September 24, 2025 • 53 mins
What do you get when a man tries to run across the Atlantic Ocean in a floating hamster wheel?
In this episode, John and Angela kick things off with one of Florida’s finest maritime meltdowns — a man attempting to “jog” to London across the sea in a duct-taped hamster wheel. Then we head straight into Time Cube madness, where one man’s war on science birthed the most chaotic conspiracy website in internet history. Over in the Reddit Rabbit Hole, we explore The Backrooms — an endless, fluorescent-lit horror dimension where geometry, monsters, and your last shred of sanity go to die.
Dipshit Diaries returns with three new criminal masterminds:
-
One used a clear plastic bag as a disguise,
-
One posted selfies with stolen bank money,
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And one left a pizza box with his name and address at the crime scene.
Then, in Weird Shit, we bring you: 🦍 The Nandi Bear, Kenya’s cryptid hyena-beast ☠️ The posthumous execution of Oliver Cromwell 🧟♂️ The Six Million Dollar Man wax corpse discovery 🍖 Issei Sagawa, the cannibal who became a celebrity 🍝 A viral TikTok cold-water pasta war that nearly broke the internet
It’s dumb. It’s bizarre. It’s educational in all the wrong ways. Join us as we keep the dialogue weird.
💬 Stay connected: 🌐 darkdialogue.com ☕ patreon.com/darkdialogue 🕵️ Apply to join the Dark Dialogue Collective 🎙️ Adopt-a-Victim and help solve cold cases
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
John (00:11):
Well help oh, welcome
to another episode of Dark Dialogue Chat.
Shadow chat sessions start shot.
I am your host, John, withthe hopefully another corny.
Apparently another corny.
Intro.
So, Hey, how'd I do tonight?
(00:32):
Angela?
Catherine.
Well good.
So I come up with my task.
Angela (00:37):
So the, the handguns helped a lot.
Thank you.
John (00:42):
Absolutely.
Oh my, I'm have to come up withsomething super clever for the next time.
Wow.
Yeah.
My eyes are watery.
Well, good.
You deserved it and you made fun of methe last time, so, man, I bring, it's.
That's what I do.
So welcome listeners.
This again, the show we talk about.
(01:03):
Strange shit.
Weird shit.
Ditch chips.
All the shit shits andI can't even say shit.
So you still said chat, chat sessions.
Well, we are in for tonight, apparently.
Yes we are.
I'm getting an interesting episode.
Oh, how, how's things going today?
How you doing?
Angela (01:21):
Uh, I was fine until a second ago
John (01:25):
and now,
Angela (01:25):
no, I'm good.
Shrink for air debris over there.
It's a good thing you're, youhave a history of a paramedic
'cause I might need it.
John (01:36):
Well, we'll see if I can keep that up all night.
I'm gonna do my best.
So let's see how I do.
I don't know.
I wrote this episode a little whileago, so it's gonna be interesting.
It's like seeing itall for the first time.
Cool.
So yeah, who knows?
Who knows what we might come up with?
Angela (01:53):
Oh, you're just not gonna get any words outta me.
Just random laughter.
Is that what.
John (01:56):
It's gonna be.
Yep.
Alright, well we can take it.
So you ready to jump into this?
I am.
Start with our strange headlines.
I am.
What is it?
Tell me.
Okay.
The strange headline is Florida ManArrested after trying to cross the
(02:20):
Atlantic Ocean in giant hamster wheel.
Please tell me.
There's a picture.
There's a picture.
There's a picture.
A Florida man was detained by the US CoastGuard after attempting to cross the entire
Atlantic Ocean in a giant hamster wheel.
Is it made from
Angela (02:39):
gas cans?
Yes.
John (02:43):
It was just like a cherry rigged human hamster wheel.
His destination, London, his planoptimism and absolutely zero.
Physics and what may be the most Floridathing to happen in recorded history.
Re Reza Bucci.
(03:03):
Was spotted off the coastof Tybee Island, Georgia.
Inside a bizarre floating contraptionmade of metal bars and buoys designed
like a hamster wheel for humans.
Beluchi told the Coast Guard that heintended to quote, run across the ocean.
To London powered entirely by hislegs and his dreams, their coast
(03:29):
guard, less enchanted by his spirit.
Spent five days negotiating with himbefore finally just arresting him.
This wasn't his first attempt.
He's tried similar stuntsin the past, including Feld
voyages to Bermuda and New York.
This time his wheel was heldtogether with duct tape and prayers,
(03:50):
and not even vaguely seaworthy.
He was charged with obstructionand violating a Captain America
level amount of maritime law.
My take this man looked at the AtlanticOcean and said, yeah, I could jog that.
I admire the delusion.
Most of us can't committo walking to the mailbox.
(04:12):
Meanwhile, this guy is out theretrying to lrp across a hamster.
Moses, I am not.
I am just shocked that hedidn't take a GoPro to his head
and call it a YouTube series.
Angela (04:27):
Okay, my take, yes, I have two of them.
John (04:29):
Go for it.
Angela (04:30):
First of all.
I know people who will watch an episodeof some bullshit on tv just 'cause
they don't wanna look for the remote.
John (04:39):
Yes.
Angela (04:40):
Secondly, I have people who live in this area and how
have you not told me about this?
You have let me down.
You know who you are.
John (04:51):
So at what point does a dream become a felony?
Angela (04:56):
Apparently, duct tape and dreams.
John (04:59):
I really think that it's at that point where I don't care if it's law
enforcement, the National Guard, coastGuard, whoever it is, when they say
something like, get on your knees orget out of your hamster wheel and you
don't do it, bad things are gonna happen.
Angela (05:16):
Yeah.
John (05:16):
So.
I
Angela (05:18):
mean, if you get on your knees in a hamre wheel in the water, it's
likely it'll keep tumbling though.
So, uh.
John (05:25):
I know like at wouldn't at at some point, maybe we just
gotta let Darwin take over.
Mm-hmm.
And be like, well,
Angela (05:31):
yeah.
Part of me was like, how is this illegal?
Just let him
John (05:35):
do his thing.
The shit that makes stuff likethis illegal honestly though, is.
Then these Coast Guard guys have to gowhisk their lives to save this dumb ass
Angela (05:45):
and possibly while they should be saving someone else.
Exactly.
Who actually is
John (05:49):
in trouble.
Yeah,
Angela (05:50):
I get it.
I get it.
John (05:51):
So should we start licensing hamster wheels the same way as we do boats?
I think so, yeah.
I like it.
I mean, what it was the name,the contraption could have been.
Pretty popular, I would say,on like lakes and stuff.
I mean, it looks kind of fun,seaworthy and all that kinda stuff.
It's like those, those giantballs that people cross.
Yeah, those look fun andlike run around in Yeah.
(06:14):
Stuff like that, you know?
So
Angela (06:16):
I would try that.
Not in a vast body ofwater, but maybe in a pool.
Yeah, I don't think the
John (06:21):
Atlantic would be a good place no.
To attempt for of those.
Not
Angela (06:24):
the first time.
At least you gonna get seasonedthat I don't think anytime.
I would think if you got seasonedenough, you could try it.
John (06:31):
I'm pretty sure that there's times crossing the Atlantic that the temperature
inside one of those freaking out probablyget to like 315 or something like that.
And you just boil your brain.
Yes.
Fine.
And not only that, but then well, yougonna be like, pack all your food and
(06:52):
stuff and you're gonna get beat the Yeah.
All your canned food's gonnabeat the shit out of Yep.
You're rolling across the Atlantic.
Angela (06:58):
Yeah, I was wondering about that too.
John (07:00):
So yeah.
Is this performance art or justFlorida's Olympic training program?
Angela (07:05):
I think it's both.
John (07:07):
I know.
And again, another weirdass story outta Florida.
No,
Angela (07:11):
Florida,
John (07:11):
don't know.
And the second
Angela (07:13):
thing having to do with hamster, like I wasn't
already scarred from the first
John (07:20):
time.
He is not gonna let that one go.
No.
All right, well, you readyfor the conspiracy corner?
Yeah.
Let's, let's see what's out there now
that time.
Cube Theory.
Angela (07:36):
Okay.
Is that anything like the InfinityCube I'm constantly playing with?
John (07:41):
I don't think so.
Damnit.
So the Time Cube is one of, one ofthe, in Internet's strangest relics,
a sprawling, nearly indecipherabletheory that every day is actually
four days happening at once.
It's creator.
Gene Ray claimed he was the wisesthuman and that all science, math, and
(08:05):
education systems were a global coverup.
First appearing in the late 1990s,the Time Cube website featured an
aggressive wall of multicolored text,all caps, rants, and bizarre diagrams.
Gene Ray believed each day is broken intofour quadrants, morning, midday, evening,
(08:28):
and night, all happening simultaneouslyat different corners of earth.
He claimed linear time was a lie.
Teachers were brainwashers andtraditional science was a hoax.
Anyone who disagreed was layold, quote, educated, stupid.
He even hosted lectures at universitiesusually to confuse silence.
(08:52):
What started as fringe nonsense gaintraction as a meme, satire, magnet,
and cautionary tale for the dangersof unmoderated internet access.
Some defenders argue it was it.
It was early performance arc. Others sayit was a genuine mental health spiral
that the internet turned into a circus.
(09:15):
Might take ah, yes, four daysin one, because one existential
crisis a day just isn't enough.
The time Cube is like if Einsteindid acid, got bored halfway
through a theory and rage typedthe rest into the a GeoCities page.
I tried reading the whole thing once.
(09:36):
I think my brain rebooted
Angela (09:39):
rage, typed it using T nine.
Yes.
John (09:42):
Yeah, this is true.
Much better.
Yeah.
So do you feel like you've livedfour days in one when your alarm
goes off at 6:00 AM three alarm day?
Yeah, I can relate.
Believe you me.
So,
Angela (09:57):
I mean, it's already Thursday in here.
John (10:01):
I don't even try to keep track of days anymore.
Yeah.
I have no idea what day.
Just remind you.
It's Tuesday.
We should be recording today.
That's exactly right.
Yes.
Thank you for that.
You're welcome.
So should conspiracy theorieshave to pass a breathalyzer
before registering a domain?
Mm-hmm.
I agree.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(10:21):
So what's weirder Time Cubeor the fact that college
professors invited him to speak?
Angela (10:27):
Did they invite him though or did he just kind of barrel his way through?
John (10:31):
Oh no, he actually was speaking, he was like lecturing at universities.
I
Angela (10:35):
think it's the equivalent of when they just roll in the, the video that day.
'cause they just don'thave the curriculum done.
That's probably what it was.
They just needed a break.
John (10:45):
You know, I'm not a big fan of higher education.
Most of our higher education institutions.
Um, I think I. Do a lot of brainwashing.
So, and when I make jokes like, uh,study an underwater basket weaving and
bullshit like that, they actually havethat kind of nonsense at at university.
(11:07):
So it does not at all surprise me thatthey have some whack job like this
in their giving lectures and stuff.
I'm sure he is probably one ofthe more sane that has given some
of the lectures at universities
Angela (11:20):
probably.
John (11:21):
All right.
You ready for the Reddit rabbit hole?
Angela (11:23):
Yeah.
Let's see what Reddit's doing today.
There's no,
John (11:30):
the back rooms.
What began is a creepy photo andshort post about non clipping
out of reality has become a vast,collaborative horror universe.
Welcome to the backrooms, whereendless yellow corridors buzz
(11:51):
under the fluorescent lights,and something is always watching.
The backrooms originated in2019 from a four chan post.
Then quickly spread acrossReddit, YouTube, TikTok, and
game modeling communities.
The premise if reality glitches, youmight fall through no clip style into an
(12:14):
infinite liminal space of damp carpet,yellow walls, and flickering lights.
Redditors expanded themythos level zero, the lobby.
Gave rise to dozens of otherlevels, each with unique rules,
threats, and environments.
Some are icy, others are on fire.
(12:35):
Some loop infinity.
Many contain hostile entities withnames like Smilers and Skin Steelers.
Fans have built interactivemaps, video series 3D game
mods and collaborative wikis.
At this point, the backrooms are parturban legend, part internet improv horror,
(12:57):
and part collective coping mechanismfor people who fear office cubicles.
My take.
I love how the internet turned a slightlyweird carpeted hallway into a metaphysical
prison of ex existential dread.
That's Gen Z horror right there.
Not ghosts, not demons, justfluorescent lighting and moist carpet.
(13:18):
Nothing says it.
Terror like a thermostat stuckat 73 and no visible exits.
Angela (13:25):
Why does the carpet always have to be moist?
Why?
John (13:29):
Probably because it's just so freaking gross.
I dunno.
Very much nastier thanfreaking wet carpet.
I know.
That's what, Ugh.
I'm not a huge fan of carpet in general.
Same, but wet carpet.
Yeah.
So what's scarier?
Haunted houses or eternal officespaces, but no, each hr. Wet carpet.
(13:52):
Wet carpet.
Yeah.
And it's, I just don'tunderstand this shit.
I know.
Don't.
I'm not like internet.
I guess I'm not like Gen Zenough or millennial enough or
Angela (14:03):
It sounds like it's part of the creepy pasta stuff though.
And I did used to listen to that a lot.
So some of it You keep startingthat to sound familiar.
Where
John (14:13):
is this?
I don't know about thisspaghetti you speak of.
What the hell are you talking?
This is like for the thirdepisode you've mentioned.
What is creepy pasta.
Creepy pasta.
What is that?
It's
Angela (14:25):
the brand of stories that.
Tell things like the game, the game aboutthe knocking on the door, like a story
behind that would be a creepy pasta.
There's one I listened to aboutStranger Things would be a creepy
pasta if it was just told online.
John (14:47):
Okay.
Angela (14:48):
So I, but I used to li it's had creepy in the name,
of course I listened to it.
Gotcha.
But.
This one sounded familiar except forit was like you had to pass tests to
get to the second and next levels,and then there was elevators, and you
don't push the series of buttons, oryou'll just never get off the elevator.
(15:11):
Hmm.
Yeah.
John (15:13):
So if you ended up in the back rooms, what's the first thing you'd do?
Scream, cry, or break a ceiling Tile.
I might break something.
Yeah, that sounds I would mostcertainly break something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Without a doubt.
It's like I'm breaking things, man.
Oh hell yeah.
So are the back rooms horror orjust Ikea before opening hours?
Angela (15:37):
Ikea, when they run outta meatballs and people are pissed.
John (15:40):
IKEA has meatballs.
Angela (15:41):
Yeah.
Apparently.
I've never been to one.
I don't
John (15:44):
know.
Oh, so you don't even understandwhat I mean when I say ikea?
No.
Oh, oh, oh.
Are you in for something?
I hate you.
Ikea it.
Angela (15:53):
I'm not in trouble for not having something.
John (15:57):
Okay, so picture, um, but you're a Home Depot.
Okay.
Probably four or five times larger thanany Home Depot you've ever been in.
Okay.
And it's amazed that youhave to go start to finish.
You are not.
You cannot go to aisle three,grab your shit and leave.
(16:20):
In order to go to aisle three, you have togo through aisle one, two, grab your shit
at three, and then go all the way to aisle757 to where you can get to the checkouts.
That is ikea.
You cannot, you've gotta go through thewhole experience to get to the end of it.
The checkout lines, like there isno quick trip to like, gotcha, okay.
(16:46):
But it very much like Home Depot, you'repushing like those big flatbed carts and
loading tons of furniture and shit onas if your girlfriend likes to shop at
IKEA and you're loading all the furnitureand shed up on there and then you gotta
push it through about, I don't know.
I'd say
Angela (17:02):
You said 753 isles?
John (17:04):
Yeah, but in Miles that probably Oh.
Equates to like, I don't know,1800 or something like that.
Angela (17:09):
Okay.
John (17:09):
Yeah.
It's painful.
And you to go home and build it?
Ikea?
No.
The stuff that you brought.
Oh, the, yeah.
No shit.
You do with, with directionswritten in Swedish.
Angela (17:21):
Like the meatballs.
John (17:23):
I don't know about the meatballs, but I do know IKEA is quite
the experience and it does remindme of this back back rooms thing.
And you're not talking meinto wanting to go to lunch.
You need not escape.
You cannot escape.
Angela (17:39):
Well, I've spent many time in,
this probably doesn't match, but inuh, Denver Merchandise Mart before
they closed it in the Vegas market.
That's enough.
That's enough for me.
John (17:52):
All of those have exits or a way to get to, they actually do, yes.
Without going through, but justimagine a big tunnel that was literally
like wall to wall booths exceptfor where you like, like a rat race
two miles following the cheese hasto follow it all the way through.
That's ikea.
(18:12):
Okay.
And you have to push like.
Multiple flatbed cards full of likecheap furniture all the way through.
Angela (18:18):
Where's our nearest ikea?
John (18:20):
I don't know.
Denver has one.
I know that 'cause I've been throughthe godforsaken thing multiple times.
But
Angela (18:26):
that, that would mean that I probably don't have to
go through one for a while.
John (18:30):
Probably not the most popular furniture in Wyoming.
I would, yeah.
It's all like the new agey look.
Shit.
That's not my style.
Gotcha.
But yeah.
Anyway.
You ready for the dip Shit's?
Angela (18:44):
Diary dip?
Yes.
Bring them on.
John (18:53):
Dip Shit diaries.
Dip shit's.
Diary number one, transient bag bandit.
Transparent bag Bandit.
Nice.
A man attempted to rob a conveniencestore wearing a plastic bag on his head.
The flaw.
It was see-through Shockingly
Angela (19:15):
so he could see.
Duh.
John (19:16):
The security footage had no trouble identifying him.
Oh, surveillance footage out of St.
Louis showed the man striding intoa store wearing what appeared to
be a clear plastic grocery bagloosely fitted over his space,
complete with handles still attached.
He demanded cash, brandished apossibly fake weapon, and ran
(19:38):
off with a handful of money.
Within hours, police had anamed an address and a crystal
clear image of his face.
Thanks to the transparentheadgear, even the store clerk
clerk described it as quote, thedumbest disguise I've ever seen.
And this is a job wherepeople try to shoplift whole
turkeys under their hoodies.
(20:00):
I take this man said, let me be bothanonymous and visible from space.
You have to admire the confidenceor pity the oxygen deprivation.
The only way this gets dumber is if helivestreamed the robbery with filters on
Angela (20:19):
the bag was a filter.
John (20:20):
This is true.
So what's the worst disguisethat you can wear for a robbery?
Angela (20:26):
I'm not trying to get any worse than that.
I think that's pretty good.
John (20:30):
I still gotta go with the dudes with the magic marker scribbled on.
Angela (20:33):
Oh, well I forgot about them.
Oh, man.
John (20:36):
I, I really think that that one still beats this one.
And then you
Angela (20:41):
gotta use a banana.
John (20:43):
Yes.
Then you got as a weapon, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So do plastic bags qualify asfashion function, or felony now?
Angela (20:51):
Well, yeah.
Now you're gonna have to have an ID toget plastic bags out of a grocery store.
John (20:56):
I mean, it's crazy because now we have the episode that
aired today, plus this episode.
We've both got criminals thatdecided putting a plastic bag
over their head was a good idea.
Yeah.
And so is there a Darwin Award category?
Yes, please.
Most easily identified by HD footage.
(21:17):
I mean, this guy is such a freakingbozo and yes, this is a real picture
of, that's this casually walking in.
Oh man.
Alright, so dip shit.
Diary number two, the selfie bank robber.
Was he also wearing aplastic bag on his head?
In a shocking twist, a man who robbeda bank was caught not because of police
(21:40):
work, but because he posted selfieswith the stolen cash on Facebook.
Oh my.
His captions basicallyconfessionals, so me.
Meet a Michigan man who robbed abank, got away clean, and then decided
to post a celebratory selfie onlineholding a stack of stolen bills.
(22:04):
He captioned it with phraseslike feeling blessed and money
comes to those who hustle.
Oh man.
Turns out.
Those who hustle also get taggedby their ex-girlfriends and
reported to law enforcement.
Police located him within 48 hours,largely thanks to his social media
feed looking like a rap videostoryboard from a dollar store.
(22:28):
When arrested, he reportedlyasked, how did you find me so fast?
How did you find me so fast, buddy?
You went live during the getaway.
My take.
This guy robbed a bank, then committeddigital assisted suicide by clout.
If your flex ends in in felonycharges, you're not an influencer.
(22:48):
You are a cautionary tale.
I just hope that his next postis hashtag blessed and booked.
So what's worse robbing a bankor tagging yourself at the scene?
I'm gonna go with taggingyourself for 500, Alex.
I mean, it blows my mind how many ofthese stories there are out there,
(23:09):
like dip shit's, like doing dried byshootings and shit and posting it online.
I, I, I we're being taken overby dumb criminals, you know?
I know I said.
I said in one of the previousepisodes, I'm afraid I might
run out of Crypted stories.
I am not at all scared.
I'm gonna run out dipshit diary stories.
(23:29):
I think we could do a dip shit diarythree hour show five days a week and
we would still never run outta money,
Angela (23:39):
man.
So, but you know, all that cash needsto come to the Dark Dialogue Museum.
John (23:47):
Oh, that I agree with.
I'm just saying.
Yeah.
Although visitors mightfind a picture of the case.
Yeah, that
Angela (23:55):
that exhibit might be under construction for a while.
Just saying
John (23:59):
should Facebook come with a criminal alert system?
Like are you sure you wantto Yes, most definitely.
Like, uh, are you sure?
Think twice button.
Pretty sure this is evidence.
So do you think that he made a TikTokVance dance called the Felony Shuffle?
Yep.
Yep.
I mean, I just don't know ifthere's, I don't know, but this
(24:23):
next one, uh, I don't know.
Tonight is a tough race.
I gotta tell you one, two, and three.
So where you at right now?
You got the first one.
Who is the dipshit that usedthe plastic bag on his head?
Then you got this moremoron with the selfies.
(24:44):
So if those two, who's running,who's running in first right now?
Angela (24:48):
I'm gonna go with selfie, dude,
John (24:50):
I think I'm gonna have to too think I'm gonna have to Because
Angela (24:53):
he got away.
John (24:54):
Yeah, he did.
Angela (24:56):
Oh, so
John (24:56):
did the first dip shit though,
Angela (24:58):
but
John (24:58):
for a little while.
Yeah, but, but he.
Could this guy expect
Angela (25:04):
to have gotten away?
John (25:05):
But I, yeah.
I think the point you're making isthis guy would've probably gotten away.
Yeah.
So, okay, but now this bringsus to dip shit diaries number
three, the pizza box trail.
I'm very intrigued.
A man robbed a house and madeoff with electronics, but sealed
his own fate by dropping a pizzabox on his way out on the box.
(25:30):
His name, address, and phone number inPhiladelphia police were investigating
a home break-in when they discovered aDomino's box outside the broken window.
It wasn't from the victim.
It belonged to the burglar.
He had been carrying it on the wayin, possibly as a snack or a prop.
Turns out he ordered pizza rightbefore committing the robbery.
(25:53):
The receipt inside the box includedhis full contact information.
