Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Coming up next on episode one of Couples Unscripted.
And then I was like, okay, well then come home, but then he was gonna go back out with a guy that he met, and I'm like, this is bullshit.
I mean, in my head at the time, I was like, this is bullshit.
Yeah, but I, I never came, so what happened, I was out.
I had already met, you know, our homie, like I want to say, but I already met them.
(00:22):
.999And I was going out to meet them, but they was, I think at a restaurant or whatever.
And then that's when them, them ladies was around on the resort and they was like, they tried to holler at me.
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What's up guys.
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It's Ayana Niles and we got another episode of Couples Unscripted.
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Today we are going to be talking about.
Traveling.
And we are here to talk about vacationing with your partner.
And the, not really the do's and don'ts of vacationing, but just the importance of taking vacations and Things that we did on some of our travels in the states and also outside the states.
I will say thank you for filling up my glass of wine.
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I am a red wine drinker.
So cheers, cheers.
Cheers.
.999So yeah, I might be, drinking some wine.
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Lots of wine during these episodes.
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Gotta get a little loose out here, just to keep the flow going.
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So kickstart things and get things going.
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What would be out of all the vacations we have had in the States, the United States and also abroad, which one ranks number one to you? Let's see.
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I think we've had some killer experiences traveling.
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So me and him always have a good time regardless of where we're going to be.
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Listen, we're gonna be lit, we gon be drunk, We gon be making some friends.
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You know what I'm saying? We're gonna make some friends.
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So, I think our first trip was Jamaica.
That was our honeymoon.
That was.
My first international trip was Jamaica.
First time I got a passport.
First time I got a stamp.
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So, I mean, traveling, of course, domestically.
.999But for me, when I hear travel, I'm going out of the states.
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Jet setter.
to answer Niles question, I feel like Belize, and when we went to Belize, It was such a freeing experience because we chose the route that was not all inclusive.
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.999We had booked a hostel and then we booked a condo.
.999it was a beautiful experience and it was so freeing.
But I think the country is freeing in itself as well.
.0005if you do go to Belize, which is definitely in our top, It is very freeing and you don't need an all inclusive.
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So there are countries where you need all inclusives and there are countries where you don't need all inclusives.
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I don't think that was the country that you needed to have an all inclusive.
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We enjoyed it.
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I think that we saved a bunch by not going to an all inclusive, but it depends on the country.
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Yeah, I would say for me, Belize is the number one out of all of our international trips, actually all of our trips, even domestically and internationally, Belize was the top trip and I, it holds just a fondness over my heart.
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Like you said, we didn't do all inclusive and it just felt refreshing.
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It was an amazing experience.
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The people there was amazing and beautiful.
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Hopkins, Belize, if you haven't been to Belize, go to Hopkins.
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That is the place to be.
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I saw people that looked like my aunties, my uncles, my cousins.
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I saw someone that looked like me.
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I was like, is that my twin? My doppelganger? It Was an amazing experience and we was able to really touch the ground, touch the earth and connect with the people and get a lot of great connections that I believe still kind of hold true still to this day, what two and a half, three years later.
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So it was a definitely an amazing experience for me.
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Jamaica was awesome too, but it also.
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It was due to our honeymoon.
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So like it was a combination of the experience, but Jamaica was awesome.
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That was an all inclusive.
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So we stayed on the resort, but we did get off the resort everywhere.
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We traveled internationally when we did stay on a resort, we still managed to get off the resort and do our own thing with the locals.
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if we're going to go in an all inclusive, we just need it because the R& R is great when you ain't got to do nothing, lift your finger.
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But there is something to getting off the resort and just getting with the people within the countries that you visit.
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How should someone go about planning a travel with a significant other? Non honeymoon, just a regular, Hey, we want to.
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Pick a date on a map on a calendar and then go like no extra missing on a birthday.
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Nothing special Just going on a vacation.
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I definitely think I mean It depends on the type of people like either you're gonna plan like somebody's got a plan there's always gonna be somebody's gonna be the planner and then somebody who is gonna go with the plans I am the planner Niles is going to go with the plans So Yeah, I think obviously there has to be somebody who's the planner and then Go from there and build, create a budget and figure out what the budget's gonna be.
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Because I know when we went to Belize We didn't plan any excursions.
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We just saw where things would take you.
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I think when we went to the DR we did the same thing like we stated an all inclusive and then we We're like, what are we going to do? So either you can plan that ahead.
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But I think the most important is getting those flights and getting where you're going to stay.
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Yeah.
