Childhood trauma, profound loss, and the road to recovery—Shawn Ruebush returns to the BeTempered Podcast with a story that continues to strike a deep chord with listeners. Sitting down with hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr, Shawn reflects on the incredible outpouring of support following his first appearance, revealing how opening up about his past led to unexpected yet powerful connections.
From the heartbreak of losing his father and grandfather to confronting personal demons, Shawn shares the pivotal moment that set him on a path to break the generational cycle of alcoholism. A blackout during a work trip became his wake-up call, forcing him to reexamine his relationship with alcohol and its impact on those he loves.
We dive into the role of a dedicated men's group in providing the accountability and support that fueled his transformation. Shawn’s journey is a testament to the power of vulnerability and self-belief—one that extends into podcasting, writing, and the challenge of sharing his truth with the world. He opens up about the enduring influence of family, the unwavering support of his beloved Granny, and the resilience required to rebuild after losing his home to a fire.
This episode goes beyond personal struggles; it’s about embracing authenticity and taking risks. From storytelling and legacy-building to the courage it takes to inspire others, we explore the power of trusting the process, even when the road ahead is uncertain. Whether you’re navigating personal challenges or seeking meaningful connections, this conversation offers invaluable insights and encouragement.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Catron's Glass.
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Speaker 1 (00:26):
Kitchen's best.
The clear choice.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we
explore the art of findingbalance in a chaotic world.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Join us as we delve into insightful conversations,
practical tips and inspiringstories to help you navigate
life's ups and downs with graceand resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
We're your hosts, Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr.
Let's embark on a journey tolive our best lives.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
This is Be Tempered.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
What's up everybody?
Welcome to the Be Temperedpodcast, episode number 41.
How you doing, ben?
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Very good, how about yourself?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I'm doing good.
I'm doing good, I'm doing good.
We've got, uh, a returningpodcaster with us today, my good
friend, mr sean rubush.
Sean, welcome to the betempered podcast.
Hello, thank you again, againagain, welcome back sean, what
16 weeks ago?
yeah, yeah I mean we're hard upfor people.
(01:21):
So, yeah, I mean we're hard upfor people.
Well, I appreciate you havingme back.
No, we obviously, after werecorded episode 24, which, if
you haven't heard, sean'sepisode number 24, it is
powerful and we got done.
And you said, man, there's somuch we didn't talk about and I
(01:42):
was like, yeah, there is Well,guess what we can do another one
.
And I was like, yeah, there isWell, guess what we can do
another one.
And so that's why we're heretoday.
And, um, sean, for those whohaven't heard your story, um, I
encourage you to go back andlisten to some of those key and
pivotal moments of of yourchildhood and and then into your
adulthood.
But there's, there's more tothis story.
(02:03):
Like I said, that we didn't getto before.
And, um, you know, beyond theloss of your dad, the fire with
losing your grandfather and allthe emotional struggles of your
childhood trauma, everythingthat you've been through there's
more to come.
But I want to ask you somethingfrom that episode what kind of
(02:27):
response did you get personallyfrom people?
Speaker 5 (02:32):
The only word I can think of is overwhelming.
You predicted it.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
You told me exactly what was going to happen and it
happened.
I got about a handful, maybetwo handfuls of phone calls and
those were the comments and allthat stuff was very impactful.
But to get a phone call frompeople that you don't expect to
get, a phone call from um, andthen some of them that you're
(02:59):
really close to, and uh, it wasoverwhelming.
Man, I mean I I remembertalking to the baseball coach at
Trail man and he's my neighbornow and the love he showed me
that day was incredible man, andhe knows what I'm talking about
and he called me and we bothgot emotional.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
It was awesome and I.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
I, the people that I didn't even know, like I
remember reading the comments,like I've waited over 30 years
to hear that and I'm like what,why?
Yeah, so it was overwhelming.
And it still continues to kindof like filter in, as you do,
(03:45):
the little shorts and the reelsand all that stuff.
So I mean it's beenoverwhelming, it's been good and
you were correct.
Again, a lot of people havecome up to me at basketball
games events that would neversay hi to me and has said hey,
thank you Like being vulnerabledoing this and just I appreciate
(04:08):
it and it helped me so much.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Well, I think it's a, it's a testament to kind of why
we do.
What we do with this podcast isis you know I?
I knew your story, not not thedepths of it.
Uh, and a lot of the peoplethat we have come on here, we
know the stories, most of them,but every single person has a
story right and a lot of peoplehold it inside, like you did for
(04:33):
for 30, 40 years, and talkabout what it was like, not the
responses, but what was it likefor you, just to let it all out
here's the thing I've let it allout thousands of times in my my
(04:53):
own mind, just not to otherpeople.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
Um, and that's how maybe that's coping mechanism
that I got through it all youknow.
Um, you know, I've told thecounselor that I talked about
you know, she kind of brieflygot the short version of it, but
I mean, I I think what hashappened that's been more
impactful is, now that I'vetalked about it, more people are
(05:18):
willing to approach me about it.
Um, yeah I, I and I'm okay withthat.
That that's fine.
I have zero problem with that.
I think that's probably themost impactful thing that's
happened from.
It is um, people can see mypassion on the football field,
but they have no clue where itcame from.
Now they have exactly they knowexactly what, where it came
(05:43):
from, that type of thing.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Yeah, but like we said before, there's more to
this story, and there there'ssome other pivotal things that
had happened in your life, and Idon't know which came first,
but there were.
There were a couple of thingswe wanted to talk about, one of
them being alcohol and the otherone being the car accidents you
were involved in, and maybethose two are related and maybe
they're not.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
But talk about those two things in the kind of order
as they went okay, um, so I, I,I when I didn't drink a lot, but
, boy, when I drank I surely diddrink the drink.
There was no stopping me.
I don't care who you were, ifonce I got that feeling in me
(06:29):
like it was going to be a longnight for other people too, and
it happened.
So, like I said, I didn't drinkevery night, I would never have
considered myself an alcoholicback then.
But I really got lucky.
I was with one of my goodbuddies and we were at a party
(06:50):
in New Paris and we weredrinking left, didn't get in the
car yet, but we were walkingdown the streets of New Paris
and the cops saw us, flash hislights and we ran through a
creek, kind of got away from himand everything like that.
Um, but then we made a stupiddecision later to get into a car
(07:10):
and I went to.
We went to his house but hisfather was mad we were drinking
this, that and the other thing.
So we we leave and head to mygrandma's house in new hope.
Well, my buddy at the time andhe knows who it is when he hears
this, because this is a funnyit's funny now.
(07:30):
But we stopped over at NationalTrail High School because he
had to go to the bathroom.
And we pull into the footballfield and I turn my car off and,
sure enough, here comes a cop,flashed his lights and sat there
.
So I got arrested for underagedrinking and so did my buddy
(07:51):
that was with me.
So I was lucky, got very luckythat I didn't have my car on and
didn't get caught that way.
But the crazy thing is thatthat didn't even faze me one bit
.
Went to jail, didn't spend verymuch time in jail, like maybe
six hours, and just later.
(08:14):
You know I think that was about19 years old.
And then, when I was 21, got ajob at my first real job, at
Finish Line well, second job butwent to a buddy's bachelor
party and just worked late, gotthere late and in your mind you
(08:37):
had to catch up, got to catch upand, uh, they take your.
They took your keys.
They did everything right.
They just didn't know theextent of how stupid and crazy I
was, so got hammered, drunk andfound my keys, got in my car
and headed down 40, doing about85, hit a low guardrail that
(09:00):
goes up and flew about 200 feetinto a corn cornfield, rolled it
who knows how many times andsat then that was at like four
in the morning and I didn't getfound till 7, 38 o'clock in the
morning and I sat in thatcornfield all for about four
hours.
Uh, cuts everywhere.
I am so when I say I think I'vehad an angel that's watched
(09:26):
over me because I should havebeen dead and it's hard to even
think about and comprehend thatyou sit in a car that you just
wrecked for over three, fourhours.
But that's what happened andthe doctor?
I went to Miami Valley Hospitalin Dayton and he says you're
probably lucky, you were drunkbecause you're kind of flimsy
(09:50):
and if you would have been tenseyou would have broken way more
bones.
But I shattered my right arm.
I got the scars right here.
I got two steel plates, 13screws.
I don't have the full functionon my right arm.
I hide it really well.
Most people never even noticeit.
And I broke my left, uh, lefttibula.
Um, yeah, so that was theaccident and um, like I said, it
(10:16):
wasn't that, it was just mebeing stupid.
Do you remember sitting in?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
the car?
No, you don't remember, I don'teven remember I barely.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
I don't even remember much of the party okay I, I
drunk I was that hammered.
I remember wake.
Here's the first part that Iremember.
I remember paramedics somewhatpulling me out and I remember
who the paramedic was, um, andit was someone I knew and she
was like like oh my God.
I remember hearing that.
(10:44):
And then I just remember wakingup in the hallway of Miami
Valley Hospital and in a hallwaywith just what seemed like
hundreds of people because theywere so busy.
So they sent me to Greenvillebut Greenville couldn't deal
with my injuries that I had, sothey transported me to Miami
(11:05):
Valley and I just rememberlaying in the hallway sleeping
and then all of a sudden I wakeup and my best friend and my
girlfriend at the time was rightthere and I was like hey, and
they didn't even know who I was.
They didn't even see me.
There were so many people there, wow.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
So I had surgery on my right arm to get everything
fixed and yeah, I remember I wasat UD then and I remember
coming to the hospital andseeing you, um, you know, I
think it was after the surgeries, but it was.
It was pretty, pretty closeafter it had happened and, um,
(11:45):
that was tough.
It was tough for me to see youlike that because you know,
you're this man of steel, youknow in my mind and to know what
you had been through and and toknow kind of where you were at,
as far as not know where you'reat mentally, but you know, knew
what the cause was, but didthat stop you from drinking?
Nope.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Not even that.
So, and again, I think, as lifeprogresses, if you, I think the
creator creates your life for areason and when you don't live
the life you're expected to live, things happen, things happen.
The life you're expected tolive, things like things happen,
things happen.
(12:28):
And you know, I mean I canmaybe.
I stopped for six months, but Icontinued to drink.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I was smarter, I didn't drive but I still drank.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
I still I wouldn't say I struggled with the urge of
drinking alcohol, cause I'venever done that.
Um, never, ever, ever have Iever gotten home and just wanted
to crack open a beer likethat's just not me.
Um, in my head I'm like I'llhave more fun if I drink um,
which is not the truth.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
And then, once you got the taste, then it was once
you get, yeah once you get, onceI get that little bit of buzz.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I was the guy that just you wouldn't stop me.
So no, I mean, I remember manya times getting blackout, drunk
and having kids.
You know.
You know I had Chase Hunter.
(13:24):
So one very impactful story Ican tell you about me drinking
and how stupid I was is when Iworked for finish line we would
always do these shakedowns.
What a shakedown is is where amanager either got got fired or
quit and the store was tore up,ran down to where a new manager
would come in.
All the managers in thedistrict would go to that store,
(13:45):
clean it up, give that newmanager a fresh start to where
he wasn't always fighting frombehind.
So those were called shakedowns.
We did a shakedown inBloomington, indiana and Hunter
wasn't born yet.
He was about six months baking,maybe six, seven months baking.
And this was before cell phonestoo.
(14:06):
So I had a flip phone.
I remember having a flip phone.
So we went to the Shakedown at8 o'clock in the morning in
Bloomington, indiana.
So I get up early in themorning, drive to Bloomington,
we work until about 7 or 8o'clock at night.
We went to the Crazy Horse inBloomington, indiana, which is
their main bar, and work all day.
Don't eat, get there, eat andjust start drinking.
(14:28):
And I didn't check into thehotel beforehand.
Some of them did.
Some of them didn't, but Idrove to the bar and, long story
short, I ended up 25 milessouth of Bloomington, indiana.
I have no clue how I got there.
I was in a gas station and Iwas sleeping in my car and I got
(14:51):
a knock on the window and Ilook up and there was a lady,
was like, and I roll my windowdown and she's like are you okay
?
And I said yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
I'm fine.
Speaker 5 (15:03):
And then I gather myself and I'm fine, and and
then I gather myself and I'mlike where?
the hell am?
I had no clue where I was.
It's not like I can get on mycell phone.
This was back in the days, likeI said, I had a flip phone.
So I gather myself a little bitand I'm still you know how it
is.
And when you're hung over, Iget up, walk into the gas
(15:27):
station.
I'm like where am I at?
And she tells me.
She tells me, and I was like sohow far away is that from
Bloomington?
She goes you're about 25 milessouth on the interstate.
So that was about 6.30ish inthe morning and I had to be back
at that store at 8 o'clock inthe morning.
So I start driving and I getthere about 7.15ish my phone's
(15:50):
about to die.
Phone dies as I'm waiting and Igot to make a decision.
