August 15, 2025 • 62 mins
Talent shows like the Voice or Idol can be a great opportunity for singers to gain experience and exposure! That’s why I myself auditioned for 2 shows when I was a teenager as well. My dad joined me in this episode to talk about my experiences - the good, the bad and the ugly - and we discussed some talent show stories from Reddit from parents asking for advice for their kid’s talent show.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
our daughter Alison
(00:01):
is an aspiring singer
and has been taking voice lessons for the past year
one night
my wife saw they had a karaoke night
and asked Alison if she wanted to try
she said yes
and she chose Dreams by Fleetwood Mac
one of the songs she studied with her teacher
instead of our advice to leave it all on the stage
she instead
(00:22):
clamped up and mumbled her way through the song
nothing like what she can do
I was really disappointed in her
that she decided to take the cowardly route
that's a very strong word
and backed out of giving a full performance
next morning things were kind of tense in the air
she had to go stand on our room's balcony
and sing a song facing away from us
(00:44):
facing the ocean
so later
we found out that the cruise also hosts a talent show
so we recommended it for Alison to try it again
this time an opera song
she said yes but I want to make sure I'm not the a hole
they are really the parents unbelievable
aren't they oh my god
if she wants to sing and she goes on stage
(01:04):
and then is nervous and can't perform
I mean you are not like putting pressure on her
Hey Vox Star
and welcome to from singer to artist
I'm Lara Chapman award winning singer and songwriter
(01:25):
turned viral vocal coach and the host of this show
at VoxTape Studios we
help singers from all over the world
level up their voices
by teaching them the three fundamental skills
all singers need technique
awareness and artistry whether you're looking to go pro
or just develop your voice for fun
my team and I are here to help
check the link in the description
(01:45):
to book your first session
or grab some of our other resources
Alrighty are you ready
let's get started welcome to to my parents living room
I have boppy Christian Mueller here with me today
hello dad hi Lara
hi Lara how are you
oh I'm perfectly fine
when you're coming home I know once in a while
I know it's been a while it's been
(02:07):
I think over six months since I was home
last Christmas Christmas yeah
it's quite a long time ago
unfortunately we met in India actually yeah
in April yeah
in spring so but it's a long time
it's a long time and we miss you of course
oh I miss you too
and that's why I came yeah
and then I'll be back in just a couple weeks again
(02:28):
cause my brother's expecting another baby
so excited to meet the little baby um
but that's still a couple weeks away
but uh today we are here in Blumenstein
or as we like to call it as well flowerstone
cause that literally is the name of our town
just translated from German into English Flowerstone
(02:50):
and I grew up in this house
I spent my entire life here
literally from birth I mean
I was born in the hospital
but after that from birth till 18
till I moved to New York exactly exactly
so that's the only home you have had
yeah before you move to the US yeah
and and we are still here
I mean it's what
how many years later 30 years yeah
(03:11):
yeah you're still here 30 years later
30 years later we are still here
we still love it it's still our place to be here
and um yeah
we have no intention at all to move out of this house
and um
hopefully we can give it to our kids one day
oh you keep it
you stay alive forever so you keep it hahaha
but no uh
(03:32):
what I wanted to talk to you today about
is talent shows
because you and I have had some experience together
as far as talent shows goes
uh where you drove me to Germany
you helped me prepare for other talent shows as well
and so I was like oh
perfect because we're in Switzerland
and all these talent shows happened here
(03:53):
I don't think I participated in any talent shows
when I was abroad
no I just contests like songwriting contests
but not like singing talent shows
and so what we have today for you
is discussing our experience as
you know as the contestant
myself and for my dad your experience
you know supporting your kid through contests
(04:15):
singing contests
as well as
we'll look at some stories from other parents
sharing their experience with their kids
and their talent show experiences
and when it was not so great
and maybe you have some advice
from a parent's point of view
what they could have done better
but do you remember the first talent show
(04:36):
that I participated in absolutely
I think you were still in school huh
yeah I don't know which grade it was huh
I think I was 12 I remember being 12
12 OK
yeah I remember that very well
huh and with 12
um girls are dreaming huh
yeah hahaha
very much so of course
(04:57):
they're dreaming to become pop stars one day
and um
I mean if it would have been for you only
I don't think we would have made that trip to Germany
OK frankly yeah
I think you were like three from your class at the time
yeah
uh one boy and two girls huh
and um
so together with actually my dad huh
(05:18):
yes your grandfather
we made it a kind of a family trip to Germany huh
early in the morning out
and then in the evening back home
so it was not too far of a drive
so that was all manageable huh
and I mean it was a fun trip huh
it was I think it was a loud trip in the car
(05:39):
yeah in the car
a lots of singing and a lots of bragging and of course
having fun I'm sure
I'm sure
did we already do a lot of singing driving there or
yeah yeah
yeah you did
of course you did um
singing on the way there and of course
you started talking about the next step already
before you even qualified
(06:00):
I mean that's spoiler alert
there was never a second step hahaha
we never made it any of us
no any of you made it
and I think it was um
I mean for me
it was the first time I have seen anything like that
huh I mean
with your brother we went to card races all the time
(06:21):
every weekend
and I was very familiar with the whole racing scene
and everything and then of course
for me and for also my uh
father it was like giving something to you
hmm because we did so much for your brother
so we would wanted to do something for you as well
and like fulfill your dream
(06:41):
and the most important thing we did
I tried to do at least on that trip in the car was um
expectation management huh
oh expectation management
what did you do what did you tell us
because I mean
of course girls have big dreams huh
and they're flying very very high huh
(07:03):
and in the car you were all like
up here huh
I'm sorry I mean
ha ha and so we try to do some expectation management
and prepare you for like the
the time when the judges are coming out and tell you
out out
out out out huh
yeah which is most likely to happen anyway
because you were like really
(07:26):
I think you were just the first age group
which was able to go to that contest
oh really
yeah it's possible yeah
yeah yeah
the smaller ones were not even allowed
are the younger ones and so
we tried to manage your expectations and prepare you
for the time in the afternoon
(07:46):
when the church is coming out
and that was like our main job during that drive
of course also entertain you and fortunately we didn't
we didn't sing with you
it's a it can be pretty harsh for twelve
uh year old kids huh
when they like dreaming high
(08:07):
and then the dream just plop
it's just gone huh
yeah when the judge says out huh
yeah so that was more the job we have had there
yeah and I mean
we or me as a father and even my father
we had like no expectations at all huh
yeah I mean
it was we know this is like a not impossible
(08:30):
but kind of impossible very unlikely yeah
yeah very
very unlikely cause it was so it the
the show was called the super talent
uh for Germany
the super talent literally very easy translation
and uh it was an open call
meaning you did not have to send in a
video before or anything
(08:51):
like you just filled out a piece of paper
