June 3, 2025 • 37 mins
In this episode, we discuss how villain obsession, cancel culture, and polarity-based narratives are keeping people trapped in false empowerment loops - often without even realizing it. We explore how the false 4D grid feeds off judgment, blame, and binary thinking, and how it uses storytelling and thought forms to hijack our clarity. From the collective “hate men” movement to viral social media takedowns, we look at how projection disguises itself as truth and why nervous system regulation is the key to discernment. We also unpack the difference between struggle and initiation, black hole vs. white hole spirituality, and how real liberation begins when we stop feeding distortion and start living in our own tone.
[Bridge → White Hole Transitional Episode]
. . .
Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice. The views expressed in this podcast may not be those of the host or the management. This podcast is for fun and entertainment purposes only.
Copyright: 2025 by Femme and Flow, LLC.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, this is Kylee with Femme and Flow.
I hope everyone's having a great day.
Today I wanna talk aboutsomething I think is keeping so
many people stuck in distortionloops without even realizing it.
There's a strange obsession rightnow with villains, with blaming,
with hating men, with cancel culture,with making someone else the reason
(00:24):
we feel stuck, wronged, or unworthy.
There's this almost unconsciouscompulsion to find the flaw, spot
the enemy, and assign the blame.
But what if that instinct, the one that'salways looking for someone to blame, is
actually keeping us trapped in the verydistortion we say we want to escape?
(00:48):
Because here's the deeper truth- that distortion is not accidental.
It's part of the design of thefalse fourth dimensional Archonic
grid, a frequency trap builtto keep us looping in polarity.
The grid thrives on judgment,projection, and moral righteousness.
(01:09):
It feeds off the energy generatedwhen we're constantly identifying
enemies and staying in opposition.
And one of the key tools it uses toreinforce this loop is storytelling.
When we're conditioned to think inblack and white or binary terms,
we become easier to control.
(01:30):
Because nuance requiresself-responsibility, but binaries,
binaries make us predictable,reactive, and easy to manipulate.
They shut down inquiry.
They cause us to cling to identitiesand roles rather than evolve.
They train us to collapse entirepeople into one action, one
(01:53):
opinion, one perceived flaw.
If someone does one thing we don'tagree with, we're conditioned to write
them off entirely as if nuance, growth,and multidimensionality don't exist.
And that's exactly what the falsegrid feeds on - predictable loops of
blame, guilt, and moral superiority.
(02:17):
Movie, shows, and media often programus to expect clear heroes and villains.
We're trained to feel uncomfortable withnuance, to crave resolution through blame.
We've been fed thousands ofnarratives where someone must be
wrong so someone else can be right.
And when life doesn't mirror thatsimplicity, we get dysregulated.
(02:42):
So instead of sitting indiscomfort or complexity, we go
searching for the familiar script.
Who can I blame?
Who's the bad guy here?
And this is where thought forms come in.
The false grid doesn't justinfluence us through systems, it
programs us through narratives.
(03:02):
It plants sticky, ready-made thought formsinto the collective field - ideas like
men are the problem, wealth is evil, ifsomeone hurt you, they're the villain.
These aren't just opinions, they'reenergetic structures - memes
in the original sense - thatcarry a frequency of polarity.
(03:26):
And because they're familiar, they'reeasy to grab onto when we're dysregulated.
They give us something to project onto.
They give our nervous systemsomething to do instead of feel.
They create the illusion ofclarity, but really they trap
us in a cycle of reactivity.
(03:47):
And this is the trap - when wedefault to thought forms, we
stop thinking for ourselves.
We stop asking deeper questions.
We unconsciously feed the verydistortion we're trying to escape.
Because thought formsdon't thrive in clarity.
They thrive in chaos.
(04:07):
They latch onto unresolved pain,binary thinking, and moral superiority.
And they spread through the fieldlike wildfire when people are stuck in
survival mode, seeking something to blame.
And what makes this even more insidiousis that some of these low vibe thought
forms are repackaged as empowerment.
(04:31):
They wear the costume of liberation,but carry the frequency of control.
Messages like "you don't owe anyoneanything," "cut them off," "if they
trigger you, they're toxic," "real queensdon't need anyone," and "never trust a
man." On the surface, it sounds bold,maybe fierce, self-loving, but underneath
(04:59):
it's often rooted in unprocessedtrauma and fear of vulnerability.
It teaches people to isolateinstead of connect, to exile instead
of understand, and to confusedefensiveness with empowerment.
It's not that boundariesaren't sacred, they are.
(05:19):
But when empowerment becomes anotherexcuse to avoid intimacy, growth,
or reflection - it's not power, it'sprotection mascarading as power.
And the false grid loves that kindof distortion because it keeps people
feeling righteous and still deeply alone.
(05:40):
So much of the low vibe discoursehappening right now isn't just
people speaking their truth.
It's people unknowingly channelingcollective thought forms that
were seeded into the field.
And like I just said, some of thislow vibe discourse is repackaged
as empowering, but it's meant tosubtly manipulate and control.
(06:03):
But here's the key.
When you begin to regulate yournervous system, when you step
into the role of the observer, youstart to notice something stunning.
"That's not my thought. That's noteven my energy. That's just a program
I picked up from the collective."And in that moment, the spell breaks.
(06:27):
You stop reacting, you stop projecting,and you stop feeding the thought
form and it begins to dissolve.
Because thought formsonly live if we feed them.
Like Archons, they have nocreative power of their own.
They're parasitic frequencies dependenton our connection to source to give
(06:49):
them shape, emotion, and momentum.
They rely on us, the creators, togenerate energy around their idea so
it can be made manifest in reality.
And that's the twist.
They can't exist without us.
So when you unplug your attention,stabilize in your field, and
(07:12):
choose discernment over reaction,you reclaim your sovereignty.
You become unavailable for hijack.
You become unfed terrain fordistortion, and in that moment
you become undeniably free.
So before you collapse into ahot take, a trending opinion,
(07:33):
or a reflexive judgment, pause.
Regulate and ask, "whos' thought isthis really?" That question alone
might be the start of your liberation.
And maybe the clearest sign that you'vestepped out of the false matrix is
(07:53):
that it all becomes so obvious - notfrom superiority, but from sovereignty.
