October 16, 2025 • 50 mins
When Leadership Forgets Where They Come From
When leadership forgets what it feels like to be in the trenches, everyone under them feels it first. This episode dives into the burnout that starts at the top — where checklists replace empathy and policy replaces presence.
Because real leadership isn’t about titles. It’s about remembering the weight of the gear, the smell of diesel, and the people still carrying the calls you once ran.
If you’ve ever worked under someone who forgot where they came from — or fear you’re becoming that person — this one’s for you.
Need support right now? Text or call 9 8 8 or visit 9 8 8 lifeline dot org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight. 📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional 🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent 🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor). ⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised. Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines. This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both. Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
9 1 1.
What's your emergency? The following content is graphic emotional.
And includes dark humor that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Discretion is advised.
Explicit content included.
These stories are based on real life EMS and first responder experiences.
The calls are real, the providers are real names, and patient details have been changed to protect privacy.
(00:22):
Episodes may include trauma, suicide abuse, medical emergencies, mental health struggles, or things your HR department would definitely not approve of any advice, opinions, or discussion of medical procedures are based on personal experience.
And should never override your local protocols, medical direction or training.
Use your damn brain.
(00:43):
Follow your guidelines and your local or agency protocols.
Follow your training.
And when in doubt, call med control.
Most importantly, if you're struggling, don't do it alone.
Talk to someone, a coworker, a friend, a therapist, or help.
Reach out to me.
I'll answer.
Need help right now.
Text or call 9 8 8 or visit 9 88 lifeline.org. 20 00:01:08,947.244897959 --> 00:01:11,207.244977829 We come into this job thinking leadership cares. 21 00:01:11,537.879892595 --> 00:01:19,887.879663117 Thinking supervisors remember the smell of decomp in July… the feeling of charting with bloody gloves… or the chaos of trying to coach down a suicidal patient in the middle of the night. 22 00:01:20,268.582892595 --> 00:01:22,368.582901535 But too often, the ones behind the desk forget. 23 00:01:22,786.337897959 --> 00:01:26,66.337958756 They care more about clipboards and audits than the people breaking their backs in the field. 24 00:01:26,435.09088723 --> 00:01:31,505.090701264 This episode is about what happens when leadership drifts too far from the street… and what it looks like when they don’t. 25 00:01:31,842.119897959 --> 00:01:33,912.119920609 It was supposed to be a simple wellness check. 26 00:01:34,200.554892595 --> 00:01:35,550.554901535 Just me and my basic partner. 27 00:01:35,630.554944451 --> 00:01:36,460.554987366 No fire yet. 28 00:01:36,510.554939682 --> 00:01:37,190.55500644 No PD. 29 00:01:37,470.554977829 --> 00:01:39,350.554853852 Family hadn’t heard from their loved one in a week. 30 00:01:39,540.463891999 --> 00:01:40,70.46386339 We knock. 31 00:01:40,220.46389915 --> 00:01:40,570.46386339 Nothing. 32 00:01:40,990.78089796 --> 00:01:41,600.78088246 Walk around. 33 00:01:41,972.4588914 --> 00:01:42,552.45888961 Spring air. 34 00:01:42,552.45888961 --> 00:01:43,92.45891107 Sunshine. 35 00:01:43,452.09589796 --> 00:01:44,262.09587054 And then that smell. 36 00:01:44,623.09388842 --> 00:01:45,303.09386577 Not just bad. 37 00:01:45,303.09386577 --> 00:01:45,843.09388723 The smell. 38 00:01:46,63.09391584 --> 00:01:47,113.09398737 The one you never forget. 39 00:01:47,492.36789796 --> 00:01:49,82.36790154 Rotten, heavy, sticking to your skin. 40 00:01:49,459.28388932 --> 00:01:50,349.28388246 Fire forces the door. 41 00:01:50,349.28388246 --> 00:01:51,359.28387293 PD shows up late. 42 00:01:51,419.2838157 --> 00:01:52,259.28396829 We find him inside. 