BeTempered Episode 82 - Inside the Support Systems That Change a Child’s Trajectory with Allie Shafer

What happens when a child cannot focus in class because the lights were shut off at home, there is no food in the cupboard, or their clothes have not been washed in a week. On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Eaton Community Schools Success Liaison Allie Shafer to shine a light on the non academic barriers that quietly shape whether a student learns or simply survives the day. Allie shares what her role looks like in real time as she listens without judgment, builds trust with families who have every reason to be cautious, and works through the maze of agencies, benefits, and applications to make sure heat stays on, meals stay consistent, and kids have clean clothes to wear.

The conversation highlights a struggle that affects far more than people realize. Laundry becomes a barrier when loads are stolen, coin machines cost more than families can spare, and kids wear the same outfit day after day until the social pressure becomes overwhelming. We walk through real solutions that communities can create together, including vouchers, church supported laundry rooms, mobile wash setups, and volunteer wash hours that bring dignity and confidence back to children who need both.

We also spotlight programs that are changing lives. Shoes for the Shoeless brings a level of care that you can feel the moment a child steps into a pair of shoes that finally fit. Christmas for Kids reaches up to a thousand children across the county with support from churches, neighbors, and local businesses that refuse to let kids go without. Throughout the conversation Allie models courage as she advocates for families in difficult situations and still protects the boundaries she needs to care for her own children.

If you have ever wondered where you can make a real difference, this episode gives you a clear place to start. Sponsor a laundry load. Clear a lunch balance. Cut a lawn. Bake a birthday cake. Share this episode with someone who can unlock resources or create space for ideas that matter. Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr invite you to listen, reflect, and take action.

Connect with Allie Shafer, Success Liaison for Grades K through 5 at Eaton Community Schools, at [e-mail]

Listen at betempered.com or support the show at patreon.com/betempered

Support the show

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_06 (00:04):
Thanks, Allie.
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SPEAKER_05 (00:29):
I want to share something that's become a big
part of the Be Tempered mission.
Patreon.
Now, if you've never used itbefore, Patreon is a platform
where we can build communitytogether.
It's not just about supportingthe podcast, it's about having a
space where we can connect on adeeper level, encourage one
another, and walk this journeyof faith, resilience, and

(00:50):
perseverance side by side.
Here's how it works.
You can join as a free memberand get access to daily posts,
behind-the-scenes updates,encouragement, and some things I
don't always put out on otherplatforms.
And if you feel called tosupport the mission financially,
there are different levels whereyou can do that too.
That support helps us keepproducing the podcasts, creating

(01:12):
gear, hosting events, andsharing stories that we believe
can truly impact lives.
And here's the cool part.
Patreon has a free app you candownload right on your phone.
It works just like Facebook orInstagram, but it's built
specifically for our community.
You'll be able to scroll throughposts, watch videos, listen to
content, and interact withothers who are on the same

(01:33):
journey.
At the end of the day, thisisn't just about content, it's
about connection.
It's about building somethingtogether.
Not just me and men putting outepisodes, but a family of people
committed to growing strongerthrough real stories and real
faith.
So whether you just want to hopon as a free member or you feel
called to support in a biggerway, Patreon is the door into

(01:54):
that community.
Because at the heart of BeTempered has always been simple.
Real stories, all truth,resilient faith, so that even
one person out there that hearswhat they need to hear, and
Patreon helps make thatpossible.

SPEAKER_07 (02:09):
Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we
explore the art of findingbalance in a chaotic world.

SPEAKER_04 (02:14):
Join us as we delve into insightful conversations,
practical tips, and inspiringstories to help you navigate
life's ups and downs with graceand resilience.

SPEAKER_07 (02:22):
We're your host, Dan Schmidt, and Ben Sparr.
Let's embark on a journey tolive our best lives.

SPEAKER_04 (02:29):
This is Be Tempered.
Father, thank you for allowingus to be here today.
We lift up every family inPreble County who is struggling,
the ones who worry about thenext meal who sit in the dark
because electricity is turnedoff, feel embarrassed because
they can't provide hygiene,clean clothes for their kids,
who are drowning in bills,brokenness, or hopelessness.
God meet them where they are.
We lift up Allie, Schaefer, yourservant in the community as a

(02:51):
success liaison.
She stands in the gap.
She advocates, she comforts, shelistens, she finds solutions.
God strengthen her, refreshingher, cover with her with your
peace and endurance.
She is being the feet of Jesusin the hallway in the homes.
We also lift up Deb, who is onceagain fighting lymphoma.
Lord, surround her with herhealing, hope, and supernatural

(03:12):
peace.
Wrap her in your presence.
Reminder, she is not fightingalone.
Father, use this conversationtoday to awaken our hearts,
break our hearts for what breaksyours.
Amen.

SPEAKER_07 (03:23):
Amen.
All right.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to the Be TemperedPodcast, episode number 82, Dan.
82.
Very confidently.
Can we get a confirmation onthat, Kevin?

SPEAKER_04 (03:37):
Confirmed.
He is correct.
82.
Number 82.
10-4 ghostwriter.

SPEAKER_07 (03:43):
Hey, today on the podcast, we're honored to shine
a light on someone whose worksits right at the heart of what
it means to lead withcompassion, purpose, and
service.
Our guest Allie Schaefer hasspent the last eight years as
success liaison, successliaison.

SPEAKER_04 (04:00):
Nailed it.

SPEAKER_07 (04:02):
Serving students and families in Preble County
schools through the ButlerCounty Educational Service
Center.
The success program, whichreaches nine Butler County
districts and all five districtsin Preble County, exists to help
families overcome thenon-academic barriers that often
stand between a child and theirability to learn.
Whether it's food, clothing,housing, medical or dental care,

(04:26):
mental health support, ornavigating benefits, success
liaisons step into some of thehardest and most personal
moments families face.
And they do it with dignity,respect, and the belief that
every child deserves a chance tosucceed.
Allie embodies that mission.
She just doesn't just connectfamilies to resources, she walks

(04:50):
with them.
She advocates for them andbuilds the kind of trust that
can change the trajectory of achild's life.
She lives with the BCESC corevalues integrity, family
focused, compassion, andrespect.
Outside of work, Ali and herhusband Ricky have built a
beautiful life together.

(05:11):
11 years of marriage, raisingthree amazing kids, sharing a
love for cooking, organizing,being outdoors, and of course,
anything involving coffee.
She brings that same warmth,steadiness, and heart into every
school building she steps into.
And what she loves most abouther role is the collaboration,
the teamwork, the way the agencyrallies around families.

(05:33):
As she said herself, I loveworking here because I get to be
alongside individuals dedicatedto making a positive impact.
So today we get to hear thestories behind the work, the
moments of challenge, thevictories, the tough
conversations, and the quietwins that nobody sees but
absolutely matter.
Allie Schaefer, welcome to theBeat Tempered Podcast.

(05:55):
Welcome, Allie.

SPEAKER_02 (05:55):
Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_07 (05:57):
Yeah, we're we're grateful for you coming here to
share your story and to talkabout a lot of things that a lot
of people don't know.
Me being one of those.
You know, last week, I think itwas, we were at a career fair
and Ben and I's table happenedto be next to your table, and we

(06:20):
had some conversations therethat really struck me about some
of the things that you see on adaily basis that you deal with.
And uh just really as you weretalking, I could see your heart,
I could see your your care andyour compassion for the kids,
their families, uh, you know,and some of the challenges that

(06:41):
a lot of people face in ourarea.
And so you're on the front linesum, you know, with some amazing
people that help you.
But um, you know, I'm anxious tohear your story and to to get
into some of those uh challengesthat you see, and and maybe
there's some some people outthere that could get involved to
help in some way.
And so that's that's kind of howwe got here today.

(07:04):
So thank you for coming.

SPEAKER_01 (07:05):
Sure.

SPEAKER_04 (07:06):
We know you're excited.

SPEAKER_02 (07:08):
A little scared.
This is uh a little outside mycomfort zone, but I'm excited.

SPEAKER_07 (07:14):
Yeah, you're good.
So how we start every podcast iswe like we like to get a story
about you, and and that'llthat'll kind of lay the
foundation to what you're doingnow.
So talk about what life was likefor you as a child growing up.

SPEAKER_02 (07:27):
Sure.
So um, born and raised in PrebleCounty, um, I grew up in West
Alexandria, so went to school atTwin Valley South.
Um my parents divorced when Iwas young.
Um, and so always had theopportunity to kind of um live

(07:49):
in those two differenthouseholds, um, both wonderful
households.
Um, my my dad lived um themajority of my childhood with um
his parents.
So I had the opportunity umduring my time with him to be
around grandparents all thetime, which was a blessing.
Um and then with my mom in herhouse, um, again, always had the

(08:14):
chance to live around mygrandparents, live in close
proximity with them, which wasamazing.
Um grew up with um two sisters,Tara and Madison, I think some
of you know them.
Um and then when my mom marriedmy stepdad Mark, he also has two
daughters.
So when we were all together,there were five of us girls in

(08:35):
the house, which was um yes, I'msure you can imagine.
Um, it was a lot of fun.
We had a wonderful childhood.
Um, my parents both did anamazing job in raising me.
Um in those early years, Ireally had a strong bond with my
grandmother, my mom's mom.

