Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Coming up next on episode one of Couples Unscripted.
I looked at him and you looked at me.
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I think I was looking at the couch.
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No, no, no.
Ladies, I don't know what's this talk about him picking out the ring.
.9995That's foolishness.
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Like, that is crazy to me.
I don't understand.
I had options.
(00:21):
Listen, you had two options.
You're probably a red flag also.
birds of a feather flock together.
So change your ways and identify where are your green flags? What are your strong, what are your high characteristic traits? What's up guys.
(00:47):
It is Ayana and Niles and it is episode one of couples unscripted.
We're freaking excited.
It has been such a long time coming just to be here.
Sitting here today in front of you guys It's a long journey.
It's a long journey, but we're so excited.
.999This is What we've been working on for a really long time has been calling us and drawing us to be able to put on this show and there's so many different dynamics of the show that it's gonna be It's just gonna be more than what you guys will probably imagine.
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Yes, but We're going to get into that a little bit later.
(01:27):
We're going to be diving into a lot of topics on love and dating and single life and marriage and non traditional dynamics.
Now, monogamy, all kinds of dynamics.
we are talking about talking to all dynamics.
Couple's relationships.
We're going to flip over every stone.
That's what it called.
Something like that.
Yeah, we knocked them all over.
(01:47):
Happy valentine's day valentine's day Thank you guys for joining us on this day of love or what they call it love But every day for me is a day of love 365 spouse because you got to put in that work for all the ones who are in a relationship and even for the single people.
Happy valentine's day to y'all as well.
Thank you for joining us it means a lot that y'all tuned in.
(02:09):
Like Ayana said, this has been a labor of love.
it's been some very testing and trying moments and days and long nights.
a lot of unsynced audio and failed cameras and Yeah, I know.
A lot of shit, like a lot of stuff happening and I'm tired of it, but I'm happy to be here, but oof.
(02:30):
It's part of the process, you know.
.999What Couples Unscripted really is, is just giving unfiltered, raw, deep, honest conversation in regards to marriage.
If you're in a long term relationship and don't want to be married.
.9If you're single and maybe looking to get in a relationship or you just want to understand what's going on with it.
(02:50):
People in their dynamics.
We just want to be able to have those honest conversations and really peel back the layers of what it is and what it means to be in a relationship and what you have to give personally in order to have a successful relationship.
Because a lot of time I think people like to project and put things onto their partners.
And this shows we want to hold up the mirror and be like, Hey, it takes two to tango and you have to be accountable just as much as your partner.
(03:16):
In regards to this episode, Episode one, we're going to talk about identifying green flags, cause I believe since it's Valentine's day, we want to keep talking about love and good things and good energy.
We don't need to talk about any, eh, you know, let's stay away from that.
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We're going to get into all that, eh, later on.
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There, there's episodes of where it gets.
(03:38):
The red flags will come which we will do have an episode later on in regards to red flags and identifying red flags Yeah, so just tune in later on an episode when we talk and discuss more about identifying green flags but that'll be later on right now we still want to talk about couples unscripted and what it is and why we are doing this Yeah, so like why now like why couples unscripted like why are we doing this? For me, I have a background in film And I have always wanted to create a show, didn't know what kind of show I wanted to create.
(04:14):
I knew it was going to be based off of like human experiences and maybe reality, I wasn't too sure.
And me and Niles have always had this journey of figuring out what we wanted to do, what our business venture is.
We have tons of other business ventures, but we're just trying to figure out what we can do and what we can see in tangible, like in real time, build and grow.
(04:36):
Because we have other things that we're working on, but we want to see something like right now that we can like touch and that's our baby and we can nurture.
So, we sat with the idea of doing a podcast and we're like, oh, we don't, we don't just want it to be just a podcast.
We want it to be more than a podcast.
.999So, we came up with Couples Unscripted.
Relationship show and it's going to be about so much more than just me and Niles here, you know sitting together I feel like now is the time for us to create this show because we have been together for eight years And we have gone through so much in our relationship that we want to share our relationship, but we also want to just have this dialogue because it took so long for us to get here to learn how to communicate, to accept, you know, each other's thought process and feelings.
(05:29):
So we are here to share.
And I've.
.9995I've been talking to so many people who are struggling with relationships or how to be in them and the things that are working and are not working.
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So we're like, we want to have a dialogue and we want to have conversations, around this, but we are not licensed professionals at all.
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I think one day I would love to be, but at this point, we are not licensed professionals, we are not therapists.
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everything we say comes from our experiences and the love that we have for one another.
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just take that into account if you do need to seek help.
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Within your relationship or with yourself, please reach out to a therapist or a relationship coach.
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But me and Niles are just here to really have these raw unfiltered conversations and to bring couples in and to have different segments and to have fun with talking about relationships and love and being single and that journey.
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Cause that's a whole nother fricking journey.
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Yeah, because we're not here to tell you how to have what to tell you about your relationship and how you should go in your relationship.
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Your relationship is uniquely your own relationship.
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Only thing we can do is tell you our experiences and tell you what we did do or what we may do in certain situations, scenarios.
