May 29, 2025 • 61 mins
What happens when your carefully built life suddenly crumbles? On this deeply honest and inspiring episode of the BeTempered Podcast, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Joan Parsons, a woman whose life story is marked by unexpected heartbreak, enduring faith, and the quiet strength that comes from trusting God through life’s hardest seasons.
Joan grew up surrounded by the steady beauty of rural Ohio farmland, a childhood filled with warmth, stability, and the simplicity of country life. But at just 13 years old, her world was turned upside down by her parents’ divorce—a seismic shift that cracked open questions about love, security, and identity. Rather than allowing the brokenness to define her, Joan leaned into her growing faith. That pain became a doorway to a deeper purpose.
From that point forward, her life became a series of bold steps led by conviction. She met her husband through campus ministry and together they embarked on a journey that would eventually take them to post-communist Budapest with two small children. There, far from the familiar, Joan encountered the unexpected pressures and emotional toll of missionary life—something rarely spoken about in Christian circles. She shares candidly about the anxiety she faced and how she learned to survive with one guiding principle: have someone to love, someone who loves you, and something to look forward to.
But nothing prepared her for the loss that came in 2016 when her husband suddenly passed away, leaving her widowed with four children ranging in age from 14 to 20. In the aftermath of that life-altering moment, Joan found herself facing deep grief, mounting responsibilities, and the painful realization that 72% of her support system quietly faded away. Yet what she describes next is a stunning testament to the power of real community—the 28% who remained showed up in such a profound and complete way that it felt like “1000%.”
Rather than retreating, Joan leaned into the calling that had been growing in her heart for years. She poured herself into Neighbor Bible Study to Go (NBS2GO), a ministry that began with a simple idea: empowering everyday people to reach their neighbors with the Gospel in natural, life-giving ways. What started in her local community now spans 175 countries and has been translated into 55 languages—proof that God multiplies even the smallest acts of faith.
Joan’s voice is gentle, but her words carry the weight of someone who’s been through fire and emerged with wisdom and grace. She challenges the cultural obsession with curated, Instagram-perfect lives by reminding listeners that “flourishing can happen every day,” even in the messy middle of loss, anxiety, or uncertainty. Her story is not about tidy endings—it’s about hope in the midst of heartbreak and finding purpose in the ruins.
Whether you’re walking through your own valley of grief, struggling to hold things together, or just questioning if your ordinary life has meaning, Joan’s testimony will meet you where you are—and lift your eyes to something bigger.
🎧 Don’t miss this episode of BeTempered — a podcast where real stories meet real faith.
🌐 Learn more about Joan’s global ministry at nbs2go.com
📱 Follow the journey and join the mission—right where you are.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Catron's Glass.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Thanks, allie.
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Speaker 1 (00:26):
Kitchen's best.
The clear choice.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we
explore the art of findingbalance in a chaotic world.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Join us as we delve into insightful conversations,
practical tips and inspiringstories to help you navigate
life's ups and downs with graceand resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
We're your hosts, dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr.
Let's embark on a journey tolive our best lives.
This is Be Tempered.
What's up everybody.
Welcome to the Be Temperedpodcast, episode number 56, Dan
56,.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
There we go.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
You got it right.
Good job, ben A for effort.
Today we're honored to sit downwith Joan Parsons, a woman
whose life has been shaped bydeep faith, incredible service
and a heart that's been testedand refined through seasons of
both great joy and great sorrow.
Joan grew up on a farm inPreble County, ohio, and through
(01:18):
her journey started in ruralAmerica.
It's taken her across the world, from ministry work in the deep
south to seven years inBudapest, hungary, and
eventually back to Georgia whereshe lives now.
Her story is one of heartbreakand healing, of learning to
listen deeply and love well, andof choosing faith in the face
(01:39):
of fear.
Joan's life is a powerfulreminder that God truly wastes
nothing, that even in ourbrokenness, he is near, weaving
every part of our story intosomething beautiful.
Whether you're grieving,searching for direction or
simply wondering if you matter,joan's story will remind you
that you're not alone.
(02:00):
Her words are powerful, notjust because of what she's lived
through, but because of thegrace and honesty with which she
tells it.
Joan, welcome to the BeTempered podcast.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Thanks for making the trek up from Georgia and you
were in Louisville dropping yourdaughter off.
You're going to go back toLouisville.
You're a world traveler,daughter off, you're going to go
back to louisville.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
You're, you're, you're a world traveler.
I have a card, too, that sayswelcome when you enter a state.
Do you have?
Speaker 3 (02:32):
yeah, oh, yeah, yeah yeah welcome to ohio.
I get a lot of welcomes on theway up from georgia, so yeah,
it's a friendly car yeah, that'sgreat well, it's good to have
you and I know we met I don'tknow, a month or so ago and had
a very powerful conversation.
Uh, learned a little bit aboutyou, you learned a little bit
(02:55):
about me.
We have a connection, um, in inthe Preble County area, the
farming community Um and um, butI I didn't know your story and
it's powerful and I'm excitedfor you to share it.
Excited for you to take thetime to come in here today.
So how we start every podcastis we like to start from the
(03:16):
beginning.
We want to know your story fromchildhood.
So if you would tell us aboutyour childhood growing up in
Preble County.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
I loved growing up in Preble County.
I'm the daughter of a farmer.
It's a multi-generationalworking farm still.
My dad is 87.
And my brother and his twochildren also work the farm now.
But it was great.
I you know, being raised inPreble County meant my life
(03:44):
revolved around farm and fun andmy four siblings I'm just one
of five and we just had a great,great childhood.
Mom and dad are incrediblepeople and still are.
Both are doing great and youknow, my life revolved around
(04:04):
4-H, honestly, and and so andjust life on the farm, and it
was a really great, great time.
I had three brothers and asister, so with three brothers
in a large farmhouse, prankswere common.
In fact, when I told my son oneof the one of the questions
that you had asked, um, he saidplease make sure you tell, to
(04:27):
tell about the time that youflew down the stairs.
So tell, my two brothers werestanding at the base of the
stairs and I was at the top ofmy bedroom and, just slightly
loud enough, my one brother saysto the other brother which the
three of us were the only oneshome.
Did you hear that?
That's all it took.
(04:50):
There were eight stairs andthen a set of like 10.
So I flew from the top to thelanding and then I flew 10
stairs down.
There were no stairs in betweenJust hit the landing and then
midway down I could see theirfaces like, oh no, how's she
going to land this?
And it was total prank and Iwas so mad.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Anyway, they laugh, they still laugh, it's still a
story that's told nearly everygathering.
That's great.
Sibling love, sibling love.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So what'd you do in 4-H?
What animals did you show?
Speaker 5 (05:28):
I I showed cattle and um lambs, but my specialty was
rabbits.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Rabbits oh boy.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
There's no skill with that, but that was your
specialty, that was my specialty.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
My kids are all involved in 4-H and I've always
you know they talked about thegirls talked about doing horses.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
I'm like we're not doing horses because you can't
eat them.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
So if you're going, to be on the Schmidt farm and
you're going to show an animal.
We've got to.
I want to come full circle.
You know that circle of life,so you learn all those things.
So, and rabbits is one of thosethings.
I said you can show rabbits butI'm not coming to watch because
that's a brutal show to watchWatching paint dry, yeah, but I
loved.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
My mom taught me to sew, so sewing in 4-H was kind
of my thing.
Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
That's great, so great childhood growing up.
Talk about school a little bit.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Mm-hmm Went to Eaton High School and do you want me
to talk about this college andsure Okay, Go right into that Um
well, this is, this is the partyou want me to sorry.
Just talk about my family, or?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
talk about it.
You can talk about going toschool, talk about your family.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
what life was like as you got older, um, and then
going into college, yeah, Um,you know it's interesting, we we
did have a very happy go luckychildhood, um, it was.
It was a really unique time forour family, um, but when I was
(06:57):
13, I found myself with um oneof my parents sitting me down
and saying they were going toget divorced, and that turned
life upside down.
And in Preble County years ago,when I was little, it seemed
that divorce was unheard of,which speaks sort of I mean
(07:19):
really honestly highly of therural towns, just that marriage
is honored, of the rural towns,just that marriage is honored,
and there's not that many or atthe time did not seem that many
people divorced.
And so for each of us, we allhad consequences of how that
played itself out and it was asad time for us as a family, and
(07:44):
I would say that that seasonbrought that, indeed that worst
day, but also brought thisincredible day in my life.
For me personally, just thehardship was just I was just
embarrassed no child, youwouldn't think that would be
kind of their emotion.
(08:04):
Just embarrassed no child, youwouldn't think that would be
kind of their emotion, but thatwas just where my heart was.
I was involved in sports againin 4-H, and so when those were
public moments, the parentsweren't sitting together, and so
those are just things aschildren that we absorb.
(08:25):
Nobody put that on me.
My parents are great.
Nobody put it on me.
It's just things that youabsorb.
But through that time it was atime I really cried out to God.
I really I had.
We were raised in a religioushome, but I was never fully sure
(08:48):
that God was with me, andsomewhere deep down I thought
that having divorced parentswould be a strike against me and
I don't know why Nobody told methat.
But it was the furthest thingfrom the truth and I love the
Bible verse.
(09:08):
This is just something that hasstayed with me through the
years.
It says the Lord is close tothe brokenhearted and he rescues
those whose spirits are crushed.
Even as a 13-year-old, itdoesn't matter your age.
God wants to be near, he isnear to the brokenhearted.
A 13-year-old, it doesn't matteryour age.
God wants to be near, he isnear to the brokenhearted.
And through my cries justcrying out to God for his
(09:29):
presence and answers, he broughtme somebody to clearly explain
to me that I could have arelationship with God that would
be permanent and I would neverhave to fear whether or not he
was there.
That if I would fully place myfaith in his work on the cross,
that he would come into my life,forgive me and never leave me.
(09:52):
Those were words of gold, andthat was the best day of my life
that I placed my faith inChrist.
He came into my life andpromised to never leave me to my
life and promised to neverleave me, and so, even though I,
you know, all children wish youknow at the moment that their
(10:18):
parents were divorced it stillbrought the most amazing day for
me and it really did change thetrajectory of my life at that
point because it gave me suchincredible peace and joy to know
that I would forever haveChrist in my life and that I
would go to heaven.
That was a powerful moment forme.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
That's a powerful story and I appreciate you being
vulnerable with that becausewhen we had the conversation you
kind of glossed over that alittle bit and, uh, we went back
and I said, uh, there wassomething there because I can
tell it and it's still to thisday I can.
I can see it in your eyes thatyou know it was a very impactful
time for you.
You talk about that powerfultransition from you know this,
(11:00):
this sorrow and, I'm sure,questioning what's going on and
why is this happening?
And and not understanding at apretty challenging age for any
young kid, but especially ayoung girl at 13,.
What, what was?
Was there a person or who, whowas it that made that switch for
you or told you that?
(11:22):
Is there a specific individual?
Speaker 5 (11:25):
It was a person who explained that to me, but I
don't know her name Really.
You just remember the impactthat it had.
I just remember the impact itwas profound, profound, and I
think we all have that deepdesire to know God.
(11:46):
He put that within us and whenwe cry out to him, he wants to
tell us that, just even on thispodcast, how your stories of
faith have been interwoven.
Your stories of faith have beeninterwoven.
(12:06):
People hear that and they nowknow they can respond to God and
they can have Christ in theirlife and have full forgiveness
and know that they have eternallife.
