October 23, 2025 • 45 mins
Doubt has a way of sounding smart. It whispers that you’re a fraud, that you got lucky, that someone else would have done it better. On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr challenge that voice head-on as they unpack how labels, setbacks, and perfectionism feed imposter syndrome and how faith, community, and honest storytelling cut it down to size.
We start with the hard truth that many of us chase achievement while starving for fulfillment. A bank’s refusal once said, “You’re not ready,” but perseverance and a second chance became a decades-long lesson in grit and responsibility. That same weight now shows up in leadership because hiring someone means serving the family behind their name. Along the way, we explore how vulnerability unlocks healing for both the speaker and the listener, sharing messages from people moved by recent guest stories of grief, resilience, and hope.
From sobriety to simple rhythms that pull you through hard days, Dan and Ben get practical. Plan for storms before they hit, stack small wins, and change one thing to break isolation. Scripture anchors the message in courage and identity through Ephesians 2:10, 2 Timothy 1:7, and 2 Corinthians 12:9–10, while time in nature reminds us that perspective can heal what pressure distorts. A father-son trip becomes a rite of passage when a 13-year-old battles a shark and a dad learns to stop forcing perfect moments and let God lead them.
If doubt has been loud lately, let this be your reminder: you are not an accident, you are not behind, and you are not disqualified.
Press play, share this with someone who needs courage today, and join our growing community on Patreon at patreon.com/betempered
for daily posts, behind-the-scenes updates, and live streaming access to every episode.
Learn more and listen at betempered.com
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_04 (02:09):
Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we
explore the art of findingbalance in a chaotic world.
SPEAKER_05 (02:14):
Join us as we delve into insightful conversations,
practical tips, and inspiringstories to help you navigate
life's ups and downs with graceand resilience.
SPEAKER_04 (02:22):
We're your host, Dan Schmidt, and Ben Sparr.
Let's embark on a journey tolive our best lives.
SPEAKER_05 (02:29):
This is Be Tempered.
SPEAKER_04 (02:30):
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to the Be TemperedPodcast, episode number 76.
Sure.
SPEAKER_05 (02:37):
Sure.
SPEAKER_04 (02:40):
Hey, today's episode is just Ben and me.
No guess, no script, just honestconversation about where life is
right now.
We've both been thinking aboutthis idea enough.
That voice that says, Who am Ito do this?
Or am I really making adifference?
We want to talk about thattoday, about imposter syndrome,
(03:03):
about fulfillment, and aboutwhat it means to find peace
where God has you, even when youdon't feel qualified.
So with that, Ben, impostersyndrome.
We've we've talked about that alot over the past 75 episodes,
and um especially one of thosethings that I feel a lot doing
(03:25):
the podcast, I feel a lot inbusiness.
And so I this morning I lookedup what is the definition of
imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is apsychological pattern where an
individual doubts theiraccomplishments and has a
persistent internal fear ofbeing exposed as a fraud.
Despite evidence of theircompetent or competence or
(03:47):
success, people experienceimposter syndrome often
attribute their achievements toluck or timing rather than
ability.
They feel undeserving of theirsuccess.
Fear being found out or notliving up to others'
expectations, struggle withperfectionism or overworking to
(04:07):
prove themselves.
It's common among highachievers, students,
professionals, and leaders, andit can be can affect confidence,
performance, and mental healthif left unchecked.
Is that how you feel?
SPEAKER_05 (04:20):
Yeah.
What's what I think is crazy isbecause first time I heard
imposter syndrome, it might havebeen the first time we sat down
uh to interview, was the firsttime I think we talked about
imposter syndrome.
And uh I never had heard of itbefore.
Um and then we talked about 75Hard doing that, and then you
hear Andy Frisella talk aboutit.
And um, so the first time Ireally had it was probably when
(04:41):
I started trying to do likeweight transformation.
I think that was when I first uhstarted I shouldn't say first
started feeling it, but that'swhen it really kind of
identified with it, you knowwhat I mean?
Um I don't know if that makessense.
SPEAKER_04 (04:54):
So so you when you say weight like trying to lose
weight.
SPEAKER_05 (04:57):
Right, right.
So, you know, it that was when Iwould say that's when I first as
an adult felt it.
But then you go back to as a kidand all that stuff.
And you know, when I think backto kids these days and already
people like classifying them,putting them in certain bubbles,
what you can do, putting theirceilings on them, I feel like
(05:20):
that's where imposter syndromestarts in a lot of people.
SPEAKER_04 (05:22):
Yeah, like hey, this is the smart kid, right?
Or this is the athletic kid.
Like this is all they can do,they can't be a combination of
everything.
SPEAKER_05 (05:29):
Yeah, or Lil Johnny, what's what's your dream?
What do you want to do when yougrow up, you know, and they're
in third grade, and it's like,well, I want to play quarterback
for, you know, the buckeyes, andit's like, well, that's not a
realistic dream.
You're never gonna get it, sodon't do it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And there's sadly there's peoplein the world that that put
labels on kids and and putceilings on kids.
And yeah.
(05:49):
So I mean, looking back, I feellike that's where imposter
syndrome starts.
But then, you know, then you getto weight transformation or
whatever happens, and you'redieting.
It's why are you doing that?
Why?
Why?
That's not you, you know what Imean?
It's not you.
And I feel like that's when asan adult you start feeling it,
or that's that's when I reallystart feeling it.
SPEAKER_04 (06:09):
When that doubt starts to creep in and then you
question yourself.
I mean, I I battled that well mywhole life, you know, with with
you know, same thing like you,where your weight would
fluctuate up and down and up anddown, and you'd start something
and you'd be good for two weeks,and then you'd get to a weekend
and you go to a party, and youknow, you're thinking, man, just
a couple beers tonight andeating whatever food, and and
(06:32):
then before you know it, you'reoff the wagon and you're you're
back in a hole again.
And that's it, that impostersyndrome, that's that doubt.
That's that's the devil creepingin, really, is what it is, just
telling you you can't do this.
Like, why are you doing this?
Yeah, you're not good enough todo this.
You can't, you can't, you know,be persistent in what you need
to do and be consistent in yourdaily endeavors to be able to
(06:54):
work through when that doubtcreeps in.
SPEAKER_05 (06:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (06:57):
I've got an example.
So when I was um 24 years old,and we had found out about
Katron's glass, about thebusiness being for sale.
My parents came and looked atthe business, and I may have
told some of this story before.
Dad called me and said, Hey, Ithink you need to come up here
and check this out.
(07:18):
So Kim and I did.
We came up from Cincinnati wherewe were living at the time, and
and we met with Jim Catron, thethe owner, and uh, you know,
looked at the building, and man,that was like, this is it.
Like, this is what we need todo.
Let's do it.
And and when I get somethinglike that in my mind, I'm a
hundred mile an hour toaccomplish whatever that goal
(07:38):
is.
And so I was.
And um, you know, so then we gotinto the the nuts and bolts of
the deal and the purchase andworking with the bank.
And we were working with uh myparents' bank.
So they they were gonna co-signbecause I was 24 years old.
Kim and I weren't married yet,and we didn't have a lot of
money, so they were co-signingfor us.
(08:00):
And I remember um, you know, wemet with a couple of different
banks and and we were I I wasconfident in my mind, and maybe
it's because of my youth and myinexperience, and just I didn't
I didn't really know what theheck I was doing.
I mean, I had no business umowning a owning a business then
at that age, and didn't knowwhat I was getting into, didn't
know the whole finance and theaccounting background.
(08:20):
I just knew that I was gonna dowhatever it took to make that
happen and to make it work.
But I'll never forget where Iwas at.
Uh, I was on Toby Road and itwould have been uh the summer of
2003, and I was driving and Igot a call on my cell phone,
cell phone from uh my parents'banker.
And uh I could tell by the toneof his voice, he was leading me
(08:46):
into turning me down for theloan to buy the business.
And he said, he said, Dan, thiswill be an uphill battle for you
the rest of your life.
And he said, We don't want tosee your parents lose everything
that they've worked for, youknow, to make this deal happen.
And so we're declining the loanfor you to purchase the
business.
And that was a gut punch.
(09:10):
I mean, it was I remember who itwas that called me.
I remember the conversation.
Again, I remember where I wasat, and I was the whole time
leading up to that.
Man, I was gung-ho.
I was excited.
You know, I had a great job downin Cincinnati.
I was making good money, I wasdoing well.
And uh here I had flipped thescript.
(09:31):
Now I'm gonna build something,right?
I'm gonna take something that'sthat's got a good foundation and
it's gonna be mine, and I'mgonna, I'm gonna grow it and
we're gonna build it.
And that's all I was thinkingabout.
I thought the loan was just anafterthought.
Like, this is why would this nothappen?
Right.
And then all of a sudden, I gettold no.
And the doubt starts to creepin.
(09:54):
You know, like, okay, maybe he'sright.
You know, what am I doing?
Is this really a smart decision?
You know, is this gonna put myparents in a bad situation?
And that lasted for maybe a day.
And then I was right back intonope, I'm gonna find the next
bank.
And so luckily, um, the bankthat had the um the all the the
(10:17):
accounts for Catron's glass tooka chance on a 24-year-old kid.
And um, you know, here we are,you know, 20 plus years later.
But um, that was an experiencethat um I I hadn't really felt
before in my life where I was,you know, I was so just gung-ho
and eager and felt like I can dothis.
(10:38):
And I knew I knew I could do it,but then just a simple little
phone call just plants that seedof doubt.
And uh there's not a day thatgoes by that I don't think about
that phone call.
SPEAKER_05 (10:50):
What uh what what kind of transformed after like a
day?
Like what made you think like,okay, nope, I do got this.
I can like it was it yourparents?
SPEAKER_04 (10:58):
Was it no?
I I think it was just thecompetitor in me, you know,
always being an athlete, uh, youknow, as a young kid and in high
school and then in the college,the competitor was like, you're
not gonna tell me no.
Yeah, watch me.
Yeah, watch me prove you wrong.
And uh, and I did.
(11:19):
And so, but I still have that inmy mind.
I still remember that phonecall.
I still use that as a little bitof motivation when that doubt
creeps in.
I mean, we're in we're in a biggrowth spot right now with the
business.
We've got a lot of excitingthings going on, but man, you
want to talk about as an owner,you know, uh, you know, I talked
(11:41):
to you about it.
I talked to some of the peoplethat that might be joining our
team here in in 2026 about, youknow, I'm not just hiring them.
Right.
I'm hiring their family, right?
There's a there's a hugeresponsibility that I feel when
I bring someone on.
