February 25, 2024 • 17 mins
In this episode titled "Stuck! How to Reroute Your GPS", we delve into strategies to help navigate out of tough situations, both personal and professional. Dr Mandla Moyo engages in a fascinating discussion with Amanda DeWitt, Senior Editor at the Luca Faith and Inspiration imprint of Penguin Random House, South Africa. We explore the common signs of being stuck in a dead-end situation, and how to identify and tackle root causes of dissatisfaction.
Click here to access the podcast in a platform of your choice, such as Spotify and Apple Podcasts https://tr.ee/Kz8U7B2wiq
We discuss the mental, physical, relational, and spiritual signs that signal a potential dead-end situation and the importance of self-reflection to identify the true cause of your dissatisfaction. Dr. Mandla then shares strategies on how to explore alternative paths that align with your values, goals, and passions, emphasizing the importance of learning new skills, knowledge, and insights.
Sometimes, a dead-end triggers the necessity for change, requiring you to replace your old "navigation" method for a new one. How we navigate change, uncertainty, and potential failure is also discussed.
This episode presents real-life examples of successful individuals who braved change and navigated their way to success. Even those that made huge pivots in their careers often found greater success in their new direction, a testament to the power of resilience and experience. The ability to confront challenges, adapt, and innovate to conquer your mountains is indeed inspiring.
Join us on this enlightening journey as we explore the alternative paths that open up when we bravely confront and surmount our obstacles.
Listen to this episode to not only identify when you are stuck but also to find strength in adversity and chart your unique path towards personal and professional success.
The podcast is free and is an optional companion series to the book “Conquer Your Mountains”, which can be accessed here: https://www.conquermountains.com/p/purchase-book/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What do you do when you have reached a dead end and are now driving in uncharted territory?
Welcome to the Conquer Your Mountains Week 9 podcast titled,
Stuck! How to Reroute Your GPS.
And in today's episode, we will explore how you can navigate out of sticky situations.
If you are following the Conquer Your Mountains reading plan,
(00:22):
you are in Week 9 that has the name, To Samuel, Light Giver of My Way.
My name is Amanda DeWitt and I am Senior Editor at the Luca Faith and Inspiration
imprint of Penguin Random House, South Africa.
We publish books that provide readers with engaging, high-quality reading material,
both fiction and non-fiction.
(00:43):
I'm excited to be joining Mandla's podcast today, so let's kick off.
Dr. Mandla, what are some common signs that you have driven into a dead end
and are stuck in your current situation, whether it is personal or professional.
Thanks for that question, Amanda. In my experience, I find that you start to
(01:04):
see signs that are either mental, physical,
relational or spiritual that will give you a hint that a particular situation
is getting to a dead end and you need to make a U-turn.
From a mental side, I've found that I'll start having repeating thoughts.
(01:26):
It's called rumination, where the same thought plays over and over again in my head.
You might experience, for example, that you are trying to sleep and that thought
is still there and it's not going away.
Way and it's like a stuck record
just goes round and round and you
(01:48):
feel like you you can't progress until you process
that thought and that then leads to physical signs so you might discover that
you're feeling stressed you've got headaches you've got lack of sleep because
things are going round and around in your head.
(02:08):
It's amazing how things in our head can affect our whole physicality.
You've got reduced energy.
And I find for me that when those sort of things happen, it manifests in the physical realm.
My energy drops.
If I'm running, I find that I run slower because of the dead-end thoughts.
(02:32):
And from a relational perspective, you might find increased raised conflict.
So often when a project that you're working on is failing, one of the key signs
could be that there's more arguments with fellow team members.
And that is also a sign that you shouldn't ignore.
(02:55):
And then on the spiritual side, I think this is where things can get heated.
If you are at a dead end, you might have feelings of hopelessness.
You might start to question the meaning of life.
You might be like a Job where you have questions about suffering.
(03:16):
Why is this happening to me?
And if you are a believer, you might think that you've been abandoned by God.
And once you get to that stage, you know that you're really at a dead end.
Those are actually all very familiar signs i think a lot of people do find themselves
(03:40):
facing those kind of things and not sure why how can you identify the root causes
of your dissatisfaction.
Yeah so in my experience when there's been
dissatisfaction i've for
example been involved in several businesses over
my career and when I've
(04:01):
got to a stage where a business is failing
and I'm experiencing those symptoms which
I outlined earlier what I found
useful is to first of
all self-reflect often especially when
things are at a dead end often we tend
to try and run even faster so if
(04:25):
your project is failing you might feel that
maybe you need to put in more time and more effort but theoretically if you're
at a dead end running faster won't really help you so taking that moment to
stop and self-reflect and ask yourself what are the emotions that I'm experiencing?
