August 22, 2025 • 68 mins
Join Lynn Murphy and Wendy Cole in this enlightening episode of 'Demystifying the Transgender Journey' as they sit down with Tiffany Rossdale, a Tokyo-based actor, producer, and LGBTQIA+ advocate. Tiffany shares her incredible journey from the Philippines to Japan, detailing her transition, the challenges faced, and her advocacy work for the LGBTQIA+ community. This episode dives into her personal story, experiences with acceptance, and her notable contributions including the 'We Exist' documentary series and the 'Breakfast with Tiffany Show' podcast. A must-watch for those seeking to understand the transgender experience and the importance of visibility and empathy.
For more information:
https://www.facebook.com/breakfastwithtiffanyshow
https://www.instagram.com/tiffanyrossdaleofficial/
https://www.tiffanyrossdale.com/
https://www.tiffanyrossdale.com/podcast
https://www.instagram.com/wexistjapan
https://www.facebook.com/eastboundtrafficfilm
https://www.thetransgenderjourney.com
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/demystifying-the-transgender-journey/id1799458202
https://womenwhopushthelimits.com
https://www.facebook.com/wendycolegtm
https://www.youtube.com/@wendycole8326
https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-cole-gtm
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And I told my mom like,
(00:01):
Where are the girls working?
I know that they're here.
I don't know where they are.
Can you guide me?
Can you take me to that placeand maybe I can be one of them.
So she asked and then she took meto the club and I was so excited.
And I came to this cabaret bar, whichis kind of a old theater, but for me
it was even if like, not like gorgeousor not something like Vegas, you
(00:24):
know, like when you go to Vegas shows.
Right.
It's not like that.
But for me it was like, a Disneyland.
I'm like,
Oh my gosh.
All these beautiful girlsand these performers.
And I just knew from thenthat this is my space.
I want to be here.
I want to be like them.
What do you really know aboutpeople who were born transgender?
Have you ever met someonewho's transgender?
Well, if you're like me, you'recurious but hesitant to ask questions.
(00:46):
Well, welcome to Demystifyingthe Transgender Journey.
In our conversations with people who wereborn transgender, their families, friends,
and their professionals who support them,
we ask probing questions and discover
insightful and educational answers.
You can also find more
information on our website,
thetransgenderjourney.com.
Now let's get right into today's episode.
(01:09):
Welcome everybody to anotherepisode of Demystifying the
Transgender Journey, brought toyou by Women who Push the Limits.
I'm one of your hosts, Lynn Murphy.
Our other host, Wendy Cole, is here today.
I am the cisgender side ofthis team, and Wendy is the
transgender side of this team.
Wendy transitioned when she was67 years old, and we've been told
that this is kind of a unique thingto have a cisgender woman and a
(01:31):
transgender woman co-hosting a podcast.
And our goal is to humanize thetransgender experience, and as our title
says, demystifying that, we're doing thatby educating people, by sharing stories.
It's so important to hear the truthand to hear real people share stories.
We're planting seeds so thatpeople can understand more about
(01:54):
the transgender experience.
So our goal to educate peopleand telling stories is what our
fabulous guest today is so good at.
So let me introduce theamazing Tiffany Rossdale.
And Tiffany is a Tokyo based actor,producer, and LGBTQIA+ advocate with
(02:16):
over three decades of lived experience inJapan, originally from the Philippines.
She's a transgender woman andpowerful, powerful storyteller.
Tiffany is known for her authenticity,emotional depth, and unwavering
commitment to visibility and inclusion.
She's fluent in Japanese,English, and Tagalog, allowing
(02:36):
her to connect meaningfully withvery, very diverse communities.
Her debut feature movie Eastbound Trafficis set for release later this year.
Features Tiffany in a lead roleas a Filipino trans woman running
an international hostess club.
Sounds like it's maybe basedon a little bit of her life.
It's an emotionally charged performanceshaped by four years of intensive
(02:59):
training and method acting techniques.
Tiffany is also the producer of aproducer and host of We Exist, a
groundbreaking documentary seriesthat premiered in July, 2024.
It chronicles the lives and storiesof LGBTQIA+ individuals in Japan.
Now, beyond her work in film andmedia, Tiffany serves as an LGBTQIA+
(03:24):
consultant advising global brands,organizations, and institutions on
inclusive practices, gender sensitivity,and culturally aware storytelling.
Her expertise has made her atrusted voice in shaping respectful
representation and meaningfulengagement with marginalized community.
(03:44):
Tiffany is the host of her ownlong Running Breakfast with Tiffany
Show podcast, where she sharesempowering conversations with LGBTQ
community individuals from aroundthe world promoting wellness,
authenticity, and global solidarity.
So with a passion for advocacyand a mission to create space for
(04:06):
underrepresented voices, Tiffanycontinues to bridge cultures,
challenge norms, and inspiretransformation one story at a time.
So welcome Tiffany.
Thank you for being here today.
I'm incredibly honored to share myjourney and the work I'm passionate about.
So thank you.
Proud
to have you here today, Tiffany.
(04:28):
Delighted, and you're the one whoalways tells other people's stories.
So today we want you to tell your story.
So tell us a little bit, I, you saidyou were born in the Philippines.
You moved to Japan, and I know youhad a career that wasn't exactly
your cup of tea to begin with.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour background and how that
(04:48):
got you where you are today.
Oh, that'll be a long story.
Okay.
But to simplify everything yeah,I grew up in the Philippines.
I was in the Philippines until I was 18.
And the reason that I moved here from18 years old is because my mother was
already here and she was married to aJapanese man, which is my stepfather.
(05:10):
And she told me that if I'm, if Iwanted to try and live in Japan,
then you have to come here beforeyou get over age because they're not
going to be able to give me a visa.
So I'm really grateful for thatopportunity and I'm glad I chose to
come here and live here and see what it.
What it feels like living in Japanbecause I, living in the Philippines,
(05:32):
I didn't have any clue at all.
What's it like living here in Japan?
I know that my mother was heremy mother came here when I was
about seven years old, so she wasliving here for such a long time.
I, she never, every time she goes backto the Philippines, she never would
explain or tell me about what's itlike in Japan or anything like that.
(05:53):
So I didn't have any clue at all.
And I wanted to go to the US andthat's because in, in the Philippines
during '80s and '90s, we were verymuch immersed into the pop culture, the
us like all this like cable channels.
(06:14):
Like I'm, I've been watching likeMTVs and I've always been like all
these Hollywood movies and I alwaysthought oh, I want to go there someday.
I want to be there.
I can be myself in the US more than.
The Philippines.
And that's because in the PhilippinesI grew up being unique and in, in the
schools, or not even in schools, evenoutside the schools, I always get bullied.
(06:38):
And it's just it was justnormal to me, like every day.
Like someone called me,like derogatory words.
Like in the Philippines theycall it Bakla, Bakla means gay.
Or faggot in the US I think.
So they always say that word.
I always hear that word.
And I'm just so numbhearing it every time.
I was in that transition of understandingabout my gender identity at a very young
age, and I didn't have any resources.
(07:00):
Right?
I didn't have any informationabout me, about my gender identity.
What I was lucky when I wasin the Philippines was when I
had my peers, because in thePhilippines there are so many.
I think living in Japan for many years,it wasn't easy for me to recognize
(07:21):
people if they're part of the community.
But in the Philippines, because we'reso much presence in every- I would
not say every class in the Philippineshas an LGBT person, but I see them
around and like connecting withthem and forming a group together.
And suddenly we became a dancegroup that we were joining
(07:43):
like different dance contests.
And it's been my core groupof being myself and not
thinking about like who I am.
Because my family, my mother's relativeswho's taking care of us, didn't really
want to accept, I guess, me for who I am.
(08:04):
So whenever I'm with my peers, I alwaysfeel like, you know, it's so much fun.
We always had a good laugh.
We create this amazing dance steps.
So it's been great that I have thatbecause that's been a place for me where
I feel safe that I can be who I am, and Ican also be expressive about my identity,
(08:26):
although I'm still in that transition.
Like, who am I really?
And then every time we jointhe dance contest, and in the
Philippines, we always have like this.
Fiesta, which is everytown has their own fiesta.
And we would join like contestsand normally they would have like
singing contest, dance contest,um, Ms. Gay Beauty Contest, we
(08:48):
call it, they still call it Ms.
Gay Beauty Con, which isa transgender pageant.
And then I saw beautiful womenjoining that contest, and I
always had been intrigued like,
Why?
Like how can they be so beautifuland how can they transition like
this, you know, like to be a fullypassable, beautiful transgender woman.
(09:09):
And I always heard that they allalways go to Japan to work and
stay in Japan for a little bit.
And they would comeback to the Philippines.
And that's and because in the Philippineswe don't have the job that we can do.
I think there are a few of myfriends who's doing like hair
(09:30):
stylists or hair and makeup.
But in the Philippines, because we don'thave any law, we don't have any rights.
So like there's no, you know,representation, like seeing people
from the community or transgenderwomen, working in different
kinds of, fields or industries.
So did they go to Japan to transition?
Yes.
(09:50):
A lot of them.
They would go to Japan because part ofthat is also, they can save money and
then they would go to the transition.
And then I was always intrigued, andthat made me really decided that I have
to go to Japan, and my mother is there.
So, I took that opportunity and Ithought like, yeah, like maybe I
should just go to Japan and findout how they go with the transition.
(10:12):
And that's the start.
Like when I came here, I findout that they work in a cabaret
shows and they earn tips.
In the Philippines they havethis misconception about women
or trans women working in Japan.
They would call them Japayuki.
Japayuki means- it's not a reallygood term in the Philippines, it
(10:34):
means like you're going to Japan andworking there as a sex worker, or
you know, doing something like that.
But it's not really the reality.
Yes, Wendy,
It seems like the Philippines is notthat accepting and they also are equating
being transgender with sex and being gay.
(10:57):
Yes, yes, yes, exactly.
So even with my mother, my motherleft when I was seven, eight years old
and I was still in elementary school.
I could not tell my friends thatmy mother is in Japan working.
Because they would think like,
Oh, your mother is in Japan.
She's Japayuki?
you know, like I, it was such a shamefor me to tell my friends or my school
(11:21):
mates that my mother is in Japan.
Which I realized when I come hereand my mother's is not really,
she's not doing that kind of work.
She was actually just working,and she found a husband, and
she's just working in a factory.
And that's where I started working too.
She told me like,
The job here for you will be ifyou're not going to go to school.
Because she said if I want to continuemy school, which I was in college in the
(11:45):
Philippines, you can go to college here,or university, or you can start working.
And because when I came hereback in the '90s, there's not
a lot of foreigners in Japan.
And also the language, I have tolearn the language and I don't
know about Japanese at all.
So I thought like, I can'tprobably go to university.
(12:05):
Maybe I just have to start at work.
My idea is to find thosetrans women where they work.
But my mother was againstit because she was like,
You cannot go there.
Are you going to come here andjust start doing whatever you like?
You have to be respectfulwith your father.
Because my stepfather didn't knowI'm flamboyant or anything like,
um, my gender identity and all that.
She never told him.
(12:27):
So you had transitioned physicallyyour outward appearance, you
had transitioned at that point?
Not yet.
No?
I, I wasn't transitioned yet.
Oh, okay.
It did start, when I was inthe Philippines, I did start
taking, um, hormone pills.
We didn't have any like HRT oranything like that back in the days.
We just receive like hormonepills from our peers.
(12:47):
And they would say,
Oh, you should take that.
It's good for you.
Like it makes you more, youknow, like feminine and all that.
So I would take those.
No medical support.
Yes.
No, not at all.
And we just believe like,
okay, if I have that pill,I'm going to be feminine,
you know?
So I came here and I'm livingwith them in the same house.
So I was like living with them for ayear, and working in a factory where
(13:10):
I didn't want to work in a factory.
Because that factory also is, youremember back in the days when
the computer was just released,Windows, you know, all this.
They have such many factories inJapan that they, you know, hire
all this immigrants, like allthese people from the Philippines.
And I'm not sure what other countrieswere there during that time, but
(13:32):
we were working in a factory.
I didn't like the job because we, we holdthe chips and we put it, we dry it up.
But I always get like staticfrom all this like chips.
And I like, I don't like this job.
And I told my mom like,
Where are the girls who's working?
I know that they're here, butI don't know where they are.
Can you guide me?
Can you take me to that place and maybefind out and I can be one of them.
(13:55):
But she was against it untilshe just really felt that
I don't feel like working.
I'm not like in mood every time working.
Because we're in the same factory, right.
And she's just told me like in Japanthere's like a community of Filipinos,
so she knows where the girls work.
And she has a lot of Filipino friendshere that knows where the girls work.
(14:17):
So she asked and then she took meto the club and I was so excited.
And I came to this cabaret bar, whichis a old theater, but for me it was
even if's like not like, gorgeous ornot something like Vegas, you know,
like when you go to Vegas shows,
Right.
It's not like that.
But for me it was like a Disneyland.
I'm like,
Oh my gosh.
Like, you know, like all thesebeautiful girls and these performers.
(14:39):
And I just knew from thenthat this is my space.
I want to be here, I want to be like them.
And I'm glad that she went with me,my mother, because she was actually
talking to some of the girls.
Like the girls were likeabout the same age as hers.
Some are younger like me, but majorityof the girls are like a little older.
And they were telling her advices, like
(15:00):
If she wanted to transition,why not let her transition?
You know, like all this conversations.
And that made her decide that
Okay.