Once your nervous system is no longerhijacked by survival mode, once your mind
isn't operating from a threat response,you stop resonating with distortion.
You don't have to thinkyour way through it.
(08:15):
You just feel that something is off.
You see the thought forms.
You hear the polarity in conversations.
You notice how many peopleare chasing empowerment that's
really just rebranded fear.
Your nervous system is nolonger constantly scanning for
threat, it's scanning for truth.
(08:37):
You are anchored in your own tone insteadof being pulled into collective chaos.
And peace, peace stops feeling likea privilege reserved for the healed.
It starts feeling like home, anatural state, a default, the
space you make decisions from,not the reward you get at the end.
(08:59):
This is the gift of true nervous systemhealing and stepping out of the system.
Clarity becomes your baseline,discernment becomes effortless, and
what used to seduce you into looping,you now see through instantly.
So I mentioned that once you heal yournervous system and step out of the
(09:21):
false grid, that things become obvious.
So here are some examples of thingsthat become obvious that weren't before:
that much of what's called empowermentis just reaction wrapped in aesthetic.
What's marketed as healing issometimes looping in disguise.
(09:45):
Viral discourse is often just thought formrecycling - same polarity, new packaging.
You don't need to fight to feel valid.
Peace isn't boring, it's clarity.
Discernment feels different than judgment.
(10:05):
Boundaries rooted in fear, feel brittle.
Boundaries rooted incoherence, feel clean.
So now let's circle backand add perspective.
Because I wanna offer you a soft buthonest reminder, and this is good for
us all to realize and remember - you maybe the villain in someone else's story.
(10:32):
And they're not wrong.
That's just their perspective.
Everyone is living through their own lens,their own trauma, their own unmet needs.
And in this black hole reality,we've been trained to locate
villains instead of hold nuance.
We exile instead of inquire,and we glorify the struggle
(10:54):
and call it spiritual.
And here's the truth - we've alldone things we're not proud of.
We've done things we might notwant others to remember us for.
But if we stop and reflect on whywe did those things, there's almost
always something deeper underneath- fear, confusion, survival, a need
(11:17):
to belong, a trauma response wedidn't know how to name at the time.
We're actually really good atjustifying our own behavior
because we know what led to it.
We know our context.
We understand our pain.
But we often don't extend thatsame compassion to others.
(11:38):
We don't pause and ask "what might theyhave been going through that I can't see?"
Instead, we collapse someone'scharacter into one moment, one
mistake, one shadow - without thesame nuance we'd want for ourselves.
This doesn't mean we excuse harm.
It doesn't mean we abandon boundaries.
(12:01):
But it does mean we holdspace for complexity.
It means we stop turning peopleinto villains just because
we're hurt or uncomfortable.
We can honor the woundand still hold compassion.
We can have boundaries and grace.
We can say "that wasn't okay"without needing to exile
(12:23):
someone's entire humanity.
And that's the deeper spiritual work.
Not deciding who's right orwrong, but choosing to be someone
who sees beyond the binary.
And we also need to start letting go ofthe narrative that people can't change.
People can change if they truly want to.
(12:46):
If they're willing to see themselvesclearly, take accountability, and
do the work to shift their patterns.
No, we shouldn't abandon all boundariesor fall for empty apologies, but we
also shouldn't write someone off foreverbased solely on who they used to be.
Because I know I'm not the sameperson I was five or 10 years ago.
(13:10):
I'm not even the sameperson I was last year.
So why would I assume thatno one else can evolve?
To embody compassion is to extendthe possibility of transformation.
To say, "you don't have to stay whoyou were when you were hurting."
To believe that people are capableof healing just like you are.
(13:34):
We don't have to reconcile with everyone.
We don't have to let everyone back in.
But we can stop reducingpeople to their worst moment.
We can stop declaring thatgrowth is impossible just
because it hasn't happened yet.
When we hold space for transformation,not as a guarantee, but as a
(13:54):
possibility, we live in alignment withthe truth we are all still becoming.
And here's something else to discuss.
I mentioned it a littlebefore but didn't get into it.
Not all struggle is sacred.
We've been conditioned to believethat if something is hard, it
(14:15):
must be holy and worth pursuing.
That suffering is thesign we're doing the work.
That the more we cry, spiral, orpurge, the more evolved we are.
But that's black hole spirituality.
It is spirituality rooted in distortionwhere pain becomes identity, and
(14:36):
looping becomes a badge of honor.
And understanding the three paradigmlenses - black hole, bridge,
and white hole makes this clear.
In black hole consciousness,you think you're healing because
you're constantly in shadow work.
But reality, you're just reliving the samewound over and over and calling it depth.
(15:01):
In the bridge phase, youstart to notice the loop.
You still feel the pull to dig andpurge, but now you're aware of it.
You start asking, "is this actuallyhelping me or is this a performance
of healing I've been programmed into?"In white hole consciousness, you don't
(15:22):
need to struggle to feel spiritual.
You know you're allowed to feel good.
You let joy, peace, and clarityguide your evolution, not breakdowns.
And this doesn't mean webypass or ignore pain.
It means we stop worshiping it.
We stop equating emotionalintensity with enlightenment.
(15:43):
And we remember real spiritualmaturity is the ability to feel fully
without identifying with the pain.
To evolve without needing to suffer.
To spiral out, not deeper in.
And this is where we need to differentiatebetween struggle and initiation.
(16:04):
Initiation is a sacred archetype.
It's encoded in your soul's journey.
But it's not about endless suffering.
Initiation is purposeful.
It opens you to newdimensions of self-awareness.
It rearranges your inner architectureso you can hold more light,
more truth, more responsibility.
(16:27):
On Earth, it often feels intense,but it always moves you forward.
And the difference is this- struggle loops in on itself.
It keeps you spiraling inthe same emotion, the same
identity, the same pain story.
It asks, "why is this happening to meagain?" Initiation expands outward.
(16:52):
It initiates you into anew frequency of being.
It asks, "what am I ready to embodynow?" "What am I ready to embody
now that I've moved through this?"In black hole spirituality, pain is
idolized and becomes proof of worth.
But in true initiation, especiallythrough the white hole lens,
(17:16):
pain is a passage, not a prison.
You're not meant to build a housethere, you're meant to walk through
the threshold and emerge transformed.
