April 16, 2025 • 24 mins
Christian Ray Flores, CEO of Xponential Life, explores the journey to holistic success across seven key dimensions of life. Stress often holds us back from experiencing joy and creativity. Christian shares transformative insights on how to turn daily pressures into opportunities for growth, leading to a fulfilling life.
Listen on Podbean:
https://brainworkframework.podbean.com/
Connect with Christian Ray Flores:
Company Website: https://www.xponential.life/
Company Website: https://www.christianrayflores.com/
Connect with Chris Troka:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christopher-troka-3a093058/
Website: https://focused-biz.com/
Website: https://christroka.com/ #brainwork #framework #business #holistic # #keydimension #growth
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So my last words of advice to you,if you're listening, is aim higher.
(00:04):
And the reason you aim higher, eventhough it's a little bit more scary,
is because most people don't aimhigher and the middle is crowded.
You're listening to Brainwork Framework,a business and marketing podcast
brought to you by focused- biz.
com.
Welcome back to another episode.
With us today is the CEO ofExponential Christian Ray Flores.
He helps clients make four key shifts,fuel, speed, resistance, radar.
(00:28):
We'll be talking more about buildingholistic success in seven key dimensions.
Christian, so excited to have you on.
Thanks for joining us today.
How are you?
I am very well, Chris, veryexcited to be speaking to you.
Thank you so much.
We always like to ask our guests, tellus about your entrepreneurial journey.
What were you doing before andhow did that kind of lead you
into what you're doing today?
Okay, so my answer might be alittle confusing but maybe I'll
(00:51):
start with what I do today.
Sort of the main two things is wedo essentially brand development,
brand strategy and media.
On one end it's called Third Drive Media.
And then on the other end Ido high performance coaching.
My very first professionalsuccess was in music.
I've changed five different adjacentbut not the same professions, careers
(01:13):
and I was in music, I was in EasternEurope, I was a very popular artist,
pop artist there and that is amassive jumpstart on quality on media.
You'll learn personal brand, you'lllearn video, you'll learn all kinds
of things, distribution, sales,negotiations, things like that.
So this was a long time ago and thatbasically evolved eventually I did
(01:36):
production company in L. A. We did musicvideos and music development for artists.
And that was a lot of fun.
That was sort of a natural outgrowthof the music career, right?
We sort of evolved into supportingbusinesses and Basically brand
development, brand strategy,startups, tech startups,
influencers, people like that.
(01:57):
So that's that track.
Does that make sense so far, Chris?
Absolutely.
That is a really cool history about themusic because kind of similar for me.
That's how that experience came to beand launched into something different.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, so it evolves, right?
Yes, absolutely.
The coaching part was interesting becauseI was playing sports arenas, right?
I was a big artist and I realizedthat just being maybe in the 0.
(02:22):
5 percent musically isnot enough actually.
Either to make you happy oractually sustain success.
So there's all kind of character issues,emotional self regulation, relational
skills that I just lacked and as a highachiever, I was at the very peak of
my career, like clinically depressedand that's when I met my first coach.
(02:44):
He was this Canadian missionaryand I was sort of introduced to him
through like a mutual acquaintanceand ended up going out for pizza.
I was having dinner with him andhis family and I just looked at him
and I'm like, you have somethingI don't have, how do I get it?
And he took me under his wingand I luckily listened to
(03:05):
him and it changed my life.
And I was like 26 years old.
Most high achievers, most people thathave this drive to get something done,
to build something, to go somewhere,to write, to produce, to build
companies, businesses, et cetera.
That drive almost always comes with aflat side that is significant and if they
(03:27):
don't fix that flat side, you usuallyburn out, you hit a wall and sometimes
you recuperate, sometimes you don't.
But at the very least, you arelimited in How high you can
fly and how long you can do it.
So I feel I was like, just becauseI found somebody who can compliment,
who has the strengths that I don'thave and that person can coach me.
(03:49):
I can go higher and further.
Yes, thank you very much.
And I sort of dug into all of that wholetopic and learned how to do that and
started coaching people and It's a passionof mine because I just love people.
I love people that are up to stuffand I want them to do well and I
know how to help them really well.
(04:09):
It's a gift plus a developed skill.
Let's put it that way.
It is a gift in the sense that you havea passion for something you don't know
where it came from but you have it.
It's sort of like that with me.
Yes, and sometimes thoseopportunities are presented to us.
We don't know how the universe putus in that position but I too myself
had a mentor that did bigger thingsand I wanted that similar lifestyle
(04:29):
and they taught me about those thingsand that inspired me to do even more.
So it's really cool to hear verysimilar instances with that.
That is so incredible.
Yeah, it's very cool.
I really enjoy doing that.
That is excellent.
Now tell us more about theframework because you're
helping people through coaching.
Who is this for?
Do you work with acertain type of audience?
And then how are you helping them through?
(04:50):
I work with professionals that are upto stuff and it could be my clientele
ranges between a young executive ina finance firm or real estate, to a
pastor, to an artist, to an athlete andall the way up, let's say, to people who
are managing a lot of money for otherpeople, people who are doing big business.
(05:11):
So there's a range of people but Ithink the common thread is that
these are highly ambitious people.
And they tend to have a certain set ofstrengths and a certain set of weaknesses
and I know what those things are.
I know how to bring the best out ofthem so they can actually achieve more
than they think they can and I knowhow to help them calibrate and develop
(05:31):
these habits and lifestyle changesthat will sustain success for a long
time and actually maximize success.
