June 2, 2025 • 12 mins
Donna and Yakov explore the cultural shift around privacy and authenticity in the digital age. They discuss how constant sharing has blurred lines between visibility and genuine connection, impacting personal and professional lives. They emphasize the value of maintaining privacy, discerning what to share, and nurturing genuine relationships over curated online personas.
#PrivacyParadox, #DigitalAge, #Authenticity, #OnlinePrivacy, #SocialMedia, #GenuineConnections, #CulturalShift
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Bite-sized L&D, your quick no-nonsense update on the latest in workplace learning.
(00:10):
Today, we're diving into the cultural shift towards digital visibility, discussing how
privacy is often viewed with suspicion and the impact of social media on personal and
professional relationships. Alright, let's get straight into it.
Alright everybody, welcome to another deep dive on Bite-sized L&D. I'm Donna, and as always,
(00:33):
I'm here with my co-host, Yakov, ready to unpack some of the more fascinating tensions in our digital
world. Today, we're diving into something that honestly keeps me up at night sometimes,
this weird cultural shift around privacy and authenticity online.
Hey everyone, Yakov here, and Donna, you're absolutely right to lose sleep over this,
(00:55):
because we're living through something pretty unprecedented. Think about it,
we've somehow reached a point where having no digital footprint makes people suspicious of you.
Like if you're not constantly broadcasting your thoughts, your meals, your relationships,
people start wondering what you're hiding. Right? It's wild when you put it that way.
(01:16):
I remember my mom telling me about a time when keeping your business to yourself was just
normal adult behavior. Now it's almost seen as anti-social. So lay it on me, Yakov, how did we
get here? Well, it's this gradual shift in what we consider authentic connection. We've started
confusing visibility with intimacy, transparency with trust. Social media platforms have essentially
(01:41):
trained us to think that sharing equals caring. That vulnerability means exposure.
But here's the thing, there's a massive difference between being known by someone and
just being seen by everyone. That distinction hits hard, because being truly known is slow work,
right? It's built through time, through shared experiences, through all those small moments
(02:06):
that don't make good content. But being seen, that's immediate, it's scalable, and honestly,
it's addictive. Exactly, and this has completely transformed how we approach relationships and
personal growth. Take dating, for example. We used to discover people gradually, through conversation,
through observing how they treated a waiter, through seeing how they handled disappointment.
(02:30):
Now we preview each other through carefully curated profiles before we even meet.
It's like we're all walking around with our own personal brand managers in our heads.
Every experience gets filtered through this lens of, how will this look to others? I've caught
myself doing it. Standing in front of a beautiful sunset in my first thought isn't about the moment
(02:51):
itself, but about how to capture it for Instagram. And that's the insidious part, isn't it?
It's not malicious. Nobody's forcing us to do this. But we've created this ambient pressure where
unshared experiences somehow feel less real. Like they didn't fully happen unless they've been
documented and validated by others. Which brings up something fascinating about how this affects
(03:15):
our professional lives too. The whole personal branding movement has turned everyone into their
own marketing department. Suddenly, having a successful career isn't enough. You need to be
seen having a successful career. Oh, absolutely. And nowhere is this more obvious than in the
wellness and entrepreneurship spaces. You've got people selling courses on authenticity,
(03:38):
which is just beautifully ironic, while simultaneously performing their own vulnerability
for profit. They're live streaming their breakdowns and monetizing their healing journeys.
It's almost like we've created this economy of oversharing where your personal struggles become
your unique selling proposition. Buy my course because I've overcome trauma and you can too.
(03:59):
But what happens when your business model depends on staying wounded enough to be relatable,
but healed enough to be aspirational? That's such a good point, Donna. You get trapped in this
performance of progress. And here's what's really concerning from a learning and development
perspective. We're teaching people that every experience needs to be immediately processed
(04:20):
into a lesson. Every failure turned into content. Every breakthrough packaged for consumption.
