November 12, 2025 • 16 mins
Ever gone from fine to furious in half a second? That flash of rage it's chemistry before it become emotion. In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explain how cortisol, the stress hormone, acts like fuel for the fire when ADHD brains are already running hot.
They dive into:
-
Why cortisol floods ADHD systems faster and sticks around longer
-
The addictive hit of control you feel mid-rage
-
What happens during the crash and why shame keeps you stuck
-
How to interrupt the cortisol loop and step back into calm
This isn’t about managing anger it’s about understanding what your body is actually doing when it thinks it’s in danger.
No shame. No “shoulds.” Just truth, clarity, and compassion.
🎧 Angry on the Inside is where two late diagnosed ADHD women, Jess and Jeannine, talk honestly about the intersection of brain chemistry, identity, and burnout. It’s real talk for women who’ve been told they’re too much, when really they were just running on empty.
00:00 – Fine to Furious in Seconds The ADHD Rage Experience Cold open that hooks listeners instantly with a relatable ADHD rage moment.
00:21 – Welcome to Angry on the Inside Real Talk for ADHD Women Show intro and disclaimer; Jess and Jeannine set the tone for honest, grounded conversation.
00:57 – What ADHD Rage Really Is (and Why It Isn’t Just Anger) Defining ADHD rage as chemistry, not character breaking down the real mechanics behind emotional flooding.
02:23 – Cortisol Explained Your Body’s Stress Alarm System Understanding what cortisol does, how it spikes, and why ADHD brains stay on alert longer.
03:59 – Why Cortisol Feels Like Fuel for the Fire How cortisol creates that temporary sense of control and why it’s really feeding the flames.
04:40 – Chemistry First, Reaction Second Reframing ADHD Rage AOI’s core reframe: emotional outbursts aren’t moral failures; they’re chemical chain reactions.
05:21 – When Triggers Stack Electronics, Traffic, and Tiny Explosions Everyday stories that reveal how sensory overload and stress stack until rage feels inevitable.
09:44 – The Crash and Shame Cycle After ADHD Rage Exploring the emotional hangover the exhaustion, guilt, and shame that follow a cortisol spike.
13:07 – Regulation and Recovery Finding Your Exit Ramp How to pause, breathe, and come down gently after emotional flooding without judgment.
15:54 – You’re Not Broken Just Wired Differently Final reflections and grounding reminder that ADHD rage is human, not hopeless.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
ever go from fine to furious in half a second?
Like everything's okay and then one dirty mug ruins your entire day.
Yeah, like your brain suddenly decided this is the final straw.
except it's not about the mug, it's your body and specifically your chemistry.
Trying to save you from a danger that doesn't actually even exist.
(00:20):
ADHD rage isn't just anger, it's a body that's been running on stress hormones so longit's ready to explode over anything.
Welcome back, I'm Jess.
and I'm Janine.
and this is angry on the inside.
Quick disclaimer, we're not doctors or therapists.
but we are certified ADHD coaches, but this podcast isn't coaching.
(00:43):
It's Too Late Diagnosed Women, unpacking what we've lived and learned.
Make sure to take what works for you and leave the rest.
and remember,
you're not the only one feeling angry on the inside.
Today we're talking about ADHD rage,
more importantly, how cortisol, plays into it.
Because ADHD rage doesn't appear out of nowhere.
(01:07):
It's often ignited by a nervous system that's already running on fumes.
Cortisol isn't the villain, but when it sticks around too long,
It becomes the fuel
waiting for a spark
doesn't just mess with focus.
It messes with feelings.
When we hit frustration, rejection, or overwhelm, our brains respond like there's anemergency, even if there isn't one.
(01:28):
Like we're being chased
If neurotypical brains feel annoyed, ours feel end of days.
We experience emotions faster, louder, and with less time to think before reacting.
That's not overreacting.
That's a brain that doesn't get the memo to downshift.
Your nervous system sees a threat.
The cortisol starts rushing in to help you survive
(01:51):
except the threat might be an email notification or someone chewing too loudly.