Like, because I think she got allthis information from the girls that,
mm-hmm.
That can be me.
Because she didn't know nothingabout what a transgender like,
what is it like to be me?
(15:22):
So she doesn't know how to raise, shedoesn't know how to communicate with me.
So basically no knowledge at all.
So when she went there, she understoodand she agreed, and she just told me,
I'm going to separate youin a different apartment.
We're going to rent an apartmentand you start your life, but you
are not going to come to our houseand show yourself like in drag or
(15:42):
whatever to show to your stepfather.
So that's how it allstarted, my transition.
Oh, wow.
She finally saw that there wassomething that you were attracted
to and she could see that it wasn'tas weird as she thought or as,
Yes.
And she was amazed.
She was also amazed by allthis beautiful trans women.
And then I told her like, I'm going tostart transitioning to all the surgeries.
(16:03):
For example I have to have a breastimplants because you've seen the
girls, they're not going to have tipsif they don't have beautiful breast.
Right?
You have to fit the modelthat they're looking for.
Exactly.
And so did you have other surgeries too?
You've got such a beautiful face.
Thank you.
(16:24):
The very first, uh, surgery that Idid was my nose job and my breast
implants together at the same time.
Mm-hmm.
And then after that I did my fulltransition SRS, which is sexual
reassignment surgery, but that tooka while because I have to save money.
So working in those cabaret, performing,I did save money and then I went
to Thailand to do my transition.
(16:46):
Oh, you did that there.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
I've heard that Thailand is more open.
It's a different culture I thinkbecause my husband worked in the
Philippines for a few years, and wevisited there and visited Thailand.
And just the whole energy of the twoplaces that we visited were so different.
Mm.
Philippines is so patriarchal.
(17:07):
Yes.
And and when it comes to surgeons,there's so many surgeons in Thailand that
you can select which surgeons you have.
Not as much as we have like now , Ithink there's more than ever now,
right.
But like I did my full, like mySRS in 2000-something, I forgot,
like it was a long time ago.
Even during that time we didn'thave that much information.
(17:28):
A lot of the information coming fromthe girls that I work with or like I
encounter with, like, they would giveme like, oh, like this, this surgeon
was good, this surgeon was that.
And we had one surgeon inJapan, a Japanese surgeon who
was doing it illegally, likeunder, you know, the table.
Like he was so famous with thecommunity because he was doing it.
He's the only one doing it in Japan.
(17:50):
And all the girls werealways telling that,
Oh, you have to go with that surgeonbecause he knows how to make it depth,
like the depth of the vagina.
If it's deeper, for Filipino transwomen, they would think that when they
have intercourse with a straight guy,they will not know that they're trans.
(18:16):
So they have that mentality.
So a lot of girls would go to him but I'veheard there's some girls who had some,
um, some issues with after the surgery.
I've heard there's one or twolike die because of the surgery.
So I was so scared that time, likemaybe I'm not going to go with him.
I just have to probably go to Thailandand maybe I have more option in Thailand.
(18:38):
And I was lucky because I hada few friends who gave me great
advice about the surgeon inThailand and I went with my sister.
I flew in my sister from the Philippineswith me to take care of me and I
stayed in town for a month for recoveryand everything and it's been great.
Good.
Just thinking about not havingthe medical care that we're so
(19:01):
used to here in the United States.
You had to kinda do it on the fly.
You were concerned.
You didn't know whether youwere going to live or die.
If you were staying in Japan tohave it done, what a horrible
thing to have to deal with.
When you're so torn between being yourselfand wanting to do what you needed to do to
live authentically, but then to the risk.
(19:25):
Yes.
So that's great thatyou brought it up, Lynn.
Thank you.
I'm not sure if Wendy felt that waybecause maybe when Wendy did her
transition, correct me if I'm wrong,Wendy, maybe because you have so much
information when you did already.
Like, during my time, I didn'thave that much information.
So even when I went to Thailand, evenknowing that the surgeon walked me through
everything about what's going to be like
(19:45):
mm-hmm.
I was so scared and I was cryingbefore the day I was doing my surgery
because I cannot go back once I do it.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm glad I had my sister with mewhere I can feel safe that I know that
when I wake up or, or not, she's there.
And she's with me.
You know?
And when I also had a conversationwith my mother about my
(20:10):
transition, she was not approving.
She was not approvingthat I have to do it.
Mm-hmm.
And that's when I really knew thatmy mother wasn't really accepting
of who I am, because I was justasking her about maybe like,
Okay,
you know,
good luck
or anything like that.
But she didn't give me any, any wordsthat will encourage me to do the surgery.
(20:35):
She rather put it inall in a negative, like,
You're going to regret it,
you're going to,
you know, all this and
Okay.
Then I felt like that moment, thatmoment when I found out, like she didn't
really still accept me for who I am.
And of course that's becauseof lack of knowledge about
Right.
how a transgender life should be.
So I'm glad I had my sister whobacked me up and supported me
(20:58):
with all this, and I felt safe.
And after my surgery, I went to thePhilippines also to talk to my dad,
although he knew already that I, I wentto transition, but he was more upset.
He was like more understanding.
Even though he doesn't understand.
But what he told me,
If that's what you like whatyou want to do with your life,
then go on just don't be-
My dad is a very religious person.
(21:19):
He would just always say like,
Just don't forget to pray to God
or whatever, like, when, whenever youdecide things that you're not sure.
Um, but I feel like my dad was moreaccepting about my gender than my mother.
So is your mother accepting now or,I mean, it's been quite a while.
Good question, Lynn!
I think still not.
I think that never changed.
(21:40):
I think she still doesn't understandwhat, how, why I have to choose
the path that I want to go through.
And we never still had that conversationabout me doing the transition.
And, like what she think about,like, even though she didn't
approve, I still went, you know?
(22:01):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we still didn't have anyconversation about that but I feel
like she still doesn't accept itbecause she doesn't know anything.
So now I'm trying toput more of a boundary.
We never see each otheras often as before.
Oh, okay.
But I'm in touch with her.
When did you have yourvaginoplasty surgery?
(22:21):
That was, oh my gosh.
That was like when I was 22, 23.
And that was like maybemore than 20 years.
Okay.
That was over 20 years ago then?
Uh, yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, there was not much informationaround at all then at all, anywhere.
How did, how was your research ondoctors in Thailand and how did
(22:45):
all that come together for you?
How difficult was that?
Or is it readily available?
It is readily available because therewere already surgeons in Thailand.
There are not many, probably 10 youknow, legit surgeons during that time.
Again, because of the other girls,they go to the same surgeon and they
(23:07):
explain to me like how the process,and how they would go through, and of
course, I reached out online to thesurgeon and asked questions before I
really booked it and went to Thailand.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
You know what I think is remarkable isthat you had a community of other trans
women, and like Wendy, had nobody around.
(23:28):
We've talked to other transgenderwomen, one woman that I interviewed
to this day doesn't really knowanybody else who's transgender.
And she transitioned in the '90s, butto have that community there where
even though it wasn't maybe the bestinformation, but it was information.
You could see how they were living, theywere sharing their stories with you,
(23:49):
sharing doctors, and advice, and all that.
Did that feel like there was agroup supporting you there then?
Oh, absolutely.
I think I would not go through withall of the transition right away if
it wasn't like all this informationI'm getting from the girls.
And it's because some of them they alreadywent through it like for many years before
(24:10):
I even transitioned because I was savinga lot of money to do the transition.
So it took me a while.
While I'm saving the money, I'm havingall these conversations with the girls,
like girls who did it before me, andthose informations really help a lot.
Were they all supportive?
Was there jealousy?
What was the relationship withyou and these other women?
Oh, good question.
(24:32):
So the jealousy thing, I felt it when theyfound out that I can live here without
thinking about coming back in Japan.
Because the visa process to come here as aperformer during that time was so strict.
And they have to go through like theauditions, the rehearsals, the agent,
(24:58):
and then when it come to Japan, likesome other people will manage them
and then they will stay here forlike three or six months and then
they will go back to the Philippines.
And when the management here foundout that especially the popular girls,
the clients wants those girls again.
So they will be requested to come back.
But if they're not requested, theyhave to go through the process again,
(25:20):
like from zero and start again.
So when they found out about me, likeskipping all that and I can be here
and because my mom gave me a visa.
My stepfather gave me a visato live as a resident in Japan.
That's when I felt like there wassome jealousy because whenever I
go around with clients, they wouldnot like introduce me properly.
They would not like, youknow, talk to me directly.
(25:42):
But most of the girls arevery friendly because Filipino
community are always like together.
But you know, because they haveto work hard, they're very, um,
competitive when it comes to working.
Especially with tips.
Especially with tips.
I have a picture that your communityis largely other Filipino girls.
(26:03):
Mm-hmm.
Are there Japanese girls?
Hmm, great question, Wendy.
The very first time I worked withthat place that my mom took me.
Right.
And I worked there for a year.
And then I realized because of all thisjealousies, all this you know, like,
the girls are not liking me that much.
I moved to different placesof the, kind of the same vibe.
(26:26):
And then I found one place that Iworked from for like, at least I
worked there for more than 10 years.
And that's the place that I'monly the Filipino trans woman
and they're all Japanese.
Okay.
I felt like I'm more, I'm more okaybecause probably because I'm different
and they cannot like, really control me.
(26:47):
Of course there's hierarchy between thegirls who worked there before than me.
But I didn't care as much as, like,for example, if a Filipino trans woman
like will do that to me, I feel like
why we have to do that to me?
Like I thought like
We're same country.
We have to support each other.
But for Japanese I would be like,
Oh, whatever, you know?
What was the biggest challengewith your transition?
(27:08):
The biggest challenge, I would saythat I accepting myself really fully.
Because when I did mysexual reassignment, or my
SRS, I started to think that,oh, I can be just a woman.
I don't have to like, you know, share myidentity of being a transgender to anyone.
(27:34):
And I built that different persona of me.
Right.
We don't have to be out theretelling ourselves that we're trans.
And, and part of that is also the safety,because I had experience a few times
I went to the US, not letting someoneknow that I'm trans, and I almost got
(27:55):
killed after they found out I'm trans.
So that also made me realize the safety.
Where is the right timing?
Like, when, when should I tell?
Because when it comes to sexual, I prefer,um, straight men, cisgender men, right?
Mm-hmm.
So I would I would always like, gofor them, but then like, they're not
(28:19):
either interested to trans women.
So
that acceptance of me being atransgender woman took me a long
time after making that persona of,
I don't have to tell them.
I had relationship right,
when I told them that, I got heartbrokenbecause they didn't accept me who I am.
(28:41):
So I think that transition was the mostdifficult and challenging for me, rather
than the physical transition that I had.
I think in something that you saidor something that I read, that the
man who broke your heart was reallya tough thing for you to get through.
Yes.
Was that the one youwere just speaking of?
Yes.
Yes, exactly.
(29:02):
And I always look at things thathappen like that and think, What's
the lesson that you learned from that?
The lesson I've learned fromthat is like really accepting
who I am or for the person I am.
If the person is not going toaccept me for who I am, then I
think that's not the person for me.
And I don't have to live in alie where I have to hide myself
(29:26):
because they will not accept me.
Basically, I'm lookingfor approval, right?
Like from them, if they'regoing to accept me or not.
And of course I came to the pointnow like I don't have to do that.
I have to just really fully accept whoI am, to be able to have the person
that really accept me for who I am.
(29:46):
Okay, so you identify asa heterosexual female?
Mm,
Same here.
Yes.
I dated,
I remember that
for two years, 2018 and 2019.
And everything was fine.
The one thing that I've experiencedwas that constant little nagging
voice in the back of my headgoing, what if he finds out?
(30:10):
Yes.
And what I didn't realize is when I putmyself online in 2020, by the end of
that year, the last guy I dated found me.
And it was kind of a freak out.
And that's the way my sociallife has been ever since.
They can Google your name, theycan Google my name, and when you
(30:33):
Google us, everything comes up.
So I just prefer actually to justget it out of the way up front.
I don't reveal my past to friends orpeople that I meet until I know that
(30:54):
it's relevant and that they're probablygoing to be in my life for a while.
Is that pretty much theway you handle it too?
I'm just curious.
Hmm, absolutely.
Yeah.
I really agree.
Like being upfront, you'll knowright away if they're for you or not.
If you're very upfront andtelling them about your identity.
Like you don't have to tellall your past and all that.
(31:14):
Of course, if you becomein a relationship,
That's the different story.
Right.
That they would understand you and bemore supportive, then I think that's
where you can probably share more.
Mm-hmm.
Well, that's the whole idea ofbeing open in the relationship
is now that's a non-issue.
(31:35):
They're okay with us and we can goforward and have a normal relationship
like any other couple would.
So do you find it easy to date,difficult to date, or do you
just avoid it all together?
Linda, love your questions.
It's still, uh, up, up until now, it'sstill not easy for trans women to do
(31:58):
dating and I also know that becauseI have friends who I actually have
communication about their dating life.
And for trans women, it's verymuch a challenge, although there
are, there are friends of mine whoalso have successful relationships.
But majority still, it's not easyto navigate, especially if you are,
(32:18):
if you're looking for a straightperson to be in a relationship.
I have a friend who wasconvinced before surgery,
mm,
she was going to date nothing but women.
Mm.
Men were gross.
Since her surgery, she'sdated nothing but men.
(32:39):
And it's eight years now or so.
And her boyfriend moved in, dropped theL word, and then she decided to tell him.