When officers arrived at the listedaddress, the stolen goods were
still visible in his living room.
He was arrested while eatingthe rest of the pizza.
Which, let's be honest, is the mostrelatable part of the whole crime.
Yeah, my take.
(26:14):
Nothing says criminal Mastermind, likeleaving behind a full receipt trail.
This guy committed burglary witha paper trail and Parmesan dust.
He basically left a deliveryconfirmation with GPS coordinates.
Honestly, the only thing missing was aYelp review of the robbery Four stars.
TV was heavy, but great crust.
Angela (26:35):
Yeah.
I hope we got lava cakes.
John (26:39):
Oh, is pizza the most incriminating food?
Sticky fingers.
Cardboard, cho, garlic scents.
Angela (26:46):
Well, DoorDash nowadays has your address on anything,
so it could be anything.
This is true.
John (26:52):
So should dominoes start offering a no crimes during delivery clause?
Yes.
So 30 minutes
Angela (26:58):
or less.
John (27:01):
So do you think he tipped well before ruining his?
I sure freaking hope so.
I would hope so too, because itwas probably with something stolen.
I'm pro.
I'm sure probably was.
So, all right.
So they probably forgothis sauce though, of those
Angela (27:14):
three who wins.
Oh,
I wanna say the middle guy, but it, it'sthe pizza guy is just edging him out.
See just on his tail a little bit.
I
John (27:29):
still have to go with the selfie moron.
That's what
Angela (27:32):
I'm saying.
The selfie guy.
John (27:33):
Oh, that's the one you said,
Angela (27:34):
but the pizza guy is just on his tail.
John (27:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would have to say, see, I thinkI'd rank him selfie dip shit bag
on head dip shit and pizza dipped.
Shit did last I to say I would have to.
Angela (27:54):
I don't know.
John (27:55):
Anyway, we ready for the weird shit Second.
Yeah.
Weird shit.
Weird shit.
Number one Cryptededition, the Mandy Bear.
(28:16):
Interesting.
Okay.
In the forests and grasslands of EastAfrica, locals have reported sightings
of the Mandy bear, a towering hyenalike beast with a sloping back, long
claws, and a taste for livestock.
No one's ever caught one,but sightings keep coming.
Also known as the carrot that, and that'snot like a carrot, it's KRIT, carrot.
(28:42):
I don't know how these ke, but whatever.
It's Africans.
Yeah.
I don't know how pronouncing it,but it's K-E-R-I-T, the ndy bear.
Has been feared in Kenyanfolklore for generations.
It's described as a large predator,possibly standing upright with a
massive head and terrifying claw.
While skeptics suggests that it couldbe a misidentified hyena or an extinct
(29:06):
short face bear believers insist it'ssomething else, a prehistoric survivor
or a completely undiscovered species.
In 20 25, 2 new sightings were reportednear Mount Elgon, where farmers claim
something, quote, not hyena, mauled goatsand left massive claw marks and trees.
(29:28):
Crypto zoologists are once againtrying to secure funding, probably
by rebranding it as a hyena, Bigfoot.
My take.
We're back on the Crypted Safarifolks, and this one's basically
a demonic hyena on steroids.
If the nady bear is real, I'd liketo politely decline any safaris
(29:49):
where the tour guide says, bring yourown flashlight and running shoes.
So would you rather face the AndyBear or a cranky actual bear?
Angela (30:03):
Frankie actual bear.
John (30:05):
Really?
Angela (30:05):
Yeah.
John (30:07):
Not me.
I'll take the Mandy bear solelybecause I got a thing, I got
a bone to pick with crypts.
Angela (30:14):
That's true.
But I thought it was mainly moth, man.
John (30:17):
Well, it started as mainly moth, man.
Now I'm pissed off at all.
Angela (30:20):
Do you think they're friends and he'll just bring the nanny bear with him?
John (30:23):
Probably.
Maybe.
Yeah, you might come in here andfind like blood and gore, all
walls in a room full of cryptids.
I don't know.
Angela (30:30):
He's got a taste for livestock, so you gotta bring
yourself a cow or something in here.
John (30:35):
Okay.
Angela (30:37):
Or a goat in Chuca show up too.
John (30:40):
I just had this image of the goat in Jurassic Park.
Angela (30:44):
Yeah.
That was sad.
John (30:46):
Was it?
It
Angela (30:47):
was
John (30:48):
not when like all the people were eating.
Let go.
I find this, this, Ifind this fascinating.
Angela (30:53):
Yeah.
It hurts me more when animals arehurt than when people are hurt.
John (30:57):
So why are so many cryptics just slightly wrong versions of
animals that we already have?
Angela (31:04):
Yeah, I love that.
The guy had to say, not like a hyena.
John (31:09):
I mean, this, I gotta say is a first for me.
I'm not a big cryptic guy.
I
Angela (31:12):
never heard of this one,
John (31:13):
but this was a first for me.
I'm trying to discover new ones.
I'm doing my best.
So.
Should be.
Well, I do have a friend who's gratefulthat you're putting Cryptics in the shows.
Right on.
Yeah.
I tried to put one in every one.
So should we give the Nay Bear a Rebaa rebrand to improve merch potential?
Angela (31:31):
Yeah.
And put something on itsstomach like a care bear.
I,
John (31:34):
I mean, I gotta say, wow, I haven't thought about Care Bears for a long time.
Angela (31:38):
You're welcome.
John (31:40):
So I gotta see, I was trying to think of
Angela (31:42):
what it would yell
John (31:44):
it.
Kind of looks like Sasquatch
Angela (31:49):
again.
Is that supposed to be a personin front of it for size reference?
John (31:55):
I think so.
I didn't draw the picturewell, no, I got it online.
Angela (32:00):
T-shirt.
You sure you didn't draw that?
Just real quick for guy, for sure.
John (32:03):
Yeah.
So I don't know.
I don't know what to think about this one.
I, and like I said, I'venever heard of it before.
Angela (32:11):
Yeah, I've never heard of it,
John (32:12):
but.
I don't know.
It is interesting and fascinatingthat all cultures share
this, like across the world.
Mm-hmm.
I think I've said that before,but it, it's very fascinating.
Yep.
I don't know if it's somethinginnate in humans or if there's
actually something to it, you know?
Angela (32:30):
Well, there's probably something going on and they have to figure out
a reason for it, that they can accept
John (32:36):
something.
Angela (32:37):
So.
John (32:38):
Alright.
This one's crazy.
Yeah.
Weird shit.
Number two, the historical WTF,the $6 million man wax horse.
Excuse me.
In the 1970s, a Hollywood film crewfilming the $6 million, man discovered
that a fun house dummy hangingin an amusement park wasn't fake.
(33:02):
It was a mummified human corpse.
The incident happened in the New PikeAmusement Park in Long Beach, California.
While prepping a scene in a haunted houseattraction, a crew member accidentally
broke off the arm from what theythought was a prop inside the arm.
Human bone and tissue.
An autopsy revealed the body wasthat of Elmer McCurdy, a 60-year-old
(33:27):
outlaw who died in a shootout in 1911.
After being embalmed, he waspassed off as a curiosity sold
to carnival owners and traveledthrough the sideshows for decades.
By the 1970s, no oneremembered he was real.
He had became a literal museum piece.
Until he disarmed himself.
(33:49):
Quite literally, damn it.
Vincent Price might take.
Imagine thinking you're working withfoam rubber only to realize your elbow
deep in early 20th century outlaw,this isn't just a bad day at work.
It's a full blown, it's a fullblowing resume ending event.
(34:09):
I bet that stagehand doesn't evenflinch when opening closets anymore.
So isn't therapy needed there?
Yeah.
Crazy, crazy crap.
So should amusement parks checktheir mannequins a little more?
I mean, I can understandhow this can happen.
(34:31):
It is just.
Nuts.
And do you remember the six i how
Angela (34:35):
Rill?
That probably sounded whenI said most definitely.
But do I remember what,
John (34:39):
do you remember the 6 million Man?
Angela (34:41):
It's Yeah.
The, the talk of this soundedfamiliar when you started saying it.
John (34:46):
It was such a freaking cool show was so it was, it was $6 million, man.
And the fall guy, do youremember the fall guy?
No.
It was Lee, major Jersey.
Had a really freaking cool,jacked up shimmy pickup.
He was a Hollywood stuntman.
Angela (35:02):
Oh
John (35:03):
yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
And the 6 million, I don't know.
They were both on right about the sametime in my childhood, so I don't know.
They've, I've reminisce, but, sodoes this mean the $6 billion man
technically featured a corpse cameo?
Angela (35:18):
Yeah, most definitely.
John (35:20):
Yeah.
It's freaking nuts.
An
Angela (35:23):
outlaw that apparently you need to talk about.
'cause I've never heard of this guy.
John (35:27):
I didn't either.
I think we should dig deeper, butI don't think he was a murderer.
I think he was a robber.
Still outlaw.
Well, this is true.
Well, he died in a shootout, so Yeah,we might have to get him on the list.
So
Angela (35:45):
we need to know a little bit more about how he ended up covered in wax.
And
John (35:50):
actually it's not that unusual.
It used to happen a lot.
That's why I blame Vince guyswith like criminals and stuff.
They would like.
Put their heads on tourand shit like that.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Like Big Nose, big Nose, Georgia.
Angela (36:05):
Oh yeah.
Big
John (36:06):
Nose.
They come up in aepisode not too long ago.
Yeah.
Angela (36:09):
Yeah.
John (36:10):
Like his head, his skull
Angela (36:11):
and his shoes.
John (36:12):
Yeah.
Angela (36:13):
Yeah.
John (36:13):
And uh.
And Thomas, uh, I'm brain dead tonight.
What language was that?
I don't know my language.
Okay, so what's the weirdest way toaccidentally end up in a TV show?
Angela (36:28):
I, that's probably pretty up there.
I,
John (36:32):
I would've to say.
Angela (36:33):
Yeah.
John (36:34):
Yeah.
Angela (36:35):
I don't know that there's a weird Mm, I don't know.
John (36:38):
A weirder way.
I don't know.
Man, that's a really freaking creep.
Like that one's, yeah.
Something that would happen ina bad horror movie or something.
Yeah.
Not in real life.
That's something that, you know,
Angela (36:51):
that's why I blamed Vincent Price.
John (36:52):
Yeah.
You just, ah, man, that'sa, that's a strange one.
Angela (36:57):
Very
John (36:58):
strange.
Weird for sure.
Weird shit.
Number three.
I see, I see, I see the cannibal.
Do you see, I see.
I dunno how the hell you say that.
ISS.
So anyway, where's it from?
Japan.
(37:18):
Japanese man.
I see Awa murdered and ate.
A woman in Paris in 1981 was declaredinsane, deported and then became a
minor celebrity, making appearancesin documentaries, magazines,
and even writing food reviews.
(37:39):
Awa lured a fellow student tohis apartment, murdered her, and
consumed parts of her body overthe next several days, arrested and
declared legally insane in France.
He was sent to a mental institution,but due to a legal loophole, he was
released after returning to Japan.
Rather than disappearing from publiclife, he leaned into his notoriety.
(38:03):
He wrote books about the murder, starredin films, and was invited onto talk shows.
Japan's tabloid culture turned himinto a grotesque curiosity, a real life
Hannibal lecture with press credentials.
He died in 2022.
Still unapologetic andstill weirdly famous.
My take this dude murdered,someone, ate them and then got
(38:27):
a book deal and a film gig.
Meanwhile, I can't get decent wifiunless I sacrifice a goat to Comcast.
If the society is reward structurewas a car, it would be doing donuts
in a cursed Walmart parking lot.
