April 1, 2024 • 20 mins
Samahan mo kami sa pangatlong episode kung saan pag-uusapan natin kung bakit nga ba mahirap mag-sabi ng "no" at paano ba natin ito magagawan ng paraan. May mabuti nga bang dulot sa atin kung mas magaling na tayo na humindi? Pano nga bang maging magaling dito at ano ang dulot nito sa atin?
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Episode Transcript
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(00:06):
Music.
Episode 3 from the success of our episode 1 episode 2 and now we're episode
3 and we are going to talk about how to say no at bakit mahirap ang humindi.
(00:31):
Napakadali lang namang word, diba? Sabi na no to letter word N-O, o kaya hindi.
Pero isa siya sa mga pinakamahirap sabihin, especially I think coming from Filipinos, diba?
Bakit kaya mahirap magsabi ng ayaw ko, hindi?
Unique ba siya? Dahil Pinoy tayo, or talagang mahirap yung decision?
(00:55):
O kaya ano ba yung masasabi ng mga listeners natin about about their own personal
experiences in life. Right? What can you say?
That it's hard for you to say no? Or is it situational to say no?
Bakit? Saan kasi galing? Kung meron kang masishare para sa mga listeners natin.
(01:17):
Magpakamakata ka. Ano ba yung science? Hindi naman pagkamakata yung science,
pero there's a lot of research, marami ng pagsusuri na ginawa tungkol sa isip ng mga tao, diba?
Pero sinasabi ng mga universities, specifically Stanford University at University
of California in Berkeley,
meron silang mga pag-aaral tungkol sa positivity and psychology of saying no,
(01:40):
na sinasabi na yung isip daw natin, isip ng mga tao, is always negatively against
negativity. negativity.
So ayaw natin yung mga negative things. Miss predisposed tayo sa pagsasabi ng
mga things that are positive.
Kaya meron tayong negativity bias. So miss mahirap sa isip natin na isagawa.
I think it's part of the survival instinct na rin na miss gusto natin na magsabi
(02:05):
ng yes kasi magiging part tayo ng tribe.
Kasi kung iisipin mo yung mga nangyari nung unang panahon na magkakasama yung
mga tao and the most detrimental o yung pinakamapanganib na pwedeng mangyari
sa'yo during those times na mga cavemen, mga tribe.
Is ma-excommunicate ka o itiwalag ka nung tribu mo kasi mamamatay ka out in the wilderness.
(02:25):
So part of that thinking is that kung mag-a-acquies ako, kung susunod ako,
kung magsasabi ko lagi ng yes kung ipiplease ko tong mga tao na to, pamahalin nila ako.
That would answer, as a Filipino, survival.
Kasi diba, third world country tayo. Sa bagay. Sa bagay pwede nang sabihin yun.
Pero I think more importantly is kung matututunan natin yung skill ng pagsasabi
(02:51):
ng no. Kasi iba na ngayon yung survival eh.
It's all about mental health, preserving your time.
Diba may kasabihan nga na… Valuing your time. Valuing your time.
Diba may kasabihan nga na nagsasabi na you can make more money.
But you cannot make more time. So, mahalagang sabihin natin o mahalagang pahalagahan
(03:12):
natin yung oras o yung time.
And when you value time, saying no needs practical tips.
Kasi kailangan natin maging practical eh. So, ano ba? May mga pwede ka bang
ibigay na tips sa ating mga listeners?
But before going to the tips, di ba? Yung pagsasabi ng no, it allows you to prioritize yourself.
Di ba? it allows you to prioritize what's important to you. Your relationships, your time.
(03:39):
And I think that's where saying no becomes more impactful or more important,
more powerful in our lives.
The former first lady in America, Michelle Obama, said, you can't do it all.
You can't do everything.
So, because, you, how many hours do you have in a day? That's all.
(04:01):
A, A, 38. B, 12.
How many? Oh, guys, comment down. No. 24 hours, of course.
But with the 24 hours... But you can't extend it, right? No.
24 hours. That's why you sometimes hear, I don't have enough time in a day.
Because you only have 24 hours.
(04:21):
So if you don't prioritize it properly, by saying yes to everything...
Nothing. Wala, walang patutunguhan yung araw mo.
I mean, hindi naman sa literal na buong araw mo.
Masasayang mo yung most of the time na dapat kasing i-value mo yung self mo.
(04:41):
Sasabihin ko na sana kaugalingon eh, Visaya kasi ako.
