November 28, 2025 • 46 mins
Episode eighteen of Food, Flowers, & Fun: Visits with farm women from around the world features Elizabeth Collins of Graceful Acres Farm Stay at Otter Creek Farm as we discuss:
- Navigating farm family dynamics
- Starting a farmstay
- Investing in yourself
- Staying true to yourself
- Much, much more!
You will love this curious and purposeful farmer!
About Elizabeth:
Elizabeth is passionate about animals, food and farming. After years of searching for local, “clean”, healthy food and working with struggling farmers, she decided to grow her own food and create the life she envisioned: a simple, grateful life surrounded by abundance.
Connect with Elizabeth at:
- Website: https://ottercreekfarmny.com/page/graceful-acres-farmstay
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gracefulacresfarmstay/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100079204614079
Connect with K at:
- Website: https://www.penlightfarmers.com
- YouTube: @k.castrataro3466
- Facebook and Instagram: @penlightfarmers
- Podcast (audio): https://www.penlightfarmers.com/podcast
- Podcast (video): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIVBn53rrIsTwS4ag6hH4DHnxG_Lxqt7x
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
K Castrataro (00:00):
Have you ever considered how much energy we
(00:02):
spend staying? We stay inrelationships, stay grounded,
stay positive. Find out howElizabeth Collins stays in the
second of our two-part episodeof Food, Flowers and Fun: Visits
with farm women from around theworld.
Unknown (00:28):
if you're the woman who does it all, farm work,
housework, book work, homework,getting up at the break of dawn.
This is the podcast for you. Howdo you apply? My friend? Do you
get away from the cares of theday? Restock, rootstock,
feedstock, seed stock. Chat withwomen around the world to raise
(00:51):
food flowers and fun with yourhost, kay Castrataro, that's me.
K Castrataro (01:00):
So welcome back to Food, Flowers and Fun
with farm women from around theworld. As always, we are
sponsored by Pen Light forFarmers, helping farmers create
more time, energy and abundance,and we have an exciting week,
because this is actually parttwo of our interview with
Elizabeth Collins from Oh, I'mgoing to say it wrong. Grace
(01:24):
acres, Graceful Acres, GracefulAcres Farmstay at Otter Creek
Farm. And last week, if youjoined us, you got her origin
story. And so this week, we'regoing to see okay with all of
this excitement that happened inher past and her journey with
food, and her deciding that herwhole life as she knew it was
(01:49):
not working for her anymore, andshe needed to move into this new
field of agriculture as anactual farmer, and not just a
farmer support person, not justSo those of you out there who
are farmer support people likeme, we're not just farmer
support people. We are importanttoo. But she wanted to move into
(02:09):
the farming aspect herself. Andso Elizabeth, we're going to let
you jump right in with the nextthe rest of the story. Isn't
that what they used to say?
Unknown (02:23):
Um, yeah, so I think we just left off, like, right
before I I had, didn't get thegoat farm right. So I was trying
to buy my own farm and do my ownthing. So I did a year of I
found an internship, and I wasvery specific about where I
went. I wanted to find a placethat had a farm stay. I wanted a
(02:43):
place that had a family. Eventhough I didn't have a family of
my own, I just, I really kind ofwanted to understand those farm
family dynamics. So I went toOneonta, New York, which is
about three hours from where Iwas living, and I spent eight
months, I like to say, in ametal box in the middle of the
field with no water andelectricity and all the farming
(03:04):
thing. So it was, yeah, veryrough. Okay,
K Castrataro (03:08):
talk about the metal box, all right. So, so
this is not, this does not soundlike a positive experience to
me, like I'm picturing metalbox, and I'm honestly, like,
picturing a tractor trailertruck body, and it's like hot,
and that, that's what I'mpicturing.
Unknown (03:26):
So it was an army. It was an Army thing. I don't even
know how to explain it. It was abox. It was not as big as a
tractor trailer thing. But youwere right. You were kind of,
kind of close. It just had awindow or two. Wow. Okay,
mattress on the floor, and yeah,no power, no electricity. So now
there was a communal bathroom.There was a bathroom and a
(03:49):
shower. I took a lot of swims, Ishould think, but, um, yeah, but
in a great way, like, right? Itcould be a, not a positive
experience, but it was a reallyamazing experience to realize
how little I needed, right? Iwas, yeah, we all like live, and
we have lots of conveniences andlots of things, and I didn't
(04:10):
need any of those things in mylife at that time, so, but by
winter time I did, I needed someinsulation and some heat. So I
was, yeah, I was ready. I wasprepared. But there I did. They
had, you know, it was actuallywhat I'm doing today is very
similar to what I witnessedthere, and that's why I went. I
wanted to understand the farmstay business. Like, who
(04:32):
actually comes to stay on afarm? How much money do they
spend? What do we do? What dothey do? How do you produce your
own food? So, again, like, yeah,that's kind of what I'm doing.
So, so I did that for a year. Sotalk to
K Castrataro (04:46):
me about what you were doing living at like, I'm
really, maybe I'm fixated on thewrong, the wrong element of this
story right now, but I am reallykind of fixated on the metal box
in the middle of the field withno power and electricity. And
I'm wondering, you're at a farmstay. I am. I'm going to go out
on a limb, and guess that theguests are not living in a metal
(05:08):
box as well, or
Unknown (05:10):
beautiful outfitter times two bedroom. Okay, all
right. They have water. They didnot have electricity, but they
did have plumbing, and they hadrunning water. Yeah. So what
K Castrataro (05:22):
was your role there? Like as, I mean, you're
interning. So, so what did theyhave you doing? Yeah,
Unknown (05:28):
a little bit of everything. I mean, I think it
was actually a hard thing forall of us to navigate, because I
wasn't a 20 year old, so Iwasn't going to just go along
and I had a little more I wantedto understand. I wanted to
understand the business. So,yeah, we kind of have had to
navigate. There were definitelysome of that part that we needed
to figure out. But for a littlewhile, I tried to help organize
(05:51):
business stuff, because of mybusiness background that felt
like it got a little toopersonal, or like a little and
either that or I was going toend up running their business.
And that's not why I was there.Like I wanted to see the
animals. They had someone livingthere that had been an intern
and was their quote, unquotefarm manager. So she was taking
(06:11):
care of the animals. I wasn'tdoing a whole lot. So I started
my own enterprise. I raised 70turkeys when I was there. I
built a turkey tractor, and Idon't know, went through that
whole process of building allthat and buying the turkeys and
raising the turkeys and doingthat so that I had my own
project, and then they had okaywith
K Castrataro (06:30):
that, huh? So did you get to keep the money that
you, like? That was your ownbusiness, like a side hustle?
Unknown (06:35):
Yeah, ultimately, it was going to be part of the
leaving. I was supposed to staytill November, but literally,
was freezing my keister off. Somade a deal with them that they
bought me out of the turkeys andthe tractor. So actually, I just
saw that farm owner last week ata agritourism conference, and
she was like, we still use ourturkey tractor. It's always
(06:56):
reminds me of you, and so theyown that now they bought the
turkeys from me and then soldthem because they were the ones
with the customer base anyway.So, so yeah, so they were okay
with it, and it made perfectsense. Like, even when I farmed
today, I'm like, if anyone hastheir own enterprise and they
want to run it here, absolutely,please. That's like, way better
(07:17):
than paying someone a paycheck.
K Castrataro (07:18):
So, oh, so that is that how that works? So they
didn't, I mean, so you were anunpaid intern, absolutely
unpaid. Oh, makes more sense.Yeah,
Unknown (07:31):
bad, really. Well, so, but, and I always tell people,
like, we just had an intern herethis last year, and she was 23
and we ended up paying herbecause I can't the days of free
internships are like gone. But Ieven before then, I had to
realize, on my own, myself, atthe time that I did it, that it
(07:52):
was an investment in myself,like, while I wasn't making any
money, I wasn't spending anymoney, I had zero cost other
than, I don't think I had a carpayment, so I had insurance and
a cell phone bill. And that's apowerful thing that, like, if
you have any money issues, youdo that year, and you're all
done. Money isn't a big deal anylonger. You just don't spend a
(08:13):
lot. If you have a money issue,you stop spending money. So
there was a, you know, I don'tnecessarily feel like I had a
lot. I just had a lot of fear ofnot making my like, Oh, my God,
I'm 40. Like, how can I go awhole year and not make money?
Well, you just don't spend anymoney. Or if I decided to go
back to school, I was going tospend a fortune. And so again,
it was an investment in myselfand very just part. Like, I
(08:36):
literally, that was, like, themost valuable year of my life,
as far as setting me up to runmy business and to make that
transition, yeah.
K Castrataro (08:45):
So I just, I really want to, like, highlight
what you're talking about, thatinvestment in yourself. Because
we, we often, especially asfarmers, I think, you know, we
look at the money and we'relike, we don't have enough. So
because we don't have enough, wecan't spend it on frivolous
(09:06):
things and coaching or trainingor, you know, even sometimes a
new piece of equipment. It seemslike it's frivolous because it's
going to cost us money. Andreally, oftentimes, those
investments really are thethings that change us. Because,
(09:26):
you know, equipment comes andgoes, Turkeys come and go, but
the farmer stays like the farmerhas to live with themselves all
the time. And if you arebuilding skills, and if you are
building confidence, and if youare building networks, those are
things that go with you whereveryou go. And, you know, I know a
(09:50):
lot of people are doing the, youknow, they take a millionaire
and they take all their moneyaway, and then they say, Okay,
you have a month to, you know,make a million dollars again.
