Exploring the Depths of Nervous System Wisdom with Sarah Tacy

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to the Aligned Podcast.
I'm your host, Rachel Hall, and I'm so thrilled that you are here.
Together we'll explore what it means to truly embody alignment physically, emotionally, and energetically.
.333333333Through thought provoking conversations, we'll dive into the intricate relationships between body and mind, anatomy and nature, science and soul.

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.89344898Today's guest is the one and only Sarah Tacy. 6 00:00:25,546.89344898 --> 00:00:27,436.89344898 She is a dear, dear friend of mine. 7 00:00:28,586.89344898 --> 00:00:32,6.89344898 I just feel so honored that you're here, so gorgeous to spend an hour with you. 8 00:00:32,196.89344898 --> 00:00:42,456.89344898 and I am so curious to see what unfolds in our time together, and I am so excited for the listeners to meet you. 9 00:00:42,606.89344898 --> 00:00:59,76.89344898 I mean, lucky then that they get to meet you and really get to absorb your wisdom and your insights and the clarity and the, yeah, what's another word that I'm looking forward to? It is real, really that clarity. 10 00:00:59,76.89344898 --> 00:01:05,716.89344898 I feel like you drop some really, profound messages, but really clearly, and I think it's because they come from. 11 00:01:06,676.89344898 --> 00:01:07,366.89344898 They're authentic. 12 00:01:07,366.89344898 --> 00:01:12,106.89344898 They come from your nervous system, and it's like an energetic drop as well as, you know, a virtual drop. 13 00:01:12,586.89344898 --> 00:01:12,616.89344898 Mm. 14 00:01:12,616.89344898 --> 00:01:13,726.89344898 Or a verbal drop. 15 00:01:13,996.89344898 --> 00:01:14,86.89344898 Mm-hmm. 16 00:01:14,186.89344898 --> 00:01:15,386.89344898 so welcome my love. 17 00:01:15,866.89344898 --> 00:01:17,36.89344898 Thanks for having me. 18 00:01:17,96.89344898 --> 00:01:22,166.89344898 I just noticed when you said she's a really, really dear friend, I was like a little teary. 19 00:01:22,166.89344898 --> 00:01:40,226.89344898 I was like, oh, what an honor, uh, what an honor to be a sister with you and to have journeyed the little pieces that we've journeyed together and what I imagine are some ancestral pieces that go beyond what we could know. 20 00:01:40,706.89344898 --> 00:01:50,166.89344898 And and I think we also share a future in our mutual curiosity for the evolution mm-hmm. 21 00:01:50,406.89344898 --> 00:01:58,176.89344898 Of our bodies, of our souls, and how we can ripple it out to support anybody who. 22 00:01:58,656.89344898 --> 00:02:00,366.89344898 Is looking for similar support. 23 00:02:00,606.89344898 --> 00:02:00,726.89344898 Mm-hmm. 24 00:02:01,206.89344898 --> 00:02:09,186.89344898 So I am so happy to be here with you now, and also imagining into the future a bit. 25 00:02:09,216.89344898 --> 00:02:09,486.89344898 Mm-hmm. 26 00:02:10,506.89344898 --> 00:02:16,296.89344898 I'm excited for those adventures with us and with families and all of it. 27 00:02:17,136.89344898 --> 00:02:19,206.89344898 I'm gonna do a little bio introduction. 28 00:02:19,986.89344898 --> 00:02:20,106.89344898 Cool. 29 00:02:20,316.89344898 --> 00:02:25,416.89344898 So, Sarah Tacy is a nervous system specialist and former yoga educator. 30 00:02:25,446.89344898 --> 00:02:33,486.89344898 With over 20 years of experience helping people move from suppression to expression and from pain to possibility. 31 00:02:34,206.89344898 --> 00:02:45,246.89344898 Her work blends psychology, physiology, and subtle energy to support deep regulation, clarity and vitality through her programs like resourced and juice. 32 00:02:45,636.89344898 --> 00:02:48,696.89344898 I didn't know about juice and I'm excited to ask you about juice. 33 00:02:49,26.89344898 --> 00:02:52,686.89344898 Sarah guides women towards embodied power, truth and freedom. 34 00:02:52,926.89344898 --> 00:02:55,206.89344898 One aligned breath at a time. 35 00:02:58,716.89344898 --> 00:02:59,46.89344898 Love that. 36 00:02:59,46.89344898 --> 00:03:00,457.89344898 Can I send you that bio? That's good. 37 00:03:01,51.89344898 --> 00:03:01,431.89344898 You did. 38 00:03:02,531.89344898 --> 00:03:03,851.89344898 I was like, I should take notes. 39 00:03:03,851.89344898 --> 00:03:06,26.89344898 This is a really great description of what I do. 40 00:03:06,96.89344898 --> 00:03:07,26.89344898 I'll send it back to you. 41 00:03:09,166.89344898 --> 00:03:14,761.89344898 but I thought it might be nice to start, just where we began together, actually, our connections. 42 00:03:15,541.89344898 --> 00:03:24,181.89344898 Last year, last March for the spring equinox, we were both called to go to the arteries on a pilgrimage. 43 00:03:24,991.89344898 --> 00:03:26,611.89344898 And we didn't know each other before then. 44 00:03:27,221.89344898 --> 00:03:35,681.89344898 and there were a group of seven of us women that all went together that felt called to go on this real adventure of a lifetime, uh, where we all met in Edinburgh. 45 00:03:36,461.89344898 --> 00:03:39,841.89344898 And, we met in the Witchery right by Edinburgh Castle. 46 00:03:40,701.89344898 --> 00:03:42,441.89344898 that's the first time I met you in person. 47 00:03:42,541.89344898 --> 00:03:45,361.89344898 We'd met online as we were all prepping for this journey. 48 00:03:45,361.89344898 --> 00:03:48,991.89344898 And it was so fun, wasn't it? To be prepping our clothing. 49 00:03:48,991.89344898 --> 00:03:50,641.89344898 It just felt so conscious. 50 00:03:50,641.89344898 --> 00:03:57,871.89344898 All of this, it felt like a real, I mean, what did it feel like? It just felt like it was a real journey and for us to all take it very seriously. 51 00:03:58,141.89344898 --> 00:04:03,781.89344898 You know, we bought the tartans and we bought, we were dressed up as our goddess selves and just all of it. 52 00:04:03,871.89344898 --> 00:04:06,31.89344898 We jumped straight in, we jumped right in. 53 00:04:06,631.89344898 --> 00:04:06,931.89344898 yeah. 54 00:04:06,931.89344898 --> 00:04:08,136.8595692 And then we met in Edinburgh. 55 00:04:11,353.49563477 --> 00:04:13,693.49563477 A question I want to ask you. 56 00:04:14,73.49563477 --> 00:04:27,593.49563477 would you mind introducing what you do if you have some words just to, to bring everybody in so they can have an idea of what it is that you do, the offerings perhaps that you have just in a nutshell in this moment. 57 00:04:27,953.49563477 --> 00:04:32,783.49563477 and then I also just wanted to springboard off of that, of, of what brought you to this work. 58 00:04:32,813.49563477 --> 00:04:37,733.49563477 So what is it that you do? What's alive for you in your work and, and what brought you to it? Mm-hmm. 59 00:04:39,83.49563477 --> 00:04:43,163.49563477 I'm wondering if I might start in the other order of like, what brought me to it. 60 00:04:43,193.49563477 --> 00:04:43,253.49563477 Yeah. 61 00:04:44,153.49563477 --> 00:04:44,573.49563477 let's see. 62 00:04:44,633.49563477 --> 00:04:45,593.49563477 Let's see what comes out here. 63 00:04:46,283.49563477 --> 00:04:57,803.49563477 so as you said in the bio, I support people with their nervous system and with updating patterns that are more appropriate for where they're at in their life now. 64 00:04:57,893.49563477 --> 00:05:01,433.49563477 So our bodies are wildly intelligent. 65 00:05:02,303.49563477 --> 00:05:12,993.49563477 We have nervous systems, which I would say are our bodies protective systems, beyond our nervous system. 66 00:05:12,993.49563477 --> 00:05:16,953.49563477 Like when we feel regulated, it's more like, oh, now we might feel embodied. 67 00:05:16,953.49563477 --> 00:05:27,963.49563477 We might feel like we're connected to spirit, but the nervous system itself is often looking at patterns of what was safe, what felt unsafe. 68 00:05:28,908.49563477 --> 00:05:35,418.49563477 And it's wise and kind, but it's not always up to date with what is our new reality. 69 00:05:35,418.49563477 --> 00:05:47,628.49563477 So if when we were young, we had to always out that our survival technique, our highest technique was to always be kind and liked to get by. 70 00:05:47,628.49563477 --> 00:05:56,958.49563477 If you say one parent was volatile, some people their system was to like yell back or some people it was to like disappear. 71 00:05:57,288.49563477 --> 00:06:15,973.49563477 And we might find that we continue those patterns as adults and we might instead say, okay, what is real now? How do we signal safety to our bodies so that we can start to rewire in moments of retriggering mm-hmm. 72 00:06:16,38.49563477 --> 00:06:18,18.49563477 The past and playing it out in the future. 73 00:06:18,18.49563477 --> 00:06:18,108.49563477 Mm-hmm. 74 00:06:18,498.49563477 --> 00:06:19,548.49563477 Or in the present time. 75 00:06:19,548.49563477 --> 00:06:19,638.49563477 Mm-hmm. 76 00:06:21,393.49563477 --> 00:06:24,663.49563477 I got into this work I would say 20 years ago. 77 00:06:24,663.49563477 --> 00:06:30,93.49563477 I've been in this work in a variety of ways, and so I was an athlete. 78 00:06:30,933.49563477 --> 00:06:36,643.49563477 I played lacrosse, at the university level and always had injuries. 79 00:06:37,123.49563477 --> 00:06:45,553.49563477 And my first big injury, well, I had a lot of injuries, but the injury where I could not play through the pain was when I hurt my back mm-hmm. 80 00:06:45,793.49563477 --> 00:06:46,483.49563477 In high school. 81 00:06:46,483.49563477 --> 00:06:51,793.49563477 And literally just like teammates had to carry these recline, this reclining chair across the field. 82 00:06:51,793.49563477 --> 00:06:57,703.49563477 And I spent the whole season, you know, laying flat out on the side of the field. 83 00:06:57,703.49563477 --> 00:07:08,293.49563477 And it was the first time I had any experience of feeling depressed because I really identified as being a high performing athlete. 84 00:07:08,323.49563477 --> 00:07:19,813.49563477 And I identified as being a great student and a great friend, and chronic pain, drained so much energy, but also made it very hard to, I couldn't sit for a whole class and I, it was so hard to. 85 00:07:20,248.49563477 --> 00:07:25,258.49563477 Sit long enough to do my homework and I couldn't go out with my friends and I couldn't play the sports. 86 00:07:25,258.49563477 --> 00:07:32,998.49563477 And it was the first time I noticed, whew, when my body hurts, my mind hurts. 87 00:07:32,998.49563477 --> 00:07:34,498.49563477 Mm-hmm. 88 00:07:34,499.49563477 --> 00:07:39,898.49563477 And when my emotions feel as they do, so much energy is getting drained. 89 00:07:40,648.49563477 --> 00:07:51,628.49563477 And a year into it, after all the physical therapy and all, you know, I got into yoga and I really started to see the mind body connection. 90 00:07:51,628.49563477 --> 00:07:55,588.49563477 And I had been in school, thinking I would be a psychologist someday. 