(08:56):
Um she, I really look up to herin so many ways.
And I think that she really umshaped me and kind of set me on
a path in a way.
She is, I mean, anyone you talkto, they're always like, oh my
gosh, your grandma June is themost wonderful person I've ever
met in my entire life.

(09:17):
And they're right, she is.
She just has she has a heart ofgold.
She's such a giver.
She um, I mean, she would justdo any and anything and
everything for anyone.
And I saw that, you know, at avery early age and and kind of I
lived that through my, you know,my entire childhood because with

(09:40):
my grandmother having, you know,such a belief in helping people
and wrapping around people, thatpassed down to my mom, which
then passed down to me.
Um, so I just got all of thiswonderful, um, just all of these
one, I have all of thesewonderful examples, you know,
from a very early age of what itis to love people for who they

(10:01):
are, to wrap around people whenthey're going through difficult
times, to see people, to reallysee people.
Um, they just really shape me inthat way.
And then again, on my on mydad's side of the family,
growing up with um mygrandparents in that household
as well, you know, mygrandmother, my dad's mother um
was very, very strong in herfaith.

(10:23):
Um, very strong in her faith.
And that was something that shetalked to me about a lot, and we
went to church all the time.
Sometimes I'm like, I look backon that and I was reflecting um
for the podcast, and and Ithought, oh my gosh, like I
remember sometimes.
So she she went to the uhBaptist church.

(10:43):
And so I swear there would betimes we would be at church like
all day long.
It was like you and I'm like,okay, well, we already did
Sunday school and we did church,and then we had a
mother-grandmother event, andthen we have to go back to
church at six o'clock thatnight.
So um, you know, faith was veryimportant to her.
And so she really set a lot offoundational blocks for me in

(11:03):
that way, um, which has beenvery important in my work.
So um the other thing that thatcomes to mind when I think about
my childhood and the family thatI have and that I come from, you
know, I think about two things.
I think about very um honest,giving, warm people.
And I think about um the waythat they all work so hard.

(11:26):
And that was always such anexample for me.
Um, you know, I always saw mymom work hard.
She, my mom actually went backto nursing school when I think I
was, she'd have to quote me onthis, but I think I was like in
high school when my mom pursuedher nursing degree, um, which
was really tough because, youknow, like I said, I have two

(11:47):
other sisters.
And then when Mark's girls werethere, there were five of us.
So it was really, and I, and Iwatched her kind of, you know,
go through that and and reallypursue her dream and work hard
toward that.
And that really is a theme ofour our family.
It's kind of the example that isset is just that when I when I

(12:07):
look at them individually, Ijust see um hardworking people,
people that that just whateverit is that they do, they do it
to the best of their abilitiesand they take a lot of pride in
that.
And I um, you know, I just Ican't help but think that that
that got me to where I am, whereI am now.

(12:30):
Um being able to to come from,you know, a place of, you know,
sometimes people shine thisnegative light on on divorced
families.
But I, you know, when I reflecton it, I really think that I
kind of got the best of bothworlds because I I I got to see,
you know, I got to see both bothsides.

(12:51):
And I I I have brought in somuch from both sides into my
life and into what I do now.
I see that, you know, for me, Ithink it was important.
Um, but yeah, when I when Ireflect on on living, you know,
in West Alexandria in PrebleCounty, I just I personally I

(13:11):
have very um I have very goodchildhood memories.
I have uh memories of, you know,a childhood in a a close-knit
community and in a close-knitschool where it felt it felt
like home.
It felt like people know who youare, people, people see you,
people care about you, you know,the teachers in your classroom,
they know who your parents are.
Maybe they went to school withthem.

(13:32):
And um, and I know that that'snot that doesn't feel great to
everyone, but for me personally,um I I enjoyed living in that in
that small community with umwith just people that like like
I said, that you just you feltcared about.
Um but yeah, I mean, in anutshell, you know, that that

(13:54):
was kind of my my childhood.
And then um, you know, like Isaid, I went to Twin Valley
South after I graduated um fromTwin Valley South.
I thought I wanted to set offand embark, you know, go see
what these big cities have tooffer.
Um, so I started, so I um wentto college at the University of

(14:17):
Toledo for two years.
Um, I was studying criminaljustice.
And yeah, I know, I know.
Everyone has that reaction.
I'm like, do I not seem like acriminal justice person or no?
Um really, really, my goal was Ireally wanted to be a juvenile
probation officer.

(14:38):
That was just, I thought what, Ithought that's just what my
calling was.
I mean, I really did.
And so, you know.

SPEAKER_07 (14:47):
Did you did you have any experience with that?
Had you been involved in anywith the family members that did
that, or what was what was whatdo you think the reason was?

SPEAKER_02 (14:55):
Not really.
Um, I it's just something, justthe whole system has always been
very interesting to me, youknow, how people get involved in
the system, how we can supportthem to try to get them on a
better path.
And I really felt like if Ifocused on kind of that juvenile
probation role, I thought maybeI can intervene and try to

(15:17):
change things for these kids sothen they don't end up being
adult offenders.
Like I that was my thinking.
Um, and I had some experiencewith the court system, uh, not
personally, but had someexperience.
Yeah.
But um, you know, and andactually had an opportunity to

(15:40):
do some like job shadowing, um,did some time with Dave Linloff,
which if you guys know Dave, itwas we had some ex I had some
experiences for sure.
Um, and I just I really thoughtthat's what I wanted to do.
So I did two years at Toledo.
Um at the time, their criminaljustice program was only a
two-year degree, and I reallywanted to pursue a four-year.

(16:01):
So I kind of had to um shift.
And I started doing research onschools that were strong in
criminal justice programs, andEKU, um, Eastern Kentucky
University popped up, and Ithought, well, I guess we're
gonna go for it.
So um, yeah, halfway through mycollege experience, I uprooted

(16:22):
and moved to Kentucky.
I didn't there were a few Eatonpeople who were there, um, but
really other than that, didn'tdidn't know anyone.
Um and so then I finished Ifinished college at EKU and
graduated with my criminaljustice degree, my four-year
degree, which I was very proudof.
Um, so did that and um right outof college, well, in the middle

(16:49):
of all that is when I met Rickytoo.
So I would come home from fromcollege and work at Gels and
that we met and connected umright before I was going into my
senior year at EKU.
So um, but had a few jobs out ofcollege after I graduated, and I
realized I'm not so sure thatthis is what I should, this is

(17:13):
what I should be doing.
The work is important and I'm sograteful for the people who do
it, but I just quickly realizedthat I needed to be somewhere
else.
Um and it it was kind of crazythe way that things unfolded
with this success liaisonposition.

(17:34):
So at the time um I was workingfor the Preboel County
Prosecutor's Office, a divisionof that called Victim Witness.
So you work with um victims ofcrime and supporting them
through the the process um thatthey go through.
And I and I really enjoyed thatjob.
Um and I honestly I wasapproached about the success

(17:55):
liaison position.
I wasn't looking for a job.
I wasn't, I mean, nothing likethat.
Um just kind of one of the umthe girls from the team, she
approached me and she was like,hey, I've been doing this job at
National Trail.
We're running a pilot program,we're looking to expand.

(18:16):
And we would love to have you ifyou would consider it.
And I mean, it's one of thosemoments where you're sitting at
your office desk in this rolethat you're like, I like this
job.
I like the people I work with,you know, I'm kind of in a
groove here.
And it, and I was like, atfirst, I'm like, oh, I don't
know.
I like, I don't think so.
I I'm pretty set here, like, youknow, thank you, but no thanks.

(18:38):
And then, you know, it's one ofthose things where you go home
and you start to really thinkabout it and it's that like
pull.
You just feel it, you know, youfeel that like I think I should
take a closer look at this.
I think there there could besomething here.
Um and so I did that and decidedto pursue the success liaison

(19:01):
position.
So um yeah, after that, Istarted at Twin Valley South,
which was an honor.
It was so cool to be back um inyour old school.

SPEAKER_07 (19:15):
In my old school.
What was it a was it a toughdecision to make that
transition?
You kind you said you kind ofhad already been thinking that
maybe there needed to be achange, and this happened,
right?
For whatever reason.
So um, you know, was there s wasthere something about the old
job that you were doing that waslike, okay, I really don't like

(19:36):
this, or was it more about thekids?

SPEAKER_02 (19:40):
Well, I tell you, the the most challenging part of
the old job was at the time, umwe had like it was an on-call
response.
So if there were um, if therewere calls in the middle of the
night, we responded to be withvictims of crime, um,
specifically in domesticviolence situations.