(04:46):
Why am I feeling this way?
How long have I been feeling different from my previous emotional state?
And what are the changes in my life that have happened recently that could tell
me where that dissatisfaction is coming from?
Because sometimes you might find that But it's not the project that is at a dead end.
(05:11):
It might be a certain...
Person in that project that maybe is
not pulling their weight or yeah or
maybe there's a relational conflict and if
you don't identify the root cause you might make the wrong decision
you might abandon the project whereas maybe what you needed to do was to change
(05:34):
people that are working with you on on that project and in that self-reflection
you need to follow that up with identifying Identifying what your specific fears are.
So often when thoughts go round and round in our heads, there could be deep
fears that we're not willing to confront.
(05:55):
And that's where you end up with a lot of rumination.
So you need to ask yourself, what is the real thing that I'm afraid of?
You can see on the surface what your concern is.
But if I look at myself really
deep down what am I truly afraid
(06:16):
of in this situation is it
the fear of failure is it rejection
is it the fear of looking bad and knowing what that deep fear is helps you to
get closer to what what the root cause is so really what you're trying to do
(06:36):
is is to go deeper and deeper into that analysis,
and avoid shallow thinking.
And some of that depth could help you identify if there's unresolved conflicts or traumas.
And you might find that the feelings that you're experiencing are merely the messengers.
(06:57):
And going deep into the situation will help you find the true root causes.
That really makes sense to not address the symptoms and not waste any energy
and time on that, but rather try to identify the root cause. That's really helpful.
What are some strategies to
explore alternative paths that align with your values, goals and passions?
(07:22):
Yeah, so when you look at alternative strategies, it's about learning how to
operate in uncharted territory.
I remember last year I was driving in a foreign country and the drive took me
to a rural area where the roads were not paved. and I had relied so much on GPS.
(07:45):
And when you're using GPS, you can tend to relax quite a lot because you just
need to obey the instructions.
But I got to a stage in the journey where the GPS hadn't marked that area.
And all of a sudden, I was forced to use other forms of navigation.
I knew I had to come back by the same road. and now I was looking at the landmarks.
(08:12):
Did I make a right turn at this particular tree that had this shape?
How long did I drive until I got to this dwelling?
So it was really finding new ways of navigation.
And I think it's the same way you can feel stuck in a dead-end situation,
(08:33):
situation, find new ways to navigate.
And those new ways could come with, it could be new skills, for example.
Sometimes you can do a short course. So let's say you realize that you're struggling
with business development.
There's so many short courses that you can do that help that particular area,
(08:57):
or maybe it's a new technology that you're not used to.
So it could be new skills, new knowledge.
It could be new insights, whether from reading or social media,
and it could be chatting to people to get new perspectives.
(09:18):
And I think the combination of that is what will help you realize what is that
alternative path that you need to take.
You can succeed if you use those tips, provided that early on you took that
time to stop the bus and, in my case, stop the car and self-reflect and.
(09:43):
Convince myself that I now need a new way of navigation. The GPS is not going to work anymore.
Accept that I'll need to navigate differently and find a new tool that will
help me create an alternative path.
It reminds me of that saying where it says, the same thinking that caused the
(10:07):
problem is not the same thinking that's going to solve the problem. them.
What would you say are the dangers of not addressing the root causes and staying stuck?
Most of the dangers really in terms of your internal confidence,
you can start to feel like you're going back in life.
You can lose time as well.
(10:29):
So sometimes if you are stuck, it would be a lot quicker to stop that entire
journey and start a new journey.
But if you don't address that it causes challenges that you can keep on flogging a dead horse.
And when you flog a dead horse, the amount of floggings that you give it won't make it start running.
(10:54):
Yeah, so I think the biggest danger that I perceive is lost time and the other
danger is lost confidence.
Absolutely. And how can you overcome the fear of change, uncertainty or failure
that may prevent you from pursuing a different path?
I think it's important to chart what that path is, because if you are building
(11:20):
something new, your success, a lot of that success will come from knowing what
it is that you're building.
So taking that time to stop and draft a new plan. And the new plan doesn't have
to be perfect, but it does have to be a plan that.
Will hopefully get you 75% of the way, because when you get to the 75% mark,
(11:44):
you'll be able to come up with an alternative plan that will get you to the
rest of the way. So get that plan in place.
