Episode 2 - Two (Dos)

Two (Dos) is a thriller that winds up being more goofy than tense.  Which makes it perfect for this show

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Theme song is gonna go here if I ever fucking get one.
Hey, hey, welcome back everybody to Disaster Peace Theater.
The only show on the internet where you can listen to a middle aged man talking shit about some pretty awful movies.
.9995You know the drill by now. 5 00:00:20,694.9995 --> 00:00:23,155 So without any further ado, we're gonna jump right into it.

(00:23):
.999This week's utter trainwreck is a beautiful little gem on Netflix called 2.
Or, if you're nasty, you can find it in the original Italian version, Dopes.
.999And so, what we've got here, according to Netflix, is two strangers awaken to discover their abdomens have been sewn together and are further shocked when they learn who's behind their horrifying ordeal.

(00:47):
I don't want to spoil anything, but it is neither shocking, nor terrifying.
And it's, it's a fucking mess.
So, what it really is, is, uh, I've got a few ideas.
First up, this is probably someone half assing their therapy assignment about trying to process their own internal desire to fuck their sister.

(01:11):
Ooh, spoiler alert.
So, uh, yeah, not great, not great.
Um, another option, for what this may be, is an idea that would have worked way better as a short film than trying to stretch it out into a full length movie.
Quibi.
Would have been great if it was still around, but sadly, shit ideas go under all the time, and yet this cinematic abortion gets to live. 18 00:01:39,749.999 --> 00:01:46,770 My third theory about what this actually is, is an excuse for the filmmaker to spend time with a naked woman for a few days.

(01:46):
Because my god, there is nothing but gratuitous nudity throughout.
But whatever it is, It is definitely, without a doubt, a cinematic piece of shit.
And we're gonna dive into all the horrible atrocity that is Netflix's 2.

(02:07):
Alright, the, the show opens with two people, uh, laying in what appears to be a hotel room, naked, and laying one directly on top of the other.
Now, I don't know about you, but I've tried sleeping with a weighted blanket before, and that 25 pounds completely fucked me up.
So, I'm gonna call this the single most comfortable thing I've ever seen in my life.

(02:31):
So, clearly, nothing is amiss when you've got these two people lying blissfully passed out on top of one another.
Tension builds as our female character wakes up, and doesn't recognize the individual she's sleeping on top of, and starts to panic.
Now, this is supposed to read like a scene of terror, where the woman has no idea where she is or how she got there.

(02:54):
But all we see is this attractive woman waking up to a guy who looks like Ralph Macchio fucked a potato.
So, normal.
Normal reaction.
So, she tries to pull away immediately, realizing the mistake that she has made, and They immediately, both man and woman, start screaming in pain.
In fact, as a woman pulls away, she starts screaming, Let go of me! Which is really funny because the man has his arms at his sides, not, not holding her at all.

(03:22):
So after the reveal of I'm Not Touching You, the movie does a nice big close up of what looks like these two people being stitched, you know, bellybutton to bellybutton, which would have made for a very difficult shot, and a very difficult, uh maneuver with the camera and all of the filming, so the director realized that, man, that would be a lot of fucking work if these people were really stitched together, you know, button to button.

(03:48):
So instead of doing that, they just kind of roll with it and say, Ah, fuck it.
.999They're, they're actually sewn together on the sides.
You, you didn't see that, but we don't have enough film to go back and reshoot all of that.
We got to keep every shot we've got.
They could have just edited, or they don't need to leave this in the movie.
.9Oh my god, this, this movie has never found a shot that it does not want to edit.

(04:09):
Everything that was filmed stayed in the final product.
So now that they've, uh, they've had this revelation that they're stitched together, they're surprisingly fucking cool about it.
.999They just kind of settle in for a little pillow talk, and then as, as they're settling in and having their, their fun little chat, this dude starts bragging about having a huge hammer. 43 00:04:33,594.999 --> 00:04:37,854.999 Despite being naked the whole time, the movie is never interested in proving this.