So that's about the audience and thepeople that I work with when it comes
to the framework the long term frameworkis just, if you're in an inner circle
capacity with me, it's just having myattention and doing life with me and
I will know everything about you andbecome essentially your counselor,
(05:54):
your advisor basically in life.
But I think the entry point is usuallythrough establishing certain pillar.
Habits and pillar skills which basicallyqualifies you to even work with me
long term and the four things that Italk about is what you're alluding
to is the first one called fuel.
And basically this idea is, what isit that motivates you specifically?
(06:16):
Not just in broad strokes,are you aspirational?
Are you this?
Are you that?
No, it's very concrete.
When you get up in the morning, are youfueled by creativity or anxiety or fear?
All of the above and usually it'sa mix but if you want to be a
high performer, you need to run onhigh level fuels basically, right?
The second is sort of the speed youmove in and the direction you move in.
(06:38):
Momentum is a really important piece.
Momentum is what gives you confidence.
It's what gives you an emotionalsort of state of we're going
somewhere and I find that the peoplethat I work with, they usually do
really well for a period of time.
And then something happens and it usuallyhas to do with an increased complexity
(07:00):
with goals that change, what they change,the world changes, complexity changes,
there's much more pressure, what usedto be fun is not fun anymore, or their
preferences or values have changed.
And you hit this plateauand you just stop moving.
You either move very slowly or yougo in circles or you just stop.
And the second pillar is, Ineed you moving and I need you
(07:23):
to build momentum, some speed.
Speed matters and direction matters.
That's the second thing.
The third one is called resistance,and it's basically any time you
want to move somewhere, You wantto go higher in anything, finance,
skill, mastery, scale, whatever.
Any time you gain momentum, you gainspeed, you're going to have things attack
(07:45):
you from the inside and from the outside.
I call that resistance.
I think that comes from StevenPressfield, if I'm not mistaken.
The War of Art.
It's one of my favorite books.
I don't know if he borrowed thatterm or he came up with it but that's
where I learned it, resistance.
And resistance does not discriminate, youcan be the most accomplished person on the
(08:06):
planet and you will have self sabotage,you'll have self doubt, you'll have days
that are just It's just rough and youdon't know how to navigate those things.
And basically my goal is toteach you how to not eliminate
it because you won't be able to.
Everybody deals with it.
It's a very primal thing but to bevictorious over it consistently, reliably.
(08:28):
The fourth pillar is essentiallythe long term strategy.
And the idea there is sort of these sevendimensions of life that are all research
shows and also personal experienceand life experience shows that these
are the things that you have to figureout one way or another hook or crook.
You need to score high along sevendimensions and you'll do really well
(08:50):
long term and it's fascinating howsomebody can be really doing well
on paper but if I ask them to scorethemselves along those seven dimensions
and I can tell them how vulnerable theyare, how much risk they have and are
they going to do well long term or not?
It's pretty cool.
I absolutely love that framework becauseit really covers everything that speaks to
(09:14):
this audience, the things that they dealwith the lack of clarity, the anxiety.
We need that direction.
The momentum helps the action, createsmore confidence and all these things help.
You're like, Oh, wow.
Is that what it took to finally feelbetter and get my head in the right space
but that is exactly how you help people.
Yeah, exactly.
That's it.
So that's why there's these core pillarslike you have to figure these four
(09:37):
things out and then we work long termto just get those things at a higher
level master those things, right?
But those are essential is becausewithout those things, you're probably
not going to do well, basically.
Absolutely.
I'm feeling better already and I haven'teven actually gone into analyzing that
just knowing that there's something thereprovides a lot of clarity and direction.
(09:58):
Yeah, absolutely.
Do you mind going more intothe the seven key dimensions?
Did you go into that already yet?
No I haven't actually,I just mentioned it.
As I said, I call that exponential radar.
You know the story about the Titanic?
It's like the unsinkable ship.
I love that because the analogy isvery similar to like a high achiever.
You might be like flying high, you'rean executive or something, you're
(10:21):
earning six figures and you're justcrashing it and they were very self
confident and the sea was smooth and itwas just no wind, no storm, nothing.
But what they didn't know is that they'regoing towards an iceberg and what they
didn't have is a radar, as a matter offact, they're so confident that the guy
(10:42):
who would like sits on the tower, hewasn't even using binoculars and I find
that to be a great analogy to People whoare just very professionally successful.
You have no idea what's coming acrossbeyond the horizon and you can be so
self confident and then when that thinghits you and sinks you, you're surprised.
But if you think about it, what ifthey had a radar technology back then?
(11:03):
There wouldn't be an accident, period.
That just wouldn't happen.
So that's basically the functionof this particular thing.
That's why I call it a radar.
It's a long winded way to say it and it'sbasically seven dimensions and we score
ourselves and we do it over and over againduring our conversations and it's all
Fs, so that you can remember it quickly.
Okay, you know what we'll do chris?
(11:23):
Are you confident, comfortable enoughto just self assess on the spot, live?
I think we could.
You sure?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Sounds like you're going to put mein a very uncomfortable position but
that's what post editing is for right?
Yeah, post productionis a beautiful thing.
Okay, so I want to pull somethingout real quick so that I can have a
cheat sheet of my own because I havea bunch of scores here in front of me.
(11:45):
We have this assessment online.
Nice.