Hey, I've got email notifications
You get that one from the boss, you're like, oh, shit.
the panic.
I would rather be chased
I could probably freaking agree with you on that one, Jeannine.
It's so terrible, isn't it?
It's like, I would rather be in a high threat situation than receive an email
(02:14):
seems less threatening.
And you know what I'm talking about.
when your brain is wired for urgency, every emotion
feels like an emergency.
And that rage moment, it's not a moral failure.
It's your nervous system trying to process months of unspent stress chemistry in aboutfive seconds.
Let's talk about cortisol.
(02:35):
It's your body's emergency alarm system made to protect you from danger.
it is great when you need to outrun that bear, but it's not great when your brain thinksthe bear is in your in box
ADHD brains trigger that alarm more often and have a harder time turning it off.
So chronic stress, multitasking, masking, perfectionism, all of it keeps cortisolelevated.
(03:01):
And we know all of these things we're doing every single day,
And when cortisol hangs around too long, it rewires how your body handles emotion and youcan stay in that constant state of just being ready to react, that constant fear state.
we become kind of addicted to that constant fear state also, especially when we'reyounger, Before we start to get to that exhaustion point, I really think that's when we
(03:27):
kind of thrive on it.
That's when you kind of like it, where you're like, I can do it.
just running high on that cortisol and that little bit of dopamine that you have.
when something small happens, the mug,
the tone in someone's text.
It's not that you chose to rage.
It's that your body's been waiting for somewhere to dump all of that rage to expel thatcortisol and flush that chemistry out.
(03:59):
And I think that's perfect what you said about the brain, brain kind of likes it or itneeds it, especially if it's bored, right?
It needs something to get excited about.
it is that release of rage like that momentary and it's like you feel so much better andit's way more fun than crying.
(04:20):
It's like our brains are like, five-year-olds that just constantly need to be entertained.
Go figure.
Right?
And we're like, I'm not that five year old boy running around not able to sit down.
Oh, I am.
It's just inside.
Yeah,
the rage isn't creating the cortisol.
The cortisol is actually creating the rage.
(04:40):
Exactly.
It's chemistry first, reaction second.
That sounds like name of a song.
Doesn't it?
Chemistry first, reaction second.
or a book on relationships.
Ooh, I think that's a better yeah.
what's really happening underneath all that cortisol and that's your stress responses.
(05:02):
with ADHD We just, can bounce between all these different states in seconds.
our brains are already overstimulated.
So it just takes one little thing, one little spark, a sense of rejection or, a noise orlike the chewing, like the person chewing.
Yes.
I've had that situation before.
I don't like is people breathing loud.
(05:24):
It just all triggers that survival mode, and it's just instant.
It's scary how quickly it happens.
I will say one of the instant rage ones for me that I know that I can go into a fightresponse is when electronics fuck up because I know I cannot fix them.
I know it is going to annihilate my entire day no matter what I do.
(05:46):
And there is just something about it that just and I will like it seems so simple but Iwill get so freaking rageful and angry and mad so fast.
I remember reading about ADHD symptoms and one of them was like low frustration level.
I thought, I'm like patient, I'm so tolerant.
And then when I really started paying attention, I've got like the fricking, tolerancelevel of a two year old.
(06:11):
I had a boss that used to say, Oh, Jessica has the patience of a saint because I woulddeal with the more difficult clients.
And I used to think, who the hell is he talking about?
Because that is not me, because I know, especially when I was younger, man, my road rage,I would never got out of my car or anything like that.
Thank God.
But, just being in the car, driving home from work every day and the Chicagoland area.
(06:34):
Oh, God.
Who?
So.
Every day.
I lived like, what was it?
four miles from my job every day, 45 minutes, one direction every day.
would drive me insane.
(06:54):
It did drive me insane, but.
where I just rather, would go 50 miles out of my way just so the car would be moving.
You know?
and for my husband, my husband had close to the same track, but he took the traindowntown.
So he was 30 miles away and I was four or five miles away.
(07:15):
And it took us both the same amount of time to get there, but he didn't have to deal withbreaking and stopping.