(20:02):
And that was challenging for meat the time.
I had two little ones at home.
And um that part of it was umchallenging for me.
Now looking back on it, it waschallenging for me because, you
know, making child carearrangements at two o'clock in
the morning or whenever yourphone would ring.
Um, but also, you know,emotionally, that's it's the

(20:23):
work that victim advocates do isreally, really, really tough.
Um, we're blessed in thiscounty.
We have amazing advocates.
Um, but it's it's difficult.
And I loved the people I workedwith.
I felt so supported and the workthat they were doing was so
incredible.
But, you know, there weremoments in that role where I was

(20:45):
like, I don't know.
I love the people I work with.
I I love supporting victims, butis this where I'm supposed to
be?
And you know, you can't reallypush those feelings down.
When they're there, they'rethere.
Um, you try to sometimes becauseyou're like, I'm just having a
bad day.
This is not really that bad.
I'm just having a bad day.
But um, and I think it was justthe perfect, you know, I think

(21:09):
it was just God's timing.
I mean, um, I can see that now.
At the time, it was like verystressful for me because I
thought, oh my gosh, like I'mtaking such a chance on this.
They've they've run this programas a pilot program at National
Trail for half a stinking schoolyear.
And I'm gonna take this leap offaith on a super steady career,

(21:29):
you know, with great benefitsand great people I work with and
a job that, you know, yeah,sometimes it has hiccups, but
for the most part, I'm doingokay in this, you know, in this
work.
So it was um it was a huge leapof faith.
Um but I'm so glad that I didit.

(21:51):
But I I struggle with change.
I'm just a person that, youknow, it's not easy for me
because I always am thinking,like, am I making the right
decision?
You know, right?
Like all the things that we allroll and play in our heads.
And I don't know.
There was just this quiet littlelike, just do it, just do it,
just do it, just do it.
And I did it.
Sometimes I still can't believeI did it, or I found the courage

(22:14):
to do it.

SPEAKER_07 (22:15):
Just because you were you were in that comfort
zone, and and again, change ishard for most people.
And the scary thing to do is totake the step.
Yes, but you took the step.

SPEAKER_02 (22:24):
I took the step.

SPEAKER_07 (22:25):
So you go back into your old school.
Yes, into a new position.
That's kind of unknown.

SPEAKER_02 (22:30):
Unknown, unknown to the school as well.
Because you have to understand,you know, when the districts
decided, yes, this is goingwonderful at National Trail,
okay, Preble County, your otherdistricts, do you guys want
this?
And they say yes.
Well, it was foreign to teacherstoo, right?

(22:51):
So, like, you know, I'm at Southon my first day, and it's like,
okay, come to me with all thethings.
Like, I want to be helpful, Iwant to support families.
And the teachers are like, andthe staff are like, we don't
even I don't even know what youdo yet, you know.
We don't I'm like, I don'teither.
I don't either.
We're gonna have to figure thisout because I don't know either.
Um but man, it just it quicklytook off.

(23:13):
Um it was like once, you know,once teachers had and staff had
a good understanding of how wecould be helpful and supportive
to families, and they and theysaw um the support and how
supportive it could be tofamilies, it was just like this,
just this beautiful kind ofthing.

(23:35):
You you just watched grow.
And then, you know, during mytime there, you know, not only
did you start to have like theschool and the staff had an
understanding of what we do, butthen it started broadening, like
the community started hearingabout our work.
And then you would get thechurches call you and they would

(23:55):
say, Hey, we see you doing thisin the school.
How can we help you?
What can we do for you?
You know, we want to help kids,like just tell us, you know,
where where can we plug in?
Um and so that was reallyamazing to see too, because I
say it all the time and I meanit.
Um we really cannot we cannot dothis work without the support of

(24:18):
our community.
It would be impossible.
So yeah, but when I think backto those first couple months, I
was like, oh, I don't know.
I don't even know if I made theright decision here because it
just took a while to to grow it.

SPEAKER_07 (24:37):
Yeah, but something was on your heart.
I mean, I think we've all beenin different situations like
that where you just get afeeling and you know, you don't
know why.
And then all of a sudden, thisopportunity, you know, someone
sits down with you and says,Hey, why don't you consider
doing this?
And you're like, No.
But then you go home and lay atbed at night and you're like,
you know what?
Maybe I can have a bigger impactin that.

(24:59):
And uh, you know, I it kind ofgoes back to even what we're
doing right here, right now.
You know, there's many timeswhere we're just like, what the
heck are we gonna talk about?
Like this is this is not us, youknow, we're really putting
ourselves out there, but everyday it's just it's just like the
conversation with you last week.
And, you know, and as you'retalking about some of the stuff
that we'll get in here that um,you know, that that you guys do,

(25:22):
and and a lot of the needs forour our community, you know, I
just kept hearing this voicejust saying, Allie needs to be
on the podcast.
Like there's someone out thereneeds to hear, you know, what
the success liaison role is allabout and what the needs are,
because there's people thatlisten that have giving hearts
that can help, and that andthat's what we need.
So um, you know, there's areason that that that happened.

(25:45):
So, okay, so now what I want youto talk about is what what does
the success liaison role, whatdoes that look like?
What what do you do for theschools?

SPEAKER_02 (25:55):
Sure.
So I think I think it'simportant to start with the fact
that every Preble Countydistrict now has a success
liaison, which is so exciting.
Um and what we do in the schoolsessentially is we help we wrap
around families and help them bysupporting them with needs that

(26:15):
kind of fall outside of theschool setting.
So typically that is around umlike a lack of basic needs.
So what we do is we receive likewhat we call referrals from um
typically staff members in theschool buildings.
It can be anyone though.
That's what I one of the thingsI love about our program.

(26:36):
If you're just a neighbor tosomeone and you're like, you
know, I see this mom struggling,you know, I know she just
separated with her spouse, likeanyone can make a referral to
our program, which I love.
But typically they come fromschool staff.
Um, and and really what they dois teachers will pop in, they'll
send us an email, they will callus and they'll say, Hey, like,

(26:57):
I'm noticing some of thesethings in my student, or the
parent just um, you know, let meknow that this is happening in
their home.
Will you please reach out andsee if they, you know, need some
support?
So typically what that lookslike is, you know, I'll pick up
the phone and call the parentand I'll just let them know,
hey, you know, um this wasbrought to my attention, just

(27:19):
reaching out to try to see, youknow, how I can support you.
Could we sit down and just talkabout, you know, your situation?
Um, and once I have anunderstanding of, you know, what
you're going through, then maybewe can create a plan of support.
Now, obviously, for people whodon't know me, you know, when
someone from the school iscalling you and they're saying,

(27:41):
you know, talk to me about this,um, that can be really
terrifying for parents, right?
Like, I mean, they're like, Idon't know this lady, you know,
she's calling me wanting to knowwhat we have going on.
Um, and that's why we we reallysay in our program that the
relationship that we build withpeople is so important.

(28:02):
With we call them clients, withthe clients that we serve, it's
so important because um, youknow, for someone to tell you
and to talk about how difficultthings are and how much they're
struggling, they have to, theyhave to trust you and know that,
you know, you're only askingthem because you want to help
them and be helpful to them.

(28:22):
Um, because it can feel veryscary for some of our clients.
Many of them, you know, grew upnot having positive childhood
experiences, um, maybe from liketheir own family or um, you
know, from experiences that theyhad in school or whatever it
might be.
Many of them didn't, you know,unfortunately didn't have people

(28:46):
they could count on um, youknow, as children.
And so breaking through thatsometimes is really challenging.
But I feel like you just you doit with love.
You when you call them, you youput you try to put yourself in
their shoes, you know, and andthink about like what would it

(29:07):
feel like if I was receivingthis phone call and how would I
want it to go?
How would I want someone to talkto me about this?
And I I really try to, you know,every time before I pick up the
phone and make those phonecalls, I really try to put
myself in their shoes.
Um and then, you know, afterthat conversation with the
parent, if they're like, youknow, I think I would like to

(29:29):
come in and talk to you and, youknow, see what, see how you can
help, then usually I bring theminto my office and we kind of
again, we just chat about whatthey're going through, what led
them to this point.
And then we create a plan ofsupport based on whatever it is
that they share.
Um, so you know, if it's like amom saying, I'm facing utility

(29:51):
disconnection and I'm reallyafraid because, you know, it's
cold outside.
If we don't have electricity,like this is gonna be really a
challenge for me.
Then what we do is we um we linkthem to community resources that
can be helpful.
And not only do we just linkthem, but we help them fill out
the applications.

(30:12):
If there's some red tape that wehave to try to break through,
which sometimes, you know, withwith larger agencies like job
and family services, sometimesthere are some tricky
applications and some red tapethat you really you have to work
through and help the familiesbecause it's very challenging.
Um we help them with with thatwhole process.