It's powerful.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
It is powerful.
How did your siblings take allthat their divorce?
Or the divorce, going throughthat same similar time.
I know there were differentages, but different ages were
interesting.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
My sister was in college and then I had an older
brother and then a brother thatwas just a couple of years older
and then one younger.
I think at the time you justwalk through it without
conversation.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
So you feel alone and you don't even know what your
emotions are doing, and each ofus have a story that we walked
through, um and it's, and it'ssomething that has brought us
together in many ways.
I love my siblings to this day.
(13:13):
We have a really tight bond andI think sometimes those hard,
messy places bond you togetherwith people that you never
thought would happen.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Yeah, that's where you find out who you are, who
they are.
You grow from it, you learnfrom it.
Yeah, that's powerful, verypowerful.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
One of the big things I take away.
Well, you used the wordforgiveness, and so my parents,
when they got divorced.
It was a long divorce, I thinkit was like I want to say, maybe
I was 19, and it went on untilmaybe I was 21, 22, because all
the courts and everybody wantingdifferent things.
So one of the hardest thingsfor me to overcome as a child of
(13:55):
the parents that were divorced,even though I was an adult
right, was trying to, you know,almost like one of your parents
trying to put you againstanother and you hear one side of
the story and another side ofthe story.
And so we actually got marriedwhen our parents were divorced,
and it was, you know, dadsitting on this side of the you
know of the reception hall, momsitting on this side of the
(14:15):
reception hall, and you know youcould cut the tension with a
knife.
I mean it was, and so that wasone of the hardest things for me
was forgiveness.
I mean it took a long time andit was God that that did it.
You know I'd go to church onSunday and I feel very connected
with the Lord.
Then all of a sudden it's likelet's preach a preaching about
this weekend.
Forgiveness Boom.
You don't think I'm talkingabout you, and it took a lot of
(14:40):
blows where I'm just like there,like daggone, he's talking to
me.
So when you said forgiveness,that's kind of what triggered in
my mind, though Even though Iwas, like I said, a grown adult,
you still deal with that.
I mean, those are the parentsthat you're a model in your
marriage.
After you think growing up thateverything's good, they're at
your sporting events, they'resporting you and all of a sudden
(15:01):
, even though you're an adult,and it's just like all of those,
those memories and everything,it's like, well, how many of
those were real?
What was going on behind?
the scenes and stuff that youthink about so yeah, I thought
that was kind of interesting.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
I think too, there's that whole, the whole.
I mean this is a story of ourlives in the area of forgiveness
is sometimes we think toourselves, okay.
I'm going to forgive, andthat's going to be it on that.
One thing Like this but then aweek later you're like oh wait,
but did I fully forgive?
Somebody explained it to me andjust said you know, forgiveness
(15:33):
is daily.
So whatever you remember thatday, or if there's a triggering
moment, just extend, start theday in that posture of
forgiveness and if it comes upduring the day.
But I think sometimes we gethard on ourselves because we
think, well, I didn't learn thatlesson.
I think it's a lifelong lessonthat we have the opportunity
(15:56):
because christ is within us andhe is constantly pulling us to
the father and being in a placeof forgiveness.
And he is constantly pulling usto the Father and being in a
place of forgiveness and it'sjust a powerful thing and it
releases that over you when youthink, oh my gosh, I have to.
Okay, maybe I really didn'tforgive.
Well, yes, you did, it's justsomething else was brought up
(16:18):
that you remembered, or anothertriggering moment that
forgiveness is necessary again.
And that's fine we need to be,we need to be gracious with
ourselves to walk through that.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
And just find that posture of just asking God, you
know, help me in that gap that Ihave right now, where I'm
trying to forgive.
I feel like I'm forgiven, butjust come over top me and just
help me really fully.
I mean, whenever I do that, Ifeel like it helps a lot.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Well, and I think for people who hold grudges who
don't forgive, well, and I thinkfor people who hold grudges who
don't forgive, you know, theonly person that's really
hurting is you.
You know you're the one holdingthat resentment or that anger
or whatever it is inside.
And until you recognize thatand you realize you know what we
all make mistakes, you knowthings happen in our lives and,
(17:00):
uh, we wrong people or theywrong us or whatever.
But when, when we hold that inand we don't forgive, it's not
hurting anybody but ourselves.
So that's that's very important.
Forgiveness is is very powerful.
So so you get through that timein your life.
You graduate high school kindof talk about that transition
from high school into college.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Um, I went so far away, down to Miami university
is what was next county overapproximately seven miles, um,
or maybe a little bit more, butuh, but I lived on campus and
and still was just a, still apart of a transition to just
moving away from um.
(17:43):
Well, I moved, you know, evenwhen I was 13 and was in the
farmhouse and and then I movedum to be with mom, and then
moving from mom down to college,it was, you know, it just is
different, it is just adifferent transition.
And again you find yourself inplaces in college where you're
(18:05):
trying to figure out who you areand what you're going to stand
for and what you really wantyour life to count for beyond
the education.
So who are you among the peopleyou're meeting with?
And I was very, very thankfulto the Lord to provide he
provided a woman her name.
(18:25):
I do know her name her name isShane Armstrong and she works
with a campus ministry there andI met her pretty early on in my
years at Miami and she was justa great mentor type person,
discipler of people, mentor typeperson, discipler of people,
(18:52):
and I would just say she wasprobably one that has taught me
just really a lifelong desire tolove others and care for others
.
She's a person that isgenuinely interested in who you
are and she taught me a lotabout the Bible and about
(19:15):
walking with God, but I feellike the thing I learned the
most with her was how to loveand care for others and just be
genuinely interested in somebodythat's sitting across the table
from you, because she did thatso much with me yeah because who
who is not self-absorbed at 18,19, 20, well, even today?
but it was just so interestingthat she would just sit and
(19:39):
listen and ask good questionsand that has just stayed with me
through through many many years, her her heart and getting to
know people.
Even to this, she's still doingwhat she was doing that many
years ago, 35 years ago, and sheis just it's really.
(20:02):
It just feels like you aremeeting with somebody that just
really I don't even know how todescribe it.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
She was put here for you.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
That's exactly how everyone feels.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Yeah, yeah, that's an amazing feeling when you find
someone like that, a mentor.
Um, I can see that in you.
I can see that she rubbed offon you and how you interact with
I mean, we've only met twice,right, but I get that feeling
from you Like right now you're,you're listening to me intently,
(20:35):
um, you're, you're sharing youramazing story and I can just
see the care and the compassion.
So she definitely had a majorimpact on you and you, in return
, are doing the same.
So college is a challengingtime.
You know, like you said, you'dbe pulled away from home.
You're meeting people from alldifferent walks of life.
(20:58):
Uh, there's all kinds ofdistractions, um, that that you
wouldn't have had, probably inPreble County, ohio, but when
you step on the campus at Oxford, there's all kinds of things
going on.
So you were able to find thatmentor.
Talk about what.
What was your, what were youstudying and what were you
wanting to do when you firststarted?
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Well, I was a math education major and, yeah, I
just found myself in that majorbecause at the time I was good
at it.
And then after you know, itjust seemed it's interesting how
God works but in our lives, themore I was around Jane and the
other staff when I graduatedMiami, I thought to myself if I
(21:49):
can help one person like they'vehelped me, that's what I want
to do.
And so I joined theInternational Ministry of Crew
or Campus Crusade.
At that time, that many yearsago, it was a very natural
decision for me to want to dothat.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
And through that process you met a young man.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Mm-hmm, Joined the staff of crew and met my husband
, Drew.
And yeah, we served at AuburnUniversity and Southern
Mississippi University.
And you mentioned Budapest.
We moved there in 1998.
That was eight yearspost-communist, and then we
(22:32):
moved back to Atlanta.
We had been there seven yearsand we moved back to Atlanta 20
years ago.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Now, you just glossed over pretty quickly a lot of
years.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
And countries.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yeah, years countries .
Speaker 3 (22:47):
So you went down to Auburn, you were down in the
South and what were you doingspecifically?
Speaker 5 (22:53):
Yeah, so on staff, with crew, it's our desire to
reach students with the gospel,it's our desire to reach
students with the gospel, and sowe would just be available on
campus, we would have meetings,we'd have prayer times, we'd
initiate with students, and thatwas our daily job was to meet
(23:14):
with students and share withanybody.
You know, students who wereinterested and wanted to grow in
their faith, or people whodidn't know Christ and wanted to
know the Lord.
So we would have lots of timeslots of, you know meeting with
students there.
So that's what we did full time.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Family.
Did you start having a family?
Speaker 5 (23:37):
Yeah, when we moved to Hattiesburg Mississippi.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
And I had.
Two of my boys were born there,did you?
Speaker 5 (23:41):
start having a family .
Yeah, when we moved toHattiesburg, mississippi, and I
had two of my boys were bornthere and it was great.
We had great years Two atAuburn and then five at Southern
Miss in Hattiesburg.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
And then you decide to go to another country.
Yes, that's a pretty big deal.
Talk about that decision.
What led you to that decision?
Speaker 5 (24:04):
and what that was like.
That was an interestingdecision.
Um, when Drew and I met, andjust in, just, even in our
initial conversations, we bothhad a heart for overseas.
Um, a side note is that I didmy student teaching in Wiesbaden
, germany, very different timenow, and we would often travel
(24:29):
to different places and we wouldwalk in these beautiful
cathedrals, which are incredible, but I would step out of the
cathedral and feel so emptybecause the cathedral was empty,
there was no one there and wewould go back to, you know,
(24:49):
germany, where we were staying,and I just thought who will
reach these people?
Who where?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
is.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
Europe.
They just it just felt veryempty and I just had a huge
heart and started praying forEurope and then Eastern Europe
at the time.
And when I met Drew, I knew hehad a heart for overseas.
So we sort of already had thisheart to go overseas.
(25:16):
After having Nate and Grant, um, you know life, I don't want to
say it's complicated, but tomove four people overseas is
different than moving two peopleoverseas and we still had this
huge heart.
But I was so hesitant, I wasvery you know, obviously nervous
(25:38):
, wanted to, um, I knew Drewwanted to go and he was being.
He was extremely just, patientand no expectations, and I knew
deep down I wanted to go.
But it just felt like therewere so many what ifs and what
would life look like with atwo-year-old?
and a one-year-old and aone-year-old and I remember I
(26:07):
would seek counsel or I wouldpray or I would listen to our
pastor or whatever.
It is just kind of looking forthat answer, just looking for
that answer.
And one day I just sat downwith my journal open and I just
said, Lord, I want to hear fromyou, I just need to hear from
you.
And it wasn't like a bigbooming voice in the sky, but it
was certainly an impression ofa question.
(26:28):
He just simply very kindlyasked if I have hundreds of
people for you to reach inEastern Europe, do you?
want to do that, and it wasn'tdemanding or commanding, it was
a question.
And the question was given tome like it was mine and I was
like, okay, that's exactly whatI needed to hear, I will, I'm
(26:48):
willing to go.
And you know, with that, drewwas you know, of course, excited
sold a car.
I sold our car, sold our house,packed up our earthly
belongings and put it in acontainer to ship it to Budapest
, hungary, and he was given agreat, he was given a great
(27:11):
opportunity to serve there, andthat was just a big part of it,
too, was just the opportunitythat he was given.
It was our headquarters, thatwas Cruz headquarters for all of
Eastern Europe.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (27:24):
And so he was asked to give direction to the showing
of the Jesus film all overEastern Europe.
