July 16, 2025 • 32 mins
In our latest discourse, we confront the pervasive and insidious issue of pornography addiction, which is often deceptively dismissed as manageable yet profoundly undermines one's spiritual, emotional, and relational integrity. We unequivocally assert that this addiction is not merely a struggle but a form of enslavement that wreaks havoc on personal lives, marriages, and spiritual authority. As we delve into the stark realities of this secret addiction, we explore its far-reaching consequences, underscoring the necessity for brutal honesty and a transformative approach to reclaiming one's identity in Christ. Through the poignant narrative of David, a man ensnared by this vice, we illuminate the path to liberation and the critical importance of accountability, community, and divine intervention. Join us as we endeavor to expose these uncomfortable truths and empower listeners to seek true freedom through the transformative power of faith.
A profound exploration of the hidden struggles faced by many men, this episode delves into the detrimental effects of pornography addiction. With an earnest and unapologetic tone, the host draws attention to the deceptive narratives that individuals often create to rationalize their behavior. He articulates the harsh truth that many believe they have control over their habits, when in reality, these habits ensnare them in a cycle of shame, guilt, and spiritual disconnection. The episode serves not merely as an admonition but rather as a clarion call to confront the ruinous impact of such addictions on personal relationships, spiritual vitality, and overall well-being. Through vivid anecdotes and compelling statistics, the narrative elucidates how this addiction threatens the sanctity of marriage and spiritual authority, underscoring the need for radical honesty and transformative change. In the latter part of the episode, the host provides listeners with practical strategies to overcome the chains of addiction, highlighting that true liberation transcends mere behavioral modification and requires a deep understanding of one’s identity in Christ.
Takeaways:
- The pervasive issue of pornography is often mischaracterized as a manageable habit, when in fact it constitutes a profound addiction that can severely impact one's relationships and spiritual vitality.
- Many individuals are unaware that their habitual engagement with pornography leads to detrimental consequences, including emotional distress, marital discord, and spiritual disconnection.
- The fundamental truth is that individuals struggling with pornography often deceive themselves into believing they maintain control, whereas, in reality, they are ensnared in a cycle of slavery and bondage.
- Awareness of one's identity as a beloved child of God is crucial; this understanding can facilitate a transformative journey towards purity and liberation from the chains of addiction.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You keep telling yourself yougot this under control while it's
controlling your life.
You think nobody knows, butit's written all over your dead eyes,
your weak prayers.
Today we're exposing thesecret addiction that is wrecking
your marriage, killing yourconfidence, and destroying your spiritual
(00:22):
authority.
Discipleship decoded.
The porn problem you swear youhave under control but don't time
to get brutally honest.
Let's talk about it.
You just locked intodiscipleship decoded.
Where we get raw, real andrelevant about what it means to follow
Christ in a culture that isabsolutely losing its mind.
(00:44):
This ain't about playing church.
We're here to make disciplespreach the truth and call out everything
that opposes the kingdom of God.
So if you're tired of watereddown messages or already for some
real talk, you're in the right place.
I'm your host, Malden Mitchell.
Now, let's get into it.
My guy, let's be real.
(01:06):
You're sitting there tellingyourself, I got this under control.
It's not that bad.
I can stop anytime I want.
It's just stress relief.
But your browser history tellsan altogether different story, man.
Your marriage tells adifferent story, and your prayer
(01:27):
life tells a different story.
And this may be hard to hear,but you've been living a double life
for so long that you forgotwhich one is the real you.
Sunday morning, you're leadingworship, teaching Sunday school,
praying for others.
Sunday night, you're back onthe screen, feeding the beast that
(01:49):
is eating you alive.
And here is the gut punchtruth that's about to shatter every
lie that you tell yourself.
You don't have it under control.
It has you under control.
So this ain't about divingdeep, but it is about getting free
from the secret addiction thatis destroying your life one click
(02:11):
at a time.
Man, there are so many studiesout there, but 91% of men were exposed
to pornography before the ageof 18.
And 64% of us Christian menview pornography at least once a
month.
And 18% of Christian men viewpornography multiple times per week.
(02:33):
But with all these studiesthat we hear, most of us that were
in that addiction and thosethat are still struggling with it
think that we have it under control.
What we don't realize is thatit is affecting our relationships.
It is not just a harmless outlet.
(02:54):
But if it's so harmless, whydo you hide it?
If it's so controlled, thenwhy can't you stop if it's so innocent?
And then why do you feel soguilty when you engage in it?
And so if this stress relief,why does it create more stress?
And if it's not affectingeverything and anything in your life,
(03:17):
then why is your marriage dying?
See, you've been tellingyourself comfortable lies to avoid
uncomfortable truth.
You've been minimizing thedamage to avoid dealing with the
destruction.
And everybody always wants tocall it a struggle when it really
(03:38):
is slavery, it's weakness whenit's really warfare and habits when
it's really hell.
But today, we're about toexpose the real cost of your so called
harmless addiction.
The spiritual cost, therelational cost, the emotional cause
and the physical cause.
(03:59):
We're about to show you howpornography is rewiring your brain,
rewrecking your relationshipsand destroying your spiritual authority.
And we're about to give you abomb kingdom strategy to break free
from the chains that you sweardon't exist.
Because the truth is you ain'tin control.
(04:20):
Your bondage, it's time to getdelivered from it.
Now, I know that stung becausethe truth always does.
But before we dive into God'sword about your harmless habit, let
me tell you something that'sgoing to change how you see purity.
Don't go nowhere, becausewe're about to get real biblical
in a few moments.
Stay tuned.
(04:41):
Ladies, listen up.
If you've got a man in yourlife, your husband, your man, your
brother, he needs to be lockedinto discipleship, decoded.
We're always saying we want aman who's healed, who leads, who's
solid.
But truth is, most men werenever shown how.