(30:33):
And then any other needs thatthat come up along along the way
and uh in our journey with them.
Um we primarily, like I said, wedeal with a lot of basic needs,
concerns.

SPEAKER_07 (30:51):
How do you those are those are difficult
conversations?

SPEAKER_02 (30:55):
Yes.

SPEAKER_07 (30:56):
Have you had moments or instances where they say we
don't need help and they hangup?

SPEAKER_02 (31:01):
Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (31:02):
How do you handle those?

SPEAKER_02 (31:04):
You know, my philosophy with those phone
calls has always been like,don't give up on them, right?
Because the reality is if I'm intheir shoes and Allie Schaefer's
calling me from the school, I'mprobably gonna be a little bit
like, oh, they cannot know.
Nope, I'm not telling them.

(31:25):
They cannot know.
Who knows what she'll do withthis information, right?
I mean, so typically what what Ido is just like that gentle
engagement over time, right?
Because we know in most of thosesituations, I know that the
family needs help and and thechallenges that they're facing

(31:46):
are not gonna go away.
So it's not, it's not, you know,a matter of maybe they're not
open to it right now.
But if you can just gently builda rapport with them, you know,
you see them in the building andyou just say hi to them, or you
try to have like smallinteractions where you can build
trust with them.
Um I have a family that comes tomind when I think about that.

(32:10):
Um I called them because I knewthey were in a really difficult
situation.
And I called them and they were,they were not open, very polite
about it, but just like, no, no,thank you.
And then I think over time theirtheir situation just got more,
just got challenging.
And they, I think they couldn'treally manage it anymore.

(32:31):
And again, I would try to havethose small interactions in the
building with them, or um, youknow, if if there were
opportunities where like, likefor shoes for the shoe list or
programming like that, I wouldsend it out to them just to try
to build some trust.
Um, and then fast forward, itwas probably, it was probably
like I'm guessing two schoolyears later.

(32:52):
That would be a guess, but I'mguessing.
Um finally I got a call fromthem.
Hey, can we can we sit down withyou?
And it was that moment where Iwas like, it works, but you have
to have the patience.
You know, you have to have thepatience and you have to give
people the space and allow themto have services on their own

(33:16):
time.
Because that's the beautifulthing about our program.
It's voluntary and it's meant tobe supported or supportive.
It's not meant to be somethingwhere families feel like they
have to do it.
Um, they do it because it's formost, you know, situations it's
helpful to them and they andthey want to.

(33:38):
Um, but I think about thatfamily, and it's that, it's just
that dance with resistance, youknow, that you have to sometimes
you just have to ride that wavewith them.
And that's hard.
That's really hard for teachersand staff in buildings because
they love these kids.
They love them like their own.
And they're like, why won't themom just work with you?

(34:01):
Why won't the family just workwith you?
And it's hard, especially whenyou know they need the help, but
it's being honoring of theperson.
And that's a lot of that'simportant in our jobs too.

SPEAKER_07 (34:13):
Yeah, it just takes time.

SPEAKER_02 (34:15):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (34:17):
Talk about the need.
You know, Preble County is not awe're a rural county.
There's five schools, uh, schooldistricts in the county.
Talk about the need in ourlittle small area.

SPEAKER_02 (34:28):
Yeah.
The need, what I will say aboutthe need is it would surprise
you.
It would surprise you.
Early in my years, um, when Iwould speak at churches or like,
you know, things like that,people would come up to me
afterward and they were like,gosh, we really have kids coming
to school that like aren'twearing socks or don't have

(34:49):
lunch money on their accounts ordon't have you know electricity
on at home.
And I'm like, oh yes.
They've always been there.
It's just we didn't really havean opportunity to see them or to
help them.
Um really the the need in PrebleCounty, it's those things that

(35:15):
we take for granted when we walkin our house.
You know, it's opening thatcupboard and having pretty much
anything at your disposal.
It's having clothing that fits,that's not your sisters or your
cousins.

(35:36):
It's having a winter coat to puton when you walk out the door.
It's having you know, a pair ofshoes that fit you, a pair of
socks to wear that that areclean.
Um it's having a car that'sreliable when you know you have
to work because that's the wayyou support your family.

(35:59):
You know, it's all of thosethings that we access every
single day, that running waterthat you take a shower with
every morning.
Um, it's all of those thingsthat we touch every day that we
don't think twice about, butthat some of these families are
struggling so much they cannot,you know, they cannot provide

(36:21):
that to their children.
And then when you think aboutthat, and then you think about
the children in the classroom,you know, and when they're
facing these things at home,whether it be, you know, our
electricity was shut offyesterday, or um, you know, in
November we didn't get our SNAPbenefit, and food is so, so

(36:43):
tight right now.
Um, when they have those worrieson their mind, it's so hard for
them to sit in a classroom andto be fully engaged
academically.
And so I think like I said, Ialways tell people the need
would surprise you.
We see it every day in our work.

SPEAKER_07 (37:05):
You know, one of the conversations that we had last
week at the career fair, youwere talking about laundry.

SPEAKER_00 (37:13):
Yes.

SPEAKER_07 (37:14):
And the need for washers and dryers.
Yes.
And that's that's what reallygot me.
You know, you hear the storiesabout the kids not having proper
nutrition.
Uh, we obviously know about theshoes for the shoeless in that
program and those things.
I mean, all these things againthat you said we take for
granted.

SPEAKER_00 (37:33):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (37:34):
But when you talked about the washer and the dryers,
that's when I was like, holycow.
So, so talk about thatspecifically, because there was
a couple instances that that youshared.
Um, you know, the struggles thata mom has that got to go down
and wash laundry and go back upand make dinner and then come
back and the laundry's gone.

SPEAKER_02 (37:52):
Yes.

SPEAKER_07 (37:52):
So share some of those stories if you would.

SPEAKER_02 (37:54):
Sure.
So, you know, and I think Ithink I talked to Ben about
this.
Was this last year at Shoes forthe Shoeless?
Yeah.
I think you asked me, you saidWhere are the other needs here
in Pebble County?
What is something that like,what is a need that is there and
it's real, but like we haven'tbeen able to problem solve fully

(38:15):
yet.
And I think I told you laundry.
Yeah, it's laundry.
Um, because really we we havesome community resources for
laundry, but my dream and myvision is to have laundry access
for the entire county for folksto be able to utilize.

(38:38):
And Ben has done some researchfor me and he's been so helpful
in trying.
We're we're trying.
We're trying.
And we talk about how laundryshould not be complicated,
right?
This is something that, again,we go home, we throw a load of
laundry in, throw this open, andwe think nothing of it.
But the reality is laundry ischallenging for families who um

(39:04):
are in a low-income status.
It just is, depending on theirliving situations.
I think I shared with you inEton, we have some folks who are
living like an apartment styleliving, and they do have access
to washers and dryers, butthere's so many challenges
around that.
Um, you know, they have, they'veshared with me the heartache of,

(39:28):
you know, putting in a load oflaundry.
Um, and, you know, mind you, theloads of laundry to wash, I
mean, it's expensive, you know,it's probably like, I don't
know, I'm guessing, but likedouble or triple what we pay a
load, you know, like in our homesetting.
Um, but you know, it's like whenthey finally get the money and

(39:48):
the means to be able to do thatlaundry and prioritize that.
Um, the devastation of, youknow, sometimes, and we hear it,
um, they'll put the load in,start it, and then um either
their clothes will be taken outof the washer and sat on the
floor, and then a person willput their laundry in and utilize
like the cycle, um, or theclothing will be stolen

(40:12):
completely.
Um, and of course, you know, wework with a ton of families, but
a lot of our clients are singlemoms.
And and, you know, for the forthem, um, when something like
that happens, it's devastating.
And of course, we we can rallyaround them after the fact and
after that happens.
Um, but this this challengearound just having, you know,

(40:39):
clean clothing, it's just such ait's such a struggle.
And, you know, we we see it, andI think when I think about the
families we serve, I think abouthow they are tasked with trying
to, you know, kind of budget themoney for the month, you know.

(41:04):
Um, and I think none of us areblind to the fact that
everything is very expensiveright now.
It's very expensive.
And they're they're strugglingfinancially, just like you know,
all of us are.
And I think that laundry is oneof those things that it just
gets kind of pushed to the side,right?

(41:27):
Because yes, it's necessary, butwhen you compare it to food or
when you compare it to the otherneeds that these families are
facing, it takes a back seat.
Um, but what I will tell you isfor children, that can become
very challenging in a schoolsetting, right?