I got to make a decisionwhether either I go in like I
didn't know how my boss wasgoing to react I didn't take a
shower still probably smell likealcohol smell like alcohol.
I wasn't going to work there forthe next eight hours smelling
(16:13):
like that right didn't checkinto the hotel, so I make a
decision with a dead phone todrive three and a half hours
home, about 7 30 in the morning.
All right, so that's about athree and a half four hour drive
, no phone.
We're supposed to be there ateight.
I'm not there at eight.
I'm not there at 8 30 I'm notthere at nine you can't get a
(16:36):
hold of me.
So the district manager callsthe hospitals, calls the jails,
nothing.
So then he calls my wife at thetime, sends a panic in her,
which it any it would anybodysure.
So so I don't make it home till11, 11, 30, charge my phone and
(16:58):
I call jamie and let her knowlike that's the type of asshole
that alcohol and that shit doesto people and that and I was
that guy.
So that put that, definitelyput the brakes on the drinking a
little bit, but it still didn'tstop you, still didn't stop me.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Man, what stopped you ?
The divorce?
Speaker 5 (17:21):
that's what stopped you two things the divorce.
That's what stopped you twothings the divorce.
Because she was afraid of mewhen I was drinking, yeah, and
it why I mean in my mind,there's no reason to be afraid
of me.
But right she was yeah so thathurt.
(17:46):
And then I got into a men'sgroup with some other really
good men and we always talkingabout generational curses and
the first one that comes into myhead from my from my dad
drinking I see I don't even likeit's gonna stop with me yeah
(18:08):
period.
My kids are gonna not blame mefor the generational curse of
alcoholism in our family, and Isome.
So I stopped.
For about six years afterdivorce I didn't drink at all.
(18:30):
Then one time, like one time, Iwas like, okay, I'm going to go
to this party, I'm going tohave fun.
And I got drunk again.
And never again.
I'll never, ever drink alcoholever again in my life.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah, and now I drank a beer in Florida last year
because we're playing spike balland it was hotter than hades
and but you said you didn't feellike you had to get drunk.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
No, I just drank it, threw it in the trash and just
to clench the thirst and I nevereven thought about it.
It was either that or a caprisun from, and I didn't want to
steal a capri sun from all thekids but the big thing is
degenerational curses um, andalcoholism is in this family and
it's not no more yeah, that'spretty awesome.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
It's crazy to think, though, that it took you 40 44
years.
Yeah, I mean from the time youwere, you know, 17, 18 until
again worse yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
And that's why the divorce is okay.
Yeah, and um, I know I getemotional about that, but I get
emotional about what it's goingto do for my kids.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Right yeah, Because that's what's for my kids.
Right yeah, because that'swhat's important.
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
And I know we talk about it all the time.
But it's hard to break thosecurses when your kids are going
to try to be just exactly likeyou, exactly like you've been
exactly like me, and if youdon't set that example that
you're setting, it doesn'tmatter what you say, it's what
(20:11):
you do, it's how you act and Imade a decision.
And if they drink and theybecome alcoholics, it's on them.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
It's not because of you.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
It's not because of me and that generational curse
and that family anymore.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Man, that's dude.
I don't know how you keepcoming up with all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
It's life.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
I know it is but you know it's just so impactful.
And there's something elsethat's impactful, you know, when
we go back to your story fromthe first episode and you talk
about your childhood, growing up, and talk about your dad, you
know there was a piece of thatpuzzle we didn't get to and that
was your mom.
Talk a little bit about that.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
So when I was young, growing up, all I knew was life
with my dad.
Was young, growing up, uh, allI knew was life with my dad, um,
my mom was never a part of itand I never knew why, um, never
knew why, um.
And then you know, I had astepmom, stepbrothers, um, but
then when my dad and my stepmomgot a divorce, and then you know
(21:23):
, my dad, what happened.
When my dad happened.
There was a brief custodybattle with my real mom and my
grandmother and I don't know alot of the details I was only 10
but I do remember the judgepulling me and my brother into
his chambers and, you know,talking to us a little bit but
but I remember him asking uslike who do you want to live
with?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And I said my grandma like.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
I didn't know my real mom right.
Uh knew nothing ever.
I knew my grandmother, I knewthat was security to me.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Right.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
So we went to live with them, uh, with my grandma
and grandpa, um.
But there's this whole otherside of the family on the other
side that are great people thatI never got to meet, um so fast
forwarding a long time.
Um, they have tried to contactmy grandmother for years.
(22:20):
Um, they, she just mygrandmother.
Remember how?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
how protective, she was.
Speaker 5 (22:25):
Oh, yeah, okay well, this is one of the, in my
opinion, the dark side of it.
Um, because I have two great,unbelievable aunts that I've
never met until six years ago,and I'll talk about that in a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Yeah, but they're great people, um but grandma
protected you from them becauseshe was afraid she was afraid of
my mom.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Yes, yeah so, and I may be off base and I surely
don't want to, you know, angeranybody, but I, from what I've
heard, my mother was a drugaddict and I don't, I don't
fault my grandmother for doingthat with what we've been
(23:09):
through with, what we just wentthrough with the dad, I
understand all of it.
But when I was 18, when I'mbecoming a young man, that's
where I find a fault.
You can tell me about them andyou can let me make that
decision.
And you know what?
I never sought out to find mymom, but one of my aunts was
(23:35):
really persistent uh, vicky.
She would message me onFacebook almost every year, once
a year, and I ignored.
I ignored her for a long time.
Why did you ignore?
It's a good question.
I have no clue.
Maybe because I didn't want toopen.
I didn't want to open that door.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Yeah, Because it was just one other thing.
One other thing.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Like like look man, we shove our men as men, we
shove our feelings deep down andnot to know my mom and not why.
My mom didn't want to be a partof my life.
I didn't want to deal with that.
Opening that door to thatconversation Maybe open those
feelings, and I didn't want, Iwasn't ready to do that, yeah,
(24:29):
yeah.
So so after the divorce, or aswe're, going through the
separation.
I uh, she messaged me and Iresponded and I'm pretty sure
she had to go change her pantsafter sorry vicky.
She's been trying for 40 years.
She's been trying for a longtime, yes, and I finally
responded.
And she lives in Hawaii,beautiful house, great human
(24:56):
being she's been.
She's been nothing but great tomy kids yeah nothing but great.
Every year she sends them waymore than they need, and my kids
have grown accustomed to thatduring christmas and it's.
(25:17):
It's important, yeah, so so thehiding of it.
That's where I got superfrustrated, even in these later
years.
I'm like why?
Why didn't she just tell methat at least my aunts were?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
good people.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Yeah, so, and Gwen lives in Eaton came to all the
Chases, like came to a ton ofChases.
Events once we met hadthanksgiving, all that stuff,
man.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
So you can see how yeah, things happen for a reason
.
Did you ever meet your mom?
No, never did and she's not nothere anymore no, she.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
So when I first got in contact with Vicki, my mom,
my mother was still alive and Iwasn't.
I was hesitant at first.
Because of this, because in andshe came out and told me yes,
everything like that is true.
(26:25):
But she loves you, so never mether.
I had the opportunity to meether but never did and she passed
away before I could meet her.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Did your aunts, did they talk about your mom in any
way where where they could giveyou any insight to how she felt
about you?
Speaker 5 (26:54):
yeah, they, I mean I gotta meet my great my I gotta
meet my other grandma met herokay, um, but yes, they.
They tell me how much that sheloved us and missed us and how
much, how many times shecontacted and tried to get in
touch.
Um, but ultimately, she lived ahard life, um very hard life.
(27:18):
She probably makes mine look alittle, you know not so hard
yeah.
Um, from what I've heard, right.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Right, but from all that you've got some ants I do.
Yeah, wonderful people.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Which is great.
You know things happen for areason and we don't know that
reason, but you know there's areason that that happened now,
you know, or happened six yearsago, um, and, and you know, we
didn't spend a whole lot of timeon granny.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
No, we didn't but.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
I'd like to talk about granny, because I have
lots of memories of granny and,um, I know she's she's no longer
with us, um, but but let's talka little bit about granny,
because you know when I, when Ithink back to you, know when we
were kids and and wheneverything happened with the
fire, and you know I canremember and my mom has probably
(28:12):
told you the story.
I think you were coming over tospend the night one night when
we were kids and granny calledmy mom and she said now I want
to make sure that Shawnee's notgoing to be drinking my mom's
like no, granny, we don't, wedon't drink, we're good,
everything will be fine, we'lltake care of them.
So she was super protective fora reason, right, and, like you
(28:33):
said, maybe in some cases to afault.
But if you know your story andyou know what she went through
and what she lost, you know shewas not going to lose you boys,
right?
So talk about her a little bit.
Speaker 5 (28:49):
She was 4'9", about 110 pounds.
But when you angered her shewas 7' tall, 250, middle
linebacker for the Bears.
Yeah, she was a spitfire.
The bears, yeah, um, she was aspitfire.
(29:09):
She was um, I I don't like shewas.
She was the person that would.
She wouldn't be okay unlesseverybody in that room was okay.
Like she wanted, she would cookclean she'll.
She was a caregiver.
She was a caregiver.
She was 100% just a caregiver.
She felt at her best, I think,when she was helping people and
(29:32):
or waiting on them I guessthat's a terrible word to say,
but like just helping people,cooking, being the wife and
being the mom and thegrandparent and just providing.
Like that's where she was, andif you got even remotely on her
bad side because of us boys, youwere going to hear about it.
(29:56):
Yes, she wasn't afraid to tellyour opinion and my brother got
in a lot of trouble and it wasalways the school's fault.
Yeah, always, even when I didbad things, well, they probably
deserved it.
Um, even when my brother gotarrested, it's probably probably
their fault.
Stupid, stupid cops shouldn'thave arrested him.
(30:18):
He didn't do anything wrong.
Like that's the stuff that,looking back, i'm'm just like no
, and that's why fathers andmothers are important in the
household.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
To give that balance, because I think the discipline,
a lot of that, comes fromfathers and we didn't have that.
So she was also very I'vealready said this but she was
the best cook, and I mean thatwe very rarely ate out.
She was also very I've alreadysaid this but she was the best
cook, and I mean that we veryrarely ate out always was eating
(30:57):
home meals, home cooked meals Imean, that's where she was at
her best and she also taught usto fight Like she.
So when our house burnt down, wehad all kinds of different
things we could do.
We lived in an apartment overhere on 40, tiny apartment.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
I remember, yeah, tiny, close to Petro, one
bedroom.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
Yeah, Close to Petro down the hill.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (31:21):
But we lived there for a year while she rebuilt,
because that's what she wanted.
She's like that's my, that'swhere we live.
So we rebuilt and, um, you know, moved back to that property
where the house fire happened.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
How was that?
Did that have any effect on youas a kid, going back to that
same spot that you, where yousaw the house burn and you lost
your grandfather?
I mean, did that affect you inany way?
Speaker 5 (31:47):
I've never even thought about it until right now
.
Um, I think we were moreexcited yeah, to get back.
You know, I had a best friendnext door uh, I was probably 11
at the time um, she put a bigconcrete pad in the back, played
basketball back there.
So at the time though I'venever even really thought about
it um, a big concrete pad in theback, played basketball back
(32:08):
there.
So at the time, no, I've nevereven really thought about it,
but I had fun at that apartmentbecause there was a huge woods
behind it.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:22):
And I just go running through it all day, playing
huge lake in the back.
So I think, but it was a tinyapartment.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
You're on top of people, yeah, so I think it was
probably relief to get back.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Right, and you could be a kid.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
So we've had some conversations and you know I
hear people talk about ondifferent podcasts, about don't
be afraid to bet on yourself.
That's came up in your life acouple of times.
Talk about betting on yourself.
Speaker 5 (32:54):
So I told a story about you know, plan B and the
last time and all that andpeople putting doubt in your
mind.
So two quick stories.
When I worked for loves that,if you guys all remember, I said
(33:14):
you earned your pay, um, andthey did they.
They would even tell you if you, if you got, if you get 60 of
the stuff that we tell you to dodone, you're doing a good job.
They would tell you that theywould come in doing inspections.
A, b, c, d, f.
You would automatically startwith a, b.
(33:34):
They don't give, as that's thetype of company you're working
for.
I'm not bashing the old companyat all.
I was very appreciative, metsome great people, that type of
thing, um, but this was afterthe, the separation and divorce.
I just remember my DM justneedling, needling, needling,
(33:58):
and I was like, well, we'regoing to have to start
terminating people if they can'tget this done.
Like that was their comment.
They would, instead of tryingto motivate you, they would.
They would do it through fear,verton, instead of inspire you,
they would do it through fear.
And you can motivate peoplethrough fear, but it's a
short-term right turnaround.
If you try to challenge them,inspire them to be better people
(34:20):
, to move up in a company, thattype of thing, you get way
better results.