did we pay I'm sure we have paid
because that's like their business model huh
have as many kids as possible there
yeah um
auditioning like 20 bucks
like it would have been something really cheap yeah
it was cheap and um
but of course it's part of the business model huh
(09:12):
yeah of the show as well
I honestly don't remember that
so don't quote us on this
but we just basically filled out a piece of paper
maybe we paid a little bit of an entry fee
and then we just drove to Germany
got there in the morning and just waited around like
and in my brain I was like
oh yeah we're gonna see you know
the celebrity um judges that you have on these shows
(09:34):
that's not how that works
you just go to a huge building
where they have a big waiting room
I remember the big waiting room
and then they would have have you put like
they would put you into groups essentially
and then they would take the group
like to the elevator and to some room where
one after each other
(09:54):
we went into the room and we sang our stuff for people
nobody knows the
not the famous judges that you see on TV
those are just
people that apparently have something to do with music
otherwise they probably wouldn't be there
but I definitely didn't know them
my friends didn't know didn't know them
(10:15):
and we would sing for them
and then we would go back into the waiting room
and wait for for some like hours
hours we were waiting for hours before we were singing
we were waiting and after we were singing
we were waiting and uh
I remember like in the room I was like
man like they're not even really looking at me
they don't really care that much
(10:38):
and I already knew after that I was like
oh I I don't have a good feeling about this
and I also saw that
when they found someone that they really liked
they would pretty much immediately
take them to the next round already
and they didn't do that with any of us
like all three of us that didn't happen
(10:58):
and so we were waiting and waiting and waiting
and I remember contemplating
together with you and grandpa as well like
do we just leave
because we still have to drive home to Switzerland
like
should we just go because it's probably not happening
but we I think we did end up sticking around
and then they were like
you you you you and you stay everybody else can leave
(11:21):
I remember exactly yeah exactly
we were waiting I mean
we discussed it
I was convinced that it was out because all of you guys
you came out of this room huh
and you said oh
I only had like 20 seconds of singing
or 30 seconds of singing yeah
they they didn't even listen to me really huh
(11:42):
yeah it was just poof poof poof
like one after the other getting in
getting out getting in
getting out I mean yeah
it very much feels like a factory right
like I just I just have to listen to all these people
I don't wanna really be here and listen to them
but they all you know
got like came here paid an entry fee maybe
maybe not and um
(12:03):
and now we have to listen to these people
but it's very much like they know
within the first second of you opening your mouth
whether you're gonna be it or not
whether you fit the mold they are looking for
and all that stuff and so no
it was like
I mean it was a business there for them
just pushing people through
and I I don't remember how many there were
(12:25):
but it was hundreds and hundreds of kids
oh yeah
it was a big school complex
and I mean they used all the classrooms and everything
oh was it a school
yeah that's what it was
a school complex
it was a huge school complex where they hold this um
audition if you can call it audition huh
this selection process yeah
(12:47):
because that was it more than anything else huh
I mean you did not even have a chance to like
really sing in my no
point of view huh
in my point of view I mean
in 20 seconds you can't really show what you can huh
no but a lot of times it's like alright
that's all I need if you can't deliver it in 20 seconds
(13:07):
bye and you see that a lot in musical theater auditions
where you get a 16 bar cut
or maybe even just an eight bar cut
and that is literally like 15 seconds
and that's all the time you get
and from there on out
they decide if they wanna see you again or not
it's very common that you just get a couple seconds
and that's it so
it's important that you pick the right song
(13:28):
and the right part of a song
that showcases what you can do
um I was singing a Leona Lewis song
I think I was singing run I Wanna Run
something like that I think it was that
or maybe it was footprints in the sand
I don't remember but it was a Leona Lewis song
I remember that okay
and I also remember in the waiting room I
(13:49):
there were like other kids singing and I was like
oh okay
I can do this too and I met like this German girl
whatever and I was like singing with her
and the room got quiet and they were listening
and I was like oh yeah
I totally got this I did not got this
but it's okay hahaha
yeah no
it was okay and then um
(14:10):
I mean surprisingly enough in the car back home
it was not like quiet and the sad depression
depression whatever no
I think it was we still had fun driving home huh
yeah yeah
I think it was overall a good experience
and not the world came come crumbling down right
exactly I think for the boy
it was like the most disappointing thing oh
(14:32):
for Kreshnik shout out to Kreshnik
I hope you're good
it was actually a Kreshnik and krenada
they're siblings yeah
and I was in class with the boy and his
his sister was a little bit uh younger
yeah yeah
exactly for him
I think it was the most a disappointing thing huh
really yeah
yeah he was quiet for a while huh
he was sad but I think the others um
(14:54):
I mean you were still happy the way you are today
I think the expectation management worked yes
you did a good job apparently with that was you
was him apparently not
but um
I mean after a couple hours or so
he was fine as well and yeah yeah yeah yeah
I mean
it was an experience not more and not less than that
(15:16):
huh pretty much yeah
it was I think overall it was a good experience
even though we didn't get the result that we wanted uh
I I think maybe you were even a little bit like
now I don't have to go to Germany
back and forth all the time exactly
I mean really
it was like that huh
yeah a little relief
like it was a little relief because I mean
we only did it for you huh
(15:36):
yeah yeah
yeah we did it for you and for me um
I mean
I personally I'm not a fan of those shows huh
I mean no
I'm never watching the shows huh
yeah I think they're still going on on TV
but yeah I mean
our TV is here for sports mainly yeah
(15:57):
and for news for tour de France and Nico's races
exactly and not much more than that huh
so um yeah
I'm not at all into those
into those a talent shows and all that stuff
like the Saturday evening shows
or Friday evening shows that's not my yeah
kind of a TV experience I'm looking for yeah
(16:20):
yeah I honestly don't watch it either anymore
but I was watching it religiously when I was still here
exactly that's when the TV was on all the time
and there was like a Tuesday night session
or whatsoever yeah yeah
couple times a week
I remember those times and sometimes we watch together
uh huh yeah
yeah yeah
and we would all give our opinions and you
(16:40):
you and I opinions would never be the same
you'd be like oh
that was good and like
I don't see what they see in this person
I don't like them and I'm like
oh no you don't know what you're talking about
they're so good we never had the same opinion never
but I have to admit that I mean
I have like no feeling for music at all huh
(17:01):
well but you see
like you underestimate
most people that consume music
are not trained in music
so it is important that you know
whatever we deliver works for everybody
I mean not for everybody
in the sense everybody's gonna like it
cause that's just not the reality
everybody has a different taste right
but you don't create music
(17:21):
just for people that are trained in music
unless that's your thing then you can totally do that
but you know
the average person that listens to it is like
you not trained in music so yeah