You know, when I hired you, itwasn't just hiring Ben Sparr,
(12:01):
you know, it's it's Lisa, it'sJude, it's Cy, it's Evi, it's
the whole family because youknow, so many people can be
affected in a positive way or anegative way if we succeed or we
fail.
And so that's a it's a heavyburden.
And so I I'm constantly everyday, I'm hit with with some type
of doubt or some type of anxietythat says, What are you doing?
(12:24):
You know, the podcast is anotherexample.
I mean, we sit here, we talkabout it walking up this
morning, how you, you know, youget nervous.
Oh, yeah.
I get nervous too, you know,sitting here and I mean, we're
we're exposing our thoughts andour feelings and and stories of
our lives to the world.
And um, but the fulfillment inthat comes from the messages
(12:48):
that we receive from people, youknow, after you you interview
someone like Sean Rubush orChuck Winings, who we had on
last week, uh Misty Hollis.
I mean, every single personthat's been on here, it's such
an amazing feeling to be able towatch them tell their story, to
(13:12):
have that relief, you know, tokind of let everything out, to
put it all out there foreveryone to hear.
And then like Chuck.
I keep going back to Chuckbecause how that all happened so
quickly, you know, for for himto come up and talk to us and
thank us for putting out thepodcast.
(13:33):
And then the next week he andhe's in my office and we're
talking, and then the next weekwe're recording, and then the
next week it gets released.
And we saw him on Friday.
SPEAKER_05 (13:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (13:42):
And how amazing was it to see the smile on his face
and to know the day that he hadbecause of how many people
listen to his story about thelove of his life, losing the
love of his life, right?
You know, being a single fathernow, raising, you know, two two
boys in college and a younger10-year-old daughter.
(14:04):
Um, but to to know, you know,the transformation that he's
going through in his life.
I mean, that those are the youknow, if if the devil comes in
and says, You're no good atthis, when we have someone like
Chuck come on and share theirstory and you just watch them
flourish, and uh it's it's sucha fulfilling thing.
SPEAKER_05 (14:26):
Yeah.
Yeah, Chuck's seeing Chuck'stransformation's been awesome.
And when he talks to us and hetalks about you know, all the
people getting, you know,texting him.
I was right by him when um oneof his son's baseball teammates
texted him.
And it was one that he hadn'ttalked to in a while, he
transferred to you know, OhioState and texted him, and you
can just see it in Chuck's eyeswhen he was reading it, how much
(14:49):
it meant to him.
SPEAKER_04 (14:50):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:50):
And then so you have that aspect of it, knowing how
much and he's feeling the love,how much you know it meant to
people that he opened up and thevulnerability and how many
people he's helping in that way.
But then you see like the otheraspect, like you see how much
it's helping Chuck, like smilingear to ear, like just feeling
it's almost like he got theweight of the world off him.
Like, you know, for a while itfelt like he was battling it
(15:11):
inside and got this pain,doesn't know what to do with
this pain.
And then, you know, you readSean's book, Earn of Payment and
Purpose, and then he said hejust basically binge-read it,
like he couldn't stop readingit.
And then now to see where he'sgoing, I mean, I there's a lot,
God's got a lot to do withChuck.
Like Chuck's buried to help alot of people.
He is, and he is on fire rightnow.
SPEAKER_04 (15:32):
He is, he is on fire.
And and you know, you you thinkback to that, you know.
So I, you know, I talk about thethe story of trying to get the
business purchased.
We talk about the beginning ofthe podcast, you know, all these
things in in my life that led upto bringing you on to the team,
to Catron's Glass team.
And then, you know, that's inreturn starts the podcast.
(15:54):
That in return gets the wheelsturning for Sean Rubush to tell
his story and then write a book.
And then Chuck happens to seethe name of the book, Turning
Pain into Purpose, and he's in ahole in his life, right?
He starts thinking, he startslistening to to Sean's story,
and then he decides he wants totell his story.
(16:17):
So, you know, there's so manypeaks and valleys in life, and
it's not to say that Chuck's notgonna have hard days, or Sean's
not gonna have hard days, or youor me are not.
We are, right?
We do.
And in fact, probably every daywe have moments where it's just
like what am I doing?
Yeah, what am I doing?
But you just gotta keep goingand you gotta recognize that
(16:40):
it's it's those those times inlife when you feel like you're
an imposter.
Yeah, you feel that doubt thatno, I'm okay.
This is just a learning moment.
I'm gonna keep growing and I'mgonna get better because of it.
So that's that's you know, thething with the imposter
syndrome.
When I when I hear that, Ithink, I think it's just it's
(17:01):
just doubt creeping in, and thenit's that's the devil just
trying to tell you that uh youcan't do it.
But if but it second Corinthiansverse 12 through nine says, My
grace is sufficient for you, formy power is made perfect in
weakness.
That's pretty powerful.
SPEAKER_05 (17:19):
Yeah.
And that's what I feel likethat's the way I view imposter
syndrome as well, is the devilis you know, the king of lies.
Like that's the one thing he'sgood at.
And so I feel like that's wherehe comes at me, you know, comes
at people with an impostersyndrome.
And then there's just thosevoices that are in your life
every day, you know.
(17:40):
It might be your wife, coworker,um, kid you're coaching, or a
teammate.
Um they don't try to, butthey'll they'll say something
that kind of feeds into that liethat the devil's using at you.
You know, you you might betrying to become a better
husband, maybe, and then all ofa sudden your wife says
something that just, you know,the devil's sitting there
saying, Wait, you're not a goodhusband, like let's not forget
(18:01):
where you're at, or you're not agood father.
And then your kid or your wifejust says that one thing and
it's almost validates thedevil's point.
And then you just gotta remindyourself that that's it's
imposter syndrome.
That's what he's trying to do.
And then you anchor yourself inverses like that, you know.
SPEAKER_04 (18:16):
Well, and the other thing too is, you know, you
think about all the people thatcome up here and sit at this
table.
You know, what do they all say?
I don't have a story.
I don't have a story, I'm sonervous.
I don't know why I'm up here, Idon't know why I'm doing this.
That means they're the rightperson, right?
Because that's the devil insideof them put planting that seed
(18:38):
of doubt, telling them, youknow, what you've done in your
life, what you've been throughin your life is not gonna help
someone.
Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_05 (18:44):
Right.
Yeah, yeah, and that's what John8, 4, 4, there's no truth in
him.
For he is a liar and he's thefather of lies.
That's always the devil I feellike creeping in.
SPEAKER_04 (18:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (18:56):
And usually he's attacking if you're sitting
there and you're on thesidelines and you're not making
any waves, he'll leave youalone.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04 (19:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (19:03):
But the moment you try to start making yourself
better, making this worldbetter, then he's gonna attack
you and you can expect it.
And if he's attacking you, guesswhat?
Probably doing the right thing.
SPEAKER_04 (19:13):
Well, and here's here's one of the things too.
I I was reading through ournotes here and talks about how
vulnerability leads to healing,both for the the person who's
telling their story and for ourlisteners.
You know, when someone'svulnerable, it's amazing what it
does to others, how it opensthem up and it it humanizes
them.
You know, it humanizes them, ithumanizes their story.
(19:36):
And so on Friday, when Chuck'sthis last Friday, when Chuck's
episode aired, I got all kindsof messages from people.
And this one is is from alistener from Columbus.
And um, I'm just gonna read youwhat she wrote me.
She said, just listen to episode75.
I'm not going to lie, that was agut punch.
I cried all through Chuck'sstory, reliving my husband and
(19:58):
I's journey.
I pray that Chuck finds strengthto get through each and every
day.
Still having kids at home, Ithink, would be a blessing.
We all find strength for ourkids.
Thank you for another greatepisode.
Keep them coming.
I'm downloading the Patreon appsoon, as soon as I hit send.
You know, and you get messageslike that.
(20:18):
You know, it's it's so powerfuland rewarding to know that
there's people out there who tolisten to Chuck's story, to
listen to Misty's story, toDeb's story, to Sean's story, to
all these stories and and areimpacted in a way that, you
know, they take an hour, hourand a half of their day to
listen to someone beingvulnerable.
(20:43):
Someone who, you know, a monthago didn't have the strength to
come in here and sit down,really, to even talk to us man
on man about, you know,difficulties they were facing.
And now it's it's all out there.
And now he's finding strength inthat.
SPEAKER_05 (20:58):
He talked about how it was hard for him to come up
and talk to us that Fridaynight.
I talked to Chuck.
So I met Chuck two years ago,well, going on two years ago.
On Friday nights, I'd see himevery Friday night for recording
the game.
So we talked before and justthat, just to say thank you,
like how hard it was.
And then all of a sudden he didthat, and then yeah, it
snowballed quickly.
SPEAKER_04 (21:17):
It did.
Yeah, it was very powerful.
Yeah, so then we talk aboutfulfillment versus achievement,
redefining success.
So, you know, the tensionbetween chasing success and
finding true contentment.
So, you know, when I when I readthat, I think about the
competitor, right?
(21:37):
Whether it's in sports, it's inbusiness, it's in life, it's in
my fitness, it's in thispodcast.
Like the competitor in me wantsto be the best, wants to be the
best at everything that I do.
And that's that's what I I worktowards and I strive towards.
But what I've what this podcasthas really done for me is to
(21:59):
show me that it's it's not aboutthose achievements.
It's more about thatfulfillment.
It's more about like what wetalked about, like seeing
someone like Sean or like Chuckto watch them, you know, just to
stand back and to watch like allday Friday when Chuck's up.
Like I knew that was going to bea powerful one because that was
one of the first ones where Isat here and it was very, very
(22:22):
difficult for me to hold backthe emotion.
Oh, yeah.
Because we have young kids, youput yourself in that that
situation and you think aboutthat being your wife and how you
would handle all those things.
And that the just I mean, it'sit was it was very, very
difficult, but the fulfillmentto watch him, you know, to watch
him thrive and and to be, youknow, for him to be fulfilled as
(22:45):
well.
It's such an amazing feeling.
And for me, that's a little bitof a transformation is I still
got that competitor in me.
Yeah, I still want to be thebest.
But what's more important is tohelp others share their stories
so that they can be fulfilledand that they can heal and
recover from what they've beenthrough.
So I that's that's one of thethings that I have learned by
(23:08):
doing this.
SPEAKER_05 (23:09):
Yeah.
It's I mean, and there's peoplethat you don't realize that
listen to it that will reachout.
I have two or three friends thatback in school we don't talk at
all.
I mean, we you know, in schoolwe talked and then you grow
apart, and I'll still get justabout weekly texts from them,
weekly messages like, man, youdon't understand how much this
podcast is helping me.
You know, I'm in a dark spotright now, but you know, this is
(23:32):
helping me a lot.
