September 14, 2025 • 16 mins
In the debut episode of 'Angry on the Inside', hosts Jessica and Jeannine explore the complexities of late ADHD diagnosis in women. They share their personal journeys, the emotional impact of their diagnoses, and the importance of community support. The conversation delves into the misconceptions surrounding ADHD coaching, the challenges of societal expectations, and the emotional toll of masking. The hosts emphasize the need for understanding and validation within the ADHD community, encouraging listeners to embrace their experiences and seek connection.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Jessica (00:00)Hi, and welcome to angry on the inside, a podcast for women who've been late diagnosed with ADHD. I'm Jessica Minus from alternative path coaching, your cohost and a fellow late diagnosed woman writing a to do lists and a brand new notepad that I'll probably never look at or use again. But I gotta tell you, I'm pretty excited about the notepad.
(00:01):
Jeannine Thill (00:17)Nothing like a new notepad. Hi, I'm Janine Thill, founder of Everyday Greatness Coaching, and I'm so glad you're here with us as well. If you've ever felt like the world didn't make sense and then suddenly after a late in life ADHD diagnosis, everything made sense, but you're still a little pissed about it, you're in good company. We're here to share stories, strategies, and maybe a little snark about what it's like to live with ADHD.
Jessica (00:18)I know.
let's talk late diagnosis. And that's kind of the reason why I think Janine and I are both here. It's a huge part of how we both met and why we're able to mesh so well together and spend so much time together. keep in mind, I am choosing to disclose my diagnosis. That does not mean that everyone in our community makes that choice. And there are a lot of people who can't.
Jeannine Thill (00:48)Very much so.
Jessica (01:04)But for me, I'm choosing to, and I will say my late diagnosis came in my early 40s. And like most, when I received that diagnosis, within about five minutes, my brain started to think, wow, all of these list of things that mean I have ADHD. These are all things I've been doing since I was like two. How weird it is that in 40 years, no one noticed.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg when we start getting going on those coulda, shoulda, wouldas of our life. I will say I spent most of my adult life working myself into the ground. I really did. And probably eight to 10 years before my diagnosis, I was starting to reach burnout, actual autistic burnout, because I am autistic and I have ADHD. And these are things that I did not realize. And I kept
pushing myself and pushing my body and my mind. And really what it all resulted in was even after my diagnosis, I chose to keep just driving myself into the ground and not accepting and not understanding that there are so many people who are stuck in this loop, right? So many people. I just thought that I was less than, I thought that
Jeannine Thill (02:02)No.
Jessica (02:14)everyone else was able to do it because they knew what to do and that I was just, you know, I was the clueless one and I truly felt like I was like starting to go crazy. My emotions were completely out of whack. and I was angry on the inside. I was constantly angry about everything because it was just imploding. and then
I ended up with a breast cancer diagnosis and that's the thing that it took to get me to throw the brakes on for everything. And I just stopped.
I decided in that moment that would be the time for me to start understanding me. I went through a double mastectomy. I left a director level position and decided to start fresh.
How about you, Janine?
Tell us about your journey.
Jeannine Thill (02:57)my diagnosis journey, it, um, it's funny. It seems there's so many similarities, um, with yours. I've noticed women our diagnosis stories do seem to have a lot of parallels.
mine was, I was in my very early 50s my life was falling apart again. Jessica, you were talking about that feeling of just, you know, I'm losing it, I'm going crazy. that's exactly the point I was at. I was having to move and I just realized I was just so disorganized. I couldn't put, you know, two and two together
I think I Googled something about, like, can't I be organized? Why can't I figure out how to move and pack up my house? And I don't remember what website it was, but it was like number eight on the list was, well, maybe you have ADHD. And that's why you struggle with these executive functions. Interesting enough, my daughter had been diagnosed a couple years before. No one ever said anything about running in families.
she had working memory issues that made studying hard for her. And that was all that the doctor told us. Nothing about, hey, you know, maybe look into a diagnosis as well. So, yeah, I was super angry. I was relieved. I think I spent like three days crying and looking, doing so much research. I hadn't been officially tested at that point.