So we don't need to fear intensity,but we also don't need to call every
emotional spiral a spiritual one.
When we recognize initiationfor what it is, we meet it
(17:39):
with reverence, not attachment.
And we stop glorifying the strugglethat was never meant to define us.
And when we let go of the need to struggleto feel worthy, we also start letting
go of the need to blame to feel safe.
Because those two patterns are woven fromthe same thread - black hole conditioning.
(18:04):
They keep us locked in identity roles,always trying to prove something,
or protect something instead ofsimply observing what's true.
And that's why so many of us, evenin spiritual spaces, still fall into
blame, projection, and villain huntingbecause we haven't yet realized that
(18:24):
intensity is not the same as truthand blame is not the same as clarity.
I see this happening everywhereright now, especially online.
The moment someone's story doesn'talign with ours, we label them as
the problem, the narcissist, themanipulator, the toxic masculine,
(18:47):
the spiritually bypassing feminine.
And sometimes yes, there are distortions,but the deeper distortion is this belief
that someone must always be to blame.
This is black hole consciousness.
It's where duality thrives.
It is where we get stuck in the goodversus bad binary, always looking for
(19:10):
the bad guy so we can feel good again.
But in the bridge phase, westart to notice the game.
We pause and ask, "am I projecting rightnow? Am I latching onto a role because
it makes me feel more in control?"
This came up recently for me as Iwas watching the show "Sirens." I
(19:33):
did a separate TikTok just aboutthe show, but it really made me
think about this bigger picture.
But online, so many people wereobsessed with figuring out who
the villain of that show was.
Was it the husband?
Was it Mikayla?
Who was right?
Who was wrong?
(19:53):
But what if no one was the villain?
What if everyone was just layered,complex, wounded, and surviving?
What if the point of the showwasn't to pick a side, but to
notice our own projections?
And let's pause here for a secondbecause I want to really be clear
(20:14):
about what I mean when I say projectionor that something is a mirror.
Projection happens when we takesomething unresolved or unhealed within
ourselves and instead of facing it,we see it "out there" in someone else.
It's not always conscious.
It often shows up as beingdisproportionately reactive to something
(20:38):
or someone because it hits an old wound.
For example, if someone is extremelytriggered by cheating, it may be
because they've been cheated on inthe past, or they watched a parent
cheat, or they themselves carry guiltor shame around emotional betrayal.
(20:59):
That wound hasn't been fully processed,so when something happens that
resembles it, their system flares up.
And instead of just feeling theemotion, they project - that person
is the villain, that person isdangerous, that person is wrong.
But it's not just about cheating.
(21:20):
I used that as an example becauseI saw something on social media and
it brought a lot of discourse aboutnever trusting men and yada yada.
This can be almost anything.
If someone is constantly annoyed bypeople who are too confident or too
full of themselves, they may actually bedisconnected from their own confidence.
(21:45):
That person's self-expression becomesa mirror reflecting back what they've
suppressed or judged within themselves.
If you're deeply triggered by someonebeing lazy, it might be a mirror showing
you your own disowned desire to rest.
If someone being loud and expressiveirritates you, it might be because you're
(22:09):
inner child was shamed for being loud,and now you exile that part in others too.
Mirrors aren't always pleasant,but they're always instructive.
They help us see where we stillcarry pain, where we still judge, and
where we're still seeking control.
(22:30):
So when we talk about shows like"Sirens" being a mirror, it's
not just poetic, it's literal.
The show reflects our projections.
What we see, what we clinging to, whatwe villainize - it all says more about
us than it does about the characters.
That's the gift and thediscomfort of the mirror.
(22:55):
But here's where it gets empowering.
We can actually use our ownprojections and triggers to heal.
Every time we feel that sharp joltof reactivity, whether it's judgment,
disgust, fear, or rage - that'snot just discomfort, it's a signal.
(23:16):
It's a little flag rising that says"there's something deeper here,
something I haven't yet explored."Instead of spiraling into blame
or retreat, we can pause and ask,"what is this really about for me?
What old wound or unmet need is beingstirred right now?" This kind of awareness
(23:39):
doesn't mean we suppress our feelings.
It means we get curious about them.
We let them guide us inwardinstead of projecting them outward.
And just as we're learning to extendthis nuance and compassion to others,
we also need to remember it whennegativity is directed toward us.
(24:00):
When someone lashes out, judgesyou, misunderstands you, or assigns
you a role in their story thatdoesn't feel true - just remember,
it's probably not about you at all.
Most of the time it's a projection,an old wound being activated,
a thought form they've pickedup and attached to your face.
(24:24):
A frequency mismatch that feelslike threat when really it's
just unfamiliar resonance.
You don't have to take it personally,you don't have to fix it, and you
definitely don't have to shrinkyourself in response to it.
Instead, you can pause, ground, andremember - this is not mine to carry.
(24:47):
That's how we stay sovereign in theface of distortion - not by fighting,
but by refusing to participate.
When it comes to all of these negativeor confusing feelings that can arise
when someone unconsciously projects ontoothers or latches onto thought forms - for
many people, the truth is they don'teven know what they're supposed to feel.
(25:13):
They've been operating in fightor flight for so long, that
neutrality or peace feels foreign.
That's where nervoussystem regulation comes in.
When our system is dysregulated,everything feels like a threat.
But when we begin to co-regulatewith safety, whether through breath,
(25:34):
somatic presence, or gentle inquiry,we create space for clarity.
And it's important to name thistoo - the false matrix is designed
to keep us in fight or flight.
It thrives on chronic stress,urgency, fear, and pressure.
(25:54):
It keeps people in survival modeso they're easier to control,
easier to manipulate, and tooexhausted to ask deeper questions.
It keeps the nervous system overstimulatedthrough nonstop media, digital noise, fear
cycles, and performance driven culture.
(26:15):
It glorifies busyness and burnout.
It equates rest with laziness.
It distorts our internal compassso we mistake anxiety for
ambition and numbness for peace.
When you're in survival mode,your body isn't concerned
with truth, nuance, or growth.
(26:36):
It's only concerned withgetting through the next moment.
And when that becomes the norm, welose access to our higher intelligence,
our intuition, our ability to discernand our capacity for compassion.
This is why nervous systemregulation isn't just a wellness
practice, it's a form of liberation.