Like, thank you.
And you just don't realize whoare you're helping in.
So it's f you know, fulfilling,like that's fulfillment for me
too, is just the people that youhelp.
And you know, we're multiplyingnow because originally our goal
was one.
You know, first podcast, we'rethanking our parents for
listening, and uh we're movingon.
(23:52):
Now you got people that believein the community, believe in
what we're doing, and yeah,believe in the mission.
Yeah, wanting to subscribe anddo it with us, and it's amazing.
SPEAKER_04 (24:01):
It is amazing, and and man, am I so grateful.
Um, and and again, just tryingto to figure out where where we
take this and where it goes.
We've got a lot of excitingthings coming up in 2026.
And um, you know, just the otherthe other thing is is redefining
what it means to be enough inGod's eyes.
(24:24):
You know, the imposter syndromeand unfulfillment both stem from
the same lie.
You're not enough.
Yeah, we are right.
We're enough.
And and you are enough if you'reout there listening and you feel
like you're lost in the sauce.
I mean, Kevin just shared a youknow, a story with us about uh
about his friend coming out ofum of recovery for the how many
(24:47):
times?
Fourth, fourth time coming outof alcohol recovery.
And where's he at right now?
SPEAKER_01 (24:55):
Back on the sauce.
Doesn't want to quit it.
Bad enough to where you worryabout his health.
Oh yeah.
I mean I if if he was dead rightnow, I wouldn't be surprised.
SPEAKER_04 (25:11):
So what do we do to help people like that?
SPEAKER_01 (25:16):
You can't, other than set an example and
hopefully inspire them becauselike I uh I've mentioned before,
in 2025 we have an abundantamount of resources.
But one percent of you has towant help.
You know?
Your your the first helping handhas to be your own hand.
(25:41):
So without that, I mean you justhope that they can accept some
responsibility andaccountability somehow and then
uh move forward.
SPEAKER_04 (25:52):
But so if he's listening to this, what do you
say to him?
SPEAKER_01 (25:58):
Quit freaking drinking.
Everything else will figureyou'll be able to figure out,
but But you know that's noteasy.
SPEAKER_04 (26:04):
You were in that position.
SPEAKER_01 (26:04):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I hit complete rock bottomthough.
That's and that's the thing.
It's like, are we there yet?
You know?
I feel like some people don'thit rock bottom and then
realize, oh crap, like I have tochange something.
I think I think a lot of us getbailed out right before we hit
(26:27):
rock bottom.
So then we always have thatcrutch in our mind of like, oh,
something or someone will alwaysbail us out.
Organization will always bail usout, something somebody will
bail me out.
But uh at the end of the day,you gotta bail your own ass out
before anybody else can.
SPEAKER_04 (26:46):
Yeah, and uh, you know, that's heavy stuff.
It's um, you know, it's it'schallenging to watch people go
through the fire, you know, andand and actually have had a
couple conversations with somepeople who want to share their
story, but I think they're stillin the fire and trying to
(27:09):
navigate what that looks likefor them and try to help them,
to guide them, to encourage themto continue to, you know, be
vulnerable with their story andto open up and to pray, you
know, to find that person whothey lean on to have a
conversation with and open up uhis important.
(27:31):
And um, you know, there'sthere's just there's a lot of
things to navigate in this lifethat can pull you down.
Again, that doubt, that fear,that anxiety, all those things
that we all face on a dailybasis.
But just continuing to take thatstep to to get out of your, you
know, like Kevin talks about hishis friend, you know, he's
(27:53):
basically in his house with hisblinds closed, right?
You got to get out of thatsituation.
SPEAKER_01 (27:58):
You have to, you, you have to help yourself
somehow before anyone else canhelp you.
SPEAKER_04 (28:02):
Yeah.
Yeah, you got to get out of thatsituation.
So if you feel like you'restuck, change something.
It could be just something aslittle as opening the blinds in
your house, as little as openingup that front door and going
sitting on the front porch.
SPEAKER_01 (28:17):
Well, and we even had the conversations because
you know you got to stack yourgood days and then you're gonna
have bad days.
Um your goal in life is to getthem further and few between.
But I said, even even if you'redepressed, sad, you don't want
to leave your house, you don'twant to leave your bed, you
don't want to leave underneathyour covers, whatever, just
(28:39):
don't drink.
Like if you got to shut the daydown and try to restart
tomorrow, that's fine.
Just don't drink.
Because then those days aregoing to get further and few
between.
But get a game plan for thosedays, you know they're coming.
Right.
You know how can you anchor?
And I I still have we all havethose days.
(29:00):
We all have those days.
Right?
You so it's how you handle thosedays.
unknown (29:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:06):
Do you do you want to multiply them or do you want
to divide them, you know?
SPEAKER_04 (29:12):
Yeah.
Well, we'll continue to pray foryour buddy and hope that man he
can take that step.
And if you're listening, changeyour situation, man.
SPEAKER_05 (29:22):
It's one of the hard things too, I think, trying to
somebody battling likealcoholism or somebody, whatever
it is in life that you'rebattling.
Uh, you know, today we'retalking about imposter syndrome.
One thing I was thinking is howhard it would be to battle
imposter syndrome if I wasn't ifI didn't believe, you know, if I
wasn't a Christian, if I didn'tbelieve in Jesus.
You know what I mean?
(29:42):
Because a lot of the stuff thatI anchor myself with, like if
I'm having a bad day orsomething, who am I?
Like, who am I and I go to theword?
SPEAKER_01 (29:48):
It'd be impossible because you wouldn't have any
hope.
Right.
So exactly.
So as dark and gloomy andeverything as everything can be,
you have to have hope somehow.
Like you have to.
Picture yourself in a betterspot.
You know, you have to have hopeto you have to have something to
grasp to help get you there.
SPEAKER_05 (30:08):
Yeah.
Just something, you know, threeverses that, you know, for we
are his workmanship created inChrist for good works, which God
prepared beforehand, that weshould walk in them.
Ephesians 2 10.
Timothy 1 7, for God gave us aspirit not of fear, but of
power, love, and self-control.
And then 2 Corinthians 12, 9 10.
But he said to me, My grace issufficient for you, for my
(30:30):
powers is made perfect inweakness, for when I am weak,
then I am strong.
You said that one, but mygoodness, like I feel like that
that verse, like we're all weak.
Nobody's perfect.
We all have battles.
We all struggle.
Don't be scared to talk tosomebody about it.
Don't be scared to open up aboutit.
Because when you're weak, thenyou know your faith is strong.
And uh, you know, there's sadly,I you know, I'm at I'm 37.
(30:53):
I've buried quite a bit of myfriends in, you know, tragic car
accidents or you know, drugoverdoses.
And I can tell you the funeralsthat you go to where there's
zero hope, where you know, youdon't know.
SPEAKER_01 (31:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (31:07):
It's the most depressing and the most sad and
heartbreaking, what can I domoments.
And then there's those momentswhere you knew they were a
believer, you knew where theywere going.
And it's just like, yes, itstill sucks for us that they're
not here and stuff like that,but you know there's gonna be a
day where you're gonna be withthem again, and it's those
moments I I you know you hang onto.
(31:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (31:30):
Yeah, hope is a powerful thing, and you know, if
you're out there and you feellike you don't have any hope, go
for a walk.
Be in nature.
You know, I did that yesterday.
I went out and and I hadn't beenin the Arboretum in a week
because we've been on in themiddle of harvest on the farm
and we're very busy at the glassshop.
(31:50):
And I finally got out yesterdayand I was like, no, I'm going
for a walk.
And I got out in nature, and youknow, we had a big season change
here, right?
With 80 degrees on Saturday,Sunday was nothing but just rain
and dreary skies.
Yesterday was beautiful, 60degrees.
You know, it's it's what I wouldsay is perfect weather uh for
(32:12):
me, and the leaves are falling,there's color.
You know, when you get outsideand you get in nature and you
get in God's beauty, it it putsme in a whole different realm.
Doesn't matter what I wentthrough yesterday, doesn't
matter how upset I got aboutsomething that had happened,
(32:32):
that's the time for me just tobe at peace and just to walk and
just to to let things go.
And I think it's it's such ahealing process to do that, to
get out in nature, even if it'sjust going outside, taking your
shoes and socks off and lettingyour feet touch the grass.
Like that can be a healingprocess if you can't get out and
(32:53):
walk.
If you can get out and just justfeel that sunshine, let that
sunshine hit your face.
You know, if you can go for awalk, get outside and go for a
walk, get into nature, you know,be outside, listen to the birds,
notice all those little things.
What Chuck talked about when hewent on vacation after he lost,
lost his wife.
She loved cardinals.
They go to the beach, he walksoutside, and the first thing he
(33:16):
sees at the bottom of the stairswhen they're going to the beach
is a cardinal.
Yeah.
You know, you start to noticethose things when you find hope,
when you start to see positivethings in in life.
You start to notice all thoselittle things.
And is it God?
I don't know.
I'd like to think that it is.
I think I think it's it's Godgiving you signs of, hey, I'm
(33:36):
here.
I'm right beside you.
No matter what, I'm right besideyou.
And so, you know, if if you'refeeling like you're not enough,
you feel like you're unqualifiedto leave, uh, to unqualified to
lead, to make an impact, maybethat's exactly where God wants
you.
Because that where that's wherehe does his best work.
(33:58):
You know, in our darkest,deepest moments, that's when we
really find out who we are.
You know, watching people stepinto freedom has reminded me
that fulfillment doesn't comefrom being recognized, it comes
from being refined.
So what else you got?
SPEAKER_05 (34:16):
I was just gonna say you talked about nature.
Um I we talked about beforeabout the you know, read a book
called Play the Man.
And uh it's all about in in allthese different cultures, you
have a a spot where the boybecomes a man.
You have these um rituals or youknow, uh a time.
Well, play the man, you know,there's wanted this whole year
(34:38):
to be the year discipleship forJude.
And uh had all these thingsplanned out.
Well, at the end of the year wewere wanting to go Grand Canyon,
like it'd be awesome to hike it.
And you know, we didn't didn'tdo it exactly how we wanted to.
I think it was our live event.
Matt Roder was like, well, youknow, it'll all work out.
You know, it might not beexactly how you want to.
So this week, uh, well, I guessit was two weeks ago, we decided
(34:59):
we'd take the boys were offschool Monday.
So Friday after the footballgame, Lisa and I drove to
Destin, Florida with Jude.
SPEAKER_04 (35:06):
And Jude is how old?
SPEAKER_05 (35:07):
13.
Yeah.
So he just turned 13 October2nd.