Um, but I remember just he cutlike my boss came on a visit and
just nitpicky as could be andhe said that term again.
He said it like two times.
(34:40):
Well, we're gonna have to startterminating people for it.
And I was like why do youthreaten?
Speaker 1 (34:46):
people like that.
Speaker 5 (34:47):
Well, you know you got to get the job done, if not,
we're going to startterminating people.
I go, do me a favor and fire meright now.
Do me a favor.
You can't find anybody to runthe store better than I can.
And just instantly, a switchjust changed in my brain.
I said fire me.
I dare you Because I know whatI brought to the table.
(35:11):
It took me a long time tounderstand that, a long time.
And then when you startthinking like that, like you
know what.
I got this, this is I got this,and I don't need you.
I didn't need my boss, I didn'tneed need him I needed the
people around me, right, but Ialready had the respect of the
(35:32):
people that I worked with.
But I finally stood up formyself and I finally told him
that and that gave me theconfidence to walk away from
that job.
About six months later, I wasdone and I made a lot of money.
Yeah, to walk away from thatjob.
About six months later, I wasdone.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
And.
Speaker 5 (35:51):
I made a lot of money and it's the best decision I've
ever made.
It's one of the best decisionsI've ever made.
And was it scary?
Sure, just like when you boughtCajun's Glass.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
I couldn't imagine.
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:06):
But yeah, it was scary stepping away from that.
But at that point so manyemotions come to you when you're
just fed up with, you know howyour life's going, especially
when there's leadership likethat yeah, yeah and um, yeah and
um it it was at the time, whichis crazy, like going through
(36:30):
the divorce, going through theseparation just got done through
counseling, like my mind'sstarting to shift and not
drinking anymore, that type ofthing, and I walked away from
that job.
I walked away from that career.
I walked away from that career.
Yeah, that takes a lot.
I had no clue what I was goingto do either.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
You just knew that.
Speaker 5 (36:54):
Hey, I had an ideal that maybe I like at the time I
was in AdvoCare doing that, butI knew that wasn't going to be
my main source of income, Right?
Speaker 3 (37:05):
So so you?
So let's say, there's kids outthere, adults out there
listening, and they have thosefeelings that you had, but maybe
they don't have the confidence.
What do you tell them?
What's your advice to someonewho's who's got a boss like that
, who's you know?
Just constant negativity, justwearing them out Every time the
(37:28):
boss comes in.
They're on pins and needlesbecause they know something's
coming, but they know they'redoing what they're supposed to
be doing, but they're ready totake that next step.
They're just afraid to take thestep.
Um jump, have faith.
Speaker 5 (37:40):
If and I've said this the last time if you're not
happy, that's on you and that'sthat mindset that that I set
(38:02):
that I had, like I here's whatit really came down to and this
is the advice I had to givepeople.
I knew what my next 10 yearswas going to look like working
in retail.
I knew it.
I can walk that out.
I didn't want that, okay.
(38:24):
So what are you going to doabout it?
I took the plunge because itwouldn't have pushed me as hard
in what I was doing if I wasstill working here because you
had the comfort of the job whenyou have the comfort of the job.
You're not.
I don't think you're going topush yourself to be the best you
(38:47):
can be, but when you take thatfaith, when you take that step
of faith, yeah there's nolooking back, yeah and you.
You have to get it done on yourown.
And and again that comes backto taking responsibility for
your own life and your ownhappiness and your own choices.
When you do that, the mindsetyou know what.
(39:10):
I don't need them.
They need me more than.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
I need them yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
And they did and that's the mindset that from
that point on, that I did andthat I lived and I never, I've
never started.
I stopped thinking about money.
Also, you got to.
I tell my kids find what youenjoy, find what you're
(39:37):
passionate about and go afterthat.
Money will come.
If you chase money, you makestupid decisions, like I did,
and get into a job thatultimately gets you divorced.
Hating your life not a badfather coming home hating life,
drinking Just spirals out ofcontrol.
(39:58):
Smart man told me men hide inthree things women, alcohol and
their job.
And I had enough of it, man,and I stepped away.
And I just stepped away, man.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Took that leap of faith.
Yeah, man, oh man, sean, you'refreaking awesome you are.
And you know, I, as you'retalking, I, I we've had many
people on here, ben when theyget their backs up against the
wall, that's when it, you know,that's when you really shine
right.
When your backs up against thewall and you got nowhere else to
(40:37):
go but forward, right, that'swhen you see the kind of person
that you are and that's whereyou're at and you took that step
and it was like I'm done withthis.
I mean that's, that's awesome.
(40:57):
So what I want to get to next,um, you know from the podcast
that we did originally, where weare today, you, you've had a
big mind shift and I've kind ofpushed you in a couple of
directions and you kind ofpushed me in a couple of
directions, and you kind of pushme in a couple of directions,
and we've got a lot of things inour minds of of where all of
this can go.
But there's one thing that youstarted doing a couple of weeks
(41:19):
ago, maybe, to get your story onpaper.
Speaker 5 (41:25):
Talk about that.
If anybody knows me, they knowmy English skills is an F minus,
so I think it came on.
The ideal has always been in myhead.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
but then, when you had Jason Koger on here, and he
talks about his book and this,that and the other thing.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
And I got this bully of a friend.
The ideal was always in my head.
But I have started writing abook.
You want to talk about bringingup emotions.
I don't type very fast, so Iuse Siri to put it in there and
(42:12):
then I use some AI to help meclean it up.
And then when I go back andreread it tough, very tough it's
I almost don't do it Like Ithink I'm five chapters into it
(42:33):
and I've probably got moreemotional reading what AI says
about me after I tell it what.
I tell it what.
Here's what happened Right.
And then I got to tell, like Iknow Kevin said some things.
I got to tell it not to usewords happened right.
And then I gotta tell, like Iknow kevin said some things.
I gotta tell it not to use wordsthat I would never use like
(42:53):
gently flowing creek, likeyou'll never say that awesome
creek that you can jump and playin or something like that, like
so, but rereading it back likeit, it's not easy for me to do,
and it's.
If you'd have told me that I'mtrying to write a book and I
don't, I I'd have literally saidyou're an idiot.
(43:15):
Why it's uncomfortable, 100uncomfortable.
Anybody that reads my email atwork, they know that I cannot
write a book, so it's justuncomfortable.
But again, who puts thoughts inyour mind?
(43:39):
Who Do you think?
do I think of them, or are theyplanted there?
I don't know, but that's beenin my mind.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
You, it's been in your mind, oh yeah it's been in
my mind for a lot of years.
We've just never.
We've just never had thatconnection to actually talk
about it.
And, for whatever reason youknow, we started a podcast which
, and still, is veryuncomfortable for me.
I mean, believe it or not, thisis uncomfortable.
(44:11):
I mean I'm putting myself outthere.
You know Ben's putting himselfout there and we've got no
problem talking to people.
But when you do it in a settinglike this, every week, having
conversations, I mean you'rereally opening the door to the
kind of person that you are andthe life that you live and your
(44:32):
thoughts and your feelings andall these things.
It's tough, but I love it, it'sworth it.
Speaker 5 (44:38):
Yeah, it's worth it, anything worth doing.
It's not going to be easy,that's right, and I bet you were
very uncomfortable a few timeslast week with Kim on here.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
Yeah, no, I was excited for her.
That was I've been pushing her.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
I saw you squirm over there a few times You're making
me squirm right now I know thatwas the best part of the
podcast, but Kim did great.
Speaker 3 (45:01):
Yeah, she did Um, but you're right, you know, did
great.
Yeah, she did Um, but you'reright.
You know, I keep leaning on thefact that there are people out
there, because we get messagesdaily from people about how much
they've enjoyed this episode orthis story or whatever it might
be, and if we can bring joy toone person, that's what it's
(45:22):
about and what we've learned isit's a lot more than one, and so
it's.
It's such a fulfilling thing tohear those things and have
people open, open up to you andtell you their story and um,
because you just I neverrealized before, you know what
people have went through orgoing through and everybody
(45:43):
deals with it differently.
And so, from starting thepodcast, you and I, you know,
for whatever reason, you listenand you start to get this
calling of you need to get yourstory out.
We get it out.
You're writing a book.
Speaker 5 (46:02):
I'm telling you what I tell you the other day what I
text you, what I tell you,what's going to happen.
I think you're full of it.
What'd I tell you?
I don't?
It's embarrassing even sayingyou can say it.
I'll confirm it.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Don't nod his head.
I, I told you that there'sgoing to be a movie about your
story.
Now, this may be 10 years down,this may be 20 years down the
road, but, sean, your, yourstory is so unbelievable, so
impactful, that there is nodoubt in my mind.
Your story will be a movie atsome point in time, and maybe
(46:37):
we're dead and gone, I don'tknow, maybe your kids will see
it.
But part of part of the processand and I don't know why I
think this or where it came frombut I knew that there was a
book for you that will beimpactful to millions of people
and from that there will be amovie, and now it's out there
(46:57):
for people.
So I'm telling you, man, it'ssuper impactful.
I am, I am proud to call you afriend.
I'm proud to call you a friend,I'm proud to call you a brother
.
I don't want to talk about wherewe think this is going to go
yet because, um, it's going totake a little time, but we're
getting there on on, uh, youknow, having even more of an
(47:18):
impact in in the lives of someyouth.
I think is is what's to come.
Uh, I'm excited for that.
I'm scared for that, becausethere's a lot of things and
we've had this conversationthere's a there's a lot of uh
things that that I think need tohappen.
I'm more of a person where I'dlike to have everything in line,
uh, and I know that's notalways the case and sometimes
(47:41):
that's not always the best way,because what do you say?
Speaker 5 (47:44):
just jump jump leap of faith.
There's this picture that I sawand it's.
I forget exactly what it was,but the guy's looking over the
edge and he can't see butthere's a net down there or
whatever it is, and all they gotto do is jump.
(48:05):
Are you the type of guy that,when you're going swimming, do
you dip your toe in?
You're just cannonball and gofor it I usually can't, oh yeah
why don't people do that in life, though?
why?
Why do people not take risks intheir lives?
(48:25):
Like you, can live a mediocrelife very easily, and I feel
like that's what I've done.
God didn't put this on me allof it to do that?
I don't think, and it's time tojump man Like I know.
(48:49):
I've had faith in my abilitiesand my work history, but now
that I think there's somethingbigger and we're going to find
out, we're either going to findout or we're going to.
Hey, you know what?
We're going to fall on our facemaybe.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
Who cares?
Speaker 5 (49:09):
I don't care.
You know why?
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Because we're going to learn from it.
Whatever it is, we're going tolearn.
Speaker 5 (49:16):
I feel, like this podcast, I've held my emotions a
little better, like I mean,that's what I feel like.
Maybe I've talked a littlebetter, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
I think you did great both times.
Speaker 5 (49:33):
Just, I always tell my kids to believe in themselves
, and it's time I start doingthe same.
Speaker 3 (49:42):
Sean, this is a good place to end it.
Man, powerful, inspiring,enthusiastic I mean, these are
the.
This is you, you know this isyou and I'm thankful for you.
Speaker 4 (50:02):
Um, I'm excited to see where we go from here.
Yeah, one of the things youtalk about, you know, when you
talked about alcoholism and it'sin and with you, right, like
not going down, like if thathappens with your kids it's not
because of you, cause you endedit.
I feel like the same thing'skind of true when you say like,
do you believe in yourself?
Like if you believe in yourself, go do it.
You know what are your kidsseeing?
They're seeing exactly the samething.
You putting yourself out there,you saying, hey, we only got
one life, we're going to go forit.
You know, I just yeah.
(50:24):
And then you talk about themovie and it's just like yeah, I
know, I know you think it's farfetched and all that Right, but
take yourself out of it, okay.
So a young boy goes through verydifficult circumstances all
throughout his life, all the waygrowing up to adulthood.
Then one day it just clicks andit's just like you know what?
Like been through all thisstuff and it changes.
(50:49):
And then all of a sudden thetrajectory is up and you take
chances on, you bet on yourselfand it's the true American
underdog story.
It is.
Would you go see it?
You know what I mean.
Take yourself out of it andthen think about it.
All the crap, all the stuffthat nobody can even imagine and
it really happened to somebody.
And somebody comes out on theother and stronger and better
than ever, and nobody can stophis joy.
(51:11):
Like that's the Americanunderdog story.
I mean I'd watch it.
I would too, so you got two.
Speaker 3 (51:20):
you got two viewers, yeah.
Speaker 4 (51:22):
That's double our goal Originally when we started
this podcast.
Yeah, that's right, two people.
Speaker 3 (51:25):
Anything you want to.
That's double our goaloriginally when we started this
podcast.
Yeah, that's right, two people.
Anything you want to say tofinish?