43 00:01:52,259.28396829 --> 00:01:53,9.28396829 Bedroom oven-hot. 44 00:01:53,79.28390154 --> 00:01:53,899.28383478 Thermostat cranked. 45 00:01:54,149.28383478 --> 00:01:55,279.28394922 Body decomposing in bed. 46 00:01:55,665.79189796 --> 00:01:59,665.79198737 We’re trying not to gag, sweat rolling down our backs, when family bursts in. 47 00:01:59,881.142892 --> 00:02:03,181.14284432 One of them is holding a machete, screaming that we’re not taking his daddy. 48 00:02:03,524.13588842 --> 00:02:06,454.13580617 And suddenly it’s me, my partner, and a blade between us and the door. 49 00:02:06,781.36988932 --> 00:02:07,961.36984432 PD finally rushes in. 50 00:02:07,961.36984432 --> 00:02:08,451.36985385 Drops him. 51 00:02:08,451.36985385 --> 00:02:09,331.36996829 Cuffs flying. 52 00:02:09,690.64389796 --> 00:02:12,220.64395876 And right in the middle of that chaos the sister collapses. 53 00:02:12,280.64390154 --> 00:02:13,110.64382524 Full-blown seizure. 54 00:02:13,462.27688842 --> 00:02:14,112.27689438 No ALS. 55 00:02:14,142.27686577 --> 00:02:14,732.27683955 Just us. 56 00:02:14,997.6738923 --> 00:02:19,437.67412088 We do what we can airway, recovery position, begging dispatch to hurry ALS. 57 00:02:19,757.6738157 --> 00:02:20,717.67385385 She stabilizes. 58 00:02:21,157.67391107 --> 00:02:21,647.67368219 For a minute. 59 00:02:22,100.09988842 --> 00:02:23,330.09987769 And after all that? The machete. 60 00:02:23,470.09986339 --> 00:02:23,990.09984432 The seizure. 61 00:02:23,990.09984432 --> 00:02:30,110.16785385 The stench that stuck in my uniform for days? What did management care about? That the times in my chart didn’t line up. 62 00:02:30,402.84389796 --> 00:02:32,322.84382524 That I missed a checkbox in the ePCR. 63 00:02:32,734.83888842 --> 00:02:34,844.83887293 That’s leadership forgetting where they came from. 64 00:02:35,82.593892 --> 00:02:35,802.59392061 Mid-afternoon. 65 00:02:35,802.59392061 --> 00:02:37,652.59382524 Pager drops: “House fully involved.” 66 00:02:38,8.98889259 --> 00:02:40,468.98879663 We pull up smoke thick, greasy, and wrong. 67 00:02:40,748.98900644 --> 00:02:41,608.98890154 Not just wood burning. 68 00:02:41,728.98878709 --> 00:02:42,368.988892 Something worse. 69 00:02:42,699.41989259 --> 00:02:43,539.41991107 And then we see her. 70 00:02:43,860.41789259 --> 00:02:44,220.417892 Mom. 71 00:02:44,380.41791822 --> 00:02:45,50.41793491 Running out the door. 72 00:02:45,50.41793491 --> 00:02:46,20.41784432 Carrying two kids. 73 00:02:46,20.41784432 --> 00:02:47,230.41788246 Burns all over her arms. 74 00:02:47,545.6108914 --> 00:02:50,655.61092061 She drops them with fire and screams: “My baby’s still inside.” 75 00:02:50,972.16389349 --> 00:02:52,302.16383955 She fights to run back in. 76 00:02:52,392.16387293 --> 00:02:53,472.16379663 Fire tackles her down. 77 00:02:53,472.16379663 --> 00:02:55,192.16406366 She’s screaming, “LET ME BURN WITH HIM.” 78 00:02:55,619.71489796 --> 00:02:56,549.71493491 We get her into the rig. 79 00:02:56,769.71484432 --> 00:02:58,369.71498737 Skin peeling off like wet tissue. 80 00:02:58,679.71493015 --> 00:03:01,349.71500644 She’s not screaming from pain only from losing her son. 81 00:03:01,553.342892 --> 00:03:03,703.34298737 Later, when the flames are out, we help recover him. 82 00:03:04,133.3428157 --> 00:03:07,573.34287293 He’s under an armoire, claw marks on the drawer where he tried to escape. 83 00:03:07,822.730892 --> 00:03:08,952.73088723 That moment broke me. 84 00:03:09,319.48789796 --> 00:03:11,769.48779663 And yet, the post-incident review wasn’t about her pain. 85 00:03:12,162.32188842 --> 00:03:13,882.32188723 It was about response times and forms. 86 00:03:14,252.11788842 --> 00:03:16,42.11793968 That’s leadership forgetting where they came from. 87 00:03:16,424.79389796 --> 00:03:17,764.79390154 But not all leadership fails. 88 00:03:18,23.07089133 --> 00:03:19,933.07094922 Offshore, I found a crewmember dead in his room. 89 00:03:20,63.07082524 --> 00:03:20,833.07080617 Belt in the ceiling. 