Pwede naman, mayroon naman siguro tayong mga Visaya listeners.
Mga taga Mindanao at Visayas.
So pinag-uusapan na nga rin naman natin yung no mahirap tama?
So ano ba yung magpapadali sa pagsasabi ng no?
(05:05):
And ito yung lagi kang philosophy eh lahat ng bagay pwede mong pagtutunan diba
kagaya yung pinag-uusapan natin noong nararam podcast wala mong pinapanganak
na basketball player agad wala mong pinapanganak na matalino agad diba?
So lahat yan pinapractice sinetrain and even as you know Even as easy as saying
(05:25):
no Needs practice Needs practice Kaya,
Do the honors. Magbigay ka ng mga practical tips para sa ating mga listeners.
So kung nahihirapan kayong magsabi ng no, may mga tips and these are all science-based tips.
Meaning to say, napag-aralan, natingnan, nakita na hindi lang ito product ng
(05:46):
happenstance. Hakahaka.
Hakahaka. Storya ni nanay. Chika.
Kwentong kutsero. Meron talagang mga bagay o mga paraan para masabi natin yung
no. o papano yung mga tips, diba? Ano ba yung Tagalog ng tips?
Nakakatawa kasi binasa ko kanina. Ano ba yung practical tip?
(06:07):
Ano ba yung Tagalog ng tip, pabuya? Parang ano? Kidnapping. Parang kidnapping.
Oy, censored yun na. Hindi, diba? Ano ba yung tips? Diba ito yung mga practical
ways na pwede nating i-apply? Paraan.
Paraan na pwede nating gawin. So yung una dito is meron akong five tips na ibigay
sa mga listeners natin. Okay.
(06:28):
Guys, you can list that. Let's list it. Let's get a notebook.
So, here. There are five tips. Okay. Did you apply for these five tips?
We didn't discuss it offline.
I didn't. That's why I'm asking if you have a tip to give. Because personally,
it's hard for me to say no.
Always, I'm like, yes, yes, yes. There. So, Okay.
(06:50):
Narinig nyo na, pwede nyo siyang kunin as ninong kasi lagi siyang magbibigay sa inyo na agad.
Oo nga, nakakaano. Pero masaya naman ako with saying yes always.
But now, with our topic, I am so excited to learn the tips kasi for sure ma-apply
ko siya in the future sa sarili ko. Oo naman. Lahat naman na to pwede nating i-apply sa akin.
And then, pag hindi na, dapat nating siyang subukan, simulan.
(07:12):
Yung una nating ibibigay is, kung meron sa'yo yung nagtatanong ng favor or kumyari
may ina-ask sa'yo about something na, huwag ka bang sumama sa amin sa party sa linggo o sa sabado,
and ayaw mo siyang gawin, kung ang sagot dun sa tanong sa'yo is hindi 100% na yes,
or heck yes, heck yes, excited na excited ka, it's a no.
(07:35):
So wag kang magdalawang isip. Wag kang magdalawang isip. Kasi yun yung katawan
mo nagsasabi, ayaw mo nung obligation na yun, diba?
Kasi you want to treat it with excitement, diba? Gusto mong mag-yes sa mga bagay
na magpapasaya sa'yo, magbibigay sa'yo ng value sa buhay mo.
So kung ang sagot dun is hindi heck yes or super yes, magsabi ka ng no.
(07:58):
That's very simple. That's your mind telling you. That's very simple and magagawa
mo talaga siya. Okay, bigyan mo ko ng second tip.
Second tip is yung broken record technique. Wow, iba yan.
Ano yung Tagalog ng broken record?
Basag na, hindi, broken record. Sirang plaka. Sirang plaka.
(08:19):
So pag sinabi mong sirang plaka, hindi naman ito yung sirang plaka in the literal sense.
Ito yung pagsasabi ng no and i-reaffirm mo siya. Kumere, tinanong ka.
Bigyan mo ako ng example. Magtanong ka. Pwede ba akong makahiram ng pera?
So kung sagot dun is no, pwede mong sabihin na no, I can't lend you money.
(08:40):
Or hindi, wala akong pera ngayon.
Hindi, wala akong pera ngayon. So, kasi tatanungin ka ng paulit-ulit eh.
Kung consistent yung sagot mo. So, literal din siya in a way na sirang plaka.
Kasi di ba yung mga nanay natin, sinanay naman paulit-ulit.