And they do it. And they don'tdo it because they're relying on
their savings that are sittingin, you know, JP, Morgan
somewhere. They do it becausethey've invested so much in
(10:11):
themselves. They know what theyhave to do to be successful. And
I think that that's reallypowerful. I think as farmers, if
we could shift our mindset onthat a little bit. And I think
the farmers who have shifted areable to take risks that look
foolish to the outside world,but they're really aligned with
(10:33):
their core values, and sothey're able to make it work. So
yeah, thank you for bringingthat out. I think that's super,
super important, important,yeah, yeah. So, so when you you
invested in yourself, you gotout of the box, and then where
did you
Unknown (10:50):
go? Yeah? So, well, you know, and I had that moment of
like, I can go anywhere. And wemight have talked about this
earlier, so it was maybe thesecond time that I had that
feeling of like, Oh, my God. NowI've done that because I was
open. I was open to go there,and if it was amazing to, like,
look at property there or farmwith that, I don't I was just
open. And it was really clearthat that was not where I was
(11:11):
going to stay. So it kind ofleft me. I tried not to think
about that during the summer Iwas there, and tried to just be
very present and deal with thatlater. And but then it kind of
came down to figuring that out.And yes, it was like, go
wherever, or in some of this,this whole journey was like,
kind of finding my roots, Iguess. So I looked in, out the
(11:36):
door to wherever, and I was justlike, that is too overwhelming.
And that's not what I'm I'm not.I didn't feel like I was chasing
that. I felt like I was tryingto find my roots, but I probably
wasn't quite confident in that.So it was like, Alright, I moved
up to New York in 2014 I was inthis area of Saratoga, springs
and Cambridge, New York. I havea network of people, of friends,
(11:57):
like from all different walks,and I don't want to find a new
community that is my community,like Elizabeth, that's your
community. Figure it out. So andlived there was a woman who
actually, when I was doing theinternship, was choosing whether
to stay local and maybe dosomething with her, like
business, like start my glampingor my farm, stay there, but just
(12:21):
I felt like I needed more. Iwanted more experience. I wanted
an opportunity to learn and notdo so she was like, she actually
bought tents based on my ideaswhile I was away, and told me
how amazing it was. And I waslike, What the heck? So I
actually moved back to her farmbecause I just needed time. I
just kept buying time. Of like,I just need a roof and a bed.
K Castrataro (12:45):
You're this inspirational figure though,
like, they say, Man, I think itwould be really fun to do this
farm. Stay thing intense, and soI'm gonna go learn about it and
and then this person's like,wow, that's a genius idea. I'm
gonna do that.
Unknown (13:01):
So thank goodness. Like all like I have the the thought
process of, like, all the tiderises, like we all rise, versus,
you know, I'm sure I had atwinge at first of like, Oh my
gosh. But she, when she told meabout it while I was away, she
was very lovely about it andgave me credit for the idea. And
just so it was a niceopportunity to go there and kind
(13:22):
of help her out. She because shewas working full time. So So
again, I kind of went to thatpath, and I just, I've worked
for myself my whole life, and Ijust need to stop ever thinking
that I can work for someone forit was my idea, and I wanted to
do it myself. So that justbecame clear and apparent, and
then it was like, Where do I gofrom there? And I had another
(13:46):
God moment of you that's aboutfarming with a partner and how
that all happened. And there hadbeen a family that had been in
my life for years, and actually,I met them through my ex
husband. So it's kind of a crazystory. And I, I'll, I'll stay
fairly surface on all of it. I'mjust the sense of, sometimes
things are in your life and youhave no idea. Like, I was
(14:07):
married, he was married. Iactually knew his parents. So he
wasn't even on the there waslike, there was no US, there was
no
K Castrataro (14:14):
yeah, there was no connection between the two of
this other, like, kind of asatellite way over there that
was not related to you,
Unknown (14:23):
Yep, exactly. And so it was parents. And again,
exploring my roots. I realizedwhen I moved up here, I moved
away from my family, and sothese people were, like, my
grandparents, and they were myfamily. And when I was married,
I was like, wanting to come outto the farm and bring lunch to
them and visit. And I was doingthat on a monthly basis, and I
did it while I did myinternship, because I was just
like, because I was just like,this is the only family I have
(14:45):
here, and I'm not going to letthem go. Just because I got
divorced doesn't mean I'm goingto let them go. Kept them in my
life. And yeah, and kind of got,like, to the point that I was
like, really trying to figureout what my next steps were. And
I had another I literally hadthis moment like. He so their
son had was going through adivorce as well, and I'd been
divorced at this point, and whenI was thinking about my next
(15:08):
steps and farming, I had thisweird, crazy moment of like,
these are my in laws, thesegrandparents of mine, these
people that are my family, thatare my how I see them as my
grandparents, like, that's how Irelate to them, like they're
actually my in laws. And I waslike, Whoa, that's crazy. Like,
(15:29):
because this farm has been in mylife, and like, it made me stop
looking and I didn't really havethe clear path of how all that
was going to work out, but weworked it out, and kind of in a
crazy like, do you want to comefarm with me? Like, asking me
that, and it's like, Oh, I do,kind of, and here we are. So,
K Castrataro (15:50):
so Not, not. Do you want to come date me? Not?
Do you want to marry me? It'sfarm with me. Yeah.
Unknown (15:57):
So we're not married. We're not we're farming
together. I mean we, we are in arelationship, but it's we're
farming each other, and that'swhat we're doing. And, yeah, so,
and yeah, fast forward to today,and it's like, holy crap. What
happened so and that there's alot packed into there. Because
sometimes I hate I don't wedon't need to go the details. I
(16:18):
just sometimes when I talk aboutthis, it's all amazing. It does
not mean it was easy, hard, lotsof transition, and all this,
this whole story, lots oftransition. But, yeah, it is the
transition that got us to wherewe are, and got me to a point
of, and, you know, and it'sfunny, it's, I think, those
things in life, of it's kind ofwhen I actually stopped looking
(16:39):
or stopped worrying about that,like a partner or anything, it
was like, I had to just move on.And as soon as I let that
thought process out the door,it's like, poof, right there.
And I was like, Oh man, yeah.
K Castrataro (16:54):
Well, and that's, you know, there is that side as
well, because on the one hand,it's like, Okay, I've been been
worried about this thing. It'sdone. I'm done. And then this
person shows up, and you'relike, crap. I had just gotten
through all of this, and thenyou've got to navigate it from a
(17:16):
whole different realm. So, youknow, because I found it
interesting that you had gone tothe the farm stay. I'm just at
that farm stay just is like themetal box farm stay now, so, you
know, you went to the metal boxpartially defined, like that
whole like, see how the familydynamics work on a farm, which,
(17:36):
let's talk about that for aminute. Because, like, you want
to talk about the thing thatnobody wants to talk about.
Family dynamics on farms can bereally, really complicated, and
they can be fabulous and theycan be awful. And so I'm
curious, what did you see in thefarm, farm family that you
(18:02):
stayed with, it sounds like someof the business stuff and how
that related that that soundedlike there was maybe a little
bit of tension and conflictthere, but also how, how did you
navigate all of this farm familystuff in your current situation?
Because you started out aspartners, but you already had,
like this thought of your inlaws as in laws, and so that's
(18:27):
already a shift going on. Sotalk to me about that.
Unknown (18:32):
Yeah, it's a lot. So I mean, I think this far the
family that I stayed with, Imean, they had kids, so I always
say what I saw was beautiful andugly all at the same time. Like,
first of all, I learned so muchabout, like, having children,
like raising them on a farm,having having a kid at home.
(18:56):
Like, I didn't know you couldhave a baby at home. Like I
didn't have kids because, like,a hospital and a minivan and
soccer practice and McDonald'sdid not align with me, like, at
all, yeah, or public school,like, none of that did I like, I
did not like those things in myown so to, like, bring a kid in
(19:16):
the world and, like, tote themdown the same path just didn't
align with me. So it was sobeautiful to see this other way.
And, you know, like, so thiscouple had actually built a
house and started this farm onher in laws farm. So, like,
there was that dynamic
K Castrataro (19:35):
where that's always interesting, yes, was,
like, messy,
Unknown (19:39):
blurry, helpful and not helpful all the same time. Like
her, her father in law, helpedme build the turkey tractor.
Like, yeah, just so yeah. Butthey had their own internal
things that they were dealingwith, yeah, within the family.
Like, actually, I would say,like, the couple that I worked
for, they were my age. So, butthey had been married for 20
(20:01):
years, and, you know, they hadtheir own internal conflicts.
And I actually, I actually see,I was able to share this with
the farmer when I saw her lastweek of I see some of my own
relationship issues differently,but similar. It's just really
hard to work with your partner.It's really, really hard. And
it's really, really hard to workwith an independent male partner
(20:25):
who has only worked for men hiswhole life, and he's a genuine
farmer. There's so much packedinto there. Let's talk
K Castrataro (20:31):
about those gender dynamics we you know? I mean,
mostly we're women here on food,flowers and fun. The men who
come to us are very broad mindedmen, and I love them. I love
them for their broad mindedness.But gender, gender stuff is real
(20:51):
as much as we want to say itisn't, and we all have, like,
our own ways of dealing withthings. So So yeah, let's, let's
discuss how you keep thatrelationship going. Because I
think this is, this is not, thisis not an atypical conversation
and so, and, you know,communication is one of my key
pillars, because I feel like thecommunication skills within a
(21:14):
family, within the partners,because oftentimes you're you're
partnering with people thatyou're not family with. They
aren't really challenging, andthey will make or break your
business, and they will make orbreak your your personal well
being. So, so yeah, what did youWhat did you see and learn? And
how are you applying that? Andwhat are you doing differently?
Unknown (21:35):
And, yeah, so I don't, I had no idea I was learning
anything while I was there. Asfar as far as the relation, I
was just like, I don't wantthat. And here I am living it.