(04:38):
So, one of the things they do is just chill in bed.
If I had ever found myself stitched next to somebody, the very first thing I would be trying to do is finding a way to get myself separated.
I don't care who it is, that is the absolute first thing I would do, and yet these people spend about 15 minutes just bullshitting around in the bed.

(05:02):
Chatting, figuring out who they are, what they like, you know, turn ons, turn offs, all the classic shit.
So then eventually, after they spend some time fucking around, before standing up, they find a little remote control and the sketchy fucking guy immediately recognizes this as a camera remote control.

(05:24):
And I say that they find a remote control.
That's a little bit disingenuous.
.999Someone hands it to the female character from off screen. 52 00:05:33,180.099 --> 00:05:38,844.9 I mean, she straight up reaches into the air and pulls this remote out of off screen.
fucking pocket dimension like she's Scarlet Witch or some shit.
The director was watching a little bit too much Doctor Strange and just said, fuck it, I can't figure out a good way to do this.

(05:47):
Slim ring, here we go.
So now that they've uncovered their first clue and, and really got to know each other on a deeper level, they're finally ready to get out of bed and figure out how to get the fuck off each other.
So they try standing up and once they finally do get up, the movie has this beautiful shot of the fucking painted ass silly putty that is connecting them.

(06:14):
And, and between all of the pieces that are stitched together here, they've got anywhere between half a foot and five feet of room between each other to move around.
It's fucking insane. 60 00:06:25,790.1 --> 00:06:33,020 It, it, which just goes to show kids, never commit unless you've got a really, really good props and makeup department.
They could have chosen to have them covered with a sheet.

(06:37):
They could have chosen to have them do any number of things to creatively edit around how much space and how horrible it looks trying to have these two together.
And yet, the movie decides, well, we've got a budget of about five bucks.
Let's go ahead and try it.
.999You have to give it credit.
This shit is swingin big, and I, I love it.

(06:58):
It's just beautiful.
So they're stitched together, right? And they decide You know, it's time to go and make our way around this shitty little box of a room that we find ourselves in.
.999So they shimmy over to the bathroom, and between the two of them drank about two gallons of water before they got knocked unconscious, stitched together, and woke up in this hotel room.

(07:19):
So they, the woman, really needs to take a piss.
.9995So instead of, you know, crouching side by side, squatting, doing any number of things, they decide that they need to piss belly to belly, one sitting on top of the other. 72 00:07:33,679.9995 --> 00:07:33,779.9 And that's it.
You know, totally natural, the way you would, especially if you're stoned to death and on your fucking side! So after, you know, the woman does, takes care of her business, Uh, they, they get up and switch places and the guy just kinda looks at her and shrugs like, Uh, uh, I don't know how to pee unless I'm standing up.

(07:54):
You know, classic macho asshole bullshit.
And she just looks at him and goes, Don't be fucking weird.
Just, just sit down.
You're, you're not that big.
I can see it.
.899So, they, after everything is taken care of, all bladders are relieved, we've got clear to run for the rest of the movie. 80 00:08:14,89.999 --> 00:08:24,710 They manage to go over to a nightstand, and, of course, naked ass dude decides, I'm not only the sketchiest, rapiest motherfucker in the world, I'm also a master lockpick.

(08:26):
.9So he picks the lock on this locked nightstand drawer, and they find some clues, blah, blah, blah, blah.
None of this fucking matters.
What does matter that there is a mirror on the nightstand and in the mirror We see that the actors have switched places and they have no idea which side of their body they are stitched together on. 84 00:08:43,834.999 --> 00:08:59,010 It's beautiful I've watched this scene three, no less than three times because I was like surely there's there's no way The whole point of this movie is that you've got two people sewn together You can't just go flipping that shit up on the fly.

(08:59):
You can't possibly get confused on that one.
.999But no, they are legitimately switching places.
.999They are sewn together on the complete opposite side of their body.
It's almost like someone who was making the scene forgot how mirrors work. 89 00:09:13,310.001 --> 00:09:14,149.999 Oh, it's amazing. 90 00:09:14,429.999 --> 00:09:21,159.999 I can hear the conversation right now that happened between the director and the makeup team. 91 00:09:21,769.999 --> 00:09:25,649.999 The guy who put the silly putty on.