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But that is also why we plan to, broaden the show, have couples on the street.
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Our street talk episode is releasing now, so you will get to be able to see it now on our YouTube.
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Right after you watch this episode, go check out our street talk episode.
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so we want to, we'll meet couples on the street and we'll ask them some questions from our couples on scripted card game.
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We'll ask them some questions, pertaining to their relationship and get the honest answers right then and there.
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right there in a moment, which is awesome.
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So it was really unfiltered.
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It's just raw.
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it's authentic.
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Answers, from the street and the day in the moment, we just catch them like, yo, yeah, it's fine.
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We'll be outside.
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Yeah, we outside.
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Y'all braving this Atlanta weather.
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That's been crazy.
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We've been in the snow.
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Look, y'all, we was dealing with a lot, yo, but we've been trying.
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Each episode on couples unscripted is going to be 30 minutes.
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So we're gonna have 30 minute episodes.
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They're going to be dropped every single Monday, so you can check us out every single Monday.
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As of now, me and Niles are going to be the main host of Couples Unscripted, so you will be seeing us every Monday, but don't get too comfortable because we might be switching things up, having Niles as the host, maybe somebody else in my seat, or maybe somebody else in his seat.
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Our goal with this show is to branch out and have different segments and to keep things fun.
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we're going to keep y'all on y'all's toes.
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Yeah, we're going to bring in different perspectives and give y'all different viewpoints because we have our viewpoints and our perspectives on things, but it may not be your viewpoint, your perspective, and we could bring someone in who can align with that and can speak to the way, hopefully, that You can digest and understand it.
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So yeah, be ready, for a little musical chairs, in regards to some of the hosts in front of the four couples unscripted and also just be ready for some different other.
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Segments and shows from us in particular, we already said the street talks, but we have worked on some other things.
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We haven't forgot about y'all single people.
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we want to talk directly to the singles.
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we will have a single edition.
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we working on a lot of things, so just be prepared for, what we have in the works in regards to be bringing in some couples in too.
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So we're going to be sitting down with couples having conversations as well.
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And don't forget that our Couples on the Street that Niall says you can watch now, it is going to be released every other Friday, so it's going to be twice a month that you'll be able to see Couples on the Street, Street Talks, so make sure you guys check that out.
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I know that you guys want to get to know us a little bit more, so we are going to play our Couples unscripted card game and just so you guys know we like to play games within our segment So when you see one you might get a little game here or there And it's just to get to know us as your host of the show So the episodes that you guys are going to be seeing over the course of a couple weeks You will get to know our dynamic in our relationship.
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But yeah, let's let's get into it.
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I go first Let me see.
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Okay.
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Straight off the top.
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Off the top, off the press.
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Fresh.
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All right.
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Question for you, miss Ana.
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What's up? All right, so how did, how did we meet? Yes, How did we meet? So me and Niles met through mutual friends of my sisters.
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So my friend, my sister had mutual friends.
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That's how I met Niles.
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There was a kickback happening.
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This was like eight years ago when kickbacks was kick back in, when we was out We was going to the the apartment parties or the house parties and having a good old time the jungle juice When I could actually do shots and now I can't So we got a kickback hosted by my sister and Niles was there, and I actually have, I did know Niles prior to that evening, I just didn't run in the same circle with him, so we never had a chance to actually really connect.
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So I was with my friends and we were drinking, you know, we was there before because that's my sister's house.
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So we was just chilling.
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So you guys came in and we said, Oh, he's cute.
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Like Niles is cute because everybody knew like Niles is cute, you know? So She, my friend had said, let's bet and to see who can get him first.
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Let's have a game.
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Let's bet.
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Let's bet and see who can get him first.
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It kind of is a game sometimes, like on some real shit.
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So, me, I have like no competition, like.
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Is that how you feel? Yes.
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Okay.
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That is how I felt.
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So I looked at him and you looked at me.
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I think I was looking at the couch.
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No, no, no.
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Uhuh.
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No sir.
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I looked at you.
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You looked at me.
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I looked at, I looked at you.
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It was like ga.
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It was like game on.
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I was like, game on.
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And then I looked at him and he's in the kitchen and then.
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We'd just look at each other.
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They ain't know when the game was on.
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You didn't know the game was on, but it was just like a, it was just a connection.
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It was just something there.
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We locked eyes.
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We locked eyes.
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It was, that was, that was, that was stupid.
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That was like, what the was that? Sparks.
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Yeah.
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It was something like, it was weird.
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Yeah, it was, it was, it was an energy.
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Yeah, it was, you know, like.
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It was weird.
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It was like, what? So I went over and I talked to him first.
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I did.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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You came up, put your hand up on my shoulder.
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I did.
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I'm a little touchy feely.
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So I did, you know, put my hand on you first.
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And I said, Oh, I, you know, I saw you walked in.
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I didn't say, Hey.
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And I said, I didn't, I haven't officially like met you.
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Yeah.
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Something like that.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I said, I hadn't officially met you.
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And I wanted to say, Hey.