So it's really funny. So whatI've learned now, because, and
I'll just keep so he like, soI'm with a partner. It's his
(21:58):
family's farm. He's the fifth.He has been married twice
before, and he has two sets ofkids from two other women. So
let, let's just like, there's noway that that can be smooth. But
we're I, but I think we've doneokay, honestly, like,
considering those are thecircumstances, and the kids have
(22:18):
been as amazing as they possiblycan through the situation. So,
yeah, because
K Castrataro (22:22):
that's not easy. That's none of that's easy on
the kids. Like, no, as adivorcee with two kids, like,
and I don't have anotherpartner, but my ex does. So,
like, I totally, totally getthat to add two sets. I know
people in that situation, and itreally is tricky.
Unknown (22:40):
Yeah, so that is a whole nother topic on its own.
But so then between he and I,this year is a very pivotal year
for us in that sense of ourrelationship, because it you're
100% right. I think it can makeor break it. And in it, like,
(23:01):
and he always we when we talkabout this stuff, like there's
really no way to separate yourpersonal life from your farm
life. It's not like any otherbusiness. You don't stop at five
o'clock. You can't have youroffice, and you shut the door,
and now you're in your personalmode, like it is just messy and
blurry. And then you have thesegenerational dynamics, and you
and you have, and I can actuallyrelate with this a little bit
(23:25):
for him, of he has never workedoff the farm until now, so he
has never had, like speaking ofcommunication, or, I don't want
to say social skills, butworking with Another person, not
that, not family. We learn a lotfrom that. We're challenged. I'm
challenged. I work. This is whyI work for myself, right? I have
(23:47):
those own i i share similarthings with him, and because
it's hard working
K Castrataro (23:52):
with people, people are hard, like, I love
them. Yeah, I love people, or Iwouldn't be doing what I do,
but, but people hard and they'retricky and they're complicated
and they're messy, and so, yeah,yeah. And if you haven't learned
those skills, like they reallyare communication skills. I
remember I was working workingwith one client, and we talked
(24:14):
about some communication stuff,and they looked at me and they
said, Wow, if we had learnedthis when we were 20? No, yeah,
they were like 70. If we hadlearned this at 20, how
different would our life hadbeen? And probably a lot
different. But it wasn't evenlike communication just wasn't a
thing. You just shut your mouthand did what you were told, or
(24:36):
you fought and you separated,
Unknown (24:38):
and that's and I tried it. This is what I even tell
myself, but I would tell anyonein this of like it wasn't there
for us or it wasn't there forthem, and like you've gotta let
that go, and you just have to belike it's here for us right now.
So that 70 year old, that iswhen she is to deal with it, my
48 year old self, that's nowwhen I deal with it, like I.
(25:00):
Keep reminding myself there'snothing wrong with this. A hard
thing to say, because I want topull my hair out sometimes,
right? And because I'm tryingand, you know, I just I know how
to run a business. I feel like Ihave good communication skills.
I feel like I've done a lot ofpersonal growth, and as you
(25:21):
explained about me earlier, thatI'm becoming I always be on that
path. I have a partner who isvery, very, very comfortable
being 150 years old, like welive out of the past, but I love
that about him, like that keepsme planted. That I remember
saying to me early on, like, youjust need a pot to be planted
(25:42):
in. Like, oh my God. And he gaveme the pot. Like, right? Like,
my, my life is here, yeah, sothat that is a really important
piece, because otherwise I'd beout the door. It's so hard, so
freaking hard, I would be gone.And I don't want to be gone, not
ready to be gone, so I just haveto figure it out. And so we're
(26:06):
so what I've we actually, sowinter time is when we, you
know, come back together, like,okay, how'd the year go? And I'm
into this way more than he is,but he does sit down and appease
me, and we have theseconversations. And I actually
think, for the first time. Ihope that he'll be able to sit
down this year with a littlemore of his own presence, like
he's never had choices in hislife, like this was just given
(26:30):
to him. This is what he wasexpected to do. So when we talk
about dreaming, or all any ofthis, like, and I'm going to say
girly stuff, because, quitefrankly, I think we have it in
our nature more to dream and togo for it, and we have the
possibility to do that more sowe well, we have to,
K Castrataro (26:48):
we have to be dreamers. Because we're
nurturing. We're as as a mom,you're nurturing the next
generation, and as you weresaying about not wanting to
bring a child into the settingthat you're seeing when you when
you grow a child in your body,and then you give life to them,
(27:08):
and you say, Okay, what is yourlife going to be if you're not a
dreamer, you're not going towant any of you to be alive,
because you're going to be like,Wow, this is way too hard,
especially, you know, we've allhad hard stuff happen, so you've
got to almost have that sense ofpossibility and hope that it's
(27:32):
going to be better for them. AndI can help that happen. And so I
think shivers like I feel likethere is a sense of that. I I
also do think it's a skill thatwe can learn, which I love
teaching people, because I I seethat that the sense of
possibility gets drowned out bythe everyday drudgery, and that
(27:53):
we can shift that for ourselvesand discover something new. But
anyway, so you're it sounds likemaybe he's moving into, like, a
little bit of possibilitythinking, or
Unknown (28:07):
like minuscule but that's better than not, and I
only because I want him, and Isay that so like, what's
happening for me is I think Iwanted more for him than he
wants for himself, right? Or Isee his potential more than he
sees that's not good. It seemsgreat like it seems like the
right thing, because you're likeRobert, you're like the
(28:28):
cheerleader, but not when thatmakes him feel bad, right?
Feeling like he's not enough. SoI really like this year, I
realized all of a sudden I saw,see so much more potential for
this farm. That is not mine,right? I don't own it. It's not
my kids. It's going to it's notany I don't have anything to do
(28:50):
with it, except for the presentmoment. Like I look at how I
leave this land. Is my legacyhere. That's it. And I had this
big push because he was, like,the dairy got sold his dairy
cows. So it was basically hisfarm went defunct in 2018 when
we met. So I like, and he wasgetting divorced, so he had all
(29:12):
this crap on his back. And Ijust, like, kind of took the
bull by the horns. Was like,Okay, well, we gotta pay the
bills. So like, how are we goingto do this? So for the last six
years, that's what we've beendoing, is like, kind of turning
the ship around. And I, I don'tknow, because he was kind of
dealing with his stuff, and eventhough he'd sit down at the
(29:34):
table with me every winter andsay, This is what sounds like a
great plan, that's what we'lldo. I'm looking at it like he
hasn't told me this, but I knowit like I was, like, seeing
something bigger than he sees,and I've got to let that go. So
like, this year is going to bebecause of those communication
issues, like he doesn't want tolearn the skills, and that has
(29:55):
to be okay, or I leave right,like I. I changed something
else, like, so I had to, like toexplore, like, what if I'm not?
If I don't want to leave thisrelationship and I want to keep
farming and I love this person,what can shift? Well, the
business is going to have toshift. I've got to take that
pressure off of us for him toshow up as the CEO of his farm.
(30:20):
He's not a CEO, and he can, wecan say those words. Sometimes
that's a challenge. Sometimesthat makes him feel bad, but
when we get down to the root ofthat conversation, he's totally
fine with that. And it's like,great, let us just be okay with
that. I don't mind being CEO orwhatever. We just need to
(30:41):
navigate that. And guess what? Ihave my own business here. I
want to spend more time there,and I don't want to worry about
the future of the farm, yeah,beyond my life, because it's not
That's not mine. So just reallyhaving to explore, like, what's
my business and what's not mybusiness? Not in tech, nope.
K Castrataro (31:01):
You're like, your circle, my therapist, use the my
circle, your circle. Like, thereare things that there are things
that I'm responsible for, andthose are in my circle, and then
there are things that I mightwant to see for other people,
but that's not my circle. Like,you know, a really simple
example is when my kids wereyoung and still now, but when my
(31:22):
kids were young, we used to, youknow, go to the grocery store
and they would throw God, awfultemper tantrums, and I would
just look at them and I'd belike, the only person you're
embarrassing right now isyourself, because I'm not
screaming like a banshee In themiddle of the grocery store, and
I frankly, don't care if allthose people out there are going
(31:45):
to look at me and be like, she'sa bad mom. She can't control
their kids. And I'm like, Thisis not my problem. I have taught
them how to behave. If they'rechoosing not to behave in that
way, that's their choice. But Ineed to grocery shop, and I'm
not letting them think that weleave the grocery store because
they're throwing a tempertantrum.
Unknown (32:06):
I think I'm going to take this advice into the next
day we go work together.
K Castrataro (32:12):
It's really but that takes, yeah, that takes so
much practice, like, especiallyas women, right? Because there
is this cultural thing. I don'tknow if you experienced it
growing up, but I sure did thatthere was this understanding
that somehow, if there wassomething wrong in the world,
had to be my fault, like MountSt Helens exploded when I was a
(32:36):
kid. That had to have been myfault. I don't know what I did,
but I must have done somethingto make Mount St Helens exploit.
Well, that's the most ridiculousthing in the world, but we do
have this sense that we'resomehow responsible for
everybody else's stuff, butwe're not ever taught to be
responsible for our own and sowe're not able to say, okay, my
(33:01):
partner is not a greatcommunicator. There is a depth
to our communication that Ireally want, and it ain't gonna
happen. So I can feel guiltyabout that and be like, Well,
what's wrong with me? I must notbe the right partner. Or I can
look at it and say, okay, he hasto take responsibility for his
(33:22):
communication skills. If I'mlearning mine and I'm growing,
I'm doing what I need to do. Andthen, like you said, can I be
secure in who I am and let himbe who he is, or can I not? And
depending on where you come downon that. I mean, there are, you
know, many different ways tomake that function or not
(33:46):
function. So yeah, I find thatto be super, super powerful,
super important, and alsoreally, really hard to do,
especially when the person thatyou're doing that with doesn't
have that same awareness.Because then you're like,
tempted to do all the emotionalawareness for everybody, and you
have to just sometimes let themsuffer like and, and I don't
(34:07):
mean that in a punitive way, butnot learning these skills hurts
you like it makes you suffer.Your life is harder because you
don't learn these skills. Andagain. Like the kid, you know,
you could be happy and you couldget a treat at the end of this,
or you can throw a tempertantrum and have your mom put
(34:29):
you to bed when we get home. Notmy problem.
