Cultivate #6: Getting out of the Army

Leaving the military isn’t just a career change, it’s a full-life transition that touches every part of who you are, what you do, and how you see yourself. In this powerful conversation with Luke, we explore the layered journey of military retirement, from the meticulous planning it requires to the unexpected waves of grief, identity shifts, and emotional adjustments that follow.

We talk about the paradox of wanting something deeply, dreaming about the freedom of civilian life, while also feeling sadness, disconnection, and even depression once you arrive there. We dive into how couples can navigate this change together, why community and friendships are so vital, and how routines, sleep, and exercise become anchors in a time of uncertainty.

Whether you’re approaching military retirement, supporting a spouse through it, or simply curious about the human side of major life transitions, this episode is full of raw insight, hard-earned lessons, and hope for building a fulfilling next chapter.

If you're looking for a great guide book to figure out what you want to be "when you grow up", here's the link to get the book, What Color is my Parachute.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why planning for military retirement should start years before leaving service

• The surprising emotional toll of identity loss and community shifts

• How to navigate the paradox of excitement and grief during transition

• The role of self-awareness in managing stress, irritability, and change

• Practical ways couples can plan and adapt together 

• How sleep, exercise, and routines help create a new sense of normal

• Why building (or rebuilding) community is essential for emotional health

• The importance of giving yourself—and others—time and grace in the process

This is a conversation about change, courage, and the reality that two things can be true: you can be ready to move forward and still mourn what you’ve left behind.