20 | WHY THAT RELATIONSHIP FEELS OFF.

Why that relationship feels off, could be because it is trauma familiarity.

Here’s what I’ve learned about trauma: It doesn’t always show up as pain. Sometimes, it shows up as familiar. It teaches your nervous system, “This is what love feels like” — even if it’s unsafe. Even if it hurts.

But just because it feels familiar doesn’t mean it’s right.

 

Welcome to Emotional Healing for Christian Women.

Thank You! For listening.

Podcast Transcript is at the bottom of this page.

I’m Marvel C. Adeyemi⁠, a licensed Psychotherapist and Faith -Based Coach who supports Christian women.

 Imagine waking up without the weight of shame, fear, and loneliness. Imagine finally feeling worthy, confident, and at peace — and doing it with God by your side. That's the healing we begin together

Perhaps you’re struggling with low self-worth, rejection, persistent anxiety, spiritual confusion, neglect, abandonment, or feeling disconnected from your purpose… If you're afraid of repeating painful patterns in parenting or relationships… If your past still triggers you — please know that healing is possible.

Through biblical lens, I’ll help you rebuild self-worth, trust, peace and clarity — so you can feel empowered, beautiful, and confident.

WHAT NEXT?

✅ Download my ⁠free resources⁠ for guidance and healing from past wounds and  finding clarity and purpose.

✅ Order my new book, Beyond the Hurt. ⁠E-book ⁠ and ⁠Paper back⁠

📌Work with me 1:1: book a session: ⁠Book Here⁠

 ✅Please leave a comment/review, subscribe/follow and share.

✅ Join my private ⁠face book group ⁠

✅ Book a 1:1 Coaching Call if you’re ready to dive deeper into your healing journey. ⁠https://marveladeyemi.com.au/⁠

✅ Send me an⁠ email⁠

 📢Disclaimer: I share content from my reflections for educational purpose only and should not replace professional therapy. If you need immediate support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Transcript:

God Didn’t Send Him — Trauma Did

You were right all along… something felt off, didn’t it?

I thought he was an answer to prayer… but he was actually a reflection of my pain.

I convinced myself it was “God’s will,” but really — it was just familiar dysfunction wrapped in hope.

Have you ever spiritually justified someone who constantly triggered your anxiety, ignored your boundaries, or made you feel like you were asking for too much?

Let’s talk about it — honestly, gently, and without judgment.

Here’s what I’ve learned about trauma: It doesn’t always show up as pain. Sometimes, it shows up as familiar. It teaches your nervous system, “This is what love feels like” — even if it’s unsafe. Even if it hurts.

But just because it feels familiar doesn’t mean it’s right.

And can I just say this gently?

This was never about shame — it’s about clarity. Because when you finally name the pattern… you take the first step toward breaking it.

 

The truth is: not every relationship that feels intense is from God. Sometimes, it’s not divine alignment. Sometimes… it’s trauma reenactment.

I’ve heard this story so many times — from women who are smart, prayerful, and deeply faithful… Women who love God but find themselves entangled in painful relationships that mirror the rejection, chaos, or emotional abandonment they experienced growing up.

So when someone triggers your abandonment wound or treats you how your emotionally unavailable parent did… Your body might interpret that as chemistry — not danger.

Trauma doesn’t just make you tolerate red flags. It trains you to chase them.

Let me give you a real-life example from my practice (shared with permission, details changed for privacy):

A woman I worked with kept getting involved with men who were emotionally distant — but spiritual on the surface. One man would pray with her on Monday… then ghost her by Friday. She stayed, hoping he’d change. Why?

Because deep down, it wasn’t just about him. It was about a fathe