Unknown (34:32):
Like, yeah, it's a really hard, hard, hard thing.
And, uh, yeah. I mean, I guess Ihad a sense of relief this year,
of like, kind of realizing thatfinally, and like, letting that
go and acceptance, right andnow, just when we go back to the
(34:54):
drawing board this winter, justnavigating the businesses like
now, the true businesses, theeconomics of our. Life a little
bit differently. And, you know,my farm stay is my own personal
business that I do here. I mean,he helps me to certain extent,
but it's my LLC, and it's mysource of income, and it's been
the last thing like, we had tohave a thriving farm. We had to
(35:15):
have a farm that could pay itsbills in order to have the farm
stay.
K Castrataro (35:18):
Yeah, have a farm stay without a farm. And this
Unknown (35:22):
is like, even what I just told you earlier about,
like the timing, like I when Iacknowledge this is like, now is
the time it was not meant for usto have this conversation, or
for me to have this thoughtprocess prior to this. Like,
these are not regretfulthoughts. These are like, Oh, I
had to run the I had to get thefarm up and running in order to
(35:46):
do the farm stay. The farm stayhad to be the third priority,
number three throughout all ofit. Now I get to transition and
make that my first priority,because the bills are paid right
now. Like, I don't know what'sgoing to happen when we
physically can't do what we'redoing or whatever, but we'll
have to deal with that. Like,that's not my personality.
(36:08):
That's so hard, yeah, sofreaking hard for me. But this,
and honestly, so this wholejourney as we that you've heard
is like, it's a spiritualjourney for me too. So it's a
practice in faith right now. OfI was definitely led where I am,
and I have to let it go. I haveto let I have to know that my
(36:29):
future is taken care of, and Idon't need to know what it looks
K Castrataro (36:33):
like. No, yeah, yeah. So how do you how do you
keep that grounding when you'rein that, um, what kind of
practices do you
Unknown (36:47):
have? I've been really looking, I It's been hard for me
because I don't not a churchgoer, and I haven't quite found
the right like the right thing,but I've been looking for
community recently, so I'veprobably been, like the last
year, trying to figure out,navigate this. I still don't
(37:09):
have an answer. I just did awisdom school. I'm doing. I'm
actually in the middle of awisdom school through Cynthia
bergel online, thing that shedid in person, but she teaches
it anyways. It's been amazing,and it's making me realize that
(37:29):
the more I practice, like,because I have a tendency to be
busy during the summer and notdo a lot, and just like, I mean,
I talk to the trees and to thegrass and all this stuff, so
like, I'm constantly connected,and I feel like every day, I
find a way to find gratitude andto find connection to something
bigger. But there's something indepth about learning deeper or
(37:54):
practicing or practicing incommunity and like, so I like
this last year, I was actuallyreally good. I made sure
quarterly I went to Kripalu,which is a yoga Education
Center. Yeah, even in this deadof summer, I just took a day and
just did a day trip and hadsomeone else cook for me. And
yeah, and quiet, like quietdoesn't happen easily for me in
(38:18):
the summer. So a little bitabout of that, but it's still
very solo practice. So even ifI'm reading something in the
mornings, like right now, I'mstruggling with this wisdom.
School has been great andblowing me my mind with these
lectures, and we're doing somegroup zoom calls, but like, it's
asking for, like, 30 minutes aday of a practice. I'm
(38:39):
struggling. I can't as much as Iknow I need it, I know I want it
like, does not feel sustainablefor me. And so I'm like, That's
my mental challenge right now,because it's mental it's like,
yeah, I commit to so many otherthings, and what, what is my
commitment problem?
K Castrataro (38:57):
So I'm just going to throw this out there. And
this is not like I am. I am not.I am not a therapist, and I do
not play one on TV, but I havedone a whole lot of self stuff,
and so for me, I find because Iam a very strong Christian, and
my faith is like my essence,like that is by far the center
(39:21):
it is not the way it gets playedout right now in our community.
I will say that like I do feellike I use the word Christian
very scarily, because I'm like,I don't align with a lot of what
is being done in the name ofJesus.
Unknown (39:38):
That I'm doing is Christian mysticism. Like, yes,
K Castrataro (39:42):
well, you know, and I'm finding, I am. I've
found through the years that Ihave a lot of that mystic sense
sensibility, maybe, which I didnot think, because I was not
raised in a mystic gold kind ofculture. It's kind of more like
the Roman Catholic. Mysticismthing that I'm like, oh, there's
(40:02):
something really interestingabout that. Again, not a Roman
Catholic, but there's, you know,we can learn from each other if
we have a little bit ofopenness. But anyway, all that
to say, what I notice is thatthe times that I start resisting
reading my Bible, resistjournaling and praying. It's
(40:23):
usually because there'ssomething really big that's
bothering me that I'm afraid tolook at and and that for me,
like journaling, especiallyprayer, is scripture is so
illuminating. It's, it really islike the the light shining in
(40:43):
the darkness. And so you cannothide from stuff when you're in
that place. And if you'retalking about, you know wisdom.
Wisdom is enlightenment. It'struth, it's, it's the light
shining. And so again, like nowmy my brain is tingling. There's
(41:04):
some kind of connection going onhere, but, um, so just to throw
that out there and and I willsay that one thing I do when I'm
in that situation, because itdoes, I'm like, I want to be in
this practice and thisrelationship. It's not just
practice for me. It's definitelya relationship with God. So I
want that, and I'm afraid of it.So what am I going to do? So I
(41:27):
end up using, like, this artingprocess where I write an
intention down, and it can bejust like I want to figure out
what's keeping me from spendingtime doing my practice, you
know, whatever, put the date onthere, and then quiet your mind
and just kind of think aboutthat until you see an image, and
(41:50):
then art it like you can drawit, you can paint it, you can
I'm out. I've got it all right.I have an arting thing here.
This is my arting. This is whatwas my purpose on earth. Notice
it's done on a paper bag, youknow, because doesn't everybody
art on a paper bag. But anyway,but what I've found about that,
(42:11):
and then you can talk to thepainting, but what I found about
that is that that process takesthe emotion and it diffuses it
so that then I'm able to go anddo something. So I just, like,
totally coached you. Thank you.I apologize because this is not
a, like, online coachingsession, but I totally find that
(42:32):
helpful. And I'm not an artist,like, as you can tell, art is
not my thing, but arting isn'tabout art it's a journaling
process, right? Exactly. So,yeah, so it would be interesting
to see if that, if that worksfor you, every time I talk about
journaling or arting with mysister, she's like, Yeah, I
(42:53):
don't do that. I'm like, I thinkyou would. I think you would
benefit from it. She's like, No,no, I wouldn't. I'm like, Okay,
again, we're all different. Welet each other have their space.
Oh my gosh, Elizabeth, I havejust loved having these two
sessions with you. You areamazing. And I think that, like,
(43:17):
there is so much, like, I lovejust watching your journey and
hearing about it, and then, youknow, having that sense of
anticipation for for what's tocome. So I know I asked you this
last time, but I'm going to askyou again, because I don't know
how to close out my episodes anyother way. So if you had a
second most important thing thatevery farmer should know, what
(43:40):
would that be like? Maybe justany takeaway like, what is, what
is the takeaway that as as we'velooked back on this whole
journey, you know, what is thetakeaway that you have?
Unknown (43:53):
Yeah, I guess, I mean, I guess staying true to
yourself, because I, and I, youknow, you probably want it
simple, but staying true toyourself, in the sense of
everything that you've heardfrom me over the last two
episodes have been like this, upand down and journey, and we
really haven't even, like, wedidn't talk across the surface,
(44:14):
amazing stuff that's going on inmy life right now. But it was
all amazing, I guess, right,like, so, so, yeah, and, and
when you are true to yourself,you can say it was all amazing,
right? Like, because it wasimportant. All the parts were
important and led me to where Iam, but it's I'm not at the
(44:36):
destination, right? Like, I'mbecoming, so, yeah, just staying
in alignment. And when you'renot in alignment, do wisdom
school, I don't know, like,right?
K Castrataro (44:49):
I agree. Like, it suffers. You suffer. And this
is, this is the core of of whatI believe is that you know, if
you're, if you're not followingwho you are designed to be. You
will you will suffer more, yeah,and then just difficult
circumstances, because we allhave difficult
Unknown (45:05):
circumstances. Absolutely, yep. And it's not
even like I was doing thiswisdom school, and I'm in this
point right now, not necessarilybecause I was feeling suffering.
I just because I don't sharethis with my partner. I It's,
that's my joys, but like, that'sright, like, that's the
relationship you want to keepwith God. Like, that's I want
(45:25):
to, I want to have fun with it.I want to, like, I want, like,
right? If I can't share that joywith him, I gotta find someone,
or I've gotta do it with God. Ifthat is all it is, that's fine,
yeah, and whatever. So, like,that's true to myself. So it's
like, it's not even this time itwasn't suffering. I've gotten a
(45:47):
little bit wiser. I'm not goingto wait till I'm suffering, not
that I won't, or I'm not in myown way. But they all really,
actually about, like, I justwant to really celebrate how
freaking awesome all this is,including the dirty stuff. Yeah.
