What does true freedom really look like in our daily lives? In this thought-provoking Independence Day episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr welcome guest Brian Ballenger for an intimate, wide-ranging exploration of how personal discipline—and the courage to confront our own weaknesses—shapes genuine independence.
Freedom, as the trio discovers, isn’t simply about doing whatever we want or escaping life’s responsibilities. Instead, it’s rooted in self‑regulated integrity: the quiet resolve to make and keep commitments to ourselves when nobody’s watching. Brian explains, “Habits are developed through routines, routines create patterns, and patterns become lifelong habits,” reminding us that our true character is revealed not by what we say, but by what we consistently do—moment by moment.
Dan, Ben, and Brian offer candid, often humorous stories about their personal journeys. Dan opens up about overcoming his ice cream addiction—joking, “I was like a crack addict, except it was pints of vanilla bean.” Ben shares how he turned down a lucrative job opportunity in Texas to maintain his children’s stability and connection. Brian draws from decades of experience guiding men toward purpose, illustrating how small daily disciplines can lay the foundation for a life marked by calm rather than chaos.
Their conversation reframes what freedom really is: the greatest threats to our independence often aren’t external, but internal—our own lack of discipline, aversion to discomfort, and misaligned priorities. It’s a powerful paradigm shift: recognizing that the oppressor we most often need to overcome lives in our own excuses and comfort zones.
They also challenge the popular idea of “work-life balance,” arguing instead for a mindset of alignment—making decisions that honor your deepest values in each moment, rather than trying to evenly distribute time and energy. This shift offers a more sustainable and meaningful approach to living in sync with what matters most.
Brian also brings a faith-based perspective on perseverance, drawing on his work at Brighter Path, Inc. and his leadership role at Whisenhunt Construction, Inc. in Richmond, Indiana. He emphasizes that discipline isn’t just a tool for self-improvement—it’s about stewardship of the life, talents, and relationships we’ve been entrusted with. As Brian powerfully states, “We have a fight before us every day—are we going to run from it, or realize that yes, it’s here, but by God’s grace, I’m going to run into it and overcome?”
Whether you're struggling with self-control, feeling stuck in harmful habits, or longing for a deeper sense of independence, this episode provides practical insights and encouragement to live with intentionality.
Explore more compelling conversations at betempered.com, and discover Brian Ballenger’s mission to help others build healthier, purpose-driven lives at Brighter Path, Inc. (www.brighterpathinc.com) and through his work at wcirichmond.com.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Catron's Glass.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Thanks, allie.
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(00:26):
Kitchen's best.
The clear choice.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we
explore the art of findingbalance in a chaotic world.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Join us as we delve into insightful conversations,
practical tips and inspiringstories to help you navigate
life's ups and downs with graceand resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
We're your hosts, dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr.
Let's embark on a journey tolive our best lives.
This is Be Tempered.
What's up everybody, welcome tothe Be Tempered podcast,
episode number.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
We got confused 60.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Huh 60.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Is it 60?
Yeah, it's 60.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'm 100% sure right.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Producer it's 60.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
It is it's 60.
Yeah, he's shaking his head.
You're good, ben, good job hey.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
My mind wasn't on that part yet.
I didn't even realize we'rerecording.
We've been recording for awhile.
We're deep in conversation, hey.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
first off I want to say happy Independence Day.
Hey, first off I want to sayhappy Independence Day and I
want to welcome in again ourfriend Brian Ballinger.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
The legend.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Yeah, the living legend.
You know, Brian, you and I hada conversation a week ago.
Seems like I think we gettogether once a month and have
coffee and have a very gooddiscussion, bouncing ideas and
issues, things we're dealingwith off of each other, and it's
super impactful for me and Iappreciate that, and you know we
met last week, right what's?
(01:51):
Today.
Tuesday.
Yeah we met last week and we'rekind of discussing things and
discussing the topic for thispodcast and you know we had such
a good conversation.
I said, hey, why don't you joinus?
Right, I think you've got a lotto offer on this, on this topic,
but what I want to start offtoday is is discussing
(02:12):
Independence Day and what itmeans to each of you guys
individually.
What it means to me, because Ithink there's a lot that we I
don't think I know, there's alot that I take for granted with
our freedoms in the countrythat we live in, and a lot that
many Americans take for granted.
So, in thinking about this andas you've given some thought,
(02:37):
Brian, what does IndependenceDay mean to you?
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Well, it means a lot of things to me, but I guess the
first thought I have isshedding ourselves from tyranny.
I think that's really whatmotivated the early settlers in
this country to be able to shedtyranny to have true freedom.
And I think back to my ancestors.
You know the very firstBallinger that came to this
(03:05):
county in the early 1800s.
He was in that war and canimagine the probably the fear,
but also imagine the excitementthat they had that for the first
time for most of them in theirlives, they would know true
freedom and they would be ableto build a life that they felt
like God was leading them to,and to be able to raise their
(03:27):
families.
And then, not knowing what doesthat mean for the next
generations?
I think that's something thatwe don't often think about is
the freedom I have today that Ienjoy?
How is that setting up the nextgeneration, for my children,
our grandchildren?
So you know it's not to be takenfor granted.
Obviously it didn't come free.
There were a lot of sacrifices.
(03:48):
But you know, thankfully we'rein a time now where we're not
really challenged.
You know we don't have foreignenemies on our soil.
I mean, I know they're here,but you know we don't challenge,
we're not confronted with thatevery day.
So what do we do on a dailybasis to ensure that we still
have freedom?
And I think that's really wherewe're probably going to dive
(04:10):
deeper into this podcast toreally help discover what am I
doing today to live as a freeman, and there's a lot to that.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
What do you think, Ben?
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Yeah well, 4th of July, there's two times that we
get together.
It's like spars, my side of thefamily, and it's christmas and
fourth of july.
Those are the only days thatyou know easter and all that we
don't get together, but thoseare the two days.
And it's because the importanceof fourth of july, just our
independence, um, you know it's,I know the war that you know
(04:43):
they had for our freedom and whywe celebrate Fourth of July.
But we reflect on the peoplethat served.
Some of my friends that I havethat went overseas and I have a
buddy that IEDs, that was hisjob and he lost a buddy right
there, in front of his eyes,right up the road.
One exploded.
Think of the stress that he did, how he came back and tried to,
(05:06):
you know, adapt back intocivilization, which is tough.
I mean, it's tough to go forbeing a soldier and then, coming
back to, you know, be a regularcitizen.
And so those are the sacrificesI just always think about and
try to, you know, have the boysreflect on and, you know, just
praise God that we live in thegreatest country in the world.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Yeah, I agree, you know, again, freedom for me, as
I was kind of reflecting on whatIndependence Day means for me,
you know, I've been fortunate togo to different countries that
have freedoms but don't have thefreedom that we have, the faith
(05:48):
, freedom to be able to practicewhatever religion, the ability
to criticize our politicians, topractice whatever political,
whether we're Republicans orDemocrats or independents.
You know to be able to practicethat and to be able to
(06:09):
criticize.
You know, um, that's obviouslysomething we take for granted,
and when you see things in othercountries, especially in
impoverished countries, wherepeople, uh, you know, live with
very, very little means, um, man, it really makes you reflect on
how good we have it.
(06:29):
And then you think about, likewhat you said, ben, you think
about these families who havemilitary members who paid the
ultimate sacrifice.
You know for our freedoms, youknow the selfless act to run,
run into the fight and to bewilling to give their life.
You know for our freedoms that,again, I think we take for
(06:51):
granted a lot.
And so you know for me, theability to, to, to practice my
faith, to be able to run abusiness how I want to run it,
not how somebody wants me to runit, the ability to have these
conversations, you know, to beopen and to be honest and to be
(07:12):
vulnerable.
You know that's the freedomsthat we enjoy.
But I'm so thankful for thosemilitary men and women who
continue to sacrifice on a dailybasis.
We just had this past week, youknow the um, the bunker busters
that were dropped on Iran, youknow, to destroy their, their
(07:32):
nuclear um things.
You know those, those men andwomen flew for 36 hours straight
.
36 hours straight going intosomething they didn't know if
they were going to be seen, ifthey were going to be fired upon
no idea.
I mean, I'm getting ready to goon a 24 hour hike.
(07:54):
I'm not sitting in a plane for36 hours going into a storm that
I don't know what's going tocome from it, that I could
essentially very easily lose mylife.
So I put that all intoperspective and I think, holy
cow you know what?
I'm going to do is nothingcompared to what you know, what
those men and women did for usyou know, essentially for our
(08:16):
freedom.
So you know, I hope everybodyout there, I hope you know
whatever Independence Day meansto you.
I hope at a minimum, you know aminimum.
You look to those men and womenwho serve those families who
lost loved ones, who paid theultimate sacrifice, and you just
say thank you, thank you forwhat you do, what your family
(08:39):
member did for us, because it'simportant and it's easy to take
that for granted for us.
So, and kind of staying alongthose lines, brian, you know you
and I talked about habits, wetalked about discipline, so
let's expand upon that unlessyou got something else.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Yeah, before we jump into that, because this is going
to be really important you saidsomething a moment ago that I
think is really important.
You said a soldier when facingthe enemy, they run into the
fight.
Now, we're not called to dothat today.
We're not soldiers in themilitary, but as men, we have a
(09:18):
fight before us every day and weshould be running into it.
So that's really what I want toget into today, and what I'm
excited about is sharing some ofour thoughts and our ideas.
Hopefully it helps andchallenges others to realize
that you do have a fight beforeyou every single day.
Are you going to run from it orare you going to realize that,
yes, it's here, but by God'sgrace or the strength that I'm
(09:42):
going to find within me, I'mgoing to go run into it and
overcome.
So really, I think that's whattoday's about.
So now we'll get back to yourquestion.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
So we talked about habits.
You know, you and I we met lastweek and we talked about habits
, we talked about discipline, wetalked about balance and we're
going to kind of touch on allthose things.
But I think everything startswith your habits.
So can you expand upon yourhabits, brian, and how you've
(10:15):
developed habits, maybe fromdiscipline, and how those two
kind of relate?
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Yeah, so we, we had a pretty in-depth conversation
last week and at some point Ithink I might've mentioned I
said, you know, we probablyshould have been recording this
right now, and that's when Ithink you mentioned well, well,
let's get together next week andyou can join us.
So you know, I think a lotabout our habits.
You know, when we think abouthow we would want to either
(10:46):
define ourselves or how we wantothers to perceive us.
I think we, as humans, wethat's not, that's not factual
at all, because I can tell you,if you don't know me, I can tell
(11:09):
you a lot of different thingsabout myself.
May or may not be true, but ifyou watch and observe me long
enough, you'll see what myhabits say about my character.
And you know, habits aredeveloped through routines.
Routines create patterns andthen those patterns obviously
become at times can be alifelong habit.
(11:30):
So we really need to thinkabout our daily lives, our daily
choices, the actions that wetake, remembering that those
develop habits and that's reallywhat defines us as a human
being.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Yeah that's a good point, but you've been on habits
, what?
What are some habits maybe youhave developed or that you try
to do on a daily basis?
You know to show people yourstrength and the and the kind of
man that you are.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Yeah, the first habit that I picked up was the four
to six, the workouts, four tosix and um, you know it's about
being intentional.
My main thing is I want to beknown as a family man.
Like that's my main goal, likeI want everybody to know that I
am there for my family.
So, the four to six you stillhave to take care of yourself,
right, when I go to work out,four or six am my family's
(12:23):
asleep.
I'm not losing family time tohelp make myself better.
And and then the other thing isyou say about, like, who you
want to be, right, well, 4 to 6,I feel like in order for you to
be the person that you want tobe, you have to develop habits
that make you into that man.
Right, and from 4 to 6 there'salmost nobody in the gym and I
feel like that's the time thatyou really develop that, um,
(12:45):
self-confidence.
You can really figure out whoyou are when there's nobody in
there with you and it's just youand you, and that's when you
really identify who you are.
And then you can set yourhabits up to you know, shape
yourself after that and you knowthat's one big habit.
And then another habit is theintentional, like what you're
talking about being present allthe time.
(13:05):
When I get home, like a lot ofpeople say, I'm the worst person
to text back, and I can tellyou exactly why I've noticed, oh
yeah.
As soon as I get home.
My phone is away from me, butyou know, that's a good thing, I
think.
Yeah, I mean that's one that Iused to always be, and Lisa used
(13:29):
to, and it's like, well, I have50, some missed messages, like
I keep getting texted and textedand texted, and then we have
the conversation about beingpresent and it's like those
messages can wait.
You know what I mean.
Like there I have to prioritizemy family, and that's one.
So that's, that's probably themost.
That's probably my favoritehabit that I picked up and it's
it's almost a discipline too.
You know, you hear, man, like Itexted you and you didn't text
me back and it's like it's notthat you're not important, but
like my whole life, like myfamily, my family, my faith,
(13:50):
those are the two things thatare important to me.
So if I don't get back to you,it's not that you're not that
important, it's that my familyis that important.