This podcast, it's the missing link.
(05:01):
It's real, it's raw, it'scalling men higher without beating
them down.
So, sis, do what you do.
Send him the link, drop it inhis inbox, slide it in the combo.
Because when he grows, thefamily grows, the future grows, the
whole household levels up.
Trust me, this right here,it's different.
And honestly, it'll be.
He'll thank you for it later.
(05:24):
Welcome back to Discipleship Decoded.
And if you just joined us,we're talking about the porn problem.
You swore that you got undercontrol, but you actually don't.
Now you heard me expose thelies that you tell yourself.
But now it's time to hear whatGod says.
Because when the word speaksabout purity, everything else is
(05:49):
just noise.
So I want you to listen towhat Jesus said over in the book
of Matthew, chapter 5, verse 28.
He says, But I tell you,everyone who looks at a woman lustfully
has already committed adulterywith her in his heart.
Already committed adultery,not might commit, not could lead
(06:11):
to already Committed.
So every time you click,you're committing adultery in your
heart.
And every time you watch,you're betraying your wife, your
future wife and your savior.
Job, chapter 31, verse 1 cuts deeper.
It says, I have made acovenant with my eyes.
How then could I look at ayoung woman with desire?
(06:35):
A covenant with his eyes?
See, our boy Job understoodthat his eyes were the gateway to
his heart.
That what he looked at woulddetermine what he lusted after.
But you been treating youreyes like they don't even matter.
Like your screen time isinnocent and you're viewing habits
(06:57):
like they have no consequences.
First Corinthians, chapter 6,verse 19, 20 brings the fire.
Don't you know that your bodyis the temple of the Holy Spirit?
Who is in you, whom you havefrom God.
You are not your own, for youwere bought with a price.
So glorify God with your body.
(07:18):
Your body is a temple.
Not a playground, not adumping ground, but an actual temple.
And you've been bringingpornographic images into the holies
of holies, defiling thetemple, grieving the spirit and dishonoring
the king.
Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 3seals the deal.
(07:41):
It says, but sexual immoralityand any impurity or greed should
not even be named among you,as is proper for the saints, my man.
This shouldn't even be named.
Not just don't do it, butdon't even talk about it.
Don't even think about it,don't even entertain it.
(08:03):
But you got a bookmark on yourbrowser, saved on your phone, stored
in your mind and scheduledinto your routine.
Second Peter, chapter two,verse 19.
Destroys every excuse.
It says they promised themfreedom, but they themselves are
(08:23):
slaves of corruption, sincepeople are enslaved to whatever defeats
them.
Enslave, my man, to whateverdefeats you.
See, you think pornographygives you freedom, but it is making
you a slave.
You think it gives youcontrol, but it's actually controlling
(08:45):
you, man.
I remember way, way back in myyouth when I first saw what they
used to call back in the day,a dirty magazine.
And you know, growing up inthe hood where I grew up from, it
was almost like one of thosethings where it was quote, unquote,
(09:07):
a rite of passage.
Had no idea that the enemy wasputting seeds in me that I would
struggle for years and yearsto come.
I mean, the masturbation, Imean, the pornography led to masturbation
and fantasizing and all thesekind of different things, man.
And I had no idea that theenemy had his clutches in me.
(09:31):
And I prayed and I prayed for Deliverance.
But all the while, while I waspraying for deliverance and while
I said that I repented, Itruly didn't repent because I still
had that desire, I still hadthat yearning to go after those sexually
immoral things.
And so you think it gives youpower, but it's making you powerless.
(09:52):
And I had to come to realizethat the Bible don't whisper, so
why should you?
And see, God's standards ain'ttry to look less, but God's standard
says don't look at all.
And just like Job, I had tomake a covenant with my eyes.
And brother, if you'restruggling with this, you're going
to have to make a covenantwith your eyes as well.
(10:13):
Because you've been livingbeneath the standard, beneath your
calling.
And you've been living behindyour identity.
And you've been treatingholiness like it is a suggestion
instead of a command, bro.
You've been treating puritylike it's an optional, like it's
only for certain select few ofChristians instead of seeing it as
(10:35):
an obligation to every Christian.
So man, I knew this brothernamed David.
David was a leader in his church.
This brother was like aworship pastor.
He was married for 12 yearswith three beautiful kids and he
was respected in the community.
But David had this secret.
(10:56):
I mean for 15 years since hewas a teenager, he had been addicted
to pornography.
It started innocent enoughcuriosity as a kid, then it became
a habit in high school, thenit became a full blown out addiction
in college.
And then it became a lifestylein the marriage.
(11:18):
And I know that society willsay hey man, to spice up your, your
marital life or your, your sexlife with your spouse, that you know,
you need to implement otherthings or you need to watch porn
together.
And you know, know why somecircles agree with that, some don't.
But I, I think it's just oneof those things that are really opening
yourself up to a spiritual stronghold.
(11:41):
And see, David told himselfall the lies.
It's not hurting anyone.
My wife doesn't know theultimate lie that I can stop at any
time.
He says that it just releasedstress and it's better than cheating.
But the addiction wasdestroying everything that he claimed
(12:02):
to love, bro.
His marriage was dying.
His wife felt rejected,unwanted, inadequate, because she
felt like she had to measureup to the porn stars that he was
looking at.
And she couldn't understandwhy her husband wasn't interested
in intimacy with her.
(12:24):
His kids were sufferingbecause daddy was always distracted,
distant, always disconnected.
And even though he was inministry, it was powerless because
he had no authority to speakagainst sin when he was enslaved
to sin, bro.
His prayers were weak becausehe couldn't look God in the face
(12:47):
with a clear conscience.
But David kept tellinghimself, I got this under control.
Until one day, his eight yearson walked in on a watching pornography.
The shame in his son's eyesand the confusion on his face.