(27:00):
When we regulate, we reclaim the abilityto feel clearly, choose consciously,
and actually respond instead of react.
And that's when theprojections began to dissolve.
The truth is the false matrix systemis set up to keep us in survival mode.
(27:20):
It's not just theory, it's design.
They want us working nine to fivejobs, exhausted, compliant, and too
depleted to question the system.
They want us chronically worried aboutlosing healthcare, affording rent,
or keeping up with the endless grind.
Because when we're in survivalmode, we're easier to manipulate.
(27:44):
We stay in fear.
We don't have space to dream, regulate,or remember who we really are.
But I've talked before abouthow we escape this trap, and
it's by exploiting the paradox.
The matrix wants us to believe thatthe only way to be safe is to stay in
(28:06):
the very systems that are draining us.
But the moment we regulate ournervous systems, everything changes.
We access a different level of perception.
One where we're no longer boundby fear, but guided by resonance.
So let's go back to whatI've shared in past episodes.
(28:28):
Our emotions carry unique frequencies.
And those emotional frequenciesdon't just stay in our bodies.
They radiate outward.
They're how we create our reality.
When our nervous systems aredysregulated, we are constantly reacting.
We are triggered, we spiral, we sendout low frequency waves like hate,
(28:54):
shame, fear, and those waves go intothe quantum field, which is full of
endless strings of vibrating energy.
And because like attracts like,those waves collapse into particles
that match their frequency.
That's what gets pulled backinto our field through the
(29:14):
toroidal flow of our energy body.
So if you're constantlyreacting, constantly angry,
constantly blaming, guess what?
You're attracting more of that energy- not as punishment, but as feedback.
But with a regulated nervoussystem, you become the observer.
(29:39):
Thoughts no longerimmediately equal emotion.
You can witness a thought, holdspace for it, and choose your
frequency - and that changes everything.
This is how we exit survival.
This is how we collapse the false matrix.
Not by fighting it, butby exploiting the paradox.
(30:01):
By realizing we don'thave to play by its rules.
By choosing regulation, emotionalsovereignty, and quantum awareness.
That's how we become free.
And the first step is understandingthe actual quantum physics behind all
of this so it's not just some abstractspiritual concept, but a grounded reality.
(30:25):
When we talk about creatingour own reality, we're not
talking about wishful thinking.
We're talking about quantum law.
We're talking about how vibrationalfrequency influences wave collapse and
how the energy we emit literally sculptsthe architecture of our lived experience.
(30:46):
From there, we heal the nervous systembecause a dysregulated body cannot
hold higher frequencies consistently.
And then we do the inner work, thereal work, the often uncomfortable
work of becoming radicallyself-aware and honest with ourselves.
"Where am I still clear?
(31:07):
Where am I still carrying blame?
Where am I still outsourcing power?
What am I refusing to feel?" We startnoticing the loops, the projections,
the contradictions, and we lovingly,steadily begin to release because
we can't fake our frequency.
(31:28):
And we can't bypass the work, butwe can meet it with grace and let
it carry us into a new timeline.
And I mentioned that we need to haveradical self-awareness, but self-awareness
doesn't always have to be radical andit definitely shouldn't be performative.
(31:49):
It can be soft, gentle - a quiet noticing.
"Why did that bother me? What partof me flinched? What part of me
wants to be seen right now?" Thisis how we use mirrors consciously.
This is how we stop outsourcing ourpower to projections and start reclaiming
(32:09):
the parts of us that have been exiled.
It's not about being perfect, it'sabout being honest and willing to
see what's underneath the surface.
That's white hole consciousness.
It doesn't need to win the narrative.
It doesn't need to be right.
It just watches.
It sees the energy, it holds the nuance.
(32:32):
It notices the trauma, and then itasks, "which frequency do I want to
live from now?" And when you reach whitehole frequency, you stop trying to win.
You stop glorifying the struggle.
You stop blaming men, blaming women,blaming the world, and you realize
(32:52):
there's no villain, only mirrors.
The distortion also becomes obvious.
You see through the thought formsthat were planted to keep people
looping in the system of control.
And that's where the spiral finally ends.
Not with a plot twist, but with peace.
And from that peace, we can beginto see clearly even in the spaces
(33:17):
where collective emotion is intense.
Take the current wave of hating menor down with the patriarchy discourse
- there's so much unprocessed trauma there.
And it's understandable.
Many women have been deeply hurt,silenced, abused, or ignored
within patriarchal structures,but we need to add nuance here.
(33:41):
The patriarchy wasn't createdby men as a collective gender.
It was engineered intentionallyby the dark global elite as
part of a broader control grid.
A system that distorts bothmasculine and feminine energy.
Yes, men have enacted harm under thatsystem, but they've also been deeply
(34:04):
harmed by it - disconnected fromemotion, pushed into provider roles,
shamed out of sensitivity, blamedfor a system they didn't create.
If we can understand that wecan begin to release the blame.
We can stop projecting onto menwhat was never theirs to hold alone.
(34:28):
And we can stop confusingpower with oppression.
And to flip the mirror, thinkabout the way society talks
about women, especially online.
There's a constant policing offemininity - too loud, too sexy,
too much, too shallow, too soft.
Women are told to speakup, but not too much.
(34:51):
Be visible, but not too visible.
It's a no-win game.
And we see this same binary logicrepeated again and again and again.
We see it everywhere.
It feels like no matterwhat you do, you cannot win.
And another place I've been seeingthis recently online is this logic
(35:15):
getting applied to influencers.
People love to hate them.
People say they're performative,shallow, materialistic.
But here's the other side of the story.
Many influencers are carvingout paths of creative freedom.
They're doing what they love.
They're working from home,building communities, sharing
(35:38):
what they're passionate aboutand making real money doing it.
Isn't that what we all say we want?
Why is it more respectable to workfor a corporation selling someone
else's vision than to market for abrand you love, on your own terms?
Why is the office grind noble,but online influence is shameful?
(36:01):
Again, it's the same distortion, thesame binary, the same projections.
And like I said, I used those as examplesbecause I've been seeing that hate and
negativity around those a lot recently.
But seriously, in a polarizedsystem, no one can win.
(36:22):
Everyone becomes a target.
But when we drop out of the blameloops, we start to see people as
people - complex, flawed, expressive,layered - and we stop exiling the very
freedoms we say we want for ourselves.