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Because we've been in the same room multiple times prior to, and just, Nothing happened.
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No, no conversation.
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Nothing.
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I didn't even look at him.
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It wasn't a hey or a bye.
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It wasn't a hey or a bye.
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It was that's a human being over there.
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Yeah, just another person in the room, you know, in a mix.
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So that was wild.
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But yeah, that was it.
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And then, from there we had a really good night and then We just never stopped talking after that, never took a break, never, never stopped talking.
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And here we are, eight years later, we still stand today.
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Eight years? I don't know, if it wasn't for the bet, I probably would have still talked to you that night.
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Because you were cute.
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I was, I was in my, hey, I was in my bag, yo, I was in my bag that night.
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I was feeling myself, that was the time.
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Was you looking for, was you looking for a lady that night? Nah, not really.
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You were just looking to have a chill night? Nah, I was just trying to have a good time.
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Yeah, I ain't want none of that drama, none of that stuff, you know? Like, I was just out with the boys.
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We had like a bonfire that night, earlier on that night.
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So I was coming from like a little bonfire.
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Like, we was lit, you know? And I was actually, that was just supposed to be like a pre game warm up.
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And we was supposed to go somewhere after that, or at least I was supposed to go somewhere after that.
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And then, I bumped into your little ass and changed your plans.
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And never.
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Then he met yours truly.
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Yeah, never went to go, I was supposed to go see someone that night and never made it.
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Cause we talked all night.
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You probably still could have made it.
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We talked all night, it was late as hell.
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Yeah, yeah, we did talk all night.
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And then I like walked you to your car, okay.
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And then we talked again, but anyway.
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Then we're getting into the weeds.
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But yeah, we, we met that night and that was.
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That was it.
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It was it, yeah.
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Ever since then, but Right.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Your turn.
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Boom.
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Yeah, let's get this game rolling.
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You know, by the way, when we play, do, we do play some games together, like on a PS five, which is dope.
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Like, yo, I love playing games with her.
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So this FY we are a fun couple.
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We're, we're gamers.
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We're gamers.
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I'm a gamer, but she, she a little, I got a good one she played, but now's on the spot.
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Me.
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Alright, let's go.
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It's how did you propose and were you nervous? Well, I can say I wasn't nervous cause I knew I wanted to ask you to marry me off rip.
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I was just nervous that I wasn't going to get it right and I didn't because so how I proposed was, there was a, there was a picture that we had.
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of me and her that she really did like.
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And so what I did, I took that picture, I blew it up, and I made puzzle pieces out of it.
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And at the bottom it was like, will you marry me, on the very last end piece was marry me.
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and so we was putting that puzzle together while like, two weeks or something.
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And it started to come together.
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00:15:47,839.995 --> 00:15:55,729.995
And as we got closer and closer to the end, she was like, oh, will you, and I'm like, and I'm looking for the very last piece, couldn't find it.
228
00:15:56,204.996 --> 00:16:09,594.996
And I was like, Oh my God, like what a piece and she like, yo, where's the ring food? Like, like, where's this ring? Listen, what's going on here? Like, you're like, I see this, this, this look great.
229
00:16:09,614.996 --> 00:16:10,534.995
This puzzle look great.
230
00:16:10,534.996 --> 00:16:15,114.9955
We look good, but this ain't, will you? Cause I like to do the end pieces on the, on a puzzle.
231
00:16:15,164.9955 --> 00:16:16,64.9955
I'm a puzzler.
232
00:16:16,454.9955 --> 00:16:17,534.9955
Yeah, she got puzzles.
233
00:16:17,694.9955 --> 00:16:18,784.9955
She be knocking them puzzles out.
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00:16:18,904.9955 --> 00:16:19,924.9955
I like puzzles.
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00:16:19,925.0955 --> 00:16:27,374.9955
I was doing the end pieces and I was like, where the hell is these pieces? It was like a chunk of the puzzle missing.
236
00:16:27,394.9955 --> 00:16:31,964.9945
I was like, what is going on? And I had the piece after I asked her to marry me and gave her the ring.
237
00:16:32,564.9945 --> 00:16:33,404.9945
It was in my pocket.
238
00:16:33,434.9955 --> 00:16:34,224.9955
It was just deep.
239
00:16:34,424.9955 --> 00:16:35,644.9955
I had like some windsuit pants.
240
00:16:35,644.9955 --> 00:16:36,714.9955
I didn't have the right.
241
00:16:36,765.0955 --> 00:16:38,834.9955
It was so typical Niles.
242
00:16:38,894.9955 --> 00:16:39,714.9955
It's on camera.
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00:16:39,724.9955 --> 00:16:41,44.9955
Typical Niles, you have it on camera.
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Foolish.
245
00:16:42,64.9955 --> 00:16:43,674.8955
Just lost, lost, lost in the thoughts.
246
00:16:43,674.9955 --> 00:16:48,64.9955
And I was, he was like running around trying to find the piece and I was like, dude, just ask me.
247
00:16:48,74.9945 --> 00:16:49,324.9945
Yeah, I'm like, I need the piece first.