91 00:07:55,648.49563477 --> 00:08:05,68.49563477 And I was like, oh, I, I don't wanna sit on a couch and listen to people, like their bodies, in my opinion, need to be included in this journey. 92 00:08:05,368.49563477 --> 00:08:05,458.49563477 Mm-hmm. 93 00:08:05,938.49563477 --> 00:08:15,718.49563477 And I got really interested, I had different experiences with energy and energy healing where I was like, oh, there's an intelligent energy too. 94 00:08:15,748.49563477 --> 00:08:16,348.49563477 Wow. 95 00:08:16,648.49563477 --> 00:08:19,138.49563477 There are all these elements that go in and I. 96 00:08:19,873.49563477 --> 00:08:23,83.49563477 Uh, ended up doing research and development for a sports training facility. 97 00:08:23,113.49563477 --> 00:08:31,333.49563477 And the reason why I bring this up is because we were learning how to upregulate the nervous system, how to create new patterns. 98 00:08:31,333.49563477 --> 00:08:37,63.49563477 And some interesting things I learned was that we can't create new patterns in a state of fatigue. 99 00:08:37,843.49563477 --> 00:08:54,583.49563477 So if you think about how many societies are set up across the world, it is highly sought after to have someone who will work themselves into the ground and not take vacation and not take care of themselves. 100 00:08:54,583.49563477 --> 00:09:13,93.49563477 And what often happens in athletes, like in the physical body, but often in many of the people I work with too, you can go at this global high intensity activation level that's out of your range of regulation for a lifetime and be rewarded for it, but you're gonna be in. 101 00:09:13,513.49563477 --> 00:09:20,473.49563477 Old patterns, it's very hard to update your patterns to something more efficient, more pleasurable. 102 00:09:20,653.49563477 --> 00:09:20,743.49563477 Mm-hmm. 103 00:09:20,983.49563477 --> 00:09:24,43.49563477 More juicy when you are running on high all the time. 104 00:09:24,43.49563477 --> 00:09:27,13.49563477 So we fall into faulty patterns. 105 00:09:27,793.49563477 --> 00:09:37,693.49563477 and when we get feedback, if, if an athlete is on a high speed treadmill with a mirror directly in front of them, sprinting at 18 miles per hour, I don't know what that is. 106 00:09:38,563.49563477 --> 00:09:39,703.49563477 Oh, we, we do miles. 107 00:09:39,883.49563477 --> 00:09:40,573.49563477 Oh, you do? Okay. 108 00:09:42,43.49563477 --> 00:09:48,883.49563477 if I'm giving them feedback in the moment, the likelihood that they're going to make and keep the change is so much bigger. 109 00:09:48,883.49563477 --> 00:09:59,323.49563477 And so in Western psychology, what we're often doing is we're looking back at something that happened a week ago trying to make a change, and then. 110 00:09:59,728.49563477 --> 00:10:05,728.49563477 That doesn't get re-triggered for another three weeks, and it's very hard when you're in a calm state, you're like, oh yeah, you're right. 111 00:10:05,728.49563477 --> 00:10:09,88.49563477 That's a better way to handle it when my husband says X, Y, and Z. 112 00:10:09,448.49563477 --> 00:10:12,388.49563477 But as soon as you get triggered and your amygdala's hot mm-hmm. 113 00:10:12,658.49563477 --> 00:10:18,478.49563477 You know, the emotional part of your brain, it is hard to re-pattern. 114 00:10:18,568.49563477 --> 00:10:32,368.49563477 And so the reason why I love nervous system work and somatic work is that we can activate that memory, that space, and not flood. 115 00:10:32,638.49563477 --> 00:10:32,728.49563477 Mm-hmm. 116 00:10:32,968.49563477 --> 00:10:34,408.49563477 Activate like just enough. 117 00:10:34,468.49563477 --> 00:10:34,648.49563477 Mm-hmm. 118 00:10:34,978.49563477 --> 00:10:42,418.49563477 And then start to build resources and new ways of working with a pattern so that it's kind of in the moment or learning new things, which is why I loved yoga. 119 00:10:42,448.49563477 --> 00:10:42,538.49563477 Mm-hmm. 120 00:10:42,778.49563477 --> 00:10:50,248.49563477 I used to have a yoga teacher who would yell at me, she'd yelled at, she yelled it to the class, and it was literally what I. 121 00:10:50,933.49563477 --> 00:11:02,123.49563477 felt as a yell like, are you doing this out of love or are you doing this to prove something to somebody? And I was like, I'm totally trying to prove my self worth by holding this warrior too longer than everybody else. 122 00:11:02,513.49563477 --> 00:11:12,623.49563477 And when you, when you start thinking, am I doing this outta love or to prove something, then the answer of what is right next is never gonna be the same. 123 00:11:14,963.49563477 --> 00:11:23,813.49563477 So in the example of Warrior two, there are some days that holding longer than I think is possible is gonna show me that there's so much more possible than what I think. 124 00:11:24,113.49563477 --> 00:11:24,323.49563477 Mm-hmm. 125 00:11:24,893.49563477 --> 00:11:29,933.49563477 And there are other days where coming down into child's pose and resting mm-hmm. 126 00:11:30,173.49563477 --> 00:11:36,203.49563477 Or straightening out my leg for a little bit is gonna show me an element of self-love and care. 127 00:11:36,473.49563477 --> 00:11:36,593.49563477 Mm-hmm. 128 00:11:36,833.49563477 --> 00:11:38,363.49563477 That's appropriate for that day. 129 00:11:38,663.49563477 --> 00:11:38,783.49563477 Mm-hmm. 130 00:11:39,503.49563477 --> 00:11:47,843.49563477 so all of these things, you know, I, so I taught yoga and I taught yoga therapeutics, and I taught anatomy for 15 years. 131 00:11:48,848.49563477 --> 00:11:54,868.49563477 And then moved more and more into learning about trauma resolution and, somatics in that way. 132 00:11:56,278.49563477 --> 00:12:01,478.49563477 And so in many ways when I was working with my clients, we were always considering the nervous system. 133 00:12:01,538.49563477 --> 00:12:03,938.49563477 Were they underwhelmed or overwhelmed? Mm-hmm. 134 00:12:04,358.49563477 --> 00:12:08,648.49563477 You know, what does their body really need? And recognizing that it's never the same. 135 00:12:09,38.49563477 --> 00:12:09,188.49563477 Mm-hmm. 136 00:12:09,488.49563477 --> 00:12:26,558.49563477 So that was kind of a long, you know, the long the, what I do now, but also what brought me there, and maybe I'll add one more thing, is that one of the athletes I worked with, he was an Olympian and he was 19 years into his hockey career in the NHL. 137 00:12:26,558.49563477 --> 00:12:28,118.49563477 They won the Stanley Cup that year. 138 00:12:28,118.49563477 --> 00:12:33,908.49563477 So he was like a real, successful athlete who was still. 139 00:12:34,988.49563477 --> 00:12:43,988.49563477 Doing really well long after most athletes, last and so he said most hockey players when they come into the NHL, they'll last two to four years and they can run through a brick wall. 140 00:12:44,168.49563477 --> 00:12:44,348.49563477 Mm-hmm. 141 00:12:45,788.49563477 --> 00:12:51,578.49563477 He said, the reason why I've lasted this long is because I understand the importance of regeneration. 142 00:12:52,388.49563477 --> 00:12:57,428.49563477 So, you know, we're in there doing yoga and he is doing acupuncture and he's taking days off. 143 00:12:57,638.49563477 --> 00:12:57,728.49563477 Mm-hmm. 144 00:12:58,88.49563477 --> 00:13:07,868.49563477 and I just feel like that message that he gave me then is something that is so true for all of the people I work with now too. 145 00:13:07,898.49563477 --> 00:13:11,438.49563477 Like, are we running through brick walls? Are we trying to hold it all together? Mm-hmm. 146 00:13:12,578.49563477 --> 00:13:25,588.49563477 Are we finding or are we finding the juice in life? Are we finding the regenerative moments? And that just makes me wanna also say to the listeners that, when I ask these questions, it's not that we're, you're doing something wrong. 147 00:13:25,588.49563477 --> 00:13:27,928.49563477 If you're trying to hold it all together, congratulations. 148 00:13:28,78.49563477 --> 00:13:28,978.49563477 It's important work. 149 00:13:29,608.49563477 --> 00:13:30,538.49563477 Uh, and. 150 00:13:31,558.49563477 --> 00:13:39,838.49563477 Even just asking the question will start to trigger the reticular activating system a part of our brain that allows us to see something that's always been there. 151 00:13:40,258.49563477 --> 00:13:40,348.49563477 Mm-hmm. 152 00:13:40,588.49563477 --> 00:13:44,848.49563477 To see new possibilities of just one small step in a new direction. 153 00:13:45,178.49563477 --> 00:13:45,268.49563477 Mm-hmm. 154 00:13:45,838.49563477 --> 00:13:47,278.49563477 Which is almost imperceptible. 155 00:13:47,278.49563477 --> 00:13:51,403.49563477 Like, that won't change my life, but enough of those one degree turns mm-hmm. 156 00:13:51,593.49563477 --> 00:13:53,38.49563477 Make a massive difference. 157 00:13:53,98.49563477 --> 00:13:53,338.49563477 Mm-hmm. 158 00:13:55,108.49563477 --> 00:13:56,628.49563477 So, thank you for sharing that. 159 00:13:56,628.49563477 --> 00:14:12,208.49563477 I, what has been coming up for me with the nervous system is, you know, my understanding in my own body, I suppose for years was, to, you know, to stay calm to self-regulate. 160 00:14:12,308.49563477 --> 00:14:21,83.49563477 I, I always prided myself in kind of finding the silver lining and, okay, reroute, this is fine. 161 00:14:21,473.49563477 --> 00:14:22,103.49563477 No drama. 162 00:14:22,103.49563477 --> 00:14:23,453.49563477 We can reroute, you know, I'm. 163 00:14:23,903.49563477 --> 00:14:26,633.49563477 I'm generally that person, and I think that's a cool thing. 164 00:14:27,593.49563477 --> 00:14:50,493.49563477 and I have also taught for years, you know, how can you reduce tension in your jaw, in your forehead, in your neck and shoulders? And, and actually how can you allow yourself to be in a challenging environment? You might be holding a plank or doing 32 or whatever it is, and how can you find efficiency in your body so you know, you're not, just repeating patterns of stress. 165 00:14:51,603.49563477 --> 00:15:02,703.49563477 Because I realized after years of being a professional dancer, I was just one big ball of stress underneath, but it wasn't seen at all because I could make it look like nothing was going on. 166 00:15:03,273.49563477 --> 00:15:18,563.49563477 what was really fascinating to me was it really became a pattern, that I could just reroute and things could be said to me and I could, it would probably look like they washed over me. 167 00:15:18,998.49563477 --> 00:15:19,778.49563477 But they didn't. 168 00:15:20,258.49563477 --> 00:15:22,958.49563477 And I would just come into my body and breathe through it. 169 00:15:23,888.49563477 --> 00:15:27,848.49563477 And I actually thought that was a great thing because I was regulating my nervous system. 170 00:15:28,308.49563477 --> 00:15:41,128.49563477 and what I have realized over the last couple of years, and I think especially since our trip to Scotland and being with that particular group of women together was, oh, and this is suppression. 