Mm.
So they've been dating for like sixmonths to a year and he had no clue.
(33:00):
No idea.
And fortunately, when she did come out tohim, he thought about it for a little bit.
Not a problem.
That he fell in lovewith her, not her past.
So I, I think some blendof that's the ideal.
(33:22):
But also my friend didn't havethe social media presence.
Hmm.
Couldn't Google her.
She was living stealth.
And revealing to only people that werein her past, but no one in her present.
You transitioned quite a few years ago.
Right?
So what kind of relationship do you havewith the person that you used to be?
(33:45):
I don't think I'm saying this right.
How do you feel about your male past?
Okay, Wendy, that, that's amuch better way to say it.
Thanks, Wendy.
Thank you, Wendy.
I actually don't have that relationshipwith my old self anymore, although,
like, for example, like the memoriesof my childhood, because I had
(34:06):
such a very rough childhood, somany memories still comes back.
Traumas.
Because of the traumas, exactly.
But my old self before my transition,I actually, I don't have that anymore.
I think I, I made peacewith that past already.
I am just living in themoment of who I am now.
(34:27):
Good for you.
Thank you.
That's great.
And you said at one point you hadkind of a spiritual awakening, that
there's more of a spiritual approach.
Tell us more about that and how thatinfluences who you are and what you do.
Thank you.
Yeah, so I grew up Catholic and thePhilippines are very much Roman Catholic.
(34:48):
And my mother's parents, mygrandparents are also like very
strict, very much Catholic.
And also, same with my father'sside, my father's side.
And growing up, being a Catholic, Ialways thought like, because in the
Philippines they would think that
if you start talking aboutgender identity, what the
(35:09):
Filipinos would say to you, like,
But that's not written in the Bible.
The Bible says like only men and women.
So I kind of question about my religion.
Why if that's written in a Bible,
but then why, why am I here,why do I have to be like this?
You know, like my gender identity.
So before I came to Japan, there's a thingthat I did because my father was very
(35:31):
much Catholic and he was telling me like,
If you have a wish, goto this church in Manila.
It's a famous, famouschurch for Filipinos and.
He would say that you go there andif you go there weekly and nine
weeks, of consecutively doing it.
And then if you complete it and you havea wish or whatever, it will come true.
(35:55):
And that's the time my mother startstalking about coming here in Japan
and she's still explaining thatit's, although like, yeah, of course
you can come here, we can have you.
But the visa process of all thedocuments and everything will take time.
And I thought
Okay, so that will take timeand that takes a lot of process.
Then maybe I should go forthat as my wish and do this,
(36:19):
what my father said about like this,going to this church and praying
and just continue doing it weekly.
And I did, and even during that timewhen I was doing it for nine weeks,
and I had a boyfriend during thattime, back then in the Philippines,
sometimes he would come with me,sometimes he's not going to come with me.
I would go by myself.
And sometimes we have typhoons, right?
I would still go and, and I completedthat nine weeks of going to that church.
(36:44):
And my wish was to come toJapan and the following week
my mom called me and she said,
You have a visa.
You can come to Japan now.
So that made me also clear that like,oh, like I'm connected with my religion.
My religion being aCatholic still, you know.
I always felt close to my religion alsobecause when I was in school in the
(37:06):
Philippines, during high school andcollege, we always have this community
of choirs and I always attended choirs.
Attending those choirs, I always felt likeeven though people see me as different
and unique, they will not judge me.
And I always felt safer there.
Besides the peers that I talked aboutearlier about this dance group community.
(37:28):
These people, because they're very muchreligious, they don't judge other people.
Right.
So I felt safe being in that communityby attending the choir, singing
and then like being in church.
So those two are my my safe space becauseI can't have it at home where I live.
And then when I came to Japan,learning about Buddhism and how their
(37:51):
religion is so much different and Ifound out that being Buddhism, they
don't judge you based from gender.
Like they accept you for who you are,even though you're man, woman, or
trans, or other identity you might have.
They don't judge based on gender.
That made me open to understanding more.
I'm still learning.
I still need to learn a lot aboutBuddhism, but I think because I
(38:13):
live in Japan for many years, I liveover 28 years, going to a temple,
going to a shrine, just payingrespect, and just understanding
what the Buddhism religion is about.
It's showing respect to the cultureand Japan because of me being
able to live here for this long.
(38:33):
Every year I would stay in a very peacefultemple on my New Year's Eve, like doing
some activities with the Buddhist priest,and morning chanting and all that.
I always felt safe, and I always feltlike my year always re-energized,
and I'm always healed and everything.
(38:54):
That's like my ritual now, likegoing to a temple and staying there
for a week and then coming back.
Although I'm still in touchwith churches here in, in Tokyo
too, for a Catholic church.
I would go, but not as often as I used to.
Like in the Philipines Iwould go like quite a lot.
But here I don't have to gothat much, when I have the
opportunity to go to the temple.
I was trying to just like pay respect.
(39:14):
So it broadens up my acceptanceof not just my religion,
but other religion as well.
Right.
Well, I love hearing that you feel safe inthose communities because a lot of people
in the United States who are transgenderdon't feel safe in religious communities.
Exactly.
That seems to be where a lotof the persecution, harassment,
(39:37):
whatever is coming from peoplewho've got this image of
This is how it should be.
Exactly.
And they're just hanging ontothat, making everybody else wrong.
Or like that one mother, weinterviewed Wendy, who's part of the
Mormon faith, and she was told that
Yes
the devil made her child do this and
the devil has her family.
(39:58):
Yeah.
It was just evil.
She had to get rid of this evil.
So it's wonderful to hear that there areplaces in the world where the religious
communities are welcoming and safe.
Would you say that Japan is morewelcoming and safer for people like
us than the United States is now?
(40:22):
Wendy said, I told earlier that.
My, my original plan was to come toJapan and maybe just live here, and
then I really wanted to go to the US.
Because I was immersed in Americanculture and pop culture, I
really wanted to go to the US.
And then when I started travelingfrom Japan, going to the US, I
already lived here, that gave me arealization that I'm not safe in the
(40:44):
US because of the experience that Ihad, I almost got killed twice, which
will not ever happen in Japan for me.
There were a few situations herethat I got, someone following you,
you know, but it's not like you haveto be worried, like they're going
to k*ll me or anything like that.
The, the reason why they're followingyou is because probably they want
to, you know, talk to you or theywant to like be close to you.
(41:07):
But for me when I'm working atnightlife, we finished around 3:00
or 4:00 AM and walking in Tokyoor wherever in Japan is so safe,
even though like that time, right?
Mm-hmm.
But there are some drunk Japanese menwould like, follow you and like, you
know, have a conversation and like,
Ah, I'm done.
Like, you're finished work and justwant to get home and everything.
And you know, some guyswould like approach you.
(41:28):
So it's not like you have to beworried that someone's following
you, they might k*ll you, they mightr*pe you or anything like that.
It's not like that.
So I never felt that in Japan thatI think that it's really safe.
That's why I live here for this long.
Right.
Even not considering going back to myown country in the Philippines, because
I thought, like in the Philippines, theynever respected me in the Philippines.
(41:50):
They never really fully acceptedme for who I am in the Philippines.
That's why here I felt like peoplehere are very respectful, whoever you
wanted to be, and even though we don'thave the legal rights, and the gay
marriage equality and all that here yet,people respect you for who you are as
a human being and they don't intrudeyou, like whatever you want to do.
(42:12):
I see people who, like in, inTokyo, I don't even know if they're
transgender or not like, or they'repart of our community, but some
of them like doing cross-dressing.
And people don't care.
They don't look at those type ofpeople like they're weird or they're
strange or anything like that.
Normally that happens in the weekendbecause all this of course, you know that
(42:34):
The events and everything elseand people getting together.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Maybe I'm lucky too, because people inJapan, they don't really see me as trans.
They rather probably seeme as a foreign woman.
Right.
Or just simply as a beautiful woman.
Appreciate it.
But yeah, they don't really think aboutidentity like gender, you know, what's
(42:55):
your gender identity and all that.
So when I was working in a cabaretshow, because they all know that women,
there are all trans women, they would ofcourse assume like all women are trans.
See, that's the double standard that alot of societies, especially men have.
We're okay to perform anddo various things for them,
(43:16):
but we're not okay to date.
Right.
And it's interesting that the laws inJapan are not as open as they're in
the United States, but yet everythingseems to be much more accepting there.
I bet that's because of the Buddhism.
Mm-hmm.
And Zen Buddhism is very embracing.
(43:40):
Mm-hmm.
I, part of that is correct, Wendy.
And then I, I don't know yet,like the entire history of
the queer culture in Japan.
But what I've heard is back inthe time, there were already queer
people who was performing, forexample, the Kabuki performers.
Mm-hmm.
They cannot have women perform on stage.
(44:02):
So men would do drag and theywould perform as Kabuki performers.
And some of them were queer.
But they never really had thatproblem even during that time.
Right.
Well, you go back to Shakespeare'stime and women couldn't perform then.
Men were performingwomen's roles on stage.
That's why when I see people getso upset about cross-dressers
(44:23):
or the transgender issues.
Why?
Why is it such a big dealnow in the United States?
Are you seeing that it'sa big deal in Japan?
Or are you just lookingacross the ocean and going,
Oh, that's going on over there.
That's a good point, Lynn.
In the beginning I thought like,
in the US, it's not going to affectus here, what's going on there.
(44:44):
Plus of course, like,we're not even there yet.
Like we, we don't have the legalrep, we don't have everything.
But now because of the work thatI've been doing here- I'm not an
activist, but I'm doing so, so muchadvocacy work for the community.
I get invited to universities,um, corporate companies, to speak
(45:06):
about the documentary and my livedexperience as a transgender woman.
And I got invited to a few bigcompanies in Japan that they wanted
me to speak as one of the panelists.
And because of what's goingon in the US this year.
I think January, February whenthey invited me and then all
things happened in the US, right.
(45:28):
What they told me was happeningin the US, they cannot confirm the
event for this particular topicbecause they also have a branch in
the US that needs to be approved.
So I felt like,
oh, even though it's not, even thoughwe're not in the US, I'm, I'm feeling it.
(45:50):
Like what's going on in the US.
Because it's not just happeningonce, it happened twice.
Oh, that's interesting.
That's frightening thatit's reaching that far.
The tentacles are out thereaffecting things that far away.
A Japanese corporation couldn'thave you speak because they have
business in the United States.
(46:11):
Yeah, same, same company
That's horrible.
Yeah.
They're far reaching with all this stuff.
And I'm sure it's even worse inthe US with all these issues.
But learning that it also affects othercountries, not even part of the US.
It's just sad.
Yeah.
(46:31):
So even though you have, as a transgenderwoman, you have no legal rights, no
legal ID, and have to use your oldID, you're still better treated,
and better respected, and betteraccepted than you are in the United
States where we have all that stuff.
(46:53):
Absolutely.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's why I live here, Wendy.
Talk about whacked out.
So you still have to use your genderassigned at birth on your passport?
In Japan though, they have a system thatif you do all this, the reassignment
surgery and all that, they canchange your gender mark and name.
(47:14):
But because I am not a Japanesecitizen, I'm still a Filipino citizen.
In Philippines, we don't have alaw in the Philippines that you can
change your gender mark or your name.
Interesting.
So when you travel, you haveto travel under your passport?
Yes.
I want to also share this:
Every time I travel in the US, thevery first time I was traveling there,
(47:35):
like when, when US doesn't reallyfocus on LGBT and all that yet- coming
from Japan and traveling to the US,
Like the early 2000's.
Yes, exactly.
During that time, theywould always interrogate me.
They would always put me in adifferent room, an hour just
like finding all this, like,
What are you going to do in the US?
and
Why are you bringing likeyour heels and your clothes?
(47:57):
I'm like,
I'm traveling!
Like all these questions.
Because I think during that time, theyhave this misconception that all women
are trans women coming from Asia isgoing to work in the US as sex workers.
And I understand that, butnot all of us are sex workers.
And I always tell them,I have my return ticket.
(48:19):
I always show them my return ticket.
I have my return ticket and Idon't even want to live in the US.
I just want to come here and, you know,have a vacation and go back to Japan.
So this was all happening nowin the US Wendy and Lynn, like.
I don't feel safe to go again.
Like, because after uh, all theselegal rights were approved in
(48:39):
the US, gay marriage equality,all of those integrations stopped
whenever I travel to the US.
Just like, check, okay.
Like they let me in.
But I think now, I think it's goingto go back to that interrogations
and all that happened in the past.
Which I don't want to go backbecause it was trauma for me.
Every time I land in theairport, I've always felt like,
(49:00):
Oh my gosh, they're goingto interrogate me again.
I don't feel safe.
And there are a lot of people who don'tfeel safe coming to the United States.
A lot of these countries are saying,
If there's any chance that anythingcould be questioned, don't even go.
So, economically that'saffecting the United States.
Thanks to the current regime.
(49:20):
But hopefully we will getpast that in a few years.
Hope.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Well, what surprises youthe most about your life?
Oh, this is a good question, Lynn.
Um, I think what surprises me is thateven though I'm unique and different,
even though I'm a transgenderperson, I can go with my life.
(49:43):
I can still live my life and be who I am.
Even though, of course,there were challenges.
There was so much challenges,especially back in the day.
There are many challenges I face.
But even though I have allthose challenges, I still got
through it and I'm still here.
(50:04):
I'm alive.
That surprises me.
It's not a choice.
Yeah.
