The Beauty and Burden of Being: A Stage Four Cancer Patient's Search for Meaning

“Please—all of you people out there—don’t wait until you’re dying to see the beauty in life.”

Becca was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer at 34, went into remission, and eleven years later—when she thought she was in the clear—her cancer returned as stage four metastatic disease. What followed was a journey through brutal treatment side effects, painful decisions about quality versus quantity of life, and a profound reckoning with faith, value, and what it means to live authentically while dying.

In this week’s episode, Becca shares her experience leaving evangelical Christianity after her first diagnosis, wrestling with what makes a life worth living when you’re sleeping 14-15 hours a day, and the reality that even within cancer communities, certain truths feel taboo to speak.

She talks about the irony of saying “I’ll never treat again” and then, when faced with recurrence, immediately asking “How do we treat this?”

Becca’s story is filled with hard-won wisdom about flexibility, authenticity, and the surprising peace that can come from facing uncertainty without the answers she once relied on.

Tune in to hear Cody and Becca explore:

• The gap between what we say we’ll do and what we actually do when facing terminal illness

• Leaving evangelical Christianity and finding peace in uncertainty as an atheist facing death

• Quality versus quantity of life: setting boundaries and taking treatment “vacations”

• Redefining personal value from “a human doing” to “a human being”

• The loneliness of dying and what’s taboo even in cancer communities

• How “life isn’t fair” can cut both ways

• Parenting through terminal illness and the legacy we leave in our children’s minds

• Patient autonomy: “This is our life. We get to call the shots.”

Note: This episode includes a content warning regarding discussion of suicidal ideation and self-harm during Becca's first cancer diagnosis.