Like when I'm home, you know howeasy it is to just, you know,
when evie's in a little rant orsomething and talking, you know
to ignore that and just be likeyep, yep, yep and not really pay
attention and be present.
And I'm sitting thereresponding to text messages that
(14:10):
you know, most of the time Imean a lot of the text is a
group messages that don't.
You know, don't better my life,but it's like no, like I want
to be there because you know,you know how fast a four year
old grows up.
I want to remember every singlesecond that that four-year-old
says and all the things that hesays.
And so that's one thing that'sprobably my favorite habit I
picked up is just putting thephone aside and being like that
(14:32):
can wait until they go to bed,that can wait until tomorrow
morning, but I'm at home, likeI'm going to be at home.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah, I think too, the relationship between
discipline and habits.
I think you know a lot ofpeople when we talk about
discipline.
A lot of people and I may havefallen into that category 10, 15
, 20 years ago that disciplinewas something you were born with
(15:01):
, like athletic ability, likeintelligence.
Well, it's not.
Discipline is something youhave to work on every single day
and you can not have anydiscipline and have really bad
habits.
Or you can develop thatdiscipline that four to 6 AM
getting out of bed and going anddoing your workout or or your
(15:22):
walk or stretching, whatever itis that you do, your reading,
your prayer, um, develop thatdiscipline which will, in return
, develop good habits.
So there's a big relationshipbetween discipline and habits.
So can you talk about maybesomething new for you, brian,
where you maybe struggled withthought you didn't have time for
(15:45):
, and then you realize, no, youknow what, I can be more
disciplined to do this todevelop a good habit.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Right Before I answer that, you're talking a lot
about discipline, but one word Inoticed you didn't mention and
I'm kind of glad you didn't useit and it's the word motivation.
Let's dispel a myth aboutmotivation.
Motivation is only an idea,it's just a thought.
It doesn't move me to doanything right.
So really, where all of thishappens is with discipline.
(16:14):
It took a lot of discipline foryou to start working out at 4
am.
So to your question about fourmonths ago.
I've been going through a periodof time for about eight months
where really just searching,digging deep, feeling like, all
right, there's something missing, I have a lot to offer, I feel
(16:36):
like, but I'm not doing enough,I'm not fulfilling the life that
I feel like I'm called to be.
It's not that I've foundanything really wrong,
necessarily in the sense that,all right, I need to get rid of
this, I need to shed that habitor whatever, but I'm not
(16:56):
spending all of my time that Ihave access to, every day to its
fullest.
So about four months ago andthis kind of challenged me, I've
gotten into the habit the lastseveral years that you know I
slow to wake up, you know, maybeI hit the snooze once or twice
feels really good, takes meabout an hour to wake up, and so
(17:19):
this thought occurred to me youknow you've got a lot of time
in the day that you're not usingwell, so, um, I think I was
talking to you and you I thinkthis is the idea that kind of
sowed the seed it was the 75hard and realizing all right,
it's, it's time to get upearlier, let's get get a walk in
(17:40):
.
And my first thought was Idon't know if I'm going to be
able to do this.
Can I really get up at 10 to 5,be out the door by 5?
But you know, what I found outis that first morning alarm went
off and I knew so I had this.
Yeah, there was some motivationthere.
Motivation in itself is notwrong, so I had the idea, but
(18:03):
you have to act on it.
I didn't lay there in bed, Ididn't hit snooze, I just
immediately got up, got dressed,out the door.
This is back in early March.
It was pretty, pretty cold out,but it felt amazing and I've
I've only missed maybe two orthree, maybe two days in almost
four months, so that that soundslike such a small,
(18:23):
insignificant thing, but it'snot, because it's helped me
further develop my personalself-discipline to moderate my
own time, and what I've gainedfrom that it's not just good for
my body, good for my high bloodpressure or whatever, but
mentally, spiritually, it'sfeeding my soul.
(18:43):
But mentally, spiritually, it'sfeeding my soul.
There's a lot of times whereit's just me and God.
I feel like I can have moretime to pray, think about other
people more often, something Iwant to share with you.
I think it was two weeks ago, itwas a Monday morning.
I was headed out partway downthe drive and it's pitch black
(19:06):
out.
I can't see anything, but justhad this feeling like man, it's
going to cut loose on with somerain.
So I turned back and I got myraincoat and I got about a mile
and a half out and was turningback and it started sprinkling
and then all of a sudden, I mean, the skies opened up and it's
just an absolute downpour and Iloved it.
It was amazing.
I'm getting soaked other than,you know, kind of dry with the
(19:27):
raincoat, but it didn't mattertoo much.
It was one of those justabsolute downpours and I was
walking along and of course youcan't see it, but up to my right
I could hear this bird justsinging its little heart out and
that was such an amazing momentfor me that in the midst of
that storm, that bird had a songto sing and I felt like that
(19:48):
was just for me.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
It was an amazing moment that you know, we talked
about that last week and and I Ishare a similar story because I
also do the walk.
You you know I typically do mywalk, my gratitude walk at the
end of the day, because you knowthe days for us men and for
(20:10):
many people out there listeningare very chaotic Right, and to
be able to take 45 minutes to anhour, and I've said it numerous
times, Hayes Arboretum here inRichmond is like my little
heaven on earth.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
It's your sanctuary.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
And it's not because it's beautiful and it is, it is
beautiful, um, it's becausethat's where I have grown the
most in the last three years.
And it's not because I'vegotten amazing workouts there.
I have, um, but more often thannot it's because that's allowed
(20:45):
me to decompress the day, tojust open my mind to whatever
comes.
And you know, there, I don'tknow.
A month ago you know I was Iwas asked to give the speech at
my former high school forgraduation, which was an amazing
honor and I was well prepared,ready to go.
(21:09):
And that was on a Saturday andmy best friend's daughter had
her graduation party.
We went to the graduation partyin the afternoon.
I was supposed to be at thegraduation at 630.
I'm ready, I feel good, and Igo to the at the at the
graduation at six 30,.
I'm ready, you know, I feelgood and I go to the graduation
party, see a bunch of friendsand great conversation and my
(21:29):
mentors there.
And then we started talking andhe was asking you know, are you
, are you ready?
You feel good, you know, tellme, tell me what you're going to
talk about, tell me what yourspeech is about.
And so I started talking andand he was just having natural
conversation.
He's given many speeches andthen many talks and and I know
he didn't mean to place anydoubt in my mind, but he did and
(21:53):
here I am, it's three o'clockin the afternoon.
I got three hours to go beforeI go up and speak to, you know,
these students and theirfamilies.
And, man, I start secondguessing myself.
I mean I'm just like holy cow,like I need to change everything
that I worked on for the pastfive months.
And luckily I drove separatefrom my wife and kids and I,
(22:18):
because I knew I needed to gofor a walk and I went to to the
Arboretum and I just startedpraying and saying all right,
god, I need you right now,because I am full of anxiety,
I'm full of doubt, like I don'tknow how I'm going to do this.
And I went and I walked for anhour and it was amazing how,
(22:42):
when I went into the woods, howI felt and when I came out, I
was just at peace.
I was at peace because I knewagain that he he didn't, he
didn't mean to place any, he wasjust bouncing ideas off of me
which I probably should havewent to him four months earlier,
maybe to have that conversation, um, but when I walked out of
(23:04):
that Arboretum I was at peaceand I was.
I was thankful, and that's allthat kept coming to my mind was
you put in the work, be thankfulfor the opportunity that that
the school has given you to talkto these kids?
And when I, when I went therethat evening, I was I mean, I
don't, I don't know any videosof me, but I felt like I had a
(23:26):
smile on my face the whole timebecause I was so grateful.
I sat up on that stage and Ilooked at all those kids and all
those people, a lot of whom Iknew and seen in many years, but
I was just so grateful for thatopportunity.
So, just from that transitionof I'm ready, holy cow, I don't
think I'm ready to going throughand and and doing that walk,
(23:49):
which I had done I don't knowhundreds of times in the past
couple of years in the same spotand walk in the same paths in
the same area, it just thathabit that I had developed, from
the discipline that I hadstarted, helped me to get
through a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,what could have been a
challenging time and, and youknow, I feel it was, it was
successful.
So you know, but because ofthat discipline and because of
(24:12):
building those good habits, um,that saved me in that moment.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
I feel like nature does that so much for me, like
anytime, like you know, you talkabout the birds singing or you
just being out in the woods, andI mean anytime you're just able
to sit back and just look andjust think like man, like God
created all this, and then youput that and you know, you see
the birds flying, the birdssinging.
The other day, evie and I werewalking and we see a woodpecker
that's.
You know, they're usually highin the tree and you can barely
(24:39):
see.
Well, this guy was right on theground at the base of the tree
where we were both, I mean, wesat and I bet we watched him for
five, 10 minutes.
Just stood there and watch andit's just amazing, I mean.
But whenever you think about,like, how big God is, you know
what I mean, and then you bringit back to how small our
problems are.
Yeah, I don't know, I just feellike so many times that's
that's what I need to put stuffin perspective.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
So yeah, and that's where I'm at right now for this
coming weekend.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
You're going to have a lot of that, a lot of doubt in
my mind.
How do you build habits whenlife feels chaotic?
Because in the positions thatwe're in and the jobs that we're
in in the construction field,there's a lot of chaos, and I
think how you handle that isessential in leadership to your
team, um, to your customer.
(25:33):
So talk about that when, whenthings are coming at you I just
had it on this last Friday justconstant, like oh my gosh just
bang, bang, bang left punch,uppercut.
You know knockout punch.
How do you?
What habits can you build toget you through what feels like
(25:55):
chaos?
Speaker 5 (25:56):
I think it's important to remain calm, you
know, have a presence about you,making sure that you don't
allow others around you to feedoff of any anxiety that you
might have, and you just simplyanalyze.
You know we have thesesituations, we have these
problems, but what's most urgentin the moment?
It's easy to get overwhelmedwith everything in totality, but
(26:20):
if you break it down, justsimply look at what's most
urgent that I need to take careof right now, at this very
moment, and then you just startprioritizing and going through
the list, you know, taking thatwhich is most urgent first and,
again, not allowing it tooverwhelm you.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
You stole my answer.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
So it must have been a good answer.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
I mean.
Speaker 4 (26:40):
I've been the right answer.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah, I mean.
I write down you know, I, Iit's kind of like triage, right?
Speaker 5 (26:47):
I mean, you have something's bleeding, you go
there first.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
That's right, yeah, and it and staying calm is so
important, so important becauseyou're right, because you, we've
all been around people who getreally excited.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Yeah, and then that, what's that do?
It amps everybody around them.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
We've got plenty of people in our organization that
get really excited about thingsand just take a breath.
It's going to be okay.
Stay calm.
This is not a life or deathsituation.
Um, but that's exactly.
You know I, I've got it righthere.
Build the habit of remainingcalm in all circumstances.
Take deep breaths.
(27:24):
It'll be okay so that that's.
That's that's what I feel whenthings get chaotic.
What about you, ben?
I just had to just keep itsmall.
That's that's what I feel whenthings get chaotic.
What about you, ben?
Speaker 4 (27:30):
I just had to just keep it small, like start
ridiculously small.
And I feel like it's funnybecause the way that I read the
kind of the notes of what wewere talking about and then the
way you just put it and puts itin another perspective.
Cause, like a year and a halfago, you know, like I came in
the construction industry, greenis the green can get, you know.
So that's one thing that Irealized.
I mean I can.
The past year and a half hasbeen really chaotic because you
(27:53):
know the podcast and then doingthis, the construction, like new
to everything, and it's justyou gotta keep it small, like
just try to just try to keep itsmall and try to every day just
try to win the, you know, winthe little small things.
And so I feel like the habit isjust keep it small, keeping a
perspective.
There's an issue, you know,like you guys said, prioritize
it, but just kind of keep itsmall to where you can handle
(28:17):
this situation.
If you look at everything in agiant scheme of things, you know
it's a huge wave right.
But then you see that first waveyou got to get over.
Okay, now we're there.
Now it's just a little bit moreand a little bit more.
So I just feel like you cankeep it small and chaotic and
you know, the habits are nowhere, the goal's at right, even if
not in construction, but like ifyou're trying to do weight loss
and and you're like, okay, well, I got to fix my diet, I got to
get my workouts, now I got todo this, I got to do this, and
(28:39):
you just bombard yourself withall this stuff.
Are you going to be successful?
No, okay, now that we got this,let's get the next wave.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
In that moment, how much time and energy should we
put on the things that we can'tcontrol?
Because in in chaos, a lot ofthings we can't control.
So, we should give zero energyto that.
Yeah, very little, very littlethought.
That's really hard, I know, somaybe that answer was pointed
back at me because I'm kind of acontrol freak, but I honestly I
(29:11):
try not to control things thatwe have no control over.
That's a distraction.
It's not going to allow you toreally focus on the problem at
hand and deal with that, whichis really urgent.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, we just talked about it earlier.
You know about what I've gotcoming up on on Saturday, which
I'll be by the time this airs.
