044: Do Your Job!: How to Parent after Divorce, with Alaska’s Allen Levy MS LPA

In today’s episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista Nash welcomes Allen Levy, an Anchorage-based mental health professional and parenting educator, for a direct and thoughtful discussion on how to parent after divorce. Allen draws from over two decades of work with high-conflict families to explain why parenting after separation needs to be treated as a job share, not an emotional battleground.

He shares the framework behind his post-separation parenting curriculum, which was developed through years of real-world experience and is now utilized in workshops, therapy sessions, and court-ordered education. This approach teaches parents to focus on four core duties: communication, decision-making, problem-solving, and conflict resolution across key parenting domains like education, healthcare, and family routines.

Through structured rules, concrete strategies, and clear analogies, Allen reframes co-parenting as professional conduct, not emotional entanglement. The result? Less conflict, fewer court battles, and healthier kids.

You don’t need both parents to change. When one parent acts with professionalism, it can shift everything.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Parent-child relationships must come before parent-to-parent conflict
• Parenting is a job with duties, boundaries, and standards
• Effective communication focuses on children, not personal grievances
• Shift changes (custody exchanges) should feel routine and drama-free
• Parallel parenting can work even when co-parenting is unrealistic
• Focus on behaviors, not blame or psychological explanations
• Avoid the trap of sharing emotional information with your ex
• Protect kids from conflict by removing them from the middle
• Redefine success by how well parents manage the job, not how they feel
• One parent can shift the dynamic, even if the other won’t change

Resources from this Episode

www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com

All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 

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