That's super cool.
Yeah and it's amazing because it's free.
We use it with our clientsbut I provide it for free
A lot of the times with like thoseself assessments people tend to
be a bit more vulnerable, like ifthey're trying to speak truthfully.
Yeah.
The thing is when people come for astrategy call, I have to ask them all
(12:05):
those questions and it takes a long timebut if they do the assessment ahead of
time I have the picture right in frontof me of their lives, like right there.
I don't have to ask any of those questionsand it's a really cool tool and I can't
find the thing that I was going tofind but I'll give it one more attempt
no worries take your time.
That's why I block off the full hour.
(12:25):
I record 15 to 30 but leave some muggleroom, whether that's chatting for a
half hour before or after or we want totake things off the record for a moment.
That's cool too.
Yeah, I couldn't find it.
Okay, we'll just wing it.
So, I'm gonna ask you a series ofquestions and basically all I want you to
do is to answer first thing that comes tomind and rate yourself between a 1 and 10.
(12:46):
Easy enough, right?
You ready?
I think so, yeah.
Okay.
How would you rate yourself 1 to10 on faith, spiritual practices,
whatever it means to you?
1 to 0.
Okay, so low.
Family.
Nuclear family.
Mom and dad, siblings, wife, girlfriend.
7.
Friendships.
7 or 8.
Force which is your meaningful work.
(13:09):
That's what it means.
Out of five or six.
Okay.
How about fun?
Seven and a half.
How about finances?
Feeling good.
About an eight.
How about health, fitness,nutrition, things like that?
Seven.
Good.
So basically that's it.
It's very simple and obviously you cango into depth but the first reaction,
Hey, this is how I feel about myself andon the surface, it's super simplistic
(13:33):
but it's profoundly significant whenit comes to your trajectory in life.
So with you, the only low score andmaybe that's because you either are
culturally not in that space or whatever.
The only low score is faith.
The reason why faith is important andthis is by the way, Harvard research,
(13:53):
it's not really religious studies butit's what people find, is that if you
have a transcendent practice, it can bea contemplative practice that increases
your level of accomplishment, joy,you're healthier, wealthier, all of that.
So that's the only low thing.
Everything else is above five, most ofit and I think that gives you a very
(14:14):
stable situation so you're doing well,you're probably going to do better and
better and you're not very vulnerable.
Nothing catastrophic will happen to you.
When obviously something canhappen, you can be hit by a car but
you know what I'm saying, right?
Self inflicted.
So if somebody has one under five, that'snot a big deal because everything else
(14:37):
is high and I would advise you look intoa contemplative practices that you can
practice because it will help you elevateyour overall score and the dimensionality
of your success, of your health.
If somebody has two or three lows thatare Under five, let's say family, friends
and force, you are in a bad shape.
You're in very bad shape.
It's a crisis.
(14:58):
You need to do somethingabout it immediately.
If you have one or two, you're okay.
If you have three that are lowyou should hear the alarm bells.
If you're between a seven and aneight across the board, you can do
really well and it doesn't matterif you're going to have obstacles,
you're not going to have problems.
You're going to do really well long term.
Does that make sense?
What do you think?
That is really cool.
I love that assessment and it wasquick and painless and compared
(15:21):
to what I thought it could belike, oh no, you unzipped me but
it was great self assessment.
It kind of outlined what you shouldlook for and these are the red
flags you really need to watch outfor if it gets below this point.
Yeah and because it's easy toremember it's just seven F's fam.
Faith, family, friends, force,fun, finances and fitness.
You can sort of hardwiredit into your brain.
(15:42):
We usually just fill out paper untilit gets looks it becomes second nature
and you discuss it in coaching andstuff like that and it's incredible.
It really is incredible on the surface.
It goes, wow, that's pretty basic.
It's not basic.
It's actually magical becauseyou know what you need to work
on and you start improving that.
And you can see almost like a chainreaction, a domino effect affecting
(16:04):
all the areas of life because you are amultidimensional being, high achievers.
Emphasize one area over another andusually it's work over relationships,
so usually faith, family,friends is middle to low and then
fitness, finances, force is high.
Sometimes fun as well, like dependingon if you're a party person or
not but that's basically thelopsided side of high achievers.
(16:28):
And what happens is you can endup making a billion dollars and be
divorced twice by the time you do that.
Your kids grow up, they resent youand you find yourself very wealthy and
extremely miserable and unfulfilled.
That's what happens.
Absolutely.
Now, do any of the F's carry more weightor importance than the other ones?
(16:49):
Yes.
The first four.
Faith, family, friends and force.
These are studies that showtranscendent experience and the
reason for the transcendent experiencebecause why is that important?
Why is that even in the top four?
It's because if you are thecenter of your universe.
You are very limited by definition.
If you start living for something greaterthan yourself and you start contemplating
(17:11):
life as not being this about you?
But what is the meaning of all of this?
How do I fit in?
What is my moral role?
What is my legacy?
You start elevating thefrequency of your thinking.
So that's sort of the faith piece.
Family, it's because it is the only thingthat actually matters in the long run.
(17:31):
Like, on your deathbed, youwill never regret not spending
more time with your family.
And there's actually statisticsabout that too, right?
People regret not spending enough timewith the family and working too much.
That's what they regret on their deathbed.
On tactically short term, the family isthe ultimate de stressor but guess what?
You need to get the skills tobuild a good and healthy family,
(17:54):
especially a good marriage.