Pero in a sense, sirang plaka technique or the broken record technique applies it.
(09:00):
And kung consistent kasi, ang psychology behind it is if you're consistent with
the messaging na hindi pa iba-iba yung sinasabi mo kung bakit mo sinasabi no. Yes, yes, yes.
Because you can say now that I won't give you a loan. And then later,
when you're asked, you can check.
That's it. Yes, and then he'll give you an idea to that person that next time, he'll ask you twice.
(09:23):
Or three times. The answer will be different.
Because there's social pressure, right? So if you repeat it,
the broken record technique, what we call the second in the heck yes answer, that's our second tip.
Pangatlo dun is yung offering alternatives alam mo ba yung ibig sabihin ng alternative?
(09:43):
Para sa mga listeners natin. Para sa listeners natin. Diba, meron tayong si Doc Alternativo.
So, bigyan natin sila ng alternativo.
Kasi like, yung alternative siguro, I mean, with my translation,
siguro bibigyan mo sila ng option.
Ayun. So, siguro yung technique sa pagkakaintindi ko, siguro yung alternative
(10:05):
ay, like, kunwari, example, sinabi mo, pwede ba akong manghiram ng sasakyan?
Sabihin mo na, hindi pwede today kasi gagamitin ko pero pwede mo siyang gamitin
next week kasi wala ako. Kung gusto mo talagang ipahiram.
Kung gusto mo ipahiram. Pero kung ayaw mo ipahiram, sabihin mo na kaagad na
I cannot lend you the car because kung ano man yung dahilan mo.
(10:29):
Be very specific, straightforward.
Huwag mo na siyang pahabahabahin. Pero magandang technique yun.
Kung willing ka rin namang gawin yung favor na inaas sa'yo.
Kumiyari, sabihin niya na pwede ba tayong magkape mamaya after work.
And you can't really because you have a commitment.
You can say, I can't today but I'm free next week. Oh, okay.
(10:50):
Wow. If you want to do it. But there are things that you don't want to do it's
better to be straightforward.
It's better to... Oh, that's right.
Wow, we have three tips. First, the heck, yeah.
Second, the broken record, the broken record.
Third, Third, the offer alternative, do we have another tip that we can give?
(11:18):
The fourth tip is focus on your yeses, as we call it.
So if you answer no, say to your no-goer the things you've said yes to.
Give me an example, it sounds confusing. So if you said no, you can say to him
the things you've said yes to. mo na.
Kumiyari, sinabi mo na, doon na lang sa pagkakape, ay hindi ako pe pwede ngayong
(11:42):
mamayang gabi makipagkape sa'yo kasi meron na akong commitment sa anak ko na
atend ako ng basketball practice.
O dahil may commitment na ako sa asawa ko na manunood kami ng movie mamayang gabi.
So ipapaalam mo sa kanila na yung mga... Yung pagsasabi mo ng no is kasi may yes ka na na ibinigay.
Diba may kasabihan nga tayong sinasabi na a no for something is a yes to something else.
(12:06):
Or a yes to to something else is a no for something. Because you can't give
everything a commitment.
So, it's always a decision. Right. But if you think, all things,
or the two decisions that you made, yes and no, it's important,
but you're just making...
Parang niri-reaffirm mo lang
dun sa tao na importante sana yung moment natin pero may nayasan na ako.
(12:30):
Importante din. So, in a way, niri-reaffirm mo rin siya na kailangan yung know
mo yung decision na susundin.
Kasi, yun nga, may nayasan ka ng una.
Tapos yung panglima natin is yung power, yung tinatawag nilang the power of not now.
So, talaga mo yun. Akala ko power of love. The power of love,
(12:50):
pwede din. But the power of not now, hindi ngayon.
So pag sinabi mong hindi ngayon, it's not as impactful as saying no.
Kasi di ba pag sinabi mong no, it feels permanent. It feels na no, not forever.
Pero pag sinabi mong not now, it means only hindi ngayong araw na to.
(13:10):
So parehas ba siya ng alternative?
Kaparehas din siya ng alternative. But it's like saying, there's a saying that
sometimes no means yes. This one has a lot of sayings.
No, I just want to connect what the Filipinos are talking about in the workplace.
Sometimes a no means yes. So yes, not today, but yes, tomorrow perhaps.
(13:36):
That's why when you say no, not now, for example, if someone told you, can you do this project?
Instead of saying no because you also have to do it especially if you're a worker
for example, you're an employee you don't have a choice for example,
the boss said to you you have to do this you can say not now but I can finish
(13:59):
it tomorrow or the next day because that's the set of priority so instead of
saying no you can say not now,
so since we're talking about that Do you have any specific examples that you
remember where you can apply any of those things?
(14:22):
Alam mo, sa sobrang dami ko ng sitwasyon na napagdaanan talaga,
mahirap makapag-pick or mahirap
mamili ng sitwasyon na pwede kong i-apply yung mga tips na binigay mo.
But thinking about it, lahat ng napag-usapan natin, I can for sure use it sa
mga future na endeavor or future situations na mapupunta ako.
(14:47):
And I hope, tulad ng mga listeners natin, Guys, let's use the tips so that we
won't have a hard time and we'll be confident.
The ways. The ways. Let's use that. Let's practice because that's why it's called
a practical tip because it's still part of your life as a human being to practice.
(15:10):
And it needs to be practiced, right?
We said it last time when we talked, practice makes perfect but nobody's perfect.
But practice makes better. Practice makes permanent.
So if you're practicing it, if you're applying it to your life,
you can make your life better.
And it makes you confident. I mean, you'll be confident in the future. Right.
(15:35):
So how do you say saying no with confidence? How do you say it?
What is confidence in Tagalog?
Don't be afraid. It's different from being afraid. No, just be...
Tapang pwede mong sabihin ng tapang or may paninindigan paninindigan tama kasi
diba iba yung impact pag nag sabi ka ng no pero yung parang you're saying it
(15:57):
under your breath na pag tinanong ka pwede bang makahiram ng pera.
Ganon parang dadalawang isip dadalawang isip diba alisin mo yung pagdadalawang
isip so number one pinag-usapan na nga natin practice makes permanent practicein
mo siya ng practicein kanino mo ba siya siya pwedeng practice in?
Family mo. Mm-hmm. Kanina pa.
(16:19):
Family mo, friends, katrabaho, jowa, asawa.
So paano mo siyang sasabihin? Paano mo siyang papractice in?
Be, maging casual ka na lang kasi, siyempre. Paano mo i-approach?
Sabihin mo, kailangan natin i-practice to ah, kasi ako nahihirapan talaga ako.
Para, in a way, ginawa mo siyang casual thing, confidence na rin yun,
(16:40):
paraan mo magiging confident ka na, uy, kailangan ko mag-say no sayo,
kasi kailangan ko i-practice na,
pahalagahan yung aking mental health or mental decision or social decision.
Kung may mga free time ka, pwede mo talaga siyang practice and practicein mo
together with your friend.
Kasi there's no better way of learning than role-playing or simulation.
(17:02):
Simulation na tinatawag natin. Even medical professionals now are doing lots of simulation.
So nagpa-practice sila kasi dapat mo talaga siyang laging inaigawa.
Ano pa? Believe in your right of saying no? Oo, kasi meron ka talagang right to say no.
Wala namang masama sa paghihindi.
(17:25):
And more than that, you have to value yourself and never forget na it's okay
to disappoint other people.
It's okay to disappoint people and wag kang ma-disappoint sa sarili mo na nakapag-disappoint ka ng iba.
Ayan. Kasi diba Diba, sabi nga ni, ng isang poet na ang pangalan ay Maya Angelou.
(17:49):
Wow. Kilala mo ba si Maya Angelou? Naku, basta. Narinig ko na yan.
Sabi niya, it's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
So kung lagi mong isipin na meron kang obligation, nagsabi lagi ng yes,
makaka-wear down din talaga siya sayo as part of your mental health, diba?
(18:10):
Aba, binabatuhan mo ako ng mga saying. meron akong say galing sa kaibigan ko
na hindi ko kilala pero nabasa ko somewhere if you are making if you are saying
yes to an event or to something make sure that you are not saying no to yourself,
wow mahalaga yan mahalaga yan kasi kung iisipin mo talaga yun yung pinaka gist
(18:32):
nung pinag-uusapan natin today diba saying no means saying yes to yourself,
prioritizing yourself prioritizing your mental health Protecting your relationship with other people.
So, to end this, guys, we talked a bit too much.
In short, let's practice. Let's practice. Try.
(18:55):
But I think it's very also impactful to say one quote from a person.
Because we talk about quotes.
Guys, let's copy this because this is the ending quote. for today's episode.