I'll be through my, my 24 hourtrack.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
But hopefully this is the last hurrah.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
I'm going to build you up, dan, you are going to do
it.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Oh, I know I'm going to do it, I, but I doubt right.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
Um, what are you going to suffer in the meantime,
right?
Speaker 3 (29:53):
That's right, you know.
I know suffering is coming.
I know pain is coming, I knowmy mind.
Speaker 5 (29:59):
So if that's the case and you know that's true, and
I'm, I know it's true and have alittle bit of an idea of what
you're about to go through, sowhy do it?
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Because I want to see where I'm at.
I want to push myself to thenext level.
That's why, but it's still,there's still anxiety.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
So would you say, you don't really know what the next
level looks like and that's whyyou're doing it.
That's correct.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
You know I, I've been and again, I think, if there's
anybody out there new listeningwhat I'm doing is I'm going on.
It's called the Rite of Passage.
It's with the Three of SevenProject, which is a group of men
down in Rome, Georgia, soNorthwest Georgia, north of
Atlanta, One of which is aretired Navy SEAL, Chad Wright,
(30:46):
and this R.
This rite of passage is 24hours, nonstop movement.
Uh, we're going to be hiking.
I got to carry my own pack, my,my water, my snacks, uh, any
other, you know, clothing that Imay need to change into all
that stuff I've been trainingfor, but there's no stopping.
Um, what I can't control.
(31:10):
I can't control the weather.
You know it's going to be closeto a hundred degrees, 70%
humidity.
Um, I can somewhat control mymind.
I can control my mind, but Idon't know what limits I'm going
to be pushed to.
Um, I've put in the work, so Ifeel like my body is ready, but
(31:31):
you still have that doubt Is itreally ready?
You know, I don't know.
I'm going to find out, buteverything I've done to this
point to train for this, I'vedone pretty much by myself.
I'm going to be with 15 otherpeople.
We're going to be in teams.
I'm going to meet, hopefully,like-minded people, maybe crazy
(31:52):
as me to do something like this,and I'm excited for that.
I'm excited to be able to feedoff of them.
Hopefully they can feed off ofme.
There's going to be times whenI'm sure we're going to need
each other, but I'm stillanxious, excited.
You know all those emotions youtalked about when you, you know
you talked about yourgrandfather fighting in a war.
(32:15):
You know the not knowing.
You know pain is coming.
You know suffering is comingand, in his instance, potential
death.
But what if you get past that?
What is next?
Speaker 5 (32:28):
That's what I'm doing .
It's the hope of somethingbetter.
That's correct.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
What am I going to learn from this?
Who am I going to meet that Imay have never met in my life
without doing something likethis.
So that's why I'm doing it.
I'm doing it to bust throughthat wall wherever it may be.
So I don't know where we gotoff or where I got off.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
I don't know, but that's what this was the
conversation we were havingbefore when, all of a sudden,
you decided to start the podcast, like right away.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
But what I was about to say I'm sure Kevin will edit
that out.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
But in my mind, my main thing that I was thinking
of is, for me, like knowing you,knowing the type of person you
are, like to hear you say theword that you have doubt.
It's like man, like I have zerodoubt that you're going to do
this, like just knowing A yourmindset, like B the work you put
into it, and I feel like youhave, you've been training alone
(33:21):
, you know this whole time,you've been doing everything
alone and then that you're goingto have somebody like you're
going to have people there to gowith.
Yeah, and I guarantee, if oneperson finishes that like,
you're going to be right therewith them, like I have zero
doubt.
Speaker 5 (33:35):
Something you just said, ben, brings to mind the
thought of integrity.
You know, you, or Dan, I thinkyou're showing the highest level
of personal integrity.
Yeah, you know cause if you doit alone.
You know I think we're going toget into integrity, probably a
little later here, but or maybethis will lead into it.
You know, it's easier to haveintegrity with other people.
(34:00):
You know my coworkers, my wife,my family, my church family.
With others, it's pretty easyfor me to have integrity because
they're watching, they're goingto see the results.
But what about with myself, thisself-integrity, and I want to
tie this into freedom.
(34:20):
We've got to come back tofreedom a little bit later.
But when you're alone, that'swhen you're really questioned,
that's when you reallydemonstrate.
Am I a person of integrity ornot?
And for today's segment, I'mnot even talking about integrity
that we have with others.
I think most people that arelistening to this podcast today,
they probably have a very highlevel of integrity with others.
(34:44):
But what I want to look at isourselves.
Do I have a high level ofself-integrity, that I hold
myself to a very high standard?
And then, when no one else iswatching, what am I doing?
Does it, does it meet up withthe habits that I want to
project, and does that tellsomeone else?
At the end of the day, that'swho that person is.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Yeah, that's that's powerful.
I mean yeah, that's that'spowerful.
I mean I, you know.
The other thing that I hopethat comes from me going through
this and doing this is I hopethat it inspires others and not
not inspires them to go out anddo what I'm doing, but maybe
(35:30):
inspires them to get off thecouch, maybe inspires them to
take that step, maybe inspiresthem to reach out to a son or a
daughter that they haven'ttalked to in a long time, a
family member, a brother or asister that maybe they have a
severed relationship forwhatever reason.
(35:51):
I'm not doing it to motivate you.
I'm not doing it so that youcan start developing a
discipline.
I'm doing it because I hopethat you find some inspiration
that inspires you to helpsomeone else.
That's the whole reason thatwe're doing this podcast.
That's the whole reason thatI'm going to go do the rite of
(36:12):
passage and put my, my mind andmy body through pain is because
I hope to.
My whole goal is to help makeour community in this world a
better place, and if I can do itby putting myself through a
little bit of pain and talkingabout it, I mean I'm just a farm
(36:34):
kid from Preble County, ohio.
Three years ago I was almost300 pounds.
I have five kids.
We got 20 employees.
Life is can be very chaotic,but if I can do it, there is no
reason you can't do it.
Speaker 5 (36:52):
So everything you just said I'll kind of summarize
no more excuses, that's right,and I'm not going to allow the
ceiling that I have today defineme.
I'm going to break through thatceiling.
That broken ceiling creates thenext new floor.
It does.
And that's that's what I'mexcited that can take shape and
(37:12):
form in a lot of different ways.
Just like you said, maybesomebody doesn't go out and do a
24 hour hike, but maybe theyuncover something in their life
that you know has beendebilitating.
You know, like you mentionedwith maybe there's family
members that they don't have arelationship with, or maybe
there's bad habits that need tobe broken, disorders.
(37:35):
So it's time to not settle oraccept excuses.
Break through that.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
That's right, yeah, so with that, let's talk about
balance.
Do you believe in balance, oris it just something that people
say to make them feel better?
Speaker 5 (37:58):
All right.
Well, this, this, I think,could become a pretty deep
subject, so I think for today,we'll maybe keep it a little
more on the surface.
I don't remember when this ideaof work-life balance came to be
.
I started hearing this a fewyears ago and I kind of jumped
on that bandwagon.
(38:18):
It sounded good, and I'vetalked to several different
people and I look back now and,really, what I had to offer them
, I don't think it helped themat all.
Maybe it might've even made thematter even worse.
Because when we think aboutwork-life balance and what that
means, it's well, okay, in onearea of your life you have work,
and if you're highly motivated,if you're very passionate about
(38:41):
that work, it can become veryconsuming, and to a degree it
should be.
We should be very passionate,we should put a lot of effort
into our occupation.
And then when you think about,well, how does that impact my
family?
Well, you can have such animbalance that one area of your
life or any other habit it couldbe your exercise, it could be
(39:05):
anything that you love to do,that you're passionate about it
can become a problem in that ittakes so much time away from
your family.
So that's that whole concept ofwork-life balance.
How do you make sure thatyou're not impacting one in a
very negative sense just touphold the other?
I've since had a differentthought or different idea about
(39:29):
that.
You know, we need alignment inour lives.
Balance is one thing, but if weare not aligned, we all have
different things in our livesthat define us, whether it's by
our habits or our occupations,the things that we do every day,
habitually, repetitively.
That defines us.
(39:50):
So we need to have alignment inall of those areas.
I'll take work, for example.
We might work 40, 50, 60, somepeople 70 hours a week.
Well, there's no way you'regoing to be able to devote that
same amount of time to the otherareas of your life.
And and I in the past I've kindof, I've almost, brutalized
(40:13):
myself with guilt because I putso much effort into that one
aspect of my life Well then,that means I'm taking away from
all the other areas of my life.
So there's not balance.
So I I I've dealt with a lot ofguilt over that, but what we
really should be focusing on istheir alignment and what I'm
doing right now.
(40:34):
So obviously I'm face-to-facewith you too.
Am I present?
Am I totally intentional andfocused on on the moment.
Yeah, later today I've gotother things that I'll be doing
and I need to be intent andfocused and deliberate in those
moments.
So alignment to me is what I'mdoing today.
(40:55):
Is it what is critical for themoment, and am I doing it to the
very best that I can in a waythat impacts another person?
And to me, alignment reallydoesn't have a whole lot to do
with me.
It's taking my gifts, mytalents and my abilities, and
how do I transfer that energy toothers so that they're lifted
(41:17):
up?
Speaker 3 (41:18):
That's a good point.
What about you, Ben?
What do you think about balance?
Speaker 4 (41:21):
I had alignment as well, actually about just
alignment as the alignment ofyour priorities.
I feel like which is differentthan the balance, like the work
life balance.
You know, as soon as you gethome, you turn off work.
Well, that's not necessarilytrue, cause there's times where
you work, you know, kids go tobed.
Now it's time I can work again,you know, um.
(41:42):
But I feel like it kind of thesame thing as alignment, just in
a different kind of view, whereyou know it's priorities and as
long as I keep those, thatalignment, the same of faith's
first, like, no matter how myday is, the first thing I want
to have is my faith.
Second is my family which goes,my wife and then my kids, cause
(42:03):
I feel like you know Dan justshared a post about that, you
know today that we talked aboutyou got to keep your wife and
then your kids, and then afterthat you know work and your
mission after that.
And I feel like, as long as youkeep that aligned, no matter
how it is throughout the day, Ifeel like you know that's what I
feel like is more importantthan the balance.
Speaker 5 (42:24):
So what's at the very center of all of that for you,
the very center of Everythingyou do, everything you just
mentioned, what is at the center?
That's the most important.
Speaker 4 (42:35):
Most important for me is my faith, my relationship
with Jesus.
Yes, sir, I mean, but that, andI feel like that is every other
place in that alignment, though.
You know what I mean Like am Ipreaching the gospel at work to
people that you know?
And probably not, but am Itrying to do my job in a way
that I believe would the waythat jesus would, yeah, like, is
(42:56):
he glorified?
right, exactly, your workexactly you know, and I feel
like, no matter what, if I dothat, am I loving my wife that
same exact way.
Through that, through my faith,am I loving him the way that
Jesus said love the church.
You know, and, and so I feellike, as long as that, that is
the center of everything youknow.
Before we got married, we had auh had to go through like a
(43:18):
class.
You know they used to do it allthe time before you get married
, and that was the one thingthat they said you know, no
matter where you're at in lifewith your wife, with your kids,
as long as you and your wife areon the same page with who's in
the center of Jesus, and thattriangle is always going to be
complete.
You know, you guys can alwaysmeet in the center.
Ground of Jesus is the mainthing.
So, yeah, that's kind of where.
(43:40):
Where I am, though, with thealignment whole thing that he
will, that whole thing willalign you.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I agree.
Yeah, I think when you're, whenyou're chasing a purpose, if
you're, if you're building abusiness, if you're raising a
family, if you're leading others, uh, in in business or faith or
whatever it is, something isalways going to get more of your
time than the other.
And I don't that's not failure.
I think that's focus.
(44:05):
And again, it goes back to youknow, focusing on what we're
doing right now, being present,being in the moment.
Um, I think balance assumeseverything should get equal
weight, but the real leadershipmeans knowing what needs your
weight right now.
That's.
I think that's key ineverything, and I think
sometimes people use balance asa way to justify comfort or to
(44:28):
avoid doing the hard things.
I think I think it's sometimesused as an excuse, but I think
we know that that growth growthcomes from discomfort, um, and
you can't always balance growthand comfort.
One's going to give you know,and I think you both hit on that
.
So let's ask this have you everlet go of something to stay
(44:51):
aligned with what matters most?
Speaker 5 (44:55):
Yeah, probably the first time I knew that that's
what was actually happening wasshortly after Sandy and I were
married.
There was a friend group goodpeople.
After Sandy and I were married,there was a friend group good
people.
But in order for me to stayaligned and stay true to her and
(45:16):
to where I felt like my lifewas going, I had to let go of
that and that was kind of a hardthing.
But there's no regret in that,as long as you're aligned with
the direction and the coursethat you feel like God has for
you, and I think that's going tobe something that's lifelong.
There's been other friendgroups along the way.
(45:39):
As you grow, as you mature, asyour passions realign to
different movements or differentaspects throughout life, it's
going to introduce you to newpeople, new opportunities.
So I think that's going to besomething that'll be constant in
order to stay aligned.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
That's good, Ben.
Have you ever let somethinggood go to stay aligned with
what matters most?