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Getting a flight early or when there's a good price is probably one of the most important thing to do when it comes to traveling.
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Because once you get the flight, you feel like, yo, I have to go.
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So getting those flights, especially when you get a deal, it really keeps you like on track.
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To make sure you make that trip from my vantage point.
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So yeah, I definitely believe the planner, which is you is important for the planner to have certain things in order and hit those benchmark to ensure that we're going on this trip.
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No ifs, ands, and buts about it.
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And specifically for the hostel, because we know you stayed in a hostel.
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So how was the hostel experience for you and for the people who may have some skepticism in regards to staying in a hostel? And it may be a little, because you watch the movie Hostel and think, oh, if I stay in a hostel, they're going to snatch me up.
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That's not the experience.
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So how was the hostel experience for you? And how, I guess, you know, sell it to other people who may be afraid of doing a hostel.
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I will say that the person who introduced me to hostels, is my bestie from Portugal, and you know who you are, Rita, my love.
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We love you, Rita.
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And, not even specifically hostiles, but she kind of introduced this play on, or just the reality of traveling, but just travel.
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Don't get so caught up in the glamour of traveling and just to enjoy the country.
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And sometimes I got so caught up in like the glamour and and looking cute and getting dressed up.
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And hey, we love that.
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I'm not taking away from any of the baddies out there who want to make sure they look real nice, real cute, and go out.
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and they're all inclusive, which I want to do, but I think that there's beauty on the other side.
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And I think you can do both, because I've done both.
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Yeah.
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I think, when I met her, and when she was telling me Oh, she's traveled the world, and she's been here, and she's been there.
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I'm like, how the frick are you doing this, with going to these beautiful resorts? I'm not going to these resorts.
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I'm frickin I'm, I'm staying in a hostel.
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So, when I studied abroad, I did.
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Stay in some hostels.
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So I do think don't sleep on the hostels because hostels you can have Private rooms and we had a private room with a private bathroom.
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So there are specific experiences Yes, hostels are not gonna have air conditioning.
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We you had to pay additional for that we didn't and we didn't and because we because there was so much airflow we didn't have to and Yeah, you're not going to have some of the luxury and all this other stuff but like it's a humbling experience It's beautiful and that hostel it was crash pad in belize, so I highly recommend it.
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So I think check into the hostels.
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We also stayed into a condo So at we were in hopkins and then we moved to placencia And we were in a condo.
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So That condo was just a little bit more elevated to the hostel, it was beautiful, and we had a pool set up, and it was really nice, we had a restaurant next door, so look at your different options, all inclusive.
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Condo, hostel, hotel, compare prices.
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If price is not an issue for you and you want to live luxury, baby, live luxury all day every day.
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Live it.
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But there is something about the humbleness of being in a hostel or in a condo or something where you can get a taxi and Find your own means of transportation.
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It's fun.
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Yeah.
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Cause like in Belize, the main thing we did there was like really come one with, it felt like the Belizean people in the area that we were around.
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We was riding.
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Yo, Ayana was, is a trooper.
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We was riding our bikes to the store, riding our bikes down to the village.
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We was on it.
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Backpacking.
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It was.
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Really a liberating feeling by traveling like that and experiencing a vacation in that sense.
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And on the flip side, like Jamaica, the all inclusive, we went with the mindset like, yo.
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We was going to chill the fuck out.
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Period.
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Period.
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Period.
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It was a long build up from you graduating, us getting married, us moving to Atlanta.
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So when we got to our honeymoon, it was like, we need some R and R and it was an amazing experience.
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We met a lot of great couples in Jamaica.
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It was, yeah, it was a, it was an amazing experience.
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We got to mingle, interact.
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So the resort, the all inclusive resort do have a lot of great things that go into it.
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And of course you pay a little bit extra, but you get a return on it by being able to get everything that you need.
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Quote unquote at that resort.
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And so that was a great experience as well.
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I, I do like them both.
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I think it depends on the country that you go to in regards to how you really want to experience.
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Cause I am aware that not every country I will want to go and probably.
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Like really ingratiate myself within that country.
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And there may be other countries where I feel more comfortable Doing that and there may be places like I just want to go all inclusive and not have to worry about a darn thing I was gonna say like what hurdles because sometimes like you were with your partner all the time and there can be some like Things that, you guys are on vacation, right? You're there to have a good time.
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But there are like little obstacles within this damn vacation that it's like we might not be communicating properly or like maybe you want to go over and you found these friends and you want to hang out with and then I want to go back to the house or Like, how do you handle those misc, not communications, but those obstacles with I want to do something else, and you don't want to do it, but we still want to be together, but you want to do something else, and I don't want to do that.