About saying no. So the key is not to prioritize what is in your schedule,
(19:17):
but to schedule your priorities.
So if you can prioritize yourself and schedule that priority,
you can live a better and happier life.
Good evening, guys. Bye. Salamat. Till next time.
Music.
Episode 3 from the success of our episode 1 episode 2 and now we're episode
3 and we are going to talk about how to say no at bakit mahirap ang humindi.
(00:31):
Napakadali lang namang word, diba? Sabi na no to letter word N-O, o kaya hindi.
Pero isa siya sa mga pinakamahirap sabihin, especially I think coming from Filipinos, diba?
Bakit kaya mahirap magsabi ng ayaw ko, hindi?
Unique ba siya? Dahil Pinoy tayo, or talagang mahirap yung decision?
(00:55):
O kaya ano ba yung masasabi ng mga listeners natin about about their own personal
experiences in life. Right? What can you say?
That it's hard for you to say no? Or is it situational to say no?
Bakit? Saan kasi galing? Kung meron kang masishare para sa mga listeners natin.
(01:17):
Magpakamakata ka. Ano ba yung science? Hindi naman pagkamakata yung science,
pero there's a lot of research, marami ng pagsusuri na ginawa tungkol sa isip ng mga tao, diba?
Pero sinasabi ng mga universities, specifically Stanford University at University
of California in Berkeley,
meron silang mga pag-aaral tungkol sa positivity and psychology of saying no,
(01:40):
na sinasabi na yung isip daw natin, isip ng mga tao, is always negatively against
negativity. negativity.
So ayaw natin yung mga negative things. Miss predisposed tayo sa pagsasabi ng
mga things that are positive.
Kaya meron tayong negativity bias. So miss mahirap sa isip natin na isagawa.
I think it's part of the survival instinct na rin na miss gusto natin na magsabi
(02:05):
ng yes kasi magiging part tayo ng tribe.
Kasi kung iisipin mo yung mga nangyari nung unang panahon na magkakasama yung
mga tao and the most detrimental o yung pinakamapanganib na pwedeng mangyari
sa'yo during those times na mga cavemen, mga tribe.
Is ma-excommunicate ka o itiwalag ka nung tribu mo kasi mamamatay ka out in the wilderness.
(02:25):
So part of that thinking is that kung mag-a-acquies ako, kung susunod ako,
kung magsasabi ko lagi ng yes kung ipiplease ko tong mga tao na to, pamahalin nila ako.
That would answer, as a Filipino, survival.
Kasi diba, third world country tayo. Sa bagay. Sa bagay pwede nang sabihin yun.
Pero I think more importantly is kung matututunan natin yung skill ng pagsasabi
(02:51):
ng no. Kasi iba na ngayon yung survival eh.
It's all about mental health, preserving your time.
Diba may kasabihan nga na… Valuing your time. Valuing your time.
Diba may kasabihan nga na nagsasabi na you can make more money.
But you cannot make more time. So, mahalagang sabihin natin o mahalagang pahalagahan
(03:12):
natin yung oras o yung time.
And when you value time, saying no needs practical tips.
Kasi kailangan natin maging practical eh. So, ano ba? May mga pwede ka bang
ibigay na tips sa ating mga listeners?
But before going to the tips, di ba? Yung pagsasabi ng no, it allows you to prioritize yourself.
Di ba? it allows you to prioritize what's important to you. Your relationships, your time.
(03:39):
And I think that's where saying no becomes more impactful or more important,
more powerful in our lives.
The former first lady in America, Michelle Obama, said, you can't do it all.
You can't do everything.
So, because, you, how many hours do you have in a day? That's all.
(04:01):
A, A, 38. B, 12.
How many? Oh, guys, comment down. No. 24 hours, of course.
But with the 24 hours... But you can't extend it, right? No.
24 hours. That's why you sometimes hear, I don't have enough time in a day.
Because you only have 24 hours.
(04:21):
So if you don't prioritize it properly, by saying yes to everything...
Nothing. Wala, walang patutunguhan yung araw mo.
I mean, hindi naman sa literal na buong araw mo.
Masasayang mo yung most of the time na dapat kasing i-value mo yung self mo.
(04:41):
Sasabihin ko na sana kaugalingon eh, Visaya kasi ako.
Pwede naman, mayroon naman siguro tayong mga Visaya listeners.
Mga taga Mindanao at Visayas.
So pinag-uusapan na nga rin naman natin yung no mahirap tama?