Speaker 4 (46:04):
Yeah, so back when I was a sales rep, there was an
opportunity in Texas where theywanted me to go out there and be
a sales manager.
It was, you know, it's more pay, more responsibilities and
everything.
But, like I said, what's numbernumber two on my alignment list
that I have is family.
So if we were to move to Texas,we don't have any family that
our kids won't know theirgrandparents, you know.
(46:26):
So we decided's not the the bestopportunity to go with and yeah
, it was a temptation, thoughI'm sure, oh yeah, yeah, I mean
every winner you think about,but no, I mean for sure.
And then that's that's what itwas it was.
You know, our companies gotbought out by there are two
competitors, and then onecompany came and bought both of
(46:47):
us.
One was on a commission scale.
The other One was on acommission scale.
The other one was not on acommission scale, which was
where I was.
So that was their pitch waswell, you can come work for our
company, we'll make you a salesmanager.
Out in Arlington we're buildinga brand-new building and we
thought about it.
But then it's like you know,those grandparents are only
around for so long and mygrandpa was my biggest, you know
, my best friend growing up andnot going to take away that from
(47:10):
my kids.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
So good decision.
Speaker 4 (47:13):
Yeah, I think so.
Now I work for a glass companywith a boss that's just a jerk,
just kidding.
Well, played.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
That's me, you know.
For me I go back to three yearsago.
My diet was dreadful, and itwas dreadful because it was
comfortable.
You know, I ate whatever Iwanted, not good ice cream,
chips, carbs, all this stuff.
That man tastes good, but itwas not good for me, and when I
(47:45):
finally had that come to Jesusmoment where I was like, all
right, having a big old bowl ofice cream at nine o'clock at
night is not good for yourhealth.
And if you want to improve yourmind and your body and and the
leader that you want to be andand, uh, to be fulfilled in life
, and um, you gotta, you gotta,cut that stuff out.
(48:06):
And I knew it, I knew that'swhat I had to do, but boy was it
hard, you know, and I thinkthat's hard.
So that was hard for you togive up.
Oh my gosh, yeah, I was like acrack addict.
Speaker 5 (48:20):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, and I would have ice cream a
couple of times a day and notjust a little tiny bowl you were
serious, I was going to get mymoney's worth.
Speaker 3 (48:27):
Um, yeah, it's hard, and I haven't had it for I don't
know, since I was 2022.
Uh, and I don't crave it at all, but boy, you know I, it was
just one of those things, it wasa comfort thing.
You know, I was a stress eater,um, and that was something I
knew I had to get past.
Speaker 5 (48:43):
Do you ever see yourself going back to it?
Speaker 3 (48:46):
I'm never going to say never, but not today.
Speaker 5 (48:49):
Yes, sir, I don't see you ever going back.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
Yeah, yeah.
So I don't know, you know, Ithink, hopefully, that I've
developed a discipline where I,um, you know, can withstand that
temptation.
But I know I'm human, you know,so I know I'm not going to do
it today.
Speaker 5 (49:07):
Well'll help hold you accountable.
Thank, you.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
I need that, All right.
So to tie this all backtogether with freedom and what
today is, with 4th of July andour independence, um, how do we
teach the next generation thatour freedom isn't free Because
we've we've had a lot of safetyand security the last 20 years,
(49:35):
you know we haven't necessarilygoing back to September 11th um,
you know, been fairlycomfortable in America, probably
too comfortable.
So how do we teach this nextgeneration that freedom's not
free, but that it starts witheach one of us?
So talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 5 (49:58):
Yeah.
So I want to take a more of aself-introspective look on this,
because I think it comes downto each individual and as
parents, and for myself now, asa grandparent, I feel like I
have that responsibility toteach and train my kids, my
grandkids, these concepts.
And I think it comes back tointegrity, and that might sound
(50:22):
crazy.
Well, how do you tie integritywith freedom?
And so let me expand on that.
So earlier we were talkingabout this idea of
self-regulated integrity.
So, in other words, there's alot of ways that you can define
what is integrity.
If I ask 10 different people,I'm going to get 10 different
(50:42):
answers, and probably all 10would be right.
But if you really boil thatdown, to me integrity means this
I do what I say, that I'm goingto do.
When I say I'm going to do it,whether or not anyone else is
watching, it's just that simple.
So, as an individual, againI'll go back to what I said
(51:05):
earlier.
For you, ben, it's easy for meto be a person of integrity to
you, because you're going toknow immediately whether I was
or not and you'll judge me forthat.
I don't want to be judged byyou in a negative light.
So I'm going to be a person ofintegrity to you.
Integrity to you probably everytime, same with you, dan, or
other people around me in mylife.
(51:27):
But what about when it's justme, when it's something that
I've said in my mind this iswhat I'm going to do?
Am I going to do it everysingle time?
And so how do we do that?
Well, we self-regulate, weself-moderate.
That goes back to for you, yourchallenge was food.
I've never really had that.
(51:48):
I've had other things that I'vehad to deal with, but never
been tempted by food.
But we learned to self-regulateand then, through those
patterns, that becomes a habit.
What have we just done?
Through that process, we'vemade ourselves accountable, not
to anyone else, because this isreally what it boils down to.
(52:08):
I've now held myselfaccountable to myself, and that
is when you achieve true freedom, when you are able to move and
navigate through life beingself-regulated, self-moderated
(52:33):
every time, holding myselfaccountable to a higher level,
higher degree.
Then I now have freedom that Ididn't ever have before.
Now that might sound a littlebit crazy.
So what do we mean by thisfreedom?
Well, so let's go back to thosein the American Revolution.
What were they trying to getout from under.
It was tyranny.
They wanted the freedom to beout from tyranny, and so then,
what is tyranny?
(52:53):
Well, that's oppression.
It's the freedom to not act andlive and decide for yourself.
That's really what tyranny is.
And isn't that exactly what youhad yourself under?
You were bound to the actions,choices you were making with
food, whatever.
Ben, you've probably beenthrough something I've been
(53:16):
through other things thatbecause I was not
self-regulating, notself-moderating my own lifestyle
, I'd brought tyranny on myself,which is just a form of bondage
.
And when we shed that, that tome, is the ultimate freedom.
And we can look all around usand look at different examples
where people they don't havephysical shackles but, they are
(53:40):
shackled.
They are not free to live and bethe person that God has called
them to be because of choices,decisions, patterns and habits.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
That's good.
What about you, Ben?
Speaker 4 (53:56):
That's really powerful.
I feel like when you talk aboutthat and it's not just a once
you break those chains, thatfreedom's there.
You still have everything thatcreeps into you.
Know that freedom's there, likeyou still have everything that
creeps into your life, that thatbattles, that integrity, you
know I think every day I'vetalked to you about it the
imposter syndrome, like that'sconstant, you know, and no
(54:17):
matter what it's, it's somethingyou just got every day.
Nope, I, I am, who, who I amand who I say I am.
And you know, as long as youstack those, those wins of keep
doing that and making yourself aman of integrity and answering
yourself for accountability,then I feel like that shuts up
the imposter syndrome.
But the devil's really good athis job, so he's going to try to
(54:39):
shackle you with that bondage,no matter what.
I feel like.
Speaker 3 (54:42):
Yeah, I mean for sure I think about the next
generation, like with my, youknow, I make sure they're fully
aware that freedom isn't aboutdoing whatever you want right
and that different people aren'traised in the same home that
you're raised in with the samevalues.
You know, my kids are fortunateenough to live on a farm, to be
(55:04):
able to raise animals andlivestock and to to see that
those animals need them for food, for water, for shelter, for
air and um.
But not everybody's raised likethat and in fact a majority of
people's kids are not, andthat's okay.
But what I tried to instill inmy kids is that, through all
(55:27):
those circumstances thateverybody else is, is brought
into in their lives that to notjudge and to take a step back
when someone says something orsomeone does something that's
out of line or may not be inline with what we believe or
what you would do or what Iwould do, to put yourself in
(55:48):
their, their shoes.
Because once you do that andyou take that step back and you
put yourself in someone else'sshoes, it gives you a whole new
perspective on life and then yousay, okay, I can see why this
person did that.
Um, doesn't mean it's right,Right, but.
But I can see why they did that, and so that's.
(56:08):
I think both your answers aregreat, and I think the personal
responsibility for each of us isso important to show others
that you know freedom does startwith us in our daily lives and,
you know, trying to inspireothers, whether that's through
(56:28):
our actions or our words or justthe people that we are, and
showing that we have highintegrity in our lives.
So good answers.
Last question, and we'll closethis thing up.
I want each of you to answerthis.
One thing I'm committed to thisyear that strengthens my
personal freedom and helpssomeone else experience theirs
(56:49):
is this oh, we're going with mefirst, yeah.
Speaker 5 (56:54):
Uh-oh, you're up this time.
Speaker 4 (56:57):
No, I just intentional, like the discipline
of being intentional,especially with, you know, just
with the family.
Like I feel like that'ssomething that every day I
realize I have one less day toreally impact those kids, you
know, just with the family.
Like I feel like that'ssomething that every day I
realize I have one less day toreally impact those kids, you
know, and especially not just mykids and family, just being
(57:18):
intentional with every kid thatwe come through, whether it's
basketball, football programs.
I mean it seems like every day,when I reflect back on the day,
if I handled stuff the rightway.
Every day there's a chance thatthose kids are, you know,
there's a discipline that theydon't have or a habit that they
have that it's like man, like Icould affect it that if I was
more intentional you know what Imean Like maybe that was a
(57:38):
learning moment, the reason whyGod put me in their life and use
this program to to change theirlife, and so to really reflect
in the moment and be intentionalin that moment so I don't miss
those moments.
I think that's something I youknow a lot of people they coach
and stuff because they love thesport and I do and I love, but I
feel like that's where God hasme Like.
I feel like God puts me inthese situations and these
(58:00):
programs for kids that and yousee it all the time that don't
have, you know, maybe a goodrole model at home or someone
that they're, they don't listento at home.
Right, I mean, maybe they havegood mom and dad, but they just
they don't look up to their momand dad.
But in every program there's atleast one or two that I can
tell that I'm helping change.
And just to make sure that I'mintentional in those moments and
(58:21):
with my own kids, um, that I'mjust intentional whenever
there's a chance that God'swanting to use me in that moment
, to actually do that moment,like be in there, don't miss the
moment, take the shot and andhave it and change their life.
So I think that's my, mydiscipline.
Speaker 5 (58:38):
That's good For me, uh.
Personal development, you know,as I mentioned earlier, I've
been on this I guess I'd call ita journey for about eight
months now.
A lot of self-reflection, Ifeel like a lot of growth
internally, and I've had severalopportunities over the last few
months to work with others intheir personal development space
(59:00):
.
I think I have about fivepeople now that I meet with on a
regular basis, pouring intothem.
Sometimes I feel like I get asmuch in return, uh, as I do in
what I have to offer them, butI'm really grateful for those
opportunities to take those thatare very serious about life,
about their, their passions,their desire to, to give back
(59:23):
and be more.
And if I, if there's in someway that I can help them in that
in their journey, then to methat's going to be a great thing
.
And I, if there's in some waythat I can help them in that in
their journey, then to me that'sgoing to be a great thing, and
I've, I'm really enjoying that.
Speaker 3 (59:33):
Yeah that's awesome the thing for me and it's kind
of a popular thing If you're, ifyou listen to any of the, you
know the inspirational gurus outthere on the all the social
medias is.
But it is true for me as justbeing more present and again, I
think that's why God put us heretoday and this past year with
(59:56):
the podcast, was to force me tobe more present.
But I want to be more presentwith my family.
You know you made a good pointabout turning off the phone when
you get home.
That that's difficult for me.
Um, it's difficult, um, in themorning and the evening it's,
it's I feel that pull and I knowthat it's going to be there the
(01:00:17):
next day when I wake up.
But it's, it's challengingbecause you know, you feel like
you know my whole life I've beenable to.
When someone's sent me amessage or a phone call, I've
been able to respond instantly.
Um, but to recognize I don'thave to.
I need to be present in themoment today I need to be
present when I get to the office.
I need to be present at home.
(01:00:38):
Most importantly at home, Ineed to be present when I'm at
church, I need to be presentwhen I'm praying and um.
So that's.
That's.
The big thing for me is just tocontinue to work on that, to be
more present and to listen.
So that's where I'm at.
I think all three are good forsure.
(01:00:58):
Freedom isn't found in doingwhatever we want.
It's found in doing what'sright, even when it's hard.
True independence begins withdiscipline, grows through
service and lasts when we livefor something bigger than
ourselves.
As we close this specialIndependence Day episode, we
want to say a sincere thank youto the men and women who have
(01:01:20):
served and continue to serve toprotect the freedoms we so often
take for granted.
Your sacrifice makes itpossible for us to worship
freely, speak openly and liveboldly.
We do not take that lightly andwe honor you today and every
day, so we thank you.
So happy 4th of July toeveryone out there.
(01:01:41):
Be safe today for all youfireworks crazies out there who
like to blow up your money.
Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
Pyromaniacs yeah have fun with that.
Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
I'll spend my money in other ways.
Brian, we thank you for yourtime today.
Thank you, Thank you for yourfriendship and for being open
and vulnerable.
I think it's important and Ithink, with the AI technology
that we are in right now andit's coming, whether you like it
or not I think vulnerability issomething that will never go
away and it's coming whether youlike it or not.
I think vulnerability issomething that will never go
away and it's something thatothers will be attracted to.
(01:02:13):
So I think that helps ourpodcast, that helps the
connection between men, betweenwomen, and sharing those stories
.
So, everybody, we ask that youcontinue.
Please share these episodes toothers out there who need it.
I hope that you find itinspiring and, if you do, we ask
that you share.
So go out and be tempered.
Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Catron's Glass.
Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
Thanks, Allie.
Things like doors and windowsgo into making a house, but when
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(01:03:02):
Catron's Glass the clear choice.
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Catron's Glass.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Thanks, allie.
Things like doors and windowsgo into making a house, but when
it's your home you expect morelike the great service and
selection you'll get fromCatron's Glass Final replacement
.
Windows from Catron's come witha lifetime warranty, including
accidental glass breakagereplacement.
Also ask for custom showerdoors and many other products
and services.
Call 962-1636.
Locally owned, with localemployees for nearly 30 years.
(00:26):
Kitchen's best.
The clear choice.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we
explore the art of findingbalance in a chaotic world.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Join us as we delve into insightful conversations,
practical tips and inspiringstories to help you navigate
life's ups and downs with graceand resilience.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
We're your hosts, dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr.
Let's embark on a journey tolive our best lives.
This is Be Tempered.
What's up everybody, welcome tothe Be Tempered podcast,
episode number.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
We got confused 60.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Huh 60.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Is it 60?
Yeah, it's 60.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'm 100% sure right.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Producer it's 60.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
It is it's 60.
Yeah, he's shaking his head.
You're good, ben, good job hey.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
My mind wasn't on that part yet.
I didn't even realize we'rerecording.
We've been recording for awhile.
We're deep in conversation, hey.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
first off I want to say happy Independence Day.
Hey, first off I want to sayhappy Independence Day and I
want to welcome in again ourfriend Brian Ballinger.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
The legend.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Yeah, the living legend.
You know, Brian, you and I hada conversation a week ago.
Seems like I think we gettogether once a month and have
coffee and have a very gooddiscussion, bouncing ideas and
issues, things we're dealingwith off of each other, and it's
super impactful for me and Iappreciate that, and you know we
met last week, right what's?
(01:51):
Today.
Tuesday.
Yeah we met last week and we'rekind of discussing things and
discussing the topic for thispodcast and you know we had such
a good conversation.
I said, hey, why don't you joinus?
Right, I think you've got a lotto offer on this, on this topic,
but what I want to start offtoday is is discussing
(02:12):
Independence Day and what itmeans to each of you guys
individually.
What it means to me, because Ithink there's a lot that we I
don't think I know, there's alot that I take for granted with
our freedoms in the countrythat we live in, and a lot that
many Americans take for granted.
So, in thinking about this andas you've given some thought,
(02:37):
Brian, what does IndependenceDay mean to you?
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Well, it means a lot of things to me, but I guess the
first thought I have isshedding ourselves from tyranny.
I think that's really whatmotivated the early settlers in
this country to be able to shedtyranny to have true freedom.
And I think back to my ancestors.
You know the very firstBallinger that came to this
(03:05):
county in the early 1800s.
He was in that war and canimagine the probably the fear,
but also imagine the excitementthat they had that for the first
time for most of them in theirlives, they would know true
freedom and they would be ableto build a life that they felt
like God was leading them to,and to be able to raise their
(03:27):
families.
And then, not knowing what doesthat mean for the next
generations?
I think that's something thatwe don't often think about is
the freedom I have today that Ienjoy?
How is that setting up the nextgeneration, for my children,
our grandchildren?
So you know it's not to be takenfor granted.
Obviously it didn't come free.
There were a lot of sacrifices.
(03:48):
But you know, thankfully we'rein a time now where we're not
really challenged.
You know we don't have foreignenemies on our soil.
I mean, I know they're here,but you know we don't challenge,
we're not confronted with thatevery day.
So what do we do on a dailybasis to ensure that we still
have freedom?
And I think that's really wherewe're probably going to dive
(04:10):
deeper into this podcast toreally help discover what am I
doing today to live as a freeman, and there's a lot to that.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
What do you think, Ben?
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Yeah well, 4th of July, there's two times that we
get together.
It's like spars, my side of thefamily, and it's christmas and
fourth of july.
Those are the only days thatyou know easter and all that we
don't get together, but thoseare the two days.
And it's because the importanceof fourth of july, just our
independence, um, you know it's,I know the war that you know
(04:43):
they had for our freedom and whywe celebrate Fourth of July.
But we reflect on the peoplethat served.
Some of my friends that I havethat went overseas and I have a
buddy that IEDs, that was hisjob and he lost a buddy right
there, in front of his eyes,right up the road.
One exploded.
Think of the stress that he did, how he came back and tried to,
(05:06):
you know, adapt back intocivilization, which is tough.
I mean, it's tough to go forbeing a soldier and then, coming
back to, you know, be a regularcitizen.
And so those are the sacrificesI just always think about and
try to, you know, have the boysreflect on and, you know, just
praise God that we live in thegreatest country in the world.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Yeah, I agree, you know, again, freedom for me, as
I was kind of reflecting on whatIndependence Day means for me,
you know, I've been fortunate togo to different countries that
have freedoms but don't have thefreedom that we have, the faith
(05:48):
, freedom to be able to practicewhatever religion, the ability
to criticize our politicians, topractice whatever political,
whether we're Republicans orDemocrats or independents.
You know to be able to practicethat and to be able to
(06:09):
criticize.
You know, um, that's obviouslysomething we take for granted,
and when you see things in othercountries, especially in
impoverished countries, wherepeople, uh, you know, live with
very, very little means, um, man, it really makes you reflect on
how good we have it.
(06:29):
And then you think about, likewhat you said, ben, you think
about these families who havemilitary members who paid the
ultimate sacrifice.
You know for our freedoms, youknow the selfless act to run,
run into the fight and to bewilling to give their life.
You know for our freedoms that,again, I think we take for
(06:51):
granted a lot.
And so you know for me, theability to, to, to practice my
faith, to be able to run abusiness how I want to run it,
not how somebody wants me to runit, the ability to have these
conversations, you know, to beopen and to be honest and to be
(07:12):
vulnerable.
You know that's the freedomsthat we enjoy.
But I'm so thankful for thosemilitary men and women who
continue to sacrifice on a dailybasis.
We just had this past week, youknow the um, the bunker busters
that were dropped on Iran, youknow, to destroy their, their
(07:32):
nuclear um things.
You know those, those men andwomen flew for 36 hours straight
.
36 hours straight going intosomething they didn't know if
they were going to be seen, ifthey were going to be fired upon
no idea.
I mean, I'm getting ready to goon a 24 hour hike.
(07:54):
I'm not sitting in a plane for36 hours going into a storm that
I don't know what's going tocome from it, that I could
essentially very easily lose mylife.
So I put that all intoperspective and I think, holy
cow you know what?
I'm going to do is nothingcompared to what you know, what
those men and women did for usyou know, essentially for our
(08:16):
freedom.
So you know, I hope everybodyout there, I hope you know
whatever Independence Day meansto you.
I hope at a minimum, you know aminimum.
You look to those men and womenwho serve those families who
lost loved ones, who paid theultimate sacrifice, and you just
say thank you, thank you forwhat you do, what your family
(08:39):
member did for us, because it'simportant and it's easy to take
that for granted for us.
So, and kind of staying alongthose lines, brian, you know you
and I talked about habits, wetalked about discipline, so
let's expand upon that unlessyou got something else.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Yeah, before we jump into that, because this is going
to be really important you saidsomething a moment ago that I
think is really important.
You said a soldier when facingthe enemy, they run into the
fight.
Now, we're not called to dothat today.
We're not soldiers in themilitary, but as men, we have a
(09:18):
fight before us every day and weshould be running into it.
So that's really what I want toget into today, and what I'm
excited about is sharing some ofour thoughts and our ideas.
Hopefully it helps andchallenges others to realize
that you do have a fight beforeyou every single day.
Are you going to run from it orare you going to realize that,
yes, it's here, but by God'sgrace or the strength that I'm
(09:42):
going to find within me, I'mgoing to go run into it and
overcome.
So really, I think that's whattoday's about.
So now we'll get back to yourquestion.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
So we talked about habits.
You know, you and I we met lastweek and we talked about habits
, we talked about discipline, wetalked about balance and we're
going to kind of touch on allthose things.
But I think everything startswith your habits.
So can you expand upon yourhabits, brian, and how you've
(10:15):
developed habits, maybe fromdiscipline, and how those two
kind of relate?
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Yeah, so we, we had a pretty in-depth conversation
last week and at some point Ithink I might've mentioned I
said, you know, we probablyshould have been recording this
right now, and that's when Ithink you mentioned well, well,
let's get together next week andyou can join us.
So you know, I think a lotabout our habits.
You know, when we think abouthow we would want to either
(10:46):
define ourselves or how we wantothers to perceive us.
I think we, as humans, wethat's not, that's not factual
at all, because I can tell you,if you don't know me, I can tell
(11:09):
you a lot of different thingsabout myself.
May or may not be true, but ifyou watch and observe me long
enough, you'll see what myhabits say about my character.
And you know, habits aredeveloped through routines.
Routines create patterns andthen those patterns obviously
become at times can be alifelong habit.
(11:30):
So we really need to thinkabout our daily lives, our daily
choices, the actions that wetake, remembering that those
develop habits and that's reallywhat defines us as a human
being.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Yeah that's a good point, but you've been on habits
, what?
What are some habits maybe youhave developed or that you try
to do on a daily basis?
You know to show people yourstrength and the and the kind of
man that you are.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Yeah, the first habit that I picked up was the four
to six, the workouts, four tosix and um, you know it's about
being intentional.
My main thing is I want to beknown as a family man.
Like that's my main goal, likeI want everybody to know that I
am there for my family.
So, the four to six you stillhave to take care of yourself,
right, when I go to work out,four or six am my family's
(12:23):
asleep.
I'm not losing family time tohelp make myself better.
And and then the other thing isyou say about, like, who you
want to be, right, well, 4 to 6,I feel like in order for you to
be the person that you want tobe, you have to develop habits
that make you into that man.
Right, and from 4 to 6 there'salmost nobody in the gym and I
feel like that's the time thatyou really develop that, um,
(12:45):
self-confidence.
You can really figure out whoyou are when there's nobody in
there with you and it's just youand you, and that's when you
really identify who you are.
And then you can set yourhabits up to you know, shape
yourself after that and you knowthat's one big habit.
And then another habit is theintentional, like what you're
talking about being present allthe time.
(13:05):
When I get home, like a lot ofpeople say, I'm the worst person
to text back, and I can tellyou exactly why I've noticed, oh
yeah.
As soon as I get home.
My phone is away from me, butyou know, that's a good thing, I
think.
Yeah, I mean that's one that Iused to always be, and Lisa used
(13:29):
to, and it's like, well, I have50, some missed messages, like
I keep getting texted and textedand texted, and then we have
the conversation about beingpresent and it's like those
messages can wait.
You know what I mean.
Like there I have to prioritizemy family, and that's one.
So that's, that's probably themost.
That's probably my favoritehabit that I picked up and it's
it's almost a discipline too.
You know, you hear, man, like Itexted you and you didn't text
me back and it's like it's notthat you're not important, but
like my whole life, like myfamily, my family, my faith,
(13:50):
those are the two things thatare important to me.
So if I don't get back to you,it's not that you're not that
important, it's that my familyis that important.
Like when I'm home, you know howeasy it is to just, you know,
when evie's in a little rant orsomething and talking, you know
to ignore that and just be likeyep, yep, yep and not really pay
attention and be present.
And I'm sitting thereresponding to text messages that
(14:10):
you know, most of the time Imean a lot of the text is a
group messages that don't.
You know, don't better my life,but it's like no, like I want
to be there because you know,you know how fast a four year
old grows up.
I want to remember every singlesecond that that four-year-old
says and all the things that hesays.
And so that's one thing that'sprobably my favorite habit I
picked up is just putting thephone aside and being like that
(14:32):
can wait until they go to bed,that can wait until tomorrow
morning, but I'm at home, likeI'm going to be at home.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah, I think too, the relationship between
discipline and habits.
I think you know a lot ofpeople when we talk about
discipline.
A lot of people and I may havefallen into that category 10, 15
, 20 years ago that disciplinewas something you were born with
(15:01):
, like athletic ability, likeintelligence.
Well, it's not.
Discipline is something youhave to work on every single day
and you can not have anydiscipline and have really bad
habits.
Or you can develop thatdiscipline that four to 6 AM
getting out of bed and going anddoing your workout or or your
(15:22):
walk or stretching, whatever itis that you do, your reading,
your prayer, um, develop thatdiscipline which will, in return
, develop good habits.