(41:49):
Because then there are concernsthat come to us from teachers,
which are very fair about, youknow, hygiene and things like
that.
All of the things that comefrom, you know, not having not
having clean clothing.
And socially, the impact thatthat can have on children can

(42:09):
honestly be devastating, right?
I mean, because as humans, it'sunkind, but it's natural,
especially with smallerchildren, that right, you pull
away from from people when theyhave, you know, an odor or um
something like that.
So socially it can be reallyhard for kids, and into those

(42:30):
teenage years as well, you know,and um so my dream is to have a
place, and we and we've talkedabout this so many different
ways, but just to have a placewhere families can go and just
do as much laundry as they need,right?

(42:53):
Because to me, that's such abasic need as well.
I don't know that we necessarilyclassify it as that, but like,
right, I mean, just having aclean shirt to put on.
Um and so my dream is to have aplace where people can go and
and where they know that, like,hey, you know, I'm gonna be able

(43:17):
to do my laundry here.
This is a safe space.
This is a place where you know,I can I can get that that taken
care of and I can check that offof my list.

SPEAKER_07 (43:28):
So ideally, where would that be?

SPEAKER_02 (43:30):
I don't know.
We've talked about this so manytimes.
Um, you know, I do know that,and again, like with Ben, we've
both kind of done someindependent research, like how
are other people doing this?
What does this look like?
And I know that um in somecounties, like they will partner
with laundromats and they willdo like vouchers, right?

(43:52):
So like the laundry mats areobviously already there, and
then um the families receive avoucher for like so many loads
of laundry.
Um, I think it goes based onyour family size.
Um the one of the challenges isthough, in in Preble County, we
don't have very many laundrymats like still available.

(44:13):
So I don't know, like, I don'tknow necessarily what that would
look like for us.
But then I, you know, I'm adreamer.
And I'm like, well, what if, youknow, so for every pocket of
Preble County, right?
Because Eaton kind of tends tobe that central hub where we
focus everything, but I knowthat, you know, the families

(44:34):
that who we have living inCamden or in the National Trail
School District, it'schallenging for them
transportation-wise, sometimesto get to Eton.
And so whatever we do, I want tobe mindful of the families in
those pockets of the county andmaking sure that we can offer
that service to them and it beavailable.

(44:54):
So then I started thinking aboutcould we partner with churches
in every community?
And it could essentially be, youknow, an outreach that the
church does.
I don't know.
I've thought about it so manyways.
And I and then Ben, you you havedone research with Yeah, loads

(45:14):
of love, I believe.

SPEAKER_04 (45:15):
Yeah.
And then so that's one wherethey partner with, I believe
it's seven generations is thelaundry soap.
And then um, but they partnerwith laundromats and they have a
conversation.
There's like an hour's like, youknow, might be a two-hour gap uh
in a day where people will go inand they'll serve for them.
So, you know, they bring intheir laundry, you do the
laundry for them, and it's likea mission.

(45:35):
Um, and I think you know, we hadthat conversation.
And then the other one, which isjust a it feels like to me a
no-brainer would be what yousaid about the churches, right?
Um I believe you might have saidit when we were talking the
other day about, you know, Jesuswashed feet.
Yeah.
Like, wouldn't it be awesome ifthe church can wash clothes?

SPEAKER_02 (45:51):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (45:52):
Um, what a mission statement that would be, you
know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 (45:55):
I envision this.
I envision this space where likeif we could get some churches on
board, you know, where familiescould come and do laundry and
also just be like talk to, youknow, like just hey, how are

(46:15):
you?
Like, is there anything we canhelp you with as a church?
Can we, you know, if if it's notprayer, like what what can we do
to support you?
Um, because that is a commontheme amongst the families that
we serve.
I know I do, I take for grantedthe amazing people that I have
in my life always cheering meon.

(46:37):
These people, some of theclients who we work with, they
really don't have a lot ofpeople in their corner.
Um, and so when you think aboutthere's a lot of downtime when
you're doing laundry, you canhave a lot of conversation doing
laundry, yeah, you know.
Um and I just think churches area safe space too, you know.

SPEAKER_04 (46:58):
Like, yeah, it's it's one that when we had the
conversation, I believe Ibelieve we started the
conversation at shoes for theshoe list, and I believe the
kids were playing at the poolone day and we're talking about
it there.

SPEAKER_02 (47:09):
Started back up.
Yeah, it's one that starteddreaming again.

SPEAKER_04 (47:12):
Yes, and it's one that angers me because you know,
you you talk about like uh theparents and they're trying to do
it, and it's stuff we take forgranted, and they're sitting
here, you know.
Me personally, you thinkgovernment shut down, and it's
like, well, in my life, do Ireally can I tell that the
government shut down?
No.
Like me personally, where I'mat, no, I can't.
But then you hear about the snapbenefits gone.
And then we had the conversationat the uh career day, and you're

(47:34):
like, you know, these people aretrying to figure out, okay, do I
do I buy a little bit of foodfor my family or do I wash
clothes?

SPEAKER_01 (47:40):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (47:41):
Well, then what's like the biggest crisis in my
eyes right now in the schoolsystem?
Um, just overall, not just, youknow, with families with needs,
is what mental health?

SPEAKER_01 (47:51):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (47:51):
So imagine a first and second grader walking in and
all the kids, nobody wants to bearound them, nobody wants to
stay around them.

SPEAKER_00 (47:57):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (47:57):
Third, fourth, fifth grade comes around.
It's the same as that thing.

SPEAKER_00 (48:01):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (48:01):
What do you think that person or that kid, that
child's view of themselves is?
Yeah.
What's wrong with me?
Why does nobody want to be myfriend?
Why, you know, these are suchsmall, in my eyes, such small
problems that there should betons of solutions for, right?
Yeah.
Like if if we are, you know, Iview myself as a Christian, if
if, you know, all these churchesand stuff in our county, like if

(48:22):
we're really about it, then beabout it.
You know what I mean?

unknown (48:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (48:25):
Um well, and to be fair to our churches and to our
community, they don't know untilthey know.
You know, and I and I reallyhaven't done a great job of like
the outreach piece of it.
Um, but maybe like we talkedabout, and this is where my
bravery came from for thepodcast, because I thought maybe

(48:46):
if I go on, maybe someone willbe willing to to think about it.

SPEAKER_07 (48:52):
Yeah.
And have an idea.
Have an idea.

SPEAKER_02 (48:55):
We could do a committee where we just
brainstorm because I do thinkthat um, yeah, it's just laundry
is so simple and it's somethingthat we do every day and we
think nothing of it.
But for some of the familiesthat we work with in our program

(49:16):
and the children that we see inthe school buildings, it's
important.

SPEAKER_04 (49:20):
Yeah.
And that's what for me, and whenI say churches, I think that's
the biggest thing that that Isay that I think people view it
as like building or like the theleaders of churches, and I feel
like that's not where we falloff.
You know what I mean?
I feel like the leaders inchurches are amazing.
I feel like they're greatpeople, but then there's the
people that are churches, whichis the church in the Bible is
like the people like of Jesus,right?

(49:41):
The followers, like whereveryou're gathered, like you cannot
belong to a church, but yougather and you talk about God or
or you act in the you know, theway that Jesus acted, I believe
that's church.
And one that hit me for todaywas Matthew 26.
It says, For I was hungry, youfed me.
I was thirsty, you gave me adrink.
I was a stranger, you invited meinto your home.
I was naked, you gave meclothing.
I was sick, you cared for me.

(50:02):
I was imprisoned, you visitedme.
Then the righteous one willreply, because this is Jesus
talking, Lord, when did we eversee you hungry or feed you, or
thirsty and gave you somethingto drink, or a stranger that
showed you hospitality, or nakedand gave you clothing?
When did we ever see you sick orin prison or visit you?
And then the king will say, Itell you the truth, when you did

(50:24):
it to the one of the least ofthese brothers and sisters, you
were doing it for me.
Like it's not about like, yes,you're serving those people, and
uh we need to serve thosepeople, but like it tells you,
like, if this is what you'reabout, like it's all over
scripture, you know?
And that's what breaks mebecause it's like, man, you
know, that's why people areagainst religion a lot of times,

(50:45):
is people say they're a part ofchurch because they go to it on
Sunday, but are they reallyliving the word?
Are they really leaving whatJesus tells us to do?
And I don't know, that's whatwhen I talk about the church,
it's almost like not the thebuildings and and that, but the
community, right?
Yeah, there's a need in ourcommunity, let's do something
about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (51:03):
Well, and I think about you know, I I think about
these kids.
You know, I think about the kidin the corner of the classroom
that's away from everybody.
And um, you know, again, it goesback to mental health, but you
know, these kids, a lot of thesekids already lack confidence.
Oh, yeah.
And you take a child with dirtyclothes or with, you know, like

(51:24):
what we've seen, we've we'vetalked about a little bit, the
shoes for the shoeless.
I mean, that was an eye-openingexperience for me as well.
Was it getting involved in thatand and uh the the shoes for the
shoeless program is amazing.
I mean, what an amazing programto be a I mean, I was so touched
by it.
I we brought most of our teamfrom Catron's Glass last year to
um to National Trail.