90 00:03:20,863.07077756 --> 00:03:21,633.0709969 Chair kicked out. 91 00:03:22,34.02289259 --> 00:03:23,644.022892 I thought I’d carry that weight alone. 92 00:03:24,30.93889259 --> 00:03:25,90.93893968 But then the calls started. 93 00:03:25,470.93893491 --> 00:03:26,900.93888246 Supervisors back on land. 94 00:03:27,50.93897783 --> 00:03:28,40.93898737 My topside doc. 95 00:03:28,480.93904459 --> 00:03:30,290.93898737 Managers I’d barely spoken to before. 96 00:03:30,645.40588842 --> 00:03:31,115.40588723 Not once. 97 00:03:31,145.40591822 --> 00:03:31,745.40588246 Over and over. 98 00:03:32,121.48289796 --> 00:03:33,1.48286339 Random phone calls. 99 00:03:33,1.48286339 --> 00:03:33,661.48294922 Video chats. 100 00:03:33,661.48294922 --> 00:03:34,231.48288246 Not to audit. 101 00:03:34,231.48288246 --> 00:03:34,941.48292061 Not to scold. 102 00:03:35,321.48279663 --> 00:03:36,641.48296829 Just to ask if I was okay. 103 00:03:36,977.67288723 --> 00:03:39,27.67295876 Hundreds of miles from shore, those calls mattered. 104 00:03:39,387.67285385 --> 00:03:40,907.67283478 Reminded me I wasn’t alone. 105 00:03:41,280.14488842 --> 00:03:43,820.14493968 And weeks later, when I finally got off hitch, they asked me to meet up. 106 00:03:43,890.14487293 --> 00:03:44,620.144892 We went to lunch. 107 00:03:44,650.14486339 --> 00:03:45,490.14477756 Not as a company. 108 00:03:45,490.14477756 --> 00:03:46,680.14483478 Not as a checkbox meeting. 109 00:03:46,980.14502551 --> 00:03:48,410.14485385 Just humans who gave a damn. 110 00:03:48,686.96989557 --> 00:03:50,966.96977756 It was the first time I’d met my topside doc in person. 111 00:03:51,276.96995876 --> 00:03:52,106.96988246 Hell of a doctor. 112 00:03:52,246.96998737 --> 00:03:52,916.97006366 Great mentor. 113 00:03:53,136.96985385 --> 00:03:54,666.97006366 My manager and supervisor came too. 114 00:03:55,152.79788663 --> 00:03:57,332.79796829 I’ll be honest I thought I was in trouble. 115 00:03:57,382.79792061 --> 00:03:58,862.79793968 Thought I’d screwed something up. 116 00:03:59,165.94988932 --> 00:03:59,525.94988127 But no. 117 00:03:59,855.94989438 --> 00:04:04,862.14088961 They just wanted to look me in the eye and say: “How are you holding up? Do you need anything?” That’s leadership. 118 00:04:05,82.14085862 --> 00:04:07,422.140892 The kind that doesn’t show up in binders or PowerPoints. 119 00:04:07,452.14086339 --> 00:04:08,912.14066312 Just people showing up for people. 120 00:04:09,329.85088842 --> 00:04:13,209.85085385 And then there was the night tones dropped 54-year-old male, possible overdose. 121 00:04:13,499.8508157 --> 00:04:14,529.85102551 Address was my dad’s. 122 00:04:14,949.07988842 --> 00:04:15,539.079892 I froze. 123 00:04:15,539.079892 --> 00:04:16,329.07985385 My partner didn’t. 124 00:04:16,683.79688723 --> 00:04:18,543.79690154 He grabbed the radio: “We’re going secondary.” 125 00:04:18,942.91288842 --> 00:04:20,692.91285862 And then he told me: “You ride passenger. 126 00:04:20,742.91293015 --> 00:04:21,382.91279663 I’ll handle this.” 127 00:04:21,812.18689796 --> 00:04:23,252.18692538 He made the drive in fifteen minutes. 128 00:04:23,402.18690154 --> 00:04:24,372.18693015 Should’ve been forty-five. 129 00:04:24,727.90089259 --> 00:04:25,937.90091584 Lights, sirens, chaos. 130 00:04:26,216.85789274 --> 00:04:26,766.85791584 We pull up. 131 00:04:26,766.85791584 --> 00:04:28,636.85792061 My dad’s in cardiac arrest on the porch. 132 00:04:28,666.857892 --> 00:04:29,386.85792061 Mom screaming. 133 00:04:29,676.85788246 --> 00:04:30,806.85775848 Friend doing CPR. 134 00:04:31,183.04789259 --> 00:04:32,283.04790154 My partner doesn’t flinch. 135 00:04:32,689.12488842 --> 00:04:34,649.12477756 And here’s the thing he’s not just another medic. 136 00:04:34,897.559892 --> 00:04:36,397.559892 He’s an FTO at our service. 137 00:04:36,497.55991584 --> 00:04:36,937.55985385 A trainer. 138 00:04:36,967.55982524 --> 00:04:38,667.55987293 Someone who’s supposed to represent leadership. 139 00:04:39,41.39189796 --> 00:04:39,971.39193491 And that night, he did. 140 00:04:40,368.14888723 --> 00:04:42,728.14890154 He ran compressions, dropped Narcan, called fire. 141 00:04:42,728.14890154 --> 00:04:45,576.90184908 Then looked at me and said: “You can help if it won’t break you.” 142 00:04:46,249.57788842 --> 00:04:47,169.57793491 We worked him together. 