He just found his favorite seat and plugged in until they pulled into the station,
a hard way to start a day and end it.
Right?
all of these responses, it's that cortisol flood.
It's the chemical cue telling your body that you're not safe.
(07:39):
it's one of those things that once somebody says, it's like you're flooded with cortisol,you instantly know like, my God, that's exactly how I feel.
And I can't remember even talking to my daughter when she was really little.
And I suddenly, just said, you feel flooded, don't you?
And she was like eight and she just looked at me like, my God, you get it, you know.
(08:00):
But I feel like if you haven't had that feeling of being flooded,
once you do, I know, you know exactly what we're talking about,
I do know exactly what you're talking about.
And I'd love that your daughter did.
some of those descriptions and this is totally off topic.
when kids do that, and they look at you and you feel like you're just connected, like youboth know exactly what's going on in that moment.
(08:23):
I swear epigenetics
like this little link between your brains and it's like you, it's like not telepathy, butyou just know.
And when it happens with your kids, when they're little, especially though, things likethat, I just find that to be so amazing.
You know, I gotta make a Taylor reference because that's the thing about her, it's somagical.
You can have an emotion, have no idea, and she has a lyric for it.
(08:46):
And you're like, my God, that's exactly how I felt about that situation.
I just couldn't come up with the words.
And you just have no idea.
resonates with you at that level.
It's just so special.
Whatever emotion sheet you have, she's got a song for that.
Which is also very just amazing in and of itself, the emotional range that she is able tobring to her catalog.
(09:09):
I think that's very interesting
That's why she has so many fans.
but you know, I love her for a business sense.
I just can't help it.
I was going to say that's just about as good.
the longer you live flooded with cortisol, your body starts to treat that as just likedaily life, daily life is just a full-time emergency.
(09:31):
You're always on edge.
You're always on watch.
You're always on guard.
this is the time in your life when I feel like you start to notice that you start tovibrate.
like this little low hum of impending doom and it just sits there with you.
And once you notice it, it takes a lot of work to get that to go away.
(09:53):
But that's, why we're doing this episode to explain how the chemistry connects to thechaos.
And I think that's the same we talk about like, being hyperactive or restless my brain'sdoing that all the time, And it starts to just make you just kind of crazy.
(10:14):
after you've had this explosion, you're not just emotionally drained, but you're actuallyphysically exhausted.
Chronic cortisol messes everything up.
It messes with your sleep, your digestion, your memory, your immune system.
I mean, that's why ADHD burnout feels like the flu, not laziness.
(10:35):
I always love when they call it laziness because it's just like, I'm exhausted.
I thought lazy was just you weren't doing something because you didn't want to orwhatever.
You said that kind of you're vibrating, It's like you're tired, but you're also kind ofwired up at the same time.
Your body wants to rest, but yet your brain is refusing to shut down.
(10:55):
Just
takes a life of its own.
here comes the shame hangover or the wine hangover, depending on what kind of night you'rehaving.
And that's totally okay.
But it is the guilt.
also a shame hangover?
It's kind of, yeah, let's be honest.
think they're kind of one and the same for some people.
no matter what that guilt's come in and you know that why did I say that replay loop inyour head?
(11:18):
It's not just the big booms.
It's the quiet fawns also Why did I say I would do this?
Why did I say it was okay?
why did I just walk away
rather than standing there and expressing my opinion, then if you did rage, if you didfight, if you did decide to say something, I think it's just something about us in
general, maybe the neurodiverse community that because we hold so much in when we decideto get mean, we get real mean.
(11:45):
that fight, that rage response, it can be downright hateful.
And I think that's one of those ones that
when it does come out, that's the true guilt.
That's like the worst of all, when it comes to guilt, I think the others tie closely intoshame because we feel like we haven't advocated for ourselves or we haven't stuck up for
(12:06):
ourselves or we think of all the ways we could have been stronger in the moment.
But when it comes to the fight, I think that's where the real regrets.
come into play.
I have had those words almost like an out of body experience.
Like you're hearing yourself or seeing yourself and you're thinking, what the fuck?