(09:27):
Hey, fuck you, Carl.
Mirrors make everything reverse, so we need to unreverse it, or else no one is going to be, everyone, no one is going to know what the fuck is happening.
.999I am making art! Uh, I, I am genuinely shocked.
Genuinely shocked that there is no continuity department on this movie, but hey, what do you expect when you blow your entire budget on some gack and renting your friend's one bedroom apartment for the weekend? Ah, just, mwah, beautiful.

(09:57):
.999So now, now we're getting to the Scooby Doo portion of the movie, which is just fantastic.
We, we see, as the couple starts looking around the room, they see some, some paintings.
.9We see some paintings.
You know, they see objects and they see everything in mimicking the number two.

(10:18):
Two paintings, two bouquets of flowers, you know, fucking two of everything.
Huh, you get it? Do you get it yet? But as they're looking around, we see that one of the wall pictures has an eye hole cut out, and there's clearly some dude watching from the back like it's a, like it's an honest to god Scooby Doo moment.

(10:39):
Beautiful, just beautiful.
All of a sudden, gasp! The phone rings! And then we pick, our heroes manage to shimmy their way over without ripping their, their stitches out, and they pick up the phone.
And there's just some classical music playing over the phone line.
.999And in that moment, our intrepid heroine, who looks like a discount Katherine Hahn, who refuses to stand close enough to the guy to make it even remotely believable that they're sewn together.

(11:09):
It's fucking great.
She's This woman could not have wanted to be in this movie any less.
.9I don't know what to say.
The director had on her or or somebody somebody's blackmailing her to be in this movie naked the entire time and she Absolutely does not want to be there.
I don't know if the guy she was next to smelled really bad.

(11:31):
I don't know if if He was a fucking asshole.
I don't know, but she could not be bothered to stand any closer to him.
Like, there was clearly an on set discussion of, no, fuck you. 114 00:11:47,159.999 --> 00:11:48,170 This guy's trash.
.999I hate him.
No, I'm not gonna stand next to him.
Fuck you.
My tits are out anyway.

(11:52):
It's all you get. 120 00:11:53,19.999 --> 00:11:55,130 I am not getting any closer than I have to.
Oh my god, just, just incredible.
Anyway, so they're, they're about 20 feet apart from each other when she goes when she picks up the phone and hears that the classical music playing and Realizes that her husband Mario did this to them now We're going to meet Mario and I'm putting that in scare quotes Later in the movie Mario is a much older man than she is I mean, to the point where it's, it strains credulity.

(12:27):
I'm, I'm not here to shit on anybody for what their relationship is, but if you're dating somebody who is about 40 years older than you, God love you. 124 00:12:37,444.999 --> 00:12:40,434.999 You have made some life choices that I'm not sure I would.
So, uh, we find out a little bit about her husband in the clunkiest exposition filled way possible.
He's all about the number two.

(12:48):
.999He's been He's been doing research on, on, uh, number two, like he's some kind of fucking number two truther.
And now I can't help but think, what happened? To make this man so focused on the number two.
Like, did the number two kill his fucking parents? And steal his children? What happened? What made this guy decide that he needed to go down the quest to understand the number two? What the fuck don't you get about the number two, dawg? It's just one more than one.

(13:26):
I'm not doing this.
I told myself I wouldn't go down this rabbit hole.
There's too much to find! Okay, so.
.999After the exposition dump.
Uh.
We immediately flip gears back, and our intrepid heroine accuses Potato Macchio of being a gigolo.
Again, the tonal swings in this movie are from deadly serious to, uh, sitcom? It's very strange.

(13:55):
But anyway, it turns out she's right.
.999When you just make blatant accusations about people, at least in this world, apparently they are spot fucking on.
At some point in the movie, um, probably about 45 minutes in, they manage to wrap towels neatly around their bodies, which absolutely would not be possible thanks to the blob of cornstarch that's connecting them together.

(14:18):
But, they found a way.
Apparently the budget that they had ran out, and the woman said, Well, you only paid for about 45 minutes of nudity.
And if you want to save any for the end, you're gonna have to cover me up now. 143 00:14:31,704.999 --> 00:14:34,095 Which is, you know, empowering.
.999Good, good job. 145 00:14:35,644.999 --> 00:14:45,275 So, they found a way to nest the towel in between themselves, so that they're standing right next to each other, but yet both perfectly individually wrapped. 146 00:14:45,944.999 --> 00:14:47,295 Just, just amazing.

(14:48):
Okay.
So, now.
Discount Catherine Han has decided that Potato Macchio is not, in fact, the person who stitched himself to her.
.999As if any fucking person would be stupid enough to stitch themselves to another human being.
Again, I'm not here to kink shame.
If body, bodily mutilation and stitching yourself to somebody else is your kink, I mean, that's between you, your consenting partner, and whatever therapist you need to see.

(15:16):
And you know what? That's totally fine.
But, in reality I don't think that's anybody's thing, and I've been to some weird corners of the internet.
So, once we've decided that, you know, subjecting himself to incredible pain and having to perform surgery on himself was not really a viable possibility, uh, she's decided that, well, now that Potato Macchio is not the villain, he's absolutely 100 percent the love interest.

(15:50):
.999And the reason for this is because the filmmakers don't believe that women have actual agency.
They're all just prizes to be claimed or obstacles to overcome. 158 00:15:58,884.999 --> 00:16:04,815 Hence why her tits have been out the whole movie, and Don McFucksalot is just somehow then completely unexposed.
So, finally, finally, about 50 or so minutes into this movie, they decide to do what I would have tried to do immediately, which is cut their stitches off.

(16:16):
And, when they do cut their stitches off, they don't N nothing happens.
They don't separate from each other, which begs the question, how long have they been like this? They find that their skin has already started to heal and fuse into itself.
That's not something that happens post surgery.
That takes a good amount of time, especially for any sort of integration that would, you know, prevent you from just being able to Push somebody slightly off.

(16:44):
I get it.
It would be painful, but man more painful than being next to Fucking Donnie Wahlberg for an entire movie.
.999I Don't think so. 167 00:16:57,934.999 --> 00:17:30,240 So discount Katherine Hahn freaks out again and gets mad at him again Because women have mood swings says the film director and at which point this fucking disgusting potato of a human Stops her being mad at him Once again, this movie is remarkably problematic and does not believe for one goddamn second that women can do or think or be any way other than objects of rage or lust. 168 00:17:30,619.999 --> 00:17:31,239.999 That's it.

(17:32):
And what makes it extra worse is that she starts kissing him back.
Just, just real fucking problematic.
So as, as the makeout session kicks off and the movie once again provides a huge tonal shift, the phone starts ringing and actually this time there's a voice on the other end of the line.

(17:53):
.999And as this person starts talking to them, our intrepid heroine tells the man that she is stitched up to that.
The voice on the phone was not her husband.
.999BUM BUM BUUUUUM And as what this movie thinks is the plot somehow thickening, we're gonna take a break, because fuck it, it's my show, we're taking a break. 175 00:18:17,289.999 --> 00:18:24,410 But when we come back, we'll dive into what somehow gets even more convoluted and problematic of a finale.

(18:27):
No advertisers were harmed in the making of this podcast.
Alright, we're back.
.999Now, we left off after finding out that two humans have suddenly got wolverine powers only when their skin is touching, and that the person who has kidnapped them is not who they thought kidnapped them. 179 00:18:47,560.099 --> 00:18:50,410 Real fuckin suspenseful shit.

(18:51):
Now, as we keep going on, the movie is like, Oh, man.
You know what? It doesn't make a whole lot of sense that two people would really just get stuck together and all of a sudden magic heal right on to one another.
So, they really get clunky about it and go, basically, Hey, what's your blood type? Um, oh man, that's my blood type. 183 00:19:12,639.999 --> 00:19:13,119.999 No.

