you for exploring your bottoms when you're curious about it.
Thank you for asking the tough questions and being vulnerable with your partners, and thank you for being here.

(01:13:50):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Yeah.
Bye guys.
Bye-bye.
Jesus kingdom.com
You be, by the way, you never redid that.
What is that gonna be? The promo? What if we never talk? You literally just like I kept doing that and then we just moved on to the giveaway.

(01:14:15):
You never mentioned? Well, cause I didn't think we were gonna actually do it.
Oh, okay.