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Like the DR, I think, you end up getting a little tired at one point in time during the vacation, and you went and crashed.
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And I'm like, I'm going to go out and hang on a resort, and I end up mingling and meeting some great people that I'm still in contact with today.
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it's a give and take, because.
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Yes, I do want to spend the time with you but I also want to enjoy and experience the vacation.
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I believe the best way to go about it is both parties have to be understanding that we are on vacation.
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We are here to disconnect and to experience something new.
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So it do have to be a give and take.
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I do believe that you were.
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of Hey babe, I'm tired.
I really can't do it.
Just go out, but come back at a decent time.
Like fellas, if you out, don't come back into the room at two o'clock in the morning.
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Sorry, not sorry.
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Even though I think I came back in the room at two o'clock in the morning.
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Yeah, I did.
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And he pissed me off.
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And my next question was like, can you make friends? When you guys have, when you guys say, said that you guys are going on the vacation together, is it okay to make friends on that vacation knowing that if you make friends, then you're taking that time away from your partner? So I think with us, whenever we go on our vacations, we don't go for two or three days.
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We're going for seven days minimum.
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So we there for so long.
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So me making friends.
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don't really take away from our experience together.
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We've already had things planned that we're going to do.
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We already had reservation book for the restaurants.
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We were going to go eat.
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We had plans to get off the resort and like on Dr to visit other cities around the resort.
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So those are already pre planned.
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So I felt as if me or if it was you meeting new friends there at the resort, All it can do is enhance the experience because we're going to have our time together.
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We're going to be locked in together.
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Someone with some dope energy can come around and if they bring different conversation, if they are in a relationship as well.
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So it may be I can connect with the man and you can connect with the lady and it just.
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It makes for a better experience.
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So I do believe it, it very depending on the situation and y'all relationship and how y'all feel.
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Cause sometimes if you go on vacation, some people go on vacation to reconnect to recenter and stuff.
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So if that's the case.
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Don't be trying to make no friends and I will say there's an I'm I would consider myself an extrovert at times Introvert, sometimes I'm gonna I'm gonna say a little toss between the two.
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Yeah, so when he went out it actually kind of pissed me off Because I was sleepy and I wanted to sleep and I was waiting for him to get back But then he didn't come back and then like you did call me to check in but You didn't, did you come back and then you left? No, I know you know you you just called me and told me like oh Yeah, these girls were hitting on me like Yeah, yeah, cuz some some some of these beaches was hitting on him.
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Yeah, and then he told me about it And then I was like, okay, well, then come home.
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But then he was gonna go back out with a guy that he met.
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And I'm like, this is bullshit.
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I mean, in my head at the time, I was like, this is bullshit.
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Yeah, but I, I never came.
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So what happened? I was out.
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I had already met, our homie.
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I want to say, but I already met them.
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And I was going out to meet them.
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But they was, I think, at a restaurant or whatever.
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And then that's when them, them ladies was around on the resort.
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And they was like, they tried to holla at me.
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And I like, I don't want that.
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I got, if I called you, I like, I like, yo, well, I like, I can't, I can't find the homies, who we who we both had connected with earlier that day.
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I said, I can't find them.
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I said, I think I'm gonna head back.
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And in the midst of starting to head back, lo and behold, there they are.
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And they were like, Oh, what's up? So he went to the little We went and got some more, we just continue to hang out, have conversations and all that.
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So I was expecting just to have like maybe a 15, 30 minute conversation.
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And that thing turned to an hour and 15 and I was like, Oh shit, I need to go back.
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that's how that kind of transpired.
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But yeah, as soon as that happened though, with the, with those ladies, I definitely called my wife real quick.
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And it was like, yo, FYI, you would never believe what just happened to me.
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I know, I was like, who? Two girls wanted to do what? They were trying to take him home.
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They were trying to take me home.
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Wherever it was, but they was going to get a rude awakening in that hotel room, because I was in there.
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But I think there was a point where I was like why isn't he with me in the room? We can be on the balcony.
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We could be chilling.
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We'd be laid out.
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We could be cuddling but he's out I actually did get pissed and like you were out with whomever and then when I woke up and I was like, oh no I'm really Happy that he was able to get out and talk to some people and I think sometimes you have to take yourself out of the equation Because in that moment I said, I'm pissed off.
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He's oh and I remember telling him to myself I said we are not here to make friends We are here to connect and be together and like I was like we are not here for that But that's actually not true because I understood that.