probably so huh
and um
from the untrained people
I'm really one of the bad ones
because usually I don't get the words
(17:42):
ah yeah yeah
I mean that's what drives me crazy huh
I mean after listening to a song
you can like repeat the words and everything
and I cannot
even differentiate the music from the words sometimes
yeah like understanding the lyrics
so my yeah yeah
understanding the lyrics my hearing is really bad
(18:03):
maybe too much go karting
I know it's a joke hahaha
I struggle with it too though
it's a like if I read the lyrics
I'm good and then I can
then I can understand them once I know what they are
but if I don't know and I've never read the lyrics
it's really hard I really have to concentrate
cause I don't really listen to the words anyways
(18:24):
I listen to the melodies and the tones like the
the different sounds that they are creating
much more so than the words yeah
that's my style too huh
so and then when you have motor sound
I mean that's the easiest sound for me
and I like that the most haha yeah
there you go well now we know where Nico got it from
haha um
but okay so that was the
(18:44):
that was the first experience
the super talent and then I
I like I said I think I was like 12 13 no
hold on I already was taking voice lessons
so and I didn't start until I was almost 13
so I must have been at least 13 if not almost 14
I think you were at least 14 yeah
(19:05):
yeah when you went to Surrey
no no
no for the super talent
cause I was already taking voice lessons okay
so yeah uh
the um in Zurich
so that was I think I took a long break after that
and I didn't do any other competitions
or anything like that but there was um
the voice I think you know if you're into singing
(19:26):
maybe you've seen like
all these different talent shows
but we had the The Voice of Switzerland here in
in Switzerland as well and not
it didn't run for very long though
I think it only ran for a couple seasons
yeah and then it stopped again
but I auditioned for that and I was in high school
uh I was
I a junior or a senior
(19:47):
either second to last or last year uh
something like that and that was a very different
uh system
because it was not an open call
where everybody went to the same place
and you were waiting for hours and hours
and hours and hours and hours
it was online I was sending in a video
(20:09):
that was the first round yeah exactly
yeah and then from there on out
they would already disqualify people
or let people come to to the second round
and you didn't have to drive me anywhere
no I could just shoot the video from home
and I actually did get into that next round
and that's when I had to go to Zurich
(20:30):
to audition in person and I took the train
so you didn't even have to drive me to Zurich
yes I remember very well hahaha
um do you
do you remember uh
at all like
what made me want to do the voice
like what like
I don't I don't remember
no I think there was no specific reason huh
(20:52):
I mean you were singing all your life huh
and it was just an opportunity
I don't remember if there was another girl
from your school yes
applying for it as well huh
and but I didn't know that until later
and you didn't know that until later
yeah but um
I mean in your school
I mean singing was a high priority huh
(21:14):
yeah yeah
so you and um
so it just happened and it was like publicly announced
it was not just for insiders
that the voice of Switzerland is auditioning huh
so I think you just saw it and then you said okay
why not huh
yeah nothing to lose huh
and I mean one bad experience doesn't mean anything huh
(21:35):
absolutely I mean
get up and try again huh
that's usually what you have to do in life anyway
so yeah
yeah you were confident and happy and you went there
huh yeah
after you final or after you got through this um
first round how was your video huh
yes yes
so I
I went there in person and I sang and all that jazz
(21:58):
crush my knees uh
and I remember you preparing because
oh OK
the second round was um
actually that they sent you a song huh
that was the third round was that the third round
that was the third round I made it three rounds in baby
three rounds so the
so okay
first round is video you send in a video
(22:19):
yeah and you pick what you wanna sing
second round you still pick what you wanna sing
but now it's in person yeah
and I was singing all that jazz from the musical
Chicago and I think my second song was summertime
which Leona Lewis sang a version of that song
when she was on a talent show
(22:40):
I think X Factor in England
I think she did X Factor um
and so I had those two songs prepared and then uh
they liked it and they invited me back
but they called us and that's when they were like
Alrighty you have to sing this song now which was um
(23:03):
journey don't stop believing
it was that song and because I was
this is my fault okay
so this was totally my fault
and I didn't realize this back then
but they were branding me as the musical theater girl
hmm it's just not on the yeah
OK they were branding me as the musical theater girl
and because obviously
(23:23):
I was singing a musical theater song
or actually two
because summertime is originally from Porgy and Bess
which is another musical uh
so I was singing two musical theater songs
in my second round of auditions
in person and so of course
they were gonna brand me as the musical theater girl
so they wanted to like
they wanted me to sing the Glee version
(23:46):
so Glee I didn't know this
I didn't watch Glee
but Glee is like a musical theater ish
kind of like TV show and they told me yeah
like prepare don't stop believing by journey
and I was like alright cool
and so I prepared that song
and when I then went back to Zurich to like
(24:06):
for that third round to sing my song
I was like alright um
I have they asked me like
oh yeah you
you're the one who has don't stop believing from Glee
right and I was like um
I have don't stop believing by journey
I don't know what Glee is
and they were like you were supposed to
prepare the Glee version of the song
(24:28):
and I was like I don't even know what Glee is
I don't know what you're asking me to do
and so they were already annoyed
and it wasn't even necessarily my fault
cause they just told me prepare that song
and I prepared the song
but I prepared the wrong version
yeah but I think also
that this was very unprofessional from the guys huh
(24:49):
I mean you should be precise when you tell somebody
and that's always in life
if you are not clear with what you ask people to do
then the result can be
something else than what you expect huh
yeah and it was exactly the case
so
I mean I was disappointed with you huh
(25:10):
because with you with oh
for you for you
yeah I was disappointed for you as well because I mean
we were sitting at the table when the phone call came
yeah yeah
and I mean you did everything right
of course you didn't ask a second time
because they never told you the version of Glee
yeah and so
(25:33):
I mean
if I ask my people to do something in the company
I'm responsible for the outcome if I'm not really yeah
telling them precisely what they have to do huh
yeah so yeah
well and
you know at that point too
like it's still the same song
I still prepared the right song
yeah the chords were still the same
for the guy that was accompanying me there
(25:54):
so like what's the big deal
but it didn't fit their musical theater
branding that they wanted to do for me
and so then I was out but at that point
cause this was the last round
um before the blind auditions
so this is the last round
that's happening behind the scenes
before what you see
(26:15):
what's happening on TV right
yeah and I
do you remember they sent me like a contract
like this thick I already had to like
read through everything
and already signed the contract
uh just
you know in case you make it through
they want they wanna be prepared and not
you know run after contracts and
and things like that and we even had
uh my uncle Hans
(26:37):
um he was even helping like
read through the contract to see
is this okay to sign and you were obviously helping me
um and so
you know we had everything figured out and then the big