That was post-communism, soeveryone was open to what even
the West was saying, so theywanted to hear.
They had not been taughtanything about the Bible or
about Christ.
(27:44):
So, anyway, the opportunity wasincredible that he was given
and to step in and, mind you, atthe time I think he was 30
years old, and so it was just ahuge step of faith and God met
us every step of the way.
So, and more I mean, I think hejust takes those servants who
(28:06):
know they can't really we don't,we didn't have the education or
the know-how or all thatanything to really accomplish
something so big.
And he's like I'm ready to usethis person who knows that they
know they can't really do thison their own.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
But they've got the faith to do it.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
The faith to do it and to take that step.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Yeah, that's amazing.
So you get over there.
I'll talk about that transition, because that had to be a
little different.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Well, of course.
I mean I think we had this joke.
Among there there was a smallmissionary community, which was
great, but we had this.
Many of the wives or moms wouldhave this like small sentence
to their husband if I hate ithere, can we go home?
And we'd say that the first weekalmost all of us because it was
(28:54):
a struggle, and there were nolarge stores, no spaghetti sauce
in a jar, I mean everything wasfrom scratch.
There's no Walmart and therewere no large stores, no
spaghetti sauce in a jar, I meaneverything was from scratch.
There's no Walmart, there's nolibrary of English books, I mean
.
So a two-year-old and aone-year-old in a country, just
(29:18):
every little convenience you canthink of was taken away and so
we just there were some reallyhard times and I would say I
landed in a season of anxietyand that, you know, for a farm
girl raised in such a casual oryou know whatever setting, to
land with such anxiety was soforeign to me and it was just
(29:40):
hard.
It was hard to walk through.
I'd wake up sometimes in themorning and Drew would say, are
you okay?
And I'd be like no, I'm not,I'm just, and anxiety is funny.
You can't really put yourfinger on what it is.
You just know that there's thisongoing anxious feeling and, as
(30:03):
God always does and you criesout to him, of course there were
many verses and things that hegave me which were very, very
reassuring, but he also gave meanother mom who was probably 10,
15 years older than me, margieMortensen.
I still even remember thisconversation to this day, but I
just said what do you do, how doyou face this, how do you deal
with this?
And she said I'm going to tellyou something that my
(30:25):
grandmother taught me.
And she said it's not overlycomplicated.
She just said if you can knowthat three things that you have
someone to love and someoneloves you, you and you have
something to look forward tothose will carry you through any
day.
And that's exactly what Ineeded.
(30:47):
It wasn't like this massive,like you know thing, and over
time my anxiety subsided.
It's not an overnight thingright anxiety doesn't do that.
It's a it's a daily renewing ofyour mind, reminding yourself
what's true.
And then those three thingswere really simple to me, but I
was able my mind, my heart, myemotions were able to kind of go
(31:11):
there.
And even if it's a simple littlething every day to look forward
to, I decided I'd take a walkwith the boys.
Every day was a walk to thelittle store and you know just
one little thing.
And then it was every week welooked forward to something, and
then once a month we looked, wetried to plan something that
we'd look forward to.
It just was a really simpletime, but something that was
(31:33):
really important.
I think it'd be.
Really it's a good thing foryour audience to to know too.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Uh, we and we talk about that a lot is just taking
that step.
You know when, when times aretough, when you're, you're,
you've got anxiety, you've gotstress.
You just made a humongous lifechanging event, you know, to go
from the comforts that you hadto a complete different country
(31:59):
where you, like you said youcouldn't go to the grocery store
.
You, you probably had to go tothe local market where they were
making the tomato sauce and anddoing all those things.
So very unique and and notsomething you were used to.
But through that conversation,you recognize that if I just
take that step every day, thateventually I'll start stacking
(32:22):
those wins and things will beokay.
And that's that's hard for a lotof people.
I think taking that step is thehardest part of that first step
.
So that's that's very powerful.
Thank you for sharing that.
So you've had a lot ofinfluences, um, through that
time.
But you didn't run home, youstayed there.
So so you stayed there.
(32:42):
So obviously you started tohave an impact, your family
started to have an impact andyour family grew.
So talk about that a little bit, as you were into those years
living over there.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
Well, we made a two year commitment and we stayed
seven, so that's how it goessometimes.
But, yeah, so Nate and Grantwere growing up and we wanted,
you know, we felt like ourfamily wasn't finished.
That's what I would just say.
And then Zach and Claire wereborn there, and that was crazy.
(33:15):
And now I look back and think,what did I do?
But it was a great experience,and side note is that I had five
nights in the hospital for $800.
So that was.
It was like the Hampton Inn,but it was a good experience
there and the impact was nothingshort of incredible.
(33:38):
Drew was part of thesewidespread city campaigns of
showing the Jesus film inEastern Europe and plus Russia,
so it was 18 countries, and we'dsee, on average in a campaign,
(33:58):
10,000 people come to Christ.
So it was powerful stories ofthings that were happening even
while we were just home havingplain normal days.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Yeah, Plain normal days.
Was there ever a time you wereafraid?
Speaker 5 (34:12):
9-11 happened when we were there.
So our embassy was very quickto make sure that everybody was
safe and where they needed to,you know, stay put.
And it was interesting becauseour neighbors there, neighbors
there, nobody welcomed us withwarm muffins no one.
(34:34):
The homes are gated to thestreet, completely surrounded.
Nobody welcomed us with warmmuffins.
No one.
The homes are gated to thestreet, completely surrounded.
So they themselves don't trusteach other Again.
Post-communism they could nevertrust one another, ever.
And then, do we trust theAmericans moving?
Speaker 1 (34:57):
in.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Never.
But I remember our mostdifficult neighbor there came
across the night that or the daythat that happened and he stuck
out his hand and in his verybroken he knew two words, like
he just said, I'm sorry, stuckout his hand and that was just a
unique moment.
I would say we definitely werefearful at that point.
(35:19):
You know, told to stay low justas far as our physical safety,
um, but yeah, that was aninteresting time.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Yeah, especially with four kids in another country,
seeing your home countryattacked, um, you know the
unknowns with all that that.
I can imagine that was.
That was pretty stressful.
So you are there for sevenyears and you finally decide to
(35:51):
come back to the States.
Right, talk about that decisionand the challenges or the
excitement or how you feltduring that time.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
Yeah, I mean I um, yeah, I was very excited when we
made the decision to move back.
I was ready to be a little bitcloser to family and we had done
just enough little researchabout missionary kids that
(36:19):
having a home culture is reallyimportant, Whether it's right or
wrong.
We wanted them to be Americans,not necessarily Hungarians, and
so we just made, you know, wejust knew Nate was going to be
going into the fourth grade andso on.
We knew that we wanted theirprimary culture to be the
(36:43):
American culture and so we madethat decision.
You know, to come back at thatpoint, and I remember actually
vividly, like saying the Pledgeof Allegiance or singing the
Star-Spangled Banner or whateverare singing the Star Spangled
Banner or whatever, I just cried.
I just cried Now also theunique thing is like right
(37:10):
around 9-11,.
We all had that, didn't we?
We all had that sense.
And so we actually had missed ahuge part of American culture,
where you all connected onlevels we never did, and so we
were sensitive and moving backand understanding that about
where people were.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
but you know we we loved, we were very glad to be
back.
Speaker 5 (37:28):
I we put our boys in baseball.
You know, baseball, littleleague or whatever.
I was also the mom that criedwhen she saw her boys in uniform
first little uniforms andbecause those are just things
that I grew up with and I wantedthem to have.
That's what we do.
So there were some really sweettimes of our transition back
(37:54):
and very, very grateful.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Where did you move back to?
Speaker 5 (37:57):
Marietta Georgia.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Georgia.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
Georgia and I've been in the same house ever since 20
years, yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
So family's growing, you're back in the States,
life's pretty good, still kindof doing the same mission work
right in Marietta and Drew'sstill doing the same thing, yeah
.
So kind of talk about thatprogression as the kids are
growing, as life's you know, I'msure life's a lot faster back
here than it was over there sothat kind of transition and as
(38:27):
the kids are growing, and thenwhat life's like at that time in
your life.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
Yeah, I in 2007,.
My youngest got on the yellowschool bus.
Mind you, they had never seen ayellow school bus.
Right youngest got on theyellow school bus, mind you they
had never seen seen a yellowschool bus right when we first
moved back, didn't know what ablizzard was.
you know, dairy Queen, you knowall the things that you think
are normal.
But um, you know theytransition really fast, kids do.
(38:52):
And then when my youngest wentto to kindergarten, I remember
just at that bus stop, lookingback at my house, and it was,
you know, empty, you know theywere at school and I thought to
myself I'm not made to just sitinside and make meal plans and
(39:14):
clean which is great.
That's great.
But I sensed God wanted me todo something bigger and he had
been putting on my heart to leada neighborhood Bible study at
the time and, as God does in hisunique way, he introduced me to
(39:38):
who is now my director.
We're very good friends,co-leaders in what we do, but
her name is Debbie McGoldrickand she shared with me how she
(40:00):
had had a ministry for about 25years.
At the time when we met in herneighborhood, it wasn't cookie
cutter, you know, made intocertain wet looking things, but
it was just amazing to hear herstory of the different things
and the different people thatshe was able to connect with and
talk to and I was hooked.
I was like I think this isexactly what God has for me,
whatever that might look like inmy own neighborhood and again
(40:24):
like Jane that I mentioned atthe very beginning, she was very
kind, warm-hearted, gentle,again, a person that you enjoy.
I mean we are dearest offriends.
We co-do this what we do nowtogether, but at the time, it
(40:45):
was just such an answer toprayer that we wanted to do this
.
I often, when I think aboutspeaking or sharing, I think
about Debbie, and I think,sometimes I think of her, as
when, when you listen to her,it's like you're listening to a
a little kitten who's justsharing, like it's just the
(41:08):
sweetest conversation that wealways get to have with one
another and we yeah, it's justbeen great.
Yeah, relationship.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
So talk about how that that kind of progressed.
You know you hear that callingagain.
That you've heard many timesthroughout your life and you
meet her and talk about wherethat has has went.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
Well, just uh, the two of us um would meet together
and pray and we interacted witheach other because we were both
on staff with crew.
And just a few years after that, we had led a couple of
workshops in churches and werehaving conversations with people
(41:55):
about how they could do thatalso in their neighborhoods.
She received a vision of whatGod wanted to do worldwide and
that he just wanted to multiplythis whole mission to the world.
And so she and I, and there wasa team of other women, got
together and we prayed.
(42:16):
It was a weekend of prayer andwe prayed.
It was a weekend of prayer.
And out of that was birthed aministry called Neighbor Bible
Study to Go, so NBS to Go.
And it just began with a greatvision that God had given her.
(42:36):
And we just started putting theflesh on that vision.
Like what would that look like?
And we decided to start with awebsite.
And so we joke and we're likewell, we have two women who
don't own laptops thinking we'regoing to start a website.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
That's a good start okay.
Speaker 5 (42:54):
How not to start a good website, and so, anyway,
but we sensed that God was in itin ways that we never.
We just.
I love Debbie.
This is our marketing strategyPray, that's it.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
That's a good one.
Speaker 5 (43:13):
And take the next step, whatever it is.
So it's always been.
It started in prayer, prayerand the whole thing has been
about prayer and now, just fastforward 15 years we've been.
You know, the website's beenseen in 175 countries of the
world.
We have 13 Bible studies on ourwebsite that are easy to lead
(43:35):
with one person or in aneighborhood.