171 00:15:41,158.49563477 --> 00:15:42,748.49563477 This is what suppression is. 172 00:15:43,858.49563477 --> 00:16:03,628.49563477 And I know you and I have had a couple of conversations around moving from suppression to expression, and I'm really curious, just if, if you have any, I mean, I know you have lots of insights, but just the insights that are coming through in this moment around, because I'm very, I'm seeing 'em as two very different things. 173 00:16:03,708.49563477 --> 00:16:07,248.49563477 regulating yourself, bringing yourself back into your body. 174 00:16:07,668.49563477 --> 00:16:11,928.49563477 That doesn't mean that you have to tolerate a situation. 175 00:16:12,243.49563477 --> 00:16:20,413.49563477 That is in front of you, someone's behavior or, just putting up with something, you know, putting up with this job or this situation or being spoken to in a certain way. 176 00:16:20,923.49563477 --> 00:16:21,163.49563477 yeah. 177 00:16:21,163.49563477 --> 00:16:27,103.49563477 And going from that place of suppression to expression. 178 00:16:27,133.49563477 --> 00:16:30,823.49563477 And then I don't wanna ask too many questions, but I feel like this is looping round. 179 00:16:31,543.49563477 --> 00:16:42,133.4956348 Just that idea of, I suppose that's then uploading a new pattern or, maybe not uploading, but peeling back an old pattern to re reveal a new pattern. 180 00:16:42,133.4956348 --> 00:16:43,573.4956348 And that can feel uncomfortable. 181 00:16:43,573.4956348 --> 00:16:48,103.4956348 So if you are in your body and you say, no, not anymore. 182 00:16:49,173.4956348 --> 00:16:55,593.4956348 and you, you know, on a level it feels right, but on another level it's like, oh, I, I'm not familiar with this territory. 183 00:16:56,703.4956348 --> 00:16:57,213.4956348 Yeah. 184 00:16:57,303.4956348 --> 00:17:01,683.4956348 I dunno if I formulated that as a question, Sarah, but I'm just, I'm kind of curious. 185 00:17:01,683.4956348 --> 00:17:09,393.4956348 So this regulating nervous system piece of like releasing tension coming back into me. 186 00:17:11,148.4956348 --> 00:17:16,698.4956348 And then when you find yourself in a situation where you're like, no, like, no, this isn't working for me anymore. 187 00:17:16,758.4956348 --> 00:17:23,448.4956348 Like we spoke about last, uh, a couple of weeks ago when we chatted and I realized I need to holiday differently. 188 00:17:24,18.4956348 --> 00:17:29,508.4956348 I'm stressing myself out, staying in an Airbnb, cooking all the meals, every day I'm gonna have a breakdown. 189 00:17:29,808.4956348 --> 00:17:34,308.4956348 So, you know, you, so you start to realize I need to do something differently. 190 00:17:34,578.4956348 --> 00:17:40,848.4956348 And then, you know, you have to start to having, have the conversations around that and, you know, you have to step into a new pattern. 191 00:17:40,848.4956348 --> 00:17:46,518.4956348 Don't you have to step into a new reality, a new version of yourself? I'm just curious, you know, your thoughts on that. 192 00:17:47,448.4956348 --> 00:17:48,78.4956348 Yes. 193 00:17:48,138.4956348 --> 00:18:03,108.4956348 I wanna highlight, so just going from that idea that we can sometimes build in like good or bad, which I'm sure I've done with like the phrase suppression to expression or, right or wrong, and highlighting the wisdom I. 194 00:18:03,723.4956348 --> 00:18:10,83.4956348 Of your system to be able to be calm when someone else is chaotic. 195 00:18:11,253.4956348 --> 00:18:19,923.4956348 To be able to let something wash over you to the best of your ability and then to process when it's safe. 196 00:18:20,793.4956348 --> 00:18:29,103.4956348 So I often, and like, whoa, like people can lose their, like really lose it sometimes. 197 00:18:29,103.4956348 --> 00:18:34,863.4956348 And I am sometimes in awe because I'm so, what feels like so naturally calm. 198 00:18:36,243.4956348 --> 00:18:41,223.4956348 I feel like I can see from, I can see all the things that might be triggering them. 199 00:18:41,223.4956348 --> 00:18:46,743.4956348 I might even know a little bit or maybe assume something about their childhood, not take it personal. 200 00:18:47,43.4956348 --> 00:18:52,143.4956348 And then it's like once the threat is gone, then I actually feel the thing. 201 00:18:52,143.4956348 --> 00:18:56,973.4956348 So I'm like, oh, I guess I wasn't, like I wasn't fully calm 'cause like now I'm feeling it all. 202 00:18:57,483.4956348 --> 00:19:11,373.4956348 So I think there is some wisdoms that you're in public and something happens, or you're in a situation where someone is like bigger or stronger or where you might need some time in a safe place to process. 203 00:19:11,433.4956348 --> 00:19:11,523.4956348 Mm-hmm. 204 00:19:11,823.4956348 --> 00:19:22,653.4956348 And so I wanna highlight the wisdom in that there's a, you know, the, there are five different levels of freeze and one of them is deer in headlights. 205 00:19:23,823.4956348 --> 00:19:25,923.4956348 The first is owl, and the second is deer in headlights. 206 00:19:26,3.4956348 --> 00:19:32,843.4956348 and there's wisdom of just like pausing, keeping calm. 207 00:19:33,353.4956348 --> 00:19:40,223.4956348 And then when you recognize you're safe running off and then like shaking it out, right? Like it would be the whole little shake. 208 00:19:40,583.4956348 --> 00:19:41,513.4956348 There's wisdom there. 209 00:19:41,963.4956348 --> 00:19:51,593.4956348 And if we build it into our systems, if it becomes our only way of being, then slowly over time. 210 00:19:53,318.4956348 --> 00:19:54,608.4956348 We might. 211 00:19:54,608.4956348 --> 00:20:00,428.4956348 So the same thing that happens with moving into the version of that we want of ourselves is small, doable pieces over time. 212 00:20:00,458.4956348 --> 00:20:19,628.4956348 It's, uh, Bridgette Vixen saying small doable pieces over time, time, how that can make a huge change in who we are when we abandon our truth in tiny, almost imperceptible ways. 213 00:20:19,628.4956348 --> 00:20:31,418.4956348 Over time, there will be a day that we wake up and say, who am I? And we may resent the people around us. 214 00:20:32,498.4956348 --> 00:20:40,568.4956348 And my understanding of resentment is when we say yes to people, when our true answer is no. 215 00:20:42,578.4956348 --> 00:20:46,598.4956348 And the idea of having. 216 00:20:48,143.4956348 --> 00:20:49,223.4956348 Expression. 217 00:20:49,223.4956348 --> 00:20:57,113.4956348 So I'm thinking about in your class when you have people in a challenging situation, same thing in yoga classes, right? It's like you're in a twist, there's barely room to breathe. 218 00:20:57,383.4956348 --> 00:21:04,313.4956348 Can you find your breath? Or you're like in a hard arm balance? Can you find your center? There's something so beautiful and powerful to that. 219 00:21:04,313.4956348 --> 00:21:06,818.4956348 This is like, am I doing it out of love or to prove something, right? Mm-hmm. 220 00:21:06,903.4956348 --> 00:21:11,993.4956348 It's like, am I doing it out of love or out of fear? so there's a place for it. 221 00:21:12,683.4956348 --> 00:21:37,523.4956348 And, and, and, and I feel like some of my healing of like even moving away from how I understood yoga to be in the practices is can I notice that I exist in this scenario, right? Instead of like analyzing them and like breathe, like it's just like that I exist, that I have desires. 222 00:21:39,533.4956348 --> 00:21:55,43.4956348 And can I build the capacity over time to express those desires? Or if something makes me rageful, can I have a space where I can stomp? Or like ha, like it doesn't, people talk about screaming into pillows. 223 00:21:55,423.4956348 --> 00:21:56,743.4956348 that could work for some people. 224 00:21:57,523.4956348 --> 00:22:00,643.4956348 And uh, it could also hurt your vocal chords. 225 00:22:00,763.4956348 --> 00:22:17,3.4956348 So, sometimes making the facial gesture and some of the similar, like, ah, like where I'm like pushing from my belly, our body emotions, they need to emote the emotions need to be in motion. 226 00:22:17,3.4956348 --> 00:22:17,93.4956348 Mm-hmm. 227 00:22:17,333.4956348 --> 00:22:30,773.4956348 And so when we are pushing the emotions down, what often happens is that we appear calm and then we either keep going into deeper stages of numbing or we lash out at people who don't deserve it. 228 00:22:30,773.4956348 --> 00:22:35,393.4956348 People who might be weaker than us in the moment, or people who are safe to lash out at. 229 00:22:36,293.4956348 --> 00:22:41,63.4956348 And so having ways to express our anger and express our frustration. 230 00:22:41,63.4956348 --> 00:22:44,603.4956348 And we can do that with dance, right? We can do that. 231 00:22:44,603.4956348 --> 00:22:51,413.4956348 I don't actually know flamenco well, but is there like a lot of heel thudding, like Yes. 232 00:22:51,413.4956348 --> 00:22:56,543.4956348 So much and so much rhythm and just movement and, and it's like snapping and about how it looks. 233 00:22:56,543.4956348 --> 00:23:04,233.4956348 It's the feeling and the, yes, there's different styles, but I love that about it, that it's, it's about being in your body and being in the vibe of it. 234 00:23:04,713.4956348 --> 00:23:05,224.4956348 Yes, yes. 235 00:23:05,713.4956348 --> 00:23:14,413.4956348 and as you and I spoke before, there are things that our ancestors knew to do that were woven in to our day to day. 236 00:23:14,413.4956348 --> 00:23:20,833.4956348 So these days it's like, oh, people are going to Zumba classes and they're going to like learn choreography. 237 00:23:20,833.4956348 --> 00:23:28,813.4956348 And I feel like that's sometimes a safe way or a way that our society says like, okay, to get into your body. 238 00:23:29,788.4956348 --> 00:23:38,818.4956348 But like when we just circled around fires and people were drumming their drums and we're just moving our bodies, right? Like that's important. 239 00:23:39,118.4956348 --> 00:23:39,208.4956348 Mm-hmm. 240 00:23:40,18.4956348 --> 00:23:44,398.4956348 That is expression that doesn't need to always be spoken. 241 00:23:44,488.4956348 --> 00:23:44,848.4956348 Like it. 242 00:23:45,58.4956348 --> 00:24:04,858.4956348 We think that the only way to deal with our anger sometimes is like we need to talk it all out, which I do believe in communication, but if we're using communication as our only outlet for our anger, for our frustration, or we're using our breath only to suppress, as opposed to also doing breath practices that are ha ha. 243 00:24:05,8.4956348 --> 00:24:06,538.4956348 You know, like to get it out. 244 00:24:08,68.4956348 --> 00:24:23,8.4956348 Our nervous systems are a title, right? They, they need expansion and contraction and, you know, in our industries, I think it's really, it's so sexy to talk about like, how do I expand my nervous system for expansion? But we don't often talk about like. 245 00:24:24,703.4956348 --> 00:24:33,103.4956348 The capacity to go into contraction or, uh, we all, most of us want calm because lack of calm can feel really uncomfortable. 