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Like I know like you now and you making friends here and like you just having a circle.
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I was like, I felt wow, that's nice for him to put himself out there cause it's something different for you.
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And it's something that she actually want me to do more here at home is to put myself out there and connect more and make more friends.
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So what I actually did, I took that experience.
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And I've been applying it now here to like, all right, Niles, I am, like you said, I'm an extrovert introvert.
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I'm kind of like you, but getting married and living together and moving to a whole new state and city, I became more of an introvert, the vacation, that last vacation really helped me get back out my shell and be more of my personality of yo, I'm great at meeting with people.
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I'm great at making connections.
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So it did feel really liberating.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Just to be able to connect with multiple people across all age range, across all ethnic backgrounds from different countries and to be like, yo, I'm a cool person.
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people like me, like people love it.
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It was looking for me the next four days, you know? So it was definitely cool.
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But I am definitely mindful though.
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When I go on trips, it's all about, it's all about her.
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Like she is the focal point.
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That's and I do use our vacations and our trips as a moment to recenter and reconnect with my wife.
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it's not really for those other experiences.
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Those other experiences are an added benefit and a plus.
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The main.
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Thing that I want to get out of my vacations and my travels with you is our experiences and us growing and connecting and enjoying it together.
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But we, I think we do have a beautiful relationship where we do give each other the freedom and the bandwidth to connect with other people and to grow.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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I think for me like I'm good on meeting people out like I'm good.
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Listen for my job I'm always meeting people.
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So when I go on vacation We can mingle and mix but like I'm good.
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Yes, so I let Niles have it and usually Niles it's so funny because I'm a very like social person and so And I'm sure ladies, or the guys, like when you're being social, when you're in the place where you live, or you're in the city where you're at, and you can be very social with people, but once you vacation I leave it to him.
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I know that there's a partner that's that's all that person.
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Either she or he or whomever, they deal with that.
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Because, he does with the taxi drivers, he deals with the conversation you get the party favors if we're gonna go there.
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That is the one I can't handle it, and I feel like you use your street smarts To deal with that shit and I'm out, I'm done, like I'm good, but I was using my Spanish though because I have, I do know a little Spanish.
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So I was using my Spanish, which was really fun.
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they were loving that in a DR when she never, she started speaking her Spanish and they was like, and they tried to talk to me and they were like, yeah, get out of here.
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You know, but it was.
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Eating her up oh my goodness.
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So that was actually very that was probably one of the highlights of the trip was when you were speaking to them in their native tongue and y'all was connecting and vibing and seeing How they reacted once you started speaking and their whole demeanor changed and honestly It made me realize like yo, I did myself a disservice by not actually Being better in Spanish because I love how they appreciate the fact that you know The Spanish that you do know.
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And it was definitely awesome.
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But yeah, when we out and about, I am the one that can, I can get the party favors.
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I can find the things and it don't take me long.
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Like they connect and I don't get swindled or hustle.
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Cause I don't play that.
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Like I'm a hustler.
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So you ain't about to get over on me, buddy.
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But there's also the beauty of having this wife here because she is a negotiator.
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I will negotiate with you and I will make sure we get a good price.
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Fellas, it is amazing to have.
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A wife or a significant other on your side who is like stern because in those other countries they appreciate, they be like, Oh, she shot, she called the shots and they don't, they don't argue with that.
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They do not argue with that.
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If I be like, it's her decision.
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It's no more negotiation.
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They don't raise, they actually lower their price when I say she makes the final decision.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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women are the boss.
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Ladies, we know we are the boss, though.
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We are the boss.
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All right, do we have time to get into our travel club? Yes.
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So, okay, this is a lot to take in because it was the bulk of our trip that was very emotional for me.
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So, people, when you guys are out on these all inclusives, some all inclusives have it, some don't.
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Some have the privilege section and Specific clubs that you can be in like a premium club and like the privilege.
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we were kind of bamboozled when we got to the airport.
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When we checked in and then we went into we're about to go into transportation.
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We're about to get our taxi.
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And then they were saying like, oh, you know.
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We'll take you there.
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We'll take you there, but if you want some excursions.
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And we really wanted to go to this island.
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So I was like, okay, cool.
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And so they had a deal and you know me, I love deals.
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I will negotiate with you.
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I love deals.
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So I was like, okay, great.
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So the deal was really good.
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We got the excursion and they're like, we just have, you just, we're going to pick you up from your hotel and then you have to go to this other hotel.