Speaker 5 (51:32):
thank you for both of you for the kind words that's
almost embarrassing to hear butthat's the truth, that's the way
I feel about it.
But again, but that's the truth, that's the way like I feel
about it.
But again, one comment onFacebook there was a kid in
(51:54):
Dayton that was struggling andhad some similar circumstances
and I remember a lady was likeI'm going to have so-and-so.
Watch this.
So, I mean Knowing that maybesomeone did watch the podcast
and it did help them, becausewhen you're walking through,
(52:15):
like Jason Coger, the John 13-7,like you don't understand why
he's doing it right now, but oneday you will.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
Starting to understand it yeah.
Speaker 5 (52:31):
And I fight against it.
I don't know why I fightagainst it.
I don't know why I fightagainst it Like I feel this and
I'm like nope, nope, nope, don'twant to do that.
Speaker 1 (52:46):
Don't want to do that .
Speaker 5 (52:47):
But like, why do people resist it?
I don't know why, but I getanxious when you say movie, book
.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
I get anxious when you come to my office and we sit
and talk about, you know, doingthe things that we talk about
doing for for the youth.
Um, I get anxious about that.
So I get it.
You know, those it's change.
It's not easy, um, but what I'mtrying to do is is look at it
as, uh, you know, like, like Ido now with with the podcast is,
(53:20):
you know it's, it's inspiring.
You know there's there's somany people out there struggling
for whatever reason and, um,you know, if we want to make
this world a better place whichI do, and I've said it before it
starts with us.
It starts with us as men, asfathers, as friends, husbands.
(53:45):
You know people are looking atus and how we react in
situations, and there's kids outthere, like you, that don't
have a dad, that don't know howto handle certain situations,
and maybe that's where we comein in some small part to help
(54:07):
that child to get throughwhatever difficulties they're
facing.
So I'm right there with you.
Speaker 4 (54:14):
We talked about it earlier this morning.
Imposter syndrome yeah, I mean,I feel like that's something I
battle constantly is imposter,no matter what section of my
life I'm in that I'm trying todo better at, it's just like you
just feel like, ah, I don'tknow if this is you know, just
feel like you're faking italmost.
I you're not, but it's like Idon't know.
(54:34):
I always think it's the deviltrying to insert, you know,
doubt in your mind I mean,that's what he does right to me.
Speaker 5 (54:40):
So that brings me to one of the football lessons that
we just taught.
The kids trust the process.
Like there's no instantgratification in the work we're
doing right now, like themessage is absolutely the
helping people, but long term,if this goes where we want it to
be, like it's a lot of hardwork and it's going to take time
(55:01):
um and I know your kids arelike well you only
Speaker 4 (55:04):
got x amount of views .
Speaker 5 (55:06):
Dance getters are very supportive, yeah right,
you've been doing this for 40weeks.
That that's not even a year.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
I know yeah.
Speaker 5 (55:15):
Just we.
You got to trust the process ofwhy you started it and believe
in it.
Yeah, you're going to havehaters Everybody does and that's
one thing that you guys, Icommend you on.
Like you're a business owner,you don't have to do this.
I know Like you're puttingyourself out there and I commend
(55:39):
you for that.
Um, I couldn't imagine, like Iknow, a lot of the good stuff
that comes from this, but I'msure there's bad things, maybe,
maybe not, there hasn't been alot.
Speaker 3 (55:51):
No, I'm not.
I mean not really Okay.
I'm sure people are talkingunder their breath or whatever,
and that's fine.
I don't.
That doesn't bother me.
I recognize that everybody'sgot their own opinion and I'm
okay with that.
There hasn't been any likehatred towards anything.
Speaker 5 (56:07):
I don't know how there really could be unless
it's just because we suck,because you don't know what an
ultrasound is.
Speaker 3 (56:13):
It's just because we suck, yeah, because you don't
know what an ultrasound is.
Well, yeah, that could be one,but you know we haven't seen
that yet.
But you know we're not reallyall the way out there in the
world either, you know.
So, yes, that'll come.
No-transcript people.
(57:00):
People come in my office crying, you know, and want to pray
with me, uh, because of of apodcast that they heard or a
story that they heard, and wantto tell me what they're going
through.
That that's, that's tough.
I mean, that's feels reallygood that they have the trust in
(57:21):
me to come and sit down andjust tell me their life.
But, man, it's, it's hard forme because, you know, I lay in
bed at night and then you startworrying about that person.
You know I mean, you know, I hada conversation with someone I'm
very, very close with, um,Saturday night.
They texted me late and wantedto know if I could talk and uh,
(57:42):
I did, and they told me somethings that I was um, that was
very difficult for me to hearand difficult for me to process,
um, and all you know, all Icould do, all I kept thinking in
my mind was I, you know, yougotta be encouraging to this
person because they're in a darkspot and um, and they're going
(58:04):
to get through it.
But I didn't sleep that night.
You know, I didn't sleepbecause of all the things that I
I felt for them.
You know, I felt the challengesthat they were going through
and, uh, they're in the fire,you know they're, they're in the
middle of the fire and, um, youknow, so that's a burden, and
so a lot of times for me, youknow, when we get done recording
here, I'm going to theArboretum for for a walk.
(58:25):
You know my daily walk, I goand I just, you know, a lot of
the times I'm uh, if people seeme out there, they're probably
like who the hell is that guytalking to?
You know?
Because I'm just like all rightGod, why me?
You know?
Why did this person call me andtell me what they told me?
I'm not a psychiatrist, youknow, I don't have, I don't feel
(58:47):
like I have the answers.
I guess I just listen.
You know, I listen and I try tobe encouraging because, uh,
that's all I know you know, butit's, it's a heavy burden.
Speaker 4 (59:00):
Half time that's half the battle.
Speaker 5 (59:01):
People just need somebody to listen to them you
know, and I, and I think thefeedback that I've got was I was
clearly not a trained actortelling a story, um, but I think
people can relate to that withyou like I know, you I know,
like we're real like we're notyeah we're from Preble County,
(59:23):
ohio, like not Hollywood, yeahlike there's no acting.
This is who we are.
This is who you've been, thiswho I've been've been.
Speaker 1 (59:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (59:33):
And yeah, I mean and we truly are here to help.
Like, like you said, this isnot an act.
I mean, this is who I am, thisis who you know.
Us three men, we want to helppeople, right?
Uh, there's nothing to gainhere.
This costs me money to put thisout, right, I'm okay with it.
(59:53):
I'm okay with continuing to doit because I think there's a big
need for it, and whether thatneed is just our little area,
I'm okay with it.
If it becomes more than that,I'm okay with it, because it's
not my plan.
Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Absolutely.
It's God's plan.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
For whatever reason, we're here because this is where
he wants me to be.
I still, every day, give mesome direction.
Well, you know where's thisgoing, but I'm grateful for sure
, and I'm grateful for you, menbecause, you know, we all go
through a lot and and we needimportant men and women in our
(01:00:32):
lives, you know, to help us.
Speaker 4 (01:00:34):
So and the authenticity is where it's at.
I mean, we talked about thereel that we posted about your
you know, can't fake it.
Yeah, the divorce, but that waswhat if you actually go in
there.
I know you didn't know that alot of people were the reason
why that there's so many views,because how many people are
commenting on it?
and one of the big things is, Imean, I've been where, like I've
been where you're at, I amwhere you're at, like all these,
(01:00:54):
you know, and these are menthat probably don't have anybody
talk to.
They go on social mediathinking, you know, nobody else
is looking at this.
I can be real on it and there'ssome people that put like a lot
of thought and comments onthere and it's almost like those
people don't have somebody totalk to.
But they heard you in, likeyour story, and they just put
out there what they're feelingabout, what they're going
through or what they've beenthrough.
(01:01:15):
And I mean I read some of thecomments and just like, man,
yeah, you can see the, the needthere and uh, the authenticity
and and real is where people Ifeel like get their therapeutic
need that maybe us men strugglewith and I know I said something
about how men suppress theirfeelings we should right let
Right, Let me.
Speaker 5 (01:01:35):
Let me.
Let me explain that comment,though.
We should never vomit onto ourwives, girlfriends or anything
like that.
Group of men?
Absolutely, but you cannot, yougotta.
You can't go out and I.
That's a mistake I made.
Um, and I know if we text eachother about that, but when I
(01:01:55):
hated my job, I'd come home andlet everybody know about it and
that was wrong, 100% wrong,because you have no clue what
the other person is thinking.
Oh, he says he hates his job,he's going to quit this, that
and the other, and the burdenthat it puts on her shoulders or
your significant other'sshoulders is great, and I didn't
even know I was doing that.
So when I say, suppress ourfeelings, like there's some of
(01:02:20):
that stuff you have to, that's apart of being a man.
Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Right.
Speaker 5 (01:02:24):
But when you get other men around like, it's okay
because we're men, but youcannot put that on your family
and your significant other.
Speaker 4 (01:02:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:02:33):
Because that's a huge burden, huge burden that they
don't need to.
Men should struggle, likethat's a part of being a man.
Um, but if you're excited aboutthat, like the struggle, like
once you know it, you just startlaughing when you struggle yeah
and you can just get through it.
You can just get through it,you can just get through it,
(01:02:54):
because it's only 10 more feet,right, you know this is going on
a little bit here, but I likeit.
Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
Um, so I'm in the.
I'm in the middle of phase oneof the live hard program, which
is the second step after 75 hard, and the most difficult thing
is I have to take a five minutecold shower.
I thought it was going to be thefasting, the fasting has been
very difficult, but that's, thatwas my doing.
But I heard Goggins saysomething on a podcast or on an
(01:03:25):
Instagram reel or somethingabout pain.
And they ask him you know why?
How do you just embrace pain?
And he says it's tells me I'malive.
So when I'm in the shower and Itell siri hey, set my timer for
five minutes, I'm standingthere.
Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
I'm like dude I feel the pain, I'm alive, you know.
But man, oh man, is it cold.
Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
So yeah, that's part of suppressing those, that's
hilarious, so I too startedtaking cold.
Speaker 5 (01:03:54):
I'm not as consistent as I need to be.
Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:03:57):
But I got an, my son got an ice bath.
Oh, yeah, we filled it up andthen it froze.
But so when you're in there,when you're in that shower and
it's running down your back andyou're literally freezing about
30 to 40 seconds into it, I juststart laughing because I know
(01:04:21):
like, yeah, I just know thatI'll make it through it and it
sucks but that's funny.
You say that because at aboutthe 30 to 45 seconds is when you
start getting a little bitcomfortable and you're just like
because I close my eyes and Ijust try to go to a different
spot yeah, and you know, pretendI'm at a beach or something
(01:04:45):
very cold beach, yeah but whatI'm saying is, if you embrace it
, it's actually easier they sayembrace the suck, that's right?
yeah, easier said than done, butvery easy, yeah, I try uh, I'm
gonna start doing, I'm gonnamake a prediction right here.
I'm gonna start doing a coldplunge for three minutes once it
(01:05:05):
freezes out.
Like hold me accountable tothat, okay all right I'll send
it to global media.
Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
Now, sean, I won't tell you this in the summer.
I do it for 11 minutes, 11.
Speaker 5 (01:05:18):
That's unhealthy Go 15.
How cold is the?
Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
water.
Uh 58 is what I can get it to.
Yeah, Out of the well, I put itin the garage.
It's an old cattle trough.
I didn't buy this you do 11minutes in a cold plunge.
Yeah, yeah, 11 minutes.
Like I'll go run.
I mean it'd be hot outside butI'll go.
I'll go run for 45 minutes.
I'm drenched in sweat and I getin that thing and yeah, 11
(01:05:45):
minutes.
Set the timer and once you getpast, uh, I think the numbness
sets in like at a minute 30, two, two minutes and then you're
pretty good.
But getting down into itespecially once you get like
right to that spot on thebackside of your neck and your
your spine.
Yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 4 (01:06:03):
Just got a cannonball .
If all you want to do is threeSean.
Speaker 5 (01:06:07):
I heard that's all.
They recommend is three calledhypothermia.
Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
Hey, embrace the suck .
I want to keep my toes Allright.
We've probably lost all kindsof people here, but that's okay
I'm.
I'm good with it.
Man, great conversation.
Thanks for telling you knowmore of your story and, um, one
thing I want to tell people iswe, we always appreciate you
listening, watching on YouTube,all those things.
(01:06:33):
We always appreciate youlistening, watching on YouTube,
all those things.
What we've learned is thealgorithms like it when you
share, when you comment thesubscriptions, the likes, all
those things.
But if you can comment, make acomment, whether it's hey,
episode sucks or hey, this isgreat.
Give us some comments, keepsharing.
That's what's important, tocontinue to get this message out
(01:06:55):
there.
But we appreciate your support,sean, always appreciate you.
Excited to see where this allgoes for everybody sitting at
this table and for those thatwill be impacted.
Go out and be tempered.
Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Cajun's Glass.