248
00:16:49,324.9945 --> 00:16:51,54.9955
I need to complete the thing before I can ask you.
249
00:16:51,64.9945 --> 00:16:52,914.9955
And she was like, fool.
250
00:16:52,954.9945 --> 00:16:57,754.9955
And I was like, where is the ring? Cause I wanted to know which one he picked out.
251
00:16:57,784.9955 --> 00:16:58,404.9955
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
252
00:16:58,754.9955 --> 00:17:03,634.9955
And ladies, I don't know, or I don't know what's this talk about him picking out the ring.
253
00:17:03,844.9955 --> 00:17:04,794.9955
That's foolishness.
254
00:17:04,794.9955 --> 00:17:05,854.9955
that is crazy to me.
255
00:17:05,854.9955 --> 00:17:06,464.9955
I don't understand.
256
00:17:06,484.9945 --> 00:17:07,224.9955
I had options.
257
00:17:07,759.9955 --> 00:17:08,979.9955
Listen, you had two options.
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00:17:09,249.9955 --> 00:17:10,559.9955
Number one, you can't get it wrong.
259
00:17:10,569.9955 --> 00:17:12,49.9955
Because I picked out the two options I saw.
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00:17:12,49.9955 --> 00:17:14,549.9955
Was it three? I saw three rings when I went.
261
00:17:14,739.9955 --> 00:17:15,625.0455
Oh, maybe it was three options.
262
00:17:15,625.0455 --> 00:17:16,189.9955
Yeah, it was three.
263
00:17:16,779.9945 --> 00:17:18,639.9955
But only one stood out to me.
264
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Right.
265
00:17:19,539.9955 --> 00:17:19,799.9955
Yeah.
266
00:17:19,869.9955 --> 00:17:21,329.9945
Or my mom pushed you that way.
267
00:17:21,449.9955 --> 00:17:22,359.9945
Nah, she didn't have to.
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00:17:22,669.9945 --> 00:17:24,519.8945
I saw what it was like and that's what it was.
269
00:17:24,519.9945 --> 00:17:30,489.9955
No, but, not sure what all this Talk is about him picking out the ring.
270
00:17:31,349.9955 --> 00:17:32,909.9955
Don't know where that's coming from.
271
00:17:33,149.9955 --> 00:17:34,919.9955
I'm gonna always pick out my ring.
272
00:17:34,949.9955 --> 00:17:38,449.9955
As soon as you said, oh, we're talking about when we're talking about like getting married.
273
00:17:38,449.9955 --> 00:17:38,489.9945
Oh, yes.
274
00:17:39,109.9955 --> 00:17:42,619.9945
I'm going ring shopping because I'm You, yes.
275
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As soon as the conversation began about Marriage and like just hinting at that you were like, Oh, I'm calling my mom to go green shop.
276
00:17:51,934.9955 --> 00:17:57,324.9955
But I do think that the three options was good because it's like these, any of these would be really nice.
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And I don't know if you know y'all are into that, but don't let no man pick out no ring for you.
278
00:18:04,654.9965 --> 00:18:05,64.9945
No ma'am.
279
00:18:05,154.9965 --> 00:18:06,214.9965
You got to wear it.
280
00:18:06,214.9965 --> 00:18:06,854.9965
It's on your finger.
281
00:18:07,164.9955 --> 00:18:11,284.9955
If you like that, then maybe, maybe she likes that or he or she likes that.
282
00:18:11,284.9955 --> 00:18:12,764.9955
But for me, no.
283
00:18:12,824.9955 --> 00:18:15,124.9955
You needed to make sure it fit your hand.
284
00:18:15,374.9955 --> 00:18:16,244.9955
Exactly.
285
00:18:16,254.9955 --> 00:18:20,574.9669286
And how did I do out of the three rings? I mean, this was my favorite pick.
286
00:18:20,574.9669286 --> 00:18:21,214.9383571
it's beautiful.
287
00:18:21,214.9383571 --> 00:18:23,625.0087857
Because I just know, you know, when you know, you know.
288
00:18:23,775.0097857 --> 00:18:24,435.0097857
Exactly.
289
00:18:24,535.0097857 --> 00:18:25,805.0087857
But it looked good, so.
290
00:18:26,55.0097857 --> 00:18:38,755.0087857
So that was our couple's unscripted card game, and we will be playing a bit more games throughout the episodes like we said, but we are going to go ahead and dive into identifying green flags in a relationship.
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So let's jump into it.
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00:18:41,715.0097857 --> 00:18:56,810.0097857
Alright, so let's talk about And how you identify and if you see him like what are the green flags that you may see us seeing someone and we're talking about not the green flags where they are masquerading as red flags.
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We are talking about actual green flags with substance that you they are vetted and they are.
294
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At the core of value of yours, because if they went against this, it'll be a direct red flag to what you may want out of your partner.
295
00:19:12,345.0092857 --> 00:19:25,10.0082857
So these green flags that we're going to talk about that you can identify in a partner or someone you're with, that you probably should, when you do identify, I think it's good to champion, let your partner know that, Hey, I love this about you.
