“Kizzy: The Woman Who Shouldn’t Be Here… But Is.”-episode20

Today on Feral But Sober, I sat down with my girl Kizzy from The New Foundation Recovery Speaks — and she opened up in a way that was raw, honest, and unbelievably powerful. Kizzy told us that her very first addiction wasn’t alcohol or pills — it was men and sex. In high school, she was extremely promiscuous, not because she wanted attention or drama, but because she truly believed sleeping with someone would make them love her. That was the only version of “love” she understood at the time, and it shaped everything that came after. And when you hear the rest of her story, you understand exactly why. Kizzy grew up with young parents who did the best they could, but at just nine years old, she survived years of sexual assault from her grandfather — a man she couldn’t escape, a man she still had to sit on the lap of at holidays. That trauma rewired her understanding of safety, affection, and worth. She was an athletic star in high school, popular, talented, killing it on the outside… but carrying a whole different world on the inside. She went to college, started drinking heavy, met her first husband, and they had that fast, whirlwind romance. What she didn’t know was that he had a secret addiction. They went through two painful terminations, had two beautiful daughters, and somewhere in the middle of all that, Kizzy got introduced to pain pills after an injury — and the numbness felt like relief from everything she’d been running from. Her parents stepped in with a small intervention and got her into treatment, and for a while she stayed off the pills. She was working, raising her girls, doing good. Then she met her second husband — and the second the ring was on, everything changed. He didn’t want her kids around. He didn’t want them heard. He didn’t even want them eating outside their rooms. When he told her she “would’ve been alright if she didn’t come with kids,” she left — and that’s when alcohol took over. She didn’t even realize she was addicted until she woke up in withdrawal. The drinking got so bad she sent her girls to live with their dad, and they never lived with her again. She went to New Mexico fully intending to drink herself to death — six months, half a gallon of vodka a day. She collapsed outside and woke up a month later on life support. She had signed a DNR, but a nurse — who had just lost her brother to overdose — called Kizzy’s mom and said, “Not this one.” After Kizzy recovered, no one ever found that nurse again. Doctors told her she’d never live without oxygen or an insulin pump. They were wrong. She’s been sober 8½ years now. Married to a man who actually loves her. Showing up for people every single day on TikTok. Hosting morning lives. Helping women. Helping anyone who needs it. But the deepest wound is the distance between her and her daughters. She sends them both a text every single day that just says, “I love you.” For years those messages didn’t even deliver. Now they do — still no response — but maybe that’s a little crack of hope. Maybe one day they’ll be ready. And if they are, she’s waiting with open arms. Kizzy owns her past. She doesn’t sugarcoat it. She doesn’t blame anyone else. She stands in her truth and she stands in her recovery with so much grace. And I’m proud to say our platforms are partnering up — we’re running a weekly women’s Zoom group together, and we’re hosting a three‑hour sober New Year’s Eve live party so nobody has to ring in the new year alone. This episode is heavy, it’s honest, and it’s full of hope. Kizzy is living proof that you can lose everything, you can break, you can almost not make it — and still come back stronger, softer, and more full of purpose than ever.