(19:13):
Really? Oh, what are the fucking odds? As if the director was looking at me through the camera saying, See, Tom, we did think about the science of it all.
And I'm here to say, Fuck you, movie.
You absolutely did not.
This is some bullshit.
But, again, we, we, we need to move right along from that because fuck any sort of critical analysis.

(19:37):
Now, uh, Discount Catherine Han once again has another breakdown, and the Potato Man AGAIN decides to calm her down by kissing her.
.999And once again, it works.
I, I can't tell you how fucking gross this movie is by basically turning Stockholm Syndrome and sexual assault into one delicious cocktail of eww.

(20:02):
But anyway, so every time that they start kissing, the lights turn off.
And so they, the.
Our two victims decide that they're going to punish their kidnapper by relocating the kidnapping to the bone zone. 195 00:20:18,185.1 --> 00:20:23,695 Oh no, that is so bad. 196 00:20:23,854.999 --> 00:20:24,235 All right.

(20:24):
Hey guys, this is future Tom cutting in.
Uh, I apologize for that last joke, but it made me laugh so hard that there was no way I could cut it.
Uh, enjoy! So our heroes notice that every time they decide to start kissing, that the lights go off.
So they decide to punish their kidnapper by fucking each other brainless.

(20:45):
And somehow, this plan works.
So they start fucking, and in walks the kidnapper, and this motherfucker looks like he walked in off the set from a completely different movie.
.999Okay, so this guy is this heavyset old guy with some sweet yellow blackout glasses.

(21:06):
A super dope number two neck tattoo, which is always a bold choice.
.999And he comes in looking like the corpse from Weekend at Bernie's did enough coke to bring it back to life and he is here to PARTY BABY! So, this dude looks like George Lucas hit a midlife crisis and rode that out for the rest of his life. 206 00:21:27,204.999 --> 00:21:29,194.999 Just fucking bananas. 207 00:21:29,464.999 --> 00:21:36,030 He could be in a Hawaiian shirt with a And it wouldn't be any fucking weirder than it is.

(21:37):
It's so good.
And he comes in and he's so mad.
Well, he's supposed to be so mad.
.999He just stands there kind of going, Hey, you kids knock it off. 212 00:21:46,720.099 --> 00:21:49,970 It's so good.
.999And then as soon as he comes in and you, they don't respond to scolding. 214 00:21:54,729.999 --> 00:21:56,430 Uh, he gets a little bit closer.
They kick him, knock him out on the end table, and suddenly they're free.

(22:01):
.899So these two, uh, finally free from their one little, little prison box, they find themselves out into the hallway of backstory and exposition that unveils the entire plot of the movie. 217 00:22:14,19.999 --> 00:22:18,260 They find out that they're actually brother and sister.
They were conjoined twins.
Their mom died.

(22:22):
Dad had paranoid schizophrenia, and then they became wards of the state, which apparently separated them and hid them from each other.
.999Why? That's my only question.
Why? Why would the state decide to not only separate these two children from each other, um, but keep them a secret from each other? What, what benefit does that add? This isn't like some dystopian movie, this is set in fucking Italy. 223 00:22:51,920.1 --> 00:22:59,359.999 The Italian government just really has a fucking hate boner for any sort of conjoined twins.

(23:00):
Go fuck yourself.
Uh, side note, Kidnapper has a vibe that says he would absolutely not interrupt, interrupt anybody getting down regardless of whether or not they were his kids fucking each other.
.9This guy is dead.
Creepiest most disgusting slimy piece of shit ever and there's not a chance in hell He would have stopped them. 228 00:23:23,124.999 --> 00:23:45,755 He would have waited until they finished then come in and scolded them But again neither here nor there so they make it out into this hallway and yet enter Once they go through the the tunnel of exposition they find themselves entering yet another dark room But as they enter into this secondary area where we'll have the movie's dramatic conclusion.

(23:47):
The camera focuses on George Lucas's fat doppelganger, and without moving in any way like a human being, he just rolls himself out of the frame.
I'm not gonna lie to you, podcast listener, I had to stop the movie.
I was laughing so hard.
He, this guy, he's been lying in the background like a corpse this entire time that our heroes are journeying and finding out all about themselves.