143 00:04:47,249.57785862 --> 00:04:47,969.57788723 And we got him back. 144 00:04:48,422.25389796 --> 00:04:50,932.25397783 When our field supervisor rolled up, he didn’t bring a clipboard. 145 00:04:51,42.25387293 --> 00:04:52,172.25398737 Didn’t ask for policy. 146 00:04:52,591.84589259 --> 00:04:55,912.4809063 He looked at me, looked at my family, and just said: “Go be with them. 147 00:04:56,122.48094445 --> 00:04:56,822.48087293 We’ve got this.” 148 00:04:57,145.83689274 --> 00:04:59,575.83691107 And the land-side supervisor? He backed it. 149 00:05:00,65.83692061 --> 00:05:00,995.83698737 No second-guessing. 150 00:05:01,195.83679663 --> 00:05:02,205.83702551 No micromanaging. 151 00:05:02,575.83691107 --> 00:05:06,995.83651053 Just full support for my partner’s decision to let me step out and be a son, not just a medic. 152 00:05:07,249.73689133 --> 00:05:12,593.93182524 That night, I saw three versions of leadership: My partner an FTO who chose to lead with humanity. 153 00:05:12,932.52589259 --> 00:05:15,612.52582524 My field supervisor, who kept it human instead of robotic. 154 00:05:15,971.11988842 --> 00:05:19,171.11978709 And the land-side supervisor, who trusted their judgment and backed the call. 155 00:05:19,556.99289379 --> 00:05:21,166.99286339 That’s what leadership’s supposed to look like. 156 00:05:21,437.46889349 --> 00:05:23,954.90685862 So here’s the truth: Clipboards don’t save lives. 157 00:05:24,280.3038914 --> 00:05:25,550.30388723 Policies don’t stop burnout. 158 00:05:25,889.26089259 --> 00:05:28,329.2608157 Checklists don’t talk suicidal patients off the ledge. 159 00:05:28,665.65588723 --> 00:05:29,315.65586339 People do. 160 00:05:29,670.89388842 --> 00:05:32,430.89396829 If you’re in leadership get out of the chair once in a while. 161 00:05:32,570.89383478 --> 00:05:33,250.89390154 Ride a shift. 162 00:05:33,350.89380617 --> 00:05:33,980.89368219 Run a call. 163 00:05:34,340.8938157 --> 00:05:39,490.89343424 Remember what it’s like to smell death, to feel adrenaline shake in your hands, to hear families scream. 164 00:05:39,824.11389274 --> 00:05:42,504.11391107 And if you can’t ride anymore? Pick up the damn phone. 165 00:05:42,684.11397783 --> 00:05:43,474.11393968 Call your crews. 166 00:05:43,514.11390154 --> 00:05:44,294.11387293 Meet them for lunch. 167 00:05:44,324.11408273 --> 00:05:44,804.11410181 Show up. 168 00:05:45,208.26389259 --> 00:05:46,788.26392061 Because when you do, it matters. 169 00:05:46,818.263892 --> 00:05:47,878.26383478 It keeps people here. 170 00:05:47,918.26379663 --> 00:05:49,8.26394922 It keeps people alive. 171 00:05:49,351.41589796 --> 00:05:51,181.41591107 And when you don’t? That silence kills. 172 00:05:51,504.09188932 --> 00:05:52,994.0919063 This is Dispatched Dysfunctional. 173 00:05:53,278.80888723 --> 00:05:55,788.8089969 Because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories. 174 00:05:56,178.08289796 --> 00:05:59,808.08286339 And sometimes the biggest failures don’t happen in the street they happen behind a desk. 175 00:06:00,105.47488723 --> 00:06:01,235.47488246 But the opposite is true too. 176 00:06:01,555.47493491 --> 00:06:08,675.47470126 The smallest gestures a phone call, a lunch invite, a supervisor choosing to be human instead of robotic those are the things that keep us standing. 177 00:06:08,955.4978914 --> 00:06:13,90.37293491 So if you’re behind a desk? Remember this: Leadership isn’t about being in charge. 178 00:06:13,453.72889796 --> 00:06:14,413.7289063 It’s about giving a damn. 179 00:06:18,800.48589796 --> 00:06:22,980.4858157 Need support right now? Text or call 988 or visit 9 8 8 lifeline dot org. 180 00:06:23,418.03689379 --> 00:06:25,978.03691107 You’re not alone not in this job, not in this fight. 181 00:06:26,406.63089259 --> 00:06:32,36.63087293 Want to share your story or connect? Visit critical dash run dot com or message the Facebook page Dispatched and Dysfunctional. 182 00:06:32,417.37888842 --> 00:06:34,837.3788157 We’re building this for you, for them, for all of us.