Thanks, Allie Thingsie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns.
Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
Catron's Glass.
Thanks Allie.
Things like doors and windowsgo into making a house, but when
it's your home, you expect morelike the great service and
selection you'll get fromCatron's Glass.
Final replacement windows fromCatron's come with a lifetime
warranty, including accidentalglass breakage replacement.
Also ask for custom showerdoors and many other products
and services.
Call 962-1636.
Locally owned, with localemployees for nearly 30 years.
Speaker 1 (01:07:37):
Kitchens Plus the clear choice.
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Catron's Glass.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Thanks, allie.
Things like doors and windowsgo into making a house, but when
it's your home you expect morelike the great service and
selection you'll get fromCatron's Glass Final replacement
.
Windows from Catron's come witha lifetime warranty, including
accidental glass breakagereplacement.
Also ask for custom showerdoors and many other products
and services.
Call 962-1636.
Locally owned, with localemployees for nearly 30 years.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Kitchen's best.
The clear choice.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we
explore the art of findingbalance in a chaotic world.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Join us as we delve into insightful conversations,
practical tips and inspiringstories to help you navigate
life's ups and downs with graceand resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
We're your hosts, Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr.
Let's embark on a journey tolive our best lives.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
This is Be Tempered.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
What's up everybody?
Welcome to the Be Temperedpodcast, episode number 41.
How you doing, ben?
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Very good, how about yourself?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I'm doing good.
I'm doing good, I'm doing good.
We've got, uh, a returningpodcaster with us today, my good
friend, mr sean rubush.
Sean, welcome to the betempered podcast.
Hello, thank you again, againagain, welcome back sean, what
16 weeks ago?
yeah, yeah I mean we're hard upfor people.
(01:21):
So, yeah, I mean we're hard upfor people.
Well, I appreciate you havingme back.
No, we obviously, after werecorded episode 24, which, if
you haven't heard, sean'sepisode number 24, it is
powerful and we got done.
And you said, man, there's somuch we didn't talk about and I
(01:42):
was like, yeah, there is Well,guess what we can do another one
.
And I was like, yeah, there isWell, guess what we can do
another one.
And so that's why we're heretoday.
And, um, sean, for those whohaven't heard your story, um, I
encourage you to go back andlisten to some of those key and
pivotal moments of of yourchildhood and and then into your
adulthood.
But there's, there's more tothis story.
(02:03):
Like I said, that we didn't getto before.
And, um, you know, beyond theloss of your dad, the fire with
losing your grandfather and allthe emotional struggles of your
childhood trauma, everythingthat you've been through there's
more to come.
But I want to ask you somethingfrom that episode what kind of
(02:27):
response did you get personallyfrom people?
Speaker 5 (02:32):
The only word I can think of is overwhelming.
You predicted it.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
You told me exactly what was going to happen and it
happened.
I got about a handful, maybetwo handfuls of phone calls and
those were the comments and allthat stuff was very impactful.
But to get a phone call frompeople that you don't expect to
get, a phone call from um, andthen some of them that you're
(02:59):
really close to, and uh, it wasoverwhelming.
Man, I mean I I remembertalking to the baseball coach at
Trail man and he's my neighbornow and the love he showed me
that day was incredible man, andhe knows what I'm talking about
and he called me and we bothgot emotional.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
It was awesome and I.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
I, the people that I didn't even know, like I
remember reading the comments,like I've waited over 30 years
to hear that and I'm like what,why?
Yeah, so it was overwhelming.
And it still continues to kindof like filter in, as you do,
(03:45):
the little shorts and the reelsand all that stuff.
So I mean it's beenoverwhelming, it's been good and
you were correct.
Again, a lot of people havecome up to me at basketball
games events that would neversay hi to me and has said hey,
thank you Like being vulnerabledoing this and just I appreciate
(04:08):
it and it helped me so much.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Well, I think it's a, it's a testament to kind of why
we do.
What we do with this podcast isis you know I?
I knew your story, not not thedepths of it.
Uh, and a lot of the peoplethat we have come on here, we
know the stories, most of them,but every single person has a
story right and a lot of peoplehold it inside, like you did for
(04:33):
for 30, 40 years, and talkabout what it was like, not the
responses, but what was it likefor you, just to let it all out
here's the thing I've let it allout thousands of times in my my
(04:53):
own mind, just not to otherpeople.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
Um, and that's how maybe that's coping mechanism
that I got through it all youknow.
Um, you know, I've told thecounselor that I talked about
you know, she kind of brieflygot the short version of it, but
I mean, I I think what hashappened that's been more
impactful is, now that I'vetalked about it, more people are
(05:18):
willing to approach me about it.
Um, yeah I, I and I'm okay withthat.
That that's fine.
I have zero problem with that.
I think that's probably themost impactful thing that's
happened from.
It is um, people can see mypassion on the football field,
but they have no clue where itcame from.
Now they have exactly they knowexactly what, where it came
(05:43):
from, that type of thing.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Yeah, but like we said before, there's more to
this story, and there there'ssome other pivotal things that
had happened in your life, and Idon't know which came first,
but there were.
There were a couple of thingswe wanted to talk about, one of
them being alcohol and the otherone being the car accidents you
were involved in, and maybethose two are related and maybe
they're not.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
But talk about those two things in the kind of order
as they went okay, um, so I, I,I when I didn't drink a lot, but
, boy, when I drank I surely diddrink the drink.
There was no stopping me.
I don't care who you were, ifonce I got that feeling in me
(06:29):
like it was going to be a longnight for other people too, and
it happened.
So, like I said, I didn't drinkevery night, I would never have
considered myself an alcoholicback then.
But I really got lucky.
I was with one of my goodbuddies and we were at a party
(06:50):
in New Paris and we weredrinking left, didn't get in the
car yet, but we were walkingdown the streets of New Paris
and the cops saw us, flash hislights and we ran through a
creek, kind of got away from himand everything like that.
Um, but then we made a stupiddecision later to get into a car
(07:10):
and I went to.
We went to his house but hisfather was mad we were drinking
this, that and the other thing.
So we we leave and head to mygrandma's house in new hope.
Well, my buddy at the time andhe knows who it is when he hears
this, because this is a funnyit's funny now.
(07:30):
But we stopped over at NationalTrail High School because he
had to go to the bathroom.
And we pull into the footballfield and I turn my car off and,
sure enough, here comes a cop,flashed his lights and sat there
.
So I got arrested for underagedrinking and so did my buddy
(07:51):
that was with me.
So I was lucky, got very luckythat I didn't have my car on and
didn't get caught that way.
But the crazy thing is thatthat didn't even faze me one bit
.
Went to jail, didn't spend verymuch time in jail, like maybe
six hours, and just later.
(08:14):
You know I think that was about19 years old.
And then, when I was 21, got ajob at my first real job, at
Finish Line well, second job butwent to a buddy's bachelor
party and just worked late, gotthere late and in your mind you
(08:37):
had to catch up, got to catch upand, uh, they take your.
They took your keys.
They did everything right.
They just didn't know theextent of how stupid and crazy I
was, so got hammered, drunk andfound my keys, got in my car
and headed down 40, doing about85, hit a low guardrail that
(09:00):
goes up and flew about 200 feetinto a corn cornfield, rolled it
who knows how many times andsat then that was at like four
in the morning and I didn't getfound till 7, 38 o'clock in the
morning and I sat in thatcornfield all for about four
hours.
Uh, cuts everywhere.
I am so when I say I think I'vehad an angel that's watched
(09:26):
over me because I should havebeen dead and it's hard to even
think about and comprehend thatyou sit in a car that you just
wrecked for over three, fourhours.
But that's what happened andthe doctor?
I went to Miami Valley Hospitalin Dayton and he says you're
probably lucky, you were drunkbecause you're kind of flimsy
(09:50):
and if you would have been tenseyou would have broken way more
bones.
But I shattered my right arm.
I got the scars right here.
I got two steel plates, 13screws.
I don't have the full functionon my right arm.
I hide it really well.
Most people never even noticeit.
And I broke my left, uh, lefttibula.
Um, yeah, so that was theaccident and um, like I said, it
(10:16):
wasn't that, it was just mebeing stupid.
Do you remember sitting in?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
the car?
No, you don't remember, I don'teven remember I barely.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
I don't even remember much of the party okay I, I
drunk I was that hammered.
I remember wake.
Here's the first part that Iremember.
I remember paramedics somewhatpulling me out and I remember
who the paramedic was, um, andit was someone I knew and she
was like like oh my God.
I remember hearing that.
(10:44):
And then I just remember wakingup in the hallway of Miami
Valley Hospital and in a hallwaywith just what seemed like
hundreds of people because theywere so busy.
So they sent me to Greenvillebut Greenville couldn't deal
with my injuries that I had, sothey transported me to Miami
(11:05):
Valley and I just rememberlaying in the hallway sleeping
and then all of a sudden I wakeup and my best friend and my
girlfriend at the time was rightthere and I was like hey, and
they didn't even know who I was.
They didn't even see me.
There were so many people there, wow.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
So I had surgery on my right arm to get everything
fixed and yeah, I remember I wasat UD then and I remember
coming to the hospital andseeing you, um, you know, I
think it was after the surgeries, but it was.
It was pretty, pretty closeafter it had happened and, um,
(11:45):
that was tough.
It was tough for me to see youlike that because you know,
you're this man of steel, youknow in my mind and to know what
you had been through and and toknow kind of where you were at,
as far as not know where you'reat mentally, but you know, knew
what the cause was, but didthat stop you from drinking?
Nope.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Not even that.
So, and again, I think, as lifeprogresses, if you, I think the
creator creates your life for areason and when you don't live
the life you're expected to live, things happen, things happen.
The life you're expected tolive, things like things happen,
things happen.
(12:28):
And you know, I mean I canmaybe.
I stopped for six months, but Icontinued to drink.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I was smarter, I didn't drive but I still drank.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
I still I wouldn't say I struggled with the urge of
drinking alcohol, cause I'venever done that.
Um, never, ever, ever have Iever gotten home and just wanted
to crack open a beer likethat's just not me.
Um, in my head I'm like I'llhave more fun if I drink um,
which is not the truth.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
And then, once you got the taste, then it was once
you get, yeah once you get, onceI get that little bit of buzz.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I was the guy that just you wouldn't stop me.
So no, I mean, I remember manya times getting blackout, drunk
and having kids.
You know.
You know I had Chase Hunter.
(13:24):
So one very impactful story Ican tell you about me drinking
and how stupid I was is when Iworked for finish line we would
always do these shakedowns.
What a shakedown is is where amanager either got got fired or
quit and the store was tore up,ran down to where a new manager
would come in.
All the managers in thedistrict would go to that store,
(13:45):
clean it up, give that newmanager a fresh start to where
he wasn't always fighting frombehind.
So those were called shakedowns.
We did a shakedown inBloomington, indiana and Hunter
wasn't born yet.
He was about six months baking,maybe six, seven months baking.
And this was before cell phonestoo.
(14:06):
So I had a flip phone.
I remember having a flip phone.
So we went to the Shakedown at8 o'clock in the morning in
Bloomington, indiana.
So I get up early in themorning, drive to Bloomington,
we work until about 7 or 8o'clock at night.
We went to the Crazy Horse inBloomington, indiana, which is
their main bar, and work all day.
Don't eat, get there, eat andjust start drinking.
(14:28):
And I didn't check into thehotel beforehand.
Some of them did.
Some of them didn't, but Idrove to the bar and, long story
short, I ended up 25 milessouth of Bloomington, indiana.
I have no clue how I got there.
I was in a gas station and Iwas sleeping in my car and I got
(14:51):
a knock on the window and Ilook up and there was a lady,
was like, and I roll my windowdown and she's like are you okay
?
And I said yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
I'm fine.
Speaker 5 (15:03):
And then I gather myself and I'm fine, and and
then I gather myself and I'mlike where?
the hell am?
I had no clue where I was.
It's not like I can get on mycell phone.
This was back in the days, likeI said, I had a flip phone.
So I gather myself a little bitand I'm still you know how it
is.
And when you're hung over, Iget up, walk into the gas
(15:27):
station.
I'm like where am I at?
And she tells me.
She tells me, and I was like sohow far away is that from
Bloomington?
She goes you're about 25 milessouth on the interstate.
So that was about 6.30ish inthe morning and I had to be back
at that store at 8 o'clock inthe morning.
So I start driving and I getthere about 7.15ish my phone's
(15:50):
about to die.
Phone dies as I'm waiting and Igot to make a decision.
I got to make a decisionwhether either I go in like I
didn't know how my boss wasgoing to react I didn't take a
shower still probably smell likealcohol smell like alcohol.
I wasn't going to work there forthe next eight hours smelling
(16:13):
like that right didn't checkinto the hotel, so I make a
decision with a dead phone todrive three and a half hours
home, about 7 30 in the morning.