296
00:19:25,40.0082857 --> 00:19:27,200.0082857
Those small gestures I think can go a long way.
297
00:19:27,300.0082857 --> 00:19:30,770.0082857
Yeah, I think what speaks to me the most is feeling safe.
298
00:19:30,860.0082857 --> 00:19:31,260.0082857
Okay.
299
00:19:31,320.0082857 --> 00:19:35,650.0072857
So feeling safe with your feelings and being able to express yourself.
300
00:19:36,70.0082857 --> 00:19:38,660.0082857
I know just for me and past relationships.
301
00:19:39,320.0082857 --> 00:19:45,440.0082857
I wasn't able to feel like safe with talking about my emotions and really being vulnerable.
302
00:19:45,700.0082857 --> 00:19:58,290.0072857
So if you are able to speak your mind, be emotional and be vulnerable with someone because you feel safe and you feel a sense of security and safety, that's a green flag.
303
00:19:58,490.0072857 --> 00:19:59,30.0072857
Oh, nice.
304
00:19:59,330.0072857 --> 00:20:07,560.0082857
If they communicate openly and they're honest and they stay true to their word and their actions are always like.
305
00:20:07,930.0082857 --> 00:20:08,840.0082857
consistent.
306
00:20:09,400.0082857 --> 00:20:14,560.0082857
If you keep seeing consistency with an action and what they're saying, that's a green flag.
307
00:20:14,750.0082857 --> 00:20:17,240.0082857
Yeah, I think that's, I think those are great green flags.
308
00:20:17,240.0082857 --> 00:20:25,680.0082857
Also, I believe if, like you said, the actions, they follow through with what they're saying, if there's a date scheduled, like y'all commit to that date and they take you out on a date.
309
00:20:25,680.0082857 --> 00:20:26,480.0082857
that's major.
310
00:20:26,540.0082857 --> 00:20:58,470.0082857
and when it comes to these green flags, When you identified a green flag in me for instance What was it for you? what did it do for you? Like when you were like, yo, this is a green flag Did it like make you like fall in love with me? I think it just gave me the reassurance that I need in the relationship to feel safe and secure So I'm not always You know within a green flag I wouldn't be trying to figure out where I was in this relationship.
311
00:20:59,610.0082857 --> 00:21:04,990.0082857
I knew that I was, like, I, I wasn't second guessing the relationship.
312
00:21:05,0.0082857 --> 00:21:07,40.0082857
I wasn't second guessing where we stand.
313
00:21:07,40.0082857 --> 00:21:14,720.0092857
What is this? What are we trying to do here? Where are we going? with you, you had always given me the reassurance, no, I want to pursue you.
314
00:21:14,730.0092857 --> 00:21:15,930.0092857
This is what I want.
315
00:21:16,260.0092857 --> 00:21:17,870.0092857
this is the path that we're on.
316
00:21:17,870.0092857 --> 00:21:28,745.0092857
So when you see somebody Giving you the reassurance and setting things up for you guys and you see that there's a clear path.
317
00:21:29,525.0092857 --> 00:21:31,385.0092857
that's a green flag because you're not questioning.
318
00:21:32,245.0092857 --> 00:21:36,165.0092857
They give you a sense of clarity, which I think is a green flag.
319
00:21:36,165.0092857 --> 00:21:40,835.0082857
If someone can provide you a sense of clarity, a sense of, like you said, understanding a path.
320
00:21:40,925.0092857 --> 00:21:45,505.0082857
I will guess I can kind of relate it to, I'll use a little segment of us real quick.
321
00:21:45,575.0082857 --> 00:21:52,455.0082857
when you in a long distance portion, I had to commit to come and see you, I gave you the reassurance.
322
00:21:53,120.0082857 --> 00:21:57,770.0082857
in our relationship by being, we put that date on the calendar.
323
00:21:58,170.0082857 --> 00:22:00,530.0082857
Hey babe, I'm coming down this time in March.
324
00:22:00,890.0072857 --> 00:22:01,520.0072857
I was there.
325
00:22:01,530.0082857 --> 00:22:03,540.0082857
And I believe that's the type of reinsurance.
326
00:22:03,570.0082857 --> 00:22:07,640.0082857
That's the type of green flag that you should see from someone who wants to be your partner.
327
00:22:08,0.0082857 --> 00:22:10,20.0072857
especially it's not only short term, but long term.
328
00:22:10,200.0062857 --> 00:22:16,360.0072857
You saying how you had to follow through and you gave me the reassurance by coming down in the long distance, you were showing up.
329
00:22:16,740.0072857 --> 00:22:19,890.0072857
So you're how you are.
330
00:22:20,330.0072857 --> 00:22:24,780.0072857
Speaking in the relationship and the things that you're saying have to match up to the action.
331
00:22:24,780.0072857 --> 00:23:03,689.9082857
I mean, we all know that that's true So I see I've seen in my friends relationships or people that I know The action or the words ain't matching up to the action so if If the action is there, okay, we got, it's matching up, but if he's talking that talk, talk, talk and doing all that love bombing or we're not seeing any action, if it's a lot of love bombing and there's no action, that's not a green flag, but if the green flag is talking the talk and walking the walk, so don't just talk about it, but be about it.
