Money, Marriage, Divorce, Children, Stress, Support, Love, Future - (W10:D2) Debt Free Millionaire

Simplified Explanation: Marriage is a culturally recognized union between two people, called spouses, that establishes rights and obligations between them, their children, and even extended family. This brings on the financial, emotional, and physical support of the other person. Some people do this differently but most times, finances stop becoming hers and mine, ownership becomes ours, and families are to work together to succeed in all areas of the family.

Divorce, on the other hand is the legal recognition of the union being dissolved. This is where the financial, emotional, and physical support of the couple is split. This also means that the added stress and finances of the couple is to affect both of them. 

Real Life: Marriage should be the happiest moment in a person’s life, that should - potentially - last until death, but sometimes feelings sour between the two parties. If things can be resolved they should but it takes two to find resolution. Sometimes strength is leaving (with abuse). Sometimes you don't have an option (being left for another person). One person's resolve isn't enough. Like with marriage, keeping a marriage together takes two.

Marriage: When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it normally results in spending as much time as possible getting to know each other, over an extended period of time. This is a time to get to know each other and date, experiencing another person through many different seasons of life. You and your loved one go on dates, attend each other’s activities, and become familiar with the person’s good, and not-so good, traits. This is a time of learning and growing together, before getting married. If you get married too quickly, you may not understand all the attributes of your spouse. If you wait too long, your potential spouse may fall out of love. It is the commitment that makes you strive to work through hard times, be each other’s shoulder to cry on, and the desire for each of you to become a better person in the relationship. When you are getting married, these are the things to consider:

1. 1. Children – Most married couples who get married for the first time come into their marriage without children, but you should discuss whether or not you want children, how many and how soon you want them. Some couples have their children as soon as possible, so they can get them out of the house sooner; some wait a few years, while they get to know each other; and others wait until they are financially secure before having children, which normally ends up with older parents with younger kids. FYI, raising children is very tiring, how much more tiring would it be for older parents. Whenever you decide to have them, remember that they bring a great deal of expenses. Reports show that parents spend an average of $13,186 per year raising their child, though the median cost was only $6,000.

• Finances – Make sure that you are both on the same page with finances, before you get married. Don’t marry someone that you can agree with financially. TD Ameritrade, a financial firm, found that 41% of divorced Gen Xers and 29% of Boomers say they ended their marriage due to disagreements about money. Make sure you are on the same page before marriage, so you don’t risk disagreeing later on. Ask these questions of your future spouse:

1. 1. 1. What are your goals and aspirations in life? How will you reach them?
      2. Will we use a budget each month, to not just be intentional, but to be in agreement?
      3. When you get your paycheck, do you save, as one of your first priorities or after paying your bills and yourself?
      4. Will we use debt to buy things, or will we try to pay cash and stay out of debt?
      5. (Observe this one, don’t ask it) Are you a frivolous spender and go on shopping sprees?
      6. Do you conserve utilities around the house, or do you do things like leave the lights on?
      7. Will we have children right away or when we are financially secure? Will you treat your children better than your parents treated you, spending more?
      8. How many kids would you like? When do you plan to have them?
      9. Do you plan to pay for their entire college career, partial, or make them work for it?
      10. Should the kids go to public or private school, or homeschool?
      11. How much debt do you have? How much savings do you have? 
      12. Do your parents pay for any of your current bills? Would you accept money from them?
      13. How much will we spend on our parents or relatives if they g