The innocent that was stolenin that moment.
(13:08):
And that day, David realizedthe truth.
He didn't have it under control.
It had him under control.
He wasn't viewing pornographyonly, but pornography was viewing
him.
It was studying him.
It was learning his weaknessesand exploiting his vulnerabilities.
(13:28):
See, he wasn't just watching.
He was being watched bydemonic forces that were documenting
his every move, planning forhis destruction.
And that day, David stoppedmaking excuses and started seeking
deliverance.
He confessed to his wife everything.
(13:50):
The years of deception, thedouble life, the secret addiction.
I mean, he confessed to hispastor, his accountability partners,
his men's group.
He brought his secret into the light.
Where secrets go to die.
(14:10):
What he did was installaccountability software.
He got rid of his smartphone,changed his Internet settings, and
removed every trigger from his environment.
But most importantly, hestopped trying to manage his behavior
and started changing his identity.
He stopped asking, how do Istop watching porn?
(14:32):
And started asking, who am Iin Christ?
He stopped focusing on what hecouldn't do and started focusing
on what he was called to be.
And you know what happenedwhen David discovered his true identity
as a son of God, Holy andbeloved, pure and powerful.
(14:56):
The desire for pornographydidn't just get managed, but it got
destroyed.
Because the sons of the Kingdon't consume trash.
Holy men don't defile templesand beloved children don't seek counterfeit
love.
And so David learned thatidentity determines behavior.
(15:19):
And when you know who you are,you'll know what to watch.
When you know whose you are,you'll know where to look.
And when you know your value,you won't seek validation from pixels
on a screen.
So David's story shattered you.
(15:40):
I know it did.
Because you see yourself inthe struggle.
You feel the shame and youknow the cycle.
But here's the thing.
David's breakthrough came whenhe stopped lying to himself and.
And started facing the truth.
And that's what we're about todo right now.
We're about to strip awayevery excuse, every justification
(16:01):
and every lie that you tell yourself.
Stay with me for the next section.
Man, let me tell you something.
I used to think I had to carryit all by myself.
Broken, angry, addicted tostuff nobody knew about too ashamed
to say a word.
Smiling on the outside, butdying on the inside.
(16:21):
But then I locked in withdiscipleship, decoding, and I found
the huddle.
A real space with real brothers.
No masks, no judgment.
Men who have been through it.
Men who hold you accountable.
Men who help you heal.
And for the first time, Iwasn't alone.
So if you're tired of fightingbattles in silence, if you're done
pretending and you're ready togrow, connect with us.
Step into the huddle.
(16:42):
Let's build the man God calledyou to be.
Don't sit this out.
Lock in, grow up.
Move forward.
This is the huddle, and youbelong here.
All right.
(17:02):
Discipleship.
The coolest family.
We back, and we're about to go deep.
And so, look, you heard all ofthe statistics, and you heard what
the word of God says.
You heard my boy David's story.
But it's time for the mirror.
It's time to face the brutaltruth about your harmless habit.
(17:24):
And I'm warning you, this isabout to get personal.
This is about to get uncomfortable.
This is about to expose everylie that you tell yourself.
But if you didn't wantfreedom, you shouldn't have came
here, because you gotta facethe truth.
So buckle up, because here we go.
You already know what it is, bro.
(17:45):
You've been lying to yourselfabout your harmless habit, and you've
been minimizing the damagewhile maximizing the excuses.
So let me ask you some brutalquestions, and I want you to be devastatingly
honest.
How many times have you toldyourself that this is the last time?
(18:09):
I mean, how many times haveyou promised God you would stop playing
with yourself, masturbating,looking at porn, looking at fetish
videos, only to go back thenext day?
I mean, how many times haveyou deleted your browser history
(18:30):
thinking that it would deleteyour problem?
Like, when are you going toget tired of feeling disgusted with
yourself immediately after youwent back anyway?
And if you got it undercontrol, why can't you go 30 days
without it if it's not hurting anyone?
(18:50):
Why do you hide it fromeveryone if it's just stress relief,
bro, why does it create morestress, more guilt, and more shame?
I'm going to tell you straightup that that is a lie from the pit
of hell.
And if it's better thancheating, why does your wife feel
cheated on?
(19:10):
And here's what's really happening.
You're rewiring your brain.
See, every time you watch,you're creating neural pathways that
make it easier for you towatch again.
You're training your brain toseek instant gratification, artificial
(19:30):
stimulation and counterfeit intimacy.
And, bruh, you are destroyingyour marriage.
Your wife ain't stupid.
She can feel the distance.
She can feel the disconnectionand the rejection.
And she knows that somethingis wrong, even if she can't quite
put her finger on it.
(19:52):
She feels like she's competingwith something but doesn't know what.
And you're killing yourconfidence every time you give in.
You're telling yourself, I'mweak, I'm powerless, I'm a failure.
And you're reinforcing avictim mentality instead of a victor
(20:15):
identity.
You're grieving the Holy Spirit.
See, every click on a pornsite is a slap in the face to the
one who died for your purity.
Every view is a betrayal ofthe one who lives inside of you.
(20:35):
Every session is a rejectionof the one who calls you to be holy.
Bro, you are opening demonic doors.
Pornography just ain't entertainment.
It's spiritual warfare.
And every image you view is alegal right that you give the enemy
(21:01):
to torment your mind.
Every video you watch is aninvitation for demonic spirits to
influence your thought.
You are destroying yourspiritual authority.
How can you pray for otherpeople's deliverance when you're
(21:21):
stuck in bondage?
How can you speak against sinwhen you're enslaved to sin?
And how can you lead others tofreedom when you're in chains?
But here's the truth that yourefuse to face.
You don't have it under control.
(21:43):
You're addicted.
You're enslaved.
You are bound and you're captive.