And so my goal was to alwayshave like that experience where
they know like that's it's aspot where it's time to stop
being a boy, let's be a man.
And uh I wanted to plan it outso well.
Like I wanted it to be perfect,you know, like we'd be going up
the Grand Canyon and you know,the sun's rising, and it's like,
son, you're a man now.
We've been hiking, you know, 20miles all night.
(35:29):
And um, but you know, thatdidn't work out.
So we go to Destin, and it's itwas one of those, like, hey,
let's see if we can make thisthing work.
So if we, you know, originallyit was Outer Banks rain, it was
gonna pour the whole time.
We're gonna camp out on thebeach.
Okay, scratch that.
So Lisa finds on Airbnb there'sa camper in this guy's backyard
(35:49):
in Destin, Florida.
In Dustin, Florida,$100 a night.
So it's like, okay, we'll we'llrock out this camper.
So we drive 12 hours, so we getto leave at 8 Friday to go down
to uh to Destin.
We get there at 9 a.m., walk thebeach.
Jude and I do pier fishing,catching like all these
different fish.
We figure out all these fishhave uh teeth no matter what it
(36:10):
is in the ocean, like everythinghas teeth.
So uh, but Lisa scheduled like acharter.
It was like an inch or charterthat's you know, we drove 15,
like probably 15 minutes out inthe ocean, and so we're going
and it's awesome.
We're fishing.
Lisa's out fishing us becauseshe has two hooks and she paid
the guy extra or something.
And she and so she outfishedJude and I.
(36:32):
But um, there's a point where weget to, and the whole time
you're in Florida, that's theonly thing you can see is just
God's how big God is.
SPEAKER_04 (36:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (36:41):
Like you look to the left, I see no land.
You look to the right, see noland.
Yeah, you know, look straightahead, no land.
Like it is just huge.
And uh so the whole time, youknow, I kept telling Jude, like,
man, like you realize howawesome this is, like, that's
how great God is.
Like no limits at all here,right?
(37:02):
So Jude and I are fishing on theside, and he gets a big one, all
of a sudden the line snaps.
I get a big one fighting, andall of a sudden my line snaps.
Our captain goes, This is youguys are getting sharked.
Like there's a shark down there.
And so he goes, June, you justturned 13.
You ready, buddy?
And hooks up this big tunathat's been filleted that we've
been using for bait.
(37:23):
So it's basically the carcass ofit.
Just tosses it out behind theboat.
He's like, As soon as it goes,it's that's yours.
So all of a sudden, I don'tknow, probably 10 minutes later,
you just hear that line is justrunning.
So for about 15, 20 minutes,Jude battles the shark.
And it is awesome.
Jude versus the shark.
Jude versus the shark.
(37:44):
And you just uh like seeing theI wouldn't say pain, but he's
exhausted.
Like Jude is exhausted.
Like he could see it, like Itook I was taking a video, then
at one point, like I stopped,like I he just hear the last
thing I say is like, Jude, youokay, buddy?
And he would just you could hehad a bruise on his like stomach
from it, and every time thatshark would get up there, it
just zzz right back down.
(38:04):
And so he ends up getting it up,and you can just see that on his
face, just that like holy cow,like I did that.
Yeah, like this is what I did.
And when he's fighting thatshark though, like the only
thing I can think of is man,like I had this all planned out.
Like the moment that Judebecomes a man, like you know,
there's boyhood, and then youwant to start raising him to
manhood.
(38:25):
And it's like I planned that allout.
SPEAKER_04 (38:29):
Didn't work out, you know what I mean?
It worked out just nice.
SPEAKER_05 (38:32):
And then all of a sudden, like he's fighting that
shark, and then it just hit melike not my plan, like God's
plan.
Like I want Jude to be a man ofGod.
But what do you think God wants?
God wants you to be a man ofGod, like he's got it.
Stop trying to plan it all out,like it's gonna work.
And I don't know, it was justone of those moments where it
hit me like a ton of bricks, andit was just like So what did
(38:52):
that couple three days mean toyou?
No, it meant the world to me.
You know, we uh we did nothinglike you would imagine.
I mean, we did the the fishingcharter, but other than that, we
sat on a pier, sat on a jetty,and fished.
And it was just me, my wife, andJude, and just that's all we
did.
It was just relaxing.
Uh Jude realized that he wantsto drop out at the age of 16 and
(39:14):
become a seaboat captain.
So he figured out and mapped outthe rest of his life.
But it's just uh I feel like alot of times I stress about like
the where my kids, um, howthey're gonna grow in faith, how
they're gonna grow.
You gotta do everything right,you gotta do it by the book.
And it's just that was God'sreminder to me.
Like, hey Ben, like as much asyou love your boys, guess what?
(39:36):
I love your boys even more, andI love you, and we'll handle it.
So it just pretty awesome.
Yeah, it was an awesomeexperience.
Yeah.
One I'll never forget, and Idon't think Judy will ever
forget all of that.
SPEAKER_04 (39:46):
Well, he's not gonna forget that shark for sure.
No, or the time he was able tospend with his mom and dad.
SPEAKER_05 (39:50):
Yeah, it was awesome.
And you gotta drive the boat,which praise God that we have
survived.
SPEAKER_04 (39:57):
That's good.
All right, let's close this in aprayer.
Lord, we thank you for usingimperfect people to do your
perfect work.
Thank you for the stories you'vebrought to us at this table and
for the healing that happenswhen truth is spoken.
Help us find peace in yourpurpose and fulfillment in your
(40:19):
presence.
Amen.
Amen.
Everybody, we asked if if youwant more Be Tempered.
You you've obviously on thepodcast at the opening, you hear
our intro to Patreon, which isPatreon is an app that you can
download from your app store.
(40:40):
And if you search Be Tempered,you can go and be you can
subscribe to be a free member ifyou feel called that you want to
give to help us to continue toput this podcast out.
You can also be a paid member.
There's different tiers that youcan do, but every day we put
something out on Patreon, andit's always something different
than what we put out on thesocial media.
(41:02):
So if you want some more, betempered.
Um and I can tell you there aresome there's some big things
coming in 2026 that we're goingto add that's that's gonna
basically just be through thePatreon app.
Um, some events that we're gonnado and some things that we're
going to host, um, possibly amonthly Bible study that we
might do.
I mean, there we've got a lot ofideas and things that are
coming, but they'll all begeared through the Patreon app
(41:25):
so that you know those that wantmore be tempered and and our
mission of helping that oneperson out there can be a part
of that community.
So for those that are on there,uh we hope you uh enjoy what we
put out and and the things thatwe talk about, um, we get a
little more personable, personalin our lives and and some of the
things that hit us on on youknow whatever day it might be.
(41:48):
So uh and and for everybody elseout there, the only other thing
I ask and that Ben and I ask isthat, you know, if if there's a
story that you hear, if there'sa podcast that you listen to
that has touched you in someway, is we just ask that you
share it.
We ask that you share it whetherthat's through social media,
whether that's through, youknow, sending the the iHeart
(42:09):
podcast app to one of yourfriends who you think is going
through something that mightneed to hear a story that might
be related to to Chuck Whiningsor to Deb Tentsman or to Misty
Hollis or to any of these peoplethat we've interviewed, share
that.
That's that's how we continue togrow.
That's how we continue to dowhat's number one for us is to
help people get through whateverdifficulties they're facing.
(42:30):
So we thank you for the love.
We thank you for the support.
We'll keep this thing rolling.
Next week we've got a prettycool episode coming.
Uh happens to be one of theSchmidt kids.
SPEAKER_05 (42:41):
The best Schmidt kid, right?
SPEAKER_04 (42:43):
Yeah, you don't put me in that spot.
One of five best Schmidt kids.
There you go.
Yeah, so it should be aninteresting one.
18-year-old daughter Leah isgonna come on here and uh it's
gonna be interesting.
I don't know where it's gonnago, but I'm excited for
everybody to hear it.
And I'm excited for Leah uhbeing a senior in high school
(43:04):
and and uh for her to share herstory and and to get some
insight on on what an18-year-old girl's life is like
and her thoughts and feelingsand all those things.
SPEAKER_05 (43:14):
So all of our Patreon members already got a
little taste of Leah.
SPEAKER_04 (43:18):
They did, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:19):
And uh yeah, I mean, not what I expected.
I mean just strong in faith andjust amazing.
SPEAKER_04 (43:26):
So pretty powerful, yeah.
Yeah.
All right, everybody.
Thanks again for everything.
Continue to like and support andgo out and be tempered.
SPEAKER_00 (43:34):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad damn.
He owns Catrin's Glass.
SPEAKER_03 (43:38):
Thanks, Allie.
Things like doors and windows gointo making a house.
But when it's your home, youexpect more, like the great
service and selection you'll getfrom Catran's Glass.
Final replacement windows fromCatrins come with a lifetime
warranty, including accidentalglass breakage replacement.
Also ask for custom shower doorsand many other products and
services.
From 962-1636, locally ownedwith local employees for nearly
(44:00):
30 years.
SPEAKER_00 (44:00):
Patrons, a clear choice.
SPEAKER_02 (44:03):
I want to share something that's become a big
part of the Beatempered mission: Patreon. (44:05):
undefined
Now, if you've never used itbefore, Patreon is a platform
where we can build communitytogether.
It's not just about supportingthe podcast, it's about having a
space where we can connect on adeeper level, encourage one
another, and walk this journeyof faith, resilience, and
perseverance side by side.
(44:26):
Here's how it works.
You can join as a free memberand get access to daily posts,
behind the scenes updates,encouragement, and some things I
don't always put out on otherplatforms.
And if you feel called tosupport the mission financially,
there are different levels whereyou can do that too.
That support helps us keepproducing the podcasts, creating
gear, hosting events, andsharing stories that we believe
(44:50):
can truly impact lives.
And here's the cool part.
Patreon has a free app you candownload right on your phone.
It works just like Facebook orInstagram, but it's built
specifically for our community.
You'll be able to scroll throughposts, watch videos, listen to
content, and interact withothers who are on the same
journey.
At the end of the day, thisisn't just about content, it's
(45:10):
about connection.
It's about building somethingtogether.
Not just me and Ben putting outepisodes, but a family of people
committed to growing strongerthrough real stories and real
faith.
So whether you just want to hopon as a free member or you feel
called to support in a biggerway, Patreon is the door into
that community.
Because at the heart of BeTempered has always been simple
(45:32):
real stories, raw truth,resilient faith.
So that even one person outthere that hears what they need
to hear, and Patreon helps makethat possible.
Thanks, Allie.
Things like doors and windows gointo making a house, but when
it's your home, you expect more,like the great service and
selection you'll get fromCatrance Glass.