K Castrataro (46:00):
Oh, like I incredible. So thank you,
Elizabeth, yeah, I'm really,really looking forward to seeing
where you move in the nextphase. So thank you for joining
us for two sessions, and all ofyou out there, thank you for
(46:23):
joining us, and we will see younext time. Bye. Farmwork's
Unknown (46:33):
calling our show is all done. Goodbye, farewell. So long
Adieu, see you next week, sametime, same place for Food,
Flowers and Fun. Go in peace.Visit
us@www.penlightfarmers.com.
Have you ever considered how much energy we
(00:02):
spend staying? We stay inrelationships, stay grounded,
stay positive. Find out howElizabeth Collins stays in the
second of our two-part episodeof Food, Flowers and Fun: Visits
with farm women from around theworld.
Unknown (00:28):
if you're the woman who does it all, farm work,
housework, book work, homework,getting up at the break of dawn.
This is the podcast for you. Howdo you apply? My friend? Do you
get away from the cares of theday? Restock, rootstock,
feedstock, seed stock. Chat withwomen around the world to raise
(00:51):
food flowers and fun with yourhost, kay Castrataro, that's me.
K Castrataro (01:00):
So welcome back to Food, Flowers and Fun
with farm women from around theworld. As always, we are
sponsored by Pen Light forFarmers, helping farmers create
more time, energy and abundance,and we have an exciting week,
because this is actually parttwo of our interview with
Elizabeth Collins from Oh, I'mgoing to say it wrong. Grace
(01:24):
acres, Graceful Acres, GracefulAcres Farmstay at Otter Creek
Farm. And last week, if youjoined us, you got her origin
story. And so this week, we'regoing to see okay with all of
this excitement that happened inher past and her journey with
food, and her deciding that herwhole life as she knew it was
(01:49):
not working for her anymore, andshe needed to move into this new
field of agriculture as anactual farmer, and not just a
farmer support person, not justSo those of you out there who
are farmer support people likeme, we're not just farmer
support people. We are importanttoo. But she wanted to move into
(02:09):
the farming aspect herself. Andso Elizabeth, we're going to let
you jump right in with the nextthe rest of the story. Isn't
that what they used to say?
Unknown (02:23):
Um, yeah, so I think we just left off, like, right
before I I had, didn't get thegoat farm right. So I was trying
to buy my own farm and do my ownthing. So I did a year of I
found an internship, and I wasvery specific about where I
went. I wanted to find a placethat had a farm stay. I wanted a
(02:43):
place that had a family. Eventhough I didn't have a family of
my own, I just, I really kind ofwanted to understand those farm
family dynamics. So I went toOneonta, New York, which is
about three hours from where Iwas living, and I spent eight
months, I like to say, in ametal box in the middle of the
field with no water andelectricity and all the farming
(03:04):
thing. So it was, yeah, veryrough. Okay,
K Castrataro (03:08):
talk about the metal box, all right. So, so
this is not, this does not soundlike a positive experience to
me, like I'm picturing metalbox, and I'm honestly, like,
picturing a tractor trailertruck body, and it's like hot,
and that, that's what I'mpicturing.
Unknown (03:26):
So it was an army. It was an Army thing. I don't even
know how to explain it. It was abox. It was not as big as a
tractor trailer thing. But youwere right. You were kind of,
kind of close. It just had awindow or two. Wow. Okay,
mattress on the floor, and yeah,no power, no electricity. So now
there was a communal bathroom.There was a bathroom and a
(03:49):
shower. I took a lot of swims, Ishould think, but, um, yeah, but
in a great way, like, right? Itcould be a, not a positive
experience, but it was a reallyamazing experience to realize
how little I needed, right? Iwas, yeah, we all like live, and
we have lots of conveniences andlots of things, and I didn't
(04:10):
need any of those things in mylife at that time, so, but by
winter time I did, I needed someinsulation and some heat. So I
was, yeah, I was ready. I wasprepared. But there I did. They
had, you know, it was actuallywhat I'm doing today is very
similar to what I witnessedthere, and that's why I went. I
wanted to understand the farmstay business. Like, who
(04:32):
actually comes to stay on afarm? How much money do they
spend? What do we do? What dothey do? How do you produce your
own food? So, again, like, yeah,that's kind of what I'm doing.
So, so I did that for a year. Sotalk to
K Castrataro (04:46):
me about what you were doing living at like, I'm
really, maybe I'm fixated on thewrong, the wrong element of this
story right now, but I am reallykind of fixated on the metal box
in the middle of the field withno power and electricity. And
I'm wondering, you're at a farmstay. I am. I'm going to go out
on a limb, and guess that theguests are not living in a metal
(05:08):
box as well, or
Unknown (05:10):
beautiful outfitter times two bedroom. Okay, all
right. They have water. They didnot have electricity, but they
did have plumbing, and they hadrunning water. Yeah. So what
K Castrataro (05:22):
was your role there? Like as, I mean, you're
interning. So, so what did theyhave you doing? Yeah,
Unknown (05:28):
a little bit of everything. I mean, I think it
was actually a hard thing forall of us to navigate, because I
wasn't a 20 year old, so Iwasn't going to just go along
and I had a little more I wantedto understand. I wanted to
understand the business. So,yeah, we kind of have had to
navigate. There were definitelysome of that part that we needed
to figure out. But for a littlewhile, I tried to help organize
(05:51):
business stuff, because of mybusiness background that felt
like it got a little toopersonal, or like a little and
either that or I was going toend up running their business.
And that's not why I was there.Like I wanted to see the
animals. They had someone livingthere that had been an intern
and was their quote, unquotefarm manager. So she was taking
(06:11):
care of the animals. I wasn'tdoing a whole lot. So I started
my own enterprise. I raised 70turkeys when I was there. I
built a turkey tractor, and Idon't know, went through that
whole process of building allthat and buying the turkeys and
raising the turkeys and doingthat so that I had my own
project, and then they had okaywith
K Castrataro (06:30):
that, huh? So did you get to keep the money that
you, like? That was your ownbusiness, like a side hustle?
Unknown (06:35):
Yeah, ultimately, it was going to be part of the
leaving. I was supposed to staytill November, but literally,
was freezing my keister off. Somade a deal with them that they
bought me out of the turkeys andthe tractor. So actually, I just
saw that farm owner last week ata agritourism conference, and
she was like, we still use ourturkey tractor. It's always
(06:56):
reminds me of you, and so theyown that now they bought the
turkeys from me and then soldthem because they were the ones
with the customer base anyway.So, so yeah, so they were okay
with it, and it made perfectsense. Like, even when I farmed
today, I'm like, if anyone hastheir own enterprise and they
want to run it here, absolutely,please. That's like, way better
(07:17):
than paying someone a paycheck.
K Castrataro (07:18):
So, oh, so that is that how that works? So they
didn't, I mean, so you were anunpaid intern, absolutely
unpaid. Oh, makes more sense.Yeah,
Unknown (07:31):
bad, really. Well, so, but, and I always tell people,
like, we just had an intern herethis last year, and she was 23
and we ended up paying herbecause I can't the days of free
internships are like gone. But Ieven before then, I had to
realize, on my own, myself, atthe time that I did it, that it
(07:52):
was an investment in myself,like, while I wasn't making any
money, I wasn't spending anymoney, I had zero cost other
than, I don't think I had a carpayment, so I had insurance and
a cell phone bill. And that's apowerful thing that, like, if
you have any money issues, youdo that year, and you're all
done. Money isn't a big deal anylonger. You just don't spend a
(08:13):
lot. If you have a money issue,you stop spending money. So
there was a, you know, I don'tnecessarily feel like I had a
lot. I just had a lot of fear ofnot making my like, Oh, my God,
I'm 40. Like, how can I go awhole year and not make money?
Well, you just don't spend anymoney. Or if I decided to go
back to school, I was going tospend a fortune. And so again,
it was an investment in myselfand very just part. Like, I
(08:36):
literally, that was, like, themost valuable year of my life,
as far as setting me up to runmy business and to make that
transition, yeah.
K Castrataro (08:45):
So I just, I really want to, like, highlight
what you're talking about, thatinvestment in yourself. Because
we, we often, especially asfarmers, I think, you know, we
look at the money and we'relike, we don't have enough. So
because we don't have enough, wecan't spend it on frivolous
(09:06):
things and coaching or trainingor, you know, even sometimes a
new piece of equipment. It seemslike it's frivolous because it's
going to cost us money. Andreally, oftentimes, those
investments really are thethings that change us. Because,
(09:26):
you know, equipment comes andgoes, Turkeys come and go, but
the farmer stays like the farmerhas to live with themselves all
the time. And if you arebuilding skills, and if you are
building confidence, and if youare building networks, those are
things that go with you whereveryou go. And, you know, I know a
(09:50):
lot of people are doing the, youknow, they take a millionaire
and they take all their moneyaway, and then they say, Okay,
you have a month to, you know,make a million dollars again.
And they do it. And they don'tdo it because they're relying on
their savings that are sittingin, you know, JP, Morgan
somewhere. They do it becausethey've invested so much in
(10:11):
themselves. They know what theyhave to do to be successful. And
I think that that's reallypowerful. I think as farmers, if
we could shift our mindset onthat a little bit. And I think
the farmers who have shifted areable to take risks that look
foolish to the outside world,but they're really aligned with
(10:33):
their core values, and sothey're able to make it work. So
yeah, thank you for bringingthat out. I think that's super,
super important, important,yeah, yeah. So, so when you you
invested in yourself, you gotout of the box, and then where
did you
Unknown (10:50):
go? Yeah? So, well, you know, and I had that moment of
like, I can go anywhere. And wemight have talked about this
earlier, so it was maybe thesecond time that I had that
feeling of like, Oh, my God. NowI've done that because I was
open. I was open to go there,and if it was amazing to, like,
look at property there or farmwith that, I don't I was just
open. And it was really clearthat that was not where I was
(11:11):
going to stay. So it kind ofleft me. I tried not to think
about that during the summer Iwas there, and tried to just be
very present and deal with thatlater. And but then it kind of
came down to figuring that out.And yes, it was like, go
wherever, or in some of this,this whole journey was like,
kind of finding my roots, Iguess. So I looked in, out the
(11:36):
door to wherever, and I was justlike, that is too overwhelming.