(51:46):
And um because again, it wasjust one of those things, you
know, we get so caught up in ourdaily lives, our the busyness of
all the stuff that we have goingon, and you see certain things,
but until you actually hold achild's hand and walk with them
through the gym, and you sitdown and you take their shoes
off and you take their socks offand you get to know them, yeah,

(52:10):
and you go get them a new pairof socks, and you go get them a
pair of shoes that's the colorthat they like, that fit, that
are clean.
Like you do not realize the needthat's out there.
I did not realize the needthat's out there.
And then you add into the factlast week when we're talking
about the whole laundrysituation, and I just start, I
again, I can, you know, I justthink of holding that child's

(52:32):
hand as I'm walking through thegym, as I'm putting shoes on
them, and I think about they getup to school the next day, and
that whole week they've beenwearing the same set of clothes.
Maybe they went through gymclass and they've sweated, maybe
they've been outside and it'srained.
All the things that we take forgranted, that the the need in
our community is so great, youknow, we can do more.

(52:53):
And that's why I wanted you uphere was to talk about this.
And I don't know what the answeris, if it's the churches with
the laundry, if it's doingsomething with the schools and
and applying for grants to to Idon't know what it is, but I I
hope and pray that someone outthere is listening right now
that has potentially has someresources, that has ideas that

(53:14):
we can pursue.
Because I think if we want tobreak a cycle, yeah, if we want
to make a family better thanwhat they've got, which we all
want that, right?
We want our kids to be betterthan what we are.

SPEAKER_00 (53:26):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (53:28):
There's people out there that need help, and we
need to be the ones, like yousaid, we are the church to help
those people.

SPEAKER_01 (53:34):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (53:36):
The shoe for the shoeless, I'm sure you got many
stories, and but yeah, like someof the Iowa opening stories was
was it last year or it mighthave been last year or two years
ago when kid came in with nosocks and he said it was my my
brother's turn to wear them.
And then all of a sudden thebrother comes in and they're
huge on him.
And it was because of they'rehis dad's socks and he was able

(53:56):
to to wear them.
Just stories like that.
I mean, I'm sure you get tons ofthem, but those ones just break
you, right?

SPEAKER_02 (54:02):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And and again, it's people talklike all the time, you know,
people say to me, I just, I hadno idea.
I had no idea.
And it, you know, with withchildren in that situation and
with families in thesesituations, they a lot of times,
you know, they suffer insilence.
That's what they that's whatthey know, you know.

(54:25):
And um sometimes like we and itgoes back to you said, like,
when you call them, do you getresistance?
Well, yes, of course.
Like they never in a millionyears did they dream someone
would pick up the phone and justwant to help them, right?

SPEAKER_04 (54:42):
Um especially the day and age we live in now.
It's like you call and offer mehelp.
Okay, well, what do I have togive back to you for you to help
me?
Like, why would you just want tohelp?

SPEAKER_01 (54:51):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (54:52):
You know, that's sadly the world we live in.

SPEAKER_01 (54:55):
Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_07 (54:56):
How do you yeah, you know, I'm I'm sure there's days
you go home and you're justcrushed by conversations that
you've had or by things thatyou've seen.
How do you how do you go home?
You've got three children, yougot a husband, you've got a
house, you got all these things,you know, to to maintain and to

(55:18):
do.
How do you separate that?

SPEAKER_02 (55:22):
Well, it's I mean, I'll be honest, it's hard, it's
difficult.
Um I think the m I think I usedtools to help me.
Um number one, I think it'salways about like my faith in

(55:43):
believing that I don't do thiswork alone.
Um I've always kind of had thismindset of like I really do feel
closest to God when I'm in thisrole and doing this work.
For me, it's not necessarily inchurch.

(56:05):
And I know that that kind ofbecause I know it's important to
be in church.
Um, but that's where I lean onhim to kind of be like, I got
this until tomorrow.
I promise, you know, I've gotit.
Um, so it's just it's faith andalso, you know, just trying to

(56:31):
shift my focus to being home andbeing present because as
difficult as it can be to hearthe stories and to to kind of
take all of that in all of thetime.
Um, I believe that, you know, mykids deserve, and Ricky deserves

(56:52):
um for me to be present for themwhen I'm home too.
Um I'm not perfect at it.
There are days that are notgreat.
Um, because I I just worry, Iworry about some of these
situations so much.
And I and I not only do I worry,but for the kids and for their

(57:16):
families, I wish it could bedifferent for them, you know?
And I feel like my brain isalways like, okay, well, maybe
we could try this, and maybe wecould try this, or if I called
this person or this agency, andmaybe we could advocate for
that.
And so it's hard to shut downthat noise, but but typically
what I have to remind myself ofis that my family deserves time

(57:38):
with me, um, where I'm focusedon them too.
Just as much as I'm focused onthe families that I serve, um,
they deserve that.
And and truly, I know thissounds weird, but like exercise
too, because it helps me.
Um, I usually do my workouts inthe evening.
And it just helps me kind ofwork through and process some of

(58:00):
that.
Um it was, I didn't always loveexercise in that way.
Um, but I use it as a toolbecause um what we see and what
we hear and what we deal with umon a regular basis, it is
heartbreaking.
It's heartbreaking.
And sometimes it feels, you feellike, oh my gosh, like I'm just

(58:23):
running in a hamster wheel.
I say that all the time.
I'm like, I'm just running in ahamster wheel.
Um, but yeah, it's somethingthat you try so hard to check it
out the door.
Some days are better thanothers, but you use tools.
And I lean on, you know, I leanon my family a lot too.

(58:45):
Like when it's really rough, youknow, my um my sister Tara is a
foster parent.
She lives in Dallas.
And so we, you know, sharestories and frustrations because
sometimes, you know, our thethings that we're experiencing
are similar.
Um and I lean on my familysometimes when it gets really

(59:07):
heavy.
Because you just have to.
I mean, poor Ricky has he's beenmy unpaid therapist for many
years, many years.
I think he could probably tellyou what I'm gonna say before it
even comes out of my mouth.
Um but yeah, I do my best withit, but it's hard.
I mean, I would be lying if Isaid, Oh, you just walk right in

(59:29):
your door and here we go.
Yeah.
It's not always like that.

SPEAKER_07 (59:32):
No, no, but you know, what's amazing for me with
you is, you know, hearing yourstory growing up with with your
your grandparents and and yourparents, you know, that caring
heart, you know, seeing thatservant leadership.
I mean, that's it, that's whatyou're doing.

SPEAKER_01 (59:47):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (59:48):
You know, what you're doing is serving others
and and there's a burden tothat.

SPEAKER_01 (59:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (59:52):
And I think it's important, you know, like you
said, with exercise, withconversation, you know, to not
hold things in because It canget really, really heavy because
when you have a caring heart,you're thinking of others.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:06):
And then you sometimes forget about yourself.
And so it's important to uh torecognize that.
And I think you have.
It doesn't mean that it's easy.
Right.
It's not.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:16):
Holidays are probably the most challenging
time for me.

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:19):
And that was another thing you talked about was the
need in our area.
How many people were in need?

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:25):
Oh my goodness.
So, so we um we do Christmassupport for the entire county.
Um, it's a program calledChristmas for Kids.
Our team leads the um kind oforganizational pieces and parts
of it, but the community andeveryone in the community makes

(01:00:45):
it happen, right?
We just kind of organize it.
Um, and I think what I wassharing with you guys at
National Trail is, and ofcourse, this did not surprise us
again with kind of where we areright now.
Um, we are well over 900children in Preble County who
are registered for Christmasassistance this year.

(01:01:08):
Um, there was some some mentionof, and I don't know where we
are with our current number, butthat we might hit a thousand
kids this year.
Um, so again, it just it speaksto the need.
Um you know, it's just in in inthe Christmas for kids program,
it's incredible because again,we organize it, we do all of the

(01:01:34):
pieces and parts, but thecommunity fully makes it happen.
I mean, we still, I mean, wehave people reaching out like on
our um Facebook page, like stillasking for tags.
Do you have any tags left thathaven't been taken?
Churches, you know, hey, anykids who we could help with,
even if they're last minute.
I mean, it's it's incredible tothink that, you know, 900 kids

(01:02:01):
have their Christmases takencare of just by people who care.
And that's the thing that makesthis work so special is we do,
and I think that's why I wascalled to come back to
Prabhupada County and to give tothis county, it's because we

(01:02:22):
have so many caring people inthis community.
We really do.
I mean, like yesterday, youknow, we had a snow day, which
was awesome.
Um, but yesterday, two peoplemessaged me.
One person from a church, hey,we haven't, we haven't been able
to reach out to you yet, but howcan we help?
How can we plug in?

(01:02:43):
And then another one, hey, youknow, we'd like to do a
donation.
Can you help us?
Can you help guide me throughthat process?
Like just people who just wantto give.
Um, and it's amazing.
But the holidays are difficultfor me personally because um a
couple of reasons.

(01:03:04):
We know that we have childrenwho you know their family
situations are difficult.
And for many of those children,school is a safe place, it's a
super safe place.
It's not uncommon to seebehaviors and tears um before
long holiday breaks likeChristmas and and Thanksgiving.

(01:03:28):
Um because for some of ourchildren, it is the best place
they've ever known.
And um, you know, that that isjust their reality.
So I sometimes over Christmasbreak, you know, I struggle with
that because we we know whatthese kiddos are facing in their

(01:03:48):
home lives, in their situations,in the worry that comes with
that.
Because, you know, the realityfor me um is these are the not
only the children I serve in myprofessional role, but these are
the kids in my community.
These are the kids that sit nextto my kids at school.

(01:04:10):
These are the kids that I careso much about in their families.
And um you see the struggle, andsometimes during the holidays,
it's hard to be fully presentwhen you know people have so
many things going on.
It's almost like you get thislittle pang of guilt a little
bit, like gosh, we are blessedbeyond measure.

(01:04:33):
You know, you see your kidsopening gifts or you know, just
all of the things, and you justyou think about the people who
are going through difficulttimes, and it's very humbling.
It's very humbling work.
Um but I really would not haveit any other way.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:04:52):
It's amazing.
I can see the I can see thepassion and the care in your
eyes, uh, and and hear it inyour voice.
And you know, our community isamazing.
I mean, it really is.
We have some amazing people,amazing leaders.
Uh, you know, a lot of times allwe hear from from people is
negative things, and and thatcan draw you down, but man, deep

(01:05:12):
at the heart of our smallcommunity are some amazing
people who care and who want togive back and who want to help
others.
And and I hope that those thatare out there that are
listening, that maybe you feellike you're not doing enough.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:26):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:05:27):
How can they get in contact with you to at least
have a conversation to say, hey,how how can I how can I help?
What can I do?
What can I give?

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:38):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:05:38):
How how can people get in touch with you?

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:41):
Um, well, they can always call, um, you know, call
my cell phone.
That's what most people do.
Um, they can email me at my atmy school email.
Um, would be happy to have aconvenient a conversation and
see how they want to connect.
And that's the that's thebeautiful thing, is we have so
many different people who helpour who want to help and help

(01:06:02):
our program in so many differentways.
Like we have churches who theyfocus on helping us with shoes.
And then we have some communitymembers who focus on helping us
with lunch account balances.
And, you know, like it's just,it's whatever is on their heart.
Like we had a new um thing popup last year, last school year,

(01:06:23):
where we had a community memberwho she wanted to bake like nice
cakes for kids for theirbirthdays, like free of charge.
I mean, it's just it'sincredible.
And then, you know, as families,as we're working with them and
needs come up, then we're like,oh yeah, she we can plug her
into, you know, working withher.
So yeah, any any way that peoplewant, it doesn't have to be

(01:06:44):
money, you know, it can be time.
It can be time, it can be, youknow, I this single mom needs
some help with getting her grasscut.
You know, could you cut hergrass?
It it could be so many differentthings.
So yeah, I would be happy to.
They can call me, email me.
Yeah, I can give you all thatinformation.

SPEAKER_07 (01:07:06):
And yeah, you don't have to give it out here live.
Yeah, no, I don't definitely beanswering phone calls all
Christmas break.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:14):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:07:14):
We'll make the connection.
You can reach out to us.
We'll have uh we'll put a linkon the podcast to the school
email.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:21):
Perfect, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:07:22):
So that way they can can reach out to you that way.
And then if more comes fromthat, that would be good.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:26):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:07:27):
All right.
Last question.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:28):
Last question.
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (01:07:29):
You made it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:30):
I've gone almost all the way through.
Woo!

SPEAKER_07 (01:07:33):
If you could sit on a park bench and have a
conversation with someone livingor deceased, who would it be and
why?

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:38):
Yeah.
So she's living.
It would be Brene Brown.
Are you guys familiar with herat all?
Okay.
Well, I love her.
She's amazing.
So she does a lot of things, butshe's a professor, she's an
author, she's an advocate, andshe's done and a researcher, and

(01:08:00):
she's done tons of researcharound courage, vulnerability,
empathy.
And I just think she is such arock star.
She is so um like fearless.
I think that's what I love abouther so much because she has the
courage that sometimes I wish Ihad.

(01:08:21):
You know what I mean?
Like she just, I don't know, Ican't even describe it, but I
would, I would just love to havelike 15 minutes with her and
just I don't know, talk aboutwhatever.
I just think it would be so fun.
And and actually, I really thinkthat you guys would would like

(01:08:41):
her content as well.
It's it's very real.
Um, but her famous motto isalways courage over comfort.
And I think it like it stickswith me because sometimes in
this work and in advocating forfamilies, you do have to have
courage, right?

(01:09:02):
Because people have strongopinions sometimes about the
families that we serve.
Um and sometimes going upagainst that can be challenging.
You have to have couragesometimes to help people
understand that you may thinkyou know what's happening with
these families, and you may youhave these ideas, right, about

(01:09:25):
what you think they should bedoing.
But I know the real storiesbehind it because I sit with
them and I listen to them and Iknow why they are where they
are.
And sometimes it takes courageto sit in a room when people
think a certain way about afamily, but you know the truth

(01:09:48):
and you try to get them to seethat.
And so I think I just she's justa role model for me because
she's always talking about well,and vulnerability, which is not
something I do well either.

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:01):
I don't think anybody does get vulnerability.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:03):
So, and she's always talking about how you need to be
more uh vulnerable.
And again, it it strikes mebecause it's something that I
ask of my clients, but I don'tdo very well myself, right?
Like, I mean, we ask them to bevulnerable, right?
We ask them like, tell meeverything, tell me what's going
on.
Um, so I just feel like I wouldlove to meet her.

(01:10:27):
I would love to just haveconversations with her, pick her
brain about so many things.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:34):
Courage over comfort.
I think that might describe you.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:37):
Uh I don't know.
Try.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:41):
You had the courage to leave your role where you
admittedly said you werecomfortable in your position.
Yeah.
Right?
I was not an easy position, butyou were comfortable to to step
into the unknown of this newposition at your old school.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:56):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:56):
Probably a little pressure there.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:58):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:58):
Into a role that really wasn't defined, you know.
No, not at the time.
To try to, I mean, I take somecourage.
Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:06):
Yeah, it takes some courage.
Thank you.
Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:09):
Well, you got to add anything?

SPEAKER_04 (01:11:11):
No, no, you're amazing.
I I think the thing that Dantalked about was he saw your
passion at the and every time wehave a conversation about any of
this, you can just see thepassion.
That's why you're so we'reblessed to have you in Preble
County.
We are for these families.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:26):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it it is, it's amazingbecause you know, I I know the
things that that I deal with ona daily basis in the business
world and with family and allthose things.
And then as you're talking lastweek, like then I sit back and I
think, really, Dan?
Like, you're letting whateverbother you.
And there's a kid sittingsomewhere in a classroom who

(01:11:48):
hasn't had his clothes wash inseven days because mom can't
afford it because she's got togo and put fuel in her car to
get to work or to go buy food,or in some cases, it can't even
buy food.
The only meal they get is atschool.
Boy, when you really startthinking about those needs, it
really makes what I think is abig deal or a burden to me.

(01:12:09):
Like, I feel like a turd.

SPEAKER_00 (01:12:14):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:12:14):
I I mean, and I I hope that something will come
from this, whether it's with thelaundry situation, if we can get
something worked out there withsome churches.
Maybe it's just getting a groupof community leaders together
that can come together andunderstand truly what's going on
and what the need is, and thenkind of put a plan of attack

(01:12:36):
together and say, okay, here'shere's our priority list.
Let's how can we go out?
Are there grants available to dothis?
Are there churches that want toget involved in this?
What does that look like?
You know, what are the costsassociated with that?
I think, you know, youmentioned, you know, I think
about, I know how much laundryis done at our home with seven
people there.
It's I don't think the laund thewasher and dryer ever shut off,

(01:12:58):
but you know, you think about Ican go put a load of laundry in
and I can go do something else.
Yeah.
But you got to go to thelaundromat, take, you know,
however many loads of laundrythat takes, you know, a couple
hours out of your day, and youreally can't leave it, right?
In most cases.