So there's a big relationshipbetween discipline and habits.
So can you talk about maybesomething new for you, brian,
where you maybe struggled withthought you didn't have time for
(15:45):
, and then you realize, no, youknow what, I can be more
disciplined to do this todevelop a good habit.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Right Before I answer that, you're talking a lot
about discipline, but one word Inoticed you didn't mention and
I'm kind of glad you didn't useit and it's the word motivation.
Let's dispel a myth aboutmotivation.
Motivation is only an idea,it's just a thought.
It doesn't move me to doanything right.
So really, where all of thishappens is with discipline.
(16:14):
It took a lot of discipline foryou to start working out at 4
am.
So to your question about fourmonths ago.
I've been going through a periodof time for about eight months
where really just searching,digging deep, feeling like, all
right, there's something missing, I have a lot to offer, I feel
(16:36):
like, but I'm not doing enough,I'm not fulfilling the life that
I feel like I'm called to be.
It's not that I've foundanything really wrong,
necessarily in the sense that,all right, I need to get rid of
this, I need to shed that habitor whatever, but I'm not
(16:56):
spending all of my time that Ihave access to, every day to its
fullest.
So about four months ago andthis kind of challenged me, I've
gotten into the habit the lastseveral years that you know I
slow to wake up, you know, maybeI hit the snooze once or twice
feels really good, takes meabout an hour to wake up, and so
(17:19):
this thought occurred to me youknow you've got a lot of time
in the day that you're not usingwell, so, um, I think I was
talking to you and you I thinkthis is the idea that kind of
sowed the seed it was the 75hard and realizing all right,
it's, it's time to get upearlier, let's get get a walk in
(17:40):
.
And my first thought was Idon't know if I'm going to be
able to do this.
Can I really get up at 10 to 5,be out the door by 5?
But you know, what I found outis that first morning alarm went
off and I knew so I had this.
Yeah, there was some motivationthere.
Motivation in itself is notwrong, so I had the idea, but
(18:03):
you have to act on it.
I didn't lay there in bed, Ididn't hit snooze, I just
immediately got up, got dressed,out the door.
This is back in early March.
It was pretty, pretty cold out,but it felt amazing and I've
I've only missed maybe two orthree, maybe two days in almost
four months, so that that soundslike such a small,
(18:23):
insignificant thing, but it'snot, because it's helped me
further develop my personalself-discipline to moderate my
own time, and what I've gainedfrom that it's not just good for
my body, good for my high bloodpressure or whatever, but
mentally, spiritually, it'sfeeding my soul.
(18:43):
But mentally, spiritually, it'sfeeding my soul.
There's a lot of times whereit's just me and God.
I feel like I can have moretime to pray, think about other
people more often, something Iwant to share with you.
I think it was two weeks ago, itwas a Monday morning.
I was headed out partway downthe drive and it's pitch black
(19:06):
out.
I can't see anything, but justhad this feeling like man, it's
going to cut loose on with somerain.
So I turned back and I got myraincoat and I got about a mile
and a half out and was turningback and it started sprinkling
and then all of a sudden, I mean, the skies opened up and it's
just an absolute downpour and Iloved it.
It was amazing.
I'm getting soaked other than,you know, kind of dry with the
(19:27):
raincoat, but it didn't mattertoo much.
It was one of those justabsolute downpours and I was
walking along and of course youcan't see it, but up to my right
I could hear this bird justsinging its little heart out and
that was such an amazing momentfor me that in the midst of
that storm, that bird had a songto sing and I felt like that
(19:48):
was just for me.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
It was an amazing moment that you know, we talked
about that last week and and I Ishare a similar story because I
also do the walk.
You you know I typically do mywalk, my gratitude walk at the
end of the day, because you knowthe days for us men and for
(20:10):
many people out there listeningare very chaotic Right, and to
be able to take 45 minutes to anhour, and I've said it numerous
times, Hayes Arboretum here inRichmond is like my little
heaven on earth.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
It's your sanctuary.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
And it's not because it's beautiful and it is, it is
beautiful, um, it's becausethat's where I have grown the
most in the last three years.
And it's not because I'vegotten amazing workouts there.
I have, um, but more often thannot it's because that's allowed
(20:45):
me to decompress the day, tojust open my mind to whatever
comes.
And you know, there, I don'tknow.
A month ago you know I was Iwas asked to give the speech at
my former high school forgraduation, which was an amazing
honor and I was well prepared,ready to go.
(21:09):
And that was on a Saturday andmy best friend's daughter had
her graduation party.
We went to the graduation partyin the afternoon.
I was supposed to be at thegraduation at 630.
I'm ready, I feel good, and Igo to the at the at the
graduation at six 30,.
I'm ready, you know, I feelgood and I go to the graduation
party, see a bunch of friendsand great conversation and my
(21:29):
mentors there.
And then we started talking andhe was asking you know, are you
, are you ready?
You feel good, you know, tellme, tell me what you're going to
talk about, tell me what yourspeech is about.
And so I started talking andand he was just having natural
conversation.
He's given many speeches andthen many talks and and I know
he didn't mean to place anydoubt in my mind, but he did and
(21:53):
here I am, it's three o'clockin the afternoon.
I got three hours to go beforeI go up and speak to, you know,
these students and theirfamilies.
And, man, I start secondguessing myself.
I mean I'm just like holy cow,like I need to change everything
that I worked on for the pastfive months.
And luckily I drove separatefrom my wife and kids and I,
(22:18):
because I knew I needed to gofor a walk and I went to to the
Arboretum and I just startedpraying and saying all right,
god, I need you right now,because I am full of anxiety,
I'm full of doubt, like I don'tknow how I'm going to do this.
And I went and I walked for anhour and it was amazing how,
(22:42):
when I went into the woods, howI felt and when I came out, I
was just at peace.
I was at peace because I knewagain that he he didn't, he
didn't mean to place any, he wasjust bouncing ideas off of me
which I probably should havewent to him four months earlier,
maybe to have that conversation, um, but when I walked out of
(23:04):
that Arboretum I was at peaceand I was.
I was thankful, and that's allthat kept coming to my mind was
you put in the work, be thankfulfor the opportunity that that
the school has given you to talkto these kids?
And when I, when I went therethat evening, I was I mean, I
don't, I don't know any videosof me, but I felt like I had a
(23:26):
smile on my face the whole timebecause I was so grateful.
I sat up on that stage and Ilooked at all those kids and all
those people, a lot of whom Iknew and seen in many years, but
I was just so grateful for thatopportunity.
So, just from that transitionof I'm ready, holy cow, I don't
think I'm ready to going throughand and and doing that walk,
(23:49):
which I had done I don't knowhundreds of times in the past
couple of years in the same spotand walk in the same paths in
the same area, it just thathabit that I had developed, from
the discipline that I hadstarted, helped me to get
through a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,what could have been a
challenging time and, and youknow, I feel it was, it was
successful.
So you know, but because ofthat discipline and because of
(24:12):
building those good habits, um,that saved me in that moment.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
I feel like nature does that so much for me, like
anytime, like you know, you talkabout the birds singing or you
just being out in the woods, andI mean anytime you're just able
to sit back and just look andjust think like man, like God
created all this, and then youput that and you know, you see
the birds flying, the birdssinging.
The other day, evie and I werewalking and we see a woodpecker
that's.
You know, they're usually highin the tree and you can barely
(24:39):
see.
Well, this guy was right on theground at the base of the tree
where we were both, I mean, wesat and I bet we watched him for
five, 10 minutes.
Just stood there and watch andit's just amazing, I mean.
But whenever you think about,like, how big God is, you know
what I mean, and then you bringit back to how small our
problems are.
Yeah, I don't know, I just feellike so many times that's
that's what I need to put stuffin perspective.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
So yeah, and that's where I'm at right now for this
coming weekend.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
You're going to have a lot of that, a lot of doubt in
my mind.
How do you build habits whenlife feels chaotic?
Because in the positions thatwe're in and the jobs that we're
in in the construction field,there's a lot of chaos, and I
think how you handle that isessential in leadership to your
team, um, to your customer.
(25:33):
So talk about that when, whenthings are coming at you I just
had it on this last Friday justconstant, like oh my gosh just
bang, bang, bang left punch,uppercut.
You know knockout punch.
How do you?
What habits can you build toget you through what feels like
(25:55):
chaos?
Speaker 5 (25:56):
I think it's important to remain calm, you
know, have a presence about you,making sure that you don't
allow others around you to feedoff of any anxiety that you
might have, and you just simplyanalyze.
You know we have thesesituations, we have these
problems, but what's most urgentin the moment?
It's easy to get overwhelmedwith everything in totality, but
(26:20):
if you break it down, justsimply look at what's most
urgent that I need to take careof right now, at this very
moment, and then you just startprioritizing and going through
the list, you know, taking thatwhich is most urgent first and,
again, not allowing it tooverwhelm you.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
You stole my answer.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
So it must have been a good answer.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
I mean.
Speaker 4 (26:40):
I've been the right answer.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah, I mean.
I write down you know, I, Iit's kind of like triage, right?
Speaker 5 (26:47):
I mean, you have something's bleeding, you go
there first.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
That's right, yeah, and it and staying calm is so
important, so important becauseyou're right, because you, we've
all been around people who getreally excited.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Yeah, and then that, what's that do?
It amps everybody around them.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
We've got plenty of people in our organization that
get really excited about thingsand just take a breath.
It's going to be okay.
Stay calm.
This is not a life or deathsituation.
Um, but that's exactly.
You know I, I've got it righthere.
Build the habit of remainingcalm in all circumstances.
Take deep breaths.
(27:24):
It'll be okay so that that's.
That's that's what I feel whenthings get chaotic.
What about you, ben?
I just had to just keep itsmall.
That's that's what I feel whenthings get chaotic.
What about you, ben?
Speaker 4 (27:30):
I just had to just keep it small, like start
ridiculously small.
And I feel like it's funnybecause the way that I read the
kind of the notes of what wewere talking about and then the
way you just put it and puts itin another perspective.
Cause, like a year and a halfago, you know, like I came in
the construction industry, greenis the green can get, you know.
So that's one thing that Irealized.
I mean I can.
The past year and a half hasbeen really chaotic because you
(27:53):
know the podcast and then doingthis, the construction, like new
to everything, and it's justyou gotta keep it small, like
just try to just try to keep itsmall and try to every day just
try to win the, you know, winthe little small things.
And so I feel like the habit isjust keep it small, keeping a
perspective.
There's an issue, you know,like you guys said, prioritize
it, but just kind of keep itsmall to where you can handle
(28:17):
this situation.
If you look at everything in agiant scheme of things, you know
it's a huge wave right.
But then you see that first waveyou got to get over.
Okay, now we're there.
Now it's just a little bit moreand a little bit more.
So I just feel like you cankeep it small and chaotic and
you know, the habits are nowhere, the goal's at right, even if
not in construction, but like ifyou're trying to do weight loss
and and you're like, okay, well, I got to fix my diet, I got to
get my workouts, now I got todo this, I got to do this, and
(28:39):
you just bombard yourself withall this stuff.
Are you going to be successful?
No, okay, now that we got this,let's get the next wave.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
In that moment, how much time and energy should we
put on the things that we can'tcontrol?
Because in in chaos, a lot ofthings we can't control.
So, we should give zero energyto that.
Yeah, very little, very littlethought.
That's really hard, I know, somaybe that answer was pointed
back at me because I'm kind of acontrol freak, but I honestly I
(29:11):
try not to control things thatwe have no control over.
That's a distraction.
It's not going to allow you toreally focus on the problem at
hand and deal with that, whichis really urgent.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, we just talked about it earlier.
You know about what I've gotcoming up on on Saturday, which
I'll be by the time this airs.
I'll be through my, my 24 hourtrack.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
But hopefully this is the last hurrah.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
I'm going to build you up, dan, you are going to do
it.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Oh, I know I'm going to do it, I, but I doubt right.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
Um, what are you going to suffer in the meantime,
right?
Speaker 3 (29:53):
That's right, you know.
I know suffering is coming.
I know pain is coming, I knowmy mind.
Speaker 5 (29:59):
So if that's the case and you know that's true, and
I'm, I know it's true and have alittle bit of an idea of what
you're about to go through, sowhy do it?
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Because I want to see where I'm at.
I want to push myself to thenext level.
That's why, but it's still,there's still anxiety.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
So would you say, you don't really know what the next
level looks like and that's whyyou're doing it.
That's correct.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
You know I, I've been and again, I think, if there's
anybody out there new listeningwhat I'm doing is I'm going on.
It's called the Rite of Passage.
It's with the Three of SevenProject, which is a group of men
down in Rome, Georgia, soNorthwest Georgia, north of
Atlanta, One of which is aretired Navy SEAL, Chad Wright,
(30:46):
and this R.
This rite of passage is 24hours, nonstop movement.
Uh, we're going to be hiking.
I got to carry my own pack, my,my water, my snacks, uh, any
other, you know, clothing that Imay need to change into all
that stuff I've been trainingfor, but there's no stopping.