(12:29):
Where did this come from?
Why am I saying it?
Once again, you can't explain yourself, Because you can tell someone, I am so sorry, Ididn't mean it, but they were the recipient of it.
And you had so much vitriol, that the word?
And you just had, there was just so much emotion behind what you said.
If you put yourself in that other person's shoes, you can see why it's really hard forthem to be like, okay, never mind.
(12:55):
You just said it.
You didn't mean it.
But then you also can't explain why you said it.
the thing is you can't shame yourself out of a cortisol crash.
However , you can learn to regulate it
And self-regulation is the key.
Emotional regulation, self-regulation, learning to self-regulate.
That saves lives.
(13:16):
That can literally save a life, whether it's yours or someone else's.
or saving a relationship.
Yes.
saving a life can mean saving a relationship.
It can mean saving the life and the grace that you would have had had you not fucked up.
We lose jobs, we lose money, we lose out on so much.
(13:37):
And yeah, we're hardwired for it.
Yes, we have these overwhelming cortisol dumps and
these adrenaline dumps and all these things were happening to us.
But at the end of the day, it's still landing in our laps, learning how to regulateourselves, Once we're adults and looking towards our children to teach them how to
(13:58):
co-regulate.
let's break some cycles.
Awareness first, ADHD is not a character flaw.
It's your nervous system trying to protect itself, So it's your nervous system trying toprotect you.
And it's you trying to protect yourself.
And as we said, you can't shame your way out of it.
(14:19):
You can't think your way out of it.
The only way you can start to tackle it is by learning to regulate it.
There's several ways that most people know.
We want to highlight some body first resets.
We'll put the links below for additional information and infographics, but you feel thesethings coming on, breathe deep and slow.
(14:41):
Four, seven, eight style, End for four, hold for seven, out for eight counts.
Move your body, walk, stretch, shake it out.
verbalize, say, I need a minute, and then actually take a minute.
that's what you can do in the short term.
(15:02):
But the long term, it's all those things that we're always supposed to do, Get enoughsleep.
Watch what you eat.
Make sure you eat.
Therapy, coaching, all of these things can just help you.
really learn to reset your system and learn to take that moment that you need.
every pause you take is a protest against your own burnout.
(15:23):
What's wrong with me?
Nothing's wrong with you.
Your body's just doing its best to manage a stress system that's stuck in high alert.
ADHD rage, that's what we see, but the cortisol is what's hidden behind it.
That's the fuel
source, when we start to be able to,
learn to manage that chemistry.
The outbursts, the explosions, they start to become smaller, recovery gets faster, andmost importantly, that shame gets quieter.
(15:52):
you're not broken, you're just wired differently and maybe a little tired of running frominvisible bears.
If this episode made you exhale a little, share it with another woman
someone who's rage texted and then immediately regret it.
Like, why can't you take them back?
You should be able to.
(16:13):
And I feel like that's a million dollar idea.
You should set up something on your phone, right?
It's like there should be like at least a 20 second delay, right?
for people who like to rage text or who text and like screw up.
That would be awesome.
And if that technology exists, you please put that in the comments?
(16:33):
take a breath, give yourself some grace,
And remember, you're not the only one who's feeling angry on the inside.
Thanks for listening.
ever go from fine to furious in half a second?
Like everything's okay and then one dirty mug ruins your entire day.
Yeah, like your brain suddenly decided this is the final straw.
except it's not about the mug, it's your body and specifically your chemistry.
Trying to save you from a danger that doesn't actually even exist.
(00:20):
ADHD rage isn't just anger, it's a body that's been running on stress hormones so longit's ready to explode over anything.
Welcome back, I'm Jess.
and I'm Janine.
and this is angry on the inside.
Quick disclaimer, we're not doctors or therapists.
but we are certified ADHD coaches, but this podcast isn't coaching.
(00:43):
It's Too Late Diagnosed Women, unpacking what we've lived and learned.
Make sure to take what works for you and leave the rest.
and remember,
you're not the only one feeling angry on the inside.
Today we're talking about ADHD rage,
more importantly, how cortisol, plays into it.