So, ah, I got, I have a problemwith every part of this.
(38:48):
Yeah, all of it.
But why do people makecelebrities out of monsters?
I don't know.
And I realize this happened inJapan, but I, I don't give a shit.
Or France, I guess it happened in France.
He was Japanese, killed a womanin France, which it's France,
so, but I don't understand.
(39:11):
Why it's allowed forpeople to do this shit.
I don't
Angela (39:15):
know.
John (39:15):
Like there should be international and it
Angela (39:17):
sensationalized.
Yeah.
John (39:20):
Uh, could you imagine what that poor girl's family had to go through?
Oh yeah.
Those years, you know,
Angela (39:26):
and now they're watching this.
Ah,
John (39:30):
yeah.
I mean, you know, granted wedo run some true crime shows.
This one is a little more nearand dear to our heart maybe.
But I have just tons ofproblems with this asset.
Exactly.
And the ability to evendo this is uh uh, yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't give one red scentto a piece of shit like this for
(39:52):
anything, but would you ever reada food column written by a literal.
Tenable.
Angela (39:59):
Absolutely not.
Please
John (40:00):
say no.
Angela (40:00):
Absolutely not.
John (40:02):
Yeah.
So should crimes like this automaticallyban you from all media appearances?
Angela (40:09):
Definitely.
Yes.
Yes.
I think they should.
I just can't even make fun of this one.
This is all serious.
Yes, definitely.
Ban gone.
Why?
John (40:18):
You know, I mean like, this kind of reminds me of Al
Alfred Packard a little bit, but.
Only, I guess because thecannibal aspect of it.
Yeah.
Packard was supposed to be a cannibal,although I have questions about whether
he was, but you know, I mean like hedid his time in prison and then he
just like lived out his life in Sharedin Colorado and died in Old Man.
(40:41):
Like that was it.
And then now they have like the Frozendead guy festival and all the shit.
Yeah.
And all that.
But I don't know.
It's kind of like, I thinkI made this mention on the
Billy the Kid episode where.
Uh, something changes like ahundred to 150 years after a crime.
Yeah.
I don't know why that is.
Yeah.
But this piece of shit just died and thiswas going on while he was alive, alive.
(41:06):
I mean, this is sick.
This is sick at every,they made him a superstar.
It's sick for him.
Yeah.
It's sick for thecountries that allowed it.
And it's sick for thepeople that participated.
Yeah.
It's just
Angela (41:19):
And the family of the victim.
John (41:20):
Yes.
Yeah.
It's just, just
Angela (41:22):
sick.
John (41:23):
It's just sick.
Dammit.
It's just sick.
Dammit.
Alright.
Weird shit.
Number four.
Internet outrage, sibling pasta.
War over cold water noodles.
Oh, I cannot wait.
A viral TikTok war broke out after.
After one sister posted a video cookingpasta by dropping it into cold water.
(41:46):
The internet lost its collectivemind declaring culinary blasphemy,
and sparking one of the weirdestfood fights in digital history.
The now infamous video featured areality TV star sister casually tossing
dry spaghetti into a pot of cold water.
Angela (42:03):
Is it a Kardashian?
John (42:05):
I don't.
Angela (42:06):
Okay.
Sorry.
I don't
John (42:07):
know.
I didn't research it.
I need to know.
Go ahead.
The now MOUs video featured a reality TVstar sister casually tossing dry spaghetti
into a pot of cold water, letting it sit,and then boiling it when she felt like it.
She claimed it was how Italians do it,which caused actual Italians to emerge
(42:30):
from the shadows like culinary ninjas.
The backlash was instant and brutal.
Pasta purists, foodie chefs and GordonRamsey and Gordon Ramsey fans all
joined forces to shame the method.
Memes followed, family dramaunfolded, people chose sides.
The cold water method hassince became a world divided.
(42:54):
The cold water method has sincebecame the pineapple on pizza
of boiling technique discourse.
And no, she has not apologized.
My take, I've seen wars fought overland, religion, and Game of Thrones
finales, but nothing like therage over room temperature, pasta.
The woman somehow united the internetinto fury and all she did was make dinner.
(43:18):
Honestly, I called pasta just tojust spite the angry comment section.
Angela (43:25):
It's a damn good thing she didn't break it in half.
Burst
John (43:29):
that I will agree with a hundred percent.
So that that bag, I don't know if that'sthe answer to your next question, but
what is the Food Hill that you will die?
Cold pizza, mayonnaise on.
Fries, breaking spaghetti.
Angela (43:47):
Um,
best Buy dates.
Really any, anybody that knows me.
Yeah.
John (43:55):
Zach could care less about 'em.
I can't, I, I could even tellyou the last time I've read one.
Angela (44:01):
Every day of my life,
John (44:03):
I don't think I ever do.
No.
I could care less.
Yeah.
Angela (44:07):
I,
John (44:08):
I can tell if food's bad.
Oh, I know.
If it's not, then I eat it.
But
Angela (44:14):
I have care less this, I have this thing.
You're not alone.
There's, I have this thing and it, it,it lives in there and it won't shut up.
So I also, God, should Ibe saying these things?
I
John (44:26):
don't know.
I,
Angela (44:27):
mm. I get pissed off if you like open something in my house and
you don't like write the date that itwas opened because I need to know how
long it's been sitting there opened.
John (44:40):
That might be a little pathological.
Angela (44:42):
It's, it's insane.
I don't lie to peopleabout my level of crazy.
John (44:49):
I would've to say the food hill, I would die.
It doesn't sound like Ihave near as many as you.
I have a mountain would be how longyou boiled hard, hard-boiled eggs for.
Angela (45:01):
Oh yeah.
'cause I boiled them like aminute longer than you said too.
And
John (45:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's 11 minutes.
Angela (45:08):
Oh no.
I was 11 minutes that day.
John (45:10):
And I think he used said like 12 or 13.
Angela (45:12):
And did I do 12 or 13?
Yeah, I wouldn't have, it would'vebeen 12 'cause I don't do odd numbers.
John (45:17):
Yeah, it's 11.
It's 11 minutes.
Crazy.
And the answer is seven
Is the Internet's rage at cookingmethods just repressed childhood trauma?
I think so.
I do find it interesting how upset peopleget over dumb shit like this, like.
Uh, did they even notice?
Uh, you know, first I was happier
Angela (45:38):
when I thought it was Gordon Ramsey and not just Gordon Ramsey fans.
I was like, Gordon Ramsey waited.
Yes,
John (45:44):
I'm pretty sure Gordon Ramsey feels the same way.
I do heavy a shit.
What you do in your own kitchen,just don't do it in my kitchen.
He kind
Angela (45:51):
of cares.
Yeah.
I think he cares.
John (45:53):
He doesn't give a shit how you cook your food.
Just if you're selling it tosomebody else, you're feeding it.
Yeah, that's true.
Angela (46:00):
And he cares about Best Buy dates.
So thank you very much.
John (46:04):
Well he does.
'cause he has to, I bet.
At home he doesn't give a shit.
So should TikTok require aculinary license before people
post boiling instructions?
Angela (46:16):
Yes.
I now, yes, it's, it's angering.
John (46:18):
I think it's just bizarre what people care about.
I know it's just nuts, but
Angela (46:24):
I'm one of those bizarre nut people, so I'm good with it.
John (46:29):
So this story kind of ties into a previous conversation.
The post humanist execution of OliverCromwell in one of history's pettiest
and most macabre acts, Oliver Cromwell,the English military dictator who
led the country as Lord protector,was dug up and publicly executed
(46:51):
two years after he was already dead.
Cromwell died in 1658 andwas buried with full honors.
But after the monarchy was restoredin 1660, king Charles II wanted
revenge for Cromwell's role rolein executing his father, Charles.
I so naturally.
(47:12):
They exhume Cromwell's corpse, alongwith two of his allies, hang their
dead bodies and then beheaded them.
Their skulls were placed on spikesoutside Westminster Hall as a warning
to anyone else thinking about Regicide.
Cromwell's, the king head went on amulti-sensory journey displayed on
(47:33):
poles stolen, passed between collectorsand even exhibited in a museum before
finally being buried again in 1960.
That's a 300 year grudge matchwith bonus corpse desecration.
My take.
You know, someone's pissedoff the wrong people.
When they get executed on a delay,something says, we're definitely not over
(47:58):
it, like dragging a corpse out of thedirt just to give it a final performance.
Cromwell didn't just roll in hisgrave, he got evicted from it.
He did.
It's not funny, but it's funny.
It's crazy bizarre.
But I mean, you know, this is like Iwas talking about like the big nose
(48:19):
dude and all this like, yeah, this guy'shead toured the world for 300 freaking
years and not even wrapped in wax.
No, no.
So is post humanist execution,the historical version of
rage posting with a shovel?
I would think so.
There's, there's several of these.
I don't know if you remember, but on oneof the early episodes we did the Pope
(48:41):
that dug up the other Pope and tried him.
Yes.
Yeah.
Same kind of, oh shit, man.
Oh yeah.
So should crime Roll's Head havegotten its own Netflix docuseries?
Should now?
Definitely, I think it should.
I mean, it's, it's fascinatingand Mac, Cobb and Weird all
kinda wrapped up into one.
(49:03):
Yeah.
So if you could dig upany historical fix Oh man.
Just to yell at them,who would it be and why?
Angela (49:11):
Uh,
this is way too on the spot.
Would it be and why?
I don't know.
John (49:25):
Well, I mean, for me it would, it would definitely be like one of the
freaking communist leaders or one of thefascist, like all the Hitler, Stalin,
Mussolini, Stalin, Mao Seitan, maybe Mao,but I don't know any of 'em could line up.
I, I mean, I, I would be.
(49:46):
I could desecrate any of their courts.
Angela (49:48):
Well, if we're allowed to each have one, we go
together and we each dig up one.
And then you can yell at both of 'em
John (49:54):
then.
Okay.
So we get both of 'em.
Yeah.
So you could pick
Angela (49:57):
two.
Yes.
John (49:58):
Yeah, I, but I think it would definitely have to be, 'cause.
And my belief is like of those fourthat I named Hitler, Mussolini,
Stalin, and Mai Tongue, that's someof the most evil people that have
ever walked the face of the earth.
Yeah.
Seriously.
Very, very evil.
I mean, we're talking millions of death.
Mm-hmm.
Between the four of them,they killed millions.
(50:21):
I think Mousey Tongue holds therecord for the most, but um.
You know the them combined,the none of evil committed by
them animals, so much evil.
Stop.
Yeah, I have stomach growling here.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
So, yeah, but that brings us to the blackscreen, which tells us that that's all I
(50:46):
put together for us tonight, so, right.
Do you have any,
Angela (50:49):
you're anything on digging of somebody and screaming at them?
John (50:54):
Yeah.
All
Angela (50:54):
right.
John (50:55):
This is the weird shit section.
That's true though.
And it's not gonna end onlike rainbows and butterflies.
Come
Angela (51:00):
on.
John (51:01):
Just once.
All right.
Maybe I'll see if I can.
Find a unicorn story just once.
But with that, do you have anyother criticisms you'd like to add?
That wasn't a criticism,that was a request.
Okay.
Any other requests?
No, I'm good.
Alright.
So again, this has been dark dialogue,shadow chat sessions where we talk
(51:25):
about all kinds of crazy shit.
Weird shit, hip shits.
All the shit shits.
And if there's anything that youwould like us to discuss on this
show or on our more serious show.
Those, any cases that you wantedto look, want us to look into
tips, anything like that, you canreach us at info@darkdialogue.com.
Again, we ask you to like review, giveus a thumbs up, share this episode.