like let down of like
oh man
now I'm not even and it's not even my fault
yeah right
now it is my fault that I sang musical theater songs
(26:58):
and
I did not want to be branded as the musical theater kid
but see you
you learn
but you have to make these experiences to learn that
like how else would I have known that
had I never done something like this right
and then um
the girl that you were talking about
who was also in my high school
her name is Veronica Fusaro
and she now has a really great uh
career and she did actually make it uh
(27:20):
to the blinds and she made it
she made it pretty far in the show
yeah she didn't win yeah
but she made it pretty far in the show
and obviously I was super jealous right
like the girl in my high school
that's a year younger than me right
so she was a junior I was a senior or whatever
um and obviously I was
(27:40):
I was jealous uh
but also very happy for her to see how she was
you know making a lot of progress in the show
yeah I didn't really feel the jealousy
what do you call it jealousy
I tried to not show it I didn't really feel that
very frankly huh
yeah because you were always telling how great she is
and how good she does and yeah
(28:01):
all that so I didn't really feel that
I truly believe that jealousy yeah
I didn't feel that jealousy
but maybe a little bit you can be jealous yeah
what the heck I think that's also normal huh
yeah yeah
yeah because you're like
I was so close to this yeah
I wanted that too but that's OK
that's OK that's life
that's literally life yeah
yeah but I think your disappointment wasn't like
(28:23):
too bad overall after that show either huh
no no
I don't think so huh
cause life goes on life goes on and I mean
it's you the chances are small
that you make it to the next round anyway
and even if you win the show
it doesn't mean anything
it still doesn't mean anything because guess what
(28:45):
in a couple months
the show starts again and you're already old news yeah
Schneefall gestern
snow from yesterday is what is our expression
like news like yeah
whatever old news old news is yeah
snow from yesterday schneefall gestern exactly
so you know
it's not like I was either gonna have a career or not
no it was just whatever I wanted to have the experience
(29:07):
but that's okay
I had the experience and made it pretty far
just not as far as I wanted to
but that's okay that's okay
that's okay I think so too good
haha
and then that's pretty much the end of of auditioning
I mean auditioning for schools that was the
that was the next thing like for
for college yeah uh
I was auditioning for a school in Zurich
(29:29):
and didn't get in there
and that was a different reaction from my end though
that was not like not only your end
I think they were just again
managing it very very poorly huh
the people there were managing it poorly huh
okay how so
um
the reasons they gave you not to move on with you huh
(29:50):
mm hmm oh
you are too young you are like too bubbly
too happy too haha
too much too much
you were just too much for them huh
yeah yeah yeah
they were like
we really like you and we'll take you in two years
please come audition again in two years and I'm like
we're talking about the music industry here
(30:10):
the younger the better like
and times are changing
very much so now with social media
but back then you know
more than 10 years ago 11 years ago
that was still very much you know
the younger the better and they were like
no come back in two years
you're too young I'm like
what and also
what do you want me to do for two years
(30:32):
I'm not just gonna wait around
and not do anything for two years
that's not not good
so I was um
also there made it to the last round of auditions
I even took a written test like a music theory test
a performance test a songwriting test
like everything and made it to the very last round
but then you know
and I think the last round were like three of you only
(30:54):
huh left there
yeah yeah
yeah but then
like the reasons they gave you huh
I think they were ridiculous huh
yeah but I mean
it has to be something to
has to have something to do with quality
because personality and so
is always important in business huh
yeah yeah
but of course personality comes with quality
(31:15):
and they didn't lose a word about quality or whatever
uh huh it was just oh
come back in two years yeah
well see
I I think'cause
the guy they ended up choosing'cause the school
they only accept one singer per year
and that's it
and so the guy they ended up choosing was 20
and I think
(31:36):
what happened there was exactly what happened with me
he auditioned earlier as well
this wasn't his first audition
and they told him to come back later
and then they have to take him
if they told him to come back later right
so it's like this this system makes no sense to me
yeah but it is what it is
and you you can't just
you know keep blaming the situation or whatever right
(31:58):
you have to take responsibility as well
but it is what it is but I was definitely
I was upset on the train ride home
because they told me right then and there
like on my last day of auditions
they told me right then and there
we're not gonna take you
we're gonna go with somebody else
so on the train ride home
I was like oh my gosh
I only auditioned for this one school
(32:20):
it is spring and I'm in my senior year
I don't know what I'm gonna be doing now
because I didn't get into that one school
I auditioned for so
I graduated high school
not knowing what I was gonna do
whoopsie maybe don't do that
maybe don't be so cocky ha ha ha
so yeah that was a
that was definitely a more disappointing reaction there
(32:41):
on my end uh
than with the talent shows absolutely
absolutely yeah
but that's also like Switzerland
you have like one opportunity per year only huh
to study what you wanted to study huh
yeah in the all of Switzerland
there was the all of Switzerland
there is one school with one singer
yeah and that's it
(33:01):
that's crazy that's it
that's crazy huh
and that is why I ended up leaving and went to the US
and auditioned for schools there
and got in there
because so many more opportunities there
exactly so yeah yeah
we looked at all different kinds of schools
even in England I think as well
maybe in England Germany
in Germany in uh
I think in Hamburg and in Freiburg
yeah yeah
(33:21):
yeah exactly
I remember there were two schools huh
yeah England
a couple schools huh
but England was a no go for you
awful weather I can't go sit in the rain
I say as I we are currently sitting in the rain here
but it's okay
yeah exactly
I ended up going to the US
(33:42):
I auditioned in the summer
and got accepted for the fall semester
so that that all happened really quickly then
which was cool I think you when did you finish school
July you finish school
yeah and you started in September
yeah in September
yeah but I was auditioning during summer break
so I was auditioning in July and then they were like
(34:03):
yep you can come in September
I was like alright cool
so move to New York and that was exactly cool
I love it well
well well well let's read some of these stories here
um because there's some really crazy stuff in here
I read these in January it is now July
(34:23):
I read these all really long time ago
but I remember both of them and I was like
oh my gosh and let me just it's actually August
oh it's August already that's right
oh it is already August
you are right oh my goodness
cause yesterday was August 1st
which is Switzerland's birthday
how old is Switzerland now
700 something years 734 years
(34:45):
how do you know that
because it's founded in 12 ninety one aha
and Bobby is very good at math like mental math
doing math in his brain
it's incredible what he can do and I'm always like yeah
I am not my father's daughter in that way in that sense
I'm terrible at math but it's OK anyways
I have two and that's why you ended up in music
(35:07):
that's why I ended up in music
because I remember when you graduated
you said
that's the last time in my life I touched a math book
or a
Learned anything about math over yeah
but then in college I had to do math again yeah
but then I didn't ever do it again