So as we move forward,can we hold more nuance?
(36:45):
Can we pause beforelabeling someone a villain?
Can we look at the thoughtforms we're participating in?
Can we stay curious instead of reactive?
That's how we stop feedingdistortion and start living in truth.
So that's all I have for today.
I hope you like this episode.
(37:06):
I love you all and have a great day.
Hello, this is Kylee with Femme and Flow.
I hope everyone's having a great day.
Today I wanna talk aboutsomething I think is keeping so
many people stuck in distortionloops without even realizing it.
There's a strange obsession rightnow with villains, with blaming,
with hating men, with cancel culture,with making someone else the reason
(00:24):
we feel stuck, wronged, or unworthy.
There's this almost unconsciouscompulsion to find the flaw, spot
the enemy, and assign the blame.
But what if that instinct, the one that'salways looking for someone to blame, is
actually keeping us trapped in the verydistortion we say we want to escape?
(00:48):
Because here's the deeper truth- that distortion is not accidental.
It's part of the design of thefalse fourth dimensional Archonic
grid, a frequency trap builtto keep us looping in polarity.
The grid thrives on judgment,projection, and moral righteousness.
(01:09):
It feeds off the energy generatedwhen we're constantly identifying
enemies and staying in opposition.
And one of the key tools it uses toreinforce this loop is storytelling.
When we're conditioned to think inblack and white or binary terms,
we become easier to control.
(01:30):
Because nuance requiresself-responsibility, but binaries,
binaries make us predictable,reactive, and easy to manipulate.
They shut down inquiry.
They cause us to cling to identitiesand roles rather than evolve.
They train us to collapse entirepeople into one action, one
(01:53):
opinion, one perceived flaw.
If someone does one thing we don'tagree with, we're conditioned to write
them off entirely as if nuance, growth,and multidimensionality don't exist.
And that's exactly what the falsegrid feeds on - predictable loops of
blame, guilt, and moral superiority.
(02:17):
Movie, shows, and media often programus to expect clear heroes and villains.
We're trained to feel uncomfortable withnuance, to crave resolution through blame.
We've been fed thousands ofnarratives where someone must be
wrong so someone else can be right.
And when life doesn't mirror thatsimplicity, we get dysregulated.
(02:42):
So instead of sitting indiscomfort or complexity, we go
searching for the familiar script.
Who can I blame?
Who's the bad guy here?
And this is where thought forms come in.
The false grid doesn't justinfluence us through systems, it
programs us through narratives.
(03:02):
It plants sticky, ready-made thought formsinto the collective field - ideas like
men are the problem, wealth is evil, ifsomeone hurt you, they're the villain.
These aren't just opinions, they'reenergetic structures - memes
in the original sense - thatcarry a frequency of polarity.
(03:26):
And because they're familiar, they'reeasy to grab onto when we're dysregulated.
They give us something to project onto.
They give our nervous systemsomething to do instead of feel.
They create the illusion ofclarity, but really they trap
us in a cycle of reactivity.
(03:47):
And this is the trap - when wedefault to thought forms, we
stop thinking for ourselves.
We stop asking deeper questions.
We unconsciously feed the verydistortion we're trying to escape.
Because thought formsdon't thrive in clarity.
They thrive in chaos.
(04:07):
They latch onto unresolved pain,binary thinking, and moral superiority.
And they spread through the fieldlike wildfire when people are stuck in
survival mode, seeking something to blame.
And what makes this even more insidiousis that some of these low vibe thought
forms are repackaged as empowerment.
(04:31):
They wear the costume of liberation,but carry the frequency of control.
Messages like "you don't owe anyoneanything," "cut them off," "if they
trigger you, they're toxic," "real queensdon't need anyone," and "never trust a
man." On the surface, it sounds bold,maybe fierce, self-loving, but underneath
(04:59):
it's often rooted in unprocessedtrauma and fear of vulnerability.
It teaches people to isolateinstead of connect, to exile instead
of understand, and to confusedefensiveness with empowerment.
It's not that boundariesaren't sacred, they are.
(05:19):
But when empowerment becomes anotherexcuse to avoid intimacy, growth,
or reflection - it's not power, it'sprotection mascarading as power.
And the false grid loves that kindof distortion because it keeps people
feeling righteous and still deeply alone.
(05:40):
So much of the low vibe discoursehappening right now isn't just
people speaking their truth.
It's people unknowingly channelingcollective thought forms that
were seeded into the field.
And like I just said, some of thislow vibe discourse is repackaged
as empowering, but it's meant tosubtly manipulate and control.
(06:03):
But here's the key.
When you begin to regulate yournervous system, when you step
into the role of the observer, youstart to notice something stunning.
"That's not my thought. That's noteven my energy. That's just a program
I picked up from the collective."And in that moment, the spell breaks.
(06:27):
You stop reacting, you stop projecting,and you stop feeding the thought
form and it begins to dissolve.
Because thought formsonly live if we feed them.
Like Archons, they have nocreative power of their own.
They're parasitic frequencies dependenton our connection to source to give
(06:49):
them shape, emotion, and momentum.
They rely on us, the creators, togenerate energy around their idea so
it can be made manifest in reality.
And that's the twist.
They can't exist without us.
So when you unplug your attention,stabilize in your field, and
(07:12):
choose discernment over reaction,you reclaim your sovereignty.
You become unavailable for hijack.
You become unfed terrain fordistortion, and in that moment
you become undeniably free.
So before you collapse into ahot take, a trending opinion,
(07:33):
or a reflexive judgment, pause.
Regulate and ask, "whos' thought isthis really?" That question alone
might be the start of your liberation.
And maybe the clearest sign that you'vestepped out of the false matrix is
(07:53):
that it all becomes so obvious - notfrom superiority, but from sovereignty.
Once your nervous system is no longerhijacked by survival mode, once your mind
isn't operating from a threat response,you stop resonating with distortion.
You don't have to thinkyour way through it.
(08:15):
You just feel that something is off.
You see the thought forms.
You hear the polarity in conversations.
You notice how many peopleare chasing empowerment that's
really just rebranded fear.
Your nervous system is nolonger constantly scanning for
threat, it's scanning for truth.