Who you marry.
It's literally the number onething that determines your
happiness, wealth and health.
Do you have the skills tomarry the right person?
Do you have the skills to nurturethat develop that marriage
into a long term success?
If you do that well, that elevates allother areas of your life, including
your professional capabilities
(18:15):
because if you are daring great things,building big things, you need somebody
at home who loves you unconditionally,will talk you off the ledge, will tell
you that you're loved regardless, willbe there for you regardless of your
performance because most high achievers,they have big failures as well on the way.
(18:38):
And it's sort of the same thing,slightly more it's more adjacent
but friendships are the same thing.
People are very lonely and the qualityof your friends actually determines
the quality of your thinking.
So, nurturing a long term relationshipwith the right people that are
high quality people, massive.
And then lastly, the fourthpart which is meaningful work.
If you do meaningless work, you'renot going to be motivated to excel,
(19:01):
to grow, to do hard things, toget to higher planes, etc. So, if
your work is meaningful, there'smore to it than just the paycheck.
It just enhances everything.
So, those are the most important ones.
I absolutely love that.
So with you being in business andthese connections to start that
kind of launched you into whereyou are today, what's been the most
(19:22):
effective marketing strategy for you?
Are you just building relationships,running some ads, doing content,
a little bit of everything?
Or is there an outlier?
I mean, it really depends on who you are.
I think for me, it's relationshipsand content because first of
all, I love creative content.
I'm pretty good at it and I've beenin front of the camera for most of my
life essentially since I was like 25.
(19:43):
So with a bunch of subscribers.
Social?
I don't really work on social.
I have an assistant who just chopsdown my bigger content into smaller
content but I think X is my favorite onebecause it's just mostly words and it
forces you to be brief in your insights.
So content is my preferred way to market.
(20:04):
Also, it's the least salesy one, right?
Because all you're doing isadding value to people's lives.
Absolutely.
Definitely agree with the ideaof providing value and building
relationships, nurturing them throughvalue instead of being spammy and salesy.
That's not fun for anybody.
No it's more inspiring, I think.
What we're doing now is marketing andthe cool thing is that all I do, all I'm
doing is sharing the best things I knowthat can help somebody and resonates
(20:28):
and they go, man, this guy's good.
Maybe I should give him a call.
Yes.
Well, at the very least I cantake notes and implement it.
Absolutely.
So it's just starting now to be 2025.
What are you looking forward to?
Do you have any bigger goalsthat you're working on anything
new and exciting coming out?
Or are you just doing more of the sameamazing stuff you're currently doing?
I am.
(20:48):
I just released a book.
This is actually my first bookand I've written Two more and
I've shelved both of them But theywere more like creative exercises.
So this one's called a little book ofbig reasons to love America And it's
sort of a passion project because it'snot directly related to my business
at all but it's sort of my contributionto the national conversation and it
(21:09):
was born out of my excitement aboutthe United States as an immigrant.
So I married an American.
I grew up in sixcountries, four continents.
This is my sixth country, literally.
So I've had insane stories andexperiences throughout my life.
Some of them pretty dramatic and bad andI married an American and lived in Europe
(21:30):
for a long time and then we moved here
with my three children and being animmigrant gives me this fresh perspective
on, I'm objective more than you are rightif you're an American because I come from
the outside and I studied economics.
I have all these other layers Thatalmost like these lenses that I wear.
So I would tell my wife how amazingthis country is from all these angles.
(21:54):
And she kept saying, youhave to write this down.
These are really good insights.
So eventually I caved, I hesitated fora while because I knew it's immediately
perceived as political but it's notpolitical actually and thought there's
so much negativity about this country.
And it's an amazing country.
And if I can just add a little splashof positivity that wouldn't hurt.
(22:18):
So that's why I wrote the book.
So it's like the most exciting thingfor me this year because it's new and
I'm doing a lot of guest podcastingand every time I go on, I usually
say, Hey, check it out on Amazon
because it's actually really good.
I'm really proud of it.
That was very cool, both one forthe passion project that it kind
of brought you this excitement butalso I think a book like that would
be well received by many people.
(22:39):
We have too much division right nowthe propaganda kind of separates us.
So to get that through a differentlens, a more objective viewpoint
is very welcome in this country.
We need more of it.
I think communication can help improvea lot of the situations that we're in.
So very excited to check that out.
You'll have to send me a link for that andwe'll put that in the show notes as well.
Where else can people find out moreabout you and connect with you online?
(23:02):
They can come or you cancome, I'm talking to the
audience to ChristianRayFlores.
com It's my newsletter.
I highly recommend it.
I put a lot of work into it.
It's basically weekly posts on successand significance and how they interplay
with each other because I believe peoplego, well, it's success and significance.
(23:23):
I would say no.
Real success only comes from significance.
So how do you develop bothand how do you marry both?
And that's basically my passion.
So it drops every Sunday, every Wednesday,there's a free version, there's a
paid version but it's really cool.
There's all kinds of sort of benefitsand things like that I tried to shower
my subscribers with love and gratitude.
(23:44):
That's fantastic.
And we'll have those links availabledown in the description and show notes
so everyone can get connected here.
Christian wanted to open the floorto any imparting wisdom you want
to share with our audience here.
We appreciate you coming on.
Any last words of advice?
That's a good question.