So ano ba yung magpapadali sa pagsasabi ng no?
(05:05):
And ito yung lagi kang philosophy eh lahat ng bagay pwede mong pagtutunan diba
kagaya yung pinag-uusapan natin noong nararam podcast wala mong pinapanganak
na basketball player agad wala mong pinapanganak na matalino agad diba?
So lahat yan pinapractice sinetrain and even as you know Even as easy as saying
(05:25):
no Needs practice Needs practice Kaya,
Do the honors. Magbigay ka ng mga practical tips para sa ating mga listeners.
So kung nahihirapan kayong magsabi ng no, may mga tips and these are all science-based tips.
Meaning to say, napag-aralan, natingnan, nakita na hindi lang ito product ng
(05:46):
happenstance. Hakahaka.
Hakahaka. Storya ni nanay. Chika.
Kwentong kutsero. Meron talagang mga bagay o mga paraan para masabi natin yung
no. o papano yung mga tips, diba? Ano ba yung Tagalog ng tips?
Nakakatawa kasi binasa ko kanina. Ano ba yung practical tip?
(06:07):
Ano ba yung Tagalog ng tip, pabuya? Parang ano? Kidnapping. Parang kidnapping.
Oy, censored yun na. Hindi, diba? Ano ba yung tips? Diba ito yung mga practical
ways na pwede nating i-apply? Paraan.
Paraan na pwede nating gawin. So yung una dito is meron akong five tips na ibigay
sa mga listeners natin. Okay.
(06:28):
Guys, you can list that. Let's list it. Let's get a notebook.
So, here. There are five tips. Okay. Did you apply for these five tips?
We didn't discuss it offline.
I didn't. That's why I'm asking if you have a tip to give. Because personally,
it's hard for me to say no.
Always, I'm like, yes, yes, yes. There. So, Okay.
(06:50):
Narinig nyo na, pwede nyo siyang kunin as ninong kasi lagi siyang magbibigay sa inyo na agad.
Oo nga, nakakaano. Pero masaya naman ako with saying yes always.
But now, with our topic, I am so excited to learn the tips kasi for sure ma-apply
ko siya in the future sa sarili ko. Oo naman. Lahat naman na to pwede nating i-apply sa akin.
And then, pag hindi na, dapat nating siyang subukan, simulan.
(07:12):
Yung una nating ibibigay is, kung meron sa'yo yung nagtatanong ng favor or kumyari
may ina-ask sa'yo about something na, huwag ka bang sumama sa amin sa party sa linggo o sa sabado,
and ayaw mo siyang gawin, kung ang sagot dun sa tanong sa'yo is hindi 100% na yes,
or heck yes, heck yes, excited na excited ka, it's a no.
(07:35):
So wag kang magdalawang isip. Wag kang magdalawang isip. Kasi yun yung katawan
mo nagsasabi, ayaw mo nung obligation na yun, diba?
Kasi you want to treat it with excitement, diba? Gusto mong mag-yes sa mga bagay
na magpapasaya sa'yo, magbibigay sa'yo ng value sa buhay mo.
So kung ang sagot dun is hindi heck yes or super yes, magsabi ka ng no.
(07:58):
That's very simple. That's your mind telling you. That's very simple and magagawa
mo talaga siya. Okay, bigyan mo ko ng second tip.
Second tip is yung broken record technique. Wow, iba yan.
Ano yung Tagalog ng broken record?
Basag na, hindi, broken record. Sirang plaka. Sirang plaka.
(08:19):
So pag sinabi mong sirang plaka, hindi naman ito yung sirang plaka in the literal sense.
Ito yung pagsasabi ng no and i-reaffirm mo siya. Kumere, tinanong ka.
Bigyan mo ako ng example. Magtanong ka. Pwede ba akong makahiram ng pera?
So kung sagot dun is no, pwede mong sabihin na no, I can't lend you money.
(08:40):
Or hindi, wala akong pera ngayon.
Hindi, wala akong pera ngayon. So, kasi tatanungin ka ng paulit-ulit eh.
Kung consistent yung sagot mo. So, literal din siya in a way na sirang plaka.
Kasi di ba yung mga nanay natin, sinanay naman paulit-ulit.
Pero in a sense, sirang plaka technique or the broken record technique applies it.
(09:00):
And kung consistent kasi, ang psychology behind it is if you're consistent with
the messaging na hindi pa iba-iba yung sinasabi mo kung bakit mo sinasabi no. Yes, yes, yes.
Because you can say now that I won't give you a loan. And then later,
when you're asked, you can check.
That's it. Yes, and then he'll give you an idea to that person that next time, he'll ask you twice.
(09:23):
Or three times. The answer will be different.
Because there's social pressure, right? So if you repeat it,
the broken record technique, what we call the second in the heck yes answer, that's our second tip.
Pangatlo dun is yung offering alternatives alam mo ba yung ibig sabihin ng alternative?
(09:43):
Para sa mga listeners natin. Para sa listeners natin. Diba, meron tayong si Doc Alternativo.
So, bigyan natin sila ng alternativo.
Kasi like, yung alternative siguro, I mean, with my translation,
siguro bibigyan mo sila ng option.
Ayun. So, siguro yung technique sa pagkakaintindi ko, siguro yung alternative
(10:05):
ay, like, kunwari, example, sinabi mo, pwede ba akong manghiram ng sasakyan?
Sabihin mo na, hindi pwede today kasi gagamitin ko pero pwede mo siyang gamitin
next week kasi wala ako. Kung gusto mo talagang ipahiram.
Kung gusto mo ipahiram. Pero kung ayaw mo ipahiram, sabihin mo na kaagad na
I cannot lend you the car because kung ano man yung dahilan mo.
(10:29):
Be very specific, straightforward.
Huwag mo na siyang pahabahabahin. Pero magandang technique yun.
Kung willing ka rin namang gawin yung favor na inaas sa'yo.
Kumiyari, sabihin niya na pwede ba tayong magkape mamaya after work.
And you can't really because you have a commitment.
You can say, I can't today but I'm free next week. Oh, okay.
(10:50):
Wow. If you want to do it. But there are things that you don't want to do it's
better to be straightforward.
It's better to... Oh, that's right.
Wow, we have three tips. First, the heck, yeah.
Second, the broken record, the broken record.
Third, Third, the offer alternative, do we have another tip that we can give?
(11:18):
The fourth tip is focus on your yeses, as we call it.
So if you answer no, say to your no-goer the things you've said yes to.
Give me an example, it sounds confusing. So if you said no, you can say to him
the things you've said yes to. mo na.
Kumiyari, sinabi mo na, doon na lang sa pagkakape, ay hindi ako pe pwede ngayong
(11:42):
mamayang gabi makipagkape sa'yo kasi meron na akong commitment sa anak ko na
atend ako ng basketball practice.
O dahil may commitment na ako sa asawa ko na manunood kami ng movie mamayang gabi.
So ipapaalam mo sa kanila na yung mga... Yung pagsasabi mo ng no is kasi may yes ka na na ibinigay.
Diba may kasabihan nga tayong sinasabi na a no for something is a yes to something else.
(12:06):
Or a yes to to something else is a no for something. Because you can't give
everything a commitment.
So, it's always a decision. Right. But if you think, all things,
or the two decisions that you made, yes and no, it's important,
but you're just making...
Parang niri-reaffirm mo lang
dun sa tao na importante sana yung moment natin pero may nayasan na ako.
(12:30):
Importante din. So, in a way, niri-reaffirm mo rin siya na kailangan yung know
mo yung decision na susundin.
Kasi, yun nga, may nayasan ka ng una.
Tapos yung panglima natin is yung power, yung tinatawag nilang the power of not now.
So, talaga mo yun. Akala ko power of love. The power of love,
(12:50):
pwede din. But the power of not now, hindi ngayon.
So pag sinabi mong hindi ngayon, it's not as impactful as saying no.
Kasi di ba pag sinabi mong no, it feels permanent. It feels na no, not forever.
Pero pag sinabi mong not now, it means only hindi ngayong araw na to.
(13:10):
So parehas ba siya ng alternative?
Kaparehas din siya ng alternative. But it's like saying, there's a saying that
sometimes no means yes. This one has a lot of sayings.
No, I just want to connect what the Filipinos are talking about in the workplace.
Sometimes a no means yes. So yes, not today, but yes, tomorrow perhaps.
(13:36):
That's why when you say no, not now, for example, if someone told you, can you do this project?
Instead of saying no because you also have to do it especially if you're a worker
for example, you're an employee you don't have a choice for example,
the boss said to you you have to do this you can say not now but I can finish
(13:59):
it tomorrow or the next day because that's the set of priority so instead of
saying no you can say not now,
so since we're talking about that Do you have any specific examples that you
remember where you can apply any of those things?