We've kind of expanded thevision just to include neighbor,
so we can have neighbors.
We are neighbors with everyone.
What does that look like?
Who's God calling you to havean impact in their life?
And so we have 13 Bible studiesin 55 languages on our website
now.
(43:55):
And then we began a partnershipwith YouVersion Bible App in
2020.
And they liked what we weredoing and we wanted to expand
there, and so we have over 110plans on YouVersion and a lot of
(44:21):
languages.
I think like 45 languages there, but we've had more than
500,000 subscriptions to the toit.
So you know, neverunderestimate two women without
laptops and a really big God whowants to accomplish far more
than you can ever ask or imagine.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Same with this podcast.
Speaker 5 (44:43):
Yeah, yeah.
Started in a basement with twomen with an idea.
Speaker 4 (44:49):
Yeah, and no microphone at the time.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
We had microphones, but they were nothing like this,
right, that's for sure.
So the U version Bible appthat's Craig Groeschel, right?
Yep, I just heard him on hispodcast talk about how that app
will, by the end of this year,will have been downloaded 1
billion times.
That's impressive.
It is To be a part of that.
(45:14):
That's amazing.
Yeah, we'll make sure that weshare a link to your website on
on this episode so that peoplecan can check that out and
hopefully continue to grow.
That that's amazing.
So so life's still going on.
You're, you're doing all thesethings.
The kids are growing.
At some point in time, lifecomes to a screeching halt.
(45:35):
Can you talk about that?
Speaker 5 (45:40):
Can you talk about that?
Yeah, I.
In 2016,.
My husband passed away and lifedid come to a halt.
It was very, very difficult, avery difficult time.
My children were 20, 18, 16,and 14, so two at home, two in
(46:06):
college and we just foundourselves.
I found myself in a season ofgrief and I wanted to wake up
with something other than griefto deal with, and it was just a
season of that, and those arejust real things you need to
walk through.
But through it again, cryingout to God for answers, so to
(46:34):
speak, I really felt like therewere two things that he gave me
during that time that reallysignificantly impacted my life,
and the first one was hispresence.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
His presence felt very real to me.
Again, he's near to thebrokenhearted.
Speaker 5 (46:58):
He wants to comfort, he wants to care, he wants to be
present, and that was verytangible to me, very tangible.
And the second thing was thepresence of friends and I loved
early on somebody shared with mea that an old Amish saying and
(47:19):
it's when you can't feel thepresence of God.
It'll come through his peoplefeel the presence of.
God, It'll come through hispeople, and that was really
powerful to me.
It's also been said and this isjust one of those really hard
things too is a widow or widowerwill experience like 72% of
(47:41):
their community will disappearor be gone and 28% will stay
around.
And I would say that's true,that was true.
It was hard, hard, but the 28,simply, I don't know how God
works math, but it became 1,000%.
(48:02):
You know that 28% stepped inand were just really amazing in
my life and again, I wouldn't bewho I am without walking
through that experience andhaving them with me.
One of my husband's name wasDrew.
Drew, one of his dear friends,and his wife just immediately
(48:27):
called what do you need?
What does your house need?
They were very instrumental inmaking sure everything in my
house was fine and okay.
A neighbor around the cornerhad us over for a meal once a
week for a year.
Wow, a year, that's a long time.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Yeah, it is, that's, amazing.
Speaker 5 (48:51):
But their presence made us not feel alone and empty
my next door neighbors quick tomow my grass, take out trash,
you know things like that.
I have a team of ministrypartners.
They were God's provision forme and still are Incredible
people.
I can't believe I get to knowand so that's just been an
(49:13):
amazing like again, like theworst day and best day, like
it's just so hard to walkthrough that and yet God's
provision and all of that hasbeen incredible through that?
Speaker 1 (49:27):
Have you heard that?
Speaker 5 (49:29):
I don't know if it's an illustration or it's just the
reality of a Clydesdale canpull 8,000 pounds, but two of
them together can pull 30,000.
So the power of people next toyou and and walking through life
gives you way more strengththat you can do on your own and
(49:51):
that it was just such a pictureof that time for me and my kids.
Speaker 1 (49:56):
They were very cared for in the time so thank you for
sharing that.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
I know it's.
I know it's difficult.
You know you lived your wholeentire life being a faithful
servant.
When all that happened, did youever step back and say God,
I've given you everything.
Why would you take this from me?
Speaker 5 (50:20):
I think that's just natural.
I think even we have.
It, doesn't matter what youhave missing or taken away, or
there's always a temptation ofthat.
Certainly, with being a servantwalking with Christ, with being
(50:46):
a servant walking with Christ,it comes on the faithful and the
unfaithful.
Speaker 3 (50:51):
Man, you're amazing.
I mean you are amazing.
You have an amazing story.
I can't imagine going throughthat, navigating that and still
(51:17):
continuing that faith as strongas you did, because not only
were you dealing with that loss,but you got four kids who lost
their dad.
How did they handle all?
Speaker 5 (51:22):
that Again back to each of them.
You know, like for my story toeach of us individually walk
through that on on their own.
And I would just say you know,the 16 and a 14 year old, uh, I
had gotten some really goodcounseling at the time and he,
he just kind of told me the bigthings to look for in their life
(51:45):
and to engage them every day atnight how was your day?
And for the first couple ofmonths, just ask the question
how are you doing?
Do you have any thoughts of dadtoday?
And the counselor taught me, ifthey answer more than yes or no
(52:08):
, then ask another question.
But if they answer just a simpleyes or no, then that was what
they needed for the day, andthen that was stretched out to
then it became once every fewdays, once a week.
But it was an interesting timeto process with them.
(52:29):
Of course I wish I, you know,in the time you just think, or
now I think, oh, I wish I wouldhave done this or wish I would
have done that.
We all have those moments ofthat and my older two were at
college.
I just didn't have my pulse onthem as well, just trusting that
they were in good places andcalled a few people just to make
(52:50):
sure that they were checked onand so on and so forth.
But yeah, there were somereally hard times.
Speaker 3 (52:59):
And I don't mean to ask that to put you on the spot
for that.
I ask you that because there'ssomebody out there in the middle
of it right now trying tofigure it out.
And, um, you know, and and lifewere most qualified to help the
person that we used to be orthe experiences that we went
(53:19):
through, and so, by you sharingthat, I hope that there's
someone out there, maybesomeone's listening, who knows
if, someone that can share howyou were able to get through
that time.
And that counseling is a goodthing, it's a very important and
, uh, and faith is the mostimportant thing.
But, and it's okay to questionit, right, we're human beings
(53:40):
and, and when, when tragedystrikes or when something
happens that just knocks us offour feet, it's okay to question.
So you get through that.
I'm sure you still feel itevery day.
It's a struggle every day, butyou keep taking that step right,
you keep doing what you'redoing and it's amazing.
(54:00):
It's amazing, thank you.
So we always end the podcastwith two final questions, and I
noticed on your sheet you gaveme this nice answers, but these
last two questions you didn'tanswer.
So I'm anxious to hear what.
Speaker 4 (54:18):
I'm anxious to hear what they are those were the two
that she was hoping youwouldn't get to, I guess so so
if you could have a conversationwith someone, living or
deceased, who would it be andwhy?
Speaker 5 (54:33):
Yeah, I didn't.
I didn't get to those.
Um.
A book that I've read recentlyis a book about her life.
(54:53):
Elizabeth Elliot and herhusband Jim was killed at the
hands of the people he wastrying to reach in his 20s.
He was 20 years old and theyhad just been married a year and
a half and Elizabeth goes on tolead this amazing life of
trusting God and having a greatinfluence where she was.
(55:15):
But she lived a very normal Imean life too, just hard things
as well and I would love I wouldlove to have a conversation
with her and just hear justpersonally and she she passed
away a few years ago, I think,and so I think she'd just be a
(55:39):
really powerful person.
I think it's really importantfor all of us to try to find
people who are 10 years ahead ofus and 20 years ahead of us and
sit down and have conversationsand just be asked the questions
like how'd you do this?
Or what's what do you?
What do you wish you knew 10years ago?
(56:00):
How would you encourage me inthis season?
We all have seasons.
How would you encourage me inthis season?
Speaker 3 (56:07):
We all have seasons and I think we just that's just
so important to try to findthose mentor type people, um, in
our lives.
So well, the old Chineseproverb if you want to know the
road ahead, ask the peoplecoming back.
Yeah, yeah, I think that'simportant, and I think it's
important to for the youngpeople especially, and even, you
know, adults, our age, um, youknow, don't be afraid to talk to
(56:28):
those, those older people andwho who have been through
through who knows what right,Whatever seasons of life that
they're in and whateverexperiences they face, because
everybody handles thingsdifferently and, um, it can give
you a different perspective onon life and how to handle a
situation that you might be in.
So I think that's a veryimportant point.
Speaker 1 (56:50):
So, last question.
Speaker 3 (56:53):
You've done great.
You're amazing.
You talked about the purringkitty cat.
I mean, I told you earlierthat's you.
It's a very soothing, verysoothing voice.
Are there any closing thoughts?
Words of wisdom, a Bible verse,anything when you're in those
challenging times that helps youget through, anything you can
(57:15):
think of.
Speaker 5 (57:17):
Well, one thing I also wanted to mention that I
really love is, um this wholeidea of of our hearts
flourishing and I think we are.
We all want those amazingInstagram days or the you know
to post something we all do.
We all think for some reasonthat our every day should be
(57:39):
like that, but it's not.
It's not.
Speaker 1 (57:43):
We might hopefully get one once a year or whatever
and I think I took the seminaryclasses.
Speaker 5 (57:53):
Mark Furtado just talked to us about flourishing,
and flourishing actually canhappen every day and it's
something that God has reallywired our hearts to want to
experience every day, and I lovethat God's Word talks about
that in Psalm 1.
He wants us to be like a treeplanted by streams of living
(58:18):
water.
Living water that's so powerful,and he wants us to live that
out every day, regardless ofwhat we're going through.
And I think too.
Just a note to say to youraudience as well.
I think even at the beginningof my story, if anyone finds
themselves in a place ofembarrassment or shame because
(58:39):
of somebody else's actions, myencouragement would be just to
run to run to god, run to himand also reach out.
Reach out to this podcast,reach out to somebody.
Somebody wants to help youthrough that time that you're
going through.
Whatever it is that you'refacing, any hurt or pain or
(59:00):
anything, don't do it alone.
It's very important to call umsomeone, and if you can't, if
there's no one to call, callhere.
Speaker 3 (59:09):
There you go.
Speaker 5 (59:10):
Call someone here.
Speaker 3 (59:11):
Yeah, that's great advice.
How can people learn more aboutyou?
I know you kind of talked aboutyour website.
Maybe give that again, but ifsomebody wants to reach out I
don't expect you to give yourcell phone number, but are you
on social media?
Can people find you that way ifthey want to just tell you?
Speaker 5 (59:28):
thank you, yeah, um, joan V Parsons on on Instagram
and, yes, the website again isnbs2gocom and I'm also available
on there If you just even ifyou email the contact us on
there.
That seems so you know outthere when you're on somebody's
(59:49):
website, do they ever look atthis?
Yes, we look at every one ofthem.
We get lots of people who'veconnected with us there.
Speaker 3 (59:57):
That's great, that's amazing.
Joan has reminded us today thatthe hardest moments in life
become the most defining.
Has reminded us today that thehardest moments in life become
the most defining If we'rewilling to learn, lean in and
trust God.