9 1 1.
What's your emergency? The following content is graphic emotional.
And includes dark humor that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Discretion is advised.
Explicit content included.
These stories are based on real life EMS and first responder experiences.
The calls are real, the providers are real names, and patient details have been changed to protect privacy.
(00:22):
Episodes may include trauma, suicide abuse, medical emergencies, mental health struggles, or things your HR department would definitely not approve of any advice, opinions, or discussion of medical procedures are based on personal experience.
And should never override your local protocols, medical direction or training.
Use your damn brain.
(00:43):
Follow your guidelines and your local or agency protocols.
Follow your training.
And when in doubt, call med control.
Most importantly, if you're struggling, don't do it alone.
Talk to someone, a coworker, a friend, a therapist, or help.
Reach out to me.
I'll answer.
Need help right now.
Text or call 9 8 8 or visit 9 88 lifeline.org. 20 00:01:08,947.244897959 --> 00:01:11,207.244977829 We come into this job thinking leadership cares. 21 00:01:11,537.879892595 --> 00:01:19,887.879663117 Thinking supervisors remember the smell of decomp in July… the feeling of charting with bloody gloves… or the chaos of trying to coach down a suicidal patient in the middle of the night. 22 00:01:20,268.582892595 --> 00:01:22,368.582901535 But too often, the ones behind the desk forget. 23 00:01:22,786.337897959 --> 00:01:26,66.337958756 They care more about clipboards and audits than the people breaking their backs in the field. 24 00:01:26,435.09088723 --> 00:01:31,505.090701264 This episode is about what happens when leadership drifts too far from the street… and what it looks like when they don’t. 25 00:01:31,842.119897959 --> 00:01:33,912.119920609 It was supposed to be a simple wellness check. 26 00:01:34,200.554892595 --> 00:01:35,550.554901535 Just me and my basic partner. 27 00:01:35,630.554944451 --> 00:01:36,460.554987366 No fire yet. 28 00:01:36,510.554939682 --> 00:01:37,190.55500644 No PD. 29 00:01:37,470.554977829 --> 00:01:39,350.554853852 Family hadn’t heard from their loved one in a week. 30 00:01:39,540.463891999 --> 00:01:40,70.46386339 We knock. 31 00:01:40,220.46389915 --> 00:01:40,570.46386339 Nothing. 32 00:01:40,990.78089796 --> 00:01:41,600.78088246 Walk around. 33 00:01:41,972.4588914 --> 00:01:42,552.45888961 Spring air. 34 00:01:42,552.45888961 --> 00:01:43,92.45891107 Sunshine. 35 00:01:43,452.09589796 --> 00:01:44,262.09587054 And then that smell. 36 00:01:44,623.09388842 --> 00:01:45,303.09386577 Not just bad. 37 00:01:45,303.09386577 --> 00:01:45,843.09388723 The smell. 38 00:01:46,63.09391584 --> 00:01:47,113.09398737 The one you never forget. 39 00:01:47,492.36789796 --> 00:01:49,82.36790154 Rotten, heavy, sticking to your skin. 40 00:01:49,459.28388932 --> 00:01:50,349.28388246 Fire forces the door. 41 00:01:50,349.28388246 --> 00:01:51,359.28387293 PD shows up late. 42 00:01:51,419.2838157 --> 00:01:52,259.28396829 We find him inside. 43 00:01:52,259.28396829 --> 00:01:53,9.28396829 Bedroom oven-hot. 44 00:01:53,79.28390154 --> 00:01:53,899.28383478 Thermostat cranked. 45 00:01:54,149.28383478 --> 00:01:55,279.28394922 Body decomposing in bed. 46 00:01:55,665.79189796 --> 00:01:59,665.79198737 We’re trying not to gag, sweat rolling down our backs, when family bursts in. 47 00:01:59,881.142892 --> 00:02:03,181.14284432 One of them is holding a machete, screaming that we’re not taking his daddy. 48 00:02:03,524.13588842 --> 00:02:06,454.13580617 And suddenly it’s me, my partner, and a blade between us and the door. 49 00:02:06,781.36988932 --> 00:02:07,961.36984432 PD finally rushes in. 50 00:02:07,961.36984432 --> 00:02:08,451.36985385 Drops him. 51 00:02:08,451.36985385 --> 00:02:09,331.36996829 Cuffs flying. 