246 00:24:33,343.4956348 --> 00:24:37,603.4956348 How do we move instead of trying to hold chaotic energy? Mm-hmm. 247 00:24:37,843.4956348 --> 00:24:39,228.4956348 How do we move? Mm-hmm. 248 00:24:39,528.4956348 --> 00:24:41,233.4956348 The energy Love this so much. 249 00:24:41,233.4956348 --> 00:24:44,443.4956348 So I'm feeling and not meaning to interrupt, just Yes. 250 00:24:44,653.4956348 --> 00:24:45,763.4956348 What's just coming through. 251 00:24:45,763.4956348 --> 00:24:55,273.4956348 Just there is, so, it's not about just being calm, it's about feeling and calm is a choice and it's a, a frequency that we can tune into. 252 00:24:56,223.4956348 --> 00:25:11,583.4956348 and it could just be in this moment, I actually, it feels safe to be calm and this is how I'm just gonna process this level of it, but I'm not just gonna leave it there because then it will sit in my body and over time I will experience disease and resentment and anger, et cetera. 253 00:25:12,183.4956348 --> 00:25:17,73.4956348 So then it's having the tools in your life that you can, you can emote and you can move it through. 254 00:25:17,763.4956348 --> 00:25:18,363.4956348 I, yeah. 255 00:25:18,363.4956348 --> 00:25:19,863.4956348 I love this so much. 256 00:25:19,863.4956348 --> 00:25:20,913.4956348 I, yeah. 257 00:25:20,913.4956348 --> 00:25:30,453.4956348 And what are those places in between? So again, I'm not here to shame calm because I like what a gift to ever truly feel embodied and calm. 258 00:25:32,133.4956348 --> 00:25:36,183.4956348 I think sometimes it's like disembodied to a peer calm, right. 259 00:25:36,463.4956348 --> 00:25:45,703.4956348 to really feel calm, what a gift and when something chaotic arises and to really feel like, oh, I can shift. 260 00:25:46,63.4956348 --> 00:25:50,383.4956348 And what now that is a beautiful skill and gift. 261 00:25:52,273.4956348 --> 00:25:54,793.4956348 Everything has a hyper hypo and a middle. 262 00:25:55,273.4956348 --> 00:26:01,93.4956348 And so if you are always shifting to accommodate everyone else, then you lose yourself in the process. 263 00:26:01,93.4956348 --> 00:26:01,94.4956348 Mm-hmm. 264 00:26:02,443.4956348 --> 00:26:06,583.4956348 If there's the hypo of like, I will never shift, right. 265 00:26:06,853.4956348 --> 00:26:09,73.4956348 The hypo means like that part's frozen. 266 00:26:09,343.4956348 --> 00:26:09,433.4956348 Mm-hmm. 267 00:26:09,673.4956348 --> 00:26:16,183.4956348 And then the middle ground is like, I exist and as I exist. 268 00:26:16,558.4956348 --> 00:26:28,168.4956348 In this interdependent ecosystem, how will I shift and be dynamic? Mm-hmm. 269 00:26:29,308.4956348 --> 00:26:30,88.4956348 And yeah. 270 00:26:30,88.4956348 --> 00:26:34,258.4956348 And so sometimes we get to be calm and sometimes we get to have bigger feelings. 271 00:26:34,558.4956348 --> 00:26:39,178.4956348 But if we we're thinking that the only right in good way is calm mm-hmm. 272 00:26:40,648.4956348 --> 00:26:46,828.4956348 Then all the other emotions become shadows and shadows tend to come out sideways. 273 00:26:46,828.4956348 --> 00:26:50,548.4956348 And they tend to affect our lives more than we comprehend. 274 00:26:52,468.4956348 --> 00:26:55,908.4956348 I'm seeing, you know, like a painting with so much depth. 275 00:26:55,943.4956348 --> 00:26:56,163.4956348 Mm. 276 00:26:57,78.4956348 --> 00:27:01,68.4956348 Or it, you know, I talk a lot about variability in the body. 277 00:27:01,178.4956348 --> 00:27:03,398.4956348 and that's what the body really needs to be. 278 00:27:03,848.4956348 --> 00:27:04,418.4956348 Healthy. 279 00:27:04,418.4956348 --> 00:27:07,358.4956348 It's like, well, it is not this posture that is the ideal posture. 280 00:27:07,628.4956348 --> 00:27:08,828.4956348 You need to have variability. 281 00:27:08,918.4956348 --> 00:27:14,408.4956348 And it's fine to stand like this as long as you can also stand like this, as long as you can also stand like, you know, it's, it's variability. 282 00:27:14,988.4956348 --> 00:27:22,38.4956348 and that's what I'm sensing with this flexible, elastic, nervous system that can do all of these things. 283 00:27:22,38.4956348 --> 00:27:26,358.4956348 That it can, it can rebound if it needs to, and it can express and it can be calm. 284 00:27:26,358.4956348 --> 00:27:28,278.4956348 And it, and I really love that. 285 00:27:28,278.4956348 --> 00:27:37,818.4956348 And I, I really hope that we start to see more and more of this being celebrated, rather than just the holding it all together, holding it down. 286 00:27:37,818.4956348 --> 00:27:38,388.4956348 Perfect. 287 00:27:38,393.4956348 --> 00:27:40,428.4956348 Instagram life being celebrated. 288 00:27:42,498.4956348 --> 00:27:48,738.4956348 I am having two th well, first of all, I love how you're bringing that into the body and yes. 289 00:27:48,738.4956348 --> 00:27:50,988.4956348 That range and that variability. 290 00:27:51,288.4956348 --> 00:27:57,48.4956348 So I guess there were three things, and one man that I interviewed on my podcast, his name is Don St. 291 00:27:57,48.4956348 --> 00:27:57,498.4956348 John. 292 00:27:57,963.4956348 --> 00:27:58,323.4956348 Dr. 293 00:27:58,323.4956348 --> 00:27:58,803.4956348 Don St. 294 00:27:58,803.4956348 --> 00:28:06,813.4956348 John, and he was talking about how when we suppress our emotions, our faces never learn how to make that expression. 295 00:28:07,563.4956348 --> 00:28:11,883.4956348 And so our mo and if it's true for our faces, it's probably true in our bodies too. 296 00:28:12,423.4956348 --> 00:28:18,723.4956348 So without that like contraction in the release of the contraction, right, then everything just starts to solidify. 297 00:28:18,963.4956348 --> 00:28:34,223.4956348 Or, another mentor friend of mine, Therese Jolin, talks about how if we're not having the full death life cycles, that we start to calcify and we start walking around like zombies because we're not like letting something fully die and then come back to life. 298 00:28:34,223.4956348 --> 00:28:36,713.4956348 So this like variability, this cyclical living. 299 00:28:36,923.4956348 --> 00:28:37,13.4956348 Mm-hmm. 300 00:28:37,343.4956348 --> 00:28:42,623.4956348 and the face, the reason why I did that is 'cause we often talk about the variability in the body. 301 00:28:42,953.4956348 --> 00:28:51,953.4956348 And I've been really interested now in like, oh, what if I just like invite in more facial? Like I find myself being, as you're talking about. 302 00:28:52,373.4956348 --> 00:28:58,973.4956348 Like making more faces like, you know, kids make as opposed to like, this is it, it's a very pleasant face. 303 00:28:59,183.4956348 --> 00:29:01,913.4956348 You know, like, uh, yeah. 304 00:29:01,913.4956348 --> 00:29:07,283.4956348 There are so many ways that we, that we get to, that we get to tune into that and into that variability. 305 00:29:07,403.4956348 --> 00:29:21,473.4956348 So then I know the, the other thing I was thinking about is that on Mother's Day I was feeling this really big wave of loneliness and it had been happening for the two days before it, and I was like a day before my cycle. 306 00:29:21,473.4956348 --> 00:29:28,403.4956348 So I knew that the week prior to that was one of like the best weeks of my life, seeing like all the people I love the most. 307 00:29:28,403.4956348 --> 00:29:28,643.4956348 Right. 308 00:29:28,643.4956348 --> 00:29:38,123.4956348 And so there is a hormonal come down from like day after day after day of just these amazing events and amazing people. 309 00:29:38,198.4956348 --> 00:29:38,618.4956348 Mm-hmm. 310 00:29:38,843.4956348 --> 00:29:40,853.4956348 something shifts when I am like. 311 00:29:41,123.4956348 --> 00:29:42,173.4956348 Super resourced. 312 00:29:42,173.4956348 --> 00:29:50,503.4956348 So the resources get lower, the demands get higher of being home, getting the kids to school dinners, the client sessions, you know, all the things. 313 00:29:51,283.4956348 --> 00:29:54,373.4956348 it was the first Mother's day that I didn't see my mother and grandmother. 314 00:29:54,373.4956348 --> 00:30:01,633.4956348 There were just like a, there were things that were stacking and I could judge myself and be like, you're a nervous system specialist. 315 00:30:01,873.4956348 --> 00:30:09,423.4956348 How come you can't just like, tap on your chest or put your hands on your heart and and be fine and you'll be fine. 316 00:30:09,723.4956348 --> 00:30:12,213.4956348 And I did, like, I went for a run with my girlfriends that morning. 317 00:30:12,213.4956348 --> 00:30:14,973.4956348 We did an ocean dip and I, it was so helpful. 318 00:30:15,303.4956348 --> 00:30:20,973.4956348 there were, I went for a walk in the woods and I widened my perception, which is another thing that is helpful in mul, multiple layers. 319 00:30:20,973.4956348 --> 00:30:33,753.4956348 I did do hands to heart, so I did these things that titrated in some regulation, but I really got to sit with a depth of the grief. 320 00:30:36,213.4956348 --> 00:30:37,563.4956348 Of the lack of village. 321 00:30:37,953.4956348 --> 00:30:41,553.4956348 I have so many friends, so many beautiful friends. 322 00:30:42,543.4956348 --> 00:30:53,403.4956348 And part of what I think I was grieving was more of this like, collective get how it's not built into society, right? It's not cooking together, it's not dancing together. 323 00:30:53,433.4956348 --> 00:31:14,453.4956348 The scheduling that has to go into like just meeting up with a girlfriend, how stressful it can be for me to, hold all the schedules as opposed to, and so what it did for me is that I, because I was able to really sit with a deeply uncomfortable, I'm telling you this was like volume up. 324 00:31:14,483.4956348 --> 00:31:14,573.4956348 Mm-hmm. 325 00:31:15,143.4956348 --> 00:31:19,583.4956348 On grief and isolation and loneliness. 326 00:31:19,683.4956348 --> 00:31:27,243.4956348 Even though like my husband was in the kitchen cooking dinner so that I, you know, we could all have friends over that evening and my girls were out playing. 327 00:31:27,243.4956348 --> 00:31:36,213.4956348 I was like on a swing on the swing side by myself, and a friend came out back and she was like, Hey, what's going on? I'm like, I'm just feeling so lonely. 328 00:31:36,823.4956348 --> 00:31:38,323.4956348 and she gave me a hug and it was beautiful. 329 00:31:38,323.4956348 --> 00:31:44,913.4956348 But it, it helped me to clarify so many things about like, oh, I might wanna record some of my podcasts in person. 330 00:31:44,943.4956348 --> 00:31:52,113.4956348 I might ask a friend if she'll do like on Mondays from nine to 12, if we can just do coworking space together and maybe cook on Mondays. 331 00:31:52,713.4956348 --> 00:31:56,463.4956348 I don't need to make my life more complicated. 332 00:31:56,463.4956348 --> 00:32:13,443.4956348 But it, being able to sit in the discomfort of that feeling, having that feeling turned up enough, helps me to see a truth that I can't see when I'm just like super resourced and super regulated. 