It's something you needed to do.
Hmm.
So what drives you to do that?
What's your motivation for doing thatand for going through all these things?
I think it's because the acceptancethat we still don't have as trans
(50:24):
people, as transgender, as LGBTpeople, that really motivates me to do
the work that I'm doing now, sharingstories, my podcast, a documentary,
and representing the community.
Because for example, in Japan, whenit comes to representation, we don't
(50:45):
have a lot of representation here.
And that's how I started to be an actor.
I thought like,
Okay, then if there's no LGBT actorin Japan, then maybe I can do that.
And I found out I love acting andthat can be like the persona that
I was doing, you know, like theother Tiffany that I told earlier.
Like, building a personaof a different person.
(51:06):
I can do that when I'm acting.
So that really keeps me motivated.
And also the people thatreally appreciates what I do.
Really, allies.
Allies like you, Lynn, you're amazing.
And having you on the podcast and hearinghow you do the work for the community
(51:27):
that you're not even a part with, like ourcommunity, me and Wendy, is so incredible.
Like, having allies like you thatreally, really supports the community,
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Well, thank you.
I know you're, you are interviewingpeople on your podcast, you meet
a lot of people in the community.
What advice would you give, from yourexperience and from everybody you've
(51:47):
talked to's experience, what advicewould you give someone who's not really
sure whether they want to transition?
They're kind of, at the pointof questioning and struggling
with making that decision.
What do they do?
Why do they do it?
What would you tell them?
Hmm.
I think hearing so many stories from ourcommunity, like with different gender
(52:09):
identities and my own experience, myown lived experience, I think listening
to your own intuition and listeningto the the timing that you are ready
to come out, the timing that you areready to talk about yourself, the timing
that you're ready to be out there andlive for who you really, truly are.
(52:29):
I think that's the most important thing.
Hmm.
Finding that Self-acceptance.
Exactly, yes.
Self-acceptance.
Yes, Wendy.
Because I always tell people, there'salso joy on the other side once
you're through all the painful stuff,
Always, right?
It's like, always it's a joy after.
(52:50):
And, and the painful stuff doesn't haveto last that long or be that difficult.
Depends on your whole mindset,and how you approach it.
Absolutely agree.
Well, and the words that are coming tomy mind are things about forgiveness
and gratitude too, on your journey.
Mm-hmm.
How do you incorporate that into thetransition and into your journey?
(53:11):
Oh, I love that.
I love this question, Lynn.
Every year I have a word of theyear that I want to focus on.
Last year was forgiveness actually,and I really needed to focus
on forgiveness because a lot ofthat work has to do for myself.
And after really understandingabout the forgiveness that I need
(53:33):
to do on my own, I was able toforgive my mother, for example.
Because my mother, even though Iknow that she still doesn't accept
me for who I am, I had to work onforgiving her for what she can do.
Like the capacity of, I don'tknow, like her acceptance, or
her mindset, or whatever that is.
(53:54):
I have to forgive that.
Because if I don't forgive then-and this is what I've learned, if
you don't forgive, you will notcome to the point of acceptance.
And that year, last year reallyhelped me a lot to fully forgive, and
then I was able to understand fully.
For example, my mother.
(54:14):
I understand her like,
Uh, okay, like, that'sprobably the reason why,
you know?
Like,
She was like this.
She was like that.
And it led me to really accepting thatif she cannot change, she cannot change.
I cannot do anything.
Mm-hmm.
You can't control how she feels.
Yes.
You cannot.
Yeah.
(54:35):
And what's your word this year?
If you're willing to share it?
Yes, of course.
I always share it on my podcast too.
And I make it really special.
Like every year, I told youguys I stayed in a temple.
I write down in calligraphy.
I would select like,
wow.
A particular kanji, we call it kanji word.
But of course when you translateit into English, it means,
(54:57):
for example, forgiveness.
And that was last year, forgiveness.
And this year I selected the word comfort.
Comfort, okay.
Yeah.
Comfort.
Tell us about that.
Yeah, because my journey oftransitioning from accepting who
I am during and a lot of that workwas during COVID, I was by myself.
(55:17):
I was reflecting, and then turnedinto like the forgiveness, acceptance
self-love, self-care, after all that.
Like, after all the hard work,like on myself, I think I
needed that year of just like,
It's time for you to rest
and be just like in yourcomfort and be okay.
(55:39):
If things don't go through the way that'ssupposed to be, then let it just happen.
But it goes through the way it will.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And you're taking care of yourself.
What a wonderful thing to do.
Congratulations on that.
Thank you so much, Lynn.
I like that.
Hmm.
(56:00):
Because we do need to take a pauseoccasionally and just regroup, recharge.
Mm-hmm.
And it's a lot of work beingout front and being different.
Yes.
I agree, Wendy.
And I felt it even more when I startedthe documentary work because so much
(56:20):
information that you're getting, andalso what's happening in the US, what's
happening in the UK now it will drain you.
But if you know how tostep back and just be like,
Relax, it'll be fine.
Have a rest for a day andyou can go back there again.
I think you can continue the battle.
Exactly.
You have to recharge.
(56:40):
One other question that I'm thinkingof before I ask you if you've got
anything else, but you mentionedme being an ally and you're in
the community and both of you are,what advice do you have for allies?
How can those of us who want tohelp, how can we really help?
Hmm.
Thank you for that veryimportant question, Lynn.
(57:02):
Ally, again, like it is something likeyou doing your work for the community,
which you're not even part of, and reallydedicating time, effort, everything.
And also you're sharing thestories and going to put in a book.
I think that's amazing.
You are one of the bestallies I've ever probably met.
(57:22):
But for people who wants to look forhow they can really contribute to
the community, I think the very firstthing that they can do is just to
participate in those gatherings, orsmall events, or whatever that is.
Like, they know about the community.
Or they can listen to apodcast, they can listen to us,
like just listen.
(57:42):
They're listening and maybe think aboutwhat they can reflect on or what they can
get from the conversations we are having.
You know?
And I think that starts withlistening and reflecting on
What are things that theycan't have, that I have?
Like, because there's many thingsthat we can't have because we
(58:05):
don't have the legal rights.
Right.
And it really, for me in Japan, eventhough I said like, it's, it's safe and
I feel safe here, I feel respected here.
I think Japanese people lackunderstanding about the community because
they're not a part of the community.
They just don't, you know,
We're not going to be part ofit, because we're not part of it.
And it's important to knowand understand and be part
(58:28):
because it's a society problem.
And that's why in Japan, there's notmany Japanese people coming out as well
because they don't feel like they'regoing to be accepted by their friends,
by their families, or by their coworkers.
So they'd rather be like not tellingthis part of them and, you know, share
it to them because they don't feel safe.
(58:51):
Hmm.
Well, and just think of thepain and agony that that causes
them and the people around them.
Like Wendy was saying earlier,there's a joy on the other side of
being who you are authentically.
And we've seen that with the peoplewe've talked to and hearing stories
and just seeing how you live now andhow exciting your life is and all the
(59:12):
good things that you're doing, and whowouldn't want that for somebody else?
To think of preventing people fromliving the lives that they want to live.
I don't know why peopleare so upset about that.
I would want people to be joyful.
I would want people to be happythat they be able to contribute
to society more that way.
(59:32):
Look at all the things that Wendy'sdoing that, that she didn't do before.
And I know her story from wayback, we've been talking about it.
And not just with Wendy, but otherpeople too, about how the drugs and
the alcohol and the things that theywere trying to use to stuff down-
All the turmoil that we feel.
(59:53):
Yeah.
All that.
I also did that too.
Like I was drinking a lot andI was doing drugs back then.
Yeah.
That seems like a common thing.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
What do you do to, to numb the pain?
That's the thing that I discoveredfrom the beginning is people have no
framework for this to comprehend it.
(01:00:13):
They have no knowledge or evenwhere to find the knowledge.
So that's where I found thattalking with people was so valuable.
The films and the work thatyou do, put it out there also.
That's what's important.
And to make it available to them and thento make myself available, and anyone else,
(01:00:39):
to actually talk with peopleand answer their questions.
Because so many people can't getanswers to their questions from other
people who have lived experience.
And that's why your podcastis so important too, Tiffany.
Totally.
Yeah.
You're doing such a wonderful jobthere, so thank you for doing that.
The films you work on and everything.
(01:01:01):
That's great.
Yeah.
Thank you.
So I'm going to ask you for your contactinformation, but is there anything before
we get to that, that we have left unsaid?
No, I think we prettymuch covered everything.
I'm just grateful that Iwas able to share my story.
I love sharing my story, andthat's why I love doing the podcast
because on my podcast, I get toshare all these stories because
(01:01:22):
I'm 46 this year, so 46 of my life,
Wow.
There's a lot already, like I'veexperienced and I think I can share
bits and pieces on my podcast.
And also like by just interviewingpeople and also like having this kind
of platform that I can share my story.
So yeah, I'm really justgrateful to have the space.
Well, thank you for doing that.
(01:01:43):
So share with our audience, how they canreach you, how they can find your podcast.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
So my podcast is calledBreakfast with Tiffany Show.
I'm turning five years this year..
Oh, yes.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
And of course, I already had Wendy onmy podcast and I am going to release
the episode of Lynn sometime soon.
(01:02:04):
So, definitely check that out.
And we had such great conversations andI love the conversation, especially like
when it takes you like hours and hours.
So it was great.
And the documentary that I'm stillworking on, it's called We Exist, it's
about the LGBTQ stories in Japan, andit's bilingual, Japanese and English.
(01:02:28):
We released the first episode lastyear, and we never really planned to
do another episode, but because weheard so many feedbacks and comments
and questions that we realized thatthere's so much work to do in Japan.
So we continued doing the secondepisode, which we filmed last
(01:02:51):
year as well, and now we're on thepost-production and hoping that we
could release it sometime this summer,or fall, sometime hopefully this year.
And then the movie that I was part ofthat I've been also looking forward to
because my role is also representing thecommunity, like being a transgender woman.
(01:03:11):
And I think that narrative of being aclub owner, like not owner, like club
mamasan, we call it mamasan, like theone in charge, um, sharing the story.
Because I was also partof the nightlife industry.
I had all this like experiences.
I get to share those stories for thisfilm, the director really listened
to my story and we were able to putsome of the stories in the film,
(01:03:39):
which I'm really, really excited.
Great.
I really hope that they will releaseit this year because it's been two
years that, um, we filmed it andthey're still in post-production
and dealing with all sort of stuffs,so hopefully they'll be this year.
You have to let us know.
I think that's great that you'reputting your lived experience
out there in these films.
(01:04:00):
That's wonderful.
Because so many times theypick a cisgender person to
play the transgender role and
Yeah.
That's horrible.
Yeah, I agree.
And where do we find We Exist?
How can our listeners find that?
Yeah, thank you.
So, We Exist, we don't show it onlineyet because we're looking for a streaming
(01:04:23):
platform that we can release them.
Hopefully like Netflix or Amazon.
If someone's listeningfrom Netflix or Amazon.
Um, or, um, now we have a wehave our Instagram account,
which is, We Exist Japan.
That we post some information here andthere about the community, about the
(01:04:45):
project, and hoping to expand that more.
Not just the documentary itself, butmore on like, just sharing bits and
pieces of like what's going on in Japan.
Because a lot of people, um, notjust from the US, but from other
countries, are really asking us about
What's it like in Japan.
Like we never really hear all thesestories from Japan of being LGBT.
(01:05:09):
And I think also becauseof the language barrier.
There are documentaries in Japan,there are informations in Japan,
but most of them are in Japanese.
So I think we want to continue the projectby giving information about what's it like
in Japan, being a part of the community.
So yeah, on Instagram.
(01:05:31):
And last year when we did the firstscreening of the documentary, we did in
person, screenings and also universities.
But we also did an online screening,free online screening for everyone,
which was so surprising because therewas like 70 people attended from all
over different parts of the country.
(01:05:53):
So it was very interesting.
So maybe we can do that again.
Host like an free onlinescreening for the second episode.
Well, when you do that,be sure and let us know.
We'll put it up on our platformsand we'll blast it out there
because I think that's a fascinatingthing to do and very important.
Thank you so much.
Alright, so Wendy, anything elsebefore we sign off for today?
(01:06:15):
Thank you for joining us today, Tiffany.
It was really a pleasure seeing youagain and hearing more about you.
Oh, thank you.
I just wanted to say also that thank youfor this very meaningful conversation.
I truly, truly believe thatchange begins with visibility,
empathy, and collaboration.
(01:06:35):
And I hope to remind people that everyonedeserves to feel seen, heard, and valued.
I believe that you and I both beingout and being visible is so helpful
for those who are still hiding andhoping to do something themselves.
(01:06:57):
So
we'll continue being out there for them.
Mm-hmm.
And thank you both for beingout there and sharing it.
And you reminded me the motto ofWomen Who Push the Limits, which
is kind of the umbrella overDemystifying the Transgender Journey.
But our motto is
Find your voice, speak yourtruth, and change the world.
(01:07:18):
And I want to thank you,Tiffany, and especially both
of you, for doing exactly that.
You're changing the worldby using your voice.
So thank you so much and then let'sthank our audience today for being
here, for joining us for this fabulousconversation with Tiffany Rossdale.
We've talked about so many wonderfulthings, and I know that you have enjoyed
this conversation, so share it out.
(01:07:40):
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, ourpodcast, wherever you find your podcasts,
like us, subscribe, review, do allthose things to help those little AI
bots put our platform out there more.