Um, what I can't control.
(31:10):
I can't control the weather.
You know it's going to be closeto a hundred degrees, 70%
humidity.
Um, I can somewhat control mymind.
I can control my mind, but Idon't know what limits I'm going
to be pushed to.
Um, I've put in the work, so Ifeel like my body is ready, but
(31:31):
you still have that doubt Is itreally ready?
You know, I don't know.
I'm going to find out, buteverything I've done to this
point to train for this, I'vedone pretty much by myself.
I'm going to be with 15 otherpeople.
We're going to be in teams.
I'm going to meet, hopefully,like-minded people, maybe crazy
(31:52):
as me to do something like this,and I'm excited for that.
I'm excited to be able to feedoff of them.
Hopefully they can feed off ofme.
There's going to be times whenI'm sure we're going to need
each other, but I'm stillanxious, excited.
You know all those emotions youtalked about when you, you know
you talked about yourgrandfather fighting in a war.
(32:15):
You know the not knowing.
You know pain is coming.
You know suffering is comingand, in his instance, potential
death.
But what if you get past that?
What is next?
Speaker 5 (32:28):
That's what I'm doing .
It's the hope of somethingbetter.
That's correct.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
What am I going to learn from this?
Who am I going to meet that Imay have never met in my life
without doing something likethis.
So that's why I'm doing it.
I'm doing it to bust throughthat wall wherever it may be.
So I don't know where we gotoff or where I got off.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
I don't know, but that's what this was the
conversation we were havingbefore when, all of a sudden,
you decided to start the podcast, like right away.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
But what I was about to say I'm sure Kevin will edit
that out.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
But in my mind, my main thing that I was thinking
of is, for me, like knowing you,knowing the type of person you
are, like to hear you say theword that you have doubt.
It's like man, like I have zerodoubt that you're going to do
this, like just knowing A yourmindset, like B the work you put
into it, and I feel like youhave, you've been training alone
(33:21):
, you know this whole time,you've been doing everything
alone and then that you're goingto have somebody like you're
going to have people there to gowith.
Yeah, and I guarantee, if oneperson finishes that like,
you're going to be right therewith them, like I have zero
doubt.
Speaker 5 (33:35):
Something you just said, ben, brings to mind the
thought of integrity.
You know, you, or Dan, I thinkyou're showing the highest level
of personal integrity.
Yeah, you know cause if you doit alone.
You know I think we're going toget into integrity, probably a
little later here, but or maybethis will lead into it.
You know, it's easier to haveintegrity with other people.
(34:00):
You know my coworkers, my wife,my family, my church family.
With others, it's pretty easyfor me to have integrity because
they're watching, they're goingto see the results.
But what about with myself, thisself-integrity, and I want to
tie this into freedom.
(34:20):
We've got to come back tofreedom a little bit later.
But when you're alone, that'swhen you're really questioned,
that's when you reallydemonstrate.
Am I a person of integrity ornot?
And for today's segment, I'mnot even talking about integrity
that we have with others.
I think most people that arelistening to this podcast today,
they probably have a very highlevel of integrity with others.
(34:44):
But what I want to look at isourselves.
Do I have a high level ofself-integrity, that I hold
myself to a very high standard?
And then, when no one else iswatching, what am I doing?
Does it, does it meet up withthe habits that I want to
project, and does that tellsomeone else?
At the end of the day, that'swho that person is.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Yeah, that's that's powerful.
I mean yeah, that's that'spowerful.
I mean I, you know.
The other thing that I hopethat comes from me going through
this and doing this is I hopethat it inspires others and not
not inspires them to go out anddo what I'm doing, but maybe
(35:30):
inspires them to get off thecouch, maybe inspires them to
take that step, maybe inspiresthem to reach out to a son or a
daughter that they haven'ttalked to in a long time, a
family member, a brother or asister that maybe they have a
severed relationship forwhatever reason.
(35:51):
I'm not doing it to motivate you.
I'm not doing it so that youcan start developing a
discipline.
I'm doing it because I hopethat you find some inspiration
that inspires you to helpsomeone else.
That's the whole reason thatwe're doing this podcast.
That's the whole reason thatI'm going to go do the rite of
(36:12):
passage and put my, my mind andmy body through pain is because
I hope to.
My whole goal is to help makeour community in this world a
better place, and if I can do itby putting myself through a
little bit of pain and talkingabout it, I mean I'm just a farm
(36:34):
kid from Preble County, ohio.
Three years ago I was almost300 pounds.
I have five kids.
We got 20 employees.
Life is can be very chaotic,but if I can do it, there is no
reason you can't do it.
Speaker 5 (36:52):
So everything you just said I'll kind of summarize
no more excuses, that's right,and I'm not going to allow the
ceiling that I have today defineme.
I'm going to break through thatceiling.
That broken ceiling creates thenext new floor.
It does.
And that's that's what I'mexcited that can take shape and
(37:12):
form in a lot of different ways.
Just like you said, maybesomebody doesn't go out and do a
24 hour hike, but maybe theyuncover something in their life
that you know has beendebilitating.
You know, like you mentionedwith maybe there's family
members that they don't have arelationship with, or maybe
there's bad habits that need tobe broken, disorders.
(37:35):
So it's time to not settle oraccept excuses.
Break through that.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
That's right, yeah, so with that, let's talk about
balance.
Do you believe in balance, oris it just something that people
say to make them feel better?
Speaker 5 (37:58):
All right.
Well, this, this, I think,could become a pretty deep
subject, so I think for today,we'll maybe keep it a little
more on the surface.
I don't remember when this ideaof work-life balance came to be
.
I started hearing this a fewyears ago and I kind of jumped
on that bandwagon.
(38:18):
It sounded good, and I'vetalked to several different
people and I look back now and,really, what I had to offer them
, I don't think it helped themat all.
Maybe it might've even made thematter even worse.
Because when we think aboutwork-life balance and what that
means, it's well, okay, in onearea of your life you have work,
and if you're highly motivated,if you're very passionate about
(38:41):
that work, it can become veryconsuming, and to a degree it
should be.
We should be very passionate,we should put a lot of effort
into our occupation.
And then when you think about,well, how does that impact my
family?
Well, you can have such animbalance that one area of your
life or any other habit it couldbe your exercise, it could be
(39:05):
anything that you love to do,that you're passionate about it
can become a problem in that ittakes so much time away from
your family.
So that's that whole concept ofwork-life balance.
How do you make sure thatyou're not impacting one in a
very negative sense just touphold the other?
I've since had a differentthought or different idea about
(39:29):
that.
You know, we need alignment inour lives.
Balance is one thing, but if weare not aligned, we all have
different things in our livesthat define us, whether it's by
our habits or our occupations,the things that we do every day,
habitually, repetitively.
That defines us.
(39:50):
So we need to have alignment inall of those areas.
I'll take work, for example.
We might work 40, 50, 60, somepeople 70 hours a week.
Well, there's no way you'regoing to be able to devote that
same amount of time to the otherareas of your life.
And and I in the past I've kindof, I've almost, brutalized
(40:13):
myself with guilt because I putso much effort into that one
aspect of my life Well then,that means I'm taking away from
all the other areas of my life.
So there's not balance.
So I I I've dealt with a lot ofguilt over that, but what we
really should be focusing on istheir alignment and what I'm
doing right now.
(40:34):
So obviously I'm face-to-facewith you too.
Am I present?
Am I totally intentional andfocused on on the moment.
Yeah, later today I've gotother things that I'll be doing
and I need to be intent andfocused and deliberate in those
moments.
So alignment to me is what I'mdoing today.
(40:55):
Is it what is critical for themoment, and am I doing it to the
very best that I can in a waythat impacts another person?
And to me, alignment reallydoesn't have a whole lot to do
with me.
It's taking my gifts, mytalents and my abilities, and
how do I transfer that energy toothers so that they're lifted
(41:17):
up?
Speaker 3 (41:18):
That's a good point.
What about you, Ben?
What do you think about balance?
Speaker 4 (41:21):
I had alignment as well, actually about just
alignment as the alignment ofyour priorities.
I feel like which is differentthan the balance, like the work
life balance.
You know, as soon as you gethome, you turn off work.
Well, that's not necessarilytrue, cause there's times where
you work, you know, kids go tobed.
Now it's time I can work again,you know, um.
(41:42):
But I feel like it kind of thesame thing as alignment, just in
a different kind of view, whereyou know it's priorities and as
long as I keep those, thatalignment, the same of faith's
first, like, no matter how myday is, the first thing I want
to have is my faith.
Second is my family which goes,my wife and then my kids, cause
(42:03):
I feel like you know Dan justshared a post about that, you
know today that we talked aboutyou got to keep your wife and
then your kids, and then afterthat you know work and your
mission after that.
And I feel like, as long as youkeep that aligned, no matter
how it is throughout the day, Ifeel like you know that's what I
feel like is more importantthan the balance.
Speaker 5 (42:24):
So what's at the very center of all of that for you,
the very center of Everythingyou do, everything you just
mentioned, what is at the center?
That's the most important.
Speaker 4 (42:35):
Most important for me is my faith, my relationship
with Jesus.
Yes, sir, I mean, but that, andI feel like that is every other
place in that alignment, though.
You know what I mean Like am Ipreaching the gospel at work to
people that you know?
And probably not, but am Itrying to do my job in a way
that I believe would the waythat jesus would, yeah, like, is
(42:56):
he glorified?
right, exactly, your workexactly you know, and I feel
like, no matter what, if I dothat, am I loving my wife that
same exact way.
Through that, through my faith,am I loving him the way that
Jesus said love the church.
You know, and, and so I feellike, as long as that, that is
the center of everything youknow.
Before we got married, we had auh had to go through like a
(43:18):
class.
You know they used to do it allthe time before you get married
, and that was the one thingthat they said you know, no
matter where you're at in lifewith your wife, with your kids,
as long as you and your wife areon the same page with who's in
the center of Jesus, and thattriangle is always going to be
complete.
You know, you guys can alwaysmeet in the center.
Ground of Jesus is the mainthing.
So, yeah, that's kind of where.
(43:40):
Where I am, though, with thealignment whole thing that he
will, that whole thing willalign you.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I agree.
Yeah, I think when you're, whenyou're chasing a purpose, if
you're, if you're building abusiness, if you're raising a
family, if you're leading others, uh, in in business or faith or
whatever it is, something isalways going to get more of your
time than the other.
And I don't that's not failure.
I think that's focus.
(44:05):
And again, it goes back to youknow, focusing on what we're
doing right now, being present,being in the moment.
Um, I think balance assumeseverything should get equal
weight, but the real leadershipmeans knowing what needs your
weight right now.
That's.
I think that's key ineverything, and I think
sometimes people use balance asa way to justify comfort or to
(44:28):
avoid doing the hard things.
I think I think it's sometimesused as an excuse, but I think
we know that that growth growthcomes from discomfort, um, and
you can't always balance growthand comfort.
One's going to give you know,and I think you both hit on that
.
So let's ask this have you everlet go of something to stay
(44:51):
aligned with what matters most?
Speaker 5 (44:55):
Yeah, probably the first time I knew that that's
what was actually happening wasshortly after Sandy and I were
married.
There was a friend group goodpeople.
After Sandy and I were married,there was a friend group good
people.
But in order for me to stayaligned and stay true to her and
(45:16):
to where I felt like my lifewas going, I had to let go of
that and that was kind of a hardthing.
But there's no regret in that,as long as you're aligned with
the direction and the coursethat you feel like God has for
you, and I think that's going tobe something that's lifelong.
There's been other friendgroups along the way.
(45:39):
As you grow, as you mature, asyour passions realign to
different movements or differentaspects throughout life, it's
going to introduce you to newpeople, new opportunities.
So I think that's going to besomething that'll be constant in
order to stay aligned.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
That's good, Ben.
Have you ever let somethinggood go to stay aligned with
what matters most?
Speaker 4 (46:04):
Yeah, so back when I was a sales rep, there was an
opportunity in Texas where theywanted me to go out there and be
a sales manager.
It was, you know, it's more pay, more responsibilities and
everything.
But, like I said, what's numbernumber two on my alignment list
that I have is family.
So if we were to move to Texas,we don't have any family that
our kids won't know theirgrandparents, you know.
(46:26):
So we decided's not the the bestopportunity to go with and yeah
, it was a temptation, thoughI'm sure, oh yeah, yeah, I mean
every winner you think about,but no, I mean for sure.
And then that's that's what itwas it was.
You know, our companies gotbought out by there are two
competitors, and then onecompany came and bought both of
(46:47):
us.
One was on a commission scale.
The other One was on acommission scale.
The other one was not on acommission scale, which was
where I was.
So that was their pitch waswell, you can come work for our
company, we'll make you a salesmanager.
Out in Arlington we're buildinga brand-new building and we
thought about it.
But then it's like you know,those grandparents are only
around for so long and mygrandpa was my biggest, you know
, my best friend growing up andnot going to take away that from
(47:10):
my kids.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
So good decision.
Speaker 4 (47:13):
Yeah, I think so.