332
00:23:03,740.0082857 --> 00:23:08,380.0082857
He says, Hey, I like to do, give you flowers and he showed with flowers type of thing.
333
00:23:08,410.0082857 --> 00:23:08,910.0082857
Right.
334
00:23:09,180.0082857 --> 00:23:17,20.0082857
Or if it's, I'm going, we are going to hang out and we're going to go to dinner, I'm going to pick you up.
335
00:23:18,435.0082857 --> 00:23:19,755.0082857
I don't want to hear about this.
336
00:23:19,825.0082857 --> 00:23:25,125.0082857
Oh, I got off work late and I was in a meeting and Oh, I can't do that.
337
00:23:25,365.0082857 --> 00:23:25,905.0082857
No, no, no, no.
338
00:23:25,905.0082857 --> 00:23:37,615.0082857
No, you need to have things in place and in line I know that things happen, but if that is the consistent thing in Your actions are not Aligning with what you said.
339
00:23:37,705.0082857 --> 00:23:40,365.0082857
No, but if they do, it's a green flag.
340
00:23:40,385.0082857 --> 00:23:41,95.0082857
Yes, definitely.
341
00:23:41,95.1082857 --> 00:23:42,525.0082857
I think it is.
342
00:23:42,525.0082857 --> 00:23:42,845.0082857
Yeah.
343
00:23:43,105.0082857 --> 00:24:04,785.0082857
Also, I believe, you can tell that the person you with you are in a green flag type of situation or you are in a very Partnership is like when you say earlier you have in conversations and it may get tested or heated and instead of them deflecting or projecting, they able to sit back, take accountability, apologize.
344
00:24:04,815.0092857 --> 00:24:09,55.0082857
And then here we go again with the word able to adjust the action accordingly.
345
00:24:09,405.0082857 --> 00:24:11,665.0082857
Those are also green flags.
346
00:24:11,665.0082857 --> 00:24:18,690.0092857
I think, I'm sorry, not sorry, I've said this before, but I think a lot of people have said this before in regards to nice guys finish and last.
347
00:24:18,690.0092857 --> 00:24:22,170.0092857
Well, there has been a sense of that.
348
00:24:23,495.0092857 --> 00:24:33,845.0092857
If you identify those green flags and those nice guys, women, like you can't be poopooing on it because you can't run to that red flag and expect green flag behavior.
349
00:24:33,855.0092857 --> 00:24:47,585.0092857
Like, no, like it just not like, and so for the people who are green flag people who do have a high moral compass, who do carry themselves the right way, who are for the people who are chivalrous and can.
350
00:24:47,820.0092857 --> 00:24:59,780.0082857
Whole conversation who exudes what the green flags on what a good partner is continue to be that because for those people who can't identify who you are, that's their loss, so don't change your way.
351
00:24:59,800.0092857 --> 00:25:05,164.9092857
Don't be a walking red flag because someone didn't want to accept the green flag that you are.
352
00:25:05,655.0092857 --> 00:25:06,15.0092857
Right.
353
00:25:06,25.0092857 --> 00:25:14,375.0092857
Because a lot of people would eventually get scorned and you start feeling hurt and then you start, and you would change because people didn't appreciate you.
354
00:25:14,375.0092857 --> 00:25:21,965.0087857
But no, you are who you are and keep being that green flag because when the right one comes around, Hey, it's going to be worth it.
355
00:25:22,275.0087857 --> 00:25:35,712.9495857
For me, a green flag that you had is when, is like your ability to like, you're very like, like very mothering in a way like you can really be like.
356
00:25:36,63.0495857 --> 00:25:53,8.0505857
Oh my baby and that's that's warms your heart like you can you very like you touchy and like those are green flags those affirmation things are green flags i think we have a good symbiosis in regards to our love language and how we kind of We are energy together.
357
00:25:53,8.0505857 --> 00:25:54,298.0505857
So I thought those are green flags.
358
00:25:54,298.1505857 --> 00:26:02,658.0495857
I think, I have identified in you just one that's coming up in my mind is peace being at peace.
359
00:26:02,668.0505857 --> 00:26:11,548.0495857
So when you feel stress or you have anxiety or you've just had a long day, if you can call your partner.
360
00:26:11,928.0505857 --> 00:26:15,948.0505857
and feel a sense of peace and calmness, that is a green flag.
361
00:26:17,568.0505857 --> 00:26:28,148.0510857
That's as green as you can get because you're going to them seeking that peace and that warm hug, that warm sensation, that warm feeling, and you guys can vent and talk together.
362
00:26:28,148.0510857 --> 00:26:33,608.0510857
That is an extreme green flag that you should look at and say, hell yeah, check that off.
363
00:26:34,43.0510857 --> 00:26:42,273.0500857
He's calling me because he, and he's calling me to vent or tell me about his day and what he's going through because he feels peace and he feels safe with you.