We are trying to get the word out topeople, to educate people about what
it's like to be transgender here onDemystifying the Transgender Journey.
(01:08:02):
So thank you for being here today.
My co-host, Wendy Coleand I are just delighted.
I'm Lynn Murphy, rememberto be kind and be curious.
Thank you for joining us.
See you next time.
Thank you for joining us todayon this episode of Demystifying
the Transgender Journey.
Remember to subscribe so youdon't miss a single episode
(01:08:22):
of our fascinating interviews.
You can also find more information onour website, thetransgenderjourney.com.
So until next time, staycurious and stay kind.
And I told my mom like,
(00:01):
Where are the girls working?
I know that they're here.
I don't know where they are.
Can you guide me?
Can you take me to that placeand maybe I can be one of them.
So she asked and then she took meto the club and I was so excited.
And I came to this cabaret bar, whichis kind of a old theater, but for me
it was even if like, not like gorgeousor not something like Vegas, you
(00:24):
know, like when you go to Vegas shows.
Right.
It's not like that.
But for me it was like, a Disneyland.
I'm like,
Oh my gosh.
All these beautiful girlsand these performers.
And I just knew from thenthat this is my space.
I want to be here.
I want to be like them.
What do you really know aboutpeople who were born transgender?
Have you ever met someonewho's transgender?
Well, if you're like me, you'recurious but hesitant to ask questions.
(00:46):
Well, welcome to Demystifyingthe Transgender Journey.
In our conversations with people who wereborn transgender, their families, friends,
and their professionals who support them,
we ask probing questions and discover
insightful and educational answers.
You can also find more
information on our website,
thetransgenderjourney.com.
Now let's get right into today's episode.
(01:09):
Welcome everybody to anotherepisode of Demystifying the
Transgender Journey, brought toyou by Women who Push the Limits.
I'm one of your hosts, Lynn Murphy.
Our other host, Wendy Cole, is here today.
I am the cisgender side ofthis team, and Wendy is the
transgender side of this team.
Wendy transitioned when she was67 years old, and we've been told
that this is kind of a unique thingto have a cisgender woman and a
(01:31):
transgender woman co-hosting a podcast.
And our goal is to humanize thetransgender experience, and as our title
says, demystifying that, we're doing thatby educating people, by sharing stories.
It's so important to hear the truthand to hear real people share stories.
We're planting seeds so thatpeople can understand more about
(01:54):
the transgender experience.
So our goal to educate peopleand telling stories is what our
fabulous guest today is so good at.
So let me introduce theamazing Tiffany Rossdale.
And Tiffany is a Tokyo based actor,producer, and LGBTQIA+ advocate with
(02:16):
over three decades of lived experience inJapan, originally from the Philippines.
She's a transgender woman andpowerful, powerful storyteller.
Tiffany is known for her authenticity,emotional depth, and unwavering
commitment to visibility and inclusion.
She's fluent in Japanese,English, and Tagalog, allowing
(02:36):
her to connect meaningfully withvery, very diverse communities.
Her debut feature movie Eastbound Trafficis set for release later this year.
Features Tiffany in a lead roleas a Filipino trans woman running
an international hostess club.
Sounds like it's maybe basedon a little bit of her life.
It's an emotionally charged performanceshaped by four years of intensive
(02:59):
training and method acting techniques.
Tiffany is also the producer of aproducer and host of We Exist, a
groundbreaking documentary seriesthat premiered in July, 2024.
It chronicles the lives and storiesof LGBTQIA+ individuals in Japan.
Now, beyond her work in film andmedia, Tiffany serves as an LGBTQIA+
(03:24):
consultant advising global brands,organizations, and institutions on
inclusive practices, gender sensitivity,and culturally aware storytelling.
Her expertise has made her atrusted voice in shaping respectful
representation and meaningfulengagement with marginalized community.
(03:44):
Tiffany is the host of her ownlong Running Breakfast with Tiffany
Show podcast, where she sharesempowering conversations with LGBTQ
community individuals from aroundthe world promoting wellness,
authenticity, and global solidarity.
So with a passion for advocacyand a mission to create space for
(04:06):
underrepresented voices, Tiffanycontinues to bridge cultures,
challenge norms, and inspiretransformation one story at a time.
So welcome Tiffany.
Thank you for being here today.
I'm incredibly honored to share myjourney and the work I'm passionate about.
So thank you.
Proud
to have you here today, Tiffany.
(04:28):
Delighted, and you're the one whoalways tells other people's stories.
So today we want you to tell your story.
So tell us a little bit, I, you saidyou were born in the Philippines.
You moved to Japan, and I know youhad a career that wasn't exactly
your cup of tea to begin with.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour background and how that
(04:48):
got you where you are today.
Oh, that'll be a long story.
Okay.
But to simplify everything yeah,I grew up in the Philippines.
I was in the Philippines until I was 18.
And the reason that I moved here from18 years old is because my mother was
already here and she was married to aJapanese man, which is my stepfather.
(05:10):
And she told me that if I'm, if Iwanted to try and live in Japan,
then you have to come here beforeyou get over age because they're not
going to be able to give me a visa.
So I'm really grateful for thatopportunity and I'm glad I chose to
come here and live here and see what it.
What it feels like living in Japanbecause I, living in the Philippines,
(05:32):
I didn't have any clue at all.
What's it like living here in Japan?
I know that my mother was heremy mother came here when I was
about seven years old, so she wasliving here for such a long time.
I, she never, every time she goes backto the Philippines, she never would
explain or tell me about what's itlike in Japan or anything like that.
(05:53):
So I didn't have any clue at all.
And I wanted to go to the US andthat's because in, in the Philippines
during '80s and '90s, we were verymuch immersed into the pop culture, the
us like all this like cable channels.
(06:14):
Like I'm, I've been watching likeMTVs and I've always been like all
these Hollywood movies and I alwaysthought oh, I want to go there someday.
I want to be there.
I can be myself in the US more than.
The Philippines.
And that's because in the PhilippinesI grew up being unique and in, in the
schools, or not even in schools, evenoutside the schools, I always get bullied.
(06:38):
And it's just it was justnormal to me, like every day.
Like someone called me,like derogatory words.
Like in the Philippines theycall it Bakla, Bakla means gay.
Or faggot in the US I think.
So they always say that word.
I always hear that word.
And I'm just so numbhearing it every time.
I was in that transition of understandingabout my gender identity at a very young
age, and I didn't have any resources.
(07:00):
Right?
I didn't have any informationabout me, about my gender identity.
What I was lucky when I wasin the Philippines was when I
had my peers, because in thePhilippines there are so many.
I think living in Japan for many years,it wasn't easy for me to recognize
(07:21):
people if they're part of the community.
But in the Philippines, because we'reso much presence in every- I would
not say every class in the Philippineshas an LGBT person, but I see them
around and like connecting withthem and forming a group together.
And suddenly we became a dancegroup that we were joining
(07:43):
like different dance contests.
And it's been my core groupof being myself and not
thinking about like who I am.
Because my family, my mother's relativeswho's taking care of us, didn't really
want to accept, I guess, me for who I am.
(08:04):
So whenever I'm with my peers, I alwaysfeel like, you know, it's so much fun.
We always had a good laugh.
We create this amazing dance steps.
So it's been great that I have thatbecause that's been a place for me where
I feel safe that I can be who I am, and Ican also be expressive about my identity,
(08:26):
although I'm still in that transition.
Like, who am I really?
And then every time we jointhe dance contest, and in the
Philippines, we always have like this.
Fiesta, which is everytown has their own fiesta.
And we would join like contestsand normally they would have like
singing contest, dance contest,um, Ms. Gay Beauty Contest, we
(08:48):
call it, they still call it Ms.
Gay Beauty Con, which isa transgender pageant.
And then I saw beautiful womenjoining that contest, and I
always had been intrigued like,
Why?
Like how can they be so beautifuland how can they transition like
this, you know, like to be a fullypassable, beautiful transgender woman.
(09:09):
And I always heard that they allalways go to Japan to work and
stay in Japan for a little bit.
And they would comeback to the Philippines.
And that's and because in the Philippineswe don't have the job that we can do.
I think there are a few of myfriends who's doing like hair
(09:30):
stylists or hair and makeup.
But in the Philippines, because we don'thave any law, we don't have any rights.
So like there's no, you know,representation, like seeing people
from the community or transgenderwomen, working in different
kinds of, fields or industries.
So did they go to Japan to transition?
Yes.
(09:50):
A lot of them.
They would go to Japan because part ofthat is also, they can save money and
then they would go to the transition.
And then I was always intrigued, andthat made me really decided that I have
to go to Japan, and my mother is there.
So, I took that opportunity and Ithought like, yeah, like maybe I
should just go to Japan and findout how they go with the transition.
(10:12):
And that's the start.
Like when I came here, I findout that they work in a cabaret
shows and they earn tips.
In the Philippines they havethis misconception about women
or trans women working in Japan.
They would call them Japayuki.
Japayuki means- it's not a reallygood term in the Philippines, it
(10:34):
means like you're going to Japan andworking there as a sex worker, or
you know, doing something like that.
But it's not really the reality.
Yes, Wendy,
It seems like the Philippines is notthat accepting and they also are equating
being transgender with sex and being gay.
(10:57):
Yes, yes, yes, exactly.
So even with my mother, my motherleft when I was seven, eight years old
and I was still in elementary school.
I could not tell my friends thatmy mother is in Japan working.
Because they would think like,
Oh, your mother is in Japan.
She's Japayuki?
you know, like I, it was such a shamefor me to tell my friends or my school
(11:21):
mates that my mother is in Japan.
Which I realized when I come hereand my mother's is not really,
she's not doing that kind of work.
She was actually just working,and she found a husband, and
she's just working in a factory.
And that's where I started working too.
She told me like,
The job here for you will be ifyou're not going to go to school.
Because she said if I want to continuemy school, which I was in college in the
(11:45):
Philippines, you can go to college here,or university, or you can start working.
And because when I came hereback in the '90s, there's not
a lot of foreigners in Japan.
And also the language, I have tolearn the language and I don't
know about Japanese at all.
So I thought like, I can'tprobably go to university.
(12:05):
Maybe I just have to start at work.
My idea is to find thosetrans women where they work.
But my mother was againstit because she was like,
You cannot go there.
Are you going to come here andjust start doing whatever you like?
You have to be respectfulwith your father.
Because my stepfather didn't knowI'm flamboyant or anything like,
um, my gender identity and all that.
She never told him.
(12:27):
So you had transitioned physicallyyour outward appearance, you
had transitioned at that point?
Not yet.
No?
I, I wasn't transitioned yet.
Oh, okay.
It did start, when I was inthe Philippines, I did start
taking, um, hormone pills.
We didn't have any like HRT oranything like that back in the days.
We just receive like hormonepills from our peers.
(12:47):
And they would say,
Oh, you should take that.
It's good for you.
Like it makes you more, youknow, like feminine and all that.
So I would take those.
No medical support.
Yes.
No, not at all.
And we just believe like,
okay, if I have that pill,I'm going to be feminine,
you know?
So I came here and I'm livingwith them in the same house.
So I was like living with them for ayear, and working in a factory where
(13:10):
I didn't want to work in a factory.
Because that factory also is, youremember back in the days when
the computer was just released,Windows, you know, all this.
They have such many factories inJapan that they, you know, hire
all this immigrants, like allthese people from the Philippines.
And I'm not sure what other countrieswere there during that time, but
(13:32):
we were working in a factory.
I didn't like the job because we, we holdthe chips and we put it, we dry it up.
But I always get like staticfrom all this like chips.
And I like, I don't like this job.
And I told my mom like,
Where are the girls who's working?
I know that they're here, butI don't know where they are.
Can you guide me?
Can you take me to that place and maybefind out and I can be one of them.
(13:55):
But she was against it untilshe just really felt that
I don't feel like working.
I'm not like in mood every time working.
Because we're in the same factory, right.
And she's just told me like in Japanthere's like a community of Filipinos,
so she knows where the girls work.
And she has a lot of Filipino friendshere that knows where the girls work.
(14:17):
So she asked and then she took meto the club and I was so excited.
And I came to this cabaret bar, whichis a old theater, but for me it was
even if's like not like, gorgeous ornot something like Vegas, you know,
like when you go to Vegas shows,
Right.
It's not like that.
But for me it was like a Disneyland.
I'm like,
Oh my gosh.
Like, you know, like all thesebeautiful girls and these performers.
(14:39):
And I just knew from thenthat this is my space.
I want to be here, I want to be like them.
And I'm glad that she went with me,my mother, because she was actually
talking to some of the girls.
Like the girls were likeabout the same age as hers.
Some are younger like me, but majorityof the girls are like a little older.
And they were telling her advices, like
(15:00):
If she wanted to transition,why not let her transition?
You know, like all this conversations.
And that made her decide that
Okay.
Like, because I think she got allthis information from the girls that,
mm-hmm.
That can be me.
Because she didn't know nothingabout what a transgender like,
what is it like to be me?
(15:22):
So she doesn't know how to raise, shedoesn't know how to communicate with me.
So basically no knowledge at all.
So when she went there, she understoodand she agreed, and she just told me,
I'm going to separate youin a different apartment.
We're going to rent an apartmentand you start your life, but you
are not going to come to our houseand show yourself like in drag or
(15:42):
whatever to show to your stepfather.
So that's how it allstarted, my transition.
Oh, wow.