And that's not what I'm I'm not.I didn't feel like I was chasing
that. I felt like I was tryingto find my roots, but I probably
wasn't quite confident in that.So it was like, Alright, I moved
up to New York in 2014 I was inthis area of Saratoga, springs
and Cambridge, New York. I havea network of people, of friends,
(11:57):
like from all different walks,and I don't want to find a new
community that is my community,like Elizabeth, that's your
community. Figure it out. So andlived there was a woman who
actually, when I was doing theinternship, was choosing whether
to stay local and maybe dosomething with her, like
business, like start my glampingor my farm, stay there, but just
(12:21):
I felt like I needed more. Iwanted more experience. I wanted
an opportunity to learn and notdo so she was like, she actually
bought tents based on my ideaswhile I was away, and told me
how amazing it was. And I waslike, What the heck? So I
actually moved back to her farmbecause I just needed time. I
just kept buying time. Of like,I just need a roof and a bed.
K Castrataro (12:45):
You're this inspirational figure though,
like, they say, Man, I think itwould be really fun to do this
farm. Stay thing intense, and soI'm gonna go learn about it and
and then this person's like,wow, that's a genius idea. I'm
gonna do that.
Unknown (13:01):
So thank goodness. Like all like I have the the thought
process of, like, all the tiderises, like we all rise, versus,
you know, I'm sure I had atwinge at first of like, Oh my
gosh. But she, when she told meabout it while I was away, she
was very lovely about it andgave me credit for the idea. And
just so it was a niceopportunity to go there and kind
(13:22):
of help her out. She because shewas working full time. So So
again, I kind of went to thatpath, and I just, I've worked
for myself my whole life, and Ijust need to stop ever thinking
that I can work for someone forit was my idea, and I wanted to
do it myself. So that justbecame clear and apparent, and
then it was like, Where do I gofrom there? And I had another
(13:46):
God moment of you that's aboutfarming with a partner and how
that all happened. And there hadbeen a family that had been in
my life for years, and actually,I met them through my ex
husband. So it's kind of a crazystory. And I, I'll, I'll stay
fairly surface on all of it. I'mjust the sense of, sometimes
things are in your life and youhave no idea. Like, I was
(14:07):
married, he was married. Iactually knew his parents. So he
wasn't even on the there waslike, there was no US, there was
no
K Castrataro (14:14):
yeah, there was no connection between the two of
this other, like, kind of asatellite way over there that
was not related to you,
Unknown (14:23):
Yep, exactly. And so it was parents. And again,
exploring my roots. I realizedwhen I moved up here, I moved
away from my family, and sothese people were, like, my
grandparents, and they were myfamily. And when I was married,
I was like, wanting to come outto the farm and bring lunch to
them and visit. And I was doingthat on a monthly basis, and I
did it while I did myinternship, because I was just
like, because I was just like,this is the only family I have
(14:45):
here, and I'm not going to letthem go. Just because I got
divorced doesn't mean I'm goingto let them go. Kept them in my
life. And yeah, and kind of got,like, to the point that I was
like, really trying to figureout what my next steps were. And
I had another I literally hadthis moment like. He so their
son had was going through adivorce as well, and I'd been
divorced at this point, and whenI was thinking about my next
(15:08):
steps and farming, I had thisweird, crazy moment of like,
these are my in laws, thesegrandparents of mine, these
people that are my family, thatare my how I see them as my
grandparents, like, that's how Irelate to them, like they're
actually my in laws. And I waslike, Whoa, that's crazy. Like,
(15:29):
because this farm has been in mylife, and like, it made me stop
looking and I didn't really havethe clear path of how all that
was going to work out, but weworked it out, and kind of in a
crazy like, do you want to comefarm with me? Like, asking me
that, and it's like, Oh, I do,kind of, and here we are. So,
K Castrataro (15:50):
so Not, not. Do you want to come date me? Not?
Do you want to marry me? It'sfarm with me. Yeah.
Unknown (15:57):
So we're not married. We're not we're farming
together. I mean we, we are in arelationship, but it's we're
farming each other, and that'swhat we're doing. And, yeah, so,
and yeah, fast forward to today,and it's like, holy crap. What
happened so and that there's alot packed into there. Because
sometimes I hate I don't wedon't need to go the details. I
(16:18):
just sometimes when I talk aboutthis, it's all amazing. It does
not mean it was easy, hard, lotsof transition, and all this,
this whole story, lots oftransition. But, yeah, it is the
transition that got us to wherewe are, and got me to a point
of, and, you know, and it'sfunny, it's, I think, those
things in life, of it's kind ofwhen I actually stopped looking
(16:39):
or stopped worrying about that,like a partner or anything, it
was like, I had to just move on.And as soon as I let that
thought process out the door,it's like, poof, right there.
And I was like, Oh man, yeah.
K Castrataro (16:54):
Well, and that's, you know, there is that side as
well, because on the one hand,it's like, Okay, I've been been
worried about this thing. It'sdone. I'm done. And then this
person shows up, and you'relike, crap. I had just gotten
through all of this, and thenyou've got to navigate it from a
(17:16):
whole different realm. So, youknow, because I found it
interesting that you had gone tothe the farm stay. I'm just at
that farm stay just is like themetal box farm stay now, so, you
know, you went to the metal boxpartially defined, like that
whole like, see how the familydynamics work on a farm, which,
(17:36):
let's talk about that for aminute. Because, like, you want
to talk about the thing thatnobody wants to talk about.
Family dynamics on farms can bereally, really complicated, and
they can be fabulous and theycan be awful. And so I'm
curious, what did you see in thefarm, farm family that you
(18:02):
stayed with, it sounds like someof the business stuff and how
that related that that soundedlike there was maybe a little
bit of tension and conflictthere, but also how, how did you
navigate all of this farm familystuff in your current situation?
Because you started out aspartners, but you already had,
like this thought of your inlaws as in laws, and so that's
(18:27):
already a shift going on. Sotalk to me about that.
Unknown (18:32):
Yeah, it's a lot. So I mean, I think this far the
family that I stayed with, Imean, they had kids, so I always
say what I saw was beautiful andugly all at the same time. Like,
first of all, I learned so muchabout, like, having children,
like raising them on a farm,having having a kid at home.
(18:56):
Like, I didn't know you couldhave a baby at home. Like I
didn't have kids because, like,a hospital and a minivan and
soccer practice and McDonald'sdid not align with me, like, at
all, yeah, or public school,like, none of that did I like, I
did not like those things in myown so to, like, bring a kid in
(19:16):
the world and, like, tote themdown the same path just didn't
align with me. So it was sobeautiful to see this other way.
And, you know, like, so thiscouple had actually built a
house and started this farm onher in laws farm. So, like,
there was that dynamic
K Castrataro (19:35):
where that's always interesting, yes, was,
like, messy,
Unknown (19:39):
blurry, helpful and not helpful all the same time. Like
her, her father in law, helpedme build the turkey tractor.
Like, yeah, just so yeah. Butthey had their own internal
things that they were dealingwith, yeah, within the family.
Like, actually, I would say,like, the couple that I worked
for, they were my age. So, butthey had been married for 20
(20:01):
years, and, you know, they hadtheir own internal conflicts.
And I actually, I actually see,I was able to share this with
the farmer when I saw her lastweek of I see some of my own
relationship issues differently,but similar. It's just really
hard to work with your partner.It's really, really hard. And
it's really, really hard to workwith an independent male partner
(20:25):
who has only worked for men hiswhole life, and he's a genuine
farmer. There's so much packedinto there. Let's talk
K Castrataro (20:31):
about those gender dynamics we you know? I mean,
mostly we're women here on food,flowers and fun. The men who
come to us are very broad mindedmen, and I love them. I love
them for their broad mindedness.But gender, gender stuff is real
(20:51):
as much as we want to say itisn't, and we all have, like,
our own ways of dealing withthings. So So yeah, let's, let's
discuss how you keep thatrelationship going. Because I
think this is, this is not, thisis not an atypical conversation
and so, and, you know,communication is one of my key
pillars, because I feel like thecommunication skills within a
(21:14):
family, within the partners,because oftentimes you're you're
partnering with people thatyou're not family with. They
aren't really challenging, andthey will make or break your
business, and they will make orbreak your your personal well
being. So, so yeah, what did youWhat did you see and learn? And
how are you applying that? Andwhat are you doing differently?
Unknown (21:35):
And, yeah, so I don't, I had no idea I was learning
anything while I was there. Asfar as far as the relation, I
was just like, I don't wantthat. And here I am living it.
So it's really funny. So whatI've learned now, because, and
I'll just keep so he like, soI'm with a partner. It's his
(21:58):
family's farm. He's the fifth.He has been married twice
before, and he has two sets ofkids from two other women. So
let, let's just like, there's noway that that can be smooth. But
we're I, but I think we've doneokay, honestly, like,
considering those are thecircumstances, and the kids have
(22:18):
been as amazing as they possiblycan through the situation. So,
yeah, because
K Castrataro (22:22):
that's not easy. That's none of that's easy on
the kids. Like, no, as adivorcee with two kids, like,
and I don't have anotherpartner, but my ex does. So,
like, I totally, totally getthat to add two sets. I know
people in that situation, and itreally is tricky.