and you do it every day now with your little business
(35:27):
huh oh sure
but it's very different than like
algebra and geometry and all that stuff
my my math is very
very simple addition and percentage calculation
I have to do that as well
you see yeah
you have to do budgets and stuff and yeah
no I don't do that I probably should
(35:50):
so the title of this story here is
Am I the a hole
for making my daughter sing at our cruise talent show
okay um
and then we have to give it a verdict as well
is this person an a hole
or did they do everything right
okay alright
to note we are not stage parents
(36:11):
our children tell us their interests
and we support them in pursuing it
so before you read the rest
this is not the same
effort to exploit our kid or make her a star
my wife 49 female
and I 51 male
are on a cruise with our two children
13 female and 7 male our daughter
(36:32):
Allison is an aspiring singer
and has been taking voice lessons for the past year
oh she started at the same age I did hmm
12 and I was almost 13 but anyways
love it okay
one night my wife saw they had a karaoke night
and asked Allison if she wanted to try
she said yes we went to karaoke
which was a dance floor
(36:53):
in the middle of one of the cruises
bar slash restaurant
and she chose dreams by Fleetwood Mac
one of the songs she studied with her teacher
instead of our advice to leave it all on the stage
see she instead
clamped up and mumbled her way through the song
nothing like what she can do
so it sounds like she was very
(37:13):
very nervous yeah
uh I was really disappointed in her
that she decided to take the cowardly route
that's a very strong word
and backed out of giving a full performance
when we got back to the hotel room
I told her the same from what I remembered
I said it was something like Allison
what was that you know
you can do better than this
(37:34):
the night ended on a sour note
as my wife and I more or less repeated the same
and we all went to bed the next morning
things were kind of tense in the air
and my wife had a long talk with her
about pushing her sound out
and not shrinking away
she had to go stand on our room's balcony
and sing a song facing away from us
(37:54):
facing the ocean she had a Pep talk
lesson to embrace her voice and use it
so they made her get out on the balcony
and sing to the ocean as a lesson
so far it's clear for me
I know we have just a little bit more uh
a night or so later
we found out that the cruise also hosts a talent show
so we recommended it for Allison to try it again
(38:16):
this time an opera song Caro Mio Ben
she has she has been studying and she said yes
but I want to make sure I'm not the a hole
what do you think
they are really the parents
unbelievable aren't they
oh my God I mean
(38:36):
if she wants to sing and she goes on stage
and then is nervous and can't perform
I mean you are not like putting pressure on her huh
I mean that's
that's totally the wrong thing to do huh
yeah I mean
don't put pressure huh
I mean how scary is this
support her and help her and tell her yeah
(38:58):
good things huh
positive things and not like
I mean the positive thing was that she went up to stage
she wanted to do it by herself
but then all the rest is just BS
because it is so hard and nerve wracking
to do something like this
as a 13 year old kid she had the guts to do it
(39:18):
got a little nervous
it was probably her first time performing
or maybe her second but whatever
like it's like oh my gosh
I'm so proud of you for doing that good job
like yes
you were nervous you don't have to be like
that was perfect you don't have to do that
but you know she
she did her best and you support her
(39:39):
and then when you make her feel good about it
she can then start becoming more confident and like
alright yes
let's do this again
and she will slowly maturely come out of her shell more
exactly and
and then the lesson to ban her
banish her to the balcony and sing to the ocean now
bullshit what the heck
(39:59):
how stupid is that no
no no
I mean the verdict is clear huh
oh my God what an a hole
and it's not just the dad
cause it sounds like this was the dad writing this
no no
but the mom was the mom was involved there
yeah yeah yeah yeah
no no
no it's
I mean I wouldn't be
surprised if this girl is not singing anymore
yeah probably not huh
(40:21):
yeah and that's so sad
it's just really heartbreaking
cause and then the parents say
oh we are not stage parents and all that
but I mean
still they are looking for something in their daughter
which they couldn't be huh
yeah huh
put pressure on her absolutely
perfect way to put it yeah
yeah it's so sad
cause we deal with singers
that have experienced some sort of trauma like this
(40:44):
all the time and they're like
I haven't sung since I was 15 and I'm now 45
and it's just like oh man
just because they had one bad experience
or somebody said something mean and what not
so ugh
a hole a hole
parents don't do that again
exactly and the verdict on Reddit was also a hole
(41:05):
so I can imagine yep Alrighty
well that's pretty clear
other story this one's a little different Alrighty
am I the a hole
for telling my daughter she is a bad singer
and won't let her be in a singing competition
so the title is like yeah
you probably shouldn't do that
but let's read the story see what happens
(41:25):
uh I know this
I know how this looks but please hear me out
uh this is also a throw away
uh like the account is a throw away
meaning
they just created the account to write that story
and then deleted it again
okay uh
my daughter Layla is going to be a junior next year
so that's the second to last year of high school
(41:46):
uh and ever since she was little
she loved watching shows like American Idol
The Voice etcetera
and dreams of being a famous singer
while I think it's all well and good to sing as a hobby
she's simp she's simply not good at music
Layla has a rather high pitched voice
kind of like a cartoon or young toddler
(42:07):
and when she sings it sounds like nails on a chalkboard
and I'm certain she's tone deaf
because she insists her voice is not high at all
I know that's awful as a mom to say
but it's true we even hired a vocal coach before Covid
and the lady outright told me
she felt guilty about taking my money
because she simply has no musical talent
(42:28):
in her words oh
that's heartbreaking uh
she loves to sing at family events
and it always results in chuckles at best
or insults at worst from younger kids
she's always kept her head up though
and never let these comments get to her
which I admire a lot
but I wish she had more realistic adult plans by now
(42:50):
cause remember she's like 17
18 something like that
uh Layla's grades have been struggling for years
mostly D's uh
and we argue about it all the time
her excuse is always I don't need to learn this
because I will be a famous singer
this obsession has me become
has become a legitimate problem
(43:11):
because she shoots down anything unrelated to singing
when it comes to thinking about college or a job
which she also insists she will never need
because she will one day become a world famous singer
Today I told her she should be looking for a summer job
and again
she refused and said now that she's old enough
she wants to audition for a singing competition
(43:32):
undecided on which one I know these shows
most of them
will have poor singer audition only to mock them on TV
we have that here in Switzerland and Germany as well
or Germany mostly I am not letting that happen to Layla
and I told her I am no longer tolerating this obsession
and that she needs to apply herself in other areas soon
(43:52):
if she hopes to get any sort of career
because she simply is not a good singer
she started bawling and called me an abusive mother
I feel like an a hole now
and am not sure
if I should have handled it differently
so am I the a hole
no
yeah no
this is a tough situation
(44:13):
I agree tough situation
but I would say no
because the mother tries to do expectation management
yes huh
yes the mother tries to do the best for her daughter
huh I mean
she can continue taking voice lessons if the mother
can afford it huh