Right. And that actually interferes with genuine learning, doesn't it? Because real growth is
messy and nonlinear. Sometimes you need to sit with confusion or discomfort without immediately
turning it into a teachable moment. Sometimes the most important insights come from experiences
(04:43):
you can't articulate yet. Exactly. There's this beautiful concept of letting things marinate in
your unconscious before you try to make meaning from them. But when you're constantly narrating
your life in real time, you never give your experiences that space to settle and transform
naturally. And we're seeing this play out in corporate environments too. There's this expectation
(05:05):
now that leaders should be radically transparent, sharing their personal struggles and journey
publicly. While there's value in authentic leadership, there's also something to be said
for professional boundaries. Makes sense. Not every vulnerability is meant for public consumption.
Some things are better shared in the right context with the right people at the right time.
(05:27):
It's about discernment, not disclosure. So what do we do with this? How do we navigate a world
where privacy is increasingly seen as suspicious, but oversharing has its own set of problems?
I think it starts with reclaiming our right to complexity. We don't owe anyone a perfectly
coherent narrative of our lives. It's okay to have parts of yourself that are still evolving,
(05:50):
still contradictory, still private. Mystery isn't deception, it's dignity.
That's beautifully put. And from a practical standpoint, maybe it means being more intentional
about what we share and why. Asking ourselves, am I sharing this because it serves me and others?
Or because I feel obligated to perform transparency? Right. And recognizing that some of our most
(06:13):
meaningful experiences might be the ones we keep to ourselves. That moment of unexpected joy in a
bakery, a quiet conversation that changes your perspective, a personal breakthrough that doesn't
need to become a LinkedIn post. It's interesting because in the L&D world, we talk a lot about
creating psychological safety so people feel comfortable sharing and being vulnerable. But
(06:37):
maybe we also need to create space for people to not share, to keep some things private without it
being seen as holding back or being inauthentic. Absolutely. True psychological safety includes
the safety to remain selectively private. It means trusting that someone can be fully engaged and
committed without disclosing every aspect of their inner world. And I think this connects to how we
(07:00):
think about influence and thought leadership too. The most compelling leaders I know aren't the ones
who share everything, but the ones who share thoughtfully. They've maintained some sense of
inner privacy that actually makes their public contributions more valuable. That's such a good
observation. When someone has preserved some mystery, some inner sanctum, it makes their
(07:21):
chosen disclosures feel more meaningful. It's the difference between someone who's always
performing and someone who occasionally lets you glimpse something real. So maybe the goal
isn't to find the perfect balance between sharing and privacy, but to develop better discernment
about what serves our actual growth versus what just feeds the algorithmic machine.
Exactly. And to remember that intimacy, real intimacy, isn't about exposure. It's about
(07:48):
understanding. You can be deeply known by a few people without being completely visible to everyone.
I love that distinction. It reminds me that some of the most profound connections I've had with
colleagues or mentors weren't built through vulnerability dumps, but through consistent,
thoughtful interaction over time. The trust was earned, not declared.
(08:10):
And that takes us back to something fundamental about human development. We grow in relationship,
but we also grow in solitude. We need both the mirror of others and the quiet space of our own
inner world. When everything becomes social, we lose that essential dimension of private reflection.
Which is ironic, because all this sharing is supposed to help us feel more connected,
(08:33):
but it might actually be making us lonelier. When you're constantly performing connection
instead of experiencing it, you end up feeling less known, not more.
That's the paradox, isn't it? The more we broadcast ourselves, the more isolated we might
become from our authentic experience. We start trusting the external validation more than our
(08:54):
internal compass. So for our listeners who are feeling overwhelmed by all this, whether they're
leaders trying to figure out how much to share, or individuals struggling with social media pressure,
what's one concrete thing they can try? I'd suggest starting with what I call the sacred pause.
Before you share something personal or professional, take a moment to ask,
(09:15):
what's my intention here? Am I sharing because it serves a purpose I value,
or because I feel I should? There is no right answer, but awareness is the first step.