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And I was like, Oh, cool.
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Bad.
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That's easy.
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And then we'll give it to you for a discounted price.
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the price was.
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Very discounted very so I was like, okay bet so we get to the hotel.
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This guy's oh, do you have any excursions line up? I was like, yeah, we do.
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We're going to saw an island.
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He's who'd you get that with? So I told him he's Oh, no, that's another hotel competing long story short.
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They tried to sell you their like, their premium club to be in like a travel club with Hard Rock.
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And so, of course, our hotel that we were at, our all inclusive, is going to want to Sell us.
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Sell us their premium travel package, which we ended up buying.
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Let's just keep it short.
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We did end up buying the premium travel club, but Niall's, If you want to say anything to that, it was very stressful, but we went through a process where we had talked to a guy, we went through it and like we felt comfortable.
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So I think at the end of the day, like we do have a travel club with premium travel club with H10 hotels.
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So initially it like freaked me out for two days.
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Like what the fuck did we just do? Yeah, she initially she was with it and then it hit her and she sat with it and she like, Oh no.
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But then I was like, do we not plan on traveling outside the states again, hopefully within this year? Which the answer is yes.
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Our plan is to try to travel.
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Every year out the States, if it's possible, if we can do it two times a year, we would, and that ultimate goal, work and everything.
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Now, when we went to our resort, we did end up getting their package and I think it was a good deal.
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And I think it's something that is, we will definitely utilize because we have plans to travel outside the States as much as we can.
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And that's the beauty of.
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In a relationship, it's good to plan vacations.
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It's good to get out and have that time, and to get away from your city, get away from your home, and get out your bubble, and experience something new.
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And to continue to have experiences with your significant other.
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And I'm a firm believer You can't really put a price tag on experiences and memories.
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When you look back five to 10 years later, you like, damn, we went there.
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We did this, we did that.
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It's it's worth it.
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And I can honestly say every vacation, every trip that we have went on.
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It has always been worth it, and every time we got back from it, we've gotten closer, our love gotten stronger, and so it's very important to plan those trips with your significant other.
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Domestically, if you can't travel outside the states due to price tag or whatever, hey, take a three hour ride somewhere.
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We did a A weekend getaway one time here in the States just to get up, get out, it's important just to switch it could be like, yo, let's sleep somewhere else for a weekend, so find those things to do with your partner.
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I mean, locally, like locally for his birthday, we just went 25 minutes, maybe 30 minutes down the street.
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To Stone Mountain.
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Yup.
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They had a hot tub.
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And, it was incredible.
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It was, I was like, this is what we should be doing.
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It was a hot tub.
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Change of scenery.
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Change of scenery is really important when it comes to relationships.
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Yes.
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Because if you're cooped up, especially if y'all shacked up, if y'all aren't shacked up then you guys are not seeing each other all the time, but if you guys are shacked up and you guys live together.
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You need to change the scenery facts because you're gonna get bored you're going to so it's good to check locally airbnb and whatever Fine home away airbnb any of those platforms.
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I ain't trying to promote y'all, you know, y'all want me to promote you So any of those platforms check them out a quick weekend get away with your sniffing other it goes a long way Especially just surprising like hey, babe.
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We about to go here And do something different.
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I think it'll go a long way, especially if you have someone that's a planner, they will let them plan it.
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They will love it.
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And for the people who aren't planners, by doing that and showing initiative, trust me, it's kudos in the bank.
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They will not forget that gesture of you, of you actually doing this, planning a trip, even if it's just a two day getaway.
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It can mean so much.
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to your partner just to get out and have that one on one time with them in a different setting, in a different area where y'all can just connect and have y'all time together.
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That's it on traveling.
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I think get out, plan, save the money to travel, whether it is domestic or international.
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There are a lot of deals out there.
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With international travel and I know we didn't get too much into Travel agents, but for me specifically, I don't use travel agents I feel like you can get some deals if you do them on your own and you can absolutely get deals with travel agents But see your options See what works best for you and your budget but have fun plan visit some somewhere different with your partner because We don't have children.
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So I think right now for us is really important is to travel and to get away and to connect and to bond.
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And so, yeah, get out, travel and see the options that work best for you.
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And have some good experiences.
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It's very important to travel and do vacations with your significant other, so get those plans in this year.
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Get out, travel.
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And thank y'all for tuning in to Couples Unscripted.
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You can catch us on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, and all the other platforms.
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And yeah, we'll see you guys next time.
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We thank you so much for tuning in and checking out our relationship show.
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And we will see you on the next episode.