(24:14):
Which is a good five minutes of screen time. 234 00:24:17,119.999 --> 00:24:20,645 And this guy is just in the back, dead.
He's, he's, he might as well have put up a sign that said this is a dead body and then all of a sudden the camera fucking hard zooms in on him and he might as well just shout out WEEEEE as he rolls his fat ass out of frame.

(24:36):
.999It's, it's, it's so fucking good. 237 00:24:38,394.999 --> 00:24:39,544.999 I love it so much. 238 00:24:39,545.099 --> 00:24:43,135 It's the stupidest thing I've ever seen.
Okay.
So, I couldn't keep watching the movie at this point.
I, I was so in love with this filthy sleazy piece of shit that I had to do some theorizing, and so my theory is that this is the guy who owned the house where they filmed this piece of shit, and his only condition for letting him use it was that he got to be in the movie and do whatever he wanted to do.

(25:05):
And if anyone tried kicking him out, he would just say, No, you don't get to make a movie in my house anymore.
And they bought it hook, line, and sinker.
It's the only way that I can make sense of all of this, where he just comes in and he's like, Hey, I just got these super cool glasses like the kids wear.
.001I'm wearing them in the movie.
.999Oh, fine.
Just, just do it.
I want to roll around like a scary movie monster! And the director had to have had this conversation with him where he's just like, George, come on, man.

(25:32):
This is taking my deadly serious film about conjoined twins having magic powers or some shit, who cares, and ruining the atmosphere and immersion.
I'm gonna have to put my foot down.
Oh, no, no, please.
No, no, no, no.
Uh, um, I can't you know, I can't afford to go anywhere else.
.9995Did you did you see the play doh stitching? Come on, man It's it's horrible. 255 00:25:51,99.9995 --> 00:25:51,780 I can't do it. 256 00:25:52,939.999 --> 00:25:53,299.999 Fine. 257 00:25:53,729.999 --> 00:25:54,59.999 Fine.

(25:54):
.999You you can writhe around like a fucking scary movie monster You can do whatever you want.
I I just I just need to do this.
I need my art to reach the world It's so fucking stupid Oh This guy's the best.
He's the fucking best part of the movie, hands down.
Okay, so now that, uh, now that Fat George Lucas has rolled out of film, out of screen, we're able to continue to the conclusion of the movie, which sees our two heroes, there's only like five minutes of movie left at this point by the way, so they have, they've escaped their confinement and they enter just a fucking airplane hangar.

(26:35):
Why? Fuck you.
The movie's not interested in answering that anymore. 265 00:26:38,494.999 --> 00:26:47,354.999 So they're, they're wandering out there and they see animals in cages, some of them laying dead, with two animals sewn together. 266 00:26:48,174.999 --> 00:26:52,275 And the implication is clear, their dad's really shitty at taxidermy.
So we, we have a final confrontation with our heroes and, and discount George Lucas and it ends in a fucking shootout.

(27:02):
.999This movie took a hard left into, well we gotta have some kind of fucking ending and I have no idea how to stick this landing so let's just fucking go for it.
So they, they have a shootout, dad tries to tell them to get back in the room and the kids are just like, I don't want to go, fuck you, you're not my real dad, we're 40. 270 00:27:22,419.999 --> 00:27:22,920 And so.

(27:24):
The brother, Potato Macho, who turns out to be the brother, uh, ends up shooting and killing his dad.
Did he kill his dad? Oh, who fucking cares? After all is said and done, a shootout ensues, the brother winds up dead, the potato macchio ends up dead, discount Catherine Hahn manages to rip herself free from him, uh, the father gets killed, and so the best character in the movie is dead, and uh, as discount Catherine Hahn makes it out of the airplane hangar, she finds herself all alone, and In a remote, isolated, mountain wilderness.

(28:06):
And, and snow, as far as the eye can see.
She's bleeding from, As soon as she disconnected from her, her long lost, Conjoined twin brother, Her healing factor turned off, and now she's bleeding out.
Yeah, just, just awful.
So she's stumbling, naked again, because, Again, the director paid for a certain number of film minutes.