333 00:32:13,878.4956348 --> 00:32:27,168.4956348 Those moments of dysregulation can show us, could show me areas of life that I can attune to and adjust to and make a few new decisions for that will make my life more juicy. 334 00:32:27,438.4956348 --> 00:32:27,558.4956348 Yeah. 335 00:32:28,698.4956348 --> 00:32:35,718.4956348 I really had, like, I, I got so much wisdom and not in the moment, like in the moment it just, uh, just kind of sucked. 336 00:32:35,718.4956348 --> 00:32:36,498.4956348 It was hard. 337 00:32:36,763.4956348 --> 00:32:37,183.4956348 Mm-hmm. 338 00:32:37,428.4956348 --> 00:32:40,518.4956348 and so there, I I just think there's so much richness. 339 00:32:40,878.4956348 --> 00:32:41,208.4956348 Yeah. 340 00:32:41,208.4956348 --> 00:32:44,688.4956348 And not to say that being able to like be with the discomfort of those feelings. 341 00:32:44,688.4956348 --> 00:32:44,748.4956348 Yeah. 342 00:32:44,748.4956348 --> 00:32:49,698.4956348 And we can resource ourselves when they're coming up, but they don't necessarily go away right away. 343 00:32:50,748.4956348 --> 00:32:59,138.4956348 And that there is so much beauty Well, wisdom actually in, in those that is, it's an opportunity, isn't it? I feel, yeah. 344 00:32:59,138.4956348 --> 00:32:59,948.4956348 A lot of the time. 345 00:33:00,8.4956348 --> 00:33:00,668.4956348 Similar with me. 346 00:33:00,668.4956348 --> 00:33:09,158.4956348 Like, why, why am I feeling tired? I mean, actually I just love having a little nap every now and then, we'll talk about the naps in a minute and that I'm, I'm kind of cool with being tired, but. 347 00:33:09,488.4956348 --> 00:33:35,678.4956348 Yeah, perhaps more like, why am I feeling low? Or why am I feeling annoyed? Like, what, what is wrong with me? What is wrong with me for feeling like this? And then actually just to peel back the layer of what's my life trying to tell me what, yeah, what's the next, what's the next truth? And I'm sure that truth for you has, has been a beautiful truth for your friend that gets to hang out with you on a Monday, you know, in those, in those hours and cook with you. 348 00:33:35,678.4956348 --> 00:33:41,918.4956348 And, uh, yeah, I think that that's really beautiful that it's not like we always have to be fine. 349 00:33:42,428.4956348 --> 00:33:49,688.4956348 Of course we don't, but it's very convenient on a level when we are just fine and when we can shoulder everything we carry on. 350 00:33:49,688.4956348 --> 00:33:50,673.4956348 It's a very convenient drive. 351 00:33:50,673.4956348 --> 00:33:51,153.4956348 It's so convenient. 352 00:33:51,308.4956348 --> 00:33:54,278.4956348 Everyone around us, we just, you know, soldier on through. 353 00:33:55,388.4956348 --> 00:34:06,128.4956348 So it's convenient, but it's, there isn't the texture and the wisdom and the changing of patterns, like going back to that changing of patterns can't actually happen when you're just like robotic. 354 00:34:06,473.4956348 --> 00:34:07,583.4956348 Going through the motions. 355 00:34:07,883.4956348 --> 00:34:10,133.4956348 I think that's often when the body really says, no. 356 00:34:10,133.4956348 --> 00:34:13,403.4956348 I'm, I'm listening to gabel mats when the body says no at the moment. 357 00:34:13,883.4956348 --> 00:34:16,163.4956348 and it's, it's when you haven't listened. 358 00:34:16,163.4956348 --> 00:34:17,993.4956348 So the body has to say no. 359 00:34:18,773.4956348 --> 00:34:29,393.4956348 And what I'm hearing is your work is this listening like moment to moment listening, daily listening and listening to the joy and listening to the, everything in between. 360 00:34:30,323.4956348 --> 00:34:42,203.4956348 The sadness, the heaviness, the all of the textures of sensation and emotion and actually coming back to our animal bodies and really being, really being guided by that and their intuition. 361 00:34:42,828.4956348 --> 00:34:45,53.4956348 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 362 00:34:45,53.4956348 --> 00:34:48,478.4956348 That moving from familiar to optimal mm-hmm. 363 00:34:49,643.4956348 --> 00:34:52,373.4956348 Is interesting. 364 00:34:52,373.4956348 --> 00:35:00,143.4956348 I interviewed somebody once on my podcast and I was expecting, because I often think of moving from familiar to optimal, to be very uncomfortable. 365 00:35:00,818.4956348 --> 00:35:06,38.4956348 Uh, it often feels very unsafe to the nervous system, even if you're moving to an upgraded pattern. 366 00:35:06,338.4956348 --> 00:35:06,428.4956348 Mm-hmm. 367 00:35:06,458.4956348 --> 00:35:09,548.4956348 It is expensive energetically mm-hmm. 368 00:35:10,88.4956348 --> 00:35:13,328.4956348 For a body to update programming. 369 00:35:13,418.4956348 --> 00:35:13,508.4956348 Mm-hmm. 370 00:35:13,958.4956348 --> 00:35:32,948.4956348 my friend Kate Northrop will also often talked about like, if you have a house that was built in the 18 hundreds and you need to rewire it and you've gotta take down walls, you gotta like, and on a cellular level, the way I see it is that we actually feel withdrawal at the cellular level. 371 00:35:32,948.4956348 --> 00:35:44,128.4956348 We have, receptors on our cells that are waiting for certain ligands, molecules of emotion to meet them in order to feel safe and good and set. 372 00:35:45,88.4956348 --> 00:35:51,328.4956348 And when we change our pattern, the same ligand won't be there to meet the receptor. 373 00:35:51,333.4956348 --> 00:35:51,463.4956348 Mm-hmm. 374 00:35:51,803.4956348 --> 00:35:55,348.4956348 And it can feel like abandonment and it can feel like withdrawal. 375 00:35:56,233.4956348 --> 00:36:05,563.4956348 So there is that idea that sometimes we are more comfortable with a familiar hell than we are with the possibility of a heaven. 376 00:36:06,793.4956348 --> 00:36:14,653.4956348 But what I notice, especially within relationships, is that when we change, so when we are no longer, just like, I'm good. 377 00:36:14,833.4956348 --> 00:36:16,603.4956348 I'll change my way for your way. 378 00:36:16,813.4956348 --> 00:36:20,743.4956348 I know this thing's important to you, so I'll just let this thing of mine go. 379 00:36:21,283.4956348 --> 00:36:35,623.4956348 when we say, this thing is important to me and I know that thing's important to you, I'm gonna do this thing that's important to me, I'm going to prioritize myself on a cellular level. 380 00:36:35,623.4956348 --> 00:36:45,13.4956348 What that can feel like at first is like you have built a wall between you and a person you love or you, and a pattern that has worked before. 381 00:36:45,643.4956348 --> 00:36:47,173.4956348 And we don't actually know. 382 00:36:47,173.4956348 --> 00:36:51,793.4956348 What makes it vulnerable is we don't actually know if the person will say, oh, I'll update my pattern too. 383 00:36:53,83.4956348 --> 00:36:53,383.4956348 Yeah. 384 00:36:53,443.4956348 --> 00:36:59,23.4956348 Because I actually want you to listen to your inner wisdoms. 385 00:36:59,23.4956348 --> 00:37:01,633.4956348 I want you to know what turns you on. 386 00:37:02,443.4956348 --> 00:37:03,763.4956348 I want what's best for you. 387 00:37:03,763.4956348 --> 00:37:06,103.4956348 And in that, what's best for us, right. 388 00:37:06,523.4956348 --> 00:37:11,203.4956348 For them it can feel like, oh, she's abandoning me, or she doesn't care about me anymore. 389 00:37:11,203.4956348 --> 00:37:11,653.4956348 Like Right. 390 00:37:11,653.4956348 --> 00:37:14,803.4956348 And so I say sometimes it feels like a wall before a bridge. 391 00:37:15,193.4956348 --> 00:37:15,253.4956348 Yeah. 392 00:37:15,253.4956348 --> 00:37:16,123.4956348 Relationally. 393 00:37:16,613.4956348 --> 00:37:22,43.4956348 and I have found it to be deeply uncomfortable over time with my husband. 394 00:37:22,763.4956348 --> 00:37:24,923.4956348 we have such a better understanding. 395 00:37:25,283.4956348 --> 00:37:31,73.4956348 We like really want quality time together and we both really honor. 396 00:37:31,613.4956348 --> 00:37:35,873.4956348 What is needed for the depth of the other's soul or joy or happiness. 397 00:37:36,503.4956348 --> 00:37:44,843.4956348 And it took some building of like, just because I'm not going to this thing with you does not mean that I am no longer in love with you or that I am. 398 00:37:44,843.4956348 --> 00:37:45,83.4956348 Right. 399 00:37:45,83.4956348 --> 00:37:52,853.4956348 Like, it's like, uh, uncoupling certain beliefs that come or that have come with us abandoning ourselves for somebody else. 400 00:37:52,853.4956348 --> 00:37:52,913.4956348 Yeah. 401 00:37:52,943.4956348 --> 00:37:59,603.4956348 And then moving towards claiming our truth without saying, now I can't be a part of the ecosystem. 402 00:37:59,813.4956348 --> 00:37:59,993.4956348 Mm-hmm. 403 00:38:00,833.4956348 --> 00:38:03,468.4956348 But it is saying, what ecosystem can I be a part of? Mm-hmm. 404 00:38:03,553.4956348 --> 00:38:05,933.4956348 Because that e that other one probably doesn't work anymore. 405 00:38:05,993.4956348 --> 00:38:06,533.4956348 Mm-hmm. 406 00:38:08,98.4956348 --> 00:38:08,388.4956348 Yeah. 407 00:38:08,408.4956348 --> 00:38:17,183.4956348 And, and it's being brave, isn't it? 'cause like you said, you, you can't see, I know we've both recently read the book, let Them, and it's that it's like, this is important to me. 408 00:38:17,753.4956348 --> 00:38:26,423.4956348 I'm gonna share this from my heart and then let them, or let it unfold as it will instead of me controlling. 409 00:38:27,173.4956348 --> 00:38:27,533.4956348 Mm-hmm. 410 00:38:27,983.4956348 --> 00:38:30,143.4956348 And, and or changing to fit into this pattern. 411 00:38:30,143.4956348 --> 00:38:32,453.4956348 So it just doesn't change too much that it freaks me out. 412 00:38:35,123.4956348 --> 00:38:35,603.4956348 Yeah, absolutely. 413 00:38:35,603.4956348 --> 00:38:35,723.4956348 Great. 414 00:38:35,723.4956348 --> 00:38:36,263.4956348 Good work. 415 00:38:36,413.4956348 --> 00:38:40,523.4956348 And I think it's so, incredible when you see other people doing it. 416 00:38:40,613.4956348 --> 00:38:54,893.4956348 I was interviewed for a podcast yesterday and one of the questions was, what is the best advice you've been given by, you know, somebody, a Pilates tea? And I was like, I don't seem to remember advice in a sentence, but I feel like I feel advice. 417 00:38:54,893.4956348 --> 00:39:06,678.4956348 You know, I feel like I'm, I may remember conversations that you and I have had, but it's the imprint of seeing you move through that situation, and your behavior around it. 418 00:39:06,678.4956348 --> 00:39:09,18.4956348 That's the imprint and that's the advice. 419 00:39:09,18.4956348 --> 00:39:20,628.4956348 And I just feel like, you know, when more and more of us humans, women, but humans are doing this and looking after ourselves and tuning into the complexities of us. 420 00:39:21,483.4956348 --> 00:39:30,213.4956348 And the depth of us and really starting to really, truly, fully understand us and our needs and putting them forwards. 421 00:39:31,773.4956348 --> 00:39:35,73.4956348 I think I just feel like it making each of us making a stand. 