And the first step to gettingfree is admitting that you're not
free.
And for the love of God, stopcalling it a struggle and call it
what it is, slavery.
(22:03):
Stop calling it weakness andcall it what it is, warfare.
And stop calling it a habitand call it what it is, hell.
Because until you get honestabout the problem, you'll never get
serious about the solution.
And brother, until you admitthat you've been addicted to, you'll
(22:26):
never seek deliverance.
And until you confess, you'rein bondage.
You'll never cry out for freedom.
See, the enemy wants to keepyou minimizing, keep you rationalizing
and keep you compromising.
Because as long as you thinkthat you got it under control, you'll
never seek the help you need.
(22:48):
As long as you believe that itis not bad or that you can, you'll
never get radically deliveredwith that mentality.
And as long as you think thatit's just a struggle, you'll never
wage spiritual warfare.
And the truth is this ain'tabout behavior modification, but
it's about spiritual liberation.
(23:11):
This ain't just about stoppingan activity, but it is about starting
a revolution in your soul.
You need more thanaccountability software.
You need spiritual authority.
You need more than Internet filters.
You need heart transformation.
You need.
You need more than behavior management.
(23:33):
You need identity renovation.
Because pornography ain't justa sin problem, it's a son problem.
You don't know who you are.
You don't know whose you areand why you matter and what you're
worth.
Because you've been seekingvalidation from pixels instead of
(23:56):
affirmation from the Father.
Intimacy rather from screensinstead of identity from the Savior.
Satisfaction from videosinstead of significant from the King.
And when you discover yourtrue identity as a son of the most
(24:17):
high, holy, beloved, pure andpowerful, the desire for pornography
won't just be managed, butit'll be destroyed.
Because sons of the king don'tconsume trash, holy men don't defile
temples, and beloved childrendon't seek counterfeit love.
(24:39):
Are you a warrior or are you a wimp?
Because pure warriors don'tentertain perversion.
And powerful men don't submitto pixels on a screen.
So here's what you got to understand.
Freedom ain't about fighting temptation.
Freedom is about fixing your foundation.
(25:01):
You can't behavior modify yourway out of addiction crisis.
You can't willpower your wayout of spiritual warfare, and you
can't discipline your way outof demonic bondage.
The solution ain't moreaccountability, more restrictions,
or more rules.
The solution is new identity,new foundation, new understanding
(25:25):
of who you are.
And here's the kingdomstrategy to break free forever.
Bro.
I need you to stop calling ita struggle and call it slavery.
Stop calling it a weakness andcall it for what it is.
Warfare.
Your secret has power becauseit's secret.
(25:48):
Bring it into the light wheresecrets go to die, man.
Tell your wife, tell yourpastor, tell your accountability
partner, and tell someone thatyou trust.
And this is drastic, man.
You may have to get rid ofyour smartphone.
You gotta installaccountability software on your computer.
(26:11):
Change your Internet settings,remove every trigger from your environment.
If your right eye causes youto send, pluck it out.
And if your right hand causesyou to send, cut it off.
Stop believing that you'reweak and start declaring, I'm strong
in the Lord.
Stop believing I'm addictedand start declaring, I'm free in
(26:34):
Christ, bro.
Stop believing that I can'thelp it and start declaring I can
do all things through ChristJesus who strengthens me.
Man, we gotta fill our mindswith scripture instead of smut, worship
instead of wickedness, prayerinstead of pornography.
And when you feed, or whateveryou feed will grow and whatever you
(26:59):
starve, it'll die.
I heard this brother say theother day that lessons that we refuse
to learn life has a way ofteaching us.
Stop seeing yourself as anaddict trying to get clean and start
seeing yourself as a son whois already pure.
(27:22):
Stop identifying with yourpast, man, and start identifying
with the bright future thatyou have in Christ and that freedom
that you have in Christ.
You got to put on the wholearm of God.
You got to take up the swordof the spirit.
You got to fight your own freedom.
You got to battle for your own purity.
(27:44):
And you got to find your why.
Why do you want to be free?
For your wife, for your kids,for your ministry, for your Savior.
So, like, when the temptationcomes, remember why.
Let it be stronger than your want.
(28:06):
And here's my final word.
Listen to me.
You don't have to have itunder control.
You just need to ask and makeup your mind that God is your deliverer
and he knows everything thatyou're going through.
See, the same Jesus who sentthe demoniac free can set you free.
(28:31):
The same power that raisedChrist from the dead lives inside
of you.
The same spirit that conqueredsin and death can conquer your addiction.
You're not a case that is toohard for God.
But you got to stop lying toyourself about having it under control.
You got to get honest aboutyour bondage so you can get serious
(28:54):
about your freedom.
Jesus didn't die so that youcould manage your sin.
He died so that you can bedelivered from sin.
And he didn't rise so that youcould cope with addiction.
He rose so that you couldconquer addiction.
He didn't send the spirit soyou could have better self control.
(29:15):
He sent the spirit so that youcan have supernatural power.
I'm telling you, God ain'tabout behavior modification.
He's about identity and transformation.
So it ain't about trying harder.
It's about becoming someone different.
And when you discover bro,when you discover your true identity
(29:37):
as a son of God, then thatdesire for pornography won't just
be managed, but it'll be destroyed.
Because like I said before,the sons of the King don't consume
trash.
Pure warriors don't entertain perversion.
And powerful men don't submitto pixels.
(30:00):
Right now, this moment, familyJesus is offering you total freedom.
Not partial victory, nottemporary relief, not better management,
but total freedom.
But you Got to stop lying toyourself and start crying out to
(30:23):
him.
Stop saying, I got this undercontrol, and start saying, jesus,
take control.
Stop managing the addictionand start destroying the addiction.
Stop coping with bondage andstart breaking the bondage, because
you don't have it undercontrol, but he can give you supernatural
(30:46):
control.