Final replacement windows fromCatrins come with a lifetime
warranty, including accidentalglass breakage replacement.
Also ask for custom shower doorsand many other products and
services.
SPEAKER_02 (00:29):
I want to share something that's become a big
part of the BTempered mission: Patreon. (00:31):
undefined
Now, if you've never used itbefore, Patreon is a platform
where we can build communitytogether.
It's not just about supportingthe podcast, it's about having a
space where we can connect on adeeper level, encourage one
another, and walk this journeyof faith, resilience, and
perseverance side by side.
(00:52):
Here's how it works.
You can join as a free memberand get access to daily posts,
behind-the-scenes updates,encouragement, and some things I
don't always put out on otherplatforms.
And if you feel called tosupport the mission financially,
there are different levels whereyou can do that too.
That support helps us keepproducing the podcasts, creating
gear, hosting events, andsharing stories that we believe
(01:16):
can truly impact lives.
And here's the cool part.
Patreon has a free app you candownload right on your phone.
It works just like Facebook orInstagram, but it's built
specifically for our community.
You'll be able to scroll throughposts, watch videos, listen to
content, and interact withothers who are on the same
journey.
At the end of the day, thisisn't just about content, it's
(01:36):
about connection.
It's about building somethingtogether.
Not just me and Ben putting outepisodes, but a family of people
committed to growing strongerthrough real stories and real
faith.
So whether you just want to hopon as a free member or you feel
called to support in a biggerway, Patreon is the door into
that community.
Because at the heart of BeTempered has always been simple
(01:59):
real stories, raw truth,resilient faith, so that even
one person out there that hearswhat they need to hear, and
Patreon helps make thatpossible.
SPEAKER_04 (02:09):
Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we
explore the art of findingbalance in a chaotic world.
SPEAKER_05 (02:14):
Join us as we delve into insightful conversations,
practical tips, and inspiringstories to help you navigate
life's ups and downs with graceand resilience.
SPEAKER_04 (02:22):
We're your host, Dan Schmidt, and Ben Sparr.
Let's embark on a journey tolive our best lives.
SPEAKER_05 (02:29):
This is Be Tempered.
SPEAKER_04 (02:30):
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to the Be TemperedPodcast, episode number 76.
Sure.
SPEAKER_05 (02:37):
Sure.
SPEAKER_04 (02:40):
Hey, today's episode is just Ben and me.
No guess, no script, just honestconversation about where life is
right now.
We've both been thinking aboutthis idea enough.
That voice that says, Who am Ito do this?
Or am I really making adifference?
We want to talk about thattoday, about imposter syndrome,
(03:03):
about fulfillment, and aboutwhat it means to find peace
where God has you, even when youdon't feel qualified.
So with that, Ben, impostersyndrome.
We've we've talked about that alot over the past 75 episodes,
and um especially one of thosethings that I feel a lot doing
(03:25):
the podcast, I feel a lot inbusiness.
And so I this morning I lookedup what is the definition of
imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is apsychological pattern where an
individual doubts theiraccomplishments and has a
persistent internal fear ofbeing exposed as a fraud.
Despite evidence of theircompetent or competence or
(03:47):
success, people experienceimposter syndrome often
attribute their achievements toluck or timing rather than
ability.
They feel undeserving of theirsuccess.
Fear being found out or notliving up to others'
expectations, struggle withperfectionism or overworking to
(04:07):
prove themselves.
It's common among highachievers, students,
professionals, and leaders, andit can be can affect confidence,
performance, and mental healthif left unchecked.
Is that how you feel?
SPEAKER_05 (04:20):
Yeah.
What's what I think is crazy isbecause first time I heard
imposter syndrome, it might havebeen the first time we sat down
uh to interview, was the firsttime I think we talked about
imposter syndrome.
And uh I never had heard of itbefore.
Um and then we talked about 75Hard doing that, and then you
hear Andy Frisella talk aboutit.
And um, so the first time Ireally had it was probably when
(04:41):
I started trying to do likeweight transformation.
I think that was when I first uhstarted I shouldn't say first
started feeling it, but that'swhen it really kind of
identified with it, you knowwhat I mean?
Um I don't know if that makessense.
SPEAKER_04 (04:54):
So so you when you say weight like trying to lose
weight.
SPEAKER_05 (04:57):
Right, right.
So, you know, it that was when Iwould say that's when I first as
an adult felt it.
But then you go back to as a kidand all that stuff.
And you know, when I think backto kids these days and already
people like classifying them,putting them in certain bubbles,
what you can do, putting theirceilings on them, I feel like
(05:20):
that's where imposter syndromestarts in a lot of people.
SPEAKER_04 (05:22):
Yeah, like hey, this is the smart kid, right?
Or this is the athletic kid.
Like this is all they can do,they can't be a combination of
everything.
SPEAKER_05 (05:29):
Yeah, or Lil Johnny, what's what's your dream?
What do you want to do when yougrow up, you know, and they're
in third grade, and it's like,well, I want to play quarterback
for, you know, the buckeyes, andit's like, well, that's not a
realistic dream.
You're never gonna get it, sodon't do it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And there's sadly there's peoplein the world that that put
labels on kids and and putceilings on kids.
And yeah.
(05:49):
So I mean, looking back, I feellike that's where imposter
syndrome starts.
But then, you know, then you getto weight transformation or
whatever happens, and you'redieting.
It's why are you doing that?
Why?
Why?
That's not you, you know what Imean?
It's not you.
And I feel like that's when asan adult you start feeling it,
or that's that's when I reallystart feeling it.
SPEAKER_04 (06:09):
When that doubt starts to creep in and then you
question yourself.
I mean, I I battled that well mywhole life, you know, with with
you know, same thing like you,where your weight would
fluctuate up and down and up anddown, and you'd start something
and you'd be good for two weeks,and then you'd get to a weekend
and you go to a party, and youknow, you're thinking, man, just
a couple beers tonight andeating whatever food, and and
(06:32):
then before you know it, you'reoff the wagon and you're you're
back in a hole again.
And that's it, that impostersyndrome, that's that doubt.
That's that's the devil creepingin, really, is what it is, just
telling you you can't do this.
Like, why are you doing this?
Yeah, you're not good enough todo this.
You can't, you can't, you know,be persistent in what you need
to do and be consistent in yourdaily endeavors to be able to
(06:54):
work through when that doubtcreeps in.
SPEAKER_05 (06:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (06:57):
I've got an example.
So when I was um 24 years old,and we had found out about
Katron's glass, about thebusiness being for sale.
My parents came and looked atthe business, and I may have
told some of this story before.
Dad called me and said, Hey, Ithink you need to come up here
and check this out.
(07:18):
So Kim and I did.
We came up from Cincinnati wherewe were living at the time, and
and we met with Jim Catron, thethe owner, and uh, you know,
looked at the building, and man,that was like, this is it.
Like, this is what we need todo.
Let's do it.
And and when I get somethinglike that in my mind, I'm a
hundred mile an hour toaccomplish whatever that goal
(07:38):
is.
And so I was.
And um, you know, so then we gotinto the the nuts and bolts of
the deal and the purchase andworking with the bank.
And we were working with uh myparents' bank.
So they they were gonna co-signbecause I was 24 years old.
Kim and I weren't married yet,and we didn't have a lot of
money, so they were co-signingfor us.
(08:00):
And I remember um, you know, wemet with a couple of different
banks and and we were I I wasconfident in my mind, and maybe
it's because of my youth and myinexperience, and just I didn't
I didn't really know what theheck I was doing.
I mean, I had no business umowning a owning a business then
at that age, and didn't knowwhat I was getting into, didn't
know the whole finance and theaccounting background.
(08:20):
I just knew that I was gonna dowhatever it took to make that
happen and to make it work.
But I'll never forget where Iwas at.
Uh, I was on Toby Road and itwould have been uh the summer of
2003, and I was driving and Igot a call on my cell phone,
cell phone from uh my parents'banker.
And uh I could tell by the toneof his voice, he was leading me
(08:46):
into turning me down for theloan to buy the business.
And he said, he said, Dan, thiswill be an uphill battle for you
the rest of your life.
And he said, We don't want tosee your parents lose everything
that they've worked for, youknow, to make this deal happen.
And so we're declining the loanfor you to purchase the
business.
And that was a gut punch.
(09:10):
I mean, it was I remember who itwas that called me.
I remember the conversation.
Again, I remember where I wasat, and I was the whole time
leading up to that.
Man, I was gung-ho.
I was excited.
You know, I had a great job downin Cincinnati.
I was making good money, I wasdoing well.
And uh here I had flipped thescript.
(09:31):
Now I'm gonna build something,right?
I'm gonna take something that'sthat's got a good foundation and
it's gonna be mine, and I'mgonna, I'm gonna grow it and
we're gonna build it.
And that's all I was thinkingabout.
I thought the loan was just anafterthought.
Like, this is why would this nothappen?
Right.
And then all of a sudden, I gettold no.
And the doubt starts to creepin.
(09:54):
You know, like, okay, maybe he'sright.
You know, what am I doing?
Is this really a smart decision?
You know, is this gonna put myparents in a bad situation?
And that lasted for maybe a day.
And then I was right back intonope, I'm gonna find the next
bank.
And so luckily, um, the bankthat had the um the all the the
(10:17):
accounts for Catron's glass tooka chance on a 24-year-old kid.
And um, you know, here we are,you know, 20 plus years later.
But um, that was an experiencethat um I I hadn't really felt
before in my life where I was,you know, I was so just gung-ho
and eager and felt like I can dothis.
(10:38):
And I knew I knew I could do it,but then just a simple little
phone call just plants that seedof doubt.
And uh there's not a day thatgoes by that I don't think about
that phone call.
SPEAKER_05 (10:50):
What uh what what kind of transformed after like a
day?
Like what made you think like,okay, nope, I do got this.
I can like it was it yourparents?
SPEAKER_04 (10:58):
Was it no?
I I think it was just thecompetitor in me, you know,
always being an athlete, uh, youknow, as a young kid and in high
school and then in the college,the competitor was like, you're
not gonna tell me no.
Yeah, watch me.
Yeah, watch me prove you wrong.
And uh, and I did.
(11:19):
And so, but I still have that inmy mind.
I still remember that phonecall.
I still use that as a little bitof motivation when that doubt
creeps in.
I mean, we're in we're in a biggrowth spot right now with the
business.
We've got a lot of excitingthings going on, but man, you
want to talk about as an owner,you know, uh, you know, I talked
(11:41):
to you about it.
I talked to some of the peoplethat that might be joining our
team here in in 2026 about, youknow, I'm not just hiring them.
Right.
I'm hiring their family, right?