And it's important to then take small steps where you can get some very early victories.
It can often feel daunting to do something totally new.
(12:05):
But if it's more steps you'll get some satisfaction I was speaking to a friend
in the last week and they've recently started running,
they've taken comfort from being able to run,
3km without stopping and to them that's a victory and it's something to hang
(12:27):
on to so take those steps, that 1km kilometer to kilometer run,
that's using running as an analogy.
And when you repeat those steps over a month, before you know it,
small journeys you are taking could become half marathons.
So, key is to keep moving.
(12:51):
The other element is to avoid quick fixes. Yeah, so if you've broken a bone
putting a band-aid, it won't fix it. No, it won't.
And ultimately, you want to get to the stage where you feel empowered in what
you do and you feel like you have a lot of momentum that will keep you moving.
(13:17):
Absolutely. So celebrate the small victories one step at a time.
And like the word says, don't despise the day of small beginnings.
What are some examples of successful people who have switched careers,
lifestyles, or even perspectives?
And what can you learn from their stories?
So often people are good at switching in times of stress.
(13:40):
I remember during the COVID-19 years, so many companies and individuals had
to make huge changes, like during the pandemic, couldn't be close to other people.
So before we knew it, people had adapted to working remotely,
to using digital, to finding new ways to deliver products and services to people. people.
(14:07):
So with that, I'm confident that 100% of the 8 billion people on our planet
are able to make a change if they really have to.
The key question is getting to that point where you realize that you need to make a change.
There's many examples of people that that made huge changes.
(14:31):
If you look at the founder of Amazon, for example, Jeff Bezos,
he started with a career in computer science before launching Amazon, which was a huge change.
We look at the likes of Dwayne, The Rock Johnson.
He had a sports career. He changed into entertainment, World Wrestling Federation,
(15:00):
and then ended up being a TV actor.
So he had to make lots of changes.
40th President of the United States, Ronald Reagan, he was also an actor.
And yeah, he became president at the age of 69.
So there's so many examples where people have made massive pivots,
(15:24):
and you find interestingly that the people who make huge pivots from something
that might have been dead end, you find that they succeed even further in their new direction.
And I think a lot of that is to do with the fact that when you change paths,
(15:46):
when you change direction, there's things from your failed path that you take forward.
You've got a stronger level of resilience.
You've got mental fortitude.
You've got experiences that people who didn't have to make a change did not go through.
(16:06):
So I think there is a goal for everyone to be able to make powerful changes in their life,
to be able to reroute their GPSs and to turn back if ever they reach a dead end.
It's actually very inspiring to think that usually from challenges and adversity,
(16:30):
innovation and adaptation and creativity is born. This is really amazing.
Thank you so much, Dr. Mandler.
We will end the podcast with an extract from Mandler's book,
Conquer Your Mountains, Week 9.
Sometimes I have found myself in the most intractable of situations where solutions
(16:50):
seem too far or too impossible to even contemplate.
It could be a tunnel that seems to have a series of dead ends.
And yet, with the right light, the alternative paths could become more visible.
What do you do when you have reached a dead end and are now driving in uncharted territory?
Welcome to the Conquer Your Mountains Week 9 podcast titled,
Stuck! How to Reroute Your GPS.
And in today's episode, we will explore how you can navigate out of sticky situations.
If you are following the Conquer Your Mountains reading plan,
(00:22):
you are in Week 9 that has the name, To Samuel, Light Giver of My Way.
My name is Amanda DeWitt and I am Senior Editor at the Luca Faith and Inspiration
imprint of Penguin Random House, South Africa.
We publish books that provide readers with engaging, high-quality reading material,
both fiction and non-fiction.
(00:43):
I'm excited to be joining Mandla's podcast today, so let's kick off.
Dr. Mandla, what are some common signs that you have driven into a dead end
and are stuck in your current situation, whether it is personal or professional.
Thanks for that question, Amanda. In my experience, I find that you start to
(01:04):
see signs that are either mental, physical,
relational or spiritual that will give you a hint that a particular situation
is getting to a dead end and you need to make a U-turn.
From a mental side, I've found that I'll start having repeating thoughts.
(01:26):
It's called rumination, where the same thought plays over and over again in my head.
You might experience, for example, that you are trying to sleep and that thought
is still there and it's not going away.
Way and it's like a stuck record
just goes round and round and you
(01:48):
feel like you you can't progress until you process
that thought and that then leads to physical signs so you might discover that
you're feeling stressed you've got headaches you've got lack of sleep because
things are going round and around in your head.