or the family can afford it
(44:35):
and maybe she can be a comedian one day
huh with her bad voice
I don't know but don't really I mean
just let her go away with that dream huh
and not do anything else huh
yeah I mean
that even if you are a very talented singer
you shouldn't let somebody go away with
(44:56):
just following that route
and nothing else and not having an alternative yeah
that's more my point huh
because things can happen
huh in your career whatever huh
oh it's so
and I mean it's so yeah
yeah it's luck luck
luck huh
and so I mean
and if you're like
bass is as bad as apparently it is here with this girl
(45:19):
I mean it's like me
I want to become a famous singer yeah no way
no way I can dream about it as much as I want
but I can just not sing and period
that's it yeah
and I mean you really have to find a way
to tell your girl what she has to do
(45:40):
or show her alternatives
really find alternatives find another passion
find another interest yeah
she can really move forward huh
but um
I think that's the job of parents in any case huh
yeah find out where the heart is huh
at the end of the day okay
her heart seems to be in singing only
(46:03):
but maybe I don't know
maybe her heart is also in horses and
uh huh whatsoever something yeah
godly like
it's hard when where your heart is
like you say like your passion
what you really wanna
do is not where you're excelling at
(46:24):
mm hmm right
where it's like ugh
nope not quite but also I have to say to the mom
you know like was supportive in the sense of like
alright let's get you enrolled in some voice lessons
cause we need some training here
this is not gonna this is not gonna work right
that's good but she didn't say that from the beginning
it was like yeah
let's get you some voice lessons and I think that's
(46:45):
that's a great step uh
what
I don't find so great is what the voice teacher said um
and she said like I feel bad for taking your money
because this girl has zero musical talent
but I'm quite sure she told that to the mother
and not to the kid of course
of course so I
I would hope so I mean
because the
I think it's also the voice teacher's responsibility
(47:09):
to inform the parents
if they feel like this is an absolute waste of money
huh yes
so but you can say you can say in a way
I'm not sure
the voice teacher didn't say that in this way
that I feel bad to take your money
but for sure the voice teacher more said hey
(47:30):
I mean this is going to be a long
a tough road here and the yeah
the success is very unlikely that I mean
the chances are like with everybody
but even a little bit slimmer than with everybody else
yeah I mean
that's what you can say
and I'm sure the voice teacher was not so blunt
and just said oh
forget it well you'd be surprised really there
(47:52):
there are quite a few people that
that would do something like that
so for I think as a as a voice teacher myself
I think it's also a part of expectation management
that we have to do all the time as well true
I unless the
the person literally cannot match pitch
and also cannot hear
when I am not matching pitch with something
(48:15):
if that's the case I would have to be like hey
it looks like we have a case of like true tone deafness
this goes beyond my expertise
like I don't know how to help you in this case um
I would love for you to go like
find somebody else who maybe
you know
specializes in pitch because that's the foundation
(48:37):
right like yeah
pitch has to be there if you can't sing the right notes
it's gonna be really difficult uh
and so you know
like I would refer to to somebody else
but like be like I can't help you with this uh
but if that's not the case
if they can hear or they're
they just need a lot of a lot of training
I will be upfront and tell them look
we can do this
but it's gonna be probably six months of doing stuff
(49:00):
you don't wanna do and you're gonna get annoyed
and you're not gonna wanna do it
but you have to do this stuff and it's boring as heck
but that's how you're gonna get better
and then once we get beyond that hurdle
then it starts getting fun
but it's gonna be not so fun for a long time
do you want to do this
I will help you if if the answer is yes if not alright
(49:22):
then yeah then I can't help you yeah
but that's said in a professional way yeah
that's how it should be done yeah
that's how it should be done huh
you explain it in a professional way and yeah
I mean I was expecting that
the voice teacher told that
the mother in a quite a professional way as well huh
I hope so yeah and not just say oh forget your kid yeah
(49:44):
but keep your money yeah
keep your money spend it for a nice piece of clothes
whatever yeah
yeah huh yeah
yeah but yeah
it's it's tough when you
when your kid wants to do something and it's like at
there's no way in hell this is gonna
this is gonna work it's tough for the parent
but I think at some point
you do have to put your foot down
(50:05):
especially this girl is gonna be like
you know she just one more year in school
she has to figure out does she want to go to college
like what does she want to do
cause it's just like you said
even if
if she has a ton of talent and is an amazing singer
you can't just be like I'm not gonna do anything
I'm just gonna become a world famous singer
it's just no very unlikely
(50:28):
very very unlikely huh
yeah yeah
that's tough yeah yeah
what would you have done had this been the case for me
or for Nico you know
Nico's a race car driver and maybe he loved it
but was just always in the back of the races
was not doing a good job what would you have done
not paying anymore hahaha
(50:48):
there you go no cutting you off very no
it's it's really true
yeah it's really true
because then you tell him hey
now it's your time to figure out how you can do racing
I mean how you can afford it and how you can go for it
yeah and it's I mean
(51:09):
we'd never had a plan B with either of you huh
with you or with Nico huh
yeah it was always going this one route
but always with milestones
mm mm hmm always with milestones
because you say OK
the next year then there is a milestone
(51:30):
and then there is a milestone again
and if this milestone is missed
then you need another plan huh
yeah but
and I think this is legitimate huh
if you do it this way huh
yeah so
you can focus on what you do and what you want to do
and what you love to do mm hmm
so plan B from beginning on or having like Plan a B
(51:55):
C d
and try to pursue all of them will not work out either
huh yeah
yeah that will not work out either
so
but you have to have the milestones
and apparently here I mean
you can set milestones with that girl as well huh
I mean if she doesn't find voice teachers anymore
which wanna teach her yeah
(52:16):
that's probably also a sign
and a milestone in her career as a singer
yeah it can be a milestone
as you said maybe
she has to go to a doctor
and find out what is wrong with her
I mean are her ears good enough
is her hearing good enough
yeah for singing
because apparently she feels that she has a good voice
(52:38):
and everybody else tells something else
yeah so that's also a milestone
and then from there you can take decisions
oh maybe she needs therapy
maybe she needs specialists whatsoever
yeah and then suddenly it clicks and she yeah
it goes
so you need milestones in your life and move forward
(53:00):
and yeah a plan a is the strongest plan
uh huh huh
yeah that is yeah
I like that I like that a lot
good advice I'm noting that in my brain
I'm noting that in my brain
so overall would you recommend to parents
if their kid wants to do a talent show
would you recommend they let their kid try
(53:21):
or would you be like stay away from those shows
no I mean
their kids can try but like really prepare them for it
huh
don't like encourage them and tell them oh
when you come back you will be the star and you will
yeah have 2 million followers on Instagram and all that
and your life is gonna be easy and you'll
you'll be you just take a couple pictures and that's it
(53:43):
and so do manage the expectations
mm hmm your own expectations
first of all
I think lots of parents have problems with ex um