422 00:39:35,73.4956348 --> 00:39:39,873.4956348 It really, it, it starts to build a new reality for everybody, not just for ourselves. 423 00:39:39,963.4956348 --> 00:39:43,263.4956348 I guess it's that beautiful image of the Mycelial network. 424 00:39:43,743.4956348 --> 00:39:50,403.4956348 we, little by little, each of us tuning into a new frequency helps for it to vibrate stronger. 425 00:39:50,408.4956348 --> 00:39:50,618.4956348 Yes. 426 00:39:51,183.4956348 --> 00:39:51,573.4956348 Yes. 427 00:39:51,573.4956348 --> 00:39:58,383.4956348 Like an oak tree gets to be an oak tree and an ash tree gets to be an ash tree and they have it all. 428 00:39:58,383.4956348 --> 00:40:07,563.4956348 And there get to be insects and woodpeckers and you know, like there get to be all of these different things that are fully themselves that don't need to like be more of something else. 429 00:40:07,653.4956348 --> 00:40:07,863.4956348 Yeah. 430 00:40:07,893.4956348 --> 00:40:09,483.4956348 To fit into the ecosystem. 431 00:40:09,933.4956348 --> 00:40:15,633.4956348 I'm also thinking about when you say you learn from watching others or just like feeling others, hold that. 432 00:40:16,383.4956348 --> 00:40:17,253.4956348 Frequency. 433 00:40:18,33.4956348 --> 00:40:29,673.4956348 I think about in Glennon Doyle's book, untamed, when she talks about she was braiding her daughter's hair or she was about to do her daughter's hair, and her daughter said, I want to do my hair like yours. 434 00:40:29,673.4956348 --> 00:40:30,213.4956348 I want you to do it. 435 00:40:30,243.4956348 --> 00:40:30,483.4956348 Yeah. 436 00:40:30,873.4956348 --> 00:40:37,263.4956348 And in that moment, Glennon realized at that point she was staying in her marriage for the sake of her kids. 437 00:40:37,983.4956348 --> 00:40:44,253.4956348 And she was like, oh, this idea as mothers, that we like do everything for the sake of our kids. 438 00:40:45,93.4956348 --> 00:40:50,553.4956348 We are also then teaching them to abandon themselves when they become mothers. 439 00:40:51,543.4956348 --> 00:40:57,993.4956348 And so if I'm really gonna be honest for the sake of my kids, then I'm gonna show them a woman who is living her life fully. 440 00:40:59,163.4956348 --> 00:41:03,123.4956348 Tell Darden once said, self-care is the basis of community care. 441 00:41:03,783.4956348 --> 00:41:09,483.4956348 And so I think the all or nothing fear around it is like. 442 00:41:09,993.4956348 --> 00:41:11,373.4956348 I only care about myself. 443 00:41:11,583.4956348 --> 00:41:12,933.4956348 It's all about sovereignty. 444 00:41:13,173.4956348 --> 00:41:14,763.4956348 And who cares about everybody else. 445 00:41:14,763.4956348 --> 00:41:26,583.4956348 Like, and even, Mel Robbins says, and let them like this isn't, if you always say let them without the, let me, without the inquiry into your own process, then you're just always feeling like higher than everybody else. 446 00:41:26,583.4956348 --> 00:41:27,933.4956348 And you become very isolated. 447 00:41:28,353.4956348 --> 00:41:29,73.4956348 And so is it. 448 00:41:29,73.4956348 --> 00:41:38,943.4956348 It's like, how do we not self abandon and notice how we are in this network? So yes, it's gonna be way harder for Glennon Doyle's kids upfront. 449 00:41:40,23.4956348 --> 00:41:43,23.4956348 For her to claim her truth of this marriage no longer works. 450 00:41:43,743.4956348 --> 00:41:51,33.4956348 It's gonna be hard, but then she gets to show up and say like, Anne, I'm still gonna show you how I show up for myself and for you. 451 00:41:51,843.4956348 --> 00:41:53,763.4956348 Right? But not ever abandoning myself. 452 00:41:53,763.4956348 --> 00:41:56,523.4956348 And she even said to her kids like, never. 453 00:41:56,943.4956348 --> 00:41:58,473.4956348 These were not her exact words. 454 00:41:58,503.4956348 --> 00:42:06,33.4956348 It wasn't abandoned, but it was along the lines of always follow your needs first. 455 00:42:06,33.4956348 --> 00:42:06,363.4956348 And. 456 00:42:06,723.4956348 --> 00:42:09,573.4956348 Their kids were like, even, even with you. 457 00:42:09,783.4956348 --> 00:42:11,733.4956348 And she's like, yes, especially with me. 458 00:42:12,723.4956348 --> 00:42:17,343.4956348 and so that, yeah, that feels really big and very unfamiliar. 459 00:42:17,373.4956348 --> 00:42:19,143.4956348 Going from optimal to familiar. 460 00:42:19,653.4956348 --> 00:42:23,373.4956348 Are familiar to optimal, very unfamiliar for most women. 461 00:42:23,373.4956348 --> 00:42:26,493.4956348 Most women live in the hyper social. 462 00:42:26,733.4956348 --> 00:42:34,143.4956348 So again, it's out of our range of resonance, out of our range of choice, embodied choice, which is I'm okay when you're, okay. 463 00:42:35,868.4956348 --> 00:42:36,158.4956348 Yeah. 464 00:42:37,353.4956348 --> 00:42:40,293.4956348 When I first heard of that, I was like, oh, I thought that was just universal truth. 465 00:42:40,293.4956348 --> 00:42:53,973.4956348 And I'm like, oh, I can just be okay when I'm okay and somebody can be having a hard time, and I can attune to myself and find myself and my experience, and then possibly show up for another. 466 00:42:55,113.4956348 --> 00:42:55,173.4956348 Yeah. 467 00:42:56,643.4956348 --> 00:43:02,103.4956348 It's a really, it's a, I think it's a possibility for a beautiful future. 468 00:43:04,413.4956348 --> 00:43:04,803.4956348 Yeah. 469 00:43:05,388.4956348 --> 00:43:07,638.4956348 Yeah, I really, I think women are generous by nature. 470 00:43:08,328.4956348 --> 00:43:15,108.4956348 So if we say, well, what if I start with self-care, the generosity will still overflow and the community will still matter. 471 00:43:15,108.4956348 --> 00:43:15,168.4956348 Yeah. 472 00:43:15,738.4956348 --> 00:43:17,388.4956348 I don't think it's in us. 473 00:43:18,18.4956348 --> 00:43:34,938.4956348 I think sometimes the desire for women to run away from it all is because, 'cause there has been such a long period of abandoning themselves and it feels like the, I either have to stay and disappear completely or I need to run away. 474 00:43:35,808.4956348 --> 00:43:49,438.4956348 And so my question is, is there a sacred third? And can we find ourselves and start claiming our needs and our truths? and stepping into that and then seeing what forms around us. 475 00:43:49,438.4956348 --> 00:43:49,558.4956348 Mm-hmm. 476 00:43:51,213.4956348 --> 00:43:52,108.4956348 I love this. 477 00:43:54,28.4956348 --> 00:43:54,568.4956348 I love this. 478 00:43:54,568.4956348 --> 00:43:58,18.4956348 And thank you for being, you know, an embodiment of this. 479 00:43:58,738.4956348 --> 00:44:02,98.4956348 when we were in Scotland and we were in ceremony together. 480 00:44:02,143.4956348 --> 00:44:03,493.4956348 There were seven of us. 481 00:44:03,883.4956348 --> 00:44:10,63.4956348 one of my real memories of that is holding your hand, which was so beautiful. 482 00:44:10,63.4956348 --> 00:44:23,923.4956348 You know, as we were going on a deep journey just, and actually we didn't know each other very well then, but it was just so, I mean, and sometimes now when I'm feeling I need some support, I will, you know, energetically reach for your hand. 483 00:44:23,923.4956348 --> 00:44:39,333.4956348 And I've asked you if that's okay in the past, and you've said it's fine, but, you know, but another thing that I really felt when we were in that experience was, I remember when Janine was laughing and I really felt the ripple of her laughter. 484 00:44:39,333.4956348 --> 00:44:45,993.4956348 I literally felt it as if we were mycelium and I could feel the ripple of energy into my body. 485 00:44:46,533.4956348 --> 00:45:00,133.4956348 and then there was another moment where someone was grieving, and I really felt that in my, and it was so incredible to really be in that, Tangible, energetic feel like it was so real for me in that moment to, to feel that. 486 00:45:00,733.4956348 --> 00:45:03,163.4956348 So yeah, I just wanna say thank you for you. 487 00:45:03,733.4956348 --> 00:45:05,713.4956348 This is your work and this is what you do. 488 00:45:05,713.4956348 --> 00:45:11,833.4956348 You're stepping into this more and more and we get to receive that, you know, through, through your wisdom and through your work. 489 00:45:12,553.4956348 --> 00:45:16,953.4956348 And then also you as, as an example of that and it's really beautiful. 490 00:45:17,493.4956348 --> 00:45:20,43.4956348 Can I ask you a quick question? Yeah. 491 00:45:20,43.4956348 --> 00:45:21,933.4956348 I dunno if this is closing here, but Yeah. 492 00:45:22,153.4956348 --> 00:45:37,963.4956348 when you felt the laughter ripple through you and when you felt the grief ripple through so many empathetic people, we then think, oh, not even think, it's just our body's like, oh, I'll digest that for you. 493 00:45:38,353.4956348 --> 00:45:39,283.4956348 All right. 494 00:45:39,283.4956348 --> 00:45:42,583.4956348 And so while in journey space. 495 00:45:43,813.4956348 --> 00:45:46,123.4956348 I am curious how the wave moved. 496 00:45:46,153.4956348 --> 00:45:55,333.4956348 Like did it stay in you or did it feel like it just like rippled through like it would a my Silicon network where it's just like the information is moving through? Yeah, that's what it felt like. 497 00:45:55,338.4956348 --> 00:45:56,743.4956348 It, it wasn't me digesting it. 498 00:45:57,193.4956348 --> 00:46:02,503.4956348 And that's a really lovely question because definitely for years I have been a digester. 499 00:46:02,893.4956348 --> 00:46:04,123.4956348 Come on, give it to me. 500 00:46:04,513.4956348 --> 00:46:06,343.4956348 Yeah, I can hold it all. 501 00:46:06,673.4956348 --> 00:46:08,143.4956348 Come on, mama's got it. 502 00:46:11,198.4956348 --> 00:46:11,578.4956348 You know. 503 00:46:12,38.4956348 --> 00:46:13,538.4956348 but no, it didn't feel like that at all. 504 00:46:13,658.4956348 --> 00:46:16,658.4956348 And it didn't even feel, it didn't feel, you know, the good or the bad. 505 00:46:16,658.4956348 --> 00:46:18,128.4956348 I could, I could sense the joy. 506 00:46:18,128.4956348 --> 00:46:29,878.4956348 I could sense it was again like you are in this beautiful, you know, watching a piece of dance or listening to music and, but just seeing and feeling the textures of it all, I just felt it move through me. 507 00:46:30,528.4956348 --> 00:46:35,898.4956348 and another really fond memory from that time was the dance party. 508 00:46:35,898.4956348 --> 00:46:37,8.4956348 I dunno if it was that night. 509 00:46:37,713.4956348 --> 00:46:48,93.4956348 And I mean, you say you do have a lot of juice in you because I have seen it and you do, you have a lot of juice and we all did. 510 00:46:48,93.4956348 --> 00:46:58,533.4956348 And it was so gorgeous to be in that environment where we were all seeing the juice in each other and creating this kind of vortex for, come on, let me see more of you. 511 00:46:58,533.4956348 --> 00:47:00,393.4956348 Let me see all of you. 512 00:47:00,393.4956348 --> 00:47:00,873.4956348 Let me see. 513 00:47:00,873.4956348 --> 00:47:01,893.4956348 I love all of it. 514 00:47:01,893.4956348 --> 00:47:02,643.4956348 I love all of it. 515 00:47:03,783.4956348 --> 00:47:05,613.4956348 We had two dance parties. 