Unknown (22:40):
Yeah, so that is a whole nother topic on its own.
But so then between he and I,this year is a very pivotal year
for us in that sense of ourrelationship, because it you're
100% right. I think it can makeor break it. And in it, like,
(23:01):
and he always we when we talkabout this stuff, like there's
really no way to separate yourpersonal life from your farm
life. It's not like any otherbusiness. You don't stop at five
o'clock. You can't have youroffice, and you shut the door,
and now you're in your personalmode, like it is just messy and
blurry. And then you have thesegenerational dynamics, and you
and you have, and I can actuallyrelate with this a little bit
(23:25):
for him, of he has never workedoff the farm until now, so he
has never had, like speaking ofcommunication, or, I don't want
to say social skills, butworking with Another person, not
that, not family. We learn a lotfrom that. We're challenged. I'm
challenged. I work. This is whyI work for myself, right? I have
(23:47):
those own i i share similarthings with him, and because
it's hard working
K Castrataro (23:52):
with people, people are hard, like, I love
them. Yeah, I love people, or Iwouldn't be doing what I do,
but, but people hard and they'retricky and they're complicated
and they're messy, and so, yeah,yeah. And if you haven't learned
those skills, like they reallyare communication skills. I
remember I was working workingwith one client, and we talked
(24:14):
about some communication stuff,and they looked at me and they
said, Wow, if we had learnedthis when we were 20? No, yeah,
they were like 70. If we hadlearned this at 20, how
different would our life hadbeen? And probably a lot
different. But it wasn't evenlike communication just wasn't a
thing. You just shut your mouthand did what you were told, or
(24:36):
you fought and you separated,
Unknown (24:38):
and that's and I tried it. This is what I even tell
myself, but I would tell anyonein this of like it wasn't there
for us or it wasn't there forthem, and like you've gotta let
that go, and you just have to belike it's here for us right now.
So that 70 year old, that iswhen she is to deal with it, my
48 year old self, that's nowwhen I deal with it, like I.
(25:00):
Keep reminding myself there'snothing wrong with this. A hard
thing to say, because I want topull my hair out sometimes,
right? And because I'm tryingand, you know, I just I know how
to run a business. I feel like Ihave good communication skills.
I feel like I've done a lot ofpersonal growth, and as you
(25:21):
explained about me earlier, thatI'm becoming I always be on that
path. I have a partner who isvery, very, very comfortable
being 150 years old, like welive out of the past, but I love
that about him, like that keepsme planted. That I remember
saying to me early on, like, youjust need a pot to be planted
(25:42):
in. Like, oh my God. And he gaveme the pot. Like, right? Like,
my, my life is here, yeah, sothat that is a really important
piece, because otherwise I'd beout the door. It's so hard, so
freaking hard, I would be gone.And I don't want to be gone, not
ready to be gone, so I just haveto figure it out. And so we're
(26:06):
so what I've we actually, sowinter time is when we, you
know, come back together, like,okay, how'd the year go? And I'm
into this way more than he is,but he does sit down and appease
me, and we have theseconversations. And I actually
think, for the first time. Ihope that he'll be able to sit
down this year with a littlemore of his own presence, like
he's never had choices in hislife, like this was just given
(26:30):
to him. This is what he wasexpected to do. So when we talk
about dreaming, or all any ofthis, like, and I'm going to say
girly stuff, because, quitefrankly, I think we have it in
our nature more to dream and togo for it, and we have the
possibility to do that more sowe well, we have to,
K Castrataro (26:48):
we have to be dreamers. Because we're
nurturing. We're as as a mom,you're nurturing the next
generation, and as you weresaying about not wanting to
bring a child into the settingthat you're seeing when you when
you grow a child in your body,and then you give life to them,
(27:08):
and you say, Okay, what is yourlife going to be if you're not a
dreamer, you're not going towant any of you to be alive,
because you're going to be like,Wow, this is way too hard,
especially, you know, we've allhad hard stuff happen, so you've
got to almost have that sense ofpossibility and hope that it's
(27:32):
going to be better for them. AndI can help that happen. And so I
think shivers like I feel likethere is a sense of that. I I
also do think it's a skill thatwe can learn, which I love
teaching people, because I I seethat that the sense of
possibility gets drowned out bythe everyday drudgery, and that
(27:53):
we can shift that for ourselvesand discover something new. But
anyway, so you're it sounds likemaybe he's moving into, like, a
little bit of possibilitythinking, or
Unknown (28:07):
like minuscule but that's better than not, and I
only because I want him, and Isay that so like, what's
happening for me is I think Iwanted more for him than he
wants for himself, right? Or Isee his potential more than he
sees that's not good. It seemsgreat like it seems like the
right thing, because you're likeRobert, you're like the
(28:28):
cheerleader, but not when thatmakes him feel bad, right?
Feeling like he's not enough. SoI really like this year, I
realized all of a sudden I saw,see so much more potential for
this farm. That is not mine,right? I don't own it. It's not
my kids. It's going to it's notany I don't have anything to do
(28:50):
with it, except for the presentmoment. Like I look at how I
leave this land. Is my legacyhere. That's it. And I had this
big push because he was, like,the dairy got sold his dairy
cows. So it was basically hisfarm went defunct in 2018 when
we met. So I like, and he wasgetting divorced, so he had all
(29:12):
this crap on his back. And Ijust, like, kind of took the
bull by the horns. Was like,Okay, well, we gotta pay the
bills. So like, how are we goingto do this? So for the last six
years, that's what we've beendoing, is like, kind of turning
the ship around. And I, I don'tknow, because he was kind of
dealing with his stuff, and eventhough he'd sit down at the
(29:34):
table with me every winter andsay, This is what sounds like a
great plan, that's what we'lldo. I'm looking at it like he
hasn't told me this, but I knowit like I was, like, seeing
something bigger than he sees,and I've got to let that go. So
like, this year is going to bebecause of those communication
issues, like he doesn't want tolearn the skills, and that has
(29:55):
to be okay, or I leave right,like I. I changed something
else, like, so I had to, like toexplore, like, what if I'm not?
If I don't want to leave thisrelationship and I want to keep
farming and I love this person,what can shift? Well, the
business is going to have toshift. I've got to take that
pressure off of us for him toshow up as the CEO of his farm.
(30:20):
He's not a CEO, and he can, wecan say those words. Sometimes
that's a challenge. Sometimesthat makes him feel bad, but
when we get down to the root ofthat conversation, he's totally
fine with that. And it's like,great, let us just be okay with
that. I don't mind being CEO orwhatever. We just need to
(30:41):
navigate that. And guess what? Ihave my own business here. I
want to spend more time there,and I don't want to worry about
the future of the farm, yeah,beyond my life, because it's not
That's not mine. So just reallyhaving to explore, like, what's
my business and what's not mybusiness? Not in tech, nope.
K Castrataro (31:01):
You're like, your circle, my therapist, use the my
circle, your circle. Like, thereare things that there are things
that I'm responsible for, andthose are in my circle, and then
there are things that I mightwant to see for other people,
but that's not my circle. Like,you know, a really simple
example is when my kids wereyoung and still now, but when my
(31:22):
kids were young, we used to, youknow, go to the grocery store
and they would throw God, awfultemper tantrums, and I would
just look at them and I'd belike, the only person you're
embarrassing right now isyourself, because I'm not
screaming like a banshee In themiddle of the grocery store, and
I frankly, don't care if allthose people out there are going
(31:45):
to look at me and be like, she'sa bad mom. She can't control
their kids. And I'm like, Thisis not my problem. I have taught
them how to behave. If they'rechoosing not to behave in that
way, that's their choice. But Ineed to grocery shop, and I'm
not letting them think that weleave the grocery store because
they're throwing a tempertantrum.
Unknown (32:06):
I think I'm going to take this advice into the next
day we go work together.
K Castrataro (32:12):
It's really but that takes, yeah, that takes so
much practice, like, especiallyas women, right? Because there
is this cultural thing. I don'tknow if you experienced it
growing up, but I sure did thatthere was this understanding
that somehow, if there wassomething wrong in the world,
had to be my fault, like MountSt Helens exploded when I was a
(32:36):
kid. That had to have been myfault. I don't know what I did,
but I must have done somethingto make Mount St Helens exploit.
Well, that's the most ridiculousthing in the world, but we do
have this sense that we'resomehow responsible for
everybody else's stuff, butwe're not ever taught to be
responsible for our own and sowe're not able to say, okay, my
(33:01):
partner is not a greatcommunicator. There is a depth
to our communication that Ireally want, and it ain't gonna
happen. So I can feel guiltyabout that and be like, Well,
what's wrong with me? I must notbe the right partner. Or I can
look at it and say, okay, he hasto take responsibility for his
(33:22):
communication skills. If I'mlearning mine and I'm growing,
I'm doing what I need to do. Andthen, like you said, can I be
secure in who I am and let himbe who he is, or can I not? And
depending on where you come downon that. I mean, there are, you
know, many different ways tomake that function or not
(33:46):
function. So yeah, I find thatto be super, super powerful,
super important, and alsoreally, really hard to do,
especially when the person thatyou're doing that with doesn't
have that same awareness.Because then you're like,
tempted to do all the emotionalawareness for everybody, and you
have to just sometimes let themsuffer like and, and I don't
(34:07):
mean that in a punitive way, butnot learning these skills hurts
you like it makes you suffer.Your life is harder because you
don't learn these skills. Andagain. Like the kid, you know,
you could be happy and you couldget a treat at the end of this,
or you can throw a tempertantrum and have your mom put
(34:29):
you to bed when we get home. Notmy problem.