With our story, she's shown uswhat it means to be present, to
keep showing up for others, toconnect deeply, to listen well
(01:00:18):
and to believe in God, who isalways near the brokenhearted.
Her gentle strength is apowerful example that
flourishing isn't found inperfection but in faithfulness.
So wherever this finds youtoday, whether you're in a
season of doubt, waiting,transition or heartbreak,
remember this you are seen, youare loved, and God is not
(01:00:43):
finished with your story.
Thank you all for joining ustoday.
Joan again, thank you for yourtime.
We wish you safe travels homeand please remember to continue
to share our show.
There's someone out there whocan be impacted by Joan's story.
Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
So please share that and go out and be tempered.
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Cajing's Glass.
Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
Thanks, Allie.
Things like doors and windowsgo into making a house, but when
it's your home you expect morelike the great service and
selection you'll get fromCatering's Glass Final
replacement.
Windows from Catering's comewith a lifetime warranty,
including accidental glassbreakage replacement.
Also ask for custom showerdoors and many other products
and services.
Call 962-1636.
Locally owned, with localemployees for nearly 30 years.
Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
Kitchens Glass the clear choice.
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Catron's Glass.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Thanks, allie.
Things like doors and windowsgo into making a house, but when
it's your home you expect morelike the great service and
selection you'll get fromCatron's Glass Final replacement
.
Windows from Catron's come witha lifetime warranty, including
accidental glass breakagereplacement.
Also ask for custom showerdoors and many other products
and services.
Call 962-1636.
Locally owned, with localemployees for nearly 30 years.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Kitchen's best.
The clear choice.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we
explore the art of findingbalance in a chaotic world.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Join us as we delve into insightful conversations,
practical tips and inspiringstories to help you navigate
life's ups and downs with graceand resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
We're your hosts, dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr.
Let's embark on a journey tolive our best lives.
This is Be Tempered.
What's up everybody.
Welcome to the Be Temperedpodcast, episode number 56, Dan
56,.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
There we go.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
You got it right.
Good job, ben A for effort.
Today we're honored to sit downwith Joan Parsons, a woman
whose life has been shaped bydeep faith, incredible service
and a heart that's been testedand refined through seasons of
both great joy and great sorrow.
Joan grew up on a farm inPreble County, ohio, and through
(01:18):
her journey started in ruralAmerica.
It's taken her across the world, from ministry work in the deep
south to seven years inBudapest, hungary, and
eventually back to Georgia whereshe lives now.
Her story is one of heartbreakand healing, of learning to
listen deeply and love well, andof choosing faith in the face
(01:39):
of fear.
Joan's life is a powerfulreminder that God truly wastes
nothing, that even in ourbrokenness, he is near, weaving
every part of our story intosomething beautiful.
Whether you're grieving,searching for direction or
simply wondering if you matter,joan's story will remind you
that you're not alone.
(02:00):
Her words are powerful, notjust because of what she's lived
through, but because of thegrace and honesty with which she
tells it.
Joan, welcome to the BeTempered podcast.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Thanks for making the trek up from Georgia and you
were in Louisville dropping yourdaughter off.
You're going to go back toLouisville.
You're a world traveler,daughter off, you're going to go
back to louisville.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
You're, you're, you're a world traveler.
I have a card, too, that sayswelcome when you enter a state.
Do you have?
Speaker 3 (02:32):
yeah, oh, yeah, yeah yeah welcome to ohio.
I get a lot of welcomes on theway up from georgia, so yeah,
it's a friendly car yeah, that'sgreat well, it's good to have
you and I know we met I don'tknow, a month or so ago and had
a very powerful conversation.
Uh, learned a little bit aboutyou, you learned a little bit
(02:55):
about me.
We have a connection, um, in inthe Preble County area, the
farming community Um and um, butI I didn't know your story and
it's powerful and I'm excitedfor you to share it.
Excited for you to take thetime to come in here today.
So how we start every podcastis we like to start from the
(03:16):
beginning.
We want to know your story fromchildhood.
So if you would tell us aboutyour childhood growing up in
Preble County.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
I loved growing up in Preble County.
I'm the daughter of a farmer.
It's a multi-generationalworking farm still.
My dad is 87.
And my brother and his twochildren also work the farm now.
But it was great.
I you know, being raised inPreble County meant my life
(03:44):
revolved around farm and fun andmy four siblings I'm just one
of five and we just had a great,great childhood.
Mom and dad are incrediblepeople and still are.
Both are doing great and youknow, my life revolved around
(04:04):
4-H, honestly, and and so andjust life on the farm, and it
was a really great, great time.
I had three brothers and asister, so with three brothers
in a large farmhouse, prankswere common.
In fact, when I told my son oneof the one of the questions
that you had asked, um, he saidplease make sure you tell, to
(04:27):
tell about the time that youflew down the stairs.
So tell, my two brothers werestanding at the base of the
stairs and I was at the top ofmy bedroom and, just slightly
loud enough, my one brother saysto the other brother which the
three of us were the only oneshome.
Did you hear that?
That's all it took.
(04:50):
There were eight stairs andthen a set of like 10.
So I flew from the top to thelanding and then I flew 10
stairs down.
There were no stairs in betweenJust hit the landing and then
midway down I could see theirfaces like, oh no, how's she
going to land this?
And it was total prank and Iwas so mad.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Anyway, they laugh, they still laugh, it's still a
story that's told nearly everygathering.
That's great.
Sibling love, sibling love.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So what'd you do in 4-H?
What animals did you show?
Speaker 5 (05:28):
I I showed cattle and um lambs, but my specialty was
rabbits.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Rabbits oh boy.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
There's no skill with that, but that was your
specialty, that was my specialty.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
My kids are all involved in 4-H and I've always
you know they talked about thegirls talked about doing horses.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
I'm like we're not doing horses because you can't
eat them.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
So if you're going, to be on the Schmidt farm and
you're going to show an animal.
We've got to.
I want to come full circle.
You know that circle of life,so you learn all those things.
So, and rabbits is one of thosethings.
I said you can show rabbits butI'm not coming to watch because
that's a brutal show to watchWatching paint dry, yeah, but I
loved.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
My mom taught me to sew, so sewing in 4-H was kind
of my thing.
Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
That's great, so great childhood growing up.
Talk about school a little bit.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Mm-hmm Went to Eaton High School and do you want me
to talk about this college andsure Okay, Go right into that Um
well, this is, this is the partyou want me to sorry.
Just talk about my family, or?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
talk about it.
You can talk about going toschool, talk about your family.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
what life was like as you got older, um, and then
going into college, yeah, Um,you know it's interesting, we we
did have a very happy go luckychildhood, um, it was.
It was a really unique time forour family, um, but when I was
(06:57):
13, I found myself with um oneof my parents sitting me down
and saying they were going toget divorced, and that turned
life upside down.
And in Preble County years ago,when I was little, it seemed
that divorce was unheard of,which speaks sort of I mean
(07:19):
really honestly highly of therural towns, just that marriage
is honored, of the rural towns,just that marriage is honored,
and there's not that many or atthe time did not seem that many
people divorced.
And so for each of us, we allhad consequences of how that
played itself out and it was asad time for us as a family, and
(07:44):
I would say that that seasonbrought that, indeed that worst
day, but also brought thisincredible day in my life.
For me personally, just thehardship was just I was just
embarrassed no child, youwouldn't think that would be
kind of their emotion.
(08:04):
Just embarrassed no child, youwouldn't think that would be
kind of their emotion, but thatwas just where my heart was.
I was involved in sports againin 4-H, and so when those were
public moments, the parentsweren't sitting together, and so
those are just things aschildren that we absorb.
(08:25):
Nobody put that on me.
My parents are great.
Nobody put it on me.
It's just things that youabsorb.
But through that time it was atime I really cried out to God.
I really I had.
We were raised in a religioushome, but I was never fully sure
(08:48):
that God was with me, andsomewhere deep down I thought
that having divorced parentswould be a strike against me and
I don't know why Nobody told methat.
But it was the furthest thingfrom the truth and I love the
Bible verse.
(09:08):
This is just something that hasstayed with me through the
years.
It says the Lord is close tothe brokenhearted and he rescues
those whose spirits are crushed.
Even as a 13-year-old, itdoesn't matter your age.
God wants to be near, he isnear to the brokenhearted.
A 13-year-old, it doesn't matteryour age.
God wants to be near, he isnear to the brokenhearted.
And through my cries justcrying out to God for his
(09:29):
presence and answers, he broughtme somebody to clearly explain
to me that I could have arelationship with God that would
be permanent and I would neverhave to fear whether or not he
was there.
That if I would fully place myfaith in his work on the cross,
that he would come into my life,forgive me and never leave me.
(09:52):
Those were words of gold, andthat was the best day of my life
that I placed my faith inChrist.
He came into my life andpromised to never leave me to my
life and promised to neverleave me, and so, even though I,
you know, all children wish youknow at the moment that their
(10:18):
parents were divorced it stillbrought the most amazing day for
me and it really did change thetrajectory of my life at that
point because it gave me suchincredible peace and joy to know
that I would forever haveChrist in my life and that I
would go to heaven.
That was a powerful moment forme.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
That's a powerful story and I appreciate you being
vulnerable with that becausewhen we had the conversation you
kind of glossed over that alittle bit and, uh, we went back
and I said, uh, there wassomething there because I can
tell it and it's still to thisday I can.
I can see it in your eyes thatyou know it was a very impactful
time for you.
You talk about that powerfultransition from you know this,
(11:00):
this sorrow and, I'm sure,questioning what's going on and
why is this happening?
And and not understanding at apretty challenging age for any
young kid, but especially ayoung girl at 13,.
What, what was?
Was there a person or who, whowas it that made that switch for
you or told you that?
(11:22):
Is there a specific individual?
Speaker 5 (11:25):
It was a person who explained that to me, but I
don't know her name Really.
You just remember the impactthat it had.
I just remember the impact itwas profound, profound, and I
think we all have that deepdesire to know God.
(11:46):
He put that within us and whenwe cry out to him, he wants to
tell us that, just even on thispodcast, how your stories of
faith have been interwoven.
Your stories of faith have beeninterwoven.
(12:06):
People hear that and they nowknow they can respond to God and
they can have Christ in theirlife and have full forgiveness
and know that they have eternallife.
It's powerful.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
It is powerful.
How did your siblings take allthat their divorce?
Or the divorce, going throughthat same similar time.
I know there were differentages, but different ages were
interesting.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
My sister was in college and then I had an older
brother and then a brother thatwas just a couple of years older
and then one younger.
I think at the time you justwalk through it without
conversation.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
So you feel alone and you don't even know what your
emotions are doing, and each ofus have a story that we walked
through, um and it's, and it'ssomething that has brought us
together in many ways.
I love my siblings to this day.
(13:13):
We have a really tight bond andI think sometimes those hard,
messy places bond you togetherwith people that you never
thought would happen.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Yeah, that's where you find out who you are, who
they are.
You grow from it, you learnfrom it.
Yeah, that's powerful, verypowerful.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
One of the big things I take away.
Well, you used the wordforgiveness, and so my parents,
when they got divorced.
It was a long divorce, I thinkit was like I want to say, maybe
I was 19, and it went on untilmaybe I was 21, 22, because all
the courts and everybody wantingdifferent things.
So one of the hardest thingsfor me to overcome as a child of
(13:55):
the parents that were divorced,even though I was an adult
right, was trying to, you know,almost like one of your parents
trying to put you againstanother and you hear one side of
the story and another side ofthe story.