Because ADHD rage doesn't appear out of nowhere.
(01:07):
It's often ignited by a nervous system that's already running on fumes.
Cortisol isn't the villain, but when it sticks around too long,
It becomes the fuel
waiting for a spark
doesn't just mess with focus.
It messes with feelings.
When we hit frustration, rejection, or overwhelm, our brains respond like there's anemergency, even if there isn't one.
(01:28):
Like we're being chased
If neurotypical brains feel annoyed, ours feel end of days.
We experience emotions faster, louder, and with less time to think before reacting.
That's not overreacting.
That's a brain that doesn't get the memo to downshift.
Your nervous system sees a threat.
The cortisol starts rushing in to help you survive
(01:51):
except the threat might be an email notification or someone chewing too loudly.
Hey, I've got email notifications
You get that one from the boss, you're like, oh, shit.
the panic.
I would rather be chased
I could probably freaking agree with you on that one, Jeannine.
It's so terrible, isn't it?
It's like, I would rather be in a high threat situation than receive an email
(02:14):
seems less threatening.
And you know what I'm talking about.
when your brain is wired for urgency, every emotion
feels like an emergency.
And that rage moment, it's not a moral failure.
It's your nervous system trying to process months of unspent stress chemistry in aboutfive seconds.
Let's talk about cortisol.
(02:35):
It's your body's emergency alarm system made to protect you from danger.
it is great when you need to outrun that bear, but it's not great when your brain thinksthe bear is in your in box
ADHD brains trigger that alarm more often and have a harder time turning it off.
So chronic stress, multitasking, masking, perfectionism, all of it keeps cortisolelevated.
(03:01):
And we know all of these things we're doing every single day,
And when cortisol hangs around too long, it rewires how your body handles emotion and youcan stay in that constant state of just being ready to react, that constant fear state.
we become kind of addicted to that constant fear state also, especially when we'reyounger, Before we start to get to that exhaustion point, I really think that's when we
(03:27):
kind of thrive on it.
That's when you kind of like it, where you're like, I can do it.
just running high on that cortisol and that little bit of dopamine that you have.
when something small happens, the mug,
the tone in someone's text.
It's not that you chose to rage.
It's that your body's been waiting for somewhere to dump all of that rage to expel thatcortisol and flush that chemistry out.
(03:59):
And I think that's perfect what you said about the brain, brain kind of likes it or itneeds it, especially if it's bored, right?
It needs something to get excited about.
it is that release of rage like that momentary and it's like you feel so much better andit's way more fun than crying.
(04:20):
It's like our brains are like, five-year-olds that just constantly need to be entertained.
Go figure.
Right?
And we're like, I'm not that five year old boy running around not able to sit down.
Oh, I am.
It's just inside.
Yeah,
the rage isn't creating the cortisol.
The cortisol is actually creating the rage.
(04:40):
Exactly.
It's chemistry first, reaction second.
That sounds like name of a song.
Doesn't it?
Chemistry first, reaction second.
or a book on relationships.
Ooh, I think that's a better yeah.
what's really happening underneath all that cortisol and that's your stress responses.
(05:02):
with ADHD We just, can bounce between all these different states in seconds.
our brains are already overstimulated.
So it just takes one little thing, one little spark, a sense of rejection or, a noise orlike the chewing, like the person chewing.
Yes.
I've had that situation before.
I don't like is people breathing loud.
(05:24):
It just all triggers that survival mode, and it's just instant.
It's scary how quickly it happens.
I will say one of the instant rage ones for me that I know that I can go into a fightresponse is when electronics fuck up because I know I cannot fix them.
I know it is going to annihilate my entire day no matter what I do.
(05:46):
And there is just something about it that just and I will like it seems so simple but Iwill get so freaking rageful and angry and mad so fast.
I remember reading about ADHD symptoms and one of them was like low frustration level.
I thought, I'm like patient, I'm so tolerant.
And then when I really started paying attention, I've got like the fricking, tolerancelevel of a two year old.