Unknown (34:32):
Like, yeah, it's a really hard, hard, hard thing.
And, uh, yeah. I mean, I guess Ihad a sense of relief this year,
of like, kind of realizing thatfinally, and like, letting that
go and acceptance, right andnow, just when we go back to the
(34:54):
drawing board this winter, justnavigating the businesses like
now, the true businesses, theeconomics of our. Life a little
bit differently. And, you know,my farm stay is my own personal
business that I do here. I mean,he helps me to certain extent,
but it's my LLC, and it's mysource of income, and it's been
the last thing like, we had tohave a thriving farm. We had to
(35:15):
have a farm that could pay itsbills in order to have the farm
stay.
K Castrataro (35:18):
Yeah, have a farm stay without a farm. And this
Unknown (35:22):
is like, even what I just told you earlier about,
like the timing, like I when Iacknowledge this is like, now is
the time it was not meant for usto have this conversation, or
for me to have this thoughtprocess prior to this. Like,
these are not regretfulthoughts. These are like, Oh, I
had to run the I had to get thefarm up and running in order to
(35:46):
do the farm stay. The farm stayhad to be the third priority,
number three throughout all ofit. Now I get to transition and
make that my first priority,because the bills are paid right
now. Like, I don't know what'sgoing to happen when we
physically can't do what we'redoing or whatever, but we'll
have to deal with that. Like,that's not my personality.
(36:08):
That's so hard, yeah, sofreaking hard for me. But this,
and honestly, so this wholejourney as we that you've heard
is like, it's a spiritualjourney for me too. So it's a
practice in faith right now. OfI was definitely led where I am,
and I have to let it go. I haveto let I have to know that my
(36:29):
future is taken care of, and Idon't need to know what it looks
K Castrataro (36:33):
like. No, yeah, yeah. So how do you how do you
keep that grounding when you'rein that, um, what kind of
practices do you
Unknown (36:47):
have? I've been really looking, I It's been hard for me
because I don't not a churchgoer, and I haven't quite found
the right like the right thing,but I've been looking for
community recently, so I'veprobably been, like the last
year, trying to figure out,navigate this. I still don't
(37:09):
have an answer. I just did awisdom school. I'm doing. I'm
actually in the middle of awisdom school through Cynthia
bergel online, thing that shedid in person, but she teaches
it anyways. It's been amazing,and it's making me realize that
(37:29):
the more I practice, like,because I have a tendency to be
busy during the summer and notdo a lot, and just like, I mean,
I talk to the trees and to thegrass and all this stuff, so
like, I'm constantly connected,and I feel like every day, I
find a way to find gratitude andto find connection to something
bigger. But there's something indepth about learning deeper or
(37:54):
practicing or practicing incommunity and like, so I like
this last year, I was actuallyreally good. I made sure
quarterly I went to Kripalu,which is a yoga Education
Center. Yeah, even in this deadof summer, I just took a day and
just did a day trip and hadsomeone else cook for me. And
yeah, and quiet, like quietdoesn't happen easily for me in
(38:18):
the summer. So a little bitabout of that, but it's still
very solo practice. So even ifI'm reading something in the
mornings, like right now, I'mstruggling with this wisdom.
School has been great andblowing me my mind with these
lectures, and we're doing somegroup zoom calls, but like, it's
asking for, like, 30 minutes aday of a practice. I'm
(38:39):
struggling. I can't as much as Iknow I need it, I know I want it
like, does not feel sustainablefor me. And so I'm like, That's
my mental challenge right now,because it's mental it's like,
yeah, I commit to so many otherthings, and what, what is my
commitment problem?
K Castrataro (38:57):
So I'm just going to throw this out there. And
this is not like I am. I am not.I am not a therapist, and I do
not play one on TV, but I havedone a whole lot of self stuff,
and so for me, I find because Iam a very strong Christian, and
my faith is like my essence,like that is by far the center
(39:21):
it is not the way it gets playedout right now in our community.
I will say that like I do feellike I use the word Christian
very scarily, because I'm like,I don't align with a lot of what
is being done in the name ofJesus.
Unknown (39:38):
That I'm doing is Christian mysticism. Like, yes,
K Castrataro (39:42):
well, you know, and I'm finding, I am. I've
found through the years that Ihave a lot of that mystic sense
sensibility, maybe, which I didnot think, because I was not
raised in a mystic gold kind ofculture. It's kind of more like
the Roman Catholic. Mysticismthing that I'm like, oh, there's
(40:02):
something really interestingabout that. Again, not a Roman
Catholic, but there's, you know,we can learn from each other if
we have a little bit ofopenness. But anyway, all that
to say, what I notice is thatthe times that I start resisting
reading my Bible, resistjournaling and praying. It's
(40:23):
usually because there'ssomething really big that's
bothering me that I'm afraid tolook at and and that for me,
like journaling, especiallyprayer, is scripture is so
illuminating. It's, it really islike the the light shining in
(40:43):
the darkness. And so you cannothide from stuff when you're in
that place. And if you'retalking about, you know wisdom.
Wisdom is enlightenment. It'struth, it's, it's the light
shining. And so again, like nowmy my brain is tingling. There's
(41:04):
some kind of connection going onhere, but, um, so just to throw
that out there and and I willsay that one thing I do when I'm
in that situation, because itdoes, I'm like, I want to be in
this practice and thisrelationship. It's not just
practice for me. It's definitelya relationship with God. So I
want that, and I'm afraid of it.So what am I going to do? So I
(41:27):
end up using, like, this artingprocess where I write an
intention down, and it can bejust like I want to figure out
what's keeping me from spendingtime doing my practice, you
know, whatever, put the date onthere, and then quiet your mind
and just kind of think aboutthat until you see an image, and
(41:50):
then art it like you can drawit, you can paint it, you can
I'm out. I've got it all right.I have an arting thing here.
This is my arting. This is whatwas my purpose on earth. Notice
it's done on a paper bag, youknow, because doesn't everybody
art on a paper bag. But anyway,but what I've found about that,
(42:11):
and then you can talk to thepainting, but what I found about
that is that that process takesthe emotion and it diffuses it
so that then I'm able to go anddo something. So I just, like,
totally coached you. Thank you.I apologize because this is not
a, like, online coachingsession, but I totally find that
(42:32):
helpful. And I'm not an artist,like, as you can tell, art is
not my thing, but arting isn'tabout art it's a journaling
process, right? Exactly. So,yeah, so it would be interesting
to see if that, if that worksfor you, every time I talk about
journaling or arting with mysister, she's like, Yeah, I
(42:53):
don't do that. I'm like, I thinkyou would. I think you would
benefit from it. She's like, No,no, I wouldn't. I'm like, Okay,
again, we're all different. Welet each other have their space.
Oh my gosh, Elizabeth, I havejust loved having these two
sessions with you. You areamazing. And I think that, like,
(43:17):
there is so much, like, I lovejust watching your journey and
hearing about it, and then, youknow, having that sense of
anticipation for for what's tocome. So I know I asked you this
last time, but I'm going to askyou again, because I don't know
how to close out my episodes anyother way. So if you had a
second most important thing thatevery farmer should know, what
(43:40):
would that be like? Maybe justany takeaway like, what is, what
is the takeaway that as as we'velooked back on this whole
journey, you know, what is thetakeaway that you have?
Unknown (43:53):
Yeah, I guess, I mean, I guess staying true to
yourself, because I, and I, youknow, you probably want it
simple, but staying true toyourself, in the sense of
everything that you've heardfrom me over the last two
episodes have been like this, upand down and journey, and we
really haven't even, like, wedidn't talk across the surface,
(44:14):
amazing stuff that's going on inmy life right now. But it was
all amazing, I guess, right,like, so, so, yeah, and, and
when you are true to yourself,you can say it was all amazing,
right? Like, because it wasimportant. All the parts were
important and led me to where Iam, but it's I'm not at the
(44:36):
destination, right? Like, I'mbecoming, so, yeah, just staying
in alignment. And when you'renot in alignment, do wisdom
school, I don't know, like,right?
K Castrataro (44:49):
I agree. Like, it suffers. You suffer. And this
is, this is the core of of whatI believe is that you know, if
you're, if you're not followingwho you are designed to be. You
will you will suffer more, yeah,and then just difficult
circumstances, because we allhave difficult
Unknown (45:05):
circumstances. Absolutely, yep. And it's not
even like I was doing thiswisdom school, and I'm in this
point right now, not necessarilybecause I was feeling suffering.
I just because I don't sharethis with my partner. I It's,
that's my joys, but like, that'sright, like, that's the
relationship you want to keepwith God. Like, that's I want
(45:25):
to, I want to have fun with it.I want to, like, I want, like,
right? If I can't share that joywith him, I gotta find someone,
or I've gotta do it with God. Ifthat is all it is, that's fine,
yeah, and whatever. So, like,that's true to myself. So it's
like, it's not even this time itwasn't suffering. I've gotten a
(45:47):
little bit wiser. I'm not goingto wait till I'm suffering, not
that I won't, or I'm not in myown way. But they all really,
actually about, like, I justwant to really celebrate how
freaking awesome all this is,including the dirty stuff. Yeah.
K Castrataro (46:00):
Oh, like I incredible. So thank you,
Elizabeth, yeah, I'm really,really looking forward to seeing
where you move in the nextphase. So thank you for joining
us for two sessions, and all ofyou out there, thank you for
(46:23):
joining us, and we will see younext time. Bye. Farmwork's
Unknown (46:33):
calling our show is all done. Goodbye, farewell. So long
Adieu, see you next week, sametime, same place for Food,
Flowers and Fun. Go in peace.Visit
us@www.penlightfarmers.com.
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