I love that. And maybe also giving yourself permission to have experiences that remain
unarchived. Go to that concert without filming it. Have that meaningful conversation without
(09:36):
tweeting about it afterward. Let some moments exist just for you. Yes. And professionally,
this might mean being selective about which insights you share publicly versus which ones you keep for
deeper, more targeted conversations. Not every learning needs to become a case study or a blog post.
(09:56):
Right. And recognizing that your professional value isn't diminished by maintaining some
boundaries around your personal life. You can be an effective leader or contributor
without turning your entire existence into content. Ultimately, I think this is about
reclaiming our relationship with our own experience. Remembering that we are not just content creators
(10:17):
walking around in human bodies. We're complex beings with rich inner lives that don't always need
to be optimized for engagement. That's such a powerful way to put it. Because at the end of
the day, the goal isn't to build a perfect personal brand or to be the most transparent person in the
room. It's to live with integrity and to form genuine connections that actually nourish us.
(10:39):
Exactly. And maybe to trust that we can be interesting and valuable without being completely
legible to everyone all the time. Some things are worth keeping close, not because we're ashamed of
them, but because they're sacred to us. So the big takeaway here is that privacy isn't about hiding.
It's about choosing. It's about being intentional with your inner life and recognizing that not
(11:02):
everything needs to be shared to be real or valuable. And that in a world that's constantly
asking us to perform transparency, maintaining some mystery might actually be the most radical act of
all. Beautifully said, Yaakov. For everyone listening, maybe take this as an invitation to notice what
you're sharing and why. Give yourself permission to keep some things just for you and see how that
(11:26):
feels. You might discover that your private moments become more vivid when they're not being
performed for an audience. And remember, your worth isn't measured by your visibility. Some of the
most important work we do, the thinking, the growing, the quiet acts of care, happens in the spaces
between posts. Thanks for joining us on this deep dive, everyone. Until next time, this is Dana.
(11:50):
And Yaakov, reminding you that learning happens both in community and in solitude. Keep both sacred.
Catch you next time on Bite-Sized L&D. Signing off, Yaakov Lasker.
That's a wrap for today's podcast as we explored the delicate balance between digital visibility
(12:13):
and privacy, urging listeners to cherish authenticity while keeping some aspects of life private.
Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with your friends and colleagues
so they can also stay updated on the latest news and gain powerful insights. Stay tuned for more updates.
Welcome to Bite-sized L&D, your quick no-nonsense update on the latest in workplace learning.
(00:10):
Today, we're diving into the cultural shift towards digital visibility, discussing how
privacy is often viewed with suspicion and the impact of social media on personal and
professional relationships. Alright, let's get straight into it.
Alright everybody, welcome to another deep dive on Bite-sized L&D. I'm Donna, and as always,
(00:33):
I'm here with my co-host, Yakov, ready to unpack some of the more fascinating tensions in our digital
world. Today, we're diving into something that honestly keeps me up at night sometimes,
this weird cultural shift around privacy and authenticity online.
Hey everyone, Yakov here, and Donna, you're absolutely right to lose sleep over this,
(00:55):
because we're living through something pretty unprecedented. Think about it,
we've somehow reached a point where having no digital footprint makes people suspicious of you.
Like if you're not constantly broadcasting your thoughts, your meals, your relationships,
people start wondering what you're hiding. Right? It's wild when you put it that way.
(01:16):
I remember my mom telling me about a time when keeping your business to yourself was just
normal adult behavior. Now it's almost seen as anti-social. So lay it on me, Yakov, how did we
get here? Well, it's this gradual shift in what we consider authentic connection. We've started
confusing visibility with intimacy, transparency with trust. Social media platforms have essentially
(01:41):
trained us to think that sharing equals caring. That vulnerability means exposure.
But here's the thing, there's a massive difference between being known by someone and
just being seen by everyone. That distinction hits hard, because being truly known is slow work,
right? It's built through time, through shared experiences, through all those small moments
(02:06):
that don't make good content. But being seen, that's immediate, it's scalable, and honestly,
it's addictive. Exactly, and this has completely transformed how we approach relationships and
personal growth. Take dating, for example. We used to discover people gradually, through conversation,
through observing how they treated a waiter, through seeing how they handled disappointment.