(28:28):
God damn it, he was going to get his money's worth.
So she's stumbling naked through the, the, the white snow forest and there is no hope in sight.
And, and so she turns around to go back and now with this brother that she has suddenly, in a course of literally no more than 45 minutes of screen time, has developed this massive affinity for and this deep abiding love for.

(28:55):
Turns around and tries to crawl back to him, and they die, arms touching, in a ying yang.
.999And so, the movie does this slow, dramatic pan, and, and, like, there's just white snow.
.999Blood red starting to pool all around like it's some fucking artsy bullshit like it's like it's some deep abiding meaningful art as opposed to just a fucking piece of shit and these two just reaching out to touch each other like The filmmaker clearly thinks he's got some Michelangelo creation of Adam type symbolism going on here But he's just got two fucking people dying next to each other and it couldn't be any more contrived Bullshit and just such a fucking beautiful mess.

(29:50):
.0625Oh man I hate this movie so much. 284 00:29:54,165.0625 --> 00:29:55,555.0625 It's so fucking bad. 285 00:29:56,205.0625 --> 00:29:59,435.0625 Oh, and, and with that, it just fades out. 286 00:29:59,735.0625 --> 00:30:09,665.0615 Everybody dies, everything gets wrapped up in a nice neat bow, I guess, which is better than I usually get when we do these kinds of dumb shit movies, so it works out. 287 00:30:09,745.0625 --> 00:30:14,565.0625 Everything, uh, resolves itself, and, and I get to have a good chuckle about it now. 288 00:30:15,205.0625 --> 00:30:24,10.0625 What did we learn in all of this? Well, I would say that my biggest takeaway from this movie is Never, ever, ever. 289 00:30:24,290.0625 --> 00:30:30,430.0615 What I've learned in all of this is that you should absolutely 100 percent never pay to have a set. 290 00:30:30,830.0625 --> 00:30:31,200.0625 Ever. 291 00:30:31,830.0625 --> 00:30:40,940.0625 You need to find somebody who owns a one bedroom apartment and let have convinced them to let you use it in exchange for a bit role in the movie. 292 00:30:41,210.0625 --> 00:30:48,110.0625 They will give you nothing but comedy gold And always listen to every single one of their crazy ideas. 293 00:30:48,570.0625 --> 00:30:53,530.0625 Trust me, any aspiring filmmakers out there, this is absolutely the way to go. 294 00:30:54,890.0625 --> 00:30:59,160.0625 And with that, I'm left trying to figure out how to rate this movie. 295 00:30:59,830.0615 --> 00:31:03,460.0615 It doesn't feel appropriate to rate it on a scale of anything other than 0 to 2. 296 00:31:04,380.0615 --> 00:31:09,255.0625 In which case, I would have to give this 19 feet of silly putty. 297 00:31:10,225.0625 --> 00:31:13,745.0625 Oh, just, just so beautiful. 298 00:31:14,25.0625 --> 00:31:16,615.0625 This movie, again, you can find it on Netflix. 299 00:31:16,635.0625 --> 00:31:22,425.0625 It is, uh, it's dubbed in a way that doesn't add or detract to the movie. 300 00:31:22,695.0625 --> 00:31:32,575.0615 Nothing super special about it, but if you've got a little over an hour and you will find that you could have done literally anything else for a little over an hour. 301 00:31:33,705.0615 --> 00:31:36,35.0615 And with that, we're going to. 302 00:31:36,690.0625 --> 00:31:44,490.0625 Close the curtain here, bring the house lights back up, and, and, uh, the disaster has come to a close. 303 00:31:45,60.0625 --> 00:31:47,980.0625 Thank you so much for listening to Disaster Peace Theater. 304 00:31:48,40.0625 --> 00:31:49,880.0625 I have been your host, Tom Truffileau. 305 00:31:51,700.0615 --> 00:31:52,850.0625 I hope you had a great time. 306 00:31:53,30.0625 --> 00:31:54,90.0625 God knows I did. 307 00:31:54,530.0625 --> 00:31:56,490.0625 And I hope to come back for our next episode.