All right, so that's about athree and a half four hour drive
, no phone.
We're supposed to be there ateight.
I'm not there at eight.
I'm not there at 8 30 I'm notthere at nine you can't get a
(16:36):
hold of me.
So the district manager callsthe hospitals, calls the jails,
nothing.
So then he calls my wife at thetime, sends a panic in her,
which it any it would anybodysure.
So so I don't make it home till11, 11, 30, charge my phone and
(16:58):
I call jamie and let her knowlike that's the type of asshole
that alcohol and that shit doesto people and that and I was
that guy.
So that put that, definitelyput the brakes on the drinking a
little bit, but it still didn'tstop you, still didn't stop me.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Man, what stopped you ?
The divorce?
Speaker 5 (17:21):
that's what stopped you two things the divorce.
That's what stopped you twothings the divorce.
Because she was afraid of mewhen I was drinking, yeah, and
it why I mean in my mind,there's no reason to be afraid
of me.
But right she was yeah so thathurt.
(17:46):
And then I got into a men'sgroup with some other really
good men and we always talkingabout generational curses and
the first one that comes into myhead from my from my dad
drinking I see I don't even likeit's gonna stop with me yeah
(18:08):
period.
My kids are gonna not blame mefor the generational curse of
alcoholism in our family, and Isome.
So I stopped.
For about six years afterdivorce I didn't drink at all.
(18:30):
Then one time, like one time, Iwas like, okay, I'm going to go
to this party, I'm going tohave fun.
And I got drunk again.
And never again.
I'll never, ever drink alcoholever again in my life.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah, and now I drank a beer in Florida last year
because we're playing spike balland it was hotter than hades
and but you said you didn't feellike you had to get drunk.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
No, I just drank it, threw it in the trash and just
to clench the thirst and I nevereven thought about it.
It was either that or a caprisun from, and I didn't want to
steal a capri sun from all thekids but the big thing is
degenerational curses um, andalcoholism is in this family and
it's not no more yeah, that'spretty awesome.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
It's crazy to think, though, that it took you 40 44
years.
Yeah, I mean from the time youwere, you know, 17, 18 until
again worse yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
And that's why the divorce is okay.
Yeah, and um, I know I getemotional about that, but I get
emotional about what it's goingto do for my kids.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Right yeah, Because that's what's for my kids.
Right yeah, because that'swhat's important.
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
And I know we talk about it all the time.
But it's hard to break thosecurses when your kids are going
to try to be just exactly likeyou, exactly like you've been
exactly like me, and if youdon't set that example that
you're setting, it doesn'tmatter what you say, it's what
(20:11):
you do, it's how you act and Imade a decision.
And if they drink and theybecome alcoholics, it's on them.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
It's not because of you.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
It's not because of me and that generational curse
and that family anymore.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Man, that's dude.
I don't know how you keepcoming up with all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
It's life.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
I know it is but you know it's just so impactful.
And there's something elsethat's impactful, you know, when
we go back to your story fromthe first episode and you talk
about your childhood, growing up, and talk about your dad, you
know there was a piece of thatpuzzle we didn't get to and that
was your mom.
Talk a little bit about that.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
So when I was young, growing up, all I knew was life
with my dad.
Was young, growing up, uh, allI knew was life with my dad, um,
my mom was never a part of itand I never knew why, um, never
knew why, um.
And then you know, I had astepmom, stepbrothers, um, but
then when my dad and my stepmomgot a divorce, and then you know
(21:23):
, my dad, what happened.
When my dad happened.
There was a brief custodybattle with my real mom and my
grandmother and I don't know alot of the details I was only 10
but I do remember the judgepulling me and my brother into
his chambers and, you know,talking to us a little bit but
but I remember him asking uslike who do you want to live
with?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And I said my grandma like.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
I didn't know my real mom right.
Uh knew nothing ever.
I knew my grandmother, I knewthat was security to me.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Right.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
So we went to live with them, uh, with my grandma
and grandpa, um.
But there's this whole otherside of the family on the other
side that are great people thatI never got to meet, um so fast
forwarding a long time.
Um, they have tried to contactmy grandmother for years.
(22:20):
Um, they, she just mygrandmother.
Remember how?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
how protective, she was.
Speaker 5 (22:25):
Oh, yeah, okay well, this is one of the, in my
opinion, the dark side of it.
Um, because I have two great,unbelievable aunts that I've
never met until six years ago,and I'll talk about that in a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Yeah, but they're great people, um but grandma
protected you from them becauseshe was afraid she was afraid of
my mom.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Yes, yeah so, and I may be off base and I surely
don't want to, you know, angeranybody, but I, from what I've
heard, my mother was a drugaddict and I don't, I don't
fault my grandmother for doingthat with what we've been
(23:09):
through with, what we just wentthrough with the dad, I
understand all of it.
But when I was 18, when I'mbecoming a young man, that's
where I find a fault.
You can tell me about them andyou can let me make that
decision.
And you know what?
I never sought out to find mymom, but one of my aunts was
(23:35):
really persistent uh, vicky.
She would message me onFacebook almost every year, once
a year, and I ignored.
I ignored her for a long time.
Why did you ignore?
It's a good question.
I have no clue.
Maybe because I didn't want toopen.
I didn't want to open that door.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Yeah, Because it was just one other thing.
One other thing.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Like like look man, we shove our men as men, we
shove our feelings deep down andnot to know my mom and not why.
My mom didn't want to be a partof my life.
I didn't want to deal with that.
Opening that door to thatconversation Maybe open those
feelings, and I didn't want, Iwasn't ready to do that, yeah,
(24:29):
yeah.
So so after the divorce, or aswe're, going through the
separation.
I uh, she messaged me and Iresponded and I'm pretty sure
she had to go change her pantsafter sorry vicky.
She's been trying for 40 years.
She's been trying for a longtime, yes, and I finally
responded.
And she lives in Hawaii,beautiful house, great human
(24:56):
being she's been.
She's been nothing but great tomy kids yeah nothing but great.
Every year she sends them waymore than they need, and my kids
have grown accustomed to thatduring christmas and it's.
(25:17):
It's important, yeah, so so thehiding of it.
That's where I got superfrustrated, even in these later
years.
I'm like why?
Why didn't she just tell methat at least my aunts were?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
good people.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Yeah, so, and Gwen lives in Eaton came to all the
Chases, like came to a ton ofChases.
Events once we met hadthanksgiving, all that stuff,
man.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
So you can see how yeah, things happen for a reason
.
Did you ever meet your mom?
No, never did and she's not nothere anymore no, she.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
So when I first got in contact with Vicki, my mom,
my mother was still alive and Iwasn't.
I was hesitant at first.
Because of this, because in andshe came out and told me yes,
everything like that is true.
(26:25):
But she loves you, so never mether.
I had the opportunity to meether but never did and she passed
away before I could meet her.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Did your aunts, did they talk about your mom in any
way where where they could giveyou any insight to how she felt
about you?
Speaker 5 (26:54):
yeah, they, I mean I gotta meet my great my I gotta
meet my other grandma met herokay, um, but yes, they.
They tell me how much that sheloved us and missed us and how
much, how many times shecontacted and tried to get in
touch.
Um, but ultimately, she lived ahard life, um very hard life.
(27:18):
She probably makes mine look alittle, you know not so hard
yeah.
Um, from what I've heard, right.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Right, but from all that you've got some ants I do.
Yeah, wonderful people.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Which is great.
You know things happen for areason and we don't know that
reason, but you know there's areason that that happened now,
you know, or happened six yearsago, um, and, and you know, we
didn't spend a whole lot of timeon granny.
Speaker 5 (27:45):
No, we didn't but.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
I'd like to talk about granny, because I have
lots of memories of granny and,um, I know she's she's no longer
with us, um, but but let's talka little bit about granny,
because you know when I, when Ithink back to you, know when we
were kids and and wheneverything happened with the
fire, and you know I canremember and my mom has probably
(28:12):
told you the story.
I think you were coming over tospend the night one night when
we were kids and granny calledmy mom and she said now I want
to make sure that Shawnee's notgoing to be drinking my mom's
like no, granny, we don't, wedon't drink, we're good,
everything will be fine, we'lltake care of them.
So she was super protective fora reason, right, and, like you
(28:33):
said, maybe in some cases to afault.
But if you know your story andyou know what she went through
and what she lost, you know shewas not going to lose you boys,
right?
So talk about her a little bit.
Speaker 5 (28:49):
She was 4'9", about 110 pounds.
But when you angered her shewas 7' tall, 250, middle
linebacker for the Bears.
Yeah, she was a spitfire.
The bears, yeah, um, she was aspitfire.
(29:09):
She was um, I I don't like shewas.
She was the person that would.
She wouldn't be okay unlesseverybody in that room was okay.
Like she wanted, she would cookclean she'll.
She was a caregiver.
She was a caregiver.
She was 100% just a caregiver.
She felt at her best, I think,when she was helping people and
(29:32):
or waiting on them I guessthat's a terrible word to say,
but like just helping people,cooking, being the wife and
being the mom and thegrandparent and just providing.
Like that's where she was, andif you got even remotely on her
bad side because of us boys, youwere going to hear about it.
(29:56):
Yes, she wasn't afraid to tellyour opinion and my brother got
in a lot of trouble and it wasalways the school's fault.
Yeah, always, even when I didbad things, well, they probably
deserved it.
Um, even when my brother gotarrested, it's probably probably
their fault.
Stupid, stupid cops shouldn'thave arrested him.
(30:18):
He didn't do anything wrong.
Like that's the stuff that,looking back, i'm'm just like no
, and that's why fathers andmothers are important in the
household.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
To give that balance, because I think the discipline,
a lot of that, comes fromfathers and we didn't have that.
So she was also very I'vealready said this but she was
the best cook, and I mean thatwe very rarely ate out.
She was also very I've alreadysaid this but she was the best
cook, and I mean that we veryrarely ate out always was eating
(30:57):
home meals, home cooked meals Imean, that's where she was at
her best and she also taught usto fight Like she.
So when our house burnt down, wehad all kinds of different
things we could do.
We lived in an apartment overhere on 40, tiny apartment.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
I remember, yeah, tiny, close to Petro, one
bedroom.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
Yeah, Close to Petro down the hill.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (31:21):
But we lived there for a year while she rebuilt,
because that's what she wanted.
She's like that's my, that'swhere we live.
So we rebuilt and, um, you know, moved back to that property
where the house fire happened.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
How was that?
Did that have any effect on youas a kid, going back to that
same spot that you, where yousaw the house burn and you lost
your grandfather?
I mean, did that affect you inany way?
Speaker 5 (31:47):
I've never even thought about it until right now
.
Um, I think we were moreexcited yeah, to get back.
You know, I had a best friendnext door uh, I was probably 11
at the time um, she put a bigconcrete pad in the back, played
basketball back there.
So at the time though I'venever even really thought about
it um, a big concrete pad in theback, played basketball back
(32:08):
there.
So at the time, no, I've nevereven really thought about it,
but I had fun at that apartmentbecause there was a huge woods
behind it.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:22):
And I just go running through it all day, playing
huge lake in the back.
So I think, but it was a tinyapartment.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
You're on top of people, yeah, so I think it was
probably relief to get back.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Right, and you could be a kid.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
So we've had some conversations and you know I
hear people talk about ondifferent podcasts, about don't
be afraid to bet on yourself.
That's came up in your life acouple of times.
Talk about betting on yourself.
Speaker 5 (32:54):
So I told a story about you know, plan B and the
last time and all that andpeople putting doubt in your
mind.
So two quick stories.
When I worked for loves that,if you guys all remember, I said
(33:14):
you earned your pay, um, andthey did they.
They would even tell you if you, if you got, if you get 60 of
the stuff that we tell you to dodone, you're doing a good job.
They would tell you that theywould come in doing inspections.
A, b, c, d, f.
You would automatically startwith a, b.
(33:34):
They don't give, as that's thetype of company you're working
for.
I'm not bashing the old companyat all.
I was very appreciative, metsome great people, that type of
thing, um, but this was afterthe, the separation and divorce.
I just remember my DM justneedling, needling, needling,
(33:58):
and I was like, well, we'regoing to have to start
terminating people if they can'tget this done.
Like that was their comment.
They would, instead of tryingto motivate you, they would.
They would do it through fear,verton, instead of inspire you,
they would do it through fear.
And you can motivate peoplethrough fear, but it's a
short-term right turnaround.
If you try to challenge them,inspire them to be better people
(34:20):
, to move up in a company, thattype of thing, you get way
better results.
Um, but I remember just he cutlike my boss came on a visit and
just nitpicky as could be andhe said that term again.
He said it like two times.
(34:40):
Well, we're gonna have to startterminating people for it.
And I was like why do youthreaten?
Speaker 1 (34:46):
people like that.