You ain't strong enough tobreak these chains, but he is strong
enough to shatter these chains.
And you can't deliver yourselffrom this addiction, but he can deliver
you into total freedom.
The porn problem you swearthat you have under control but don't
can be destroyed today.
(31:07):
And if you're willing to gethonest about the problem and get
serious about the solution anddesperate for deliverance, because
this is Discipleship Decoded,and I'm your host, Malden Mitchell.
And remember, you are not whatyou have done.
You are who God says you are.
Walk in that truth.
Live in that power and lovefrom that place.
(31:30):
And until next time, stay strong.
Stay pure, Stay free.
Thank you for locking in withme today on Discipleship Decoded.
I don't take it lightly thatyou tapped in, and I pray that something
you heard sparked somethingreal in you.
If it did, do me a favor.
(31:52):
Subscribe to the podcast soyou'll never miss an episode.
And don't keep it to yourself.
Share this with somebody whoneeds it.
We're building men.
We're building disciples.
We're building legacy.
One conversation at a time.
I'll catch you on the next one.
This is Discipleship to Cody.
(32:17):
Sa.
You keep telling yourself yougot this under control while it's
controlling your life.
You think nobody knows, butit's written all over your dead eyes,
your weak prayers.
Today we're exposing thesecret addiction that is wrecking
your marriage, killing yourconfidence, and destroying your spiritual
(00:22):
authority.
Discipleship decoded.
The porn problem you swear youhave under control but don't time
to get brutally honest.
Let's talk about it.
You just locked intodiscipleship decoded.
Where we get raw, real andrelevant about what it means to follow
Christ in a culture that isabsolutely losing its mind.
(00:44):
This ain't about playing church.
We're here to make disciplespreach the truth and call out everything
that opposes the kingdom of God.
So if you're tired of watereddown messages or already for some
real talk, you're in the right place.
I'm your host, Malden Mitchell.
Now, let's get into it.
My guy, let's be real.
(01:06):
You're sitting there tellingyourself, I got this under control.
It's not that bad.
I can stop anytime I want.
It's just stress relief.
But your browser history tellsan altogether different story, man.
Your marriage tells adifferent story, and your prayer
(01:27):
life tells a different story.
And this may be hard to hear,but you've been living a double life
for so long that you forgotwhich one is the real you.
Sunday morning, you're leadingworship, teaching Sunday school,
praying for others.
Sunday night, you're back onthe screen, feeding the beast that
(01:49):
is eating you alive.
And here is the gut punchtruth that's about to shatter every
lie that you tell yourself.
You don't have it under control.
It has you under control.
So this ain't about divingdeep, but it is about getting free
from the secret addiction thatis destroying your life one click
(02:11):
at a time.
Man, there are so many studiesout there, but 91% of men were exposed
to pornography before the ageof 18.
And 64% of us Christian menview pornography at least once a
month.
And 18% of Christian men viewpornography multiple times per week.
(02:33):
But with all these studiesthat we hear, most of us that were
in that addiction and thosethat are still struggling with it
think that we have it under control.
What we don't realize is thatit is affecting our relationships.
It is not just a harmless outlet.
(02:54):
But if it's so harmless, whydo you hide it?
If it's so controlled, thenwhy can't you stop if it's so innocent?
And then why do you feel soguilty when you engage in it?
And so if this stress relief,why does it create more stress?
And if it's not affectingeverything and anything in your life,
(03:17):
then why is your marriage dying?
See, you've been tellingyourself comfortable lies to avoid
uncomfortable truth.
You've been minimizing thedamage to avoid dealing with the
destruction.
And everybody always wants tocall it a struggle when it really
(03:38):
is slavery, it's weakness whenit's really warfare and habits when
it's really hell.
But today, we're about toexpose the real cost of your so called
harmless addiction.
The spiritual cost, therelational cost, the emotional cause
and the physical cause.
(03:59):
We're about to show you howpornography is rewiring your brain,
rewrecking your relationshipsand destroying your spiritual authority.
And we're about to give you abomb kingdom strategy to break free
from the chains that you sweardon't exist.
Because the truth is you ain'tin control.
(04:20):
Your bondage, it's time to getdelivered from it.
Now, I know that stung becausethe truth always does.
But before we dive into God'sword about your harmless habit, let
me tell you something that'sgoing to change how you see purity.
Don't go nowhere, becausewe're about to get real biblical
in a few moments.
Stay tuned.
(04:41):
Ladies, listen up.
If you've got a man in yourlife, your husband, your man, your
brother, he needs to be lockedinto discipleship, decoded.
We're always saying we want aman who's healed, who leads, who's
solid.
But truth is, most men werenever shown how.
This podcast, it's the missing link.
(05:01):
It's real, it's raw, it'scalling men higher without beating
them down.
So, sis, do what you do.
Send him the link, drop it inhis inbox, slide it in the combo.
Because when he grows, thefamily grows, the future grows, the
whole household levels up.
Trust me, this right here,it's different.
And honestly, it'll be.
He'll thank you for it later.
(05:24):
Welcome back to Discipleship Decoded.
And if you just joined us,we're talking about the porn problem.
You swore that you got undercontrol, but you actually don't.
Now you heard me expose thelies that you tell yourself.
But now it's time to hear whatGod says.
Because when the word speaksabout purity, everything else is
(05:49):
just noise.
So I want you to listen towhat Jesus said over in the book
of Matthew, chapter 5, verse 28.
He says, But I tell you,everyone who looks at a woman lustfully
has already committed adulterywith her in his heart.
Already committed adultery,not might commit, not could lead
(06:11):
to already Committed.
So every time you click,you're committing adultery in your
heart.
And every time you watch,you're betraying your wife, your
future wife and your savior.
Job, chapter 31, verse 1 cuts deeper.