There's a there's a hugeresponsibility that I feel when
I bring someone on.
You know, when I hired you, itwasn't just hiring Ben Sparr,
(12:01):
you know, it's it's Lisa, it'sJude, it's Cy, it's Evi, it's
the whole family because youknow, so many people can be
affected in a positive way or anegative way if we succeed or we
fail.
And so that's a it's a heavyburden.
And so I I'm constantly everyday, I'm hit with with some type
of doubt or some type of anxietythat says, What are you doing?
(12:24):
You know, the podcast is anotherexample.
I mean, we sit here, we talkabout it walking up this
morning, how you, you know, youget nervous.
Oh, yeah.
I get nervous too, you know,sitting here and I mean, we're
we're exposing our thoughts andour feelings and and stories of
our lives to the world.
And um, but the fulfillment inthat comes from the messages
(12:48):
that we receive from people, youknow, after you you interview
someone like Sean Rubush orChuck Winings, who we had on
last week, uh Misty Hollis.
I mean, every single personthat's been on here, it's such
an amazing feeling to be able towatch them tell their story, to
(13:12):
have that relief, you know, tokind of let everything out, to
put it all out there foreveryone to hear.
And then like Chuck.
I keep going back to Chuckbecause how that all happened so
quickly, you know, for for himto come up and talk to us and
thank us for putting out thepodcast.
(13:33):
And then the next week he andhe's in my office and we're
talking, and then the next weekwe're recording, and then the
next week it gets released.
And we saw him on Friday.
SPEAKER_05 (13:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (13:42):
And how amazing was it to see the smile on his face
and to know the day that he hadbecause of how many people
listen to his story about thelove of his life, losing the
love of his life, right?
You know, being a single fathernow, raising, you know, two two
boys in college and a younger10-year-old daughter.
(14:04):
Um, but to to know, you know,the transformation that he's
going through in his life.
I mean, that those are the youknow, if if the devil comes in
and says, You're no good atthis, when we have someone like
Chuck come on and share theirstory and you just watch them
flourish, and uh it's it's sucha fulfilling thing.
SPEAKER_05 (14:26):
Yeah.
Yeah, Chuck's seeing Chuck'stransformation's been awesome.
And when he talks to us and hetalks about you know, all the
people getting, you know,texting him.
I was right by him when um oneof his son's baseball teammates
texted him.
And it was one that he hadn'ttalked to in a while, he
transferred to you know, OhioState and texted him, and you
can just see it in Chuck's eyeswhen he was reading it, how much
(14:49):
it meant to him.
SPEAKER_04 (14:50):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:50):
And then so you have that aspect of it, knowing how
much and he's feeling the love,how much you know it meant to
people that he opened up and thevulnerability and how many
people he's helping in that way.
But then you see like the otheraspect, like you see how much
it's helping Chuck, like smilingear to ear, like just feeling
it's almost like he got theweight of the world off him.
Like, you know, for a while itfelt like he was battling it
(15:11):
inside and got this pain,doesn't know what to do with
this pain.
And then, you know, you readSean's book, Earn of Payment and
Purpose, and then he said hejust basically binge-read it,
like he couldn't stop readingit.
And then now to see where he'sgoing, I mean, I there's a lot,
God's got a lot to do withChuck.
Like Chuck's buried to help alot of people.
He is, and he is on fire rightnow.
SPEAKER_04 (15:32):
He is, he is on fire.
And and you know, you you thinkback to that, you know.
So I, you know, I talk about thethe story of trying to get the
business purchased.
We talk about the beginning ofthe podcast, you know, all these
things in in my life that led upto bringing you on to the team,
to Catron's Glass team.
And then, you know, that's inreturn starts the podcast.
(15:54):
That in return gets the wheelsturning for Sean Rubush to tell
his story and then write a book.
And then Chuck happens to seethe name of the book, Turning
Pain into Purpose, and he's in ahole in his life, right?
He starts thinking, he startslistening to to Sean's story,
and then he decides he wants totell his story.
(16:17):
So, you know, there's so manypeaks and valleys in life, and
it's not to say that Chuck's notgonna have hard days, or Sean's
not gonna have hard days, or youor me are not.
We are, right?
We do.
And in fact, probably every daywe have moments where it's just
like what am I doing?
Yeah, what am I doing?
But you just gotta keep goingand you gotta recognize that
(16:40):
it's it's those those times inlife when you feel like you're
an imposter.
Yeah, you feel that doubt thatno, I'm okay.
This is just a learning moment.
I'm gonna keep growing and I'mgonna get better because of it.
So that's that's you know, thething with the imposter
syndrome.
When I when I hear that, Ithink, I think it's just it's
(17:01):
just doubt creeping in, and thenit's that's the devil just
trying to tell you that uh youcan't do it.
But if but it second Corinthiansverse 12 through nine says, My
grace is sufficient for you, formy power is made perfect in
weakness.
That's pretty powerful.
SPEAKER_05 (17:19):
Yeah.
And that's what I feel likethat's the way I view imposter
syndrome as well, is the devilis you know, the king of lies.
Like that's the one thing he'sgood at.
And so I feel like that's wherehe comes at me, you know, comes
at people with an impostersyndrome.
And then there's just thosevoices that are in your life
every day, you know.
(17:40):
It might be your wife, coworker,um, kid you're coaching, or a
teammate.
Um they don't try to, butthey'll they'll say something
that kind of feeds into that liethat the devil's using at you.
You know, you you might betrying to become a better
husband, maybe, and then all ofa sudden your wife says
something that just, you know,the devil's sitting there
saying, Wait, you're not a goodhusband, like let's not forget
(18:01):
where you're at, or you're not agood father.
And then your kid or your wifejust says that one thing and
it's almost validates thedevil's point.
And then you just gotta remindyourself that that's it's
imposter syndrome.
That's what he's trying to do.
And then you anchor yourself inverses like that, you know.
SPEAKER_04 (18:16):
Well, and the other thing too is, you know, you
think about all the people thatcome up here and sit at this
table.
You know, what do they all say?
I don't have a story.
I don't have a story, I'm sonervous.
I don't know why I'm up here, Idon't know why I'm doing this.
That means they're the rightperson, right?
Because that's the devil insideof them put planting that seed
(18:38):
of doubt, telling them, youknow, what you've done in your
life, what you've been throughin your life is not gonna help
someone.
Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_05 (18:44):
Right.
Yeah, yeah, and that's what John8, 4, 4, there's no truth in
him.
For he is a liar and he's thefather of lies.
That's always the devil I feellike creeping in.
SPEAKER_04 (18:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (18:56):
And usually he's attacking if you're sitting
there and you're on thesidelines and you're not making
any waves, he'll leave youalone.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04 (19:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (19:03):
But the moment you try to start making yourself
better, making this worldbetter, then he's gonna attack
you and you can expect it.
And if he's attacking you, guesswhat?
Probably doing the right thing.
SPEAKER_04 (19:13):
Well, and here's here's one of the things too.
I I was reading through ournotes here and talks about how
vulnerability leads to healing,both for the the person who's
telling their story and for ourlisteners.
You know, when someone'svulnerable, it's amazing what it
does to others, how it opensthem up and it it humanizes
them.
You know, it humanizes them, ithumanizes their story.
(19:36):
And so on Friday, when Chuck'sthis last Friday, when Chuck's
episode aired, I got all kindsof messages from people.
And this one is is from alistener from Columbus.
And um, I'm just gonna read youwhat she wrote me.
She said, just listen to episode75.
I'm not going to lie, that was agut punch.
I cried all through Chuck'sstory, reliving my husband and
(19:58):
I's journey.
I pray that Chuck finds strengthto get through each and every
day.
Still having kids at home, Ithink, would be a blessing.
We all find strength for ourkids.
Thank you for another greatepisode.
Keep them coming.
I'm downloading the Patreon appsoon, as soon as I hit send.
You know, and you get messageslike that.
(20:18):
You know, it's it's so powerfuland rewarding to know that
there's people out there who tolisten to Chuck's story, to
listen to Misty's story, toDeb's story, to Sean's story, to
all these stories and and areimpacted in a way that, you
know, they take an hour, hourand a half of their day to
listen to someone beingvulnerable.
(20:43):
Someone who, you know, a monthago didn't have the strength to
come in here and sit down,really, to even talk to us man
on man about, you know,difficulties they were facing.
And now it's it's all out there.
And now he's finding strength inthat.
SPEAKER_05 (20:58):
He talked about how it was hard for him to come up
and talk to us that Fridaynight.
I talked to Chuck.
So I met Chuck two years ago,well, going on two years ago.
On Friday nights, I'd see himevery Friday night for recording
the game.
So we talked before and justthat, just to say thank you,
like how hard it was.
And then all of a sudden he didthat, and then yeah, it
snowballed quickly.
SPEAKER_04 (21:17):
It did.
Yeah, it was very powerful.
Yeah, so then we talk aboutfulfillment versus achievement,
redefining success.
So, you know, the tensionbetween chasing success and
finding true contentment.
So, you know, when I when I readthat, I think about the
competitor, right?
(21:37):
Whether it's in sports, it's inbusiness, it's in life, it's in
my fitness, it's in thispodcast.
Like the competitor in me wantsto be the best, wants to be the
best at everything that I do.
And that's that's what I I worktowards and I strive towards.
But what I've what this podcasthas really done for me is to
(21:59):
show me that it's it's not aboutthose achievements.
It's more about thatfulfillment.
It's more about like what wetalked about, like seeing
someone like Sean or like Chuckto watch them, you know, just to
stand back and to watch like allday Friday when Chuck's up.
Like I knew that was going to bea powerful one because that was
one of the first ones where Isat here and it was very, very
(22:22):
difficult for me to hold backthe emotion.
Oh, yeah.
Because we have young kids, youput yourself in that that
situation and you think aboutthat being your wife and how you
would handle all those things.
And that the just I mean, it'sit was it was very, very
difficult, but the fulfillmentto watch him, you know, to watch
him thrive and and to be, youknow, for him to be fulfilled as
(22:45):
well.
It's such an amazing feeling.
And for me, that's a little bitof a transformation is I still
got that competitor in me.
Yeah, I still want to be thebest.
But what's more important is tohelp others share their stories
so that they can be fulfilledand that they can heal and
recover from what they've beenthrough.
So I that's that's one of thethings that I have learned by
(23:08):
doing this.
SPEAKER_05 (23:09):
Yeah.
It's I mean, and there's peoplethat you don't realize that
listen to it that will reachout.
I have two or three friends thatback in school we don't talk at
all.
I mean, we you know, in schoolwe talked and then you grow
apart, and I'll still get justabout weekly texts from them,
weekly messages like, man, youdon't understand how much this
podcast is helping me.