52 00:02:09,690.64389796 --> 00:02:12,220.64395876 And right in the middle of that chaos the sister collapses. 53 00:02:12,280.64390154 --> 00:02:13,110.64382524 Full-blown seizure. 54 00:02:13,462.27688842 --> 00:02:14,112.27689438 No ALS. 55 00:02:14,142.27686577 --> 00:02:14,732.27683955 Just us. 56 00:02:14,997.6738923 --> 00:02:19,437.67412088 We do what we can airway, recovery position, begging dispatch to hurry ALS. 57 00:02:19,757.6738157 --> 00:02:20,717.67385385 She stabilizes. 58 00:02:21,157.67391107 --> 00:02:21,647.67368219 For a minute. 59 00:02:22,100.09988842 --> 00:02:23,330.09987769 And after all that? The machete. 60 00:02:23,470.09986339 --> 00:02:23,990.09984432 The seizure. 61 00:02:23,990.09984432 --> 00:02:30,110.16785385 The stench that stuck in my uniform for days? What did management care about? That the times in my chart didn’t line up. 62 00:02:30,402.84389796 --> 00:02:32,322.84382524 That I missed a checkbox in the ePCR. 63 00:02:32,734.83888842 --> 00:02:34,844.83887293 That’s leadership forgetting where they came from. 64 00:02:35,82.593892 --> 00:02:35,802.59392061 Mid-afternoon. 65 00:02:35,802.59392061 --> 00:02:37,652.59382524 Pager drops: “House fully involved.” 66 00:02:38,8.98889259 --> 00:02:40,468.98879663 We pull up smoke thick, greasy, and wrong. 67 00:02:40,748.98900644 --> 00:02:41,608.98890154 Not just wood burning. 68 00:02:41,728.98878709 --> 00:02:42,368.988892 Something worse. 69 00:02:42,699.41989259 --> 00:02:43,539.41991107 And then we see her. 70 00:02:43,860.41789259 --> 00:02:44,220.417892 Mom. 71 00:02:44,380.41791822 --> 00:02:45,50.41793491 Running out the door. 72 00:02:45,50.41793491 --> 00:02:46,20.41784432 Carrying two kids. 73 00:02:46,20.41784432 --> 00:02:47,230.41788246 Burns all over her arms. 74 00:02:47,545.6108914 --> 00:02:50,655.61092061 She drops them with fire and screams: “My baby’s still inside.” 75 00:02:50,972.16389349 --> 00:02:52,302.16383955 She fights to run back in. 76 00:02:52,392.16387293 --> 00:02:53,472.16379663 Fire tackles her down. 77 00:02:53,472.16379663 --> 00:02:55,192.16406366 She’s screaming, “LET ME BURN WITH HIM.” 78 00:02:55,619.71489796 --> 00:02:56,549.71493491 We get her into the rig. 79 00:02:56,769.71484432 --> 00:02:58,369.71498737 Skin peeling off like wet tissue. 80 00:02:58,679.71493015 --> 00:03:01,349.71500644 She’s not screaming from pain only from losing her son. 81 00:03:01,553.342892 --> 00:03:03,703.34298737 Later, when the flames are out, we help recover him. 82 00:03:04,133.3428157 --> 00:03:07,573.34287293 He’s under an armoire, claw marks on the drawer where he tried to escape. 83 00:03:07,822.730892 --> 00:03:08,952.73088723 That moment broke me. 84 00:03:09,319.48789796 --> 00:03:11,769.48779663 And yet, the post-incident review wasn’t about her pain. 85 00:03:12,162.32188842 --> 00:03:13,882.32188723 It was about response times and forms. 86 00:03:14,252.11788842 --> 00:03:16,42.11793968 That’s leadership forgetting where they came from. 87 00:03:16,424.79389796 --> 00:03:17,764.79390154 But not all leadership fails. 88 00:03:18,23.07089133 --> 00:03:19,933.07094922 Offshore, I found a crewmember dead in his room. 89 00:03:20,63.07082524 --> 00:03:20,833.07080617 Belt in the ceiling. 90 00:03:20,863.07077756 --> 00:03:21,633.0709969 Chair kicked out. 91 00:03:22,34.02289259 --> 00:03:23,644.022892 I thought I’d carry that weight alone. 92 00:03:24,30.93889259 --> 00:03:25,90.93893968 But then the calls started. 93 00:03:25,470.93893491 --> 00:03:26,900.93888246 Supervisors back on land. 94 00:03:27,50.93897783 --> 00:03:28,40.93898737 My topside doc. 95 00:03:28,480.93904459 --> 00:03:30,290.93898737 Managers I’d barely spoken to before. 96 00:03:30,645.40588842 --> 00:03:31,115.40588723 Not once. 97 00:03:31,145.40591822 --> 00:03:31,745.40588246 Over and over. 98 00:03:32,121.48289796 --> 00:03:33,1.48286339 Random phone calls. 