(08:37):
You are anchored in your own tone insteadof being pulled into collective chaos.
And peace, peace stops feeling likea privilege reserved for the healed.
It starts feeling like home, anatural state, a default, the
space you make decisions from,not the reward you get at the end.
(08:59):
This is the gift of true nervous systemhealing and stepping out of the system.
Clarity becomes your baseline,discernment becomes effortless, and
what used to seduce you into looping,you now see through instantly.
So I mentioned that once you heal yournervous system and step out of the
(09:21):
false grid, that things become obvious.
So here are some examples of thingsthat become obvious that weren't before:
that much of what's called empowermentis just reaction wrapped in aesthetic.
What's marketed as healing issometimes looping in disguise.
(09:45):
Viral discourse is often just thought formrecycling - same polarity, new packaging.
You don't need to fight to feel valid.
Peace isn't boring, it's clarity.
Discernment feels different than judgment.
(10:05):
Boundaries rooted in fear, feel brittle.
Boundaries rooted incoherence, feel clean.
So now let's circle backand add perspective.
Because I wanna offer you a soft buthonest reminder, and this is good for
us all to realize and remember - you maybe the villain in someone else's story.
(10:32):
And they're not wrong.
That's just their perspective.
Everyone is living through their own lens,their own trauma, their own unmet needs.
And in this black hole reality,we've been trained to locate
villains instead of hold nuance.
We exile instead of inquire,and we glorify the struggle
(10:54):
and call it spiritual.
And here's the truth - we've alldone things we're not proud of.
We've done things we might notwant others to remember us for.
But if we stop and reflect on whywe did those things, there's almost
always something deeper underneath- fear, confusion, survival, a need
(11:17):
to belong, a trauma response wedidn't know how to name at the time.
We're actually really good atjustifying our own behavior
because we know what led to it.
We know our context.
We understand our pain.
But we often don't extend thatsame compassion to others.
(11:38):
We don't pause and ask "what might theyhave been going through that I can't see?"
Instead, we collapse someone'scharacter into one moment, one
mistake, one shadow - without thesame nuance we'd want for ourselves.
This doesn't mean we excuse harm.
It doesn't mean we abandon boundaries.
(12:01):
But it does mean we holdspace for complexity.
It means we stop turning peopleinto villains just because
we're hurt or uncomfortable.
We can honor the woundand still hold compassion.
We can have boundaries and grace.
We can say "that wasn't okay"without needing to exile
(12:23):
someone's entire humanity.
And that's the deeper spiritual work.
Not deciding who's right orwrong, but choosing to be someone
who sees beyond the binary.
And we also need to start letting go ofthe narrative that people can't change.
People can change if they truly want to.
(12:46):
If they're willing to see themselvesclearly, take accountability, and
do the work to shift their patterns.
No, we shouldn't abandon all boundariesor fall for empty apologies, but we
also shouldn't write someone off foreverbased solely on who they used to be.
Because I know I'm not the sameperson I was five or 10 years ago.
(13:10):
I'm not even the sameperson I was last year.
So why would I assume thatno one else can evolve?
To embody compassion is to extendthe possibility of transformation.
To say, "you don't have to stay whoyou were when you were hurting."
To believe that people are capableof healing just like you are.
(13:34):
We don't have to reconcile with everyone.
We don't have to let everyone back in.
But we can stop reducingpeople to their worst moment.
We can stop declaring thatgrowth is impossible just
because it hasn't happened yet.
When we hold space for transformation,not as a guarantee, but as a
(13:54):
possibility, we live in alignment withthe truth we are all still becoming.
And here's something else to discuss.
I mentioned it a littlebefore but didn't get into it.
Not all struggle is sacred.
We've been conditioned to believethat if something is hard, it
(14:15):
must be holy and worth pursuing.
That suffering is thesign we're doing the work.
That the more we cry, spiral, orpurge, the more evolved we are.
But that's black hole spirituality.
It is spirituality rooted in distortionwhere pain becomes identity, and
(14:36):
looping becomes a badge of honor.
And understanding the three paradigmlenses - black hole, bridge,
and white hole makes this clear.
In black hole consciousness,you think you're healing because
you're constantly in shadow work.
But reality, you're just reliving the samewound over and over and calling it depth.
(15:01):
In the bridge phase, youstart to notice the loop.
You still feel the pull to dig andpurge, but now you're aware of it.
You start asking, "is this actuallyhelping me or is this a performance
of healing I've been programmed into?"In white hole consciousness, you don't
(15:22):
need to struggle to feel spiritual.
You know you're allowed to feel good.
You let joy, peace, and clarityguide your evolution, not breakdowns.
And this doesn't mean webypass or ignore pain.
It means we stop worshiping it.
We stop equating emotionalintensity with enlightenment.
(15:43):
And we remember real spiritualmaturity is the ability to feel fully
without identifying with the pain.
To evolve without needing to suffer.
To spiral out, not deeper in.
And this is where we need to differentiatebetween struggle and initiation.
(16:04):
Initiation is a sacred archetype.
It's encoded in your soul's journey.
But it's not about endless suffering.
Initiation is purposeful.
It opens you to newdimensions of self-awareness.
It rearranges your inner architectureso you can hold more light,
more truth, more responsibility.
(16:27):
On Earth, it often feels intense,but it always moves you forward.
And the difference is this- struggle loops in on itself.
It keeps you spiraling inthe same emotion, the same
identity, the same pain story.
It asks, "why is this happening to meagain?" Initiation expands outward.
(16:52):
It initiates you into anew frequency of being.
It asks, "what am I ready to embodynow?" "What am I ready to embody
now that I've moved through this?"In black hole spirituality, pain is
idolized and becomes proof of worth.
But in true initiation, especiallythrough the white hole lens,
(17:16):
pain is a passage, not a prison.
You're not meant to build a housethere, you're meant to walk through
the threshold and emerge transformed.
So we don't need to fear intensity,but we also don't need to call every
emotional spiral a spiritual one.
When we recognize initiationfor what it is, we meet it
(17:39):
with reverence, not attachment.
And we stop glorifying the strugglethat was never meant to define us.
And when we let go of the need to struggleto feel worthy, we also start letting
go of the need to blame to feel safe.
Because those two patterns are woven fromthe same thread - black hole conditioning.