And so we actually got marriedwhen our parents were divorced,
and it was, you know, dadsitting on this side of the you
know of the reception hall, momsitting on this side of the
(14:15):
reception hall, and you know youcould cut the tension with a
knife.
I mean it was, and so that wasone of the hardest things for me
was forgiveness.
I mean it took a long time andit was God that that did it.
You know I'd go to church onSunday and I feel very connected
with the Lord.
Then all of a sudden it's likelet's preach a preaching about
this weekend.
Forgiveness Boom.
You don't think I'm talkingabout you, and it took a lot of
(14:40):
blows where I'm just like there,like daggone, he's talking to
me.
So when you said forgiveness,that's kind of what triggered in
my mind, though Even though Iwas, like I said, a grown adult,
you still deal with that.
I mean, those are the parentsthat you're a model in your
marriage.
After you think growing up thateverything's good, they're at
your sporting events, they'resporting you and all of a sudden
(15:01):
, even though you're an adult,and it's just like all of those,
those memories and everything,it's like, well, how many of
those were real?
What was going on behind?
the scenes and stuff that youthink about so yeah, I thought
that was kind of interesting.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
I think too, there's that whole, the whole.
I mean this is a story of ourlives in the area of forgiveness
is sometimes we think toourselves, okay.
I'm going to forgive, andthat's going to be it on that.
One thing Like this but then aweek later you're like oh wait,
but did I fully forgive?
Somebody explained it to me andjust said you know, forgiveness
(15:33):
is daily.
So whatever you remember thatday, or if there's a triggering
moment, just extend, start theday in that posture of
forgiveness and if it comes upduring the day.
But I think sometimes we gethard on ourselves because we
think, well, I didn't learn thatlesson.
I think it's a lifelong lessonthat we have the opportunity
(15:56):
because christ is within us andhe is constantly pulling us to
the father and being in a placeof forgiveness.
And he is constantly pulling usto the Father and being in a
place of forgiveness and it'sjust a powerful thing and it
releases that over you when youthink, oh my gosh, I have to.
Okay, maybe I really didn'tforgive.
Well, yes, you did, it's justsomething else was brought up
(16:18):
that you remembered, or anothertriggering moment that
forgiveness is necessary again.
And that's fine we need to be,we need to be gracious with
ourselves to walk through that.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
And just find that posture of just asking God, you
know, help me in that gap that Ihave right now, where I'm
trying to forgive.
I feel like I'm forgiven, butjust come over top me and just
help me really fully.
I mean, whenever I do that, Ifeel like it helps a lot.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Well, and I think for people who hold grudges who
don't forgive, well, and I thinkfor people who hold grudges who
don't forgive, you know, theonly person that's really
hurting is you.
You know you're the one holdingthat resentment or that anger
or whatever it is inside.
And until you recognize thatand you realize you know what we
all make mistakes, you knowthings happen in our lives and,
(17:00):
uh, we wrong people or theywrong us or whatever.
But when, when we hold that inand we don't forgive, it's not
hurting anybody but ourselves.
So that's that's very important.
Forgiveness is is very powerful.
So so you get through that timein your life.
You graduate high school kindof talk about that transition
from high school into college.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Um, I went so far away, down to Miami university
is what was next county overapproximately seven miles, um,
or maybe a little bit more, butuh, but I lived on campus and
and still was just a, still apart of a transition to just
moving away from um.
(17:43):
Well, I moved, you know, evenwhen I was 13 and was in the
farmhouse and and then I movedum to be with mom, and then
moving from mom down to college,it was, you know, it just is
different, it is just adifferent transition.
And again you find yourself inplaces in college where you're
(18:05):
trying to figure out who you areand what you're going to stand
for and what you really wantyour life to count for beyond
the education.
So who are you among the peopleyou're meeting with?
And I was very, very thankfulto the Lord to provide he
provided a woman her name.
(18:25):
I do know her name her name isShane Armstrong and she works
with a campus ministry there andI met her pretty early on in my
years at Miami and she was justa great mentor type person,
discipler of people, mentor typeperson, discipler of people,
(18:52):
and I would just say she wasprobably one that has taught me
just really a lifelong desire tolove others and care for others
.
She's a person that isgenuinely interested in who you
are and she taught me a lotabout the Bible and about
(19:15):
walking with God, but I feellike the thing I learned the
most with her was how to loveand care for others and just be
genuinely interested in somebodythat's sitting across the table
from you, because she did thatso much with me yeah because who
who is not self-absorbed at 18,19, 20, well, even today?
but it was just so interestingthat she would just sit and
(19:39):
listen and ask good questionsand that has just stayed with me
through through many many years, her her heart and getting to
know people.
Even to this, she's still doingwhat she was doing that many
years ago, 35 years ago, and sheis just it's really.
(20:02):
It just feels like you aremeeting with somebody that just
really I don't even know how todescribe it.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
She was put here for you.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
That's exactly how everyone feels.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Yeah, yeah, that's an amazing feeling when you find
someone like that, a mentor.
Um, I can see that in you.
I can see that she rubbed offon you and how you interact with
I mean, we've only met twice,right, but I get that feeling
from you Like right now you're,you're listening to me intently,
(20:35):
um, you're, you're sharing youramazing story and I can just
see the care and the compassion.
So she definitely had a majorimpact on you and you, in return
, are doing the same.
So college is a challengingtime.
You know, like you said, you'dbe pulled away from home.
You're meeting people from alldifferent walks of life.
(20:58):
Uh, there's all kinds ofdistractions, um, that that you
wouldn't have had, probably inPreble County, ohio, but when
you step on the campus at Oxford, there's all kinds of things
going on.
So you were able to find thatmentor.
Talk about what.
What was your, what were youstudying and what were you
wanting to do when you firststarted?
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Well, I was a math education major and, yeah, I
just found myself in that majorbecause at the time I was good
at it.
And then after you know, itjust seemed it's interesting how
God works but in our lives, themore I was around Jane and the
other staff when I graduatedMiami, I thought to myself if I
(21:49):
can help one person like they'vehelped me, that's what I want
to do.
And so I joined theInternational Ministry of Crew
or Campus Crusade.
At that time, that many yearsago, it was a very natural
decision for me to want to dothat.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
And through that process you met a young man.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Mm-hmm, Joined the staff of crew and met my husband
, Drew.
And yeah, we served at AuburnUniversity and Southern
Mississippi University.
And you mentioned Budapest.
We moved there in 1998.
That was eight yearspost-communist, and then we
(22:32):
moved back to Atlanta.
We had been there seven yearsand we moved back to Atlanta 20
years ago.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Now, you just glossed over pretty quickly a lot of
years.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
And countries.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yeah, years countries .
Speaker 3 (22:47):
So you went down to Auburn, you were down in the
South and what were you doingspecifically?
Speaker 5 (22:53):
Yeah, so on staff, with crew, it's our desire to
reach students with the gospel,it's our desire to reach
students with the gospel, and sowe would just be available on
campus, we would have meetings,we'd have prayer times, we'd
initiate with students, and thatwas our daily job was to meet
(23:14):
with students and share withanybody.
You know, students who wereinterested and wanted to grow in
their faith, or people whodidn't know Christ and wanted to
know the Lord.
So we would have lots of timeslots of, you know meeting with
students there.
So that's what we did full time.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Family.
Did you start having a family?
Speaker 5 (23:37):
Yeah, when we moved to Hattiesburg Mississippi.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
And I had.
Two of my boys were born there,did you?
Speaker 5 (23:41):
start having a family .
Yeah, when we moved toHattiesburg, mississippi, and I
had two of my boys were bornthere and it was great.
We had great years Two atAuburn and then five at Southern
Miss in Hattiesburg.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
And then you decide to go to another country.
Yes, that's a pretty big deal.
Talk about that decision.
What led you to that decision?
Speaker 5 (24:04):
and what that was like.
That was an interestingdecision.
Um, when Drew and I met, andjust in, just, even in our
initial conversations, we bothhad a heart for overseas.
Um, a side note is that I didmy student teaching in Wiesbaden
, germany, very different timenow, and we would often travel
(24:29):
to different places and we wouldwalk in these beautiful
cathedrals, which are incredible, but I would step out of the
cathedral and feel so emptybecause the cathedral was empty,
there was no one there and wewould go back to, you know,
(24:49):
germany, where we were staying,and I just thought who will
reach these people?
Who where?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
is.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
Europe.
They just it just felt veryempty and I just had a huge
heart and started praying forEurope and then Eastern Europe
at the time.
And when I met Drew, I knew hehad a heart for overseas.
So we sort of already had thisheart to go overseas.
(25:16):
After having Nate and Grant, um, you know life, I don't want to
say it's complicated, but tomove four people overseas is
different than moving two peopleoverseas and we still had this
huge heart.
But I was so hesitant, I wasvery you know, obviously nervous
(25:38):
, wanted to, um, I knew Drewwanted to go and he was being.
He was extremely just, patientand no expectations, and I knew
deep down I wanted to go.
But it just felt like therewere so many what ifs and what
would life look like with atwo-year-old?
and a one-year-old and aone-year-old and I remember I
(26:07):
would seek counsel or I wouldpray or I would listen to our
pastor or whatever.
It is just kind of looking forthat answer, just looking for
that answer.
And one day I just sat downwith my journal open and I just
said, Lord, I want to hear fromyou, I just need to hear from
you.
And it wasn't like a bigbooming voice in the sky, but it
was certainly an impression ofa question.
(26:28):
He just simply very kindlyasked if I have hundreds of
people for you to reach inEastern Europe, do you?
want to do that, and it wasn'tdemanding or commanding, it was
a question.
And the question was given tome like it was mine and I was
like, okay, that's exactly whatI needed to hear, I will, I'm
(26:48):
willing to go.
And you know, with that, drewwas you know, of course, excited
sold a car.
I sold our car, sold our house,packed up our earthly
belongings and put it in acontainer to ship it to Budapest
, hungary, and he was given agreat, he was given a great
(27:11):
opportunity to serve there, andthat was just a big part of it,
too, was just the opportunitythat he was given.
It was our headquarters, thatwas Cruz headquarters for all of
Eastern Europe.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (27:24):
And so he was asked to give direction to the showing
of the Jesus film all overEastern Europe.
That was post-communism, soeveryone was open to what even
the West was saying, so theywanted to hear.
They had not been taughtanything about the Bible or
about Christ.
(27:44):
So, anyway, the opportunity wasincredible that he was given
and to step in and, mind you, atthe time I think he was 30
years old, and so it was just ahuge step of faith and God met
us every step of the way.
So, and more I mean, I think hejust takes those servants who
(28:06):
know they can't really we don't,we didn't have the education or
the know-how or all thatanything to really accomplish
something so big.
And he's like I'm ready to usethis person who knows that they
know they can't really do thison their own.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
But they've got the faith to do it.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
The faith to do it and to take that step.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Yeah, that's amazing.
So you get over there.
I'll talk about that transition, because that had to be a
little different.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Well, of course.
I mean I think we had this joke.
Among there there was a smallmissionary community, which was
great, but we had this.
Many of the wives or moms wouldhave this like small sentence
to their husband if I hate ithere, can we go home?
And we'd say that the first weekalmost all of us because it was
(28:54):
a struggle, and there were nolarge stores, no spaghetti sauce
in a jar, I mean everything wasfrom scratch.