Now I work for a glass companywith a boss that's just a jerk,
just kidding.
Well, played.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
That's me, you know.
For me I go back to three yearsago.
My diet was dreadful, and itwas dreadful because it was
comfortable.
You know, I ate whatever Iwanted, not good ice cream,
chips, carbs, all this stuff.
That man tastes good, but itwas not good for me, and when I
(47:45):
finally had that come to Jesusmoment where I was like, all
right, having a big old bowl ofice cream at nine o'clock at
night is not good for yourhealth.
And if you want to improve yourmind and your body and and the
leader that you want to be andand, uh, to be fulfilled in life
, and um, you gotta, you gotta,cut that stuff out.
(48:06):
And I knew it, I knew that'swhat I had to do, but boy was it
hard, you know, and I thinkthat's hard.
So that was hard for you togive up.
Oh my gosh, yeah, I was like acrack addict.
Speaker 5 (48:20):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, and I would have ice cream a
couple of times a day and notjust a little tiny bowl you were
serious, I was going to get mymoney's worth.
Speaker 3 (48:27):
Um, yeah, it's hard, and I haven't had it for I don't
know, since I was 2022.
Uh, and I don't crave it at all, but boy, you know I, it was
just one of those things, it wasa comfort thing.
You know, I was a stress eater,um, and that was something I
knew I had to get past.
Speaker 5 (48:43):
Do you ever see yourself going back to it?
Speaker 3 (48:46):
I'm never going to say never, but not today.
Speaker 5 (48:49):
Yes, sir, I don't see you ever going back.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
Yeah, yeah.
So I don't know, you know, Ithink, hopefully, that I've
developed a discipline where I,um, you know, can withstand that
temptation.
But I know I'm human, you know,so I know I'm not going to do
it today.
Speaker 5 (49:07):
Well'll help hold you accountable.
Thank, you.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
I need that, All right.
So to tie this all backtogether with freedom and what
today is, with 4th of July andour independence, um, how do we
teach the next generation thatour freedom isn't free Because
we've we've had a lot of safetyand security the last 20 years,
(49:35):
you know we haven't necessarilygoing back to September 11th um,
you know, been fairlycomfortable in America, probably
too comfortable.
So how do we teach this nextgeneration that freedom's not
free, but that it starts witheach one of us?
So talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 5 (49:58):
Yeah.
So I want to take a more of aself-introspective look on this,
because I think it comes downto each individual and as
parents, and for myself now, asa grandparent, I feel like I
have that responsibility toteach and train my kids, my
grandkids, these concepts.
And I think it comes back tointegrity, and that might sound
(50:22):
crazy.
Well, how do you tie integritywith freedom?
And so let me expand on that.
So earlier we were talkingabout this idea of
self-regulated integrity.
So, in other words, there's alot of ways that you can define
what is integrity.
If I ask 10 different people,I'm going to get 10 different
(50:42):
answers, and probably all 10would be right.
But if you really boil thatdown, to me integrity means this
I do what I say, that I'm goingto do.
When I say I'm going to do it,whether or not anyone else is
watching, it's just that simple.
So, as an individual, againI'll go back to what I said
(51:05):
earlier.
For you, ben, it's easy for meto be a person of integrity to
you, because you're going toknow immediately whether I was
or not and you'll judge me forthat.
I don't want to be judged byyou in a negative light.
So I'm going to be a person ofintegrity to you.
Integrity to you probably everytime, same with you, dan, or
other people around me in mylife.
(51:27):
But what about when it's justme, when it's something that
I've said in my mind this iswhat I'm going to do?
Am I going to do it everysingle time?
And so how do we do that?
Well, we self-regulate, weself-moderate.
That goes back to for you, yourchallenge was food.
I've never really had that.
(51:48):
I've had other things that I'vehad to deal with, but never
been tempted by food.
But we learned to self-regulateand then, through those
patterns, that becomes a habit.
What have we just done?
Through that process, we'vemade ourselves accountable, not
to anyone else, because this isreally what it boils down to.
(52:08):
I've now held myselfaccountable to myself, and that
is when you achieve true freedom, when you are able to move and
navigate through life beingself-regulated, self-moderated
(52:33):
every time, holding myselfaccountable to a higher level,
higher degree.
Then I now have freedom that Ididn't ever have before.
Now that might sound a littlebit crazy.
So what do we mean by thisfreedom?
Well, so let's go back to thosein the American Revolution.
What were they trying to getout from under.
It was tyranny.
They wanted the freedom to beout from tyranny, and so then,
what is tyranny?
(52:53):
Well, that's oppression.
It's the freedom to not act andlive and decide for yourself.
That's really what tyranny is.
And isn't that exactly what youhad yourself under?
You were bound to the actions,choices you were making with
food, whatever.
Ben, you've probably beenthrough something I've been
(53:16):
through other things thatbecause I was not
self-regulating, notself-moderating my own lifestyle
, I'd brought tyranny on myself,which is just a form of bondage
.
And when we shed that, that tome, is the ultimate freedom.
And we can look all around usand look at different examples
where people they don't havephysical shackles but, they are
(53:40):
shackled.
They are not free to live and bethe person that God has called
them to be because of choices,decisions, patterns and habits.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
That's good.
What about you, Ben?
Speaker 4 (53:56):
That's really powerful.
I feel like when you talk aboutthat and it's not just a once
you break those chains, thatfreedom's there.
You still have everything thatcreeps into you.
Know that freedom's there, likeyou still have everything that
creeps into your life, that thatbattles, that integrity, you
know I think every day I'vetalked to you about it the
imposter syndrome, like that'sconstant, you know, and no
(54:17):
matter what it's, it's somethingyou just got every day.
Nope, I, I am, who, who I amand who I say I am.
And you know, as long as youstack those, those wins of keep
doing that and making yourself aman of integrity and answering
yourself for accountability,then I feel like that shuts up
the imposter syndrome.
But the devil's really good athis job, so he's going to try to
(54:39):
shackle you with that bondage,no matter what.
I feel like.
Speaker 3 (54:42):
Yeah, I mean for sure I think about the next
generation, like with my, youknow, I make sure they're fully
aware that freedom isn't aboutdoing whatever you want right
and that different people aren'traised in the same home that
you're raised in with the samevalues.
You know, my kids are fortunateenough to live on a farm, to be
(55:04):
able to raise animals andlivestock and to to see that
those animals need them for food, for water, for shelter, for
air and um.
But not everybody's raised likethat and in fact a majority of
people's kids are not, andthat's okay.
But what I tried to instill inmy kids is that, through all
(55:27):
those circumstances thateverybody else is, is brought
into in their lives that to notjudge and to take a step back
when someone says something orsomeone does something that's
out of line or may not be inline with what we believe or
what you would do or what Iwould do, to put yourself in
(55:48):
their, their shoes.
Because once you do that andyou take that step back and you
put yourself in someone else'sshoes, it gives you a whole new
perspective on life and then yousay, okay, I can see why this
person did that.
Um, doesn't mean it's right,Right, but.
But I can see why they did that, and so that's.
(56:08):
I think both your answers aregreat, and I think the personal
responsibility for each of us isso important to show others
that you know freedom does startwith us in our daily lives and,
you know, trying to inspireothers, whether that's through
(56:28):
our actions or our words or justthe people that we are, and
showing that we have highintegrity in our lives.
So good answers.
Last question, and we'll closethis thing up.
I want each of you to answerthis.
One thing I'm committed to thisyear that strengthens my
personal freedom and helpssomeone else experience theirs
(56:49):
is this oh, we're going with mefirst, yeah.
Speaker 5 (56:54):
Uh-oh, you're up this time.
Speaker 4 (56:57):
No, I just intentional, like the discipline
of being intentional,especially with, you know, just
with the family.
Like I feel like that'ssomething that every day I
realize I have one less day toreally impact those kids, you
know, just with the family.
Like I feel like that'ssomething that every day I
realize I have one less day toreally impact those kids, you
know, and especially not just mykids and family, just being
(57:18):
intentional with every kid thatwe come through, whether it's
basketball, football programs.
I mean it seems like every day,when I reflect back on the day,
if I handled stuff the rightway.
Every day there's a chance thatthose kids are, you know,
there's a discipline that theydon't have or a habit that they
have that it's like man, like Icould affect it that if I was
more intentional you know what Imean Like maybe that was a
(57:38):
learning moment, the reason whyGod put me in their life and use
this program to to change theirlife, and so to really reflect
in the moment and be intentionalin that moment so I don't miss
those moments.
I think that's something I youknow a lot of people they coach
and stuff because they love thesport and I do and I love, but I
feel like that's where God hasme Like.
I feel like God puts me inthese situations and these
(58:00):
programs for kids that and yousee it all the time that don't
have, you know, maybe a goodrole model at home or someone
that they're, they don't listento at home.
Right, I mean, maybe they havegood mom and dad, but they just
they don't look up to their momand dad.
But in every program there's atleast one or two that I can
tell that I'm helping change.
And just to make sure that I'mintentional in those moments and
(58:21):
with my own kids, um, that I'mjust intentional whenever
there's a chance that God'swanting to use me in that moment
, to actually do that moment,like be in there, don't miss the
moment, take the shot and andhave it and change their life.
So I think that's my, mydiscipline.
Speaker 5 (58:38):
That's good For me, uh.
Personal development, you know,as I mentioned earlier, I've
been on this I guess I'd call ita journey for about eight
months now.
A lot of self-reflection, Ifeel like a lot of growth
internally, and I've had severalopportunities over the last few
months to work with others intheir personal development space
(59:00):
.
I think I have about fivepeople now that I meet with on a
regular basis, pouring intothem.
Sometimes I feel like I get asmuch in return, uh, as I do in
what I have to offer them, butI'm really grateful for those
opportunities to take those thatare very serious about life,
about their, their passions,their desire to, to give back
(59:23):
and be more.
And if I, if there's in someway that I can help them in that
in their journey, then to methat's going to be a great thing
.
And I, if there's in some waythat I can help them in that in
their journey, then to me that'sgoing to be a great thing, and
I've, I'm really enjoying that.
Speaker 3 (59:33):
Yeah that's awesome the thing for me and it's kind
of a popular thing If you're, ifyou listen to any of the, you
know the inspirational gurus outthere on the all the social
medias is.
But it is true for me as justbeing more present and again, I
think that's why God put us heretoday and this past year with
(59:56):
the podcast, was to force me tobe more present.
But I want to be more presentwith my family.
You know you made a good pointabout turning off the phone when
you get home.
That that's difficult for me.
Um, it's difficult, um, in themorning and the evening it's,
it's I feel that pull and I knowthat it's going to be there the
(01:00:17):
next day when I wake up.
But it's, it's challengingbecause you know, you feel like
you know my whole life I've beenable to.
When someone's sent me amessage or a phone call, I've
been able to respond instantly.
Um, but to recognize I don'thave to.
I need to be present in themoment today I need to be
present when I get to the office.
I need to be present at home.
(01:00:38):
Most importantly at home, Ineed to be present when I'm at
church, I need to be presentwhen I'm praying and um.
So that's.
That's.
The big thing for me is just tocontinue to work on that, to be
more present and to listen.
So that's where I'm at.
I think all three are good forsure.
(01:00:58):
Freedom isn't found in doingwhatever we want.
It's found in doing what'sright, even when it's hard.
True independence begins withdiscipline, grows through
service and lasts when we livefor something bigger than
ourselves.
As we close this specialIndependence Day episode, we
want to say a sincere thank youto the men and women who have
(01:01:20):
served and continue to serve toprotect the freedoms we so often
take for granted.
Your sacrifice makes itpossible for us to worship
freely, speak openly and liveboldly.
We do not take that lightly andwe honor you today and every
day, so we thank you.
So happy 4th of July toeveryone out there.
(01:01:41):
Be safe today for all youfireworks crazies out there who
like to blow up your money.
Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
Pyromaniacs yeah have fun with that.
Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
I'll spend my money in other ways.
Brian, we thank you for yourtime today.
Thank you, Thank you for yourfriendship and for being open
and vulnerable.
I think it's important and Ithink, with the AI technology
that we are in right now andit's coming, whether you like it
or not I think vulnerability issomething that will never go
away and it's coming whether youlike it or not.
I think vulnerability issomething that will never go
away and it's something thatothers will be attracted to.
(01:02:13):
So I think that helps ourpodcast, that helps the
connection between men, betweenwomen, and sharing those stories
.
So, everybody, we ask that youcontinue.
Please share these episodes toothers out there who need it.
I hope that you find itinspiring and, if you do, we ask
that you share.
So go out and be tempered.
Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad, Dan.
He owns Catron's Glass.
Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
Thanks, Allie.
Things like doors and windowsgo into making a house, but when
it's your home you expect morelike the great service and
selection you'll get fromCatron's Glass Final replacement
.
Windows from Catron's come witha lifetime warranty, including
accidental glass breakagereplacement.
Also ask for custom showerdoors and many other products
and services.
Call 962-1636.
Locally owned, with localemployees for nearly 30 years.
(01:03:02):
Catron's Glass the clear choice.
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