(06:11):
I had a boss that used to say, Oh, Jessica has the patience of a saint because I woulddeal with the more difficult clients.
And I used to think, who the hell is he talking about?
Because that is not me, because I know, especially when I was younger, man, my road rage,I would never got out of my car or anything like that.
Thank God.
But, just being in the car, driving home from work every day and the Chicagoland area.
(06:34):
Oh, God.
Who?
So.
Every day.
I lived like, what was it?
four miles from my job every day, 45 minutes, one direction every day.
would drive me insane.
(06:54):
It did drive me insane, but.
where I just rather, would go 50 miles out of my way just so the car would be moving.
You know?
and for my husband, my husband had close to the same track, but he took the traindowntown.
So he was 30 miles away and I was four or five miles away.
(07:15):
And it took us both the same amount of time to get there, but he didn't have to deal withbreaking and stopping.
He just found his favorite seat and plugged in until they pulled into the station,
a hard way to start a day and end it.
Right?
all of these responses, it's that cortisol flood.
It's the chemical cue telling your body that you're not safe.
(07:39):
it's one of those things that once somebody says, it's like you're flooded with cortisol,you instantly know like, my God, that's exactly how I feel.
And I can't remember even talking to my daughter when she was really little.
And I suddenly, just said, you feel flooded, don't you?
And she was like eight and she just looked at me like, my God, you get it, you know.
(08:00):
But I feel like if you haven't had that feeling of being flooded,
once you do, I know, you know exactly what we're talking about,
I do know exactly what you're talking about.
And I'd love that your daughter did.
some of those descriptions and this is totally off topic.
when kids do that, and they look at you and you feel like you're just connected, like youboth know exactly what's going on in that moment.
(08:23):
I swear epigenetics
like this little link between your brains and it's like you, it's like not telepathy, butyou just know.
And when it happens with your kids, when they're little, especially though, things likethat, I just find that to be so amazing.
You know, I gotta make a Taylor reference because that's the thing about her, it's somagical.
You can have an emotion, have no idea, and she has a lyric for it.
(08:46):
And you're like, my God, that's exactly how I felt about that situation.
I just couldn't come up with the words.
And you just have no idea.
resonates with you at that level.
It's just so special.
Whatever emotion sheet you have, she's got a song for that.
Which is also very just amazing in and of itself, the emotional range that she is able tobring to her catalog.
(09:09):
I think that's very interesting
That's why she has so many fans.
but you know, I love her for a business sense.
I just can't help it.
I was going to say that's just about as good.
the longer you live flooded with cortisol, your body starts to treat that as just likedaily life, daily life is just a full-time emergency.
(09:31):
You're always on edge.
You're always on watch.
You're always on guard.
this is the time in your life when I feel like you start to notice that you start tovibrate.
like this little low hum of impending doom and it just sits there with you.
And once you notice it, it takes a lot of work to get that to go away.
(09:53):
But that's, why we're doing this episode to explain how the chemistry connects to thechaos.
And I think that's the same we talk about like, being hyperactive or restless my brain'sdoing that all the time, And it starts to just make you just kind of crazy.
(10:14):
after you've had this explosion, you're not just emotionally drained, but you're actuallyphysically exhausted.
Chronic cortisol messes everything up.
It messes with your sleep, your digestion, your memory, your immune system.
I mean, that's why ADHD burnout feels like the flu, not laziness.
(10:35):
I always love when they call it laziness because it's just like, I'm exhausted.
I thought lazy was just you weren't doing something because you didn't want to orwhatever.
You said that kind of you're vibrating, It's like you're tired, but you're also kind ofwired up at the same time.
Your body wants to rest, but yet your brain is refusing to shut down.
(10:55):
Just
takes a life of its own.
here comes the shame hangover or the wine hangover, depending on what kind of night you'rehaving.
And that's totally okay.
But it is the guilt.
also a shame hangover?
It's kind of, yeah, let's be honest.
think they're kind of one and the same for some people.
no matter what that guilt's come in and you know that why did I say that replay loop inyour head?
(11:18):
It's not just the big booms.