Okay, so my last words of adviceto you, if you're listening is Aim
higher and the reason you aim higher,even though it's a little bit more
(24:06):
scary is because most people don'taim higher and the middle is crowded.
Very well said, Christian.
We appreciate all of your tips and tricksand sharing your wisdom with us today.
We'll have to have you on for a parttwo sometime in the future to let
us know how everything is going.
Thank you so much and congratulations.
Chris, thank you.
So my last words of advice to you,if you're listening, is aim higher.
(00:04):
And the reason you aim higher, eventhough it's a little bit more scary,
is because most people don't aimhigher and the middle is crowded.
You're listening to Brainwork Framework,a business and marketing podcast
brought to you by focused- biz.
com.
Welcome back to another episode.
With us today is the CEO ofExponential Christian Ray Flores.
He helps clients make four key shifts,fuel, speed, resistance, radar.
(00:28):
We'll be talking more about buildingholistic success in seven key dimensions.
Christian, so excited to have you on.
Thanks for joining us today.
How are you?
I am very well, Chris, veryexcited to be speaking to you.
Thank you so much.
We always like to ask our guests, tellus about your entrepreneurial journey.
What were you doing before andhow did that kind of lead you
into what you're doing today?
Okay, so my answer might be alittle confusing but maybe I'll
(00:51):
start with what I do today.
Sort of the main two things is wedo essentially brand development,
brand strategy and media.
On one end it's called Third Drive Media.
And then on the other end Ido high performance coaching.
My very first professionalsuccess was in music.
I've changed five different adjacentbut not the same professions, careers
(01:13):
and I was in music, I was in EasternEurope, I was a very popular artist,
pop artist there and that is amassive jumpstart on quality on media.
You'll learn personal brand, you'lllearn video, you'll learn all kinds
of things, distribution, sales,negotiations, things like that.
So this was a long time ago and thatbasically evolved eventually I did
(01:36):
production company in L. A. We did musicvideos and music development for artists.
And that was a lot of fun.
That was sort of a natural outgrowthof the music career, right?
We sort of evolved into supportingbusinesses and Basically brand
development, brand strategy,startups, tech startups,
influencers, people like that.
(01:57):
So that's that track.
Does that make sense so far, Chris?
Absolutely.
That is a really cool history about themusic because kind of similar for me.
That's how that experience came to beand launched into something different.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, so it evolves, right?
Yes, absolutely.
The coaching part was interesting becauseI was playing sports arenas, right?
I was a big artist and I realizedthat just being maybe in the 0.
(02:22):
5 percent musically isnot enough actually.
Either to make you happy oractually sustain success.
So there's all kind of character issues,emotional self regulation, relational
skills that I just lacked and as a highachiever, I was at the very peak of
my career, like clinically depressedand that's when I met my first coach.
(02:44):
He was this Canadian missionaryand I was sort of introduced to him
through like a mutual acquaintanceand ended up going out for pizza.
I was having dinner with him andhis family and I just looked at him
and I'm like, you have somethingI don't have, how do I get it?
And he took me under his wingand I luckily listened to
(03:05):
him and it changed my life.
And I was like 26 years old.
Most high achievers, most people thathave this drive to get something done,
to build something, to go somewhere,to write, to produce, to build
companies, businesses, et cetera.
That drive almost always comes with aflat side that is significant and if they
(03:27):
don't fix that flat side, you usuallyburn out, you hit a wall and sometimes
you recuperate, sometimes you don't.
But at the very least, you arelimited in How high you can
fly and how long you can do it.
So I feel I was like, just becauseI found somebody who can compliment,
who has the strengths that I don'thave and that person can coach me.
(03:49):
I can go higher and further.
Yes, thank you very much.
And I sort of dug into all of that wholetopic and learned how to do that and
started coaching people and It's a passionof mine because I just love people.
I love people that are up to stuffand I want them to do well and I
know how to help them really well.
(04:09):
It's a gift plus a developed skill.
Let's put it that way.
It is a gift in the sense that you havea passion for something you don't know
where it came from but you have it.
It's sort of like that with me.
Yes, and sometimes thoseopportunities are presented to us.
We don't know how the universe putus in that position but I too myself
had a mentor that did bigger thingsand I wanted that similar lifestyle
(04:29):
and they taught me about those thingsand that inspired me to do even more.
So it's really cool to hear verysimilar instances with that.
That is so incredible.
Yeah, it's very cool.
I really enjoy doing that.
That is excellent.
Now tell us more about theframework because you're
helping people through coaching.
Who is this for?
Do you work with acertain type of audience?
And then how are you helping them through?
(04:50):
I work with professionals that are upto stuff and it could be my clientele
ranges between a young executive ina finance firm or real estate, to a
pastor, to an artist, to an athlete andall the way up, let's say, to people who
are managing a lot of money for otherpeople, people who are doing big business.
(05:11):
So there's a range of people but Ithink the common thread is that
these are highly ambitious people.
And they tend to have a certain set ofstrengths and a certain set of weaknesses
and I know what those things are.
I know how to bring the best out ofthem so they can actually achieve more
than they think they can and I knowhow to help them calibrate and develop
(05:31):
these habits and lifestyle changesthat will sustain success for a long
time and actually maximize success.
So that's about the audience and thepeople that I work with when it comes
to the framework the long term frameworkis just, if you're in an inner circle
capacity with me, it's just having myattention and doing life with me and
I will know everything about you andbecome essentially your counselor,
(05:54):
your advisor basically in life.