She finally saw that there wassomething that you were attracted
to and she could see that it wasn'tas weird as she thought or as,
Yes.
And she was amazed.
She was also amazed by allthis beautiful trans women.
And then I told her like, I'm going tostart transitioning to all the surgeries.
(16:03):
For example I have to have a breastimplants because you've seen the
girls, they're not going to have tipsif they don't have beautiful breast.
Right?
You have to fit the modelthat they're looking for.
Exactly.
And so did you have other surgeries too?
You've got such a beautiful face.
Thank you.
(16:24):
The very first, uh, surgery that Idid was my nose job and my breast
implants together at the same time.
Mm-hmm.
And then after that I did my fulltransition SRS, which is sexual
reassignment surgery, but that tooka while because I have to save money.
So working in those cabaret, performing,I did save money and then I went
to Thailand to do my transition.
(16:46):
Oh, you did that there.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
I've heard that Thailand is more open.
It's a different culture I thinkbecause my husband worked in the
Philippines for a few years, and wevisited there and visited Thailand.
And just the whole energy of the twoplaces that we visited were so different.
Mm.
Philippines is so patriarchal.
(17:07):
Yes.
And and when it comes to surgeons,there's so many surgeons in Thailand that
you can select which surgeons you have.
Not as much as we have like now , Ithink there's more than ever now,
right.
But like I did my full, like mySRS in 2000-something, I forgot,
like it was a long time ago.
Even during that time we didn'thave that much information.
(17:28):
A lot of the information coming fromthe girls that I work with or like I
encounter with, like, they would giveme like, oh, like this, this surgeon
was good, this surgeon was that.
And we had one surgeon inJapan, a Japanese surgeon who
was doing it illegally, likeunder, you know, the table.
Like he was so famous with thecommunity because he was doing it.
He's the only one doing it in Japan.
(17:50):
And all the girls werealways telling that,
Oh, you have to go with that surgeonbecause he knows how to make it depth,
like the depth of the vagina.
If it's deeper, for Filipino transwomen, they would think that when they
have intercourse with a straight guy,they will not know that they're trans.
(18:16):
So they have that mentality.
So a lot of girls would go to him but I'veheard there's some girls who had some,
um, some issues with after the surgery.
I've heard there's one or twolike die because of the surgery.
So I was so scared that time, likemaybe I'm not going to go with him.
I just have to probably go to Thailandand maybe I have more option in Thailand.
(18:38):
And I was lucky because I hada few friends who gave me great
advice about the surgeon inThailand and I went with my sister.
I flew in my sister from the Philippineswith me to take care of me and I
stayed in town for a month for recoveryand everything and it's been great.
Good.
Just thinking about not havingthe medical care that we're so
(19:01):
used to here in the United States.
You had to kinda do it on the fly.
You were concerned.
You didn't know whether youwere going to live or die.
If you were staying in Japan tohave it done, what a horrible
thing to have to deal with.
When you're so torn between being yourselfand wanting to do what you needed to do to
live authentically, but then to the risk.
(19:25):
Yes.
So that's great thatyou brought it up, Lynn.
Thank you.
I'm not sure if Wendy felt that waybecause maybe when Wendy did her
transition, correct me if I'm wrong,Wendy, maybe because you have so much
information when you did already.
Like, during my time, I didn'thave that much information.
So even when I went to Thailand, evenknowing that the surgeon walked me through
everything about what's going to be like
(19:45):
mm-hmm.
I was so scared and I was cryingbefore the day I was doing my surgery
because I cannot go back once I do it.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm glad I had my sister with mewhere I can feel safe that I know that
when I wake up or, or not, she's there.
And she's with me.
You know?
And when I also had a conversationwith my mother about my
(20:10):
transition, she was not approving.
She was not approvingthat I have to do it.
Mm-hmm.
And that's when I really knew thatmy mother wasn't really accepting
of who I am, because I was justasking her about maybe like,
Okay,
you know,
good luck
or anything like that.
But she didn't give me any, any wordsthat will encourage me to do the surgery.
(20:35):
She rather put it inall in a negative, like,
You're going to regret it,
you're going to,
you know, all this and
Okay.
Then I felt like that moment, thatmoment when I found out, like she didn't
really still accept me for who I am.
And of course that's becauseof lack of knowledge about
Right.
how a transgender life should be.
So I'm glad I had my sister whobacked me up and supported me
(20:58):
with all this, and I felt safe.
And after my surgery, I went to thePhilippines also to talk to my dad,
although he knew already that I, I wentto transition, but he was more upset.
He was like more understanding.
Even though he doesn't understand.
But what he told me,
If that's what you like whatyou want to do with your life,
then go on just don't be-
My dad is a very religious person.
(21:19):
He would just always say like,
Just don't forget to pray to God
or whatever, like, when, whenever youdecide things that you're not sure.
Um, but I feel like my dad was moreaccepting about my gender than my mother.
So is your mother accepting now or,I mean, it's been quite a while.
Good question, Lynn!
I think still not.
I think that never changed.
(21:40):
I think she still doesn't understandwhat, how, why I have to choose
the path that I want to go through.
And we never still had that conversationabout me doing the transition.
And, like what she think about,like, even though she didn't
approve, I still went, you know?
(22:01):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we still didn't have anyconversation about that but I feel
like she still doesn't accept itbecause she doesn't know anything.
So now I'm trying toput more of a boundary.
We never see each otheras often as before.
Oh, okay.
But I'm in touch with her.
When did you have yourvaginoplasty surgery?
(22:21):
That was, oh my gosh.
That was like when I was 22, 23.
And that was like maybemore than 20 years.
Okay.
That was over 20 years ago then?
Uh, yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, there was not much informationaround at all then at all, anywhere.
How did, how was your research ondoctors in Thailand and how did
(22:45):
all that come together for you?
How difficult was that?
Or is it readily available?
It is readily available because therewere already surgeons in Thailand.
There are not many, probably 10 youknow, legit surgeons during that time.
Again, because of the other girls,they go to the same surgeon and they
(23:07):
explain to me like how the process,and how they would go through, and of
course, I reached out online to thesurgeon and asked questions before I
really booked it and went to Thailand.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
You know what I think is remarkable isthat you had a community of other trans
women, and like Wendy, had nobody around.
(23:28):
We've talked to other transgenderwomen, one woman that I interviewed
to this day doesn't really knowanybody else who's transgender.
And she transitioned in the '90s, butto have that community there where
even though it wasn't maybe the bestinformation, but it was information.
You could see how they were living, theywere sharing their stories with you,
(23:49):
sharing doctors, and advice, and all that.
Did that feel like there was agroup supporting you there then?
Oh, absolutely.
I think I would not go through withall of the transition right away if
it wasn't like all this informationI'm getting from the girls.
And it's because some of them they alreadywent through it like for many years before
(24:10):
I even transitioned because I was savinga lot of money to do the transition.
So it took me a while.
While I'm saving the money, I'm havingall these conversations with the girls,
like girls who did it before me, andthose informations really help a lot.
Were they all supportive?
Was there jealousy?
What was the relationship withyou and these other women?
Oh, good question.
(24:32):
So the jealousy thing, I felt it when theyfound out that I can live here without
thinking about coming back in Japan.
Because the visa process to come here as aperformer during that time was so strict.
And they have to go through like theauditions, the rehearsals, the agent,
(24:58):
and then when it come to Japan, likesome other people will manage them
and then they will stay here forlike three or six months and then
they will go back to the Philippines.
And when the management here foundout that especially the popular girls,
the clients wants those girls again.
So they will be requested to come back.
But if they're not requested, theyhave to go through the process again,
(25:20):
like from zero and start again.
So when they found out about me, likeskipping all that and I can be here
and because my mom gave me a visa.
My stepfather gave me a visato live as a resident in Japan.
That's when I felt like there wassome jealousy because whenever I
go around with clients, they wouldnot like introduce me properly.
They would not like, youknow, talk to me directly.
(25:42):
But most of the girls arevery friendly because Filipino
community are always like together.
But you know, because they haveto work hard, they're very, um,
competitive when it comes to working.
Especially with tips.
Especially with tips.
I have a picture that your communityis largely other Filipino girls.
(26:03):
Mm-hmm.
Are there Japanese girls?
Hmm, great question, Wendy.
The very first time I worked withthat place that my mom took me.
Right.
And I worked there for a year.
And then I realized because of all thisjealousies, all this you know, like,
the girls are not liking me that much.
I moved to different placesof the, kind of the same vibe.
(26:26):
And then I found one place that Iworked from for like, at least I
worked there for more than 10 years.
And that's the place that I'monly the Filipino trans woman
and they're all Japanese.
Okay.
I felt like I'm more, I'm more okaybecause probably because I'm different
and they cannot like, really control me.
(26:47):
Of course there's hierarchy between thegirls who worked there before than me.
But I didn't care as much as, like,for example, if a Filipino trans woman
like will do that to me, I feel like
why we have to do that to me?
Like I thought like
We're same country.
We have to support each other.
But for Japanese I would be like,
Oh, whatever, you know?
What was the biggest challengewith your transition?
(27:08):
The biggest challenge, I would saythat I accepting myself really fully.
Because when I did mysexual reassignment, or my
SRS, I started to think that,oh, I can be just a woman.
I don't have to like, you know, share myidentity of being a transgender to anyone.
(27:34):
And I built that different persona of me.
Right.
We don't have to be out theretelling ourselves that we're trans.
And, and part of that is also the safety,because I had experience a few times
I went to the US, not letting someoneknow that I'm trans, and I almost got
(27:55):
killed after they found out I'm trans.
So that also made me realize the safety.
Where is the right timing?
Like, when, when should I tell?
Because when it comes to sexual, I prefer,um, straight men, cisgender men, right?
Mm-hmm.
So I would I would always like, gofor them, but then like, they're not
(28:19):
either interested to trans women.
So
that acceptance of me being atransgender woman took me a long
time after making that persona of,
I don't have to tell them.
I had relationship right,
when I told them that, I got heartbrokenbecause they didn't accept me who I am.
(28:41):
So I think that transition was the mostdifficult and challenging for me, rather
than the physical transition that I had.
I think in something that you saidor something that I read, that the
man who broke your heart was reallya tough thing for you to get through.
Yes.
Was that the one youwere just speaking of?
Yes.
Yes, exactly.
(29:02):
And I always look at things thathappen like that and think, What's
the lesson that you learned from that?
The lesson I've learned fromthat is like really accepting
who I am or for the person I am.
If the person is not going toaccept me for who I am, then I
think that's not the person for me.
And I don't have to live in alie where I have to hide myself
(29:26):
because they will not accept me.
Basically, I'm lookingfor approval, right?
Like from them, if they'regoing to accept me or not.
And of course I came to the pointnow like I don't have to do that.
I have to just really fully accept whoI am, to be able to have the person
that really accept me for who I am.
(29:46):
Okay, so you identify asa heterosexual female?
Mm,
Same here.
Yes.
I dated,
I remember that
for two years, 2018 and 2019.
And everything was fine.
The one thing that I've experiencedwas that constant little nagging
voice in the back of my headgoing, what if he finds out?
(30:10):
Yes.
And what I didn't realize is when I putmyself online in 2020, by the end of
that year, the last guy I dated found me.
And it was kind of a freak out.
And that's the way my sociallife has been ever since.
They can Google your name, theycan Google my name, and when you
(30:33):
Google us, everything comes up.
So I just prefer actually to justget it out of the way up front.
I don't reveal my past to friends orpeople that I meet until I know that
(30:54):
it's relevant and that they're probablygoing to be in my life for a while.
Is that pretty much theway you handle it too?
I'm just curious.
Hmm, absolutely.
Yeah.
I really agree.
Like being upfront, you'll knowright away if they're for you or not.
If you're very upfront andtelling them about your identity.
Like you don't have to tellall your past and all that.
(31:14):
Of course, if you becomein a relationship,
That's the different story.
Right.
That they would understand you and bemore supportive, then I think that's
where you can probably share more.
Mm-hmm.
Well, that's the whole idea ofbeing open in the relationship
is now that's a non-issue.
(31:35):
They're okay with us and we can goforward and have a normal relationship
like any other couple would.
So do you find it easy to date,difficult to date, or do you
just avoid it all together?
Linda, love your questions.
It's still, uh, up, up until now, it'sstill not easy for trans women to do
(31:58):
dating and I also know that becauseI have friends who I actually have
communication about their dating life.
And for trans women, it's verymuch a challenge, although there
are, there are friends of mine whoalso have successful relationships.
But majority still, it's not easyto navigate, especially if you are,
(32:18):
if you're looking for a straightperson to be in a relationship.
I have a friend who wasconvinced before surgery,
mm,
she was going to date nothing but women.
Mm.
Men were gross.
Since her surgery, she'sdated nothing but men.
(32:39):
And it's eight years now or so.
And her boyfriend moved in, dropped theL word, and then she decided to tell him.
Mm.
So they've been dating for like sixmonths to a year and he had no clue.
(33:00):
No idea.
And fortunately, when she did come out tohim, he thought about it for a little bit.
Not a problem.
That he fell in lovewith her, not her past.
So I, I think some blendof that's the ideal.
(33:22):
But also my friend didn't havethe social media presence.
Hmm.
Couldn't Google her.
She was living stealth.
And revealing to only people that werein her past, but no one in her present.
You transitioned quite a few years ago.
Right?
So what kind of relationship do you havewith the person that you used to be?
(33:45):
I don't think I'm saying this right.
How do you feel about your male past?