(02:30):
Now we preview each other through carefully curated profiles before we even meet.
It's like we're all walking around with our own personal brand managers in our heads.
Every experience gets filtered through this lens of, how will this look to others? I've caught
myself doing it. Standing in front of a beautiful sunset in my first thought isn't about the moment
(02:51):
itself, but about how to capture it for Instagram. And that's the insidious part, isn't it?
It's not malicious. Nobody's forcing us to do this. But we've created this ambient pressure where
unshared experiences somehow feel less real. Like they didn't fully happen unless they've been
documented and validated by others. Which brings up something fascinating about how this affects
(03:15):
our professional lives too. The whole personal branding movement has turned everyone into their
own marketing department. Suddenly, having a successful career isn't enough. You need to be
seen having a successful career. Oh, absolutely. And nowhere is this more obvious than in the
wellness and entrepreneurship spaces. You've got people selling courses on authenticity,
(03:38):
which is just beautifully ironic, while simultaneously performing their own vulnerability
for profit. They're live streaming their breakdowns and monetizing their healing journeys.
It's almost like we've created this economy of oversharing where your personal struggles become
your unique selling proposition. Buy my course because I've overcome trauma and you can too.
(03:59):
But what happens when your business model depends on staying wounded enough to be relatable,
but healed enough to be aspirational? That's such a good point, Donna. You get trapped in this
performance of progress. And here's what's really concerning from a learning and development
perspective. We're teaching people that every experience needs to be immediately processed
(04:20):
into a lesson. Every failure turned into content. Every breakthrough packaged for consumption.
Right. And that actually interferes with genuine learning, doesn't it? Because real growth is
messy and nonlinear. Sometimes you need to sit with confusion or discomfort without immediately
turning it into a teachable moment. Sometimes the most important insights come from experiences
(04:43):
you can't articulate yet. Exactly. There's this beautiful concept of letting things marinate in
your unconscious before you try to make meaning from them. But when you're constantly narrating
your life in real time, you never give your experiences that space to settle and transform
naturally. And we're seeing this play out in corporate environments too. There's this expectation
(05:05):
now that leaders should be radically transparent, sharing their personal struggles and journey
publicly. While there's value in authentic leadership, there's also something to be said
for professional boundaries. Makes sense. Not every vulnerability is meant for public consumption.
Some things are better shared in the right context with the right people at the right time.
(05:27):
It's about discernment, not disclosure. So what do we do with this? How do we navigate a world
where privacy is increasingly seen as suspicious, but oversharing has its own set of problems?
I think it starts with reclaiming our right to complexity. We don't owe anyone a perfectly
coherent narrative of our lives. It's okay to have parts of yourself that are still evolving,
(05:50):
still contradictory, still private. Mystery isn't deception, it's dignity.
That's beautifully put. And from a practical standpoint, maybe it means being more intentional
about what we share and why. Asking ourselves, am I sharing this because it serves me and others?
Or because I feel obligated to perform transparency? Right. And recognizing that some of our most
(06:13):
meaningful experiences might be the ones we keep to ourselves. That moment of unexpected joy in a
bakery, a quiet conversation that changes your perspective, a personal breakthrough that doesn't
need to become a LinkedIn post. It's interesting because in the L&D world, we talk a lot about
creating psychological safety so people feel comfortable sharing and being vulnerable. But
(06:37):
maybe we also need to create space for people to not share, to keep some things private without it
being seen as holding back or being inauthentic. Absolutely. True psychological safety includes
the safety to remain selectively private. It means trusting that someone can be fully engaged and
committed without disclosing every aspect of their inner world. And I think this connects to how we
(07:00):
think about influence and thought leadership too. The most compelling leaders I know aren't the ones
who share everything, but the ones who share thoughtfully. They've maintained some sense of
inner privacy that actually makes their public contributions more valuable. That's such a good
observation. When someone has preserved some mystery, some inner sanctum, it makes their
(07:21):
chosen disclosures feel more meaningful. It's the difference between someone who's always
performing and someone who occasionally lets you glimpse something real. So maybe the goal
isn't to find the perfect balance between sharing and privacy, but to develop better discernment
about what serves our actual growth versus what just feeds the algorithmic machine.