But I think the entry point is usuallythrough establishing certain pillar.
Habits and pillar skills which basicallyqualifies you to even work with me
long term and the four things that Italk about is what you're alluding
to is the first one called fuel.
And basically this idea is, what isit that motivates you specifically?
(06:16):
Not just in broad strokes,are you aspirational?
Are you this?
Are you that?
No, it's very concrete.
When you get up in the morning, are youfueled by creativity or anxiety or fear?
All of the above and usually it'sa mix but if you want to be a
high performer, you need to run onhigh level fuels basically, right?
The second is sort of the speed youmove in and the direction you move in.
(06:38):
Momentum is a really important piece.
Momentum is what gives you confidence.
It's what gives you an emotionalsort of state of we're going
somewhere and I find that the peoplethat I work with, they usually do
really well for a period of time.
And then something happens and it usuallyhas to do with an increased complexity
(07:00):
with goals that change, what they change,the world changes, complexity changes,
there's much more pressure, what usedto be fun is not fun anymore, or their
preferences or values have changed.
And you hit this plateauand you just stop moving.
You either move very slowly or yougo in circles or you just stop.
And the second pillar is, Ineed you moving and I need you
(07:23):
to build momentum, some speed.
Speed matters and direction matters.
That's the second thing.
The third one is called resistance,and it's basically any time you
want to move somewhere, You wantto go higher in anything, finance,
skill, mastery, scale, whatever.
Any time you gain momentum, you gainspeed, you're going to have things attack
(07:45):
you from the inside and from the outside.
I call that resistance.
I think that comes from StevenPressfield, if I'm not mistaken.
The War of Art.
It's one of my favorite books.
I don't know if he borrowed thatterm or he came up with it but that's
where I learned it, resistance.
And resistance does not discriminate, youcan be the most accomplished person on the
(08:06):
planet and you will have self sabotage,you'll have self doubt, you'll have days
that are just It's just rough and youdon't know how to navigate those things.
And basically my goal is toteach you how to not eliminate
it because you won't be able to.
Everybody deals with it.
It's a very primal thing but to bevictorious over it consistently, reliably.
(08:28):
The fourth pillar is essentiallythe long term strategy.
And the idea there is sort of these sevendimensions of life that are all research
shows and also personal experienceand life experience shows that these
are the things that you have to figureout one way or another hook or crook.
You need to score high along sevendimensions and you'll do really well
(08:50):
long term and it's fascinating howsomebody can be really doing well
on paper but if I ask them to scorethemselves along those seven dimensions
and I can tell them how vulnerable theyare, how much risk they have and are
they going to do well long term or not?
It's pretty cool.
I absolutely love that framework becauseit really covers everything that speaks to
(09:14):
this audience, the things that they dealwith the lack of clarity, the anxiety.
We need that direction.
The momentum helps the action, createsmore confidence and all these things help.
You're like, Oh, wow.
Is that what it took to finally feelbetter and get my head in the right space
but that is exactly how you help people.
Yeah, exactly.
That's it.
So that's why there's these core pillarslike you have to figure these four
(09:37):
things out and then we work long termto just get those things at a higher
level master those things, right?
But those are essential is becausewithout those things, you're probably
not going to do well, basically.
Absolutely.
I'm feeling better already and I haven'teven actually gone into analyzing that
just knowing that there's something thereprovides a lot of clarity and direction.
(09:58):
Yeah, absolutely.
Do you mind going more intothe the seven key dimensions?
Did you go into that already yet?
No I haven't actually,I just mentioned it.
As I said, I call that exponential radar.
You know the story about the Titanic?
It's like the unsinkable ship.
I love that because the analogy isvery similar to like a high achiever.
You might be like flying high, you'rean executive or something, you're
(10:21):
earning six figures and you're justcrashing it and they were very self
confident and the sea was smooth and itwas just no wind, no storm, nothing.
But what they didn't know is that they'regoing towards an iceberg and what they
didn't have is a radar, as a matter offact, they're so confident that the guy
(10:42):
who would like sits on the tower, hewasn't even using binoculars and I find
that to be a great analogy to People whoare just very professionally successful.
You have no idea what's coming acrossbeyond the horizon and you can be so
self confident and then when that thinghits you and sinks you, you're surprised.
But if you think about it, what ifthey had a radar technology back then?
(11:03):
There wouldn't be an accident, period.
That just wouldn't happen.
So that's basically the functionof this particular thing.
That's why I call it a radar.
It's a long winded way to say it and it'sbasically seven dimensions and we score
ourselves and we do it over and over againduring our conversations and it's all
Fs, so that you can remember it quickly.
Okay, you know what we'll do chris?
(11:23):
Are you confident, comfortable enoughto just self assess on the spot, live?
I think we could.
You sure?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Sounds like you're going to put mein a very uncomfortable position but
that's what post editing is for right?
Yeah, post productionis a beautiful thing.
Okay, so I want to pull somethingout real quick so that I can have a
cheat sheet of my own because I havea bunch of scores here in front of me.
(11:45):
We have this assessment online.
Nice.
That's super cool.
Yeah and it's amazing because it's free.
We use it with our clientsbut I provide it for free
A lot of the times with like thoseself assessments people tend to
be a bit more vulnerable, like ifthey're trying to speak truthfully.
Yeah.
The thing is when people come for astrategy call, I have to ask them all
(12:05):
those questions and it takes a long timebut if they do the assessment ahead of
time I have the picture right in frontof me of their lives, like right there.