364
00:26:42,533.0510857 --> 00:26:42,583.0510857
Yes.
365
00:26:42,973.0510857 --> 00:26:54,378.0510857
So just for me, when I'm in a situation or when I'm in an area where I'm feeling overwhelmed and I'm with Niles, I'm like Just talk to me real quick.
366
00:26:54,838.0510857 --> 00:26:56,438.0510857
I need you because you're my peace.
367
00:26:56,798.0510857 --> 00:26:59,358.0510857
And I've said that multiple times, you are my peace.
368
00:26:59,358.0510857 --> 00:27:03,928.0510857
I come home to peace and to a calm environment.
369
00:27:04,18.0510857 --> 00:27:23,813.0510857
Watch out how they handle stress and conflict and frustrating situations because an individual with that green flag is going to bring you peace and calmness and is not going to heighten your nerves or make you feel anxious.
370
00:27:24,203.0510857 --> 00:27:29,83.0510857
So look out for, feeling calm through your body instead of feeling tense.
371
00:27:29,483.0510857 --> 00:27:37,733.0510857
Green flag is indicators or characteristics that you see in someone that are, that align first with your moral and your values.
372
00:27:37,983.0510857 --> 00:27:44,813.0510857
and there are things that you expect out of a partner and They meet those or exceed those expectations.
373
00:27:44,853.0510857 --> 00:27:46,833.0510857
and they do it without trying naturally.
374
00:27:46,883.0510857 --> 00:27:48,353.0510857
So those are green flags, I think.
375
00:27:48,353.0510857 --> 00:27:58,572.9510857
So if someone is naturally carrying into the point to where they are attentive listeners and you can talk and vent to them and then you can communicate with them, I think those are.
376
00:27:58,813.0510857 --> 00:28:09,773.0500857
Attributes to someone who may be a green flag type of person, or are they able to, they schedule things out and plan things accordingly, if you are a man of your word or a woman of your word, that's a green flag characteristic.
377
00:28:11,173.0510857 --> 00:28:41,763.1135857
Just being just a high moral, moral compass person, like having a good moral compass and not trying to get over on people, not being scammed, a scammy type of person, like not looking at a relationship as a, just an opportunity to make money or to live off someone like you, a green flag person, someone who wants to get in a relationship as a partner and have a family, And whatever sense of a family is that makes sense to y'all.
378
00:28:42,13.1135857 --> 00:28:58,623.1125857
So I think, you as your own individual and own person should really sit down with yourself and, and go through a checklist of like, yo, what are the green flags that I'm looking for in a partner, just like you should have a list of the red flags that you are looking out for.
379
00:28:58,623.1125857 --> 00:29:14,993.2125857
What are the green flags? Because sometimes we may overlook those green flags and you may, Miss out on something that's really, really good just because you wasn't aware of someone hitting those markers that you really, really need and not the things that you think that you want.
380
00:29:15,33.2125857 --> 00:29:24,613.2115857
Yeah, notice if your partner or your current partner or your partner that you want to get involved with demonstrates those qualities that we've been talking about today.
381
00:29:24,643.2115857 --> 00:29:26,413.2115857
So check those.
382
00:29:26,763.2125857 --> 00:29:32,213.2125857
write those down and they got that, they got that, they got that, then, then you might be on the right path.
383
00:29:32,453.2125857 --> 00:29:47,433.2125857
So, it's all about creating peace in your life and having peace in your relationship and getting along and creating something that's gonna propel forward and creating a foundation is what you are striving to get at.
384
00:29:47,443.2125857 --> 00:29:50,453.2125857
All that other foolish nonsense, you know.
385
00:29:51,318.2125857 --> 00:29:52,958.2125857
I ain't talking about all that.
386
00:29:52,998.2125857 --> 00:29:55,358.1125857
Yeah, we don't have time for that.
387
00:29:55,358.2125857 --> 00:29:57,98.2125857
That ain't the key to success.
388
00:29:57,98.3125857 --> 00:30:00,658.2125857
No, no, we are here for the key to successful relationship.
389
00:30:00,938.2125857 --> 00:30:03,368.2125857
We want happiness, we want love, we want good energy.
390
00:30:03,728.2125857 --> 00:30:04,568.2125857
That's what we're here for.
391
00:30:04,708.2115857 --> 00:30:09,198.2125857
But also, look in the mirror and see what green flags that you possess.
392
00:30:09,488.2125857 --> 00:30:18,768.2125857
And are you a person who are actually worthy of a relationship, of being in a certain dynamic, Because I think a lot of time, we like to look at other people.
393
00:30:19,638.2125857 --> 00:30:21,948.2125857
it start with self everything start with self.
394
00:30:21,948.2125857 --> 00:30:29,568.2125857
if you are around a, in a bunch of relationships and dynamics, there are red flag dynamics in situations, you're probably a red flag also.
395
00:30:29,618.2125857 --> 00:30:30,968.2125857
birds with feather flock together.