516 00:47:05,613.4956348 --> 00:47:25,353.4956348 We, right, like we all worked, a few of us worked out together the next morning and then there was the time to clear up, clear out the space and it reminded me of being in junior high where I like my friends and I used to get like, dressed up and try on like different like outfits and, you know, take cameras with, uh, take, take pictures with like the disposable cameras. 517 00:47:25,353.4956348 --> 00:47:26,853.4956348 I don't know if you're, if you remember that. 518 00:47:26,853.4956348 --> 00:47:27,274.4956348 Yeah, yeah. 519 00:47:27,353.4956348 --> 00:47:34,433.4956348 But it was, so, it was just that they, again, they turned on music as they were, and then that music made people dance in different ways. 520 00:47:34,433.4956348 --> 00:47:59,213.4956348 And then there was like, and it was just, the question I think was like, what, what music like turns you on right now? And so I have so many different flavors of music came in, and then people just kind of kept changing, like outfits too, at least I changed mine once or twice and it was so raw and it was just like, how do you wanna move now? And there were so many different expressions, and it wasn't just standing on your feet and snapping your hands, like people were like crawling on the ground. 521 00:47:59,213.4956348 --> 00:48:01,133.4956348 And it was so good. 522 00:48:01,133.4956348 --> 00:48:02,633.4956348 And it went on for three hours. 523 00:48:02,933.4956348 --> 00:48:10,13.4956348 And, and there were so many plans for our Scotland trip that we just did not get to. 524 00:48:10,223.4956348 --> 00:48:17,633.4956348 We were probably supposed to see a sacred site that day, but instead we're all just like, we're crawling on the floor and dancing. 525 00:48:17,633.4956348 --> 00:48:19,163.4956348 And it was everything. 526 00:48:19,163.4956348 --> 00:48:21,983.4956348 It was like exactly the reset that we all needed. 527 00:48:22,323.4956348 --> 00:48:24,513.4956348 and so I, I did love how that. 528 00:48:25,33.4956348 --> 00:48:32,413.4956348 a retreat was guided in such a way of like, we have a structure and we have room, almost like we were talking about before. 529 00:48:32,653.4956348 --> 00:48:39,253.4956348 We have a structure and we have room to really listen to ourselves to see what is actually the next Right. 530 00:48:39,253.4956348 --> 00:48:40,633.4956348 Move within this structure. 531 00:48:40,638.4956348 --> 00:48:40,928.4956348 Yeah. 532 00:48:41,263.4956348 --> 00:48:51,293.4956348 And so that's like an example of, bending and changing and adapting without losing yourself, but actually tapping deeper into yourself during the adaptation. 533 00:48:51,348.4956348 --> 00:48:51,768.4956348 Mm-hmm. 534 00:48:53,228.4956348 --> 00:48:53,928.4956348 It was so good. 535 00:48:54,188.4956348 --> 00:48:55,583.4956348 It was, it was so good. 536 00:48:56,123.4956348 --> 00:48:56,843.4956348 It was so good. 537 00:48:56,993.4956348 --> 00:49:02,543.4956348 And I've been so cool to dance more in that way, to express in that way. 538 00:49:02,603.4956348 --> 00:49:08,573.4956348 And I know we both went on to do Ginny and N'S program ripe, which was just fabulous. 539 00:49:08,908.4956348 --> 00:49:09,328.4956348 So good. 540 00:49:11,348.4956348 --> 00:49:12,8.4956348 It is so good. 541 00:49:12,388.4956348 --> 00:49:12,728.4956348 So good. 542 00:49:12,833.4956348 --> 00:49:16,913.4956348 I've just felt like I got so much from that, that is still moving through me. 543 00:49:16,913.4956348 --> 00:49:17,993.4956348 Still percolating. 544 00:49:20,63.4956348 --> 00:49:20,723.4956348 Hmm. 545 00:49:20,903.4956348 --> 00:49:21,83.4956348 Yeah. 546 00:49:21,83.4956348 --> 00:49:23,33.4956348 For me, some of that was the dance again. 547 00:49:23,573.4956348 --> 00:49:23,633.4956348 Hmm. 548 00:49:23,633.4956348 --> 00:49:31,103.4956348 It was like, what if you put on rage music? What if you put on, you know, for someone who has like a real big, like spiritual playlist over here mm-hmm. 549 00:49:31,109.4956348 --> 00:49:36,83.4956348 To just like, what if you put on, uh, I can't even think of like a Ragey song. 550 00:49:36,743.4956348 --> 00:49:38,153.4956348 They're like, they gave us some. 551 00:49:38,153.4956348 --> 00:49:49,823.4956348 And it's like, what if you, like, how does your body wanna move to this? And when you hear this and does it frustrate you? Does it, you know, it's just all these opportunities to get to know myself within different rhythms and to change the word dance. 552 00:49:49,823.4956348 --> 00:49:56,778.4956348 So sometimes I'll invite within my course of like, how do you wanna move? 'cause sometimes I just actually wanna jump up and down and shake my hands out. 553 00:49:57,443.4956348 --> 00:50:11,813.4956348 And so when I change the word dance, which sometimes has this idea that it's supposed to look good to, how do I want to move? How does this, you know, how does this move my body? Actually? It's like, how does this move my body? And it's, yeah. 554 00:50:11,873.4956348 --> 00:50:12,893.4956348 Co-creation. 555 00:50:13,3.4956348 --> 00:50:14,713.4956348 it's so freeing. 556 00:50:16,138.4956348 --> 00:50:19,648.4956348 I just have, well, probably another 3 million questions to ask you. 557 00:50:19,648.4956348 --> 00:50:19,828.4956348 Perfect. 558 00:50:20,818.4956348 --> 00:50:23,968.4956348 We'll keep it, we'll keep it to one more, or maybe two questions. 559 00:50:23,968.4956348 --> 00:50:34,408.4956348 So if there was one truth you wish everyone knew about the nervous system, what would it be? Hmm. 560 00:50:38,398.4956348 --> 00:50:46,978.4956348 The truth about the nervous system is that for me, okay, so here's how I feel about the nervous system. 561 00:50:48,628.4956348 --> 00:50:57,538.4956348 The truth about the nervous system is, for me, it has more to do about embodiment of your spirit and soul. 562 00:51:00,88.4956348 --> 00:51:09,658.4956348 So often, again, we talk about the nervous system in terms of regulation and calm, but what if the whole point of getting to feel. 563 00:51:11,383.4956348 --> 00:51:21,193.4956348 In your safe, in your body was so that you could feel the embodiment of your spirit and to be able to have a piece of heaven on earth. 564 00:51:24,913.4956348 --> 00:51:25,273.4956348 That's it. 565 00:51:25,963.4956348 --> 00:51:26,503.4956348 Mic drop. 566 00:51:28,993.4956348 --> 00:51:37,273.4956348 I, it is funny, I was really feeling the essence of what you just shared so beautifully before our conversation. 567 00:51:37,383.4956348 --> 00:51:46,473.4956348 when I was a dancer, I would have anxiety before going into the dance studio, you know, often people would already be in there warming up, so I would get there earlier than everyone else. 568 00:51:46,473.4956348 --> 00:51:55,983.4956348 I could be in the room and kind of feel the energy before I would go into a space where there was lots of other energy and I would really get in my body and not just in a stretchy, stretchy way. 569 00:51:56,43.4956348 --> 00:52:01,53.4956348 It would be in these ways that, you know, I do now the tapping, the moving energy through. 570 00:52:01,53.4956348 --> 00:52:02,313.4956348 And I was 18, you know, I didn't. 571 00:52:02,643.4956348 --> 00:52:04,83.4956348 Really know what I was doing. 572 00:52:04,413.4956348 --> 00:52:08,673.4956348 But it was amazing, the feeling for me of like, oh, I can only do it this way. 573 00:52:09,513.4956348 --> 00:52:12,903.4956348 I can only, I can only do it this way. 574 00:52:12,903.4956348 --> 00:52:17,133.4956348 I, I'm gonna freak out if I am in that other operating system. 575 00:52:18,393.4956348 --> 00:52:27,823.4956348 And it's the same now, especially if I am, delivering or am in an environment where I feel that there's growth happening. 576 00:52:27,823.4956348 --> 00:52:30,193.4956348 Like, you know, this podcast is very new to me. 577 00:52:30,643.4956348 --> 00:52:38,803.4956348 So for me to be able to be in the right energy, to engage in it, I have to be, you know, well regulated. 578 00:52:38,803.4956348 --> 00:52:43,333.4956348 But it is, it feels like it's this space where my soul can really be at home. 579 00:52:44,23.4956348 --> 00:52:47,143.4956348 That's the only place where the insights come through. 580 00:52:47,203.4956348 --> 00:52:54,103.4956348 I feel like otherwise I'm just, you know, the magic comes through when I'm, it's the presence, isn't it? I'm here. 581 00:52:54,253.4956348 --> 00:52:58,243.4956348 It's the presence and it feels, it feels so safe. 582 00:52:58,273.4956348 --> 00:53:00,553.4956348 And not just because it feels safe in my body. 583 00:53:01,953.4956348 --> 00:53:02,173.4956348 It. 584 00:53:02,178.4956348 --> 00:53:08,308.4956348 It just feels so true and it feels like my soul can move up against any reality. 585 00:53:08,668.4956348 --> 00:53:11,638.4956348 You know, in a class where you don't know what's gonna come at you. 586 00:53:11,638.4956348 --> 00:53:13,198.4956348 It's like, this is wonderful. 587 00:53:13,198.4956348 --> 00:53:21,418.4956348 I know that if I'm dropped into my soul and we all are, it's only gonna be wisdom and beauty that comes through. 588 00:53:22,168.4956348 --> 00:53:38,68.4956348 So I love that you just articulated that so beautifully, that it's not just about body and highlighting what your body knew when you were 18 without needing orientation, like mental orientation to it. 589 00:53:38,608.4956348 --> 00:53:47,638.4956348 Mental orientation can be a nervous system tool, and like we've spoken of all the things that our ancestors knew without knowing, right? Yeah. 590 00:53:47,638.4956348 --> 00:53:49,798.4956348 It's just like in our body and our soul. 591 00:53:50,308.4956348 --> 00:53:53,908.4956348 And I also love what I think you just clarified was. 592 00:53:55,963.4956348 --> 00:53:56,198.4956348 It is. 593 00:53:56,398.4956348 --> 00:54:03,508.4956348 It wasn't just that it brought you to a state of calm, it was that it helps you to feel the embodiment of your soul. 594 00:54:04,228.4956348 --> 00:54:15,988.4956348 And from there, how would your soul interact with the space? And for me, that is so much richer than the word calm. 595 00:54:16,768.4956348 --> 00:54:19,438.4956348 Calm gets to be there, but it's so much richer. 596 00:54:21,538.4956348 --> 00:54:24,898.4956348 And I'm sure your listeners know because they're your listeners. 597 00:54:24,898.4956348 --> 00:54:31,768.4956348 But the dance, my understanding is that the dance school you were at was highly competitive. 598 00:54:31,768.4956348 --> 00:54:38,638.4956348 And so I could imagine highly stressful and that only a few people actually made it to graduation. 599 00:54:39,538.4956348 --> 00:54:46,318.4956348 So for you to do that and to do it with your soul, I'm sure the fact that your soul was there was what helped you get there. 