It says, I have made acovenant with my eyes.
How then could I look at ayoung woman with desire?
(06:35):
A covenant with his eyes?
See, our boy Job understoodthat his eyes were the gateway to
his heart.
That what he looked at woulddetermine what he lusted after.
But you been treating youreyes like they don't even matter.
Like your screen time isinnocent and you're viewing habits
(06:57):
like they have no consequences.
First Corinthians, chapter 6,verse 19, 20 brings the fire.
Don't you know that your bodyis the temple of the Holy Spirit?
Who is in you, whom you havefrom God.
You are not your own, for youwere bought with a price.
So glorify God with your body.
(07:18):
Your body is a temple.
Not a playground, not adumping ground, but an actual temple.
And you've been bringingpornographic images into the holies
of holies, defiling thetemple, grieving the spirit and dishonoring
the king.
Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 3seals the deal.
(07:41):
It says, but sexual immoralityand any impurity or greed should
not even be named among you,as is proper for the saints, my man.
This shouldn't even be named.
Not just don't do it, butdon't even talk about it.
Don't even think about it,don't even entertain it.
(08:03):
But you got a bookmark on yourbrowser, saved on your phone, stored
in your mind and scheduledinto your routine.
Second Peter, chapter two,verse 19.
Destroys every excuse.
It says they promised themfreedom, but they themselves are
(08:23):
slaves of corruption, sincepeople are enslaved to whatever defeats
them.
Enslave, my man, to whateverdefeats you.
See, you think pornographygives you freedom, but it is making
you a slave.
You think it gives youcontrol, but it's actually controlling
(08:45):
you, man.
I remember way, way back in myyouth when I first saw what they
used to call back in the day,a dirty magazine.
And you know, growing up inthe hood where I grew up from, it
was almost like one of thosethings where it was quote, unquote,
(09:07):
a rite of passage.
Had no idea that the enemy wasputting seeds in me that I would
struggle for years and yearsto come.
I mean, the masturbation, Imean, the pornography led to masturbation
and fantasizing and all thesekind of different things, man.
And I had no idea that theenemy had his clutches in me.
(09:31):
And I prayed and I prayed for Deliverance.
But all the while, while I waspraying for deliverance and while
I said that I repented, Itruly didn't repent because I still
had that desire, I still hadthat yearning to go after those sexually
immoral things.
And so you think it gives youpower, but it's making you powerless.
(09:52):
And I had to come to realizethat the Bible don't whisper, so
why should you?
And see, God's standards ain'ttry to look less, but God's standard
says don't look at all.
And just like Job, I had tomake a covenant with my eyes.
And brother, if you'restruggling with this, you're going
to have to make a covenantwith your eyes as well.
(10:13):
Because you've been livingbeneath the standard, beneath your
calling.
And you've been living behindyour identity.
And you've been treatingholiness like it is a suggestion
instead of a command, bro.
You've been treating puritylike it's an optional, like it's
only for certain select few ofChristians instead of seeing it as
(10:35):
an obligation to every Christian.
So man, I knew this brothernamed David.
David was a leader in his church.
This brother was like aworship pastor.
He was married for 12 yearswith three beautiful kids and he
was respected in the community.
But David had this secret.
(10:56):
I mean for 15 years since hewas a teenager, he had been addicted
to pornography.
It started innocent enoughcuriosity as a kid, then it became
a habit in high school, thenit became a full blown out addiction
in college.
And then it became a lifestylein the marriage.
(11:18):
And I know that society willsay hey man, to spice up your, your
marital life or your, your sexlife with your spouse, that you know,
you need to implement otherthings or you need to watch porn
together.
And you know, know why somecircles agree with that, some don't.
But I, I think it's just oneof those things that are really opening
yourself up to a spiritual stronghold.
(11:41):
And see, David told himselfall the lies.
It's not hurting anyone.
My wife doesn't know theultimate lie that I can stop at any
time.
He says that it just releasedstress and it's better than cheating.
But the addiction wasdestroying everything that he claimed
(12:02):
to love, bro.
His marriage was dying.
His wife felt rejected,unwanted, inadequate, because she
felt like she had to measureup to the porn stars that he was
looking at.
And she couldn't understandwhy her husband wasn't interested
in intimacy with her.
(12:24):
His kids were sufferingbecause daddy was always distracted,
distant, always disconnected.
And even though he was inministry, it was powerless because
he had no authority to speakagainst sin when he was enslaved
to sin, bro.
His prayers were weak becausehe couldn't look God in the face
(12:47):
with a clear conscience.
But David kept tellinghimself, I got this under control.
Until one day, his eight yearson walked in on a watching pornography.
The shame in his son's eyesand the confusion on his face.
The innocent that was stolenin that moment.
(13:08):
And that day, David realizedthe truth.
He didn't have it under control.
It had him under control.
He wasn't viewing pornographyonly, but pornography was viewing
him.
It was studying him.
It was learning his weaknessesand exploiting his vulnerabilities.
(13:28):
See, he wasn't just watching.
He was being watched bydemonic forces that were documenting
his every move, planning forhis destruction.
And that day, David stoppedmaking excuses and started seeking
deliverance.
He confessed to his wife everything.
(13:50):
The years of deception, thedouble life, the secret addiction.
I mean, he confessed to hispastor, his accountability partners,
his men's group.
He brought his secret into the light.
Where secrets go to die.
(14:10):
What he did was installaccountability software.
He got rid of his smartphone,changed his Internet settings, and
removed every trigger from his environment.
But most importantly, hestopped trying to manage his behavior
and started changing his identity.
He stopped asking, how do Istop watching porn?
(14:32):
And started asking, who am Iin Christ?
He stopped focusing on what hecouldn't do and started focusing
on what he was called to be.