But I knew just by reading every, you all the stories, all the lists, all of that, that it was, it was me. It described me to a T and I'd never, I've always read about how people did things so great and to read about other people making mistakes or what it looks like. and especially for women, it felt really good. But as I said, I also cried for about three days straight because feeling relieved,
you know, it switched between that and being really, really angry because I thought of the therapists I'd seen, the marriage therapists I'd seen, the doctors I'd seen, the medication I'd been put on and not once did ADHD ever come up and looking at my diagnosis, I feel like I'm the stereotype of a middle-aged ADHD woman. So,
I then actually, I tested on the website. I got some website that said they do a test for like $300, got assigned a psychologist, got a test and came back that yes, I did have ADHD. you mentioned that even though you have the diagnosis, it's interesting how you kind of still stay the course. It's like, that's what you know. It's hard to actually incorporate what it means to have ADHD and to look at what changes you might need to make.
from a career perspective, I can look back and see how being undiagnosed, it really did hold me back. loved, absolutely loved, loved, loved the work I did. But I started to fall short on projects and I got to the point where I just didn't, you I didn't trust myself. I didn't volunteer for things or try to take on different projects because I was fearful that I'd be really excited about it right now. And then in two weeks, I, you know,
(00:22):
be bored and forget about it and procrastinate there were jobs I didn't interview that I know I could have done, I just didn't trust myself at that point because I didn't know what the heck was going on with me. that is why this podcast is important to me. It's also why I became an ADAD coach is to really
give people a place to share these stories, especially women, because I know for me, there has been so much good that's come out of being with a community and being with a community of women that knows what it's like, that can understand what it feels like when you've lived half your life and not knowing
how to deal with the anger. Hence, that's why we called it anger and the inside because I think I'm still angry on the inside a lot of the time just from not being diagnosed. we want this podcast to help all of you to have a community, to know you're not crazy, to know that there is a silver lining after all of this. So you're definitely not alone
Jessica (06:25)You
you know that you bring up that relief because I think the relief is what many of us are looking for when we go seeking that official diagnosis or considering seeking you know and quotations official diagnosis. We all expect the relief and that's what we get and we get it for like five minutes and that's about it because then
everything down shifts and you know that anger does come up and don't get me wrong we are very aware that anger is an emotion that tends to pop up to almost protect us from those other emotions you know the grief and the loss and the sadness and the embarrassment those are all things that
Jeannine Thill (07:13)Yeah.
Jessica (07:19)diagnosed ADH women have very, very much in common. I believe that ADHD is as much a spectrum as autism is, though I believe they're very different. And I will say, I think that's part of what sometimes we get caught up on when trying to find community also. Jeannine and I actually met
because we were going through training to become ADHD life coaches. So that is where we met. We were in the same cohort and learning together. And it's very interesting to have that shocking realization that if you know everyone in the room has ADHD and everyone in the room knows you have ADHD, what a different environment it is.
Jeannine Thill (08:03)Yeah.
Jessica (08:03)And you realize what community truly honestly is because you're not re-explaining yourself. You learn to not say, does that make sense? A hundred times. you know, it's, it's just so strange. And I feel this podcast is our way of trying to bring community together, but
we'll have opportunities to kind of expand on that. But I really think that is why Janine and I are here. We want to talk about how important community is. We want you to know that you're not alone. We want you to know that you don't have to sit in that anger because we can all process it. Staying the course is also a truly good highlight. We get our diagnosis and yet we stay the course. We keep doing these things that
physically and emotionally hurt us, we keep going on and on. And that's because it takes time for us to educate ourselves. know, Janine gave a great example of the fact that, she had her daughter diagnosed years before and no one said, this might be a good time for you to get checked out. You know, this is hereditary. These are things that happen. This is how women are affected differently than men.
And these are the people who are diagnosing us. So a lot of times, many of us are misdiagnosed. We are misrepresented. And we are overmedicated with anything but ADHD medications.