There's no Walmart and therewere no large stores, no
spaghetti sauce in a jar, I meaneverything was from scratch.
There's no Walmart, there's nolibrary of English books, I mean
.
So a two-year-old and aone-year-old in a country, just
(29:18):
every little convenience you canthink of was taken away and so
we just there were some reallyhard times and I would say I
landed in a season of anxietyand that, you know, for a farm
girl raised in such a casual oryou know whatever setting, to
land with such anxiety was soforeign to me and it was just
(29:40):
hard.
It was hard to walk through.
I'd wake up sometimes in themorning and Drew would say, are
you okay?
And I'd be like no, I'm not,I'm just, and anxiety is funny.
You can't really put yourfinger on what it is.
You just know that there's thisongoing anxious feeling and, as
(30:03):
God always does and you criesout to him, of course there were
many verses and things that hegave me which were very, very
reassuring, but he also gave meanother mom who was probably 10,
15 years older than me, margieMortensen.
I still even remember thisconversation to this day, but I
just said what do you do, how doyou face this, how do you deal
with this?
And she said I'm going to tellyou something that my
(30:25):
grandmother taught me.
And she said it's not overlycomplicated.
She just said if you can knowthat three things that you have
someone to love and someoneloves you, you and you have
something to look forward tothose will carry you through any
day.
And that's exactly what Ineeded.
(30:47):
It wasn't like this massive,like you know thing, and over
time my anxiety subsided.
It's not an overnight thingright anxiety doesn't do that.
It's a it's a daily renewing ofyour mind, reminding yourself
what's true.
And then those three thingswere really simple to me, but I
was able my mind, my heart, myemotions were able to kind of go
(31:11):
there.
And even if it's a simple littlething every day to look forward
to, I decided I'd take a walkwith the boys.
Every day was a walk to thelittle store and you know just
one little thing.
And then it was every week welooked forward to something, and
then once a month we looked, wetried to plan something that
we'd look forward to.
It just was a really simpletime, but something that was
(31:33):
really important.
I think it'd be.
Really it's a good thing foryour audience to to know too.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Uh, we and we talk about that a lot is just taking
that step.
You know when, when times aretough, when you're, you're,
you've got anxiety, you've gotstress.
You just made a humongous lifechanging event, you know, to go
from the comforts that you hadto a complete different country
(31:59):
where you, like you said youcouldn't go to the grocery store
.
You, you probably had to go tothe local market where they were
making the tomato sauce and anddoing all those things.
So very unique and and notsomething you were used to.
But through that conversation,you recognize that if I just
take that step every day, thateventually I'll start stacking
(32:22):
those wins and things will beokay.
And that's that's hard for a lotof people.
I think taking that step is thehardest part of that first step
.
So that's that's very powerful.
Thank you for sharing that.
So you've had a lot ofinfluences, um, through that
time.
But you didn't run home, youstayed there.
So so you stayed there.
(32:42):
So obviously you started tohave an impact, your family
started to have an impact andyour family grew.
So talk about that a little bit, as you were into those years
living over there.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
Well, we made a two year commitment and we stayed
seven, so that's how it goessometimes.
But, yeah, so Nate and Grantwere growing up and we wanted,
you know, we felt like ourfamily wasn't finished.
That's what I would just say.
And then Zach and Claire wereborn there, and that was crazy.
(33:15):
And now I look back and think,what did I do?
But it was a great experience,and side note is that I had five
nights in the hospital for $800.
So that was.
It was like the Hampton Inn,but it was a good experience
there and the impact was nothingshort of incredible.
(33:38):
Drew was part of thesewidespread city campaigns of
showing the Jesus film inEastern Europe and plus Russia,
so it was 18 countries, and we'dsee, on average in a campaign,
(33:58):
10,000 people come to Christ.
So it was powerful stories ofthings that were happening even
while we were just home havingplain normal days.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Yeah, Plain normal days.
Was there ever a time you wereafraid?
Speaker 5 (34:12):
9-11 happened when we were there.
So our embassy was very quickto make sure that everybody was
safe and where they needed to,you know, stay put.
And it was interesting becauseour neighbors there, neighbors
there, nobody welcomed us withwarm muffins no one.
(34:34):
The homes are gated to thestreet, completely surrounded.
Nobody welcomed us with warmmuffins.
No one.
The homes are gated to thestreet, completely surrounded.
So they themselves don't trusteach other Again.
Post-communism they could nevertrust one another, ever.
And then, do we trust theAmericans moving?
Speaker 1 (34:57):
in.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Never.
But I remember our mostdifficult neighbor there came
across the night that or the daythat that happened and he stuck
out his hand and in his verybroken he knew two words, like
he just said, I'm sorry, stuckout his hand and that was just a
unique moment.
I would say we definitely werefearful at that point.
(35:19):
You know, told to stay low justas far as our physical safety,
um, but yeah, that was aninteresting time.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Yeah, especially with four kids in another country,
seeing your home countryattacked, um, you know the
unknowns with all that that.
I can imagine that was.
That was pretty stressful.
So you are there for sevenyears and you finally decide to
(35:51):
come back to the States.
Right, talk about that decisionand the challenges or the
excitement or how you feltduring that time.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
Yeah, I mean I um, yeah, I was very excited when we
made the decision to move back.
I was ready to be a little bitcloser to family and we had done
just enough little researchabout missionary kids that
(36:19):
having a home culture is reallyimportant, Whether it's right or
wrong.
We wanted them to be Americans,not necessarily Hungarians, and
so we just made, you know, wejust knew Nate was going to be
going into the fourth grade andso on.
We knew that we wanted theirprimary culture to be the
(36:43):
American culture and so we madethat decision.
You know, to come back at thatpoint, and I remember actually
vividly, like saying the Pledgeof Allegiance or singing the
Star-Spangled Banner or whateverare singing the Star Spangled
Banner or whatever, I just cried.
I just cried Now also theunique thing is like right
(37:10):
around 9-11,.
We all had that, didn't we?
We all had that sense.
And so we actually had missed ahuge part of American culture,
where you all connected onlevels we never did, and so we
were sensitive and moving backand understanding that about
where people were.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
but you know we we loved, we were very glad to be
back.
Speaker 5 (37:28):
I we put our boys in baseball.
You know, baseball, littleleague or whatever.
I was also the mom that criedwhen she saw her boys in uniform
first little uniforms andbecause those are just things
that I grew up with and I wantedthem to have.
That's what we do.
So there were some really sweettimes of our transition back
(37:54):
and very, very grateful.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Where did you move back to?
Speaker 5 (37:57):
Marietta Georgia.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Georgia.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
Georgia and I've been in the same house ever since 20
years, yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
So family's growing, you're back in the States,
life's pretty good, still kindof doing the same mission work
right in Marietta and Drew'sstill doing the same thing, yeah
.
So kind of talk about thatprogression as the kids are
growing, as life's you know, I'msure life's a lot faster back
here than it was over there sothat kind of transition and as
(38:27):
the kids are growing, and thenwhat life's like at that time in
your life.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
Yeah, I in 2007,.
My youngest got on the yellowschool bus.
Mind you, they had never seen ayellow school bus.
Right youngest got on theyellow school bus, mind you they
had never seen seen a yellowschool bus right when we first
moved back, didn't know what ablizzard was.
you know, dairy Queen, you knowall the things that you think
are normal.
But um, you know theytransition really fast, kids do.
(38:52):
And then when my youngest wentto to kindergarten, I remember
just at that bus stop, lookingback at my house, and it was,
you know, empty, you know theywere at school and I thought to
myself I'm not made to just sitinside and make meal plans and
(39:14):
clean which is great.
That's great.
But I sensed God wanted me todo something bigger and he had
been putting on my heart to leada neighborhood Bible study at
the time and, as God does in hisunique way, he introduced me to
(39:38):
who is now my director.
We're very good friends,co-leaders in what we do, but
her name is Debbie McGoldrickand she shared with me how she
(40:00):
had had a ministry for about 25years.
At the time when we met in herneighborhood, it wasn't cookie
cutter, you know, made intocertain wet looking things, but
it was just amazing to hear herstory of the different things
and the different people thatshe was able to connect with and
talk to and I was hooked.
I was like I think this isexactly what God has for me,
whatever that might look like inmy own neighborhood and again
(40:24):
like Jane that I mentioned atthe very beginning, she was very
kind, warm-hearted, gentle,again, a person that you enjoy.
I mean we are dearest offriends.
We co-do this what we do nowtogether, but at the time, it
(40:45):
was just such an answer toprayer that we wanted to do this
.
I often, when I think aboutspeaking or sharing, I think
about Debbie, and I think,sometimes I think of her, as
when, when you listen to her,it's like you're listening to a
a little kitten who's justsharing, like it's just the
(41:08):
sweetest conversation that wealways get to have with one
another and we yeah, it's justbeen great.
Yeah, relationship.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
So talk about how that that kind of progressed.
You know you hear that callingagain.
That you've heard many timesthroughout your life and you
meet her and talk about wherethat has has went.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
Well, just uh, the two of us um would meet together
and pray and we interacted witheach other because we were both
on staff with crew.
And just a few years after that, we had led a couple of
workshops in churches and werehaving conversations with people
(41:55):
about how they could do thatalso in their neighborhoods.
She received a vision of whatGod wanted to do worldwide and
that he just wanted to multiplythis whole mission to the world.
And so she and I, and there wasa team of other women, got
together and we prayed.
(42:16):
It was a weekend of prayer andwe prayed.
It was a weekend of prayer.
And out of that was birthed aministry called Neighbor Bible
Study to Go, so NBS to Go.
And it just began with a greatvision that God had given her.
(42:36):
And we just started putting theflesh on that vision.
Like what would that look like?
And we decided to start with awebsite.
And so we joke and we're likewell, we have two women who
don't own laptops thinking we'regoing to start a website.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
That's a good start okay.
Speaker 5 (42:54):
How not to start a good website, and so, anyway,
but we sensed that God was in itin ways that we never.
We just.
I love Debbie.
This is our marketing strategyPray, that's it.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
That's a good one.
Speaker 5 (43:13):
And take the next step, whatever it is.
So it's always been.
It started in prayer, prayerand the whole thing has been
about prayer and now, just fastforward 15 years we've been.
You know, the website's beenseen in 175 countries of the
world.
We have 13 Bible studies on ourwebsite that are easy to lead
(43:35):
with one person or in aneighborhood.
We've kind of expanded thevision just to include neighbor,
so we can have neighbors.
We are neighbors with everyone.
What does that look like?
Who's God calling you to havean impact in their life?
And so we have 13 Bible studiesin 55 languages on our website
now.
(43:55):
And then we began a partnershipwith YouVersion Bible App in
2020.
And they liked what we weredoing and we wanted to expand
there, and so we have over 110plans on YouVersion and a lot of
(44:21):
languages.
I think like 45 languages there, but we've had more than
500,000 subscriptions to the toit.
So you know, neverunderestimate two women without
laptops and a really big God whowants to accomplish far more
than you can ever ask or imagine.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Same with this podcast.
Speaker 5 (44:43):
Yeah, yeah.
Started in a basement with twomen with an idea.
Speaker 4 (44:49):
Yeah, and no microphone at the time.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
We had microphones, but they were nothing like this,
right, that's for sure.
So the U version Bible appthat's Craig Groeschel, right?
Yep, I just heard him on hispodcast talk about how that app
will, by the end of this year,will have been downloaded 1
billion times.
That's impressive.
It is To be a part of that.
(45:14):
That's amazing.