You know, I'm in a dark spotright now, but you know, this is
(23:32):
helping me a lot.
Like, thank you.
And you just don't realize whoare you're helping in.
So it's f you know, fulfilling,like that's fulfillment for me
too, is just the people that youhelp.
And you know, we're multiplyingnow because originally our goal
was one.
You know, first podcast, we'rethanking our parents for
listening, and uh we're movingon.
(23:52):
Now you got people that believein the community, believe in
what we're doing, and yeah,believe in the mission.
Yeah, wanting to subscribe anddo it with us, and it's amazing.
SPEAKER_04 (24:01):
It is amazing, and and man, am I so grateful.
Um, and and again, just tryingto to figure out where where we
take this and where it goes.
We've got a lot of excitingthings coming up in 2026.
And um, you know, just the otherthe other thing is is redefining
what it means to be enough inGod's eyes.
(24:24):
You know, the imposter syndromeand unfulfillment both stem from
the same lie.
You're not enough.
Yeah, we are right.
We're enough.
And and you are enough if you'reout there listening and you feel
like you're lost in the sauce.
I mean, Kevin just shared a youknow, a story with us about uh
about his friend coming out ofum of recovery for the how many
(24:47):
times?
Fourth, fourth time coming outof alcohol recovery.
And where's he at right now?
SPEAKER_01 (24:55):
Back on the sauce.
Doesn't want to quit it.
Bad enough to where you worryabout his health.
Oh yeah.
I mean I if if he was dead rightnow, I wouldn't be surprised.
SPEAKER_04 (25:11):
So what do we do to help people like that?
SPEAKER_01 (25:16):
You can't, other than set an example and
hopefully inspire them becauselike I uh I've mentioned before,
in 2025 we have an abundantamount of resources.
But one percent of you has towant help.
You know?
Your your the first helping handhas to be your own hand.
(25:41):
So without that, I mean you justhope that they can accept some
responsibility andaccountability somehow and then
uh move forward.
SPEAKER_04 (25:52):
But so if he's listening to this, what do you
say to him?
SPEAKER_01 (25:58):
Quit freaking drinking.
Everything else will figureyou'll be able to figure out,
but But you know that's noteasy.
SPEAKER_04 (26:04):
You were in that position.
SPEAKER_01 (26:04):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I hit complete rock bottomthough.
That's and that's the thing.
It's like, are we there yet?
You know?
I feel like some people don'thit rock bottom and then
realize, oh crap, like I have tochange something.
I think I think a lot of us getbailed out right before we hit
(26:27):
rock bottom.
So then we always have thatcrutch in our mind of like, oh,
something or someone will alwaysbail us out.
Organization will always bail usout, something somebody will
bail me out.
But uh at the end of the day,you gotta bail your own ass out
before anybody else can.
SPEAKER_04 (26:46):
Yeah, and uh, you know, that's heavy stuff.
It's um, you know, it's it'schallenging to watch people go
through the fire, you know, andand and actually have had a
couple conversations with somepeople who want to share their
story, but I think they're stillin the fire and trying to
(27:09):
navigate what that looks likefor them and try to help them,
to guide them, to encourage themto continue to, you know, be
vulnerable with their story andto open up and to pray, you
know, to find that person whothey lean on to have a
conversation with and open up uhis important.
(27:31):
And um, you know, there'sthere's just there's a lot of
things to navigate in this lifethat can pull you down.
Again, that doubt, that fear,that anxiety, all those things
that we all face on a dailybasis.
But just continuing to take thatstep to to get out of your, you
know, like Kevin talks about hishis friend, you know, he's
(27:53):
basically in his house with hisblinds closed, right?
You got to get out of thatsituation.
SPEAKER_01 (27:58):
You have to, you, you have to help yourself
somehow before anyone else canhelp you.
SPEAKER_04 (28:02):
Yeah.
Yeah, you got to get out of thatsituation.
So if you feel like you'restuck, change something.
It could be just something aslittle as opening the blinds in
your house, as little as openingup that front door and going
sitting on the front porch.
SPEAKER_01 (28:17):
Well, and we even had the conversations because
you know you got to stack yourgood days and then you're gonna
have bad days.
Um your goal in life is to getthem further and few between.
But I said, even even if you'redepressed, sad, you don't want
to leave your house, you don'twant to leave your bed, you
don't want to leave underneathyour covers, whatever, just
(28:39):
don't drink.
Like if you got to shut the daydown and try to restart
tomorrow, that's fine.
Just don't drink.
Because then those days aregoing to get further and few
between.
But get a game plan for thosedays, you know they're coming.
Right.
You know how can you anchor?
And I I still have we all havethose days.
(29:00):
We all have those days.
Right?
You so it's how you handle thosedays.
unknown (29:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:06):
Do you do you want to multiply them or do you want
to divide them, you know?
SPEAKER_04 (29:12):
Yeah.
Well, we'll continue to pray foryour buddy and hope that man he
can take that step.
And if you're listening, changeyour situation, man.
SPEAKER_05 (29:22):
It's one of the hard things too, I think, trying to
somebody battling likealcoholism or somebody, whatever
it is in life that you'rebattling.
Uh, you know, today we'retalking about imposter syndrome.
One thing I was thinking is howhard it would be to battle
imposter syndrome if I wasn't ifI didn't believe, you know, if I
wasn't a Christian, if I didn'tbelieve in Jesus.
You know what I mean?
(29:42):
Because a lot of the stuff thatI anchor myself with, like if
I'm having a bad day orsomething, who am I?
Like, who am I and I go to theword?
SPEAKER_01 (29:48):
It'd be impossible because you wouldn't have any
hope.
Right.
So exactly.
So as dark and gloomy andeverything as everything can be,
you have to have hope somehow.
Like you have to.
Picture yourself in a betterspot.
You know, you have to have hopeto you have to have something to
grasp to help get you there.
SPEAKER_05 (30:08):
Yeah.
Just something, you know, threeverses that, you know, for we
are his workmanship created inChrist for good works, which God
prepared beforehand, that weshould walk in them.
Ephesians 2 10.
Timothy 1 7, for God gave us aspirit not of fear, but of
power, love, and self-control.
And then 2 Corinthians 12, 9 10.
But he said to me, My grace issufficient for you, for my
(30:30):
powers is made perfect inweakness, for when I am weak,
then I am strong.
You said that one, but mygoodness, like I feel like that
that verse, like we're all weak.
Nobody's perfect.
We all have battles.
We all struggle.
Don't be scared to talk tosomebody about it.
Don't be scared to open up aboutit.
Because when you're weak, thenyou know your faith is strong.
And uh, you know, there's sadly,I you know, I'm at I'm 37.
(30:53):
I've buried quite a bit of myfriends in, you know, tragic car
accidents or you know, drugoverdoses.
And I can tell you the funeralsthat you go to where there's
zero hope, where you know, youdon't know.
SPEAKER_01 (31:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (31:07):
It's the most depressing and the most sad and
heartbreaking, what can I domoments.
And then there's those momentswhere you knew they were a
believer, you knew where theywere going.
And it's just like, yes, itstill sucks for us that they're
not here and stuff like that,but you know there's gonna be a
day where you're gonna be withthem again, and it's those
moments I I you know you hang onto.
(31:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (31:30):
Yeah, hope is a powerful thing, and you know, if
you're out there and you feellike you don't have any hope, go
for a walk.
Be in nature.
You know, I did that yesterday.
I went out and and I hadn't beenin the Arboretum in a week
because we've been on in themiddle of harvest on the farm
and we're very busy at the glassshop.
(31:50):
And I finally got out yesterdayand I was like, no, I'm going
for a walk.
And I got out in nature, and youknow, we had a big season change
here, right?
With 80 degrees on Saturday,Sunday was nothing but just rain
and dreary skies.
Yesterday was beautiful, 60degrees.
You know, it's it's what I wouldsay is perfect weather uh for
(32:12):
me, and the leaves are falling,there's color.
You know, when you get outsideand you get in nature and you
get in God's beauty, it it putsme in a whole different realm.
Doesn't matter what I wentthrough yesterday, doesn't
matter how upset I got aboutsomething that had happened,
(32:32):
that's the time for me just tobe at peace and just to walk and
just to to let things go.
And I think it's it's such ahealing process to do that, to
get out in nature, even if it'sjust going outside, taking your
shoes and socks off and lettingyour feet touch the grass.
Like that can be a healingprocess if you can't get out and
(32:53):
walk.
If you can get out and just justfeel that sunshine, let that
sunshine hit your face.
You know, if you can go for awalk, get outside and go for a
walk, get into nature, you know,be outside, listen to the birds,
notice all those little things.
What Chuck talked about when hewent on vacation after he lost,
lost his wife.
She loved cardinals.
They go to the beach, he walksoutside, and the first thing he
(33:16):
sees at the bottom of the stairswhen they're going to the beach
is a cardinal.
Yeah.
You know, you start to noticethose things when you find hope,
when you start to see positivethings in in life.
You start to notice all thoselittle things.
And is it God?
I don't know.
I'd like to think that it is.
I think I think it's it's Godgiving you signs of, hey, I'm
(33:36):
here.
I'm right beside you.
No matter what, I'm right besideyou.
And so, you know, if if you'refeeling like you're not enough,
you feel like you're unqualifiedto leave, uh, to unqualified to
lead, to make an impact, maybethat's exactly where God wants
you.
Because that where that's wherehe does his best work.
(33:58):
You know, in our darkest,deepest moments, that's when we
really find out who we are.
You know, watching people stepinto freedom has reminded me
that fulfillment doesn't comefrom being recognized, it comes
from being refined.
So what else you got?
SPEAKER_05 (34:16):
I was just gonna say you talked about nature.
Um I we talked about beforeabout the you know, read a book
called Play the Man.
And uh it's all about in in allthese different cultures, you
have a a spot where the boybecomes a man.
You have these um rituals or youknow, uh a time.
Well, play the man, you know,there's wanted this whole year
(34:38):
to be the year discipleship forJude.
And uh had all these thingsplanned out.
Well, at the end of the year wewere wanting to go Grand Canyon,
like it'd be awesome to hike it.
And you know, we didn't didn'tdo it exactly how we wanted to.
I think it was our live event.
Matt Roder was like, well, youknow, it'll all work out.
You know, it might not beexactly how you want to.
So this week, uh, well, I guessit was two weeks ago, we decided
(34:59):
we'd take the boys were offschool Monday.
So Friday after the footballgame, Lisa and I drove to
Destin, Florida with Jude.
SPEAKER_04 (35:06):
And Jude is how old?