Jeannine Thill (09:31)Yeah, I think I read a statistic somewhere that I think for women who have late diagnosis, it's usually been like about a 10 to 15 years of them being treated for everything but. They were diagnosed with depression. They were diagnosed with anxiety. But it was like it never crossed anybody's mind that, huh, maybe we should test her for ADHD.
Jessica (09:43)Yes.
Jeannine Thill (09:52)You know, I can't say enough about just the community that you and I found with our coaching cohort that we're still in touch with. actually, I just said to you today this morning, didn't I? I was like, I'm not used to being in a relationship with somebody who doesn't judge me for my ADHD traits. And it's a really weird place to be. It's a great place to be, but you just have never felt like, you get me and you know it's not some moral flaw.
And we want you all to feel that way too, that there is understanding, there's acceptance. And even if your ADHD symptoms don't necessarily show up like ours, there is still support to be found. I think it's really true what you said, Jess, about it being a spectrum, because I agree with you. I think very much so.
just as autism is a spectrum. think ADHD is one as well. we want to take each episode, to talk about, specific topics. whether it's relationships, productivity myths, or just the emotional roller coaster of ADHD, we know that you'll find something in each of our podcasts that will give you kind of an aha moment.
what will really resonate with you.
Jessica (10:53)we want to be very clear that this podcast
(00:43):
is not representative of what coaching is. Coaching for both Janine and I, they happen in a private space with a agreed upon contract with levels of
boundaries, privacy, and there is an overall structure to it. there has been a lot online and in social media about what coaching is and isn't. And if you're interested in it, we'll make sure look down below. We will give, you know, our websites and we can give you resources to coaching and understanding. But again, what we're doing here, this is not coaching.
Jeannine Thill (11:33)let's talk about what you can expect from us week to week.
Jessica (11:36)We're here to validate your experiences and explore ways to move forward without sugarcoating the challenges.
Jeannine Thill (11:42)we want to keep things real and relatable.
this isn't about perfection or quick fixes. It's about making sense of all of our unique journeys.
one episode at a time.
Jessica (11:50)Exactly.
Jeannine Thill (11:51)we definitely want to make our podcasts enjoyable. And
we'll definitely be bringing humor in,
But be warned, there's going to be some...
inappropriate language, you might be hearing fuck a few times, but hopefully you won't be too offended.
a good word. It can be an all the words. It can be like an adverb, adjective, noun, verb. Yeah.
Jessica (12:08)wonder how many times we could say the word fuck in a sentence and it still makes sense. I wonder what the record is. I bet there's a statistic for that.
Jeannine Thill (12:13)You
But see, that's when the cussing relieves
Jessica (12:15)Let's talk about pissed.
Jeannine Thill (12:18)know, relieves the anger.
Jessica (12:19)It does.
It does. It does. And you know what? It also gives us something to smile about. I think the community can be a little softer to each other about laughing to keep from crying. People tend to be very reactionary when people are joking around and, you know, making light of a situation. And that's their prerogative and that's totally cool. But we could probably give a little more grace.
Jeannine Thill (12:28)Definitely.
(01:04):
Yeah, definitely.
Jessica (12:43)All
so you know who we are, you know what we won't be doing, you know we will be cussing, so let's talk about the topics
Jeannine Thill (12:47)Ooh.
I like that.
There's so much to choose from and we're hoping as we go along that you all will let us know what you're interested in hearing about we've got a plan talking about RSD
accommodations at work, whether to share your diagnosis or not. Friendships in ADHD, for women with ADHD, struggle with keeping friendships, the guilt that goes along with ADHD, especially the shame that goes along with it. What else, Jess?
Jessica (13:17)I think that the most important point is what you said, Janine, that we hope as you hear us talk and as you hear us go through these topics, we do have things planned. We do have things we want to do. But we want to represent our audience and how women are
actually affected.
Jeannine Thill (13:37)we've always, talk about how there's this, you you read articles about how you're supposed to be organized or how to be a great mom, how to be a great wife, all of this stuff. And it's just really unrealistic. I think it's unrealistic for neurotypical women, but it's definitely unrealistic for ADHD women. And, but you're left with...