Yeah, we'll make sure that weshare a link to your website on
on this episode so that peoplecan can check that out and
hopefully continue to grow.
That that's amazing.
So so life's still going on.
You're, you're doing all thesethings.
The kids are growing.
At some point in time, lifecomes to a screeching halt.
(45:35):
Can you talk about that?
Speaker 5 (45:40):
Can you talk about that?
Yeah, I.
In 2016,.
My husband passed away and lifedid come to a halt.
It was very, very difficult, avery difficult time.
My children were 20, 18, 16,and 14, so two at home, two in
(46:06):
college and we just foundourselves.
I found myself in a season ofgrief and I wanted to wake up
with something other than griefto deal with, and it was just a
season of that, and those arejust real things you need to
walk through.
But through it again, cryingout to God for answers, so to
(46:34):
speak, I really felt like therewere two things that he gave me
during that time that reallysignificantly impacted my life,
and the first one was hispresence.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
His presence felt very real to me.
Again, he's near to thebrokenhearted.
Speaker 5 (46:58):
He wants to comfort, he wants to care, he wants to be
present, and that was verytangible to me, very tangible.
And the second thing was thepresence of friends and I loved
early on somebody shared with mea that an old Amish saying and
(47:19):
it's when you can't feel thepresence of God.
It'll come through his peoplefeel the presence of.
God, It'll come through hispeople, and that was really
powerful to me.
It's also been said and this isjust one of those really hard
things too is a widow or widowerwill experience like 72% of
(47:41):
their community will disappearor be gone and 28% will stay
around.
And I would say that's true,that was true.
It was hard, hard, but the 28,simply, I don't know how God
works math, but it became 1,000%.
(48:02):
You know that 28% stepped inand were just really amazing in
my life and again, I wouldn't bewho I am without walking
through that experience andhaving them with me.
One of my husband's name wasDrew.
Drew, one of his dear friends,and his wife just immediately
(48:27):
called what do you need?
What does your house need?
They were very instrumental inmaking sure everything in my
house was fine and okay.
A neighbor around the cornerhad us over for a meal once a
week for a year.
Wow, a year, that's a long time.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Yeah, it is, that's, amazing.
Speaker 5 (48:51):
But their presence made us not feel alone and empty
my next door neighbors quick tomow my grass, take out trash,
you know things like that.
I have a team of ministrypartners.
They were God's provision forme and still are Incredible
people.
I can't believe I get to knowand so that's just been an
(49:13):
amazing like again, like theworst day and best day, like
it's just so hard to walkthrough that and yet God's
provision and all of that hasbeen incredible through that?
Speaker 1 (49:27):
Have you heard that?
Speaker 5 (49:29):
I don't know if it's an illustration or it's just the
reality of a Clydesdale canpull 8,000 pounds, but two of
them together can pull 30,000.
So the power of people next toyou and and walking through life
gives you way more strengththat you can do on your own and
(49:51):
that it was just such a pictureof that time for me and my kids.
Speaker 1 (49:56):
They were very cared for in the time so thank you for
sharing that.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
I know it's.
I know it's difficult.
You know you lived your wholeentire life being a faithful
servant.
When all that happened, did youever step back and say God,
I've given you everything.
Why would you take this from me?
Speaker 5 (50:20):
I think that's just natural.
I think even we have.
It, doesn't matter what youhave missing or taken away, or
there's always a temptation ofthat.
Certainly, with being a servantwalking with Christ, with being
(50:46):
a servant walking with Christ,it comes on the faithful and the
unfaithful.
Speaker 3 (50:51):
Man, you're amazing.
I mean you are amazing.
You have an amazing story.
I can't imagine going throughthat, navigating that and still
(51:17):
continuing that faith as strongas you did, because not only
were you dealing with that loss,but you got four kids who lost
their dad.
How did they handle all?
Speaker 5 (51:22):
that Again back to each of them.
You know, like for my story toeach of us individually walk
through that on on their own.
And I would just say you know,the 16 and a 14 year old, uh, I
had gotten some really goodcounseling at the time and he,
he just kind of told me the bigthings to look for in their life
(51:45):
and to engage them every day atnight how was your day?
And for the first couple ofmonths, just ask the question
how are you doing?
Do you have any thoughts of dadtoday?
And the counselor taught me, ifthey answer more than yes or no
(52:08):
, then ask another question.
But if they answer just a simpleyes or no, then that was what
they needed for the day, andthen that was stretched out to
then it became once every fewdays, once a week.
But it was an interesting timeto process with them.
(52:29):
Of course I wish I, you know,in the time you just think, or
now I think, oh, I wish I wouldhave done this or wish I would
have done that.
We all have those moments ofthat and my older two were at
college.
I just didn't have my pulse onthem as well, just trusting that
they were in good places andcalled a few people just to make
(52:50):
sure that they were checked onand so on and so forth.
But yeah, there were somereally hard times.
Speaker 3 (52:59):
And I don't mean to ask that to put you on the spot
for that.
I ask you that because there'ssomebody out there in the middle
of it right now trying tofigure it out.
And, um, you know, and and lifewere most qualified to help the
person that we used to be orthe experiences that we went
(53:19):
through, and so, by you sharingthat, I hope that there's
someone out there, maybesomeone's listening, who knows
if, someone that can share howyou were able to get through
that time.
And that counseling is a goodthing, it's a very important and
, uh, and faith is the mostimportant thing.
But, and it's okay to questionit, right, we're human beings
(53:40):
and, and when, when tragedystrikes or when something
happens that just knocks us offour feet, it's okay to question.
So you get through that.
I'm sure you still feel itevery day.
It's a struggle every day, butyou keep taking that step right,
you keep doing what you'redoing and it's amazing.
(54:00):
It's amazing, thank you.
So we always end the podcastwith two final questions, and I
noticed on your sheet you gaveme this nice answers, but these
last two questions you didn'tanswer.
So I'm anxious to hear what.
Speaker 4 (54:18):
I'm anxious to hear what they are those were the two
that she was hoping youwouldn't get to, I guess so so
if you could have a conversationwith someone, living or
deceased, who would it be andwhy?
Speaker 5 (54:33):
Yeah, I didn't.
I didn't get to those.
Um.
A book that I've read recentlyis a book about her life.
(54:53):
Elizabeth Elliot and herhusband Jim was killed at the
hands of the people he wastrying to reach in his 20s.
He was 20 years old and theyhad just been married a year and
a half and Elizabeth goes on tolead this amazing life of
trusting God and having a greatinfluence where she was.
(55:15):
But she lived a very normal Imean life too, just hard things
as well and I would love I wouldlove to have a conversation
with her and just hear justpersonally and she she passed
away a few years ago, I think,and so I think she'd just be a
(55:39):
really powerful person.
I think it's really importantfor all of us to try to find
people who are 10 years ahead ofus and 20 years ahead of us and
sit down and have conversationsand just be asked the questions
like how'd you do this?
Or what's what do you?
What do you wish you knew 10years ago?
(56:00):
How would you encourage me inthis season?
We all have seasons.
How would you encourage me inthis season?
Speaker 3 (56:07):
We all have seasons and I think we just that's just
so important to try to findthose mentor type people, um, in
our lives.
So well, the old Chineseproverb if you want to know the
road ahead, ask the peoplecoming back.
Yeah, yeah, I think that'simportant, and I think it's
important to for the youngpeople especially, and even, you
know, adults, our age, um, youknow, don't be afraid to talk to
(56:28):
those, those older people andwho who have been through
through who knows what right,Whatever seasons of life that
they're in and whateverexperiences they face, because
everybody handles thingsdifferently and, um, it can give
you a different perspective onon life and how to handle a
situation that you might be in.
So I think that's a veryimportant point.
Speaker 1 (56:50):
So, last question.
Speaker 3 (56:53):
You've done great.
You're amazing.
You talked about the purringkitty cat.
I mean, I told you earlierthat's you.
It's a very soothing, verysoothing voice.
Are there any closing thoughts?
Words of wisdom, a Bible verse,anything when you're in those
challenging times that helps youget through, anything you can
(57:15):
think of.
Speaker 5 (57:17):
Well, one thing I also wanted to mention that I
really love is, um this wholeidea of of our hearts
flourishing and I think we are.
We all want those amazingInstagram days or the you know
to post something we all do.
We all think for some reasonthat our every day should be
(57:39):
like that, but it's not.
It's not.
Speaker 1 (57:43):
We might hopefully get one once a year or whatever
and I think I took the seminaryclasses.
Speaker 5 (57:53):
Mark Furtado just talked to us about flourishing,
and flourishing actually canhappen every day and it's
something that God has reallywired our hearts to want to
experience every day, and I lovethat God's Word talks about
that in Psalm 1.
He wants us to be like a treeplanted by streams of living
(58:18):
water.
Living water that's so powerful,and he wants us to live that
out every day, regardless ofwhat we're going through.
And I think too.
Just a note to say to youraudience as well.
I think even at the beginningof my story, if anyone finds
themselves in a place ofembarrassment or shame because
(58:39):
of somebody else's actions, myencouragement would be just to
run to run to god, run to himand also reach out.
Reach out to this podcast,reach out to somebody.
Somebody wants to help youthrough that time that you're
going through.
Whatever it is that you'refacing, any hurt or pain or
(59:00):
anything, don't do it alone.
It's very important to call umsomeone, and if you can't, if
there's no one to call, callhere.
Speaker 3 (59:09):
There you go.
Speaker 5 (59:10):
Call someone here.
Speaker 3 (59:11):
Yeah, that's great advice.
How can people learn more aboutyou?
I know you kind of talked aboutyour website.
Maybe give that again, but ifsomebody wants to reach out I
don't expect you to give yourcell phone number, but are you
on social media?
Can people find you that way ifthey want to just tell you?
Speaker 5 (59:28):
thank you, yeah, um, joan V Parsons on on Instagram
and, yes, the website again isnbs2gocom and I'm also available
on there If you just even ifyou email the contact us on
there.
That seems so you know outthere when you're on somebody's
(59:49):
website, do they ever look atthis?
Yes, we look at every one ofthem.
We get lots of people who'veconnected with us there.
Speaker 3 (59:57):
That's great, that's amazing.
Joan has reminded us today thatthe hardest moments in life
become the most defining.
Has reminded us today that thehardest moments in life become
the most defining If we'rewilling to learn, lean in and
trust God.
With our story, she's shown uswhat it means to be present, to
keep showing up for others, toconnect deeply, to listen well
(01:00:18):
and to believe in God, who isalways near the brokenhearted.
Her gentle strength is apowerful example that
flourishing isn't found inperfection but in faithfulness.
So wherever this finds youtoday, whether you're in a
season of doubt, waiting,transition or heartbreak,
remember this you are seen, youare loved, and God is not
(01:00:43):
finished with your story.
Thank you all for joining ustoday.
Joan again, thank you for yourtime.
We wish you safe travels homeand please remember to continue
to share our show.
There's someone out there whocan be impacted by Joan's story.
Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
So please share that and go out and be tempered.
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Cajing's Glass.
Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
Thanks, Allie.
Things like doors and windowsgo into making a house, but when
it's your home you expect morelike the great service and
selection you'll get fromCatering's Glass Final
replacement.
Windows from Catering's comewith a lifetime warranty,
including accidental glassbreakage replacement.
Also ask for custom showerdoors and many other products
and services.
Call 962-1636.
Locally owned, with localemployees for nearly 30 years.
Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
Kitchens Glass the clear choice.
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