99 00:03:33,1.48286339 --> 00:03:33,661.48294922 Video chats. 100 00:03:33,661.48294922 --> 00:03:34,231.48288246 Not to audit. 101 00:03:34,231.48288246 --> 00:03:34,941.48292061 Not to scold. 102 00:03:35,321.48279663 --> 00:03:36,641.48296829 Just to ask if I was okay. 103 00:03:36,977.67288723 --> 00:03:39,27.67295876 Hundreds of miles from shore, those calls mattered. 104 00:03:39,387.67285385 --> 00:03:40,907.67283478 Reminded me I wasn’t alone. 105 00:03:41,280.14488842 --> 00:03:43,820.14493968 And weeks later, when I finally got off hitch, they asked me to meet up. 106 00:03:43,890.14487293 --> 00:03:44,620.144892 We went to lunch. 107 00:03:44,650.14486339 --> 00:03:45,490.14477756 Not as a company. 108 00:03:45,490.14477756 --> 00:03:46,680.14483478 Not as a checkbox meeting. 109 00:03:46,980.14502551 --> 00:03:48,410.14485385 Just humans who gave a damn. 110 00:03:48,686.96989557 --> 00:03:50,966.96977756 It was the first time I’d met my topside doc in person. 111 00:03:51,276.96995876 --> 00:03:52,106.96988246 Hell of a doctor. 112 00:03:52,246.96998737 --> 00:03:52,916.97006366 Great mentor. 113 00:03:53,136.96985385 --> 00:03:54,666.97006366 My manager and supervisor came too. 114 00:03:55,152.79788663 --> 00:03:57,332.79796829 I’ll be honest I thought I was in trouble. 115 00:03:57,382.79792061 --> 00:03:58,862.79793968 Thought I’d screwed something up. 116 00:03:59,165.94988932 --> 00:03:59,525.94988127 But no. 117 00:03:59,855.94989438 --> 00:04:04,862.14088961 They just wanted to look me in the eye and say: “How are you holding up? Do you need anything?” That’s leadership. 118 00:04:05,82.14085862 --> 00:04:07,422.140892 The kind that doesn’t show up in binders or PowerPoints. 119 00:04:07,452.14086339 --> 00:04:08,912.14066312 Just people showing up for people. 120 00:04:09,329.85088842 --> 00:04:13,209.85085385 And then there was the night tones dropped 54-year-old male, possible overdose. 121 00:04:13,499.8508157 --> 00:04:14,529.85102551 Address was my dad’s. 122 00:04:14,949.07988842 --> 00:04:15,539.079892 I froze. 123 00:04:15,539.079892 --> 00:04:16,329.07985385 My partner didn’t. 124 00:04:16,683.79688723 --> 00:04:18,543.79690154 He grabbed the radio: “We’re going secondary.” 125 00:04:18,942.91288842 --> 00:04:20,692.91285862 And then he told me: “You ride passenger. 126 00:04:20,742.91293015 --> 00:04:21,382.91279663 I’ll handle this.” 127 00:04:21,812.18689796 --> 00:04:23,252.18692538 He made the drive in fifteen minutes. 128 00:04:23,402.18690154 --> 00:04:24,372.18693015 Should’ve been forty-five. 129 00:04:24,727.90089259 --> 00:04:25,937.90091584 Lights, sirens, chaos. 130 00:04:26,216.85789274 --> 00:04:26,766.85791584 We pull up. 131 00:04:26,766.85791584 --> 00:04:28,636.85792061 My dad’s in cardiac arrest on the porch. 132 00:04:28,666.857892 --> 00:04:29,386.85792061 Mom screaming. 133 00:04:29,676.85788246 --> 00:04:30,806.85775848 Friend doing CPR. 134 00:04:31,183.04789259 --> 00:04:32,283.04790154 My partner doesn’t flinch. 135 00:04:32,689.12488842 --> 00:04:34,649.12477756 And here’s the thing he’s not just another medic. 136 00:04:34,897.559892 --> 00:04:36,397.559892 He’s an FTO at our service. 137 00:04:36,497.55991584 --> 00:04:36,937.55985385 A trainer. 138 00:04:36,967.55982524 --> 00:04:38,667.55987293 Someone who’s supposed to represent leadership. 139 00:04:39,41.39189796 --> 00:04:39,971.39193491 And that night, he did. 140 00:04:40,368.14888723 --> 00:04:42,728.14890154 He ran compressions, dropped Narcan, called fire. 141 00:04:42,728.14890154 --> 00:04:45,576.90184908 Then looked at me and said: “You can help if it won’t break you.” 142 00:04:46,249.57788842 --> 00:04:47,169.57793491 We worked him together. 143 00:04:47,249.57785862 --> 00:04:47,969.57788723 And we got him back. 144 00:04:48,422.25389796 --> 00:04:50,932.25397783 When our field supervisor rolled up, he didn’t bring a clipboard. 