Okay, Wendy, that, that's amuch better way to say it.
Thanks, Wendy.
Thank you, Wendy.
I actually don't have that relationshipwith my old self anymore, although,
like, for example, like the memoriesof my childhood, because I had
(34:06):
such a very rough childhood, somany memories still comes back.
Traumas.
Because of the traumas, exactly.
But my old self before my transition,I actually, I don't have that anymore.
I think I, I made peacewith that past already.
I am just living in themoment of who I am now.
(34:27):
Good for you.
Thank you.
That's great.
And you said at one point you hadkind of a spiritual awakening, that
there's more of a spiritual approach.
Tell us more about that and how thatinfluences who you are and what you do.
Thank you.
Yeah, so I grew up Catholic and thePhilippines are very much Roman Catholic.
(34:48):
And my mother's parents, mygrandparents are also like very
strict, very much Catholic.
And also, same with my father'sside, my father's side.
And growing up, being a Catholic, Ialways thought like, because in the
Philippines they would think that
if you start talking aboutgender identity, what the
(35:09):
Filipinos would say to you, like,
But that's not written in the Bible.
The Bible says like only men and women.
So I kind of question about my religion.
Why if that's written in a Bible,
but then why, why am I here,why do I have to be like this?
You know, like my gender identity.
So before I came to Japan, there's a thingthat I did because my father was very
(35:31):
much Catholic and he was telling me like,
If you have a wish, goto this church in Manila.
It's a famous, famouschurch for Filipinos and.
He would say that you go there andif you go there weekly and nine
weeks, of consecutively doing it.
And then if you complete it and you havea wish or whatever, it will come true.
(35:55):
And that's the time my mother startstalking about coming here in Japan
and she's still explaining thatit's, although like, yeah, of course
you can come here, we can have you.
But the visa process of all thedocuments and everything will take time.
And I thought
Okay, so that will take timeand that takes a lot of process.
Then maybe I should go forthat as my wish and do this,
(36:19):
what my father said about like this,going to this church and praying
and just continue doing it weekly.
And I did, and even during that timewhen I was doing it for nine weeks,
and I had a boyfriend during thattime, back then in the Philippines,
sometimes he would come with me,sometimes he's not going to come with me.
I would go by myself.
And sometimes we have typhoons, right?
I would still go and, and I completedthat nine weeks of going to that church.
(36:44):
And my wish was to come toJapan and the following week
my mom called me and she said,
You have a visa.
You can come to Japan now.
So that made me also clear that like,oh, like I'm connected with my religion.
My religion being aCatholic still, you know.
I always felt close to my religion alsobecause when I was in school in the
(37:06):
Philippines, during high school andcollege, we always have this community
of choirs and I always attended choirs.
Attending those choirs, I always felt likeeven though people see me as different
and unique, they will not judge me.
And I always felt safer there.
Besides the peers that I talked aboutearlier about this dance group community.
(37:28):
These people, because they're very muchreligious, they don't judge other people.
Right.
So I felt safe being in that communityby attending the choir, singing
and then like being in church.
So those two are my my safe space becauseI can't have it at home where I live.
And then when I came to Japan,learning about Buddhism and how their
(37:51):
religion is so much different and Ifound out that being Buddhism, they
don't judge you based from gender.
Like they accept you for who you are,even though you're man, woman, or
trans, or other identity you might have.
They don't judge based on gender.
That made me open to understanding more.
I'm still learning.
I still need to learn a lot aboutBuddhism, but I think because I
(38:13):
live in Japan for many years, I liveover 28 years, going to a temple,
going to a shrine, just payingrespect, and just understanding
what the Buddhism religion is about.
It's showing respect to the cultureand Japan because of me being
able to live here for this long.
(38:33):
Every year I would stay in a very peacefultemple on my New Year's Eve, like doing
some activities with the Buddhist priest,and morning chanting and all that.
I always felt safe, and I always feltlike my year always re-energized,
and I'm always healed and everything.
(38:54):
That's like my ritual now, likegoing to a temple and staying there
for a week and then coming back.
Although I'm still in touchwith churches here in, in Tokyo
too, for a Catholic church.
I would go, but not as often as I used to.
Like in the Philipines Iwould go like quite a lot.
But here I don't have to gothat much, when I have the
opportunity to go to the temple.
I was trying to just like pay respect.
(39:14):
So it broadens up my acceptanceof not just my religion,
but other religion as well.
Right.
Well, I love hearing that you feel safe inthose communities because a lot of people
in the United States who are transgenderdon't feel safe in religious communities.
Exactly.
That seems to be where a lotof the persecution, harassment,
(39:37):
whatever is coming from peoplewho've got this image of
This is how it should be.
Exactly.
And they're just hanging ontothat, making everybody else wrong.
Or like that one mother, weinterviewed Wendy, who's part of the
Mormon faith, and she was told that
Yes
the devil made her child do this and
the devil has her family.
(39:58):
Yeah.
It was just evil.
She had to get rid of this evil.
So it's wonderful to hear that there areplaces in the world where the religious
communities are welcoming and safe.
Would you say that Japan is morewelcoming and safer for people like
us than the United States is now?
(40:22):
Wendy said, I told earlier that.
My, my original plan was to come toJapan and maybe just live here, and
then I really wanted to go to the US.
Because I was immersed in Americanculture and pop culture, I
really wanted to go to the US.
And then when I started travelingfrom Japan, going to the US, I
already lived here, that gave me arealization that I'm not safe in the
(40:44):
US because of the experience that Ihad, I almost got killed twice, which
will not ever happen in Japan for me.
There were a few situations herethat I got, someone following you,
you know, but it's not like you haveto be worried, like they're going
to k*ll me or anything like that.
The, the reason why they're followingyou is because probably they want
to, you know, talk to you or theywant to like be close to you.
(41:07):
But for me when I'm working atnightlife, we finished around 3:00
or 4:00 AM and walking in Tokyoor wherever in Japan is so safe,
even though like that time, right?
Mm-hmm.
But there are some drunk Japanese menwould like, follow you and like, you
know, have a conversation and like,
Ah, I'm done.
Like, you're finished work and justwant to get home and everything.
And you know, some guyswould like approach you.
(41:28):
So it's not like you have to beworried that someone's following
you, they might k*ll you, they mightr*pe you or anything like that.
It's not like that.
So I never felt that in Japan thatI think that it's really safe.
That's why I live here for this long.
Right.
Even not considering going back to myown country in the Philippines, because
I thought, like in the Philippines, theynever respected me in the Philippines.
(41:50):
They never really fully acceptedme for who I am in the Philippines.
That's why here I felt like peoplehere are very respectful, whoever you
wanted to be, and even though we don'thave the legal rights, and the gay
marriage equality and all that here yet,people respect you for who you are as
a human being and they don't intrudeyou, like whatever you want to do.
(42:12):
I see people who, like in, inTokyo, I don't even know if they're
transgender or not like, or they'repart of our community, but some
of them like doing cross-dressing.
And people don't care.
They don't look at those type ofpeople like they're weird or they're
strange or anything like that.
Normally that happens in the weekendbecause all this of course, you know that
(42:34):
The events and everything elseand people getting together.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Maybe I'm lucky too, because people inJapan, they don't really see me as trans.
They rather probably seeme as a foreign woman.
Right.
Or just simply as a beautiful woman.
Appreciate it.
But yeah, they don't really think aboutidentity like gender, you know, what's
(42:55):
your gender identity and all that.
So when I was working in a cabaretshow, because they all know that women,
there are all trans women, they would ofcourse assume like all women are trans.
See, that's the double standard that alot of societies, especially men have.
We're okay to perform anddo various things for them,
(43:16):
but we're not okay to date.
Right.
And it's interesting that the laws inJapan are not as open as they're in
the United States, but yet everythingseems to be much more accepting there.
I bet that's because of the Buddhism.
Mm-hmm.
And Zen Buddhism is very embracing.
(43:40):
Mm-hmm.
I, part of that is correct, Wendy.
And then I, I don't know yet,like the entire history of
the queer culture in Japan.
But what I've heard is back inthe time, there were already queer
people who was performing, forexample, the Kabuki performers.
Mm-hmm.
They cannot have women perform on stage.
(44:02):
So men would do drag and theywould perform as Kabuki performers.
And some of them were queer.
But they never really had thatproblem even during that time.
Right.
Well, you go back to Shakespeare'stime and women couldn't perform then.
Men were performingwomen's roles on stage.
That's why when I see people getso upset about cross-dressers
(44:23):
or the transgender issues.
Why?
Why is it such a big dealnow in the United States?
Are you seeing that it'sa big deal in Japan?
Or are you just lookingacross the ocean and going,
Oh, that's going on over there.
That's a good point, Lynn.
In the beginning I thought like,
in the US, it's not going to affectus here, what's going on there.
(44:44):
Plus of course, like,we're not even there yet.
Like we, we don't have the legalrep, we don't have everything.
But now because of the work thatI've been doing here- I'm not an
activist, but I'm doing so, so muchadvocacy work for the community.
I get invited to universities,um, corporate companies, to speak
(45:06):
about the documentary and my livedexperience as a transgender woman.
And I got invited to a few bigcompanies in Japan that they wanted
me to speak as one of the panelists.
And because of what's goingon in the US this year.
I think January, February whenthey invited me and then all
things happened in the US, right.
(45:28):
What they told me was happeningin the US, they cannot confirm the
event for this particular topicbecause they also have a branch in
the US that needs to be approved.
So I felt like,
oh, even though it's not, even thoughwe're not in the US, I'm, I'm feeling it.
(45:50):
Like what's going on in the US.
Because it's not just happeningonce, it happened twice.
Oh, that's interesting.
That's frightening thatit's reaching that far.
The tentacles are out thereaffecting things that far away.
A Japanese corporation couldn'thave you speak because they have
business in the United States.
(46:11):
Yeah, same, same company
That's horrible.
Yeah.
They're far reaching with all this stuff.
And I'm sure it's even worse inthe US with all these issues.
But learning that it also affects othercountries, not even part of the US.
It's just sad.
Yeah.
(46:31):
So even though you have, as a transgenderwoman, you have no legal rights, no
legal ID, and have to use your oldID, you're still better treated,
and better respected, and betteraccepted than you are in the United
States where we have all that stuff.
(46:53):
Absolutely.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's why I live here, Wendy.
Talk about whacked out.
So you still have to use your genderassigned at birth on your passport?
In Japan though, they have a system thatif you do all this, the reassignment
surgery and all that, they canchange your gender mark and name.
(47:14):
But because I am not a Japanesecitizen, I'm still a Filipino citizen.
In Philippines, we don't have alaw in the Philippines that you can
change your gender mark or your name.
Interesting.
So when you travel, you haveto travel under your passport?
Yes.
I want to also share this:
Every time I travel in the US, thevery first time I was traveling there,
(47:35):
like when, when US doesn't reallyfocus on LGBT and all that yet- coming
from Japan and traveling to the US,
Like the early 2000's.
Yes, exactly.
During that time, theywould always interrogate me.
They would always put me in adifferent room, an hour just
like finding all this, like,
What are you going to do in the US?
and
Why are you bringing likeyour heels and your clothes?
(47:57):
I'm like,
I'm traveling!
Like all these questions.
Because I think during that time, theyhave this misconception that all women
are trans women coming from Asia isgoing to work in the US as sex workers.
And I understand that, butnot all of us are sex workers.
And I always tell them,I have my return ticket.
(48:19):
I always show them my return ticket.
I have my return ticket and Idon't even want to live in the US.
I just want to come here and, you know,have a vacation and go back to Japan.
So this was all happening nowin the US Wendy and Lynn, like.
I don't feel safe to go again.
Like, because after uh, all theselegal rights were approved in
(48:39):
the US, gay marriage equality,all of those integrations stopped
whenever I travel to the US.
Just like, check, okay.
Like they let me in.
But I think now, I think it's goingto go back to that interrogations
and all that happened in the past.
Which I don't want to go backbecause it was trauma for me.
Every time I land in theairport, I've always felt like,
(49:00):
Oh my gosh, they're goingto interrogate me again.
I don't feel safe.
And there are a lot of people who don'tfeel safe coming to the United States.
A lot of these countries are saying,
If there's any chance that anythingcould be questioned, don't even go.
So, economically that'saffecting the United States.
Thanks to the current regime.
(49:20):
But hopefully we will getpast that in a few years.
Hope.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Well, what surprises youthe most about your life?
Oh, this is a good question, Lynn.
Um, I think what surprises me is thateven though I'm unique and different,
even though I'm a transgenderperson, I can go with my life.
(49:43):
I can still live my life and be who I am.
Even though, of course,there were challenges.
There was so much challenges,especially back in the day.
There are many challenges I face.
But even though I have allthose challenges, I still got
through it and I'm still here.
(50:04):
I'm alive.
That surprises me.
It's not a choice.
Yeah.
It's something you needed to do.
Hmm.
So what drives you to do that?
What's your motivation for doing thatand for going through all these things?
I think it's because the acceptancethat we still don't have as trans
(50:24):
people, as transgender, as LGBTpeople, that really motivates me to do
the work that I'm doing now, sharingstories, my podcast, a documentary,
and representing the community.
Because for example, in Japan, whenit comes to representation, we don't
(50:45):
have a lot of representation here.
And that's how I started to be an actor.
I thought like,
Okay, then if there's no LGBT actorin Japan, then maybe I can do that.
And I found out I love acting andthat can be like the persona that
I was doing, you know, like theother Tiffany that I told earlier.