Speaker 5 (34:47):
Well, you know you got to get the job done, if not,
we're going to startterminating people.
I go, do me a favor and fire meright now.
Do me a favor.
You can't find anybody to runthe store better than I can.
And just instantly, a switchjust changed in my brain.
I said fire me.
I dare you Because I know whatI brought to the table.
(35:11):
It took me a long time tounderstand that, a long time.
And then when you startthinking like that, like you
know what.
I got this, this is I got this,and I don't need you.
I didn't need my boss, I didn'tneed need him I needed the
people around me, right, but Ialready had the respect of the
(35:32):
people that I worked with.
But I finally stood up formyself and I finally told him
that and that gave me theconfidence to walk away from
that job.
About six months later, I wasdone and I made a lot of money.
Yeah, to walk away from thatjob.
About six months later, I wasdone.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
And.
Speaker 5 (35:51):
I made a lot of money and it's the best decision I've
ever made.
It's one of the best decisionsI've ever made.
And was it scary?
Sure, just like when you boughtCajun's Glass.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
I couldn't imagine.
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (36:06):
But yeah, it was scary stepping away from that.
But at that point so manyemotions come to you when you're
just fed up with, you know howyour life's going, especially
when there's leadership likethat yeah, yeah and um, yeah and
um it it was at the time, whichis crazy, like going through
(36:30):
the divorce, going through theseparation just got done through
counseling, like my mind'sstarting to shift and not
drinking anymore, that type ofthing, and I walked away from
that job.
I walked away from that career.
I walked away from that career.
Yeah, that takes a lot.
I had no clue what I was goingto do either.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
You just knew that.
Speaker 5 (36:54):
Hey, I had an ideal that maybe I like at the time I
was in AdvoCare doing that, butI knew that wasn't going to be
my main source of income, Right?
Speaker 3 (37:05):
So so you?
So let's say, there's kids outthere, adults out there
listening, and they have thosefeelings that you had, but maybe
they don't have the confidence.
What do you tell them?
What's your advice to someonewho's who's got a boss like that
, who's you know?
Just constant negativity, justwearing them out Every time the
(37:28):
boss comes in.
They're on pins and needlesbecause they know something's
coming, but they know they'redoing what they're supposed to
be doing, but they're ready totake that next step.
They're just afraid to take thestep.
Um jump, have faith.
Speaker 5 (37:40):
If and I've said this the last time if you're not
happy, that's on you and that'sthat mindset that that I set
(38:02):
that I had, like I here's whatit really came down to and this
is the advice I had to givepeople.
I knew what my next 10 yearswas going to look like working
in retail.
I knew it.
I can walk that out.
I didn't want that, okay.
(38:24):
So what are you going to doabout it?
I took the plunge because itwouldn't have pushed me as hard
in what I was doing if I wasstill working here because you
had the comfort of the job whenyou have the comfort of the job.
You're not.
I don't think you're going topush yourself to be the best you
(38:47):
can be, but when you take thatfaith, when you take that step
of faith, yeah there's nolooking back, yeah and you.
You have to get it done on yourown.
And and again that comes backto taking responsibility for
your own life and your ownhappiness and your own choices.
When you do that, the mindsetyou know what.
(39:10):
I don't need them.
They need me more than.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
I need them yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
And they did and that's the mindset that from
that point on, that I did andthat I lived and I never, I've
never started.
I stopped thinking about money.
Also, you got to.
I tell my kids find what youenjoy, find what you're
(39:37):
passionate about and go afterthat.
Money will come.
If you chase money, you makestupid decisions, like I did,
and get into a job thatultimately gets you divorced.
Hating your life not a badfather coming home hating life,
drinking Just spirals out ofcontrol.
(39:58):
Smart man told me men hide inthree things women, alcohol and
their job.
And I had enough of it, man,and I stepped away.
And I just stepped away, man.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Took that leap of faith.
Yeah, man, oh man, sean, you'refreaking awesome you are.
And you know, I, as you'retalking, I, I we've had many
people on here, ben when theyget their backs up against the
wall, that's when it, you know,that's when you really shine
right.
When your backs up against thewall and you got nowhere else to
(40:37):
go but forward, right, that'swhen you see the kind of person
that you are and that's whereyou're at and you took that step
and it was like I'm done withthis.
I mean that's, that's awesome.
(40:57):
So what I want to get to next,um, you know from the podcast
that we did originally, where weare today, you, you've had a
big mind shift and I've kind ofpushed you in a couple of
directions and you kind ofpushed me in a couple of
directions, and you kind of pushme in a couple of directions,
and we've got a lot of things inour minds of of where all of
this can go.
But there's one thing that youstarted doing a couple of weeks
(41:19):
ago, maybe, to get your story onpaper.
Speaker 5 (41:25):
Talk about that.
If anybody knows me, they knowmy English skills is an F minus,
so I think it came on.
The ideal has always been in myhead.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
but then, when you had Jason Koger on here, and he
talks about his book and this,that and the other thing.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
And I got this bully of a friend.
The ideal was always in my head.
But I have started writing abook.
You want to talk about bringingup emotions.
I don't type very fast, so Iuse Siri to put it in there and
(42:12):
then I use some AI to help meclean it up.
And then when I go back andreread it tough, very tough it's
I almost don't do it Like Ithink I'm five chapters into it
(42:33):
and I've probably got moreemotional reading what AI says
about me after I tell it what.
I tell it what.
Here's what happened Right.
And then I got to tell, like Iknow Kevin said some things.
I got to tell it not to usewords happened right.
And then I gotta tell, like Iknow kevin said some things.
I gotta tell it not to use wordsthat I would never use like
(42:53):
gently flowing creek, likeyou'll never say that awesome
creek that you can jump and playin or something like that, like
so, but rereading it back likeit, it's not easy for me to do,
and it's.
If you'd have told me that I'mtrying to write a book and I
don't, I I'd have literally saidyou're an idiot.
(43:15):
Why it's uncomfortable, 100uncomfortable.
Anybody that reads my email atwork, they know that I cannot
write a book, so it's justuncomfortable.
But again, who puts thoughts inyour mind?
(43:39):
Who Do you think?
do I think of them, or are theyplanted there?
I don't know, but that's beenin my mind.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
You, it's been in your mind, oh yeah it's been in
my mind for a lot of years.
We've just never.
We've just never had thatconnection to actually talk
about it.
And, for whatever reason youknow, we started a podcast which
, and still, is veryuncomfortable for me.
I mean, believe it or not, thisis uncomfortable.
(44:11):
I mean I'm putting myself outthere.
You know Ben's putting himselfout there and we've got no
problem talking to people.
But when you do it in a settinglike this, every week, having
conversations, I mean you'rereally opening the door to the
kind of person that you are andthe life that you live and your
(44:32):
thoughts and your feelings andall these things.
It's tough, but I love it, it'sworth it.
Speaker 5 (44:38):
Yeah, it's worth it, anything worth doing.
It's not going to be easy,that's right, and I bet you were
very uncomfortable a few timeslast week with Kim on here.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
Yeah, no, I was excited for her.
That was I've been pushing her.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
I saw you squirm over there a few times You're making
me squirm right now I know thatwas the best part of the
podcast, but Kim did great.
Speaker 3 (45:01):
Yeah, she did Um, but you're right, you know, did
great.
Yeah, she did Um, but you'reright.
You know, I keep leaning on thefact that there are people out
there, because we get messagesdaily from people about how much
they've enjoyed this episode orthis story or whatever it might
be, and if we can bring joy toone person, that's what it's
(45:22):
about and what we've learned isit's a lot more than one, and so
it's.
It's such a fulfilling thing tohear those things and have
people open, open up to you andtell you their story and um,
because you just I neverrealized before, you know what
people have went through orgoing through and everybody
(45:43):
deals with it differently.
And so, from starting thepodcast, you and I, you know,
for whatever reason, you listenand you start to get this
calling of you need to get yourstory out.
We get it out.
You're writing a book.
Speaker 5 (46:02):
I'm telling you what I tell you the other day what I
text you, what I tell you,what's going to happen.
I think you're full of it.
What'd I tell you?
I don't?
It's embarrassing even sayingyou can say it.
I'll confirm it.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Don't nod his head.
I, I told you that there'sgoing to be a movie about your
story.
Now, this may be 10 years down,this may be 20 years down the
road, but, sean, your, yourstory is so unbelievable, so
impactful, that there is nodoubt in my mind.
Your story will be a movie atsome point in time, and maybe
(46:37):
we're dead and gone, I don'tknow, maybe your kids will see
it.
But part of part of the processand and I don't know why I
think this or where it came frombut I knew that there was a
book for you that will beimpactful to millions of people
and from that there will be amovie, and now it's out there
(46:57):
for people.
So I'm telling you, man, it'ssuper impactful.
I am, I am proud to call you afriend.
I'm proud to call you a friend,I'm proud to call you a brother
.
I don't want to talk about wherewe think this is going to go
yet because, um, it's going totake a little time, but we're
getting there on on, uh, youknow, having even more of an
(47:18):
impact in in the lives of someyouth.
I think is is what's to come.
Uh, I'm excited for that.
I'm scared for that, becausethere's a lot of things and
we've had this conversationthere's a there's a lot of uh
things that that I think need tohappen.
I'm more of a person where I'dlike to have everything in line,
uh, and I know that's notalways the case and sometimes
(47:41):
that's not always the best way,because what do you say?
Speaker 5 (47:44):
just jump jump leap of faith.
There's this picture that I sawand it's.
I forget exactly what it was,but the guy's looking over the
edge and he can't see butthere's a net down there or
whatever it is, and all they gotto do is jump.
(48:05):
Are you the type of guy that,when you're going swimming, do
you dip your toe in?
You're just cannonball and gofor it I usually can't, oh yeah
why don't people do that in life, though?
why?
Why do people not take risks intheir lives?
(48:25):
Like you, can live a mediocrelife very easily, and I feel
like that's what I've done.
God didn't put this on me allof it to do that?
I don't think, and it's time tojump man Like I know.
(48:49):
I've had faith in my abilitiesand my work history, but now
that I think there's somethingbigger and we're going to find
out, we're either going to findout or we're going to.
Hey, you know what?
We're going to fall on our facemaybe.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
Who cares?
Speaker 5 (49:09):
I don't care.
You know why?
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Because we're going to learn from it.
Whatever it is, we're going tolearn.
Speaker 5 (49:16):
I feel, like this podcast, I've held my emotions a
little better, like I mean,that's what I feel like.
Maybe I've talked a littlebetter, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
I think you did great both times.
Speaker 5 (49:33):
Just, I always tell my kids to believe in themselves
, and it's time I start doingthe same.
Speaker 3 (49:42):
Sean, this is a good place to end it.
Man, powerful, inspiring,enthusiastic I mean, these are
the.
This is you, you know this isyou and I'm thankful for you.
Speaker 4 (50:02):
Um, I'm excited to see where we go from here.
Yeah, one of the things youtalk about, you know, when you
talked about alcoholism and it'sin and with you, right, like
not going down, like if thathappens with your kids it's not
because of you, cause you endedit.
I feel like the same thing'skind of true when you say like,
do you believe in yourself?
Like if you believe in yourself, go do it.
You know what are your kidsseeing?
They're seeing exactly the samething.
You putting yourself out there,you saying, hey, we only got
one life, we're going to go forit.
You know, I just yeah.
(50:24):
And then you talk about themovie and it's just like yeah, I
know, I know you think it's farfetched and all that Right, but
take yourself out of it, okay.
So a young boy goes through verydifficult circumstances all
throughout his life, all the waygrowing up to adulthood.
Then one day it just clicks andit's just like you know what?
Like been through all thisstuff and it changes.
(50:49):
And then all of a sudden thetrajectory is up and you take
chances on, you bet on yourselfand it's the true American
underdog story.
It is.
Would you go see it?
You know what I mean.
Take yourself out of it andthen think about it.
All the crap, all the stuffthat nobody can even imagine and
it really happened to somebody.
And somebody comes out on theother and stronger and better
than ever, and nobody can stophis joy.
(51:11):
Like that's the Americanunderdog story.
I mean I'd watch it.
I would too, so you got two.
Speaker 3 (51:20):
you got two viewers, yeah.
Speaker 4 (51:22):
That's double our goal Originally when we started
this podcast.
Yeah, that's right, two people.
Speaker 3 (51:25):
Anything you want to.
That's double our goaloriginally when we started this
podcast.
Yeah, that's right, two people.
Anything you want to say tofinish?
Speaker 5 (51:32):
thank you for both of you for the kind words that's
almost embarrassing to hear butthat's the truth, that's the way
I feel about it.
But again, but that's the truth, that's the way like I feel
about it.
But again, one comment onFacebook there was a kid in
(51:54):
Dayton that was struggling andhad some similar circumstances
and I remember a lady was likeI'm going to have so-and-so.
Watch this.