600 00:54:46,908.4956348 --> 00:54:50,298.4956348 and I'm sure that there were some people who had to leave that behind. 601 00:54:50,718.4956348 --> 00:54:52,488.4956348 In order to like keep to the strictness. 602 00:54:52,488.4956348 --> 00:54:55,998.4956348 And I also wanna honor that there may have been times where you penate between the two. 603 00:54:56,3.4956348 --> 00:54:56,323.4956348 Mm-hmm. 604 00:54:57,433.4956348 --> 00:54:57,723.4956348 Yeah. 605 00:54:59,358.4956348 --> 00:54:59,898.4956348 Hmm. 606 00:55:00,138.4956348 --> 00:55:19,818.4956348 But guess and I feel that with you now, and even as you describe what we, uh, experience in Scotland or different ways, I can sense how you sense so much with your body and how you remember so much with your body and the way that helps you to integrate into all of their parts of life as opposed to like, oh, I remember this tool. 607 00:55:19,818.4956348 --> 00:55:20,838.4956348 I'm gonna do this tool now. 608 00:55:21,198.4956348 --> 00:55:36,708.4956348 I really see the way your body remembers and then calls similar experiences in like the way that you've been going to, I think going into the city more and the way you've been, wanting to vacation differently and the way that you've been dancing more and in different forms. 609 00:55:36,708.4956348 --> 00:55:43,128.4956348 Like there are parts of you that are coming alive as a match to the remembrance, I think of Scotland and of other experiences. 610 00:55:43,128.4956348 --> 00:55:47,328.4956348 And I really see that in you and it's so freaking beautiful. 611 00:55:48,228.4956348 --> 00:55:51,18.4956348 My word in Scotland before our ceremony was remember. 612 00:55:51,948.4956348 --> 00:55:55,8.4956348 Ah, so good. 613 00:55:55,758.4956348 --> 00:55:55,878.4956348 Mm. 614 00:55:56,388.4956348 --> 00:55:56,778.4956348 Yeah. 615 00:55:58,188.4956348 --> 00:55:58,518.4956348 Yeah. 616 00:55:58,518.4956348 --> 00:55:59,208.4956348 So beautiful. 617 00:55:59,208.4956348 --> 00:56:00,288.4956348 Thank you so much. 618 00:56:00,288.4956348 --> 00:56:03,288.4956348 This has been such a rich conversation. 619 00:56:03,858.4956348 --> 00:56:08,508.4956348 my work, my membership is called aligned. 620 00:56:08,598.4956348 --> 00:56:28,788.4956348 And a question that I feel cool to ask everyone at the end of the podcast is, what does alignment, what is alignment to you? What does it feel like to you? Or just even in this present moment, in this present season? Yeah. 621 00:56:28,788.4956348 --> 00:56:34,338.4956348 What does, what is alignment to you being in alignment? Alignment is dynamic. 622 00:56:36,78.4956348 --> 00:56:42,168.4956348 Alignment is play and curiosity. 623 00:56:43,308.4956348 --> 00:56:46,128.4956348 It's the ability to have a redo. 624 00:56:47,433.4956348 --> 00:56:59,223.4956348 The ability to feel and sense, like even that day where I was feeling grief and isolation, that, that helped me to realign. 625 00:57:00,3.4956348 --> 00:57:12,273.4956348 And then maybe I'll go too far in the direction of like, I need to schedule all these things and then I get to like align again in different parts of my cycle are gonna call, call for different amounts of aloneness and togetherness and weaving. 626 00:57:12,273.4956348 --> 00:57:21,423.4956348 And so alignment is, it's so dynamic and it calls for so much presence. 627 00:57:21,423.4956348 --> 00:57:25,983.4956348 And when presence disappears, that's part of our remembrance as well. 628 00:57:25,983.4956348 --> 00:57:27,483.4956348 Right? We have to forget to remember. 629 00:57:28,353.4956348 --> 00:57:36,993.4956348 And so I think it is a, it is a process of forgetting and remembering and that sometimes hurts and it's such a gift. 630 00:57:39,123.4956348 --> 00:57:40,53.4956348 That's so beautiful. 631 00:57:40,53.4956348 --> 00:57:40,683.4956348 Mm-hmm. 632 00:57:41,13.4956348 --> 00:57:41,283.4956348 Thank you. 633 00:57:42,123.4956348 --> 00:57:44,28.4956348 so my darling, if people. 634 00:57:44,718.4956348 --> 00:57:48,498.4956348 Wanna find you and they should all just come and find you and hang out with you. 635 00:57:48,733.4956348 --> 00:57:51,108.4956348 Oh, find me, find Sarah. 636 00:57:51,568.4956348 --> 00:57:57,448.4956348 how do they find you? is there anything you wanna share with them? Is there anything that's kind of coming up? I know there is in Autumn. 637 00:57:57,448.4956348 --> 00:57:57,898.4956348 Yes. 638 00:57:58,258.4956348 --> 00:58:04,798.4956348 This September I am rerunning a course that I did last year called Resourced. 639 00:58:05,398.4956348 --> 00:58:24,358.4956348 And it is for women to help them find more resonance in their system, to have more of that sense of embodiment of their soul, to gain nervous system wisdom and tools and community. 640 00:58:25,378.4956348 --> 00:58:32,938.4956348 And when I say move from suppression to expression, I know that there are some people who are like, oh, but I am like freaking out at my kids all the time. 641 00:58:32,938.4956348 --> 00:58:33,268.4956348 I don't. 642 00:58:33,268.4956348 --> 00:58:36,328.4956348 I need to actually suppress a little bit or I need to calm down. 643 00:58:36,748.4956348 --> 00:58:43,18.4956348 I say, oh, actually how do we build in healthy fight and flight into our day so that those things. 644 00:58:43,333.4956348 --> 00:58:52,723.4956348 Come out sideways less often, that we might actually feel more calm when we are ex, like finding healthy, expressive outlets. 645 00:58:53,443.4956348 --> 00:59:02,743.4956348 and this also again moves to the idea of how do we become sovereign beings within an interdependent system? It's work I'm super excited about. 646 00:59:03,643.4956348 --> 00:59:11,593.4956348 Mm, when I write almost on a daily basis, what is my why? I have a really strong desire for the liberation of women. 647 00:59:12,103.4956348 --> 00:59:26,618.4956348 And as I said, I do think that as we become more liberated, the society becomes more generous, more interwoven, more supported, and we move less from a dry, well, what I call a dry well syndrome, where it's like we're all so. 648 00:59:27,463.4956348 --> 00:59:35,563.4956348 Tired and burnt out and isolated that it's hard to give to anyone else because we're like, we're trying to give from a dry well, or we get a little bit and we're like, now we should give. 649 00:59:35,563.4956348 --> 00:59:46,783.4956348 But the curiosity around how do we fill our wells and wait until they're overflowing, is that even a possible reality? And so that is what this course is about. 650 00:59:46,783.4956348 --> 00:59:53,853.4956348 And, juice is, uh, a retreat I was going to run this summer, and I may still run it undecided. 651 00:59:54,303.4956348 --> 00:59:58,263.4956348 There's a part of me that's like, maybe I just wanna be with my juicy friends and have them come. 652 00:59:58,263.4956348 --> 01:00:04,893.4956348 And, but I do know it's a word that will inform even resourced, which can sound kind of more neutral. 653 01:00:05,613.4956348 --> 01:00:09,543.4956348 The word resource came because of the definition that Jerry Mulder gave me. 654 01:00:09,543.4956348 --> 01:00:12,483.4956348 That stress is when we have more demands and resources. 655 01:00:12,723.4956348 --> 01:00:23,433.4956348 So the idea is like, how do we resource ourselves so that we can feel more embodied? another resource I created was 21 Days of Untapped Support. 656 01:00:24,183.4956348 --> 01:00:25,83.4956348 That is free. 657 01:00:25,83.4956348 --> 01:00:28,563.4956348 So anyone could go on my website and they can either get on, they can do both. 658 01:00:28,563.4956348 --> 01:00:30,573.4956348 Get on the wait list for resourced. 659 01:00:31,323.4956348 --> 01:00:37,323.4956348 Uh, it does not mean that you'll suddenly be in the course and be like, oh, shoot, I'm, you know, it's, I will let you know. 660 01:00:37,323.4956348 --> 01:00:40,953.4956348 I will give you, an opportunity to sign up at a discounted rate ahead of time. 661 01:00:41,623.4956348 --> 01:00:44,203.4956348 and then 21 days of support is just free. 662 01:00:44,683.4956348 --> 01:00:53,953.4956348 And it's the smallest, doable piece of noticing a resource that's already around you that will cost you nothing and possibly take up no extra time. 663 01:00:54,283.4956348 --> 01:00:54,463.4956348 Mm-hmm. 664 01:00:55,303.4956348 --> 01:00:56,563.4956348 So that's what I have to offer. 665 01:00:56,623.4956348 --> 01:01:04,123.4956348 And on Instagram, it's Sarah Tacy t and I think that's, oh, and I have a podcast called Threshold Moments. 666 01:01:04,813.4956348 --> 01:01:05,353.4956348 There we go. 667 01:01:06,913.4956348 --> 01:01:07,633.4956348 Amazing. 668 01:01:08,833.4956348 --> 01:01:10,663.4956348 This was truly a gift. 669 01:01:10,763.4956348 --> 01:01:13,13.4956348 thank you so much, so grateful for you. 670 01:01:14,513.4956348 --> 01:01:16,163.4956348 I'm grateful for you as well. 671 01:01:16,628.4956348 --> 01:01:24,688.4956348 I, I'm so proud of you for stepping forward to bring your voice, your body, your energy into this world in this way. 672 01:01:25,198.4956348 --> 01:01:33,928.4956348 I know a number of people who, uh, after listening to podcasts have just been like, whoa, I got to take you on a walk with me. 673 01:01:33,928.4956348 --> 01:01:40,808.4956348 And people are like, your people will get to take you for a walk with them and, hear your wisdom. 674 01:01:40,808.4956348 --> 01:01:51,238.4956348 But it's also, you have such a beautiful generosity to you and it really, uh, overflows in the presence that you bring. 675 01:01:51,268.4956348 --> 01:01:59,308.4956348 And so all the things that you do before you even turn on your mic, we get to feel as we listen to you. 676 01:02:01,258.4956348 --> 01:02:02,128.4956348 So thank you for that. 677 01:02:03,568.4956348 --> 01:02:04,288.4956348 Thank you, my love. 678 01:02:06,148.4956348 --> 01:02:07,468.4956348 Well, this was such a gift. 679 01:02:08,668.4956348 --> 01:02:14,688.4956348 and I am sure it's gonna touch so many souls and, yeah, brings so much inspiration. 680 01:02:15,468.4956348 --> 01:02:16,128.4956348 So thank you. 681 01:02:16,698.4956348 --> 01:02:17,328.4956348 Thank you. 682 01:02:17,418.4956348 --> 01:02:17,808.4956348 Love you. 683 01:02:18,348.4956348 --> 01:02:18,768.4956348 Love you. 684 01:02:20,8.4956348 --> 01:02:21,838.4956348 Thank you so much for listening. 685 01:02:22,108.4956348 --> 01:02:25,558.4956348 I truly appreciate you choosing to spend your precious time here. 686 01:02:26,318.4956348 --> 01:02:36,428.4956348 If you'd like to stay connected, you can find me on social media and explore my aligned offerings and our amazing community@www.rachhall.com. 687 01:02:37,238.4956348 --> 01:02:38,918.4956348 All of the links will be in the show notes. 688 01:02:39,308.4956348 --> 01:02:43,718.4956348 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might find it meaningful. 689 01:02:43,718.4956348 --> 01:02:46,328.4956348 Also, I'd love to connect with you again soon.

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