(01:13:18):
So you got to sit there.
So what are you doing?
You know, I it just takes time.
And and and anymore, time is avaluable commodity.
And if you're in a strugglingposition, I could see where that
would go to the wayside.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:32):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:13:33):
And it's sad because it's sad for those kids, it's
sad for the parents because theydon't want that.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:37):
They don't.
And that's the thing.
Um sometimes that's themisconception that we're up
against in our role.
Um, is you know, that parentsdon't.
And we work with with parents,with families, moms and dads,
grandparents who are raisingtheir grandkids, and they want

(01:14:00):
the moon and the stars for theirkids.
When you sit down with them, yousee the love there, you see, you
see so many things.
Um, but sometimes theirsituations just don't allow them
to be able to provide in the waythat they want to.
Um and just it's so it's justimportant to just to try to keep

(01:14:23):
reminding people of that.
You know, these parents, we dolike we do, our whole team, we
sit with them, we see they wantso much more for their kids and
they love them.
But sometimes their situationsare just really, really
difficult.
Yeah, they are.

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:42):
Is there a question I should have asked you that I
didn't?
Anything you want to share thatI should have brought up?

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:50):
You know, I just I always think that it's so
important to give credit wherecredit is due.
And I just feel like I'm able tobe in this role because a few
people in Preble County had thedream to bring it here.
Um he would they would neverwant me to probably say that,

(01:15:14):
but um, Jeff Ginter, who's apastor in New Paris, was a
pastor.
He's retired now, right?
I think so, yeah.
Um in Jeff Parker, who was asuperintendent at National
Trail.
Mr.
Parker tells a story all thetime where, you know, he's good
friends with Jeff Ginter, andMr.

(01:15:34):
Parker saw a pamphlet about theprogram that had been running in
Butler County and he was like,We have to have this, we have to
make this work.
We have to try to change cyclesfor these kids and help them in
the academic setting by helpingthe family as a whole, by
supporting the parent.

(01:15:55):
And it it's because you know,that dream that he that he had,
you know, and then talking withJeff Ginter, that's I mean, that
really is that's why we're heretoday.
And then, you know, because theyhad that dream, then we had
agencies and funders who came tothe table and they said, We'll

(01:16:16):
support you, we'll help you,make it happen.
And it's because of thosefunders and because the school
districts value us.
I mean, it's the whole reasonthat we're able to be here and
to do this work.
And so I think it's reallyimportant to thank those people
um because we wouldn't be heretoday without them.

SPEAKER_04 (01:16:41):
Think of how many lives they changed.

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:43):
I know.
Yeah.
And and you know, Mr.
Parker used to always talkabout, and Jeff Ginter did as
well, if we just change one,it's worth it.
And that that kind of like Ihear that in my head all the
time because when I'm on thehamster wheel, right?

(01:17:03):
Because I told you guys I run onit a lot.
Um, I hear them say that.
And I think they're right.
If you just help or change thetrajectory of one family, it's
worth it.
I mean, it is, it's worth it.
Um, and I know it's so manymore.
I mean, our team, you know, andthat's the other thing.

(01:17:25):
Like, I mean, I have to brag onour team because you know, I
know this interview is kind ofabout me and my journey, but I
work with some incredibleladies.
I mean, they they are they'rerock stars at what they do.
And I sometimes I get emotionalthinking about how proud I am of

(01:17:46):
them because it it takes specialpeople to to do that work every
day.
Um because it's challenging.
And they just they do an amazingjob.
And yeah, I just really wantedto publicly, I guess, say thank
you to all the people who havebeen on the journey and allowed

(01:18:07):
us to be here.
Um because we wouldn't be herewithout them.

SPEAKER_07 (01:18:12):
Well, I just want to say thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you for doing what you'redoing because um it's definitely
not an easy role, but it's onethat I think is perfect for you.

SPEAKER_02 (01:18:25):
Thank you for saying that.

SPEAKER_07 (01:18:26):
And um, you know, it's perfect for our community,
for the schools.
Um you know, I I hope that againthat that something is gonna
come from this that willcontinue to help the families
and the kids again to to breakthose cycles.
Uh, because you know, in mostcases, these kids are are gonna

(01:18:49):
stick around in our communities.
Yeah.
And so, you know, we want themto have a positive experience
where they can look back andsay, hey, Schaefer helped me.
You know, Mr.
Parker helped me, whoever it is.
So in return, I'm gonna helpsomebody else.
And I think that's that's thebeauty of um having some faith.

(01:19:14):
It's the beauty of beingvulnerable, it's the beauty of
just wanting to help and carefor others to uh to improve
where we live and what we do.
And so uh super grateful foryou.

SPEAKER_02 (01:19:27):
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, thanks for letting me comeon.
You're curious.

SPEAKER_04 (01:19:30):
Yeah, thanks for having the courage to come and
do it.
Courage over comfort.

SPEAKER_02 (01:19:35):
Last night I was like, well, maybe I could get
the flu.
Maybe I could bring you for theflu.

SPEAKER_07 (01:19:42):
I didn't text you intentionally because I was
like, I'm not gonna give her anyavenue to back out.

SPEAKER_01 (01:19:47):
I know, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:19:48):
No, this was powerful.
Allie, I appreciate that.
I again it opens my eyes.
I hope it opens whoever'slistening.
And uh, and something's gonnacome from this.
We're gonna get this laundrysituation figured out.
Yeah, we're gonna do something.

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:00):
So I believe we will.
You know, that's the wholereason.
It's kind of the same thing whenDane and I first, I mean, this
is way out of my comfort zonestill.
Well, we say communication majorfrom Dayton, a degree from
Dixie.

SPEAKER_00 (01:20:11):
Um greyhound.
Go grey hard.

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:16):
Yeah, listen.
But no, so we always say that.
And when we first decided to doit, you know, it was just one
person.
Like we can just help oneperson.
Yeah.
And uh now, you know, we're onPatreon and we have a community
of people that we believe orthink the same way, you know,
they support us.
And hopefully, you know, if noneof those people actually have
the capacity to fix thissituation, hopefully somebody,

(01:20:38):
well, you know what?
I bet so and so would have itand they could share it with
them.
And, you know, if the more weshare the story, the more we
have opportunity for solutions.

SPEAKER_02 (01:20:46):
So Or if they just take the time to pray for us in
our work.
Yeah, and if they don't pray,just to lift us in in their
thoughts, because yeah, prayingfor the families, praying,
praying for the people who dothis work.

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:59):
Yeah, and if you're the biggest thing, I think, is
to actually see the need.
So shoe for the shoe, like thosedates like we'll shared on our B
Taper page, but those are thedays that you come in there and
your world will be, I feel like,wrecked and your eyes will be
opened.
Because you'll see it's not, youknow, Allie's not talking about,
you know, in some other nationor you know, some other state.

SPEAKER_07 (01:21:21):
No, she's talking about in your backyard, these
are the needs of of thefamilies, the kids, and you see
it and well, and that's the mostpowerful thing with the shoes
for the shoeless thing is at theend, you know, after the kids
leave and they ask, you know,somebody get up and share
something.
And every time, man, you talkabout just heart-wrenching
stories that you just I don'tknow.

(01:21:43):
I think when you're in it andyou actually see the need um and
you feel the need, then it makesyou want to do more, or at least
does for me.
I know.
Yeah.
So amazing.
Thank you again, Allie.

SPEAKER_02 (01:21:55):
Thank you guys.
Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_07 (01:21:57):
Everybody, please like and share and do all those
things that we need you to do sothat we can help Allie and uh
the success liaison team and allthe county schools in Preble
County and down in ButlerCounty, and uh go out and be
tempered.

SPEAKER_03 (01:22:10):
Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt.
This is my goddamn hand Catrin'sglass.

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years.

SPEAKER_03 (01:22:37):
Patrons, a clear choice.

SPEAKER_05 (01:22:40):
I want to share something that's become a big

part of the Beatempered mission: Patreon. (01:22:42):
undefined
Now, if you've never used itbefore, Patreon is a platform
where we can build communitytogether.
It's not just about supportingthe podcast, it's about having a
space where we can connect on adeeper level, encourage one
another, and walk this journeyof faith, resilience, and
perseverance side by side.

(01:23:03):
Here's how it works.
You can join as a free memberand get access to daily posts,
behind-the-scenes updates,encouragement, and some things I
don't always put out on otherplatforms.
And if you feel called tosupport the mission financially,
there are different levels whereyou can do that too.
That support helps us keepproducing the podcast, creating
gear, hosting events, andsharing stories that we believe

(01:23:26):
can truly impact lives.
And here's the cool part.
Patreon has a free app you candownload right on your phone.
It works just like Facebook orInstagram, but it's built
specifically for our community.
You'll be able to scroll throughposts, watch videos, listen to
content, and interact withothers who are on the same
journey.
At the end of the day, thisisn't just about content, it's

(01:23:47):
about connection.
It's about building somethingtogether.
Not just me and them putting outepisodes, but a family of people
committed to growing strongerthrough real stories and real
faith.
So whether you just want to hopon as a free member or you feel
called to support in a biggerway, Patreon is the door into
that community.
Because at the heart of BeTempered has always been simple

(01:24:09):
real stories, raw truth,resilient faith, so that even
one person out there that hearswhat they need to hear, and
Patreon helps make thatpossible.