I don't have to ask any of those questionsand it's a really cool tool and I can't
find the thing that I was going tofind but I'll give it one more attempt
no worries take your time.
That's why I block off the full hour.
(12:25):
I record 15 to 30 but leave some muggleroom, whether that's chatting for a
half hour before or after or we want totake things off the record for a moment.
That's cool too.
Yeah, I couldn't find it.
Okay, we'll just wing it.
So, I'm gonna ask you a series ofquestions and basically all I want you to
do is to answer first thing that comes tomind and rate yourself between a 1 and 10.
(12:46):
Easy enough, right?
You ready?
I think so, yeah.
Okay.
How would you rate yourself 1 to10 on faith, spiritual practices,
whatever it means to you?
1 to 0.
Okay, so low.
Family.
Nuclear family.
Mom and dad, siblings, wife, girlfriend.
7.
Friendships.
7 or 8.
Force which is your meaningful work.
(13:09):
That's what it means.
Out of five or six.
Okay.
How about fun?
Seven and a half.
How about finances?
Feeling good.
About an eight.
How about health, fitness,nutrition, things like that?
Seven.
Good.
So basically that's it.
It's very simple and obviously you cango into depth but the first reaction,
Hey, this is how I feel about myself andon the surface, it's super simplistic
(13:33):
but it's profoundly significant whenit comes to your trajectory in life.
So with you, the only low score andmaybe that's because you either are
culturally not in that space or whatever.
The only low score is faith.
The reason why faith is important andthis is by the way, Harvard research,
(13:53):
it's not really religious studies butit's what people find, is that if you
have a transcendent practice, it can bea contemplative practice that increases
your level of accomplishment, joy,you're healthier, wealthier, all of that.
So that's the only low thing.
Everything else is above five, most ofit and I think that gives you a very
(14:14):
stable situation so you're doing well,you're probably going to do better and
better and you're not very vulnerable.
Nothing catastrophic will happen to you.
When obviously something canhappen, you can be hit by a car but
you know what I'm saying, right?
Self inflicted.
So if somebody has one under five, that'snot a big deal because everything else
(14:37):
is high and I would advise you look intoa contemplative practices that you can
practice because it will help you elevateyour overall score and the dimensionality
of your success, of your health.
If somebody has two or three lows thatare Under five, let's say family, friends
and force, you are in a bad shape.
You're in very bad shape.
It's a crisis.
(14:58):
You need to do somethingabout it immediately.
If you have one or two, you're okay.
If you have three that are lowyou should hear the alarm bells.
If you're between a seven and aneight across the board, you can do
really well and it doesn't matterif you're going to have obstacles,
you're not going to have problems.
You're going to do really well long term.
Does that make sense?
What do you think?
That is really cool.
I love that assessment and it wasquick and painless and compared
(15:21):
to what I thought it could belike, oh no, you unzipped me but
it was great self assessment.
It kind of outlined what you shouldlook for and these are the red
flags you really need to watch outfor if it gets below this point.
Yeah and because it's easy toremember it's just seven F's fam.
Faith, family, friends, force,fun, finances and fitness.
You can sort of hardwiredit into your brain.
(15:42):
We usually just fill out paper untilit gets looks it becomes second nature
and you discuss it in coaching andstuff like that and it's incredible.
It really is incredible on the surface.
It goes, wow, that's pretty basic.
It's not basic.
It's actually magical becauseyou know what you need to work
on and you start improving that.
And you can see almost like a chainreaction, a domino effect affecting
(16:04):
all the areas of life because you are amultidimensional being, high achievers.
Emphasize one area over another andusually it's work over relationships,
so usually faith, family,friends is middle to low and then
fitness, finances, force is high.
Sometimes fun as well, like dependingon if you're a party person or
not but that's basically thelopsided side of high achievers.
(16:28):
And what happens is you can endup making a billion dollars and be
divorced twice by the time you do that.
Your kids grow up, they resent youand you find yourself very wealthy and
extremely miserable and unfulfilled.
That's what happens.
Absolutely.
Now, do any of the F's carry more weightor importance than the other ones?
(16:49):
Yes.
The first four.
Faith, family, friends and force.
These are studies that showtranscendent experience and the
reason for the transcendent experiencebecause why is that important?
Why is that even in the top four?
It's because if you are thecenter of your universe.
You are very limited by definition.
If you start living for something greaterthan yourself and you start contemplating
(17:11):
life as not being this about you?
But what is the meaning of all of this?
How do I fit in?
What is my moral role?
What is my legacy?
You start elevating thefrequency of your thinking.
So that's sort of the faith piece.
Family, it's because it is the only thingthat actually matters in the long run.
(17:31):
Like, on your deathbed, youwill never regret not spending
more time with your family.
And there's actually statisticsabout that too, right?
People regret not spending enough timewith the family and working too much.
That's what they regret on their deathbed.
On tactically short term, the family isthe ultimate de stressor but guess what?
You need to get the skills tobuild a good and healthy family,
(17:54):
especially a good marriage.
Who you marry.
It's literally the number onething that determines your
happiness, wealth and health.
Do you have the skills tomarry the right person?
Do you have the skills to nurturethat develop that marriage
into a long term success?