(02:08):
It's amazing how things in our head can affect our whole physicality.
You've got reduced energy.
And I find for me that when those sort of things happen, it manifests in the physical realm.
My energy drops.
If I'm running, I find that I run slower because of the dead-end thoughts.
(02:32):
And from a relational perspective, you might find increased raised conflict.
So often when a project that you're working on is failing, one of the key signs
could be that there's more arguments with fellow team members.
And that is also a sign that you shouldn't ignore.
(02:55):
And then on the spiritual side, I think this is where things can get heated.
If you are at a dead end, you might have feelings of hopelessness.
You might start to question the meaning of life.
You might be like a Job where you have questions about suffering.
(03:16):
Why is this happening to me?
And if you are a believer, you might think that you've been abandoned by God.
And once you get to that stage, you know that you're really at a dead end.
Those are actually all very familiar signs i think a lot of people do find themselves
(03:40):
facing those kind of things and not sure why how can you identify the root causes
of your dissatisfaction.
Yeah so in my experience when there's been
dissatisfaction i've for
example been involved in several businesses over
my career and when I've
(04:01):
got to a stage where a business is failing
and I'm experiencing those symptoms which
I outlined earlier what I found
useful is to first of
all self-reflect often especially when
things are at a dead end often we tend
to try and run even faster so if
(04:25):
your project is failing you might feel that
maybe you need to put in more time and more effort but theoretically if you're
at a dead end running faster won't really help you so taking that moment to
stop and self-reflect and ask yourself what are the emotions that I'm experiencing?
(04:46):
Why am I feeling this way?
How long have I been feeling different from my previous emotional state?
And what are the changes in my life that have happened recently that could tell
me where that dissatisfaction is coming from?
Because sometimes you might find that But it's not the project that is at a dead end.
(05:11):
It might be a certain...
Person in that project that maybe is
not pulling their weight or yeah or
maybe there's a relational conflict and if
you don't identify the root cause you might make the wrong decision
you might abandon the project whereas maybe what you needed to do was to change
(05:34):
people that are working with you on on that project and in that self-reflection
you need to follow that up with identifying Identifying what your specific fears are.
So often when thoughts go round and round in our heads, there could be deep
fears that we're not willing to confront.
(05:55):
And that's where you end up with a lot of rumination.
So you need to ask yourself, what is the real thing that I'm afraid of?
You can see on the surface what your concern is.
But if I look at myself really
deep down what am I truly afraid
(06:16):
of in this situation is it
the fear of failure is it rejection
is it the fear of looking bad and knowing what that deep fear is helps you to
get closer to what what the root cause is so really what you're trying to do
(06:36):
is is to go deeper and deeper into that analysis,
and avoid shallow thinking.
And some of that depth could help you identify if there's unresolved conflicts or traumas.
And you might find that the feelings that you're experiencing are merely the messengers.
(06:57):
And going deep into the situation will help you find the true root causes.
That really makes sense to not address the symptoms and not waste any energy
and time on that, but rather try to identify the root cause. That's really helpful.
What are some strategies to
explore alternative paths that align with your values, goals and passions?
(07:22):
Yeah, so when you look at alternative strategies, it's about learning how to
operate in uncharted territory.
I remember last year I was driving in a foreign country and the drive took me
to a rural area where the roads were not paved. and I had relied so much on GPS.
(07:45):
And when you're using GPS, you can tend to relax quite a lot because you just
need to obey the instructions.
But I got to a stage in the journey where the GPS hadn't marked that area.
And all of a sudden, I was forced to use other forms of navigation.
I knew I had to come back by the same road. and now I was looking at the landmarks.
(08:12):
Did I make a right turn at this particular tree that had this shape?
How long did I drive until I got to this dwelling?
So it was really finding new ways of navigation.
And I think it's the same way you can feel stuck in a dead-end situation,
(08:33):
situation, find new ways to navigate.
And those new ways could come with, it could be new skills, for example.
Sometimes you can do a short course. So let's say you realize that you're struggling
with business development.
There's so many short courses that you can do that help that particular area,
(08:57):
or maybe it's a new technology that you're not used to.
So it could be new skills, new knowledge.
It could be new insights, whether from reading or social media,
and it could be chatting to people to get new perspectives.
(09:18):
And I think the combination of that is what will help you realize what is that
alternative path that you need to take.