So, I mean Knowing that maybesomeone did watch the podcast
and it did help them, becausewhen you're walking through,
(52:15):
like Jason Coger, the John 13-7,like you don't understand why
he's doing it right now, but oneday you will.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
Starting to understand it yeah.
Speaker 5 (52:31):
And I fight against it.
I don't know why I fightagainst it.
I don't know why I fightagainst it Like I feel this and
I'm like nope, nope, nope, don'twant to do that.
Speaker 1 (52:46):
Don't want to do that .
Speaker 5 (52:47):
But like, why do people resist it?
I don't know why, but I getanxious when you say movie, book
.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
I get anxious when you come to my office and we sit
and talk about, you know, doingthe things that we talk about
doing for for the youth.
Um, I get anxious about that.
So I get it.
You know, those it's change.
It's not easy, um, but what I'mtrying to do is is look at it
as, uh, you know, like, like Ido now with with the podcast is,
(53:20):
you know it's, it's inspiring.
You know there's there's somany people out there struggling
for whatever reason and, um,you know, if we want to make
this world a better place whichI do, and I've said it before it
starts with us.
It starts with us as men, asfathers, as friends, husbands.
(53:45):
You know people are looking atus and how we react in
situations, and there's kids outthere, like you, that don't
have a dad, that don't know howto handle certain situations,
and maybe that's where we comein in some small part to help
(54:07):
that child to get throughwhatever difficulties they're
facing.
So I'm right there with you.
Speaker 4 (54:14):
We talked about it earlier this morning.
Imposter syndrome yeah, I mean,I feel like that's something I
battle constantly is imposter,no matter what section of my
life I'm in that I'm trying todo better at, it's just like you
just feel like, ah, I don'tknow if this is you know, just
feel like you're faking italmost.
I you're not, but it's like Idon't know.
(54:34):
I always think it's the deviltrying to insert, you know,
doubt in your mind I mean,that's what he does right to me.
Speaker 5 (54:40):
So that brings me to one of the football lessons that
we just taught.
The kids trust the process.
Like there's no instantgratification in the work we're
doing right now, like themessage is absolutely the
helping people, but long term,if this goes where we want it to
be, like it's a lot of hardwork and it's going to take time
(55:01):
um and I know your kids arelike well you only
Speaker 4 (55:04):
got x amount of views .
Speaker 5 (55:06):
Dance getters are very supportive, yeah right,
you've been doing this for 40weeks.
That that's not even a year.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
I know yeah.
Speaker 5 (55:15):
Just we.
You got to trust the process ofwhy you started it and believe
in it.
Yeah, you're going to havehaters Everybody does and that's
one thing that you guys, Icommend you on.
Like you're a business owner,you don't have to do this.
I know Like you're puttingyourself out there and I commend
(55:39):
you for that.
Um, I couldn't imagine, like Iknow, a lot of the good stuff
that comes from this, but I'msure there's bad things, maybe,
maybe not, there hasn't been alot.
Speaker 3 (55:51):
No, I'm not.
I mean not really Okay.
I'm sure people are talkingunder their breath or whatever,
and that's fine.
I don't.
That doesn't bother me.
I recognize that everybody'sgot their own opinion and I'm
okay with that.
There hasn't been any likehatred towards anything.
Speaker 5 (56:07):
I don't know how there really could be unless
it's just because we suck,because you don't know what an
ultrasound is.
Speaker 3 (56:13):
It's just because we suck, yeah, because you don't
know what an ultrasound is.
Well, yeah, that could be one,but you know we haven't seen
that yet.
But you know we're not reallyall the way out there in the
world either, you know.
So, yes, that'll come.
No-transcript people.
(57:00):
People come in my office crying, you know, and want to pray
with me, uh, because of of apodcast that they heard or a
story that they heard, and wantto tell me what they're going
through.
That that's, that's tough.
I mean, that's feels reallygood that they have the trust in
(57:21):
me to come and sit down andjust tell me their life.
But, man, it's, it's hard forme because, you know, I lay in
bed at night and then you startworrying about that person.
You know I mean, you know, I hada conversation with someone I'm
very, very close with, um,Saturday night.
They texted me late and wantedto know if I could talk and uh,
(57:42):
I did, and they told me somethings that I was um, that was
very difficult for me to hearand difficult for me to process,
um, and all you know, all Icould do, all I kept thinking in
my mind was I, you know, yougotta be encouraging to this
person because they're in a darkspot and um, and they're going
(58:04):
to get through it.
But I didn't sleep that night.
You know, I didn't sleepbecause of all the things that I
I felt for them.
You know, I felt the challengesthat they were going through
and, uh, they're in the fire,you know they're, they're in the
middle of the fire and, um, youknow, so that's a burden, and
so a lot of times for me, youknow, when we get done recording
here, I'm going to theArboretum for for a walk.
(58:25):
You know my daily walk, I goand I just, you know, a lot of
the times I'm uh, if people seeme out there, they're probably
like who the hell is that guytalking to?
You know?
Because I'm just like all rightGod, why me?
You know?
Why did this person call me andtell me what they told me?
I'm not a psychiatrist, youknow, I don't have, I don't feel
(58:47):
like I have the answers.
I guess I just listen.
You know, I listen and I try tobe encouraging because, uh,
that's all I know you know, butit's, it's a heavy burden.
Speaker 4 (59:00):
Half time that's half the battle.
Speaker 5 (59:01):
People just need somebody to listen to them you
know, and I, and I think thefeedback that I've got was I was
clearly not a trained actortelling a story, um, but I think
people can relate to that withyou like I know, you I know,
like we're real like we're notyeah we're from Preble County,
(59:23):
ohio, like not Hollywood, yeahlike there's no acting.
This is who we are.
This is who you've been, thiswho I've been've been.
Speaker 1 (59:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (59:33):
And yeah, I mean and we truly are here to help.
Like, like you said, this isnot an act.
I mean, this is who I am, thisis who you know.
Us three men, we want to helppeople, right?
Uh, there's nothing to gainhere.
This costs me money to put thisout, right, I'm okay with it.
(59:53):
I'm okay with continuing to doit because I think there's a big
need for it, and whether thatneed is just our little area,
I'm okay with it.
If it becomes more than that,I'm okay with it, because it's
not my plan.
Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Absolutely.
It's God's plan.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
For whatever reason, we're here because this is where
he wants me to be.
I still, every day, give mesome direction.
Well, you know where's thisgoing, but I'm grateful for sure
, and I'm grateful for you, menbecause, you know, we all go
through a lot and and we needimportant men and women in our
(01:00:32):
lives, you know, to help us.
Speaker 4 (01:00:34):
So and the authenticity is where it's at.
I mean, we talked about thereel that we posted about your
you know, can't fake it.
Yeah, the divorce, but that waswhat if you actually go in
there.
I know you didn't know that alot of people were the reason
why that there's so many views,because how many people are
commenting on it?
and one of the big things is, Imean, I've been where, like I've
been where you're at, I amwhere you're at, like all these,
(01:00:54):
you know, and these are menthat probably don't have anybody
talk to.
They go on social mediathinking, you know, nobody else
is looking at this.
I can be real on it and there'ssome people that put like a lot
of thought and comments onthere and it's almost like those
people don't have somebody totalk to.
But they heard you in, likeyour story, and they just put
out there what they're feelingabout, what they're going
through or what they've beenthrough.
(01:01:15):
And I mean I read some of thecomments and just like, man,
yeah, you can see the, the needthere and uh, the authenticity
and and real is where people Ifeel like get their therapeutic
need that maybe us men strugglewith and I know I said something
about how men suppress theirfeelings we should right let
Right, Let me.
Speaker 5 (01:01:35):
Let me.
Let me explain that comment,though.
We should never vomit onto ourwives, girlfriends or anything
like that.
Group of men?
Absolutely, but you cannot, yougotta.
You can't go out and I.
That's a mistake I made.
Um, and I know if we text eachother about that, but when I
(01:01:55):
hated my job, I'd come home andlet everybody know about it and
that was wrong, 100% wrong,because you have no clue what
the other person is thinking.
Oh, he says he hates his job,he's going to quit this, that
and the other, and the burdenthat it puts on her shoulders or
your significant other'sshoulders is great, and I didn't
even know I was doing that.
So when I say, suppress ourfeelings, like there's some of
(01:02:20):
that stuff you have to, that's apart of being a man.
Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Right.
Speaker 5 (01:02:24):
But when you get other men around like, it's okay
because we're men, but youcannot put that on your family
and your significant other.
Speaker 4 (01:02:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:02:33):
Because that's a huge burden, huge burden that they
don't need to.
Men should struggle, likethat's a part of being a man.
Um, but if you're excited aboutthat, like the struggle, like
once you know it, you just startlaughing when you struggle yeah
and you can just get through it.
You can just get through it,you can just get through it,
(01:02:54):
because it's only 10 more feet,right, you know this is going on
a little bit here, but I likeit.
Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
Um, so I'm in the.
I'm in the middle of phase oneof the live hard program, which
is the second step after 75 hard, and the most difficult thing
is I have to take a five minutecold shower.
I thought it was going to be thefasting, the fasting has been
very difficult, but that's, thatwas my doing.
But I heard Goggins saysomething on a podcast or on an
(01:03:25):
Instagram reel or somethingabout pain.
And they ask him you know why?
How do you just embrace pain?
And he says it's tells me I'malive.
So when I'm in the shower and Itell siri hey, set my timer for
five minutes, I'm standingthere.
Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
I'm like dude I feel the pain, I'm alive, you know.
But man, oh man, is it cold.
Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
So yeah, that's part of suppressing those, that's
hilarious, so I too startedtaking cold.
Speaker 5 (01:03:54):
I'm not as consistent as I need to be.
Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:03:57):
But I got an, my son got an ice bath.
Oh, yeah, we filled it up andthen it froze.
But so when you're in there,when you're in that shower and
it's running down your back andyou're literally freezing about
30 to 40 seconds into it, I juststart laughing because I know
(01:04:21):
like, yeah, I just know thatI'll make it through it and it
sucks but that's funny.
You say that because at aboutthe 30 to 45 seconds is when you
start getting a little bitcomfortable and you're just like
because I close my eyes and Ijust try to go to a different
spot yeah, and you know, pretendI'm at a beach or something
(01:04:45):
very cold beach, yeah but whatI'm saying is, if you embrace it
, it's actually easier they sayembrace the suck, that's right?
yeah, easier said than done, butvery easy, yeah, I try uh, I'm
gonna start doing, I'm gonnamake a prediction right here.
I'm gonna start doing a coldplunge for three minutes once it
(01:05:05):
freezes out.
Like hold me accountable tothat, okay all right I'll send
it to global media.
Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
Now, sean, I won't tell you this in the summer.
I do it for 11 minutes, 11.
Speaker 5 (01:05:18):
That's unhealthy Go 15.
How cold is the?
Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
water.
Uh 58 is what I can get it to.
Yeah, Out of the well, I put itin the garage.
It's an old cattle trough.
I didn't buy this you do 11minutes in a cold plunge.
Yeah, yeah, 11 minutes.
Like I'll go run.
I mean it'd be hot outside butI'll go.
I'll go run for 45 minutes.
I'm drenched in sweat and I getin that thing and yeah, 11
(01:05:45):
minutes.
Set the timer and once you getpast, uh, I think the numbness
sets in like at a minute 30, two, two minutes and then you're
pretty good.
But getting down into itespecially once you get like
right to that spot on thebackside of your neck and your
your spine.
Yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 4 (01:06:03):
Just got a cannonball .
If all you want to do is threeSean.
Speaker 5 (01:06:07):
I heard that's all.
They recommend is three calledhypothermia.
Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
Hey, embrace the suck .
I want to keep my toes Allright.
We've probably lost all kindsof people here, but that's okay
I'm.
I'm good with it.
Man, great conversation.
Thanks for telling you knowmore of your story and, um, one
thing I want to tell people iswe, we always appreciate you
listening, watching on YouTube,all those things.
(01:06:33):
We always appreciate youlistening, watching on YouTube,
all those things.
What we've learned is thealgorithms like it when you
share, when you comment thesubscriptions, the likes, all
those things.
But if you can comment, make acomment, whether it's hey,
episode sucks or hey, this isgreat.
Give us some comments, keepsharing.
That's what's important, tocontinue to get this message out
(01:06:55):
there.
But we appreciate your support,sean, always appreciate you.
Excited to see where this allgoes for everybody sitting at
this table and for those thatwill be impacted.
Go out and be tempered.
Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Cajun's Glass.
Thanks, Allie Thingsie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns.
Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
Catron's Glass.
Thanks Allie.
Things like doors and windowsgo into making a house, but when
it's your home, you expect morelike the great service and
selection you'll get fromCatron's Glass.
Final replacement windows fromCatron's come with a lifetime
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Speaker 1 (01:07:37):
Kitchens Plus the clear choice.
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