And you know what happenedwhen David discovered his true identity
as a son of God, Holy andbeloved, pure and powerful.
(14:56):
The desire for pornographydidn't just get managed, but it got
destroyed.
Because the sons of the Kingdon't consume trash.
Holy men don't defile templesand beloved children don't seek counterfeit
love.
And so David learned thatidentity determines behavior.
(15:19):
And when you know who you are,you'll know what to watch.
When you know whose you are,you'll know where to look.
And when you know your value,you won't seek validation from pixels
on a screen.
So David's story shattered you.
(15:40):
I know it did.
Because you see yourself inthe struggle.
You feel the shame and youknow the cycle.
But here's the thing.
David's breakthrough came whenhe stopped lying to himself and.
And started facing the truth.
And that's what we're about todo right now.
We're about to strip awayevery excuse, every justification
(16:01):
and every lie that you tell yourself.
Stay with me for the next section.
Man, let me tell you something.
I used to think I had to carryit all by myself.
Broken, angry, addicted tostuff nobody knew about too ashamed
to say a word.
Smiling on the outside, butdying on the inside.
(16:21):
But then I locked in withdiscipleship, decoding, and I found
the huddle.
A real space with real brothers.
No masks, no judgment.
Men who have been through it.
Men who hold you accountable.
Men who help you heal.
And for the first time, Iwasn't alone.
So if you're tired of fightingbattles in silence, if you're done
pretending and you're ready togrow, connect with us.
Step into the huddle.
(16:42):
Let's build the man God calledyou to be.
Don't sit this out.
Lock in, grow up.
Move forward.
This is the huddle, and youbelong here.
All right.
(17:02):
Discipleship.
The coolest family.
We back, and we're about to go deep.
And so, look, you heard all ofthe statistics, and you heard what
the word of God says.
You heard my boy David's story.
But it's time for the mirror.
It's time to face the brutaltruth about your harmless habit.
(17:24):
And I'm warning you, this isabout to get personal.
This is about to get uncomfortable.
This is about to expose everylie that you tell yourself.
But if you didn't wantfreedom, you shouldn't have came
here, because you gotta facethe truth.
So buckle up, because here we go.
You already know what it is, bro.
(17:45):
You've been lying to yourselfabout your harmless habit, and you've
been minimizing the damagewhile maximizing the excuses.
So let me ask you some brutalquestions, and I want you to be devastatingly
honest.
How many times have you toldyourself that this is the last time?
(18:09):
I mean, how many times haveyou promised God you would stop playing
with yourself, masturbating,looking at porn, looking at fetish
videos, only to go back thenext day?
I mean, how many times haveyou deleted your browser history
(18:30):
thinking that it would deleteyour problem?
Like, when are you going toget tired of feeling disgusted with
yourself immediately after youwent back anyway?
And if you got it undercontrol, why can't you go 30 days
without it if it's not hurting anyone?
(18:50):
Why do you hide it fromeveryone if it's just stress relief,
bro, why does it create morestress, more guilt, and more shame?
I'm going to tell you straightup that that is a lie from the pit
of hell.
And if it's better thancheating, why does your wife feel
cheated on?
(19:10):
And here's what's really happening.
You're rewiring your brain.
See, every time you watch,you're creating neural pathways that
make it easier for you towatch again.
You're training your brain toseek instant gratification, artificial
(19:30):
stimulation and counterfeit intimacy.
And, bruh, you are destroyingyour marriage.
Your wife ain't stupid.
She can feel the distance.
She can feel the disconnectionand the rejection.
And she knows that somethingis wrong, even if she can't quite
put her finger on it.
(19:52):
She feels like she's competingwith something but doesn't know what.
And you're killing yourconfidence every time you give in.
You're telling yourself, I'mweak, I'm powerless, I'm a failure.
And you're reinforcing avictim mentality instead of a victor
(20:15):
identity.
You're grieving the Holy Spirit.
See, every click on a pornsite is a slap in the face to the
one who died for your purity.
Every view is a betrayal ofthe one who lives inside of you.
(20:35):
Every session is a rejectionof the one who calls you to be holy.
Bro, you are opening demonic doors.
Pornography just ain't entertainment.
It's spiritual warfare.
And every image you view is alegal right that you give the enemy
(21:01):
to torment your mind.
Every video you watch is aninvitation for demonic spirits to
influence your thought.
You are destroying yourspiritual authority.
How can you pray for otherpeople's deliverance when you're
(21:21):
stuck in bondage?
How can you speak against sinwhen you're enslaved to sin?
And how can you lead others tofreedom when you're in chains?
But here's the truth that yourefuse to face.
You don't have it under control.
(21:43):
You're addicted.
You're enslaved.
You are bound and you're captive.
And the first step to gettingfree is admitting that you're not
free.
And for the love of God, stopcalling it a struggle and call it
what it is, slavery.
(22:03):
Stop calling it weakness andcall it what it is, warfare.
And stop calling it a habitand call it what it is, hell.
Because until you get honestabout the problem, you'll never get
serious about the solution.
And brother, until you admitthat you've been addicted to, you'll
(22:26):
never seek deliverance.
And until you confess, you'rein bondage.
You'll never cry out for freedom.
See, the enemy wants to keepyou minimizing, keep you rationalizing
and keep you compromising.
Because as long as you thinkthat you got it under control, you'll
never seek the help you need.
(22:48):
As long as you believe that itis not bad or that you can, you'll
never get radically deliveredwith that mentality.
And as long as you think thatit's just a struggle, you'll never
wage spiritual warfare.
And the truth is this ain'tabout behavior modification, but
it's about spiritual liberation.
(23:11):
This ain't just about stoppingan activity, but it is about starting
a revolution in your soul.
You need more thanaccountability software.
You need spiritual authority.
You need more than Internet filters.
You need heart transformation.
You need.
You need more than behavior management.