If you do that well, that elevates allother areas of your life, including
your professional capabilities
(18:15):
because if you are daring great things,building big things, you need somebody
at home who loves you unconditionally,will talk you off the ledge, will tell
you that you're loved regardless, willbe there for you regardless of your
performance because most high achievers,they have big failures as well on the way.
(18:38):
And it's sort of the same thing,slightly more it's more adjacent
but friendships are the same thing.
People are very lonely and the qualityof your friends actually determines
the quality of your thinking.
So, nurturing a long term relationshipwith the right people that are
high quality people, massive.
And then lastly, the fourthpart which is meaningful work.
If you do meaningless work, you'renot going to be motivated to excel,
(19:01):
to grow, to do hard things, toget to higher planes, etc. So, if
your work is meaningful, there'smore to it than just the paycheck.
It just enhances everything.
So, those are the most important ones.
I absolutely love that.
So with you being in business andthese connections to start that
kind of launched you into whereyou are today, what's been the most
(19:22):
effective marketing strategy for you?
Are you just building relationships,running some ads, doing content,
a little bit of everything?
Or is there an outlier?
I mean, it really depends on who you are.
I think for me, it's relationshipsand content because first of
all, I love creative content.
I'm pretty good at it and I've beenin front of the camera for most of my
life essentially since I was like 25.
(19:43):
So with a bunch of subscribers.
Social?
I don't really work on social.
I have an assistant who just chopsdown my bigger content into smaller
content but I think X is my favorite onebecause it's just mostly words and it
forces you to be brief in your insights.
So content is my preferred way to market.
(20:04):
Also, it's the least salesy one, right?
Because all you're doing isadding value to people's lives.
Absolutely.
Definitely agree with the ideaof providing value and building
relationships, nurturing them throughvalue instead of being spammy and salesy.
That's not fun for anybody.
No it's more inspiring, I think.
What we're doing now is marketing andthe cool thing is that all I do, all I'm
doing is sharing the best things I knowthat can help somebody and resonates
(20:28):
and they go, man, this guy's good.
Maybe I should give him a call.
Yes.
Well, at the very least I cantake notes and implement it.
Absolutely.
So it's just starting now to be 2025.
What are you looking forward to?
Do you have any bigger goalsthat you're working on anything
new and exciting coming out?
Or are you just doing more of the sameamazing stuff you're currently doing?
I am.
(20:48):
I just released a book.
This is actually my first bookand I've written Two more and
I've shelved both of them But theywere more like creative exercises.
So this one's called a little book ofbig reasons to love America And it's
sort of a passion project because it'snot directly related to my business
at all but it's sort of my contributionto the national conversation and it
(21:09):
was born out of my excitement aboutthe United States as an immigrant.
So I married an American.
I grew up in sixcountries, four continents.
This is my sixth country, literally.
So I've had insane stories andexperiences throughout my life.
Some of them pretty dramatic and bad andI married an American and lived in Europe
(21:30):
for a long time and then we moved here
with my three children and being animmigrant gives me this fresh perspective
on, I'm objective more than you are rightif you're an American because I come from
the outside and I studied economics.
I have all these other layers Thatalmost like these lenses that I wear.
So I would tell my wife how amazingthis country is from all these angles.
(21:54):
And she kept saying, youhave to write this down.
These are really good insights.
So eventually I caved, I hesitated fora while because I knew it's immediately
perceived as political but it's notpolitical actually and thought there's
so much negativity about this country.
And it's an amazing country.
And if I can just add a little splashof positivity that wouldn't hurt.
(22:18):
So that's why I wrote the book.
So it's like the most exciting thingfor me this year because it's new and
I'm doing a lot of guest podcastingand every time I go on, I usually
say, Hey, check it out on Amazon
because it's actually really good.
I'm really proud of it.
That was very cool, both one forthe passion project that it kind
of brought you this excitement butalso I think a book like that would
be well received by many people.
(22:39):
We have too much division right nowthe propaganda kind of separates us.
So to get that through a differentlens, a more objective viewpoint
is very welcome in this country.
We need more of it.
I think communication can help improvea lot of the situations that we're in.
So very excited to check that out.
You'll have to send me a link for that andwe'll put that in the show notes as well.
Where else can people find out moreabout you and connect with you online?
(23:02):
They can come or you cancome, I'm talking to the
audience to ChristianRayFlores.
com It's my newsletter.
I highly recommend it.
I put a lot of work into it.
It's basically weekly posts on successand significance and how they interplay
with each other because I believe peoplego, well, it's success and significance.
(23:23):
I would say no.
Real success only comes from significance.
So how do you develop bothand how do you marry both?
And that's basically my passion.
So it drops every Sunday, every Wednesday,there's a free version, there's a
paid version but it's really cool.
There's all kinds of sort of benefitsand things like that I tried to shower
my subscribers with love and gratitude.
(23:44):
That's fantastic.
And we'll have those links availabledown in the description and show notes
so everyone can get connected here.
Christian wanted to open the floorto any imparting wisdom you want
to share with our audience here.
We appreciate you coming on.
Any last words of advice?
That's a good question.
Okay, so my last words of adviceto you, if you're listening is Aim
higher and the reason you aim higher,even though it's a little bit more
(24:06):
scary is because most people don'taim higher and the middle is crowded.
Very well said, Christian.
We appreciate all of your tips and tricksand sharing your wisdom with us today.
We'll have to have you on for a parttwo sometime in the future to let
us know how everything is going.
Thank you so much and congratulations.
Chris, thank you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!