You can succeed if you use those tips, provided that early on you took that
time to stop the bus and, in my case, stop the car and self-reflect and.
(09:43):
Convince myself that I now need a new way of navigation. The GPS is not going to work anymore.
Accept that I'll need to navigate differently and find a new tool that will
help me create an alternative path.
It reminds me of that saying where it says, the same thinking that caused the
(10:07):
problem is not the same thinking that's going to solve the problem. them.
What would you say are the dangers of not addressing the root causes and staying stuck?
Most of the dangers really in terms of your internal confidence,
you can start to feel like you're going back in life.
You can lose time as well.
(10:29):
So sometimes if you are stuck, it would be a lot quicker to stop that entire
journey and start a new journey.
But if you don't address that it causes challenges that you can keep on flogging a dead horse.
And when you flog a dead horse, the amount of floggings that you give it won't make it start running.
(10:54):
Yeah, so I think the biggest danger that I perceive is lost time and the other
danger is lost confidence.
Absolutely. And how can you overcome the fear of change, uncertainty or failure
that may prevent you from pursuing a different path?
I think it's important to chart what that path is, because if you are building
(11:20):
something new, your success, a lot of that success will come from knowing what
it is that you're building.
So taking that time to stop and draft a new plan. And the new plan doesn't have
to be perfect, but it does have to be a plan that.
Will hopefully get you 75% of the way, because when you get to the 75% mark,
(11:44):
you'll be able to come up with an alternative plan that will get you to the
rest of the way. So get that plan in place.
And it's important to then take small steps where you can get some very early victories.
It can often feel daunting to do something totally new.
(12:05):
But if it's more steps you'll get some satisfaction I was speaking to a friend
in the last week and they've recently started running,
they've taken comfort from being able to run,
3km without stopping and to them that's a victory and it's something to hang
(12:27):
on to so take those steps, that 1km kilometer to kilometer run,
that's using running as an analogy.
And when you repeat those steps over a month, before you know it,
small journeys you are taking could become half marathons.
So, key is to keep moving.
(12:51):
The other element is to avoid quick fixes. Yeah, so if you've broken a bone
putting a band-aid, it won't fix it. No, it won't.
And ultimately, you want to get to the stage where you feel empowered in what
you do and you feel like you have a lot of momentum that will keep you moving.
(13:17):
Absolutely. So celebrate the small victories one step at a time.
And like the word says, don't despise the day of small beginnings.
What are some examples of successful people who have switched careers,
lifestyles, or even perspectives?
And what can you learn from their stories?
So often people are good at switching in times of stress.
(13:40):
I remember during the COVID-19 years, so many companies and individuals had
to make huge changes, like during the pandemic, couldn't be close to other people.
So before we knew it, people had adapted to working remotely,
to using digital, to finding new ways to deliver products and services to people. people.
(14:07):
So with that, I'm confident that 100% of the 8 billion people on our planet
are able to make a change if they really have to.
The key question is getting to that point where you realize that you need to make a change.
There's many examples of people that that made huge changes.
(14:31):
If you look at the founder of Amazon, for example, Jeff Bezos,
he started with a career in computer science before launching Amazon, which was a huge change.
We look at the likes of Dwayne, The Rock Johnson.
He had a sports career. He changed into entertainment, World Wrestling Federation,
(15:00):
and then ended up being a TV actor.
So he had to make lots of changes.
40th President of the United States, Ronald Reagan, he was also an actor.
And yeah, he became president at the age of 69.
So there's so many examples where people have made massive pivots,
(15:24):
and you find interestingly that the people who make huge pivots from something
that might have been dead end, you find that they succeed even further in their new direction.
And I think a lot of that is to do with the fact that when you change paths,
(15:46):
when you change direction, there's things from your failed path that you take forward.
You've got a stronger level of resilience.
You've got mental fortitude.
You've got experiences that people who didn't have to make a change did not go through.
(16:06):
So I think there is a goal for everyone to be able to make powerful changes in their life,
to be able to reroute their GPSs and to turn back if ever they reach a dead end.
It's actually very inspiring to think that usually from challenges and adversity,
(16:30):
innovation and adaptation and creativity is born. This is really amazing.
Thank you so much, Dr. Mandler.
We will end the podcast with an extract from Mandler's book,
Conquer Your Mountains, Week 9.
Sometimes I have found myself in the most intractable of situations where solutions
(16:50):
seem too far or too impossible to even contemplate.
It could be a tunnel that seems to have a series of dead ends.
And yet, with the right light, the alternative paths could become more visible.
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