Jessica (13:51)Ooh.
Jeannine Thill (13:54)That's how it's supposed to be. And you make those expectations for yourself and other people might be having those expectations of you as well.
Jessica (13:56)See, I think that's an.
Jeanine, I think that's such an excellent example, right? It's like we spend our lives reading all of these top 10 lists, right? 10 ways to be more organized, 10 ways to be a better wife, 10 ways to have a better orgasm, 10 ways to do this. We all have these top 10 lists and
Jeannine Thill (14:05)wait, you know what? Repeat.
Jessica (14:21)They set expectations for us
that are completely out of reach. And that just rolls into more of our issues of feeling less than and not realizing because we as ADHDers many times take things at face value. If it's written down, well, then that would be what everybody else is experiencing.
because we are so used to being told we are wrong or we are the only ones who experience it that way. And so I think that is just an excellent point.
Jeannine Thill (14:52)Well, I think you just touched on another great topic is masking. I mean, that's just describing masking, right? And the emotional toll that comes with that. And yeah, and I think when you are later on in life, that's just how you've lived your life. That's a really hard one to drop or to not worry about feeling, you know,
Jessica (15:02)Exactly.
Jeannine Thill (15:19)that you're not living up to expectations to be okay with that and not trying to present to the world that you are perfect or fearing that everyone else around you thinks that you should be perfect. And that definitely takes a huge toll. And I think probably more so in, well, women overall, but definitely in later diagnosed ADHD women for sure.
(01:25):
Jessica (15:26)Mm-hmm.
Jane and I want to thank you so much. All of you for joining us for our first episode of angry on the inside. And we're so excited to be on this journey and we hope that.
you take the time to come along with us.
Jeannine Thill (15:51)If you liked what you heard, subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss a single episode. And if you're feeling generous, leave us an amazing review. it'll help other women find us.
Jessica (16:00)You can find us and follow us on Instagram at angry on the inside as well as tick tock. please share your stories and ask questions, even if you just want to connect with others who just kind of get it. And remember you're not in this alone.
Jeannine Thill (16:14)We'll see you next time and until then take care and be kind to yourself.
Jessica (16:18)That was beautiful, Janine!
Jessica (00:00)Hi, and welcome to angry on the inside, a podcast for women who've been late diagnosed with ADHD. I'm Jessica Minus from alternative path coaching, your cohost and a fellow late diagnosed woman writing a to do lists and a brand new notepad that I'll probably never look at or use again. But I gotta tell you, I'm pretty excited about the notepad.
(00:01):
Jeannine Thill (00:17)Nothing like a new notepad. Hi, I'm Janine Thill, founder of Everyday Greatness Coaching, and I'm so glad you're here with us as well. If you've ever felt like the world didn't make sense and then suddenly after a late in life ADHD diagnosis, everything made sense, but you're still a little pissed about it, you're in good company. We're here to share stories, strategies, and maybe a little snark about what it's like to live with ADHD.
Jessica (00:18)I know.
let's talk late diagnosis. And that's kind of the reason why I think Janine and I are both here. It's a huge part of how we both met and why we're able to mesh so well together and spend so much time together. keep in mind, I am choosing to disclose my diagnosis. That does not mean that everyone in our community makes that choice. And there are a lot of people who can't.
Jeannine Thill (00:48)Very much so.
Jessica (01:04)But for me, I'm choosing to, and I will say my late diagnosis came in my early 40s. And like most, when I received that diagnosis, within about five minutes, my brain started to think, wow, all of these list of things that mean I have ADHD. These are all things I've been doing since I was like two. How weird it is that in 40 years, no one noticed.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg when we start getting going on those coulda, shoulda, wouldas of our life. I will say I spent most of my adult life working myself into the ground. I really did. And probably eight to 10 years before my diagnosis, I was starting to reach burnout, actual autistic burnout, because I am autistic and I have ADHD. And these are things that I did not realize. And I kept
pushing myself and pushing my body and my mind. And really what it all resulted in was even after my diagnosis, I chose to keep just driving myself into the ground and not accepting and not understanding that there are so many people who are stuck in this loop, right? So many people. I just thought that I was less than, I thought that
Jeannine Thill (02:02)No.