(14:22):
Alam mo, sa sobrang dami ko ng sitwasyon na napagdaanan talaga,
mahirap makapag-pick or mahirap
mamili ng sitwasyon na pwede kong i-apply yung mga tips na binigay mo.
But thinking about it, lahat ng napag-usapan natin, I can for sure use it sa
mga future na endeavor or future situations na mapupunta ako.
(14:47):
And I hope, tulad ng mga listeners natin, Guys, let's use the tips so that we
won't have a hard time and we'll be confident.
The ways. The ways. Let's use that. Let's practice because that's why it's called
a practical tip because it's still part of your life as a human being to practice.
(15:10):
And it needs to be practiced, right?
We said it last time when we talked, practice makes perfect but nobody's perfect.
But practice makes better. Practice makes permanent.
So if you're practicing it, if you're applying it to your life,
you can make your life better.
And it makes you confident. I mean, you'll be confident in the future. Right.
(15:35):
So how do you say saying no with confidence? How do you say it?
What is confidence in Tagalog?
Don't be afraid. It's different from being afraid. No, just be...
Tapang pwede mong sabihin ng tapang or may paninindigan paninindigan tama kasi
diba iba yung impact pag nag sabi ka ng no pero yung parang you're saying it
(15:57):
under your breath na pag tinanong ka pwede bang makahiram ng pera.
Ganon parang dadalawang isip dadalawang isip diba alisin mo yung pagdadalawang
isip so number one pinag-usapan na nga natin practice makes permanent practicein
mo siya ng practicein kanino mo ba siya siya pwedeng practice in?
Family mo. Mm-hmm. Kanina pa.
(16:19):
Family mo, friends, katrabaho, jowa, asawa.
So paano mo siyang sasabihin? Paano mo siyang papractice in?
Be, maging casual ka na lang kasi, siyempre. Paano mo i-approach?
Sabihin mo, kailangan natin i-practice to ah, kasi ako nahihirapan talaga ako.
Para, in a way, ginawa mo siyang casual thing, confidence na rin yun,
(16:40):
paraan mo magiging confident ka na, uy, kailangan ko mag-say no sayo,
kasi kailangan ko i-practice na,
pahalagahan yung aking mental health or mental decision or social decision.
Kung may mga free time ka, pwede mo talaga siyang practice and practicein mo
together with your friend.
Kasi there's no better way of learning than role-playing or simulation.
(17:02):
Simulation na tinatawag natin. Even medical professionals now are doing lots of simulation.
So nagpa-practice sila kasi dapat mo talaga siyang laging inaigawa.
Ano pa? Believe in your right of saying no? Oo, kasi meron ka talagang right to say no.
Wala namang masama sa paghihindi.
(17:25):
And more than that, you have to value yourself and never forget na it's okay
to disappoint other people.
It's okay to disappoint people and wag kang ma-disappoint sa sarili mo na nakapag-disappoint ka ng iba.
Ayan. Kasi diba Diba, sabi nga ni, ng isang poet na ang pangalan ay Maya Angelou.
(17:49):
Wow. Kilala mo ba si Maya Angelou? Naku, basta. Narinig ko na yan.
Sabi niya, it's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
So kung lagi mong isipin na meron kang obligation, nagsabi lagi ng yes,
makaka-wear down din talaga siya sayo as part of your mental health, diba?
(18:10):
Aba, binabatuhan mo ako ng mga saying. meron akong say galing sa kaibigan ko
na hindi ko kilala pero nabasa ko somewhere if you are making if you are saying
yes to an event or to something make sure that you are not saying no to yourself,
wow mahalaga yan mahalaga yan kasi kung iisipin mo talaga yun yung pinaka gist
(18:32):
nung pinag-uusapan natin today diba saying no means saying yes to yourself,
prioritizing yourself prioritizing your mental health Protecting your relationship with other people.
So, to end this, guys, we talked a bit too much.
In short, let's practice. Let's practice. Try.
(18:55):
But I think it's very also impactful to say one quote from a person.
Because we talk about quotes.
Guys, let's copy this because this is the ending quote. for today's episode.
About saying no. So the key is not to prioritize what is in your schedule,
(19:17):
but to schedule your priorities.
So if you can prioritize yourself and schedule that priority,
you can live a better and happier life.
Good evening, guys. Bye. Salamat. Till next time.
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