Angela (51:48):
Tell us who would, who you would dig up and yell at.
Yeah,
John (51:51):
tell us that one too.
But those reviews and that kindof stuff really help us out a ton.
Share this episode with somebody youthink might laugh at it and enjoy it.
Angela (52:00):
Does pineapple belong on pizza?
John (52:02):
Yes, it does.
I agree.
But you can tell.
As your thoughts on that.
Mm-hmm.
Also, you can support us on Patreonand on copy, join our newsletter and
read all the stuff I've put togetherfor us on the on the Substack.
You can find all kinds of informationabout our shows and about us and
all the stuff that we've got goingall the time@darkdialogue.com.
(52:24):
And with that, if you have nothing elseand we stay safe, everybody, this is Ben,
John, and Angela, have a great night.
Well help oh, welcome
to another episode of Dark Dialogue Chat.
Shadow chat sessions start shot.
I am your host, John, withthe hopefully another corny.
Apparently another corny.
Intro.
So, Hey, how'd I do tonight?
(00:32):
Angela?
Catherine.
Well good.
So I come up with my task.
Angela (00:37):
So the, the handguns helped a lot.
Thank you.
John (00:42):
Absolutely.
Oh my, I'm have to come up withsomething super clever for the next time.
Wow.
Yeah.
My eyes are watery.
Well, good.
You deserved it and you made fun of methe last time, so, man, I bring, it's.
That's what I do.
So welcome listeners.
This again, the show we talk about.
(01:03):
Strange shit.
Weird shit.
Ditch chips.
All the shit shits andI can't even say shit.
So you still said chat, chat sessions.
Well, we are in for tonight, apparently.
Yes we are.
I'm getting an interesting episode.
Oh, how, how's things going today?
How you doing?
Angela (01:21):
Uh, I was fine until a second ago
John (01:25):
and now,
Angela (01:25):
no, I'm good.
Shrink for air debris over there.
It's a good thing you're, youhave a history of a paramedic
'cause I might need it.
John (01:36):
Well, we'll see if I can keep that up all night.
I'm gonna do my best.
So let's see how I do.
I don't know.
I wrote this episode a little whileago, so it's gonna be interesting.
It's like seeing itall for the first time.
Cool.
So yeah, who knows?
Who knows what we might come up with?
Angela (01:53):
Oh, you're just not gonna get any words outta me.
Just random laughter.
Is that what.
John (01:56):
It's gonna be.
Yep.
Alright, well we can take it.
So you ready to jump into this?
I am.
Start with our strange headlines.
I am.
What is it?
Tell me.
Okay.
The strange headline is Florida ManArrested after trying to cross the
(02:20):
Atlantic Ocean in giant hamster wheel.
Please tell me.
There's a picture.
There's a picture.
There's a picture.
A Florida man was detained by the US CoastGuard after attempting to cross the entire
Atlantic Ocean in a giant hamster wheel.
Is it made from
Angela (02:39):
gas cans?
Yes.
John (02:43):
It was just like a cherry rigged human hamster wheel.
His destination, London, his planoptimism and absolutely zero.
Physics and what may be the most Floridathing to happen in recorded history.
Re Reza Bucci.
(03:03):
Was spotted off the coastof Tybee Island, Georgia.
Inside a bizarre floating contraptionmade of metal bars and buoys designed
like a hamster wheel for humans.
Beluchi told the Coast Guard that heintended to quote, run across the ocean.
To London powered entirely by hislegs and his dreams, their coast
(03:29):
guard, less enchanted by his spirit.
Spent five days negotiating with himbefore finally just arresting him.
This wasn't his first attempt.
He's tried similar stuntsin the past, including Feld
voyages to Bermuda and New York.
This time his wheel was heldtogether with duct tape and prayers,
(03:50):
and not even vaguely seaworthy.
He was charged with obstructionand violating a Captain America
level amount of maritime law.
My take this man looked at the AtlanticOcean and said, yeah, I could jog that.
I admire the delusion.
Most of us can't committo walking to the mailbox.
(04:12):
Meanwhile, this guy is out theretrying to lrp across a hamster.
Moses, I am not.
I am just shocked that hedidn't take a GoPro to his head
and call it a YouTube series.
Angela (04:27):
Okay, my take, yes, I have two of them.
John (04:29):
Go for it.
Angela (04:30):
First of all.
I know people who will watch an episodeof some bullshit on tv just 'cause
they don't wanna look for the remote.
John (04:39):
Yes.
Angela (04:40):
Secondly, I have people who live in this area and how
have you not told me about this?
You have let me down.
You know who you are.
John (04:51):
So at what point does a dream become a felony?
Angela (04:56):
Apparently, duct tape and dreams.
John (04:59):
I really think that it's at that point where I don't care if it's law
enforcement, the National Guard, coastGuard, whoever it is, when they say
something like, get on your knees orget out of your hamster wheel and you
don't do it, bad things are gonna happen.
Angela (05:16):
Yeah.
John (05:16):
So.
I
Angela (05:18):
mean, if you get on your knees in a hamre wheel in the water, it's
likely it'll keep tumbling though.
So, uh.
John (05:25):
I know like at wouldn't at at some point, maybe we just
gotta let Darwin take over.
Mm-hmm.
And be like, well,
Angela (05:31):
yeah.
Part of me was like, how is this illegal?
Just let him
John (05:35):
do his thing.
The shit that makes stuff likethis illegal honestly though, is.
Then these Coast Guard guys have to gowhisk their lives to save this dumb ass
Angela (05:45):
and possibly while they should be saving someone else.
Exactly.
Who actually is
John (05:49):
in trouble.
Yeah,
Angela (05:50):
I get it.
I get it.
John (05:51):
So should we start licensing hamster wheels the same way as we do boats?
I think so, yeah.
I like it.
I mean, what it was the name,the contraption could have been.
Pretty popular, I would say,on like lakes and stuff.
I mean, it looks kind of fun,seaworthy and all that kinda stuff.
It's like those, those giantballs that people cross.
Yeah, those look fun andlike run around in Yeah.
(06:14):
Stuff like that, you know?
So
Angela (06:16):
I would try that.
Not in a vast body ofwater, but maybe in a pool.
Yeah, I don't think the
John (06:21):
Atlantic would be a good place no.
To attempt for of those.
Not
Angela (06:24):
the first time.
At least you gonna get seasonedthat I don't think anytime.
I would think if you got seasonedenough, you could try it.
John (06:31):
I'm pretty sure that there's times crossing the Atlantic that the temperature
inside one of those freaking out probablyget to like 315 or something like that.
And you just boil your brain.
Yes.
Fine.
And not only that, but then well, yougonna be like, pack all your food and
(06:52):
stuff and you're gonna get beat the Yeah.
All your canned food's gonnabeat the shit out of Yep.
You're rolling across the Atlantic.
Angela (06:58):
Yeah, I was wondering about that too.
John (07:00):
So yeah.
Is this performance art or justFlorida's Olympic training program?
Angela (07:05):
I think it's both.
John (07:07):
I know.
And again, another weirdass story outta Florida.
No,
Angela (07:11):
Florida,
John (07:11):
don't know.
And the second
Angela (07:13):
thing having to do with hamster, like I wasn't
already scarred from the first
John (07:20):
time.
He is not gonna let that one go.
No.
All right, well, you readyfor the conspiracy corner?
Yeah.
Let's, let's see what's out there now
that time.
Cube Theory.
Angela (07:36):
Okay.
Is that anything like the InfinityCube I'm constantly playing with?
John (07:41):
I don't think so.
Damnit.
So the Time Cube is one of, one ofthe, in Internet's strangest relics,
a sprawling, nearly indecipherabletheory that every day is actually
four days happening at once.
It's creator.
Gene Ray claimed he was the wisesthuman and that all science, math, and
(08:05):
education systems were a global coverup.
First appearing in the late 1990s,the Time Cube website featured an
aggressive wall of multicolored text,all caps, rants, and bizarre diagrams.
Gene Ray believed each day is broken intofour quadrants, morning, midday, evening,
(08:28):
and night, all happening simultaneouslyat different corners of earth.
He claimed linear time was a lie.
Teachers were brainwashers andtraditional science was a hoax.
Anyone who disagreed was layold, quote, educated, stupid.
He even hosted lectures at universitiesusually to confuse silence.
(08:52):
What started as fringe nonsense gaintraction as a meme, satire, magnet,
and cautionary tale for the dangersof unmoderated internet access.
Some defenders argue it was it.
It was early performance arc. Others sayit was a genuine mental health spiral
that the internet turned into a circus.
(09:15):
Might take ah, yes, four daysin one, because one existential
crisis a day just isn't enough.
The time Cube is like if Einsteindid acid, got bored halfway
through a theory and rage typedthe rest into the a GeoCities page.
I tried reading the whole thing once.
(09:36):
I think my brain rebooted
Angela (09:39):
rage, typed it using T nine.
Yes.
John (09:42):
Yeah, this is true.
Much better.
Yeah.
So do you feel like you've livedfour days in one when your alarm
goes off at 6:00 AM three alarm day?
Yeah, I can relate.
Believe you me.
So,
Angela (09:57):
I mean, it's already Thursday in here.
John (10:01):
I don't even try to keep track of days anymore.
Yeah.
I have no idea what day.
Just remind you.
It's Tuesday.
We should be recording today.
That's exactly right.
Yes.
Thank you for that.
You're welcome.
So should conspiracy theorieshave to pass a breathalyzer
before registering a domain?
Mm-hmm.
I agree.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(10:21):
So what's weirder Time Cubeor the fact that college
professors invited him to speak?
Angela (10:27):
Did they invite him though or did he just kind of barrel his way through?
John (10:31):
Oh no, he actually was speaking, he was like lecturing at universities.
I
Angela (10:35):
think it's the equivalent of when they just roll in the, the video that day.
'cause they just don'thave the curriculum done.
That's probably what it was.
They just needed a break.
John (10:45):
You know, I'm not a big fan of higher education.
Most of our higher education institutions.
Um, I think I. Do a lot of brainwashing.
So, and when I make jokes like, uh,study an underwater basket weaving and
bullshit like that, they actually havethat kind of nonsense at at university.
(11:07):
So it does not at all surprise me thatthey have some whack job like this
in their giving lectures and stuff.
I'm sure he is probably one ofthe more sane that has given some
of the lectures at universities
Angela (11:20):
probably.
John (11:21):
All right.
You ready for the Reddit rabbit hole?
Angela (11:23):
Yeah.
Let's see what Reddit's doing today.
There's no,
John (11:30):
the back rooms.
What began is a creepy photo andshort post about non clipping
out of reality has become a vast,collaborative horror universe.
Welcome to the backrooms, whereendless yellow corridors buzz
(11:51):
under the fluorescent lights,and something is always watching.
The backrooms originated in2019 from a four chan post.
Then quickly spread acrossReddit, YouTube, TikTok, and
game modeling communities.
The premise if reality glitches, youmight fall through no clip style into an
(12:14):
infinite liminal space of damp carpet,yellow walls, and flickering lights.
Redditors expanded themythos level zero, the lobby.
Gave rise to dozens of otherlevels, each with unique rules,
threats, and environments.
Some are icy, others are on fire.
(12:35):
Some loop infinity.
Many contain hostile entities withnames like Smilers and Skin Steelers.
Fans have built interactivemaps, video series 3D game
mods and collaborative wikis.
At this point, the backrooms are parturban legend, part internet improv horror,
(12:57):
and part collective coping mechanismfor people who fear office cubicles.
My take.
I love how the internet turned a slightlyweird carpeted hallway into a metaphysical
prison of ex existential dread.
That's Gen Z horror right there.