(23:33):
You need identity renovation.
Because pornography ain't justa sin problem, it's a son problem.
You don't know who you are.
You don't know whose you areand why you matter and what you're
worth.
Because you've been seekingvalidation from pixels instead of
(23:56):
affirmation from the Father.
Intimacy rather from screensinstead of identity from the Savior.
Satisfaction from videosinstead of significant from the King.
And when you discover yourtrue identity as a son of the most
(24:17):
high, holy, beloved, pure andpowerful, the desire for pornography
won't just be managed, butit'll be destroyed.
Because sons of the king don'tconsume trash, holy men don't defile
temples, and beloved childrendon't seek counterfeit love.
(24:39):
Are you a warrior or are you a wimp?
Because pure warriors don'tentertain perversion.
And powerful men don't submitto pixels on a screen.
So here's what you got to understand.
Freedom ain't about fighting temptation.
Freedom is about fixing your foundation.
(25:01):
You can't behavior modify yourway out of addiction crisis.
You can't willpower your wayout of spiritual warfare, and you
can't discipline your way outof demonic bondage.
The solution ain't moreaccountability, more restrictions,
or more rules.
The solution is new identity,new foundation, new understanding
(25:25):
of who you are.
And here's the kingdomstrategy to break free forever.
Bro.
I need you to stop calling ita struggle and call it slavery.
Stop calling it a weakness andcall it for what it is.
Warfare.
Your secret has power becauseit's secret.
(25:48):
Bring it into the light wheresecrets go to die, man.
Tell your wife, tell yourpastor, tell your accountability
partner, and tell someone thatyou trust.
And this is drastic, man.
You may have to get rid ofyour smartphone.
You gotta installaccountability software on your computer.
(26:11):
Change your Internet settings,remove every trigger from your environment.
If your right eye causes youto send, pluck it out.
And if your right hand causesyou to send, cut it off.
Stop believing that you'reweak and start declaring, I'm strong
in the Lord.
Stop believing I'm addictedand start declaring, I'm free in
(26:34):
Christ, bro.
Stop believing that I can'thelp it and start declaring I can
do all things through ChristJesus who strengthens me.
Man, we gotta fill our mindswith scripture instead of smut, worship
instead of wickedness, prayerinstead of pornography.
And when you feed, or whateveryou feed will grow and whatever you
(26:59):
starve, it'll die.
I heard this brother say theother day that lessons that we refuse
to learn life has a way ofteaching us.
Stop seeing yourself as anaddict trying to get clean and start
seeing yourself as a son whois already pure.
(27:22):
Stop identifying with yourpast, man, and start identifying
with the bright future thatyou have in Christ and that freedom
that you have in Christ.
You got to put on the wholearm of God.
You got to take up the swordof the spirit.
You got to fight your own freedom.
You got to battle for your own purity.
(27:44):
And you got to find your why.
Why do you want to be free?
For your wife, for your kids,for your ministry, for your Savior.
So, like, when the temptationcomes, remember why.
Let it be stronger than your want.
(28:06):
And here's my final word.
Listen to me.
You don't have to have itunder control.
You just need to ask and makeup your mind that God is your deliverer
and he knows everything thatyou're going through.
See, the same Jesus who sentthe demoniac free can set you free.
(28:31):
The same power that raisedChrist from the dead lives inside
of you.
The same spirit that conqueredsin and death can conquer your addiction.
You're not a case that is toohard for God.
But you got to stop lying toyourself about having it under control.
You got to get honest aboutyour bondage so you can get serious
(28:54):
about your freedom.
Jesus didn't die so that youcould manage your sin.
He died so that you can bedelivered from sin.
And he didn't rise so that youcould cope with addiction.
He rose so that you couldconquer addiction.
He didn't send the spirit soyou could have better self control.
(29:15):
He sent the spirit so that youcan have supernatural power.
I'm telling you, God ain'tabout behavior modification.
He's about identity and transformation.
So it ain't about trying harder.
It's about becoming someone different.
And when you discover bro,when you discover your true identity
(29:37):
as a son of God, then thatdesire for pornography won't just
be managed, but it'll be destroyed.
Because like I said before,the sons of the King don't consume
trash.
Pure warriors don't entertain perversion.
And powerful men don't submitto pixels.
(30:00):
Right now, this moment, familyJesus is offering you total freedom.
Not partial victory, nottemporary relief, not better management,
but total freedom.
But you Got to stop lying toyourself and start crying out to
(30:23):
him.
Stop saying, I got this undercontrol, and start saying, jesus,
take control.
Stop managing the addictionand start destroying the addiction.
Stop coping with bondage andstart breaking the bondage, because
you don't have it undercontrol, but he can give you supernatural
(30:46):
control.
You ain't strong enough tobreak these chains, but he is strong
enough to shatter these chains.
And you can't deliver yourselffrom this addiction, but he can deliver
you into total freedom.
The porn problem you swearthat you have under control but don't
can be destroyed today.
(31:07):
And if you're willing to gethonest about the problem and get
serious about the solution anddesperate for deliverance, because
this is Discipleship Decoded,and I'm your host, Malden Mitchell.
And remember, you are not whatyou have done.
You are who God says you are.
Walk in that truth.
Live in that power and lovefrom that place.
(31:30):
And until next time, stay strong.
Stay pure, Stay free.
Thank you for locking in withme today on Discipleship Decoded.
I don't take it lightly thatyou tapped in, and I pray that something
you heard sparked somethingreal in you.
If it did, do me a favor.
(31:52):
Subscribe to the podcast soyou'll never miss an episode.
And don't keep it to yourself.
Share this with somebody whoneeds it.
We're building men.
We're building disciples.
We're building legacy.
One conversation at a time.
I'll catch you on the next one.
This is Discipleship to Cody.
(32:17):
Sa.
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