396
00:30:30,968.2125857 --> 00:30:39,578.2125857
So change your ways and identify what are your green flags? What are your strong suits? What are your high characteristic traits? Right? Lean into that.
397
00:30:39,818.2125857 --> 00:30:42,98.2125857
Right? Be that and shine bright in those lights.
398
00:30:42,468.2125857 --> 00:30:49,88.2125857
because I think, green flags roll with green flags, if you had a lot of red flags, I wouldn't be with you.
399
00:30:49,88.2125857 --> 00:30:56,348.2125857
And I'm sure if I had a lot of red flags that red flags, I wouldn't be with him either.
400
00:30:56,348.2125857 --> 00:30:57,568.2125857
But yeah, that's a good point though.
401
00:30:57,568.2125857 --> 00:31:01,448.2130857
You got to look, you got to look within and you got to see what else, what you have going on.
402
00:31:01,448.2130857 --> 00:31:03,358.2130857
I know throughout these episodes, like I talk about.
403
00:31:03,778.2130857 --> 00:31:29,393.2130857
A lot about my journey and what I've been through and what I've learned and how I have grown over these eight years So yes, it's always great to look within and look at yourself and see what you can do to improve Or is it something that you're doing? to Have these relationships not propel forward, because you have some of the you don't you're you don't even have the green flags Like you might have some of the red flags.
404
00:31:29,403.2130857 --> 00:31:36,143.2130857
So it's not it's not a blame game it's just really looking within and trying to figure out like What works and what doesn't work.
405
00:31:36,183.2130857 --> 00:31:39,463.2130857
Yeah, I feel like our relationship grow as I grow.
406
00:31:39,973.2130857 --> 00:31:46,933.2130857
So if I continue to grow and work on myself and be a better version of myself, the same thing can be said for my relationship.
407
00:31:47,13.2120857 --> 00:31:47,543.2120857
Cheers.
408
00:31:47,543.2130857 --> 00:31:47,953.2130857
One last.
409
00:31:47,973.2130857 --> 00:31:49,403.2130857
Yeah, let's cheers.
410
00:31:49,653.2130857 --> 00:31:50,953.2130857
I'm almost out of wine.
411
00:31:50,963.2130857 --> 00:31:52,863.2120857
Listen, I'll drink a lot of wine.
412
00:31:52,863.2130857 --> 00:31:55,23.2130857
A lot of wine on these episodes.
413
00:31:55,23.3130857 --> 00:31:57,563.2130857
All right, y'all gotta get through.
414
00:31:58,13.2130857 --> 00:31:59,383.2130857
It's wine all day, every day, baby.
415
00:31:59,403.2130857 --> 00:32:01,193.2130857
That's how I, that's how I get through.
416
00:32:01,738.2130857 --> 00:32:09,648.2130857
So I will be pouring up after we get off here more, but we thank you guys so much for joining us.
417
00:32:09,898.2130857 --> 00:32:15,628.2130857
Again, please check out couples on the street, street talks where I get to interview some people on the streets and me too.
418
00:32:15,878.2120857 --> 00:32:25,338.2130857
Hey, well, we make an appearance just so you know, it is going to be me and Niles hosting couples on the streets and we do a back and forth.
419
00:32:25,338.2130857 --> 00:32:26,128.2130857
So it might be him.
420
00:32:26,128.2130857 --> 00:32:26,658.2130857
It's going to be me.
421
00:32:26,658.2130857 --> 00:32:27,78.2130857
It's going to be him.
422
00:32:27,88.2130857 --> 00:32:27,498.2130857
It's going to be me.
423
00:32:27,778.2130857 --> 00:32:28,768.2130857
It's going to be a little ping pong.
424
00:32:29,78.2130857 --> 00:32:29,748.2130857
So.
425
00:32:30,48.2130857 --> 00:32:31,268.2130857
Yeah, look out for it.
426
00:32:31,268.2130857 --> 00:32:33,518.2130857
Don't run from us on when you see us on the streets of Atlanta.
427
00:32:33,528.2130857 --> 00:32:34,38.2130857
We're coming.
428
00:32:34,38.2130857 --> 00:32:40,18.2130857
Okay, please make sure you guys like, comment, share and subscribe to our YouTube channel.
429
00:32:40,28.2130857 --> 00:32:41,328.2130857
Couples unscripted.
430
00:32:41,708.2130857 --> 00:32:49,98.2140857
You can find us on instagram, threads, tiktok and facebook all at couples unscripted.
431
00:32:49,348.2130857 --> 00:32:52,108.2130857
We are on all podcast platforms.
432
00:32:52,138.2130857 --> 00:32:56,998.2130857
So if you'd like to watch us on a podcast streaming platform, you are more than welcome to.
433
00:32:56,998.2130857 --> 00:32:57,978.2130857
We are on there.
434
00:32:58,213.2130857 --> 00:33:11,23.2120857
Monday we are going to be dropping another episode which is going to continue our every Monday drop so please check out our episode on Monday and we thank you guys so much for tuning in with us.
435
00:33:11,93.2120857 --> 00:33:13,343.2130857
We will see you on the next episode.