Not ghosts, not demons, justfluorescent lighting and moist carpet.
(13:18):
Nothing says it.
Terror like a thermostat stuckat 73 and no visible exits.
Angela (13:25):
Why does the carpet always have to be moist?
Why?
John (13:29):
Probably because it's just so freaking gross.
I dunno.
Very much nastier thanfreaking wet carpet.
I know.
That's what, Ugh.
I'm not a huge fan of carpet in general.
Same, but wet carpet.
Yeah.
So what's scarier?
Haunted houses or eternal officespaces, but no, each hr. Wet carpet.
(13:52):
Wet carpet.
Yeah.
And it's, I just don'tunderstand this shit.
I know.
Don't.
I'm not like internet.
I guess I'm not like Gen Zenough or millennial enough or
Angela (14:03):
It sounds like it's part of the creepy pasta stuff though.
And I did used to listen to that a lot.
So some of it You keep startingthat to sound familiar.
Where
John (14:13):
is this?
I don't know about thisspaghetti you speak of.
What the hell are you talking?
This is like for the thirdepisode you've mentioned.
What is creepy pasta.
Creepy pasta.
What is that?
It's
Angela (14:25):
the brand of stories that.
Tell things like the game, the game aboutthe knocking on the door, like a story
behind that would be a creepy pasta.
There's one I listened to aboutStranger Things would be a creepy
pasta if it was just told online.
John (14:47):
Okay.
Angela (14:48):
So I, but I used to li it's had creepy in the name,
of course I listened to it.
Gotcha.
But.
This one sounded familiar except forit was like you had to pass tests to
get to the second and next levels,and then there was elevators, and you
don't push the series of buttons, oryou'll just never get off the elevator.
(15:11):
Hmm.
Yeah.
John (15:13):
So if you ended up in the back rooms, what's the first thing you'd do?
Scream, cry, or break a ceiling Tile.
I might break something.
Yeah, that sounds I would mostcertainly break something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Without a doubt.
It's like I'm breaking things, man.
Oh hell yeah.
So are the back rooms horror orjust Ikea before opening hours?
Angela (15:37):
Ikea, when they run outta meatballs and people are pissed.
John (15:40):
IKEA has meatballs.
Angela (15:41):
Yeah.
Apparently.
I've never been to one.
I don't
John (15:44):
know.
Oh, so you don't even understandwhat I mean when I say ikea?
No.
Oh, oh, oh.
Are you in for something?
I hate you.
Ikea it.
Angela (15:53):
I'm not in trouble for not having something.
John (15:57):
Okay, so picture, um, but you're a Home Depot.
Okay.
Probably four or five times larger thanany Home Depot you've ever been in.
Okay.
And it's amazed that youhave to go start to finish.
You are not.
You cannot go to aisle three,grab your shit and leave.
(16:20):
In order to go to aisle three, you have togo through aisle one, two, grab your shit
at three, and then go all the way to aisle757 to where you can get to the checkouts.
That is ikea.
You cannot, you've gotta go through thewhole experience to get to the end of it.
The checkout lines, like there isno quick trip to like, gotcha, okay.
(16:46):
But it very much like Home Depot, you'repushing like those big flatbed carts and
loading tons of furniture and shit onas if your girlfriend likes to shop at
IKEA and you're loading all the furnitureand shed up on there and then you gotta
push it through about, I don't know.
I'd say
Angela (17:02):
You said 753 isles?
John (17:04):
Yeah, but in Miles that probably Oh.
Equates to like, I don't know,1800 or something like that.
Angela (17:09):
Okay.
John (17:09):
Yeah.
It's painful.
And you to go home and build it?
Ikea?
No.
The stuff that you brought.
Oh, the, yeah.
No shit.
You do with, with directionswritten in Swedish.
Angela (17:21):
Like the meatballs.
John (17:23):
I don't know about the meatballs, but I do know IKEA is quite
the experience and it does remindme of this back back rooms thing.
And you're not talking meinto wanting to go to lunch.
You need not escape.
You cannot escape.
Angela (17:39):
Well, I've spent many time in,
this probably doesn't match, but inuh, Denver Merchandise Mart before
they closed it in the Vegas market.
That's enough.
That's enough for me.
John (17:52):
All of those have exits or a way to get to, they actually do, yes.
Without going through, but justimagine a big tunnel that was literally
like wall to wall booths exceptfor where you like, like a rat race
two miles following the cheese hasto follow it all the way through.
That's ikea.
(18:12):
Okay.
And you have to push like.
Multiple flatbed cards full of likecheap furniture all the way through.
Angela (18:18):
Where's our nearest ikea?
John (18:20):
I don't know.
Denver has one.
I know that 'cause I've been throughthe godforsaken thing multiple times.
But
Angela (18:26):
that, that would mean that I probably don't have to
go through one for a while.
John (18:30):
Probably not the most popular furniture in Wyoming.
I would, yeah.
It's all like the new agey look.
Shit.
That's not my style.
Gotcha.
But yeah.
Anyway.
You ready for the dip Shit's?
Angela (18:44):
Diary dip?
Yes.
Bring them on.
John (18:53):
Dip Shit diaries.
Dip shit's.
Diary number one, transient bag bandit.
Transparent bag Bandit.
Nice.
A man attempted to rob a conveniencestore wearing a plastic bag on his head.
The flaw.
It was see-through Shockingly
Angela (19:15):
so he could see.
Duh.
John (19:16):
The security footage had no trouble identifying him.
Oh, surveillance footage out of St.
Louis showed the man striding intoa store wearing what appeared to
be a clear plastic grocery bagloosely fitted over his space,
complete with handles still attached.
He demanded cash, brandished apossibly fake weapon, and ran
(19:38):
off with a handful of money.
Within hours, police had anamed an address and a crystal
clear image of his face.
Thanks to the transparentheadgear, even the store clerk
clerk described it as quote, thedumbest disguise I've ever seen.
And this is a job wherepeople try to shoplift whole
turkeys under their hoodies.
(20:00):
I take this man said, let me be bothanonymous and visible from space.
You have to admire the confidenceor pity the oxygen deprivation.
The only way this gets dumber is if helivestreamed the robbery with filters on
Angela (20:19):
the bag was a filter.
John (20:20):
This is true.
So what's the worst disguisethat you can wear for a robbery?
Angela (20:26):
I'm not trying to get any worse than that.
I think that's pretty good.
John (20:30):
I still gotta go with the dudes with the magic marker scribbled on.
Angela (20:33):
Oh, well I forgot about them.
Oh, man.
John (20:36):
I, I really think that that one still beats this one.
And then you
Angela (20:41):
gotta use a banana.
John (20:43):
Yes.
Then you got as a weapon, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So do plastic bags qualify asfashion function, or felony now?
Angela (20:51):
Well, yeah.
Now you're gonna have to have an ID toget plastic bags out of a grocery store.
John (20:56):
I mean, it's crazy because now we have the episode that
aired today, plus this episode.
We've both got criminals thatdecided putting a plastic bag
over their head was a good idea.
Yeah.
And so is there a Darwin Award category?
Yes, please.
Most easily identified by HD footage.
(21:17):
I mean, this guy is such a freakingbozo and yes, this is a real picture
of, that's this casually walking in.
Oh man.
Alright, so dip shit.
Diary number two, the selfie bank robber.
Was he also wearing aplastic bag on his head?
In a shocking twist, a man who robbeda bank was caught not because of police
(21:40):
work, but because he posted selfieswith the stolen cash on Facebook.
Oh my.
His captions basicallyconfessionals, so me.
Meet a Michigan man who robbed abank, got away clean, and then decided
to post a celebratory selfie onlineholding a stack of stolen bills.
(22:04):
He captioned it with phraseslike feeling blessed and money
comes to those who hustle.
Oh man.
Turns out.
Those who hustle also get taggedby their ex-girlfriends and
reported to law enforcement.
Police located him within 48 hours,largely thanks to his social media
feed looking like a rap videostoryboard from a dollar store.
(22:28):
When arrested, he reportedlyasked, how did you find me so fast?
How did you find me so fast, buddy?
You went live during the getaway.
My take.
This guy robbed a bank, then committeddigital assisted suicide by clout.
If your flex ends in in felonycharges, you're not an influencer.
(22:48):
You are a cautionary tale.
I just hope that his next postis hashtag blessed and booked.
So what's worse robbing a bankor tagging yourself at the scene?
I'm gonna go with taggingyourself for 500, Alex.
I mean, it blows my mind how many ofthese stories there are out there,
(23:09):
like dip shit's, like doing dried byshootings and shit and posting it online.
I, I, I we're being taken overby dumb criminals, you know?
I know I said.
I said in one of the previousepisodes, I'm afraid I might
run out of Crypted stories.
I am not at all scared.
I'm gonna run out dipshit diary stories.
(23:29):
I think we could do a dip shit diarythree hour show five days a week and
we would still never run outta money,
Angela (23:39):
man.
So, but you know, all that cash needsto come to the Dark Dialogue Museum.
John (23:47):
Oh, that I agree with.
I'm just saying.
Yeah.
Although visitors mightfind a picture of the case.
Yeah, that
Angela (23:55):
that exhibit might be under construction for a while.
Just saying
John (23:59):
should Facebook come with a criminal alert system?
Like are you sure you wantto Yes, most definitely.
Like, uh, are you sure?
Think twice button.
Pretty sure this is evidence.
So do you think that he made a TikTokVance dance called the Felony Shuffle?
Yep.
Yep.
I mean, I just don't know ifthere's, I don't know, but this
(24:23):
next one, uh, I don't know.
Tonight is a tough race.
I gotta tell you one, two, and three.
So where you at right now?
You got the first one.
Who is the dipshit that usedthe plastic bag on his head?
Then you got this moremoron with the selfies.
(24:44):
So if those two, who's running,who's running in first right now?
Angela (24:48):
I'm gonna go with selfie, dude,
John (24:50):
I think I'm gonna have to too think I'm gonna have to Because
Angela (24:53):
he got away.
John (24:54):
Yeah, he did.
Angela (24:56):
Oh, so
John (24:56):
did the first dip shit though,
Angela (24:58):
but
John (24:58):
for a little while.
Yeah, but, but he.
Could this guy expect
Angela (25:04):
to have gotten away?
John (25:05):
But I, yeah.
I think the point you're making isthis guy would've probably gotten away.
Yeah.
So, okay, but now this bringsus to dip shit diaries number
three, the pizza box trail.
I'm very intrigued.
A man robbed a house and madeoff with electronics, but sealed
his own fate by dropping a pizzabox on his way out on the box.
(25:30):
His name, address, and phone number inPhiladelphia police were investigating
a home break-in when they discovered aDomino's box outside the broken window.
It wasn't from the victim.
It belonged to the burglar.
He had been carrying it on the wayin, possibly as a snack or a prop.
Turns out he ordered pizza rightbefore committing the robbery.
(25:53):
The receipt inside the box includedhis full contact information.
When officers arrived at the listedaddress, the stolen goods were
still visible in his living room.
He was arrested while eatingthe rest of the pizza.
Which, let's be honest, is the mostrelatable part of the whole crime.
Yeah, my take.
(26:14):
Nothing says criminal Mastermind, likeleaving behind a full receipt trail.
This guy committed burglary witha paper trail and Parmesan dust.
He basically left a deliveryconfirmation with GPS coordinates.
Honestly, the only thing missing was aYelp review of the robbery Four stars.
TV was heavy, but great crust.
Angela (26:35):
Yeah.
I hope we got lava cakes.
John (26:39):
Oh, is pizza the most incriminating food?
Sticky fingers.
Cardboard, cho, garlic scents.
Angela (26:46):
Well, DoorDash nowadays has your address on anything,
so it could be anything.
This is true.
John (26:52):
So should dominoes start offering a no crimes during delivery clause?
Yes.
So 30 minutes
Angela (26:58):
or less.
John (27:01):
So do you think he tipped well before ruining his?
I sure freaking hope so.
I would hope so too, because itwas probably with something stolen.
I'm pro.
I'm sure probably was.
So, all right.
So they probably forgothis sauce though, of those
Angela (27:14):
three who wins.
Oh,
I wanna say the middle guy, but it, it'sthe pizza guy is just edging him out.
See just on his tail a little bit.
I
John (27:29):
still have to go with the selfie moron.
That's what
Angela (27:32):
I'm saying.
The selfie guy.
John (27:33):
Oh, that's the one you said,
Angela (27:34):
but the pizza guy is just on his tail.
John (27:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would have to say, see, I thinkI'd rank him selfie dip shit bag
on head dip shit and pizza dipped.
Shit did last I to say I would have to.
Angela (27:54):
I don't know.
John (27:55):
Anyway, we ready for the weird shit Second.
Yeah.
Weird shit.
Weird shit.
Number one Cryptededition, the Mandy Bear.
(28:16):
Interesting.
Okay.
In the forests and grasslands of EastAfrica, locals have reported sightings
of the Mandy bear, a towering hyenalike beast with a sloping back, long
claws, and a taste for livestock.
No one's ever caught one,but sightings keep coming.
Also known as the carrot that, and that'snot like a carrot, it's KRIT, carrot.
(28:42):
I don't know how these ke, but whatever.
It's Africans.
Yeah.
I don't know how pronouncing it,but it's K-E-R-I-T, the ndy bear.
Has been feared in Kenyanfolklore for generations.
It's described as a large predator,possibly standing upright with a
massive head and terrifying claw.
While skeptics suggests that it couldbe a misidentified hyena or an extinct
(29:06):
short face bear believers insist it'ssomething else, a prehistoric survivor
or a completely undiscovered species.
In 20 25, 2 new sightings were reportednear Mount Elgon, where farmers claim
something, quote, not hyena, mauled goatsand left massive claw marks and trees.
(29:28):
Crypto zoologists are once againtrying to secure funding, probably
by rebranding it as a hyena, Bigfoot.
My take.
We're back on the Crypted Safarifolks, and this one's basically
a demonic hyena on steroids.
If the nady bear is real, I'd liketo politely decline any safaris
(29:49):
where the tour guide says, bring yourown flashlight and running shoes.
So would you rather face the AndyBear or a cranky actual bear?
Angela (30:03):
Frankie actual bear.
John (30:05):
Really?
Angela (30:05):
Yeah.
John (30:07):
Not me.
I'll take the Mandy bear solelybecause I got a thing, I got
a bone to pick with crypts.
Angela (30:14):
That's true.
But I thought it was mainly moth, man.
John (30:17):
Well, it started as mainly moth, man.
Now I'm pissed off at all.
Angela (30:20):
Do you think they're friends and he'll just bring the nanny bear with him?
John (30:23):
Probably.
Maybe.
Yeah, you might come in here andfind like blood and gore, all
walls in a room full of cryptids.
I don't know.
Angela (30:30):
He's got a taste for livestock, so you gotta bring
yourself a cow or something in here.
John (30:35):
Okay.
Angela (30:37):
Or a goat in Chuca show up too.
John (30:40):
I just had this image of the goat in Jurassic Park.
Angela (30:44):
Yeah.
That was sad.
John (30:46):
Was it?
It
Angela (30:47):
was
John (30:48):
not when like all the people were eating.
Let go.
I find this, this, Ifind this fascinating.
Angela (30:53):
Yeah.
It hurts me more when animals arehurt than when people are hurt.
John (30:57):
So why are so many cryptics just slightly wrong versions of
animals that we already have?
Angela (31:04):
Yeah, I love that.
The guy had to say, not like a hyena.
John (31:09):
I mean, this, I gotta say is a first for me.
I'm not a big cryptic guy.
I
Angela (31:12):
never heard of this one,
John (31:13):
but this was a first for me.
I'm trying to discover new ones.
I'm doing my best.
So.
Should be.
Well, I do have a friend who's gratefulthat you're putting Cryptics in the shows.
Right on.
Yeah.
I tried to put one in every one.
So should we give the Nay Bear a Rebaa rebrand to improve merch potential?
Angela (31:31):
Yeah.
And put something on itsstomach like a care bear.
I,
John (31:34):
I mean, I gotta say, wow, I haven't thought about Care Bears for a long time.
Angela (31:38):
You're welcome.
John (31:40):
So I gotta see, I was trying to think of
Angela (31:42):
what it would yell
John (31:44):
it.
Kind of looks like Sasquatch
Angela (31:49):
again.
Is that supposed to be a personin front of it for size reference?
John (31:55):
I think so.
I didn't draw the picturewell, no, I got it online.
Angela (32:00):
T-shirt.
You sure you didn't draw that?
Just real quick for guy, for sure.
John (32:03):
Yeah.
So I don't know.
I don't know what to think about this one.
I, and like I said, I'venever heard of it before.
Angela (32:11):
Yeah, I've never heard of it,
John (32:12):
but.
I don't know.
It is interesting and fascinatingthat all cultures share
this, like across the world.
Mm-hmm.
I think I've said that before,but it, it's very fascinating.
Yep.
I don't know if it's somethinginnate in humans or if there's
actually something to it, you know?
Angela (32:30):
Well, there's probably something going on and they have to figure out
a reason for it, that they can accept
John (32:36):
something.
Angela (32:37):
So.
John (32:38):
Alright.
This one's crazy.
Yeah.
Weird shit.
Number two, the historical WTF,the $6 million man wax horse.
Excuse me.
In the 1970s, a Hollywood film crewfilming the $6 million, man discovered
that a fun house dummy hangingin an amusement park wasn't fake.
(33:02):
It was a mummified human corpse.
The incident happened in the New PikeAmusement Park in Long Beach, California.
While prepping a scene in a haunted houseattraction, a crew member accidentally
broke off the arm from what theythought was a prop inside the arm.
Human bone and tissue.
An autopsy revealed the body wasthat of Elmer McCurdy, a 60-year-old
(33:27):
outlaw who died in a shootout in 1911.
After being embalmed, he waspassed off as a curiosity sold
to carnival owners and traveledthrough the sideshows for decades.
By the 1970s, no oneremembered he was real.
He had became a literal museum piece.
Until he disarmed himself.
(33:49):
Quite literally, damn it.
Vincent Price might take.
Imagine thinking you're working withfoam rubber only to realize your elbow
deep in early 20th century outlaw,this isn't just a bad day at work.
It's a full blown, it's a fullblowing resume ending event.
(34:09):
I bet that stagehand doesn't evenflinch when opening closets anymore.
So isn't therapy needed there?
Yeah.
Crazy, crazy crap.
So should amusement parks checktheir mannequins a little more?
I mean, I can understandhow this can happen.
(34:31):
It is just.
Nuts.
And do you remember the six i how
Angela (34:35):
Rill?
That probably sounded whenI said most definitely.
But do I remember what,
John (34:39):
do you remember the 6 million Man?
Angela (34:41):
It's Yeah.
The, the talk of this soundedfamiliar when you started saying it.
John (34:46):
It was such a freaking cool show was so it was, it was $6 million, man.
And the fall guy, do youremember the fall guy?
No.
It was Lee, major Jersey.
Had a really freaking cool,jacked up shimmy pickup.
He was a Hollywood stuntman.
Angela (35:02):
Oh
John (35:03):
yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
And the 6 million, I don't know.
They were both on right about the sametime in my childhood, so I don't know.
They've, I've reminisce, but, sodoes this mean the $6 billion man
technically featured a corpse cameo?
Angela (35:18):
Yeah, most definitely.
John (35:20):
Yeah.
It's freaking nuts.
An
Angela (35:23):
outlaw that apparently you need to talk about.
'cause I've never heard of this guy.
John (35:27):
I didn't either.
I think we should dig deeper, butI don't think he was a murderer.
I think he was a robber.
Still outlaw.
Well, this is true.
Well, he died in a shootout, so Yeah,we might have to get him on the list.
So
Angela (35:45):
we need to know a little bit more about how he ended up covered in wax.
And
John (35:50):
actually it's not that unusual.
It used to happen a lot.
That's why I blame Vince guyswith like criminals and stuff.
They would like.
Put their heads on tourand shit like that.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Like Big Nose, big Nose, Georgia.
Angela (36:05):
Oh yeah.
Big
John (36:06):
Nose.
They come up in aepisode not too long ago.
Yeah.
Angela (36:09):
Yeah.
John (36:10):
Like his head, his skull
Angela (36:11):
and his shoes.
John (36:12):
Yeah.
Angela (36:13):
Yeah.
John (36:13):
And uh.
And Thomas, uh, I'm brain dead tonight.
What language was that?
I don't know my language.
Okay, so what's the weirdest way toaccidentally end up in a TV show?
Angela (36:28):
I, that's probably pretty up there.
I,
John (36:32):
I would've to say.
Angela (36:33):
Yeah.
John (36:34):
Yeah.
Angela (36:35):
I don't know that there's a weird Mm, I don't know.
John (36:38):
A weirder way.
I don't know.
Man, that's a really freaking creep.
Like that one's, yeah.
Something that would happen ina bad horror movie or something.
Yeah.
Not in real life.
That's something that, you know,
Angela (36:51):
that's why I blamed Vincent Price.
John (36:52):
Yeah.
You just, ah, man, that'sa, that's a strange one.
Angela (36:57):
Very
John (36:58):
strange.
Weird for sure.
Weird shit.
Number three.
I see, I see, I see the cannibal.
Do you see, I see.
I dunno how the hell you say that.
ISS.
So anyway, where's it from?
Japan.
(37:18):
Japanese man.
I see Awa murdered and ate.
A woman in Paris in 1981 was declaredinsane, deported and then became a
minor celebrity, making appearancesin documentaries, magazines,
and even writing food reviews.
(37:39):
Awa lured a fellow student tohis apartment, murdered her, and
consumed parts of her body overthe next several days, arrested and
declared legally insane in France.
He was sent to a mental institution,but due to a legal loophole, he was
released after returning to Japan.
Rather than disappearing from publiclife, he leaned into his notoriety.
(38:03):
He wrote books about the murder, starredin films, and was invited onto talk shows.
Japan's tabloid culture turned himinto a grotesque curiosity, a real life
Hannibal lecture with press credentials.
He died in 2022.
Still unapologetic andstill weirdly famous.
My take this dude murdered,someone, ate them and then got
(38:27):
a book deal and a film gig.
Meanwhile, I can't get decent wifiunless I sacrifice a goat to Comcast.
If the society is reward structurewas a car, it would be doing donuts
in a cursed Walmart parking lot.
So, ah, I got, I have a problemwith every part of this.
(38:48):
Yeah, all of it.
But why do people makecelebrities out of monsters?
I don't know.
And I realize this happened inJapan, but I, I don't give a shit.
Or France, I guess it happened in France.
He was Japanese, killed a womanin France, which it's France,
so, but I don't understand.
(39:11):
Why it's allowed forpeople to do this shit.
I don't
Angela (39:15):
know.
John (39:15):
Like there should be international and it
Angela (39:17):
sensationalized.
Yeah.
John (39:20):
Uh, could you imagine what that poor girl's family had to go through?
Oh yeah.
Those years, you know,
Angela (39:26):
and now they're watching this.
Ah,
John (39:30):
yeah.
I mean, you know, granted wedo run some true crime shows.
This one is a little more nearand dear to our heart maybe.
But I have just tons ofproblems with this asset.
Exactly.
And the ability to evendo this is uh uh, yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't give one red scentto a piece of shit like this for
(39:52):
anything, but would you ever reada food column written by a literal.
Tenable.
Angela (39:59):
Absolutely not.
Please
John (40:00):
say no.
Angela (40:00):
Absolutely not.
John (40:02):
Yeah.
So should crimes like this automaticallyban you from all media appearances?
Angela (40:09):
Definitely.
Yes.
Yes.
I think they should.
I just can't even make fun of this one.
This is all serious.
Yes, definitely.
Ban gone.
Why?
John (40:18):
You know, I mean like, this kind of reminds me of Al
Alfred Packard a little bit, but.
Only, I guess because thecannibal aspect of it.
Yeah.
Packard was supposed to be a cannibal,although I have questions about whether
he was, but you know, I mean like hedid his time in prison and then he
just like lived out his life in Sharedin Colorado and died in Old Man.
(40:41):
Like that was it.
And then now they have like the Frozendead guy festival and all the shit.
Yeah.
And all that.
But I don't know.
It's kind of like, I thinkI made this mention on the
Billy the Kid episode where.
Uh, something changes like ahundred to 150 years after a crime.
Yeah.
I don't know why that is.
Yeah.
But this piece of shit just died and thiswas going on while he was alive, alive.
(41:06):
I mean, this is sick.
This is sick at every,they made him a superstar.
It's sick for him.
Yeah.
It's sick for thecountries that allowed it.
And it's sick for thepeople that participated.
Yeah.
It's just
Angela (41:19):
And the family of the victim.
John (41:20):
Yes.
Yeah.
It's just, just
Angela (41:22):
sick.
John (41:23):
It's just sick.
Dammit.
It's just sick.
Dammit.
Alright.
Weird shit.
Number four.
Internet outrage, sibling pasta.
War over cold water noodles.
Oh, I cannot wait.
A viral TikTok war broke out after.
After one sister posted a video cookingpasta by dropping it into cold water.
(41:46):
The internet lost its collectivemind declaring culinary blasphemy,
and sparking one of the weirdestfood fights in digital history.
The now infamous video featured areality TV star sister casually tossing
dry spaghetti into a pot of cold water.
Angela (42:03):
Is it a Kardashian?
John (42:05):
I don't.
Angela (42:06):
Okay.
Sorry.
I don't
John (42:07):
know.
I didn't research it.
I need to know.
Go ahead.
The now MOUs video featured a reality TVstar sister casually tossing dry spaghetti
into a pot of cold water, letting it sit,and then boiling it when she felt like it.
She claimed it was how Italians do it,which caused actual Italians to emerge
(42:30):
from the shadows like culinary ninjas.
The backlash was instant and brutal.
Pasta purists, foodie chefs and GordonRamsey and Gordon Ramsey fans all
joined forces to shame the method.
Memes followed, family dramaunfolded, people chose sides.
The cold water method hassince became a world divided.
(42:54):
The cold water method has sincebecame the pineapple on pizza
of boiling technique discourse.
And no, she has not apologized.
My take, I've seen wars fought overland, religion, and Game of Thrones
finales, but nothing like therage over room temperature, pasta.
The woman somehow united the internetinto fury and all she did was make dinner.
(43:18):
Honestly, I called pasta just tojust spite the angry comment section.
Angela (43:25):
It's a damn good thing she didn't break it in half.
Burst
John (43:29):
that I will agree with a hundred percent.
So that that bag, I don't know if that'sthe answer to your next question, but
what is the Food Hill that you will die?
Cold pizza, mayonnaise on.
Fries, breaking spaghetti.
Angela (43:47):
Um,
best Buy dates.
Really any, anybody that knows me.
Yeah.
John (43:55):
Zach could care less about 'em.
I can't, I, I could even tellyou the last time I've read one.
Angela (44:01):
Every day of my life,
John (44:03):
I don't think I ever do.
No.
I could care less.
Yeah.
Angela (44:07):
I,
John (44:08):
I can tell if food's bad.
Oh, I know.
If it's not, then I eat it.
But
Angela (44:14):
I have care less this, I have this thing.
You're not alone.
There's, I have this thing and it, it,it lives in there and it won't shut up.
So I also, God, should Ibe saying these things?
I
John (44:26):
don't know.
I,
Angela (44:27):
mm. I get pissed off if you like open something in my house and
you don't like write the date that itwas opened because I need to know how
long it's been sitting there opened.
John (44:40):
That might be a little pathological.
Angela (44:42):
It's, it's insane.
I don't lie to peopleabout my level of crazy.
John (44:49):
I would've to say the food hill, I would die.
It doesn't sound like Ihave near as many as you.
I have a mountain would be how longyou boiled hard, hard-boiled eggs for.
Angela (45:01):
Oh yeah.
'cause I boiled them like aminute longer than you said too.
And
John (45:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's 11 minutes.
Angela (45:08):
Oh no.
I was 11 minutes that day.
John (45:10):
And I think he used said like 12 or 13.
Angela (45:12):
And did I do 12 or 13?
Yeah, I wouldn't have, it would'vebeen 12 'cause I don't do odd numbers.
John (45:17):
Yeah, it's 11.
It's 11 minutes.
Crazy.
And the answer is seven
Is the Internet's rage at cookingmethods just repressed childhood trauma?
I think so.
I do find it interesting how upset peopleget over dumb shit like this, like.
Uh, did they even notice?
Uh, you know, first I was happier
Angela (45:38):
when I thought it was Gordon Ramsey and not just Gordon Ramsey fans.
I was like, Gordon Ramsey waited.
Yes,
John (45:44):
I'm pretty sure Gordon Ramsey feels the same way.
I do heavy a shit.
What you do in your own kitchen,just don't do it in my kitchen.
He kind
Angela (45:51):
of cares.
Yeah.
I think he cares.
John (45:53):
He doesn't give a shit how you cook your food.
Just if you're selling it tosomebody else, you're feeding it.
Yeah, that's true.
Angela (46:00):
And he cares about Best Buy dates.
So thank you very much.
John (46:04):
Well he does.
'cause he has to, I bet.
At home he doesn't give a shit.
So should TikTok require aculinary license before people
post boiling instructions?
Angela (46:16):
Yes.
I now, yes, it's, it's angering.
John (46:18):
I think it's just bizarre what people care about.
I know it's just nuts, but
Angela (46:24):
I'm one of those bizarre nut people, so I'm good with it.
John (46:29):
So this story kind of ties into a previous conversation.
The post humanist execution of OliverCromwell in one of history's pettiest
and most macabre acts, Oliver Cromwell,the English military dictator who
led the country as Lord protector,was dug up and publicly executed
(46:51):
two years after he was already dead.
Cromwell died in 1658 andwas buried with full honors.
But after the monarchy was restoredin 1660, king Charles II wanted
revenge for Cromwell's role rolein executing his father, Charles.
I so naturally.
(47:12):
They exhume Cromwell's corpse, alongwith two of his allies, hang their
dead bodies and then beheaded them.
Their skulls were placed on spikesoutside Westminster Hall as a warning
to anyone else thinking about Regicide.
Cromwell's, the king head went on amulti-sensory journey displayed on
(47:33):
poles stolen, passed between collectorsand even exhibited in a museum before
finally being buried again in 1960.
That's a 300 year grudge matchwith bonus corpse desecration.
My take.
You know, someone's pissedoff the wrong people.
When they get executed on a delay,something says, we're definitely not over
(47:58):
it, like dragging a corpse out of thedirt just to give it a final performance.
Cromwell didn't just roll in hisgrave, he got evicted from it.
He did.
It's not funny, but it's funny.
It's crazy bizarre.
But I mean, you know, this is like Iwas talking about like the big nose
(48:19):
dude and all this like, yeah, this guy'shead toured the world for 300 freaking
years and not even wrapped in wax.
No, no.
So is post humanist execution,the historical version of
rage posting with a shovel?
I would think so.
There's, there's several of these.
I don't know if you remember, but on oneof the early episodes we did the Pope
(48:41):
that dug up the other Pope and tried him.
Yes.
Yeah.
Same kind of, oh shit, man.
Oh yeah.
So should crime Roll's Head havegotten its own Netflix docuseries?
Should now?
Definitely, I think it should.
I mean, it's, it's fascinatingand Mac, Cobb and Weird all
kinda wrapped up into one.
(49:03):
Yeah.
So if you could dig upany historical fix Oh man.
Just to yell at them,who would it be and why?
Angela (49:11):
Uh,
this is way too on the spot.
Would it be and why?
I don't know.
John (49:25):
Well, I mean, for me it would, it would definitely be like one of the
freaking communist leaders or one of thefascist, like all the Hitler, Stalin,
Mussolini, Stalin, Mao Seitan, maybe Mao,but I don't know any of 'em could line up.
I, I mean, I, I would be.
(49:46):
I could desecrate any of their courts.
Angela (49:48):
Well, if we're allowed to each have one, we go
together and we each dig up one.
And then you can yell at both of 'em
John (49:54):
then.
Okay.
So we get both of 'em.
Yeah.
So you could pick
Angela (49:57):
two.
Yes.
John (49:58):
Yeah, I, but I think it would definitely have to be, 'cause.
And my belief is like of those fourthat I named Hitler, Mussolini,
Stalin, and Mai Tongue, that's someof the most evil people that have
ever walked the face of the earth.
Yeah.
Seriously.
Very, very evil.
I mean, we're talking millions of death.
Mm-hmm.
Between the four of them,they killed millions.
(50:21):
I think Mousey Tongue holds therecord for the most, but um.
You know the them combined,the none of evil committed by
them animals, so much evil.
Stop.
Yeah, I have stomach growling here.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
So, yeah, but that brings us to the blackscreen, which tells us that that's all I
(50:46):
put together for us tonight, so, right.
Do you have any,
Angela (50:49):
you're anything on digging of somebody and screaming at them?
John (50:54):
Yeah.
All
Angela (50:54):
right.
John (50:55):
This is the weird shit section.
That's true though.
And it's not gonna end onlike rainbows and butterflies.
Come
Angela (51:00):
on.
John (51:01):
Just once.
All right.
Maybe I'll see if I can.
Find a unicorn story just once.
But with that, do you have anyother criticisms you'd like to add?
That wasn't a criticism,that was a request.
Okay.
Any other requests?
No, I'm good.
Alright.
So again, this has been dark dialogue,shadow chat sessions where we talk
(51:25):
about all kinds of crazy shit.
Weird shit, hip shits.
All the shit shits.
And if there's anything that youwould like us to discuss on this
show or on our more serious show.
Those, any cases that you wantedto look, want us to look into
tips, anything like that, you canreach us at info@darkdialogue.com.
Again, we ask you to like review, giveus a thumbs up, share this episode.
Angela (51:48):
Tell us who would, who you would dig up and yell at.
Yeah,
John (51:51):
tell us that one too.
But those reviews and that kindof stuff really help us out a ton.
Share this episode with somebody youthink might laugh at it and enjoy it.
Angela (52:00):
Does pineapple belong on pizza?
John (52:02):
Yes, it does.
I agree.
But you can tell.
As your thoughts on that.
Mm-hmm.
Also, you can support us on Patreonand on copy, join our newsletter and
read all the stuff I've put togetherfor us on the on the Substack.
You can find all kinds of informationabout our shows and about us and
all the stuff that we've got goingall the time@darkdialogue.com.
(52:24):
And with that, if you have nothing elseand we stay safe, everybody, this is Ben,
John, and Angela, have a great night.
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