(18:04):
They keep us locked in identity roles,always trying to prove something,
or protect something instead ofsimply observing what's true.
And that's why so many of us, evenin spiritual spaces, still fall into
blame, projection, and villain huntingbecause we haven't yet realized that
(18:24):
intensity is not the same as truthand blame is not the same as clarity.
I see this happening everywhereright now, especially online.
The moment someone's story doesn'talign with ours, we label them as
the problem, the narcissist, themanipulator, the toxic masculine,
(18:47):
the spiritually bypassing feminine.
And sometimes yes, there are distortions,but the deeper distortion is this belief
that someone must always be to blame.
This is black hole consciousness.
It's where duality thrives.
It is where we get stuck in the goodversus bad binary, always looking for
(19:10):
the bad guy so we can feel good again.
But in the bridge phase, westart to notice the game.
We pause and ask, "am I projecting rightnow? Am I latching onto a role because
it makes me feel more in control?"
This came up recently for me as Iwas watching the show "Sirens." I
(19:33):
did a separate TikTok just aboutthe show, but it really made me
think about this bigger picture.
But online, so many people wereobsessed with figuring out who
the villain of that show was.
Was it the husband?
Was it Mikayla?
Who was right?
Who was wrong?
(19:53):
But what if no one was the villain?
What if everyone was just layered,complex, wounded, and surviving?
What if the point of the showwasn't to pick a side, but to
notice our own projections?
And let's pause here for a secondbecause I want to really be clear
(20:14):
about what I mean when I say projectionor that something is a mirror.
Projection happens when we takesomething unresolved or unhealed within
ourselves and instead of facing it,we see it "out there" in someone else.
It's not always conscious.
It often shows up as beingdisproportionately reactive to something
(20:38):
or someone because it hits an old wound.
For example, if someone is extremelytriggered by cheating, it may be
because they've been cheated on inthe past, or they watched a parent
cheat, or they themselves carry guiltor shame around emotional betrayal.
(20:59):
That wound hasn't been fully processed,so when something happens that
resembles it, their system flares up.
And instead of just feeling theemotion, they project - that person
is the villain, that person isdangerous, that person is wrong.
But it's not just about cheating.
(21:20):
I used that as an example becauseI saw something on social media and
it brought a lot of discourse aboutnever trusting men and yada yada.
This can be almost anything.
If someone is constantly annoyed bypeople who are too confident or too
full of themselves, they may actually bedisconnected from their own confidence.
(21:45):
That person's self-expression becomesa mirror reflecting back what they've
suppressed or judged within themselves.
If you're deeply triggered by someonebeing lazy, it might be a mirror showing
you your own disowned desire to rest.
If someone being loud and expressiveirritates you, it might be because you're
(22:09):
inner child was shamed for being loud,and now you exile that part in others too.
Mirrors aren't always pleasant,but they're always instructive.
They help us see where we stillcarry pain, where we still judge, and
where we're still seeking control.
(22:30):
So when we talk about shows like"Sirens" being a mirror, it's
not just poetic, it's literal.
The show reflects our projections.
What we see, what we clinging to, whatwe villainize - it all says more about
us than it does about the characters.
That's the gift and thediscomfort of the mirror.
(22:55):
But here's where it gets empowering.
We can actually use our ownprojections and triggers to heal.
Every time we feel that sharp joltof reactivity, whether it's judgment,
disgust, fear, or rage - that'snot just discomfort, it's a signal.
(23:16):
It's a little flag rising that says"there's something deeper here,
something I haven't yet explored."Instead of spiraling into blame
or retreat, we can pause and ask,"what is this really about for me?
What old wound or unmet need is beingstirred right now?" This kind of awareness
(23:39):
doesn't mean we suppress our feelings.
It means we get curious about them.
We let them guide us inwardinstead of projecting them outward.
And just as we're learning to extendthis nuance and compassion to others,
we also need to remember it whennegativity is directed toward us.
(24:00):
When someone lashes out, judgesyou, misunderstands you, or assigns
you a role in their story thatdoesn't feel true - just remember,
it's probably not about you at all.
Most of the time it's a projection,an old wound being activated,
a thought form they've pickedup and attached to your face.
(24:24):
A frequency mismatch that feelslike threat when really it's
just unfamiliar resonance.
You don't have to take it personally,you don't have to fix it, and you
definitely don't have to shrinkyourself in response to it.
Instead, you can pause, ground, andremember - this is not mine to carry.
(24:47):
That's how we stay sovereign in theface of distortion - not by fighting,
but by refusing to participate.
When it comes to all of these negativeor confusing feelings that can arise
when someone unconsciously projects ontoothers or latches onto thought forms - for
many people, the truth is they don'teven know what they're supposed to feel.
(25:13):
They've been operating in fightor flight for so long, that
neutrality or peace feels foreign.
That's where nervoussystem regulation comes in.
When our system is dysregulated,everything feels like a threat.
But when we begin to co-regulatewith safety, whether through breath,
(25:34):
somatic presence, or gentle inquiry,we create space for clarity.
And it's important to name thistoo - the false matrix is designed
to keep us in fight or flight.
It thrives on chronic stress,urgency, fear, and pressure.
(25:54):
It keeps people in survival modeso they're easier to control,
easier to manipulate, and tooexhausted to ask deeper questions.
It keeps the nervous system overstimulatedthrough nonstop media, digital noise, fear
cycles, and performance driven culture.
(26:15):
It glorifies busyness and burnout.
It equates rest with laziness.
It distorts our internal compassso we mistake anxiety for
ambition and numbness for peace.
When you're in survival mode,your body isn't concerned
with truth, nuance, or growth.
(26:36):
It's only concerned withgetting through the next moment.
And when that becomes the norm, welose access to our higher intelligence,
our intuition, our ability to discernand our capacity for compassion.
This is why nervous systemregulation isn't just a wellness
practice, it's a form of liberation.
(27:00):
When we regulate, we reclaim the abilityto feel clearly, choose consciously,
and actually respond instead of react.
And that's when theprojections began to dissolve.
The truth is the false matrix systemis set up to keep us in survival mode.
(27:20):
It's not just theory, it's design.
They want us working nine to fivejobs, exhausted, compliant, and too
depleted to question the system.
They want us chronically worried aboutlosing healthcare, affording rent,
or keeping up with the endless grind.