145 00:04:51,42.25387293 --> 00:04:52,172.25398737 Didn’t ask for policy. 146 00:04:52,591.84589259 --> 00:04:55,912.4809063 He looked at me, looked at my family, and just said: “Go be with them. 147 00:04:56,122.48094445 --> 00:04:56,822.48087293 We’ve got this.” 148 00:04:57,145.83689274 --> 00:04:59,575.83691107 And the land-side supervisor? He backed it. 149 00:05:00,65.83692061 --> 00:05:00,995.83698737 No second-guessing. 150 00:05:01,195.83679663 --> 00:05:02,205.83702551 No micromanaging. 151 00:05:02,575.83691107 --> 00:05:06,995.83651053 Just full support for my partner’s decision to let me step out and be a son, not just a medic. 152 00:05:07,249.73689133 --> 00:05:12,593.93182524 That night, I saw three versions of leadership: My partner an FTO who chose to lead with humanity. 153 00:05:12,932.52589259 --> 00:05:15,612.52582524 My field supervisor, who kept it human instead of robotic. 154 00:05:15,971.11988842 --> 00:05:19,171.11978709 And the land-side supervisor, who trusted their judgment and backed the call. 155 00:05:19,556.99289379 --> 00:05:21,166.99286339 That’s what leadership’s supposed to look like. 156 00:05:21,437.46889349 --> 00:05:23,954.90685862 So here’s the truth: Clipboards don’t save lives. 157 00:05:24,280.3038914 --> 00:05:25,550.30388723 Policies don’t stop burnout. 158 00:05:25,889.26089259 --> 00:05:28,329.2608157 Checklists don’t talk suicidal patients off the ledge. 159 00:05:28,665.65588723 --> 00:05:29,315.65586339 People do. 160 00:05:29,670.89388842 --> 00:05:32,430.89396829 If you’re in leadership get out of the chair once in a while. 161 00:05:32,570.89383478 --> 00:05:33,250.89390154 Ride a shift. 162 00:05:33,350.89380617 --> 00:05:33,980.89368219 Run a call. 163 00:05:34,340.8938157 --> 00:05:39,490.89343424 Remember what it’s like to smell death, to feel adrenaline shake in your hands, to hear families scream. 164 00:05:39,824.11389274 --> 00:05:42,504.11391107 And if you can’t ride anymore? Pick up the damn phone. 165 00:05:42,684.11397783 --> 00:05:43,474.11393968 Call your crews. 166 00:05:43,514.11390154 --> 00:05:44,294.11387293 Meet them for lunch. 167 00:05:44,324.11408273 --> 00:05:44,804.11410181 Show up. 168 00:05:45,208.26389259 --> 00:05:46,788.26392061 Because when you do, it matters. 169 00:05:46,818.263892 --> 00:05:47,878.26383478 It keeps people here. 170 00:05:47,918.26379663 --> 00:05:49,8.26394922 It keeps people alive. 171 00:05:49,351.41589796 --> 00:05:51,181.41591107 And when you don’t? That silence kills. 172 00:05:51,504.09188932 --> 00:05:52,994.0919063 This is Dispatched Dysfunctional. 173 00:05:53,278.80888723 --> 00:05:55,788.8089969 Because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories. 174 00:05:56,178.08289796 --> 00:05:59,808.08286339 And sometimes the biggest failures don’t happen in the street they happen behind a desk. 175 00:06:00,105.47488723 --> 00:06:01,235.47488246 But the opposite is true too. 176 00:06:01,555.47493491 --> 00:06:08,675.47470126 The smallest gestures a phone call, a lunch invite, a supervisor choosing to be human instead of robotic those are the things that keep us standing. 177 00:06:08,955.4978914 --> 00:06:13,90.37293491 So if you’re behind a desk? Remember this: Leadership isn’t about being in charge. 178 00:06:13,453.72889796 --> 00:06:14,413.7289063 It’s about giving a damn. 179 00:06:18,800.48589796 --> 00:06:22,980.4858157 Need support right now? Text or call 988 or visit 9 8 8 lifeline dot org. 180 00:06:23,418.03689379 --> 00:06:25,978.03691107 You’re not alone not in this job, not in this fight. 181 00:06:26,406.63089259 --> 00:06:32,36.63087293 Want to share your story or connect? Visit critical dash run dot com or message the Facebook page Dispatched and Dysfunctional. 182 00:06:32,417.37888842 --> 00:06:34,837.3788157 We’re building this for you, for them, for all of us.
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