Jessica (02:14)everyone else was able to do it because they knew what to do and that I was just, you know, I was the clueless one and I truly felt like I was like starting to go crazy. My emotions were completely out of whack. and I was angry on the inside. I was constantly angry about everything because it was just imploding. and then
I ended up with a breast cancer diagnosis and that's the thing that it took to get me to throw the brakes on for everything. And I just stopped.
I decided in that moment that would be the time for me to start understanding me. I went through a double mastectomy. I left a director level position and decided to start fresh.
How about you, Janine?
Tell us about your journey.
Jeannine Thill (02:57)my diagnosis journey, it, um, it's funny. It seems there's so many similarities, um, with yours. I've noticed women our diagnosis stories do seem to have a lot of parallels.
mine was, I was in my very early 50s my life was falling apart again. Jessica, you were talking about that feeling of just, you know, I'm losing it, I'm going crazy. that's exactly the point I was at. I was having to move and I just realized I was just so disorganized. I couldn't put, you know, two and two together
I think I Googled something about, like, can't I be organized? Why can't I figure out how to move and pack up my house? And I don't remember what website it was, but it was like number eight on the list was, well, maybe you have ADHD. And that's why you struggle with these executive functions. Interesting enough, my daughter had been diagnosed a couple years before. No one ever said anything about running in families.
she had working memory issues that made studying hard for her. And that was all that the doctor told us. Nothing about, hey, you know, maybe look into a diagnosis as well. So, yeah, I was super angry. I was relieved. I think I spent like three days crying and looking, doing so much research. I hadn't been officially tested at that point.
But I knew just by reading every, you all the stories, all the lists, all of that, that it was, it was me. It described me to a T and I'd never, I've always read about how people did things so great and to read about other people making mistakes or what it looks like. and especially for women, it felt really good. But as I said, I also cried for about three days straight because feeling relieved,
you know, it switched between that and being really, really angry because I thought of the therapists I'd seen, the marriage therapists I'd seen, the doctors I'd seen, the medication I'd been put on and not once did ADHD ever come up and looking at my diagnosis, I feel like I'm the stereotype of a middle-aged ADHD woman. So,
I then actually, I tested on the website. I got some website that said they do a test for like $300, got assigned a psychologist, got a test and came back that yes, I did have ADHD. you mentioned that even though you have the diagnosis, it's interesting how you kind of still stay the course. It's like, that's what you know. It's hard to actually incorporate what it means to have ADHD and to look at what changes you might need to make.
from a career perspective, I can look back and see how being undiagnosed, it really did hold me back. loved, absolutely loved, loved, loved the work I did. But I started to fall short on projects and I got to the point where I just didn't, you I didn't trust myself. I didn't volunteer for things or try to take on different projects because I was fearful that I'd be really excited about it right now. And then in two weeks, I, you know,
(00:22):
be bored and forget about it and procrastinate there were jobs I didn't interview that I know I could have done, I just didn't trust myself at that point because I didn't know what the heck was going on with me. that is why this podcast is important to me. It's also why I became an ADAD coach is to really
give people a place to share these stories, especially women, because I know for me, there has been so much good that's come out of being with a community and being with a community of women that knows what it's like, that can understand what it feels like when you've lived half your life and not knowing
how to deal with the anger. Hence, that's why we called it anger and the inside because I think I'm still angry on the inside a lot of the time just from not being diagnosed. we want this podcast to help all of you to have a community, to know you're not crazy, to know that there is a silver lining after all of this. So you're definitely not alone
Jessica (06:25)You
you know that you bring up that relief because I think the relief is what many of us are looking for when we go seeking that official diagnosis or considering seeking you know and quotations official diagnosis. We all expect the relief and that's what we get and we get it for like five minutes and that's about it because then
everything down shifts and you know that anger does come up and don't get me wrong we are very aware that anger is an emotion that tends to pop up to almost protect us from those other emotions you know the grief and the loss and the sadness and the embarrassment those are all things that
Jeannine Thill (07:13)Yeah.