Because when we're in survivalmode, we're easier to manipulate.
(27:44):
We stay in fear.
We don't have space to dream, regulate,or remember who we really are.
But I've talked before abouthow we escape this trap, and
it's by exploiting the paradox.
The matrix wants us to believe thatthe only way to be safe is to stay in
(28:06):
the very systems that are draining us.
But the moment we regulate ournervous systems, everything changes.
We access a different level of perception.
One where we're no longer boundby fear, but guided by resonance.
So let's go back to whatI've shared in past episodes.
(28:28):
Our emotions carry unique frequencies.
And those emotional frequenciesdon't just stay in our bodies.
They radiate outward.
They're how we create our reality.
When our nervous systems aredysregulated, we are constantly reacting.
We are triggered, we spiral, we sendout low frequency waves like hate,
(28:54):
shame, fear, and those waves go intothe quantum field, which is full of
endless strings of vibrating energy.
And because like attracts like,those waves collapse into particles
that match their frequency.
That's what gets pulled backinto our field through the
(29:14):
toroidal flow of our energy body.
So if you're constantlyreacting, constantly angry,
constantly blaming, guess what?
You're attracting more of that energy- not as punishment, but as feedback.
But with a regulated nervoussystem, you become the observer.
(29:39):
Thoughts no longerimmediately equal emotion.
You can witness a thought, holdspace for it, and choose your
frequency - and that changes everything.
This is how we exit survival.
This is how we collapse the false matrix.
Not by fighting it, butby exploiting the paradox.
(30:01):
By realizing we don'thave to play by its rules.
By choosing regulation, emotionalsovereignty, and quantum awareness.
That's how we become free.
And the first step is understandingthe actual quantum physics behind all
of this so it's not just some abstractspiritual concept, but a grounded reality.
(30:25):
When we talk about creatingour own reality, we're not
talking about wishful thinking.
We're talking about quantum law.
We're talking about how vibrationalfrequency influences wave collapse and
how the energy we emit literally sculptsthe architecture of our lived experience.
(30:46):
From there, we heal the nervous systembecause a dysregulated body cannot
hold higher frequencies consistently.
And then we do the inner work, thereal work, the often uncomfortable
work of becoming radicallyself-aware and honest with ourselves.
"Where am I still clear?
(31:07):
Where am I still carrying blame?
Where am I still outsourcing power?
What am I refusing to feel?" We startnoticing the loops, the projections,
the contradictions, and we lovingly,steadily begin to release because
we can't fake our frequency.
(31:28):
And we can't bypass the work, butwe can meet it with grace and let
it carry us into a new timeline.
And I mentioned that we need to haveradical self-awareness, but self-awareness
doesn't always have to be radical andit definitely shouldn't be performative.
(31:49):
It can be soft, gentle - a quiet noticing.
"Why did that bother me? What partof me flinched? What part of me
wants to be seen right now?" Thisis how we use mirrors consciously.
This is how we stop outsourcing ourpower to projections and start reclaiming
(32:09):
the parts of us that have been exiled.
It's not about being perfect, it'sabout being honest and willing to
see what's underneath the surface.
That's white hole consciousness.
It doesn't need to win the narrative.
It doesn't need to be right.
It just watches.
It sees the energy, it holds the nuance.
(32:32):
It notices the trauma, and then itasks, "which frequency do I want to
live from now?" And when you reach whitehole frequency, you stop trying to win.
You stop glorifying the struggle.
You stop blaming men, blaming women,blaming the world, and you realize
(32:52):
there's no villain, only mirrors.
The distortion also becomes obvious.
You see through the thought formsthat were planted to keep people
looping in the system of control.
And that's where the spiral finally ends.
Not with a plot twist, but with peace.
And from that peace, we can beginto see clearly even in the spaces
(33:17):
where collective emotion is intense.
Take the current wave of hating menor down with the patriarchy discourse
- there's so much unprocessed trauma there.
And it's understandable.
Many women have been deeply hurt,silenced, abused, or ignored
within patriarchal structures,but we need to add nuance here.
(33:41):
The patriarchy wasn't createdby men as a collective gender.
It was engineered intentionallyby the dark global elite as
part of a broader control grid.
A system that distorts bothmasculine and feminine energy.
Yes, men have enacted harm under thatsystem, but they've also been deeply
(34:04):
harmed by it - disconnected fromemotion, pushed into provider roles,
shamed out of sensitivity, blamedfor a system they didn't create.
If we can understand that wecan begin to release the blame.
We can stop projecting onto menwhat was never theirs to hold alone.
(34:28):
And we can stop confusingpower with oppression.
And to flip the mirror, thinkabout the way society talks
about women, especially online.
There's a constant policing offemininity - too loud, too sexy,
too much, too shallow, too soft.
Women are told to speakup, but not too much.
(34:51):
Be visible, but not too visible.
It's a no-win game.
And we see this same binary logicrepeated again and again and again.
We see it everywhere.
It feels like no matterwhat you do, you cannot win.
And another place I've been seeingthis recently online is this logic
(35:15):
getting applied to influencers.
People love to hate them.
People say they're performative,shallow, materialistic.
But here's the other side of the story.
Many influencers are carvingout paths of creative freedom.
They're doing what they love.
They're working from home,building communities, sharing
(35:38):
what they're passionate aboutand making real money doing it.
Isn't that what we all say we want?
Why is it more respectable to workfor a corporation selling someone
else's vision than to market for abrand you love, on your own terms?
Why is the office grind noble,but online influence is shameful?
(36:01):
Again, it's the same distortion, thesame binary, the same projections.
And like I said, I used those as examplesbecause I've been seeing that hate and
negativity around those a lot recently.
But seriously, in a polarizedsystem, no one can win.
(36:22):
Everyone becomes a target.
But when we drop out of the blameloops, we start to see people as
people - complex, flawed, expressive,layered - and we stop exiling the very
freedoms we say we want for ourselves.
So as we move forward,can we hold more nuance?
(36:45):
Can we pause beforelabeling someone a villain?
Can we look at the thoughtforms we're participating in?
Can we stay curious instead of reactive?
That's how we stop feedingdistortion and start living in truth.
So that's all I have for today.
I hope you like this episode.
(37:06):
I love you all and have a great day.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.