Like, building a personaof a different person.
(51:06):
I can do that when I'm acting.
So that really keeps me motivated.
And also the people thatreally appreciates what I do.
Really, allies.
Allies like you, Lynn, you're amazing.
And having you on the podcast and hearinghow you do the work for the community
(51:27):
that you're not even a part with, like ourcommunity, me and Wendy, is so incredible.
Like, having allies like you thatreally, really supports the community,
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Well, thank you.
I know you're, you are interviewingpeople on your podcast, you meet
a lot of people in the community.
What advice would you give, from yourexperience and from everybody you've
(51:47):
talked to's experience, what advicewould you give someone who's not really
sure whether they want to transition?
They're kind of, at the pointof questioning and struggling
with making that decision.
What do they do?
Why do they do it?
What would you tell them?
Hmm.
I think hearing so many stories from ourcommunity, like with different gender
(52:09):
identities and my own experience, myown lived experience, I think listening
to your own intuition and listeningto the the timing that you are ready
to come out, the timing that you areready to talk about yourself, the timing
that you're ready to be out there andlive for who you really, truly are.
(52:29):
I think that's the most important thing.
Hmm.
Finding that Self-acceptance.
Exactly, yes.
Self-acceptance.
Yes, Wendy.
Because I always tell people, there'salso joy on the other side once
you're through all the painful stuff,
Always, right?
It's like, always it's a joy after.
(52:50):
And, and the painful stuff doesn't haveto last that long or be that difficult.
Depends on your whole mindset,and how you approach it.
Absolutely agree.
Well, and the words that are coming tomy mind are things about forgiveness
and gratitude too, on your journey.
Mm-hmm.
How do you incorporate that into thetransition and into your journey?
(53:11):
Oh, I love that.
I love this question, Lynn.
Every year I have a word of theyear that I want to focus on.
Last year was forgiveness actually,and I really needed to focus
on forgiveness because a lot ofthat work has to do for myself.
And after really understandingabout the forgiveness that I need
(53:33):
to do on my own, I was able toforgive my mother, for example.
Because my mother, even though Iknow that she still doesn't accept
me for who I am, I had to work onforgiving her for what she can do.
Like the capacity of, I don'tknow, like her acceptance, or
her mindset, or whatever that is.
(53:54):
I have to forgive that.
Because if I don't forgive then-and this is what I've learned, if
you don't forgive, you will notcome to the point of acceptance.
And that year, last year reallyhelped me a lot to fully forgive, and
then I was able to understand fully.
For example, my mother.
(54:14):
I understand her like,
Uh, okay, like, that'sprobably the reason why,
you know?
Like,
She was like this.
She was like that.
And it led me to really accepting thatif she cannot change, she cannot change.
I cannot do anything.
Mm-hmm.
You can't control how she feels.
Yes.
You cannot.
Yeah.
(54:35):
And what's your word this year?
If you're willing to share it?
Yes, of course.
I always share it on my podcast too.
And I make it really special.
Like every year, I told youguys I stayed in a temple.
I write down in calligraphy.
I would select like,
wow.
A particular kanji, we call it kanji word.
But of course when you translateit into English, it means,
(54:57):
for example, forgiveness.
And that was last year, forgiveness.
And this year I selected the word comfort.
Comfort, okay.
Yeah.
Comfort.
Tell us about that.
Yeah, because my journey oftransitioning from accepting who
I am during and a lot of that workwas during COVID, I was by myself.
(55:17):
I was reflecting, and then turnedinto like the forgiveness, acceptance
self-love, self-care, after all that.
Like, after all the hard work,like on myself, I think I
needed that year of just like,
It's time for you to rest
and be just like in yourcomfort and be okay.
(55:39):
If things don't go through the way that'ssupposed to be, then let it just happen.
But it goes through the way it will.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And you're taking care of yourself.
What a wonderful thing to do.
Congratulations on that.
Thank you so much, Lynn.
I like that.
Hmm.
(56:00):
Because we do need to take a pauseoccasionally and just regroup, recharge.
Mm-hmm.
And it's a lot of work beingout front and being different.
Yes.
I agree, Wendy.
And I felt it even more when I startedthe documentary work because so much
(56:20):
information that you're getting, andalso what's happening in the US, what's
happening in the UK now it will drain you.
But if you know how tostep back and just be like,
Relax, it'll be fine.
Have a rest for a day andyou can go back there again.
I think you can continue the battle.
Exactly.
You have to recharge.
(56:40):
One other question that I'm thinkingof before I ask you if you've got
anything else, but you mentionedme being an ally and you're in
the community and both of you are,what advice do you have for allies?
How can those of us who want tohelp, how can we really help?
Hmm.
Thank you for that veryimportant question, Lynn.
(57:02):
Ally, again, like it is something likeyou doing your work for the community,
which you're not even part of, and reallydedicating time, effort, everything.
And also you're sharing thestories and going to put in a book.
I think that's amazing.
You are one of the bestallies I've ever probably met.
(57:22):
But for people who wants to look forhow they can really contribute to
the community, I think the very firstthing that they can do is just to
participate in those gatherings, orsmall events, or whatever that is.
Like, they know about the community.
Or they can listen to apodcast, they can listen to us,
like just listen.
(57:42):
They're listening and maybe think aboutwhat they can reflect on or what they can
get from the conversations we are having.
You know?
And I think that starts withlistening and reflecting on
What are things that theycan't have, that I have?
Like, because there's many thingsthat we can't have because we
(58:05):
don't have the legal rights.
Right.
And it really, for me in Japan, eventhough I said like, it's, it's safe and
I feel safe here, I feel respected here.
I think Japanese people lackunderstanding about the community because
they're not a part of the community.
They just don't, you know,
We're not going to be part ofit, because we're not part of it.
And it's important to knowand understand and be part
(58:28):
because it's a society problem.
And that's why in Japan, there's notmany Japanese people coming out as well
because they don't feel like they'regoing to be accepted by their friends,
by their families, or by their coworkers.
So they'd rather be like not tellingthis part of them and, you know, share
it to them because they don't feel safe.
(58:51):
Hmm.
Well, and just think of thepain and agony that that causes
them and the people around them.
Like Wendy was saying earlier,there's a joy on the other side of
being who you are authentically.
And we've seen that with the peoplewe've talked to and hearing stories
and just seeing how you live now andhow exciting your life is and all the
(59:12):
good things that you're doing, and whowouldn't want that for somebody else?
To think of preventing people fromliving the lives that they want to live.
I don't know why peopleare so upset about that.
I would want people to be joyful.
I would want people to be happythat they be able to contribute
to society more that way.
(59:32):
Look at all the things that Wendy'sdoing that, that she didn't do before.
And I know her story from wayback, we've been talking about it.
And not just with Wendy, but otherpeople too, about how the drugs and
the alcohol and the things that theywere trying to use to stuff down-
All the turmoil that we feel.
(59:53):
Yeah.
All that.
I also did that too.
Like I was drinking a lot andI was doing drugs back then.
Yeah.
That seems like a common thing.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
What do you do to, to numb the pain?
That's the thing that I discoveredfrom the beginning is people have no
framework for this to comprehend it.
(01:00:13):
They have no knowledge or evenwhere to find the knowledge.
So that's where I found thattalking with people was so valuable.
The films and the work thatyou do, put it out there also.
That's what's important.
And to make it available to them and thento make myself available, and anyone else,
(01:00:39):
to actually talk with peopleand answer their questions.
Because so many people can't getanswers to their questions from other
people who have lived experience.
And that's why your podcastis so important too, Tiffany.
Totally.
Yeah.
You're doing such a wonderful jobthere, so thank you for doing that.
The films you work on and everything.
(01:01:01):
That's great.
Yeah.
Thank you.
So I'm going to ask you for your contactinformation, but is there anything before
we get to that, that we have left unsaid?
No, I think we prettymuch covered everything.
I'm just grateful that Iwas able to share my story.
I love sharing my story, andthat's why I love doing the podcast
because on my podcast, I get toshare all these stories because
(01:01:22):
I'm 46 this year, so 46 of my life,
Wow.
There's a lot already, like I'veexperienced and I think I can share
bits and pieces on my podcast.
And also like by just interviewingpeople and also like having this kind
of platform that I can share my story.
So yeah, I'm really justgrateful to have the space.
Well, thank you for doing that.
(01:01:43):
So share with our audience, how they canreach you, how they can find your podcast.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
So my podcast is calledBreakfast with Tiffany Show.
I'm turning five years this year..
Oh, yes.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
And of course, I already had Wendy onmy podcast and I am going to release
the episode of Lynn sometime soon.
(01:02:04):
So, definitely check that out.
And we had such great conversations andI love the conversation, especially like
when it takes you like hours and hours.
So it was great.
And the documentary that I'm stillworking on, it's called We Exist, it's
about the LGBTQ stories in Japan, andit's bilingual, Japanese and English.
(01:02:28):
We released the first episode lastyear, and we never really planned to
do another episode, but because weheard so many feedbacks and comments
and questions that we realized thatthere's so much work to do in Japan.
So we continued doing the secondepisode, which we filmed last
(01:02:51):
year as well, and now we're on thepost-production and hoping that we
could release it sometime this summer,or fall, sometime hopefully this year.
And then the movie that I was part ofthat I've been also looking forward to
because my role is also representing thecommunity, like being a transgender woman.
(01:03:11):
And I think that narrative of being aclub owner, like not owner, like club
mamasan, we call it mamasan, like theone in charge, um, sharing the story.
Because I was also partof the nightlife industry.
I had all this like experiences.
I get to share those stories for thisfilm, the director really listened
to my story and we were able to putsome of the stories in the film,
(01:03:39):
which I'm really, really excited.
Great.
I really hope that they will releaseit this year because it's been two
years that, um, we filmed it andthey're still in post-production
and dealing with all sort of stuffs,so hopefully they'll be this year.
You have to let us know.
I think that's great that you'reputting your lived experience
out there in these films.
(01:04:00):
That's wonderful.
Because so many times theypick a cisgender person to
play the transgender role and
Yeah.
That's horrible.
Yeah, I agree.
And where do we find We Exist?
How can our listeners find that?
Yeah, thank you.
So, We Exist, we don't show it onlineyet because we're looking for a streaming
(01:04:23):
platform that we can release them.
Hopefully like Netflix or Amazon.
If someone's listeningfrom Netflix or Amazon.
Um, or, um, now we have a wehave our Instagram account,
which is, We Exist Japan.
That we post some information here andthere about the community, about the
(01:04:45):
project, and hoping to expand that more.
Not just the documentary itself, butmore on like, just sharing bits and
pieces of like what's going on in Japan.
Because a lot of people, um, notjust from the US, but from other
countries, are really asking us about
What's it like in Japan.
Like we never really hear all thesestories from Japan of being LGBT.
(01:05:09):
And I think also becauseof the language barrier.
There are documentaries in Japan,there are informations in Japan,
but most of them are in Japanese.
So I think we want to continue the projectby giving information about what's it like
in Japan, being a part of the community.
So yeah, on Instagram.
(01:05:31):
And last year when we did the firstscreening of the documentary, we did in
person, screenings and also universities.
But we also did an online screening,free online screening for everyone,
which was so surprising because therewas like 70 people attended from all
over different parts of the country.
(01:05:53):
So it was very interesting.
So maybe we can do that again.
Host like an free onlinescreening for the second episode.
Well, when you do that,be sure and let us know.
We'll put it up on our platformsand we'll blast it out there
because I think that's a fascinatingthing to do and very important.
Thank you so much.
Alright, so Wendy, anything elsebefore we sign off for today?
(01:06:15):
Thank you for joining us today, Tiffany.
It was really a pleasure seeing youagain and hearing more about you.
Oh, thank you.
I just wanted to say also that thank youfor this very meaningful conversation.
I truly, truly believe thatchange begins with visibility,
empathy, and collaboration.
(01:06:35):
And I hope to remind people that everyonedeserves to feel seen, heard, and valued.
I believe that you and I both beingout and being visible is so helpful
for those who are still hiding andhoping to do something themselves.
(01:06:57):
So
we'll continue being out there for them.
Mm-hmm.
And thank you both for beingout there and sharing it.
And you reminded me the motto ofWomen Who Push the Limits, which
is kind of the umbrella overDemystifying the Transgender Journey.
But our motto is
Find your voice, speak yourtruth, and change the world.
(01:07:18):
And I want to thank you,Tiffany, and especially both
of you, for doing exactly that.
You're changing the worldby using your voice.
So thank you so much and then let'sthank our audience today for being
here, for joining us for this fabulousconversation with Tiffany Rossdale.
We've talked about so many wonderfulthings, and I know that you have enjoyed
this conversation, so share it out.
(01:07:40):
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, ourpodcast, wherever you find your podcasts,
like us, subscribe, review, do allthose things to help those little AI
bots put our platform out there more.
We are trying to get the word out topeople, to educate people about what
it's like to be transgender here onDemystifying the Transgender Journey.
(01:08:02):
So thank you for being here today.
My co-host, Wendy Coleand I are just delighted.
I'm Lynn Murphy, rememberto be kind and be curious.
Thank you for joining us.
See you next time.
Thank you for joining us todayon this episode of Demystifying
the Transgender Journey.
Remember to subscribe so youdon't miss a single episode
(01:08:22):
of our fascinating interviews.
You can also find more information onour website, thetransgenderjourney.com.
So until next time, staycurious and stay kind.
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