Jessica (07:19)diagnosed ADH women have very, very much in common. I believe that ADHD is as much a spectrum as autism is, though I believe they're very different. And I will say, I think that's part of what sometimes we get caught up on when trying to find community also. Jeannine and I actually met
because we were going through training to become ADHD life coaches. So that is where we met. We were in the same cohort and learning together. And it's very interesting to have that shocking realization that if you know everyone in the room has ADHD and everyone in the room knows you have ADHD, what a different environment it is.
Jeannine Thill (08:03)Yeah.
Jessica (08:03)And you realize what community truly honestly is because you're not re-explaining yourself. You learn to not say, does that make sense? A hundred times. you know, it's, it's just so strange. And I feel this podcast is our way of trying to bring community together, but
we'll have opportunities to kind of expand on that. But I really think that is why Janine and I are here. We want to talk about how important community is. We want you to know that you're not alone. We want you to know that you don't have to sit in that anger because we can all process it. Staying the course is also a truly good highlight. We get our diagnosis and yet we stay the course. We keep doing these things that
physically and emotionally hurt us, we keep going on and on. And that's because it takes time for us to educate ourselves. know, Janine gave a great example of the fact that, she had her daughter diagnosed years before and no one said, this might be a good time for you to get checked out. You know, this is hereditary. These are things that happen. This is how women are affected differently than men.
And these are the people who are diagnosing us. So a lot of times, many of us are misdiagnosed. We are misrepresented. And we are overmedicated with anything but ADHD medications.
Jeannine Thill (09:31)Yeah, I think I read a statistic somewhere that I think for women who have late diagnosis, it's usually been like about a 10 to 15 years of them being treated for everything but. They were diagnosed with depression. They were diagnosed with anxiety. But it was like it never crossed anybody's mind that, huh, maybe we should test her for ADHD.
Jessica (09:43)Yes.
Jeannine Thill (09:52)You know, I can't say enough about just the community that you and I found with our coaching cohort that we're still in touch with. actually, I just said to you today this morning, didn't I? I was like, I'm not used to being in a relationship with somebody who doesn't judge me for my ADHD traits. And it's a really weird place to be. It's a great place to be, but you just have never felt like, you get me and you know it's not some moral flaw.
And we want you all to feel that way too, that there is understanding, there's acceptance. And even if your ADHD symptoms don't necessarily show up like ours, there is still support to be found. I think it's really true what you said, Jess, about it being a spectrum, because I agree with you. I think very much so.
just as autism is a spectrum. think ADHD is one as well. we want to take each episode, to talk about, specific topics. whether it's relationships, productivity myths, or just the emotional roller coaster of ADHD, we know that you'll find something in each of our podcasts that will give you kind of an aha moment.
what will really resonate with you.
Jessica (10:53)we want to be very clear that this podcast
(00:43):
is not representative of what coaching is. Coaching for both Janine and I, they happen in a private space with a agreed upon contract with levels of
boundaries, privacy, and there is an overall structure to it. there has been a lot online and in social media about what coaching is and isn't. And if you're interested in it, we'll make sure look down below. We will give, you know, our websites and we can give you resources to coaching and understanding. But again, what we're doing here, this is not coaching.
Jeannine Thill (11:33)let's talk about what you can expect from us week to week.
Jessica (11:36)We're here to validate your experiences and explore ways to move forward without sugarcoating the challenges.
Jeannine Thill (11:42)we want to keep things real and relatable.
this isn't about perfection or quick fixes. It's about making sense of all of our unique journeys.
one episode at a time.
Jessica (11:50)Exactly.
Jeannine Thill (11:51)we definitely want to make our podcasts enjoyable. And
we'll definitely be bringing humor in,
But be warned, there's going to be some...
inappropriate language, you might be hearing fuck a few times, but hopefully you won't be too offended.
a good word. It can be an all the words. It can be like an adverb, adjective, noun, verb. Yeah.