SPEAKER_05 (35:07):
13.
Yeah.
So he just turned 13 October2nd.
And so my goal was to alwayshave like that experience where
they know like that's it's aspot where it's time to stop
being a boy, let's be a man.
And uh I wanted to plan it outso well.
Like I wanted it to be perfect,you know, like we'd be going up
the Grand Canyon and you know,the sun's rising, and it's like,
son, you're a man now.
We've been hiking, you know, 20miles all night.
(35:29):
And um, but you know, thatdidn't work out.
So we go to Destin, and it's itwas one of those, like, hey,
let's see if we can make thisthing work.
So if we, you know, originallyit was Outer Banks rain, it was
gonna pour the whole time.
We're gonna camp out on thebeach.
Okay, scratch that.
So Lisa finds on Airbnb there'sa camper in this guy's backyard
(35:49):
in Destin, Florida.
In Dustin, Florida,$100 a night.
So it's like, okay, we'll we'llrock out this camper.
So we drive 12 hours, so we getto leave at 8 Friday to go down
to uh to Destin.
We get there at 9 a.m., walk thebeach.
Jude and I do pier fishing,catching like all these
different fish.
We figure out all these fishhave uh teeth no matter what it
(36:10):
is in the ocean, like everythinghas teeth.
So uh, but Lisa scheduled like acharter.
It was like an inch or charterthat's you know, we drove 15,
like probably 15 minutes out inthe ocean, and so we're going
and it's awesome.
We're fishing.
Lisa's out fishing us becauseshe has two hooks and she paid
the guy extra or something.
And she and so she outfishedJude and I.
(36:32):
But um, there's a point where weget to, and the whole time
you're in Florida, that's theonly thing you can see is just
God's how big God is.
SPEAKER_04 (36:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (36:41):
Like you look to the left, I see no land.
You look to the right, see noland.
Yeah, you know, look straightahead, no land.
Like it is just huge.
And uh so the whole time, youknow, I kept telling Jude, like,
man, like you realize howawesome this is, like, that's
how great God is.
Like no limits at all here,right?
(37:02):
So Jude and I are fishing on theside, and he gets a big one, all
of a sudden the line snaps.
I get a big one fighting, andall of a sudden my line snaps.
Our captain goes, This is youguys are getting sharked.
Like there's a shark down there.
And so he goes, June, you justturned 13.
You ready, buddy?
And hooks up this big tunathat's been filleted that we've
been using for bait.
(37:23):
So it's basically the carcass ofit.
Just tosses it out behind theboat.
He's like, As soon as it goes,it's that's yours.
So all of a sudden, I don'tknow, probably 10 minutes later,
you just hear that line is justrunning.
So for about 15, 20 minutes,Jude battles the shark.
And it is awesome.
Jude versus the shark.
Jude versus the shark.
(37:44):
And you just uh like seeing theI wouldn't say pain, but he's
exhausted.
Like Jude is exhausted.
Like he could see it, like Itook I was taking a video, then
at one point, like I stopped,like I he just hear the last
thing I say is like, Jude, youokay, buddy?
And he would just you could hehad a bruise on his like stomach
from it, and every time thatshark would get up there, it
just zzz right back down.
(38:04):
And so he ends up getting it up,and you can just see that on his
face, just that like holy cow,like I did that.
Yeah, like this is what I did.
And when he's fighting thatshark though, like the only
thing I can think of is man,like I had this all planned out.
Like the moment that Judebecomes a man, like you know,
there's boyhood, and then youwant to start raising him to
manhood.
(38:25):
And it's like I planned that allout.
SPEAKER_04 (38:29):
Didn't work out, you know what I mean?
It worked out just nice.
SPEAKER_05 (38:32):
And then all of a sudden, like he's fighting that
shark, and then it just hit melike not my plan, like God's
plan.
Like I want Jude to be a man ofGod.
But what do you think God wants?
God wants you to be a man ofGod, like he's got it.
Stop trying to plan it all out,like it's gonna work.
And I don't know, it was justone of those moments where it
hit me like a ton of bricks, andit was just like So what did
(38:52):
that couple three days mean toyou?
No, it meant the world to me.
You know, we uh we did nothinglike you would imagine.
I mean, we did the the fishingcharter, but other than that, we
sat on a pier, sat on a jetty,and fished.
And it was just me, my wife, andJude, and just that's all we
did.
It was just relaxing.
Uh Jude realized that he wantsto drop out at the age of 16 and
(39:14):
become a seaboat captain.
So he figured out and mapped outthe rest of his life.
But it's just uh I feel like alot of times I stress about like
the where my kids, um, howthey're gonna grow in faith, how
they're gonna grow.
You gotta do everything right,you gotta do it by the book.
And it's just that was God'sreminder to me.
Like, hey Ben, like as much asyou love your boys, guess what?
(39:36):
I love your boys even more, andI love you, and we'll handle it.
So it just pretty awesome.
Yeah, it was an awesomeexperience.
Yeah.
One I'll never forget, and Idon't think Judy will ever
forget all of that.
SPEAKER_04 (39:46):
Well, he's not gonna forget that shark for sure.
No, or the time he was able tospend with his mom and dad.
SPEAKER_05 (39:50):
Yeah, it was awesome.
And you gotta drive the boat,which praise God that we have
survived.
SPEAKER_04 (39:57):
That's good.
All right, let's close this in aprayer.
Lord, we thank you for usingimperfect people to do your
perfect work.
Thank you for the stories you'vebrought to us at this table and
for the healing that happenswhen truth is spoken.
Help us find peace in yourpurpose and fulfillment in your
(40:19):
presence.
Amen.
Amen.
Everybody, we asked if if youwant more Be Tempered.
You you've obviously on thepodcast at the opening, you hear
our intro to Patreon, which isPatreon is an app that you can
download from your app store.
(40:40):
And if you search Be Tempered,you can go and be you can
subscribe to be a free member ifyou feel called that you want to
give to help us to continue toput this podcast out.
You can also be a paid member.
There's different tiers that youcan do, but every day we put
something out on Patreon, andit's always something different
than what we put out on thesocial media.
(41:02):
So if you want some more, betempered.
Um and I can tell you there aresome there's some big things
coming in 2026 that we're goingto add that's that's gonna
basically just be through thePatreon app.
Um, some events that we're gonnado and some things that we're
going to host, um, possibly amonthly Bible study that we
might do.
I mean, there we've got a lot ofideas and things that are
coming, but they'll all begeared through the Patreon app
(41:25):
so that you know those that wantmore be tempered and and our
mission of helping that oneperson out there can be a part
of that community.
So for those that are on there,uh we hope you uh enjoy what we
put out and and the things thatwe talk about, um, we get a
little more personable, personalin our lives and and some of the
things that hit us on on youknow whatever day it might be.
(41:48):
So uh and and for everybody elseout there, the only other thing
I ask and that Ben and I ask isthat, you know, if if there's a
story that you hear, if there'sa podcast that you listen to
that has touched you in someway, is we just ask that you
share it.
We ask that you share it whetherthat's through social media,
whether that's through, youknow, sending the the iHeart
(42:09):
podcast app to one of yourfriends who you think is going
through something that mightneed to hear a story that might
be related to to Chuck Whiningsor to Deb Tentsman or to Misty
Hollis or to any of these peoplethat we've interviewed, share
that.
That's that's how we continue togrow.
That's how we continue to dowhat's number one for us is to
help people get through whateverdifficulties they're facing.
(42:30):
So we thank you for the love.
We thank you for the support.
We'll keep this thing rolling.
Next week we've got a prettycool episode coming.
Uh happens to be one of theSchmidt kids.
SPEAKER_05 (42:41):
The best Schmidt kid, right?
SPEAKER_04 (42:43):
Yeah, you don't put me in that spot.
One of five best Schmidt kids.
There you go.
Yeah, so it should be aninteresting one.
18-year-old daughter Leah isgonna come on here and uh it's
gonna be interesting.
I don't know where it's gonnago, but I'm excited for
everybody to hear it.
And I'm excited for Leah uhbeing a senior in high school
(43:04):
and and uh for her to share herstory and and to get some
insight on on what an18-year-old girl's life is like
and her thoughts and feelingsand all those things.
SPEAKER_05 (43:14):
So all of our Patreon members already got a
little taste of Leah.
SPEAKER_04 (43:18):
They did, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:19):
And uh yeah, I mean, not what I expected.
I mean just strong in faith andjust amazing.
SPEAKER_04 (43:26):
So pretty powerful, yeah.
Yeah.
All right, everybody.
Thanks again for everything.
Continue to like and support andgo out and be tempered.
SPEAKER_00 (43:34):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my dad damn.
He owns Catrin's Glass.
SPEAKER_03 (43:38):
Thanks, Allie.
Things like doors and windows gointo making a house.
But when it's your home, youexpect more, like the great
service and selection you'll getfrom Catran's Glass.
Final replacement windows fromCatrins come with a lifetime
warranty, including accidentalglass breakage replacement.
Also ask for custom shower doorsand many other products and
services.
From 962-1636, locally ownedwith local employees for nearly
(44:00):
30 years.
SPEAKER_00 (44:00):
Patrons, a clear choice.
SPEAKER_02 (44:03):
I want to share something that's become a big
part of the Beatempered mission: Patreon. (44:05):
undefined
Now, if you've never used itbefore, Patreon is a platform
where we can build communitytogether.
It's not just about supportingthe podcast, it's about having a
space where we can connect on adeeper level, encourage one
another, and walk this journeyof faith, resilience, and
perseverance side by side.
(44:26):
Here's how it works.
You can join as a free memberand get access to daily posts,
behind the scenes updates,encouragement, and some things I
don't always put out on otherplatforms.
And if you feel called tosupport the mission financially,
there are different levels whereyou can do that too.
That support helps us keepproducing the podcasts, creating
gear, hosting events, andsharing stories that we believe
(44:50):
can truly impact lives.
And here's the cool part.
Patreon has a free app you candownload right on your phone.
It works just like Facebook orInstagram, but it's built
specifically for our community.
You'll be able to scroll throughposts, watch videos, listen to
content, and interact withothers who are on the same
journey.
At the end of the day, thisisn't just about content, it's
(45:10):
about connection.
It's about building somethingtogether.
Not just me and Ben putting outepisodes, but a family of people
committed to growing strongerthrough real stories and real
faith.
So whether you just want to hopon as a free member or you feel
called to support in a biggerway, Patreon is the door into
that community.
Because at the heart of BeTempered has always been simple
(45:32):
real stories, raw truth,resilient faith.
So that even one person outthere that hears what they need
to hear, and Patreon helps makethat possible.
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