Exactly. And to remember that intimacy, real intimacy, isn't about exposure. It's about
(07:48):
understanding. You can be deeply known by a few people without being completely visible to everyone.
I love that distinction. It reminds me that some of the most profound connections I've had with
colleagues or mentors weren't built through vulnerability dumps, but through consistent,
thoughtful interaction over time. The trust was earned, not declared.
(08:10):
And that takes us back to something fundamental about human development. We grow in relationship,
but we also grow in solitude. We need both the mirror of others and the quiet space of our own
inner world. When everything becomes social, we lose that essential dimension of private reflection.
Which is ironic, because all this sharing is supposed to help us feel more connected,
(08:33):
but it might actually be making us lonelier. When you're constantly performing connection
instead of experiencing it, you end up feeling less known, not more.
That's the paradox, isn't it? The more we broadcast ourselves, the more isolated we might
become from our authentic experience. We start trusting the external validation more than our
(08:54):
internal compass. So for our listeners who are feeling overwhelmed by all this, whether they're
leaders trying to figure out how much to share, or individuals struggling with social media pressure,
what's one concrete thing they can try? I'd suggest starting with what I call the sacred pause.
Before you share something personal or professional, take a moment to ask,
(09:15):
what's my intention here? Am I sharing because it serves a purpose I value,
or because I feel I should? There is no right answer, but awareness is the first step.
I love that. And maybe also giving yourself permission to have experiences that remain
unarchived. Go to that concert without filming it. Have that meaningful conversation without
(09:36):
tweeting about it afterward. Let some moments exist just for you. Yes. And professionally,
this might mean being selective about which insights you share publicly versus which ones you keep for
deeper, more targeted conversations. Not every learning needs to become a case study or a blog post.
(09:56):
Right. And recognizing that your professional value isn't diminished by maintaining some
boundaries around your personal life. You can be an effective leader or contributor
without turning your entire existence into content. Ultimately, I think this is about
reclaiming our relationship with our own experience. Remembering that we are not just content creators
(10:17):
walking around in human bodies. We're complex beings with rich inner lives that don't always need
to be optimized for engagement. That's such a powerful way to put it. Because at the end of
the day, the goal isn't to build a perfect personal brand or to be the most transparent person in the
room. It's to live with integrity and to form genuine connections that actually nourish us.
(10:39):
Exactly. And maybe to trust that we can be interesting and valuable without being completely
legible to everyone all the time. Some things are worth keeping close, not because we're ashamed of
them, but because they're sacred to us. So the big takeaway here is that privacy isn't about hiding.
It's about choosing. It's about being intentional with your inner life and recognizing that not
(11:02):
everything needs to be shared to be real or valuable. And that in a world that's constantly
asking us to perform transparency, maintaining some mystery might actually be the most radical act of
all. Beautifully said, Yaakov. For everyone listening, maybe take this as an invitation to notice what
you're sharing and why. Give yourself permission to keep some things just for you and see how that
(11:26):
feels. You might discover that your private moments become more vivid when they're not being
performed for an audience. And remember, your worth isn't measured by your visibility. Some of the
most important work we do, the thinking, the growing, the quiet acts of care, happens in the spaces
between posts. Thanks for joining us on this deep dive, everyone. Until next time, this is Dana.
(11:50):
And Yaakov, reminding you that learning happens both in community and in solitude. Keep both sacred.
Catch you next time on Bite-Sized L&D. Signing off, Yaakov Lasker.
That's a wrap for today's podcast as we explored the delicate balance between digital visibility
(12:13):
and privacy, urging listeners to cherish authenticity while keeping some aspects of life private.
Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with your friends and colleagues
so they can also stay updated on the latest news and gain powerful insights. Stay tuned for more updates.
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