Jessica (12:08)wonder how many times we could say the word fuck in a sentence and it still makes sense. I wonder what the record is. I bet there's a statistic for that.
Jeannine Thill (12:13)You
But see, that's when the cussing relieves
Jessica (12:15)Let's talk about pissed.
Jeannine Thill (12:18)know, relieves the anger.
Jessica (12:19)It does.
It does. It does. And you know what? It also gives us something to smile about. I think the community can be a little softer to each other about laughing to keep from crying. People tend to be very reactionary when people are joking around and, you know, making light of a situation. And that's their prerogative and that's totally cool. But we could probably give a little more grace.
Jeannine Thill (12:28)Definitely.
(01:04):
Yeah, definitely.
Jessica (12:43)All
so you know who we are, you know what we won't be doing, you know we will be cussing, so let's talk about the topics
Jeannine Thill (12:47)Ooh.
I like that.
There's so much to choose from and we're hoping as we go along that you all will let us know what you're interested in hearing about we've got a plan talking about RSD
accommodations at work, whether to share your diagnosis or not. Friendships in ADHD, for women with ADHD, struggle with keeping friendships, the guilt that goes along with ADHD, especially the shame that goes along with it. What else, Jess?
Jessica (13:17)I think that the most important point is what you said, Janine, that we hope as you hear us talk and as you hear us go through these topics, we do have things planned. We do have things we want to do. But we want to represent our audience and how women are
actually affected.
Jeannine Thill (13:37)we've always, talk about how there's this, you you read articles about how you're supposed to be organized or how to be a great mom, how to be a great wife, all of this stuff. And it's just really unrealistic. I think it's unrealistic for neurotypical women, but it's definitely unrealistic for ADHD women. And, but you're left with...
Jessica (13:51)Ooh.
Jeannine Thill (13:54)That's how it's supposed to be. And you make those expectations for yourself and other people might be having those expectations of you as well.
Jessica (13:56)See, I think that's an.
Jeanine, I think that's such an excellent example, right? It's like we spend our lives reading all of these top 10 lists, right? 10 ways to be more organized, 10 ways to be a better wife, 10 ways to have a better orgasm, 10 ways to do this. We all have these top 10 lists and
Jeannine Thill (14:05)wait, you know what? Repeat.
Jessica (14:21)They set expectations for us
that are completely out of reach. And that just rolls into more of our issues of feeling less than and not realizing because we as ADHDers many times take things at face value. If it's written down, well, then that would be what everybody else is experiencing.
because we are so used to being told we are wrong or we are the only ones who experience it that way. And so I think that is just an excellent point.
Jeannine Thill (14:52)Well, I think you just touched on another great topic is masking. I mean, that's just describing masking, right? And the emotional toll that comes with that. And yeah, and I think when you are later on in life, that's just how you've lived your life. That's a really hard one to drop or to not worry about feeling, you know,
Jessica (15:02)Exactly.
Jeannine Thill (15:19)that you're not living up to expectations to be okay with that and not trying to present to the world that you are perfect or fearing that everyone else around you thinks that you should be perfect. And that definitely takes a huge toll. And I think probably more so in, well, women overall, but definitely in later diagnosed ADHD women for sure.
(01:25):
Jessica (15:26)Mm-hmm.
Jane and I want to thank you so much. All of you for joining us for our first episode of angry on the inside. And we're so excited to be on this journey and we hope that.
you take the time to come along with us.
Jeannine Thill (15:51)If you liked what you heard, subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss a single episode. And if you're feeling generous, leave us an amazing review. it'll help other women find us.
Jessica (16:00)You can find us and follow us on Instagram at angry on the inside as well as tick tock. please share your stories and ask questions, even if you just want to connect with others who just kind of get it. And remember you're not in this alone.
Jeannine Thill (16:14)We'll see you next time and until then take care and be kind to yourself.
Jessica (16:18)That was beautiful, Janine!
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