It's the quiet fawns also Why did I say I would do this?
Why did I say it was okay?
why did I just walk away
rather than standing there and expressing my opinion, then if you did rage, if you didfight, if you did decide to say something, I think it's just something about us in
general, maybe the neurodiverse community that because we hold so much in when we decideto get mean, we get real mean.
(11:45):
that fight, that rage response, it can be downright hateful.
And I think that's one of those ones that
when it does come out, that's the true guilt.
That's like the worst of all, when it comes to guilt, I think the others tie closely intoshame because we feel like we haven't advocated for ourselves or we haven't stuck up for
(12:06):
ourselves or we think of all the ways we could have been stronger in the moment.
But when it comes to the fight, I think that's where the real regrets.
come into play.
I have had those words almost like an out of body experience.
Like you're hearing yourself or seeing yourself and you're thinking, what the fuck?
(12:29):
Where did this come from?
Why am I saying it?
Once again, you can't explain yourself, Because you can tell someone, I am so sorry, Ididn't mean it, but they were the recipient of it.
And you had so much vitriol, that the word?
And you just had, there was just so much emotion behind what you said.
If you put yourself in that other person's shoes, you can see why it's really hard forthem to be like, okay, never mind.
(12:55):
You just said it.
You didn't mean it.
But then you also can't explain why you said it.
the thing is you can't shame yourself out of a cortisol crash.
However , you can learn to regulate it
And self-regulation is the key.
Emotional regulation, self-regulation, learning to self-regulate.
That saves lives.
(13:16):
That can literally save a life, whether it's yours or someone else's.
or saving a relationship.
Yes.
saving a life can mean saving a relationship.
It can mean saving the life and the grace that you would have had had you not fucked up.
We lose jobs, we lose money, we lose out on so much.
(13:37):
And yeah, we're hardwired for it.
Yes, we have these overwhelming cortisol dumps and
these adrenaline dumps and all these things were happening to us.
But at the end of the day, it's still landing in our laps, learning how to regulateourselves, Once we're adults and looking towards our children to teach them how to
(13:58):
co-regulate.
let's break some cycles.
Awareness first, ADHD is not a character flaw.
It's your nervous system trying to protect itself, So it's your nervous system trying toprotect you.
And it's you trying to protect yourself.
And as we said, you can't shame your way out of it.
(14:19):
You can't think your way out of it.
The only way you can start to tackle it is by learning to regulate it.
There's several ways that most people know.
We want to highlight some body first resets.
We'll put the links below for additional information and infographics, but you feel thesethings coming on, breathe deep and slow.
(14:41):
Four, seven, eight style, End for four, hold for seven, out for eight counts.
Move your body, walk, stretch, shake it out.
verbalize, say, I need a minute, and then actually take a minute.
that's what you can do in the short term.
(15:02):
But the long term, it's all those things that we're always supposed to do, Get enoughsleep.
Watch what you eat.
Make sure you eat.
Therapy, coaching, all of these things can just help you.
really learn to reset your system and learn to take that moment that you need.
every pause you take is a protest against your own burnout.
(15:23):
What's wrong with me?
Nothing's wrong with you.
Your body's just doing its best to manage a stress system that's stuck in high alert.
ADHD rage, that's what we see, but the cortisol is what's hidden behind it.
That's the fuel
source, when we start to be able to,
learn to manage that chemistry.
The outbursts, the explosions, they start to become smaller, recovery gets faster, andmost importantly, that shame gets quieter.
(15:52):
you're not broken, you're just wired differently and maybe a little tired of running frominvisible bears.
If this episode made you exhale a little, share it with another woman
someone who's rage texted and then immediately regret it.
Like, why can't you take them back?
You should be able to.
(16:13):
And I feel like that's a million dollar idea.
You should set up something on your phone, right?
It's like there should be like at least a 20 second delay, right?
for people who like to rage text or who text and like screw up.
That would be awesome.
And if that technology exists, you please put that in the comments?
(16:33):
take a breath, give yourself some grace,
And remember, you're not the only one who's feeling angry on the inside.
Thanks for listening.
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