managing their own expectations
ha mm hmm
I mean they see the star in their kid huh
yeah because I can understand that
(54:04):
I never saw the star in the kid
I always had the love for my kids
and try to make things for them possible huh
and at the end of the day
when they're successful you're happy
you're even proud but hey
it's the kids it's not me huh
you make it for them and not for yourself huh
(54:24):
and the parents they try to do it for themselves
for the missed career for the missed dreams
which never came through or whatsoever huh
but it's it's really
you do it for the kids
and you are there for your kids when you have kids
otherwise better don't have kids yeah
(54:45):
well I
as you can see
I am very lucky to have such wonderful parents
so supportive and not you know
too pushy but also
you know like you can expect a commitment then
I mean when you
give the opportunity to your kids to do something
you expect commitment yeah
(55:05):
you expect that they work for that
yeah and not
I mean and that's another milestone
if you see like them not being interested anymore
do other stuff I mean
why do you want to spend your money for that huh
I mean then you give
have to give them a reality check
yeah huh
very important huh
(55:26):
I mean reality is tough huh
raising kids sounds hard
I don't know if I'm cut out for that
it sounds so hard
I think it's not hard at all
no no
I never felt it this hard
not at all okay
not at all I mean
I enjoyed it
and I still enjoy it today with you and with Nico
and I mean that's because I am an angel
(55:48):
you are an angel absolutely
you are an angel and um
and Nico is an angel too of course
yeah um huh
but you raised us to be angels
ha ha
ha ha
no I think mom did it mainly
Mommy did yeah
mom did it mainly I think it takes two though
because she is the angel in the family
(56:09):
ha oh
I think we're all just little angels
yeah you are
but yeah I'm not really an angel huh
yes you are
yes you are
I love it it's so
but I mean
we are fortunate because we
as parents we don't struggle in our life huh
(56:31):
so it's much easier then
to give your kids opportunities
and help them to fulfill dreams and all that huh
yeah because we were always on the sunny side
or on the lucky side of life
yeah huh
yeah that is true
I mean we started with nothing huh
and um
but we were lucky mm hmm
and me and hard working yeah
(56:52):
but luck is like the most important huh
I mean you can hard working
be hard working and work three jobs
and you still don't get anywhere
yes yes
that is very true that is very true
so you have to have luck as well in life huh
and if you have that luck
then it's the best if you share it with your kids
yeah so that's what we do
(57:14):
and we are sure that
once we are not on the lucky side anymore
we have our kids which will
yes but we are staying on the lucky side
that's true
let's stay there
putting out good voodoo juice to stay on that
stay on the lucky side of life
that's that's very true
that's very true
but I'm just very fortunate to be born in this family
(57:39):
hahaha and have such great support
I think cause you know there's
there's other families that are very well off
and also on the lucky side
but the parents are for some reason
still just not happy or not supportive
and I mean even I see this with grant actually
he's like oh man
I just really hope that whenever we have kids
that our kids don't wanna go into racing or music
(58:00):
because I'm gonna have to tell them that it's possible
because both you and your brother did it
and I don't wanna have to deal with that
but obviously he would support because I would be like
no we're doing this because my parents let me do it
we're doing the same yeah um
but you know he's an engineer
and very much more like the traditional route
(58:21):
so yeah he he struggles with that a little bit yeah
he struggles with that thought
but at the end of the day
you want the best for your kids
of course and if you can afford it
you do it I say it's my yeah
philosophy huh
yeah yeah
you try to make it possible
well
and luckily these talent shows they're free or very
very very cheap yeah
(58:42):
so it is an experience that you can give your children
for almost nothing um
or nothing like monetary wise
so let them let them try it and see how it goes
and I totally understand this mom
not wanting her daughter to do it
because she was scared that they're gonna use her
as a bad example yeah
exactly on TV exactly
and I get that they wanna
(59:05):
you know be protective of that
but then you can just audition for shows
that don't have that aspect
for example The Voice doesn't have that
they don't have the bad auditions
where they make fun of the singer or whatever
so just guide
your kid towards a show that doesn't have that
maybe
so they still get the feedback from professionals
they still get the know there
(59:27):
but there's no risk of them being humiliated on TV
in front of the entire country yeah
absolutely I love it
and um
would I see the
if parents are not allowing their kids to do that
it's mostly because they don't wanna compromise
their own life hmm
just another little thought here huh
(59:47):
okay because if you support your kids
that means a lot of compromises with your own life
with your own activities with your own interests yeah
if the kids are moving deeper and deeper into something
huh yeah
then yeah it means more commitment from parents huh
yeah
even if you are on the sunny side of life monetary wise
(01:00:09):
if you have lots of money and all that
the self love they have uh
for their own hobbies activities and so on
sometimes
really prevents them from supporting the kids huh
hmm huh uh huh
the journey uh huh
is the for me
(01:00:29):
it was more about the journey and not about the result
huh because the journey was interesting too for me huh
yeah I mean
it gets me out of my boring life
uh huh
everyday daily life
everyday daily job
everything
and to join me there I mean
at the end of the day
I mean you were Mori's mom in New York
(01:00:52):
yeah all that
or she visited you like every three minutes she could
huh she was in New York
I was in New York seven uh sorry
I was in New York 18 months
one and a half years
and we were just talking about this
she came to visit me seven times OK
you see
in in one and a/2 years
which is a lot
flying across the Atlantic back and forth
(01:01:13):
and for her it was the best time in her life huh
yeah like experiencing that with you huh
I spent like I don't know 20
30 weekends a year with Nico on the race tracks
for many many years
yeah and um
so that was the journey and um
now you are independent Nico is independent
(01:01:34):
and now we we can live our life again huh
yeah yeah
so it's all good it's all fine huh
and we can enjoy it from far
it's even better huh
yeah exactly
but you enabled us to get here
so yeah
but we can enjoy it from far
and we can still live our life at the fullest huh
yeah yeah
(01:01:55):
oh well
thank you for all the sacrifices you made
for all the support you gave us
for driving me to auditions
talent shows and setting expectations
so that I wouldn't be so disappointed
it really worked it really worked
it worked yeah
it worked I love it
yeah thank you
but we knew it's gonna work out no yeah
(01:02:16):
well thank you so much
Bobby for joining me for this episode
I appreciate it and that's it right
anything else you wanna say
no no
no no no
OK it's all fine
love you puppy love you Lara
thank you thank you
thank you thank you guys for watching
we'll see you in the next episode
and until then check out the links for some resources
we'll see you there alright bye
our daughter Alison
(00:01):
is an aspiring singer
and has been taking voice lessons for the past year
one night
my wife saw they had a karaoke night
and asked Alison if she wanted to try
she said yes
and she chose Dreams by Fleetwood Mac
one of the songs she studied with her teacher
instead of our advice to leave it all on the stage
she instead
(00:22):
clamped up and mumbled her way through the song
nothing like what she can do
I was really disappointed in her
that she decided to take the cowardly route
that's a very strong word
and backed out of giving a full performance
next morning things were kind of tense in the air
she had to go stand on our room's balcony
and sing a song facing away from us
(00:44):
facing the ocean
so later
we found out that the cruise also hosts a talent show
so we recommended it for Alison to try it again
this time an opera song
she said yes but I want to make sure I'm not the a hole
they are really the parents unbelievable
aren't they oh my god
if she wants to sing and she goes on stage
(01:04):
and then is nervous and can't perform
I mean you are not like putting pressure on her
Hey Vox Star
and welcome to from singer to artist
I'm Lara Chapman award winning singer and songwriter
(01:25):
turned viral vocal coach and the host of this show
at VoxTape Studios we
help singers from all over the world
level up their voices
by teaching them the three fundamental skills
all singers need technique
awareness and artistry whether you're looking to go pro
or just develop your voice for fun
my team and I are here to help
check the link in the description
(01:45):
to book your first session
or grab some of our other resources
Alrighty are you ready
let's get started welcome to to my parents living room
I have boppy Christian Mueller here with me today
hello dad hi Lara
hi Lara how are you
oh I'm perfectly fine
when you're coming home I know once in a while
I know it's been a while it's been
(02:07):
I think over six months since I was home
last Christmas Christmas yeah
it's quite a long time ago
unfortunately we met in India actually yeah
in April yeah
in spring so but it's a long time
it's a long time and we miss you of course
oh I miss you too
and that's why I came yeah
and then I'll be back in just a couple weeks again
(02:28):
cause my brother's expecting another baby
so excited to meet the little baby um
but that's still a couple weeks away
but uh today we are here in Blumenstein
or as we like to call it as well flowerstone
cause that literally is the name of our town
just translated from German into English Flowerstone
(02:50):
and I grew up in this house
I spent my entire life here
literally from birth I mean
I was born in the hospital
but after that from birth till 18
till I moved to New York exactly exactly
so that's the only home you have had
yeah before you move to the US yeah
and and we are still here
I mean it's what
how many years later 30 years yeah
(03:11):
yeah you're still here 30 years later
30 years later we are still here
we still love it it's still our place to be here
and um yeah
we have no intention at all to move out of this house
and um
hopefully we can give it to our kids one day
oh you keep it
you stay alive forever so you keep it hahaha
but no uh
(03:32):
what I wanted to talk to you today about
is talent shows
because you and I have had some experience together
as far as talent shows goes
uh where you drove me to Germany
you helped me prepare for other talent shows as well
and so I was like oh
perfect because we're in Switzerland
and all these talent shows happened here
(03:53):
I don't think I participated in any talent shows
when I was abroad
no I just contests like songwriting contests
but not like singing talent shows
and so what we have today for you
is discussing our experience as
you know as the contestant
myself and for my dad your experience
you know supporting your kid through contests
(04:15):
singing contests
as well as
we'll look at some stories from other parents
sharing their experience with their kids
and their talent show experiences
and when it was not so great
and maybe you have some advice
from a parent's point of view
what they could have done better
but do you remember the first talent show
(04:36):
that I participated in absolutely
I think you were still in school huh
yeah I don't know which grade it was huh
I think I was 12 I remember being 12
12 OK
yeah I remember that very well
huh and with 12
um girls are dreaming huh
yeah hahaha
very much so of course
(04:57):
they're dreaming to become pop stars one day
and um
I mean if it would have been for you only
I don't think we would have made that trip to Germany
OK frankly yeah
I think you were like three from your class at the time
yeah
uh one boy and two girls huh
and um
so together with actually my dad huh
(05:18):
yes your grandfather
we made it a kind of a family trip to Germany huh
early in the morning out
and then in the evening back home
so it was not too far of a drive
so that was all manageable huh
and I mean it was a fun trip huh
it was I think it was a loud trip in the car
(05:39):
yeah in the car
a lots of singing and a lots of bragging and of course
having fun I'm sure
I'm sure
did we already do a lot of singing driving there or
yeah yeah
yeah you did
of course you did um
singing on the way there and of course
you started talking about the next step already
before you even qualified
(06:00):
I mean that's spoiler alert
there was never a second step hahaha
we never made it any of us
no any of you made it
and I think it was um
I mean for me
it was the first time I have seen anything like that
huh I mean
with your brother we went to card races all the time
(06:21):
every weekend
and I was very familiar with the whole racing scene
and everything and then of course
for me and for also my uh
father it was like giving something to you
hmm because we did so much for your brother
so we would wanted to do something for you as well
and like fulfill your dream
(06:41):
and the most important thing we did
I tried to do at least on that trip in the car was um
expectation management huh
oh expectation management
what did you do what did you tell us
because I mean
of course girls have big dreams huh
and they're flying very very high huh
(07:03):
and in the car you were all like
up here huh
I'm sorry I mean
ha ha and so we try to do some expectation management
and prepare you for like the
the time when the judges are coming out and tell you
out out
out out out huh
yeah which is most likely to happen anyway
because you were like really
(07:26):
I think you were just the first age group
which was able to go to that contest
oh really
yeah it's possible yeah
yeah yeah
the smaller ones were not even allowed
are the younger ones and so
we tried to manage your expectations and prepare you
for the time in the afternoon
(07:46):
when the church is coming out
and that was like our main job during that drive
of course also entertain you and fortunately we didn't
we didn't sing with you
it's a it can be pretty harsh for twelve
uh year old kids huh
when they like dreaming high
(08:07):
and then the dream just plop
it's just gone huh
yeah when the judge says out huh
yeah so that was more the job we have had there
yeah and I mean
we or me as a father and even my father
we had like no expectations at all huh
yeah I mean
it was we know this is like a not impossible
(08:30):
but kind of impossible very unlikely yeah
yeah very
very unlikely cause it was so it the
the show was called the super talent
uh for Germany
the super talent literally very easy translation
and uh it was an open call
meaning you did not have to send in a
video before or anything
(08:51):
like you just filled out a piece of paper
did we pay I'm sure we have paid
because that's like their business model huh
have as many kids as possible there
yeah um
auditioning like 20 bucks
like it would have been something really cheap yeah
it was cheap and um
but of course it's part of the business model huh
(09:12):
yeah of the show as well
I honestly don't remember that
so don't quote us on this
but we just basically filled out a piece of paper
maybe we paid a little bit of an entry fee
and then we just drove to Germany
got there in the morning and just waited around like
and in my brain I was like
oh yeah we're gonna see you know
the celebrity um judges that you have on these shows
(09:34):
that's not how that works
you just go to a huge building
where they have a big waiting room
I remember the big waiting room
and then they would have have you put like
they would put you into groups essentially
and then they would take the group
like to the elevator and to some room where
one after each other
(09:54):
we went into the room and