286. How To Receive Help as a Christian Dementia Caregiver Without Guilt

“Caregivers are natural givers… when it comes time to ask for help, that guilty voice shows up.” In Episode 286, Linda says, “I hate to ask my sons for help. This is my job, not theirs.”  I answer plainly: “That guilt doesn't protect anyone. It just leaves you drained and makes it harder for you to serve with patience and joy.”

As always, I begin with the exact clarifying prompt: “if you look back six months from today and your caregiving journey is easier. What would need to happen for you to say that you have been able to steward it well, keeping in mind your health and your relationships in the process?”

Linda’s hope is simple: ask her sons for specific times—“a few hours in an evening or on Saturday or Sunday”—to take Dad out. She hesitates because they’re building their own families.

Here’s the reframe I offer:

1) Receiving is part of stewardship. Givers often struggle to receive. But when you never ask, you remove your children’s opportunity to give to you. Offer structured choices and concrete time blocks so they can put it on the calendar.

2) Let “no” be an honest answer. Sons are heads of their households; sometimes the right answer is no. Don’t take it personally. Use that no to pursue other provision: church friends, paid caregivers, wider community. The need you identified is respite—find it.

3) Take one action step. After the call I ask, “What is the one action step you will take?” Start with your children; if they can’t, line up help elsewhere. Longitudinal support matters—join early so you’re not guessing alone.

If you want steady, faith-centered help, the Christian DigniCare Society offers lifetime access, monthly AMAs, prayer, and a curated library—plus a 15-minute welcome call if you join before year-end.  Or come to Ask the Dementia Coach live on September 20.  You don’t have to carry this alone.

 

💬 What Do I Say When Dementia Makes Words Hard? ✝️ Speak Calm, Not Just Words Get “What Do I Say? How to Connect with Your Loved One with Dementia” — a free guide for Christian caregivers navigating confusion, repetition, and emotional moments. ✅ 10 ready-to-use scripts ✅ Rooted in Scripture ✅ Built on the Therapeutic Truth-Telling™ model 📥 Download the guide now: https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/script

 

🤝 You Don’t Have to Do This Alone Join other Christian caregivers who are walking this road too — and learning how to care with compassion, clarity, and faith. 👥 Join the free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportforchristians

 

🗣️ Ask Your Question Live — and Be Heard Bring your real-life caregiving questions to Ask the Dementia Coach — our free monthly Q&A session. You’ll get support, clarity, and maybe even be featured on the podcast. 🗓️ Brought to you every month! 🎤 Register here: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/ask

 

🎓 Want to Reduce Overwhelm Right Now? Join our free workshop: How to Immediately Reduce Dementia Caregiver Overwhelm and Stress — in 3 Simple Steps ✅ Practical tools ✅ Faith-informed strategies ✅ Same-day results 🎟️ Reserve your seat: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/wsl

 

🧭 Still Feeling Stuck? If you’re wondering what’s underneath your stress, the Caregiver Stress Assessment can help clarify what’s really weighing you down — so you can take your next step with peace. 📊 Take the free assessment: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/dca

 

❤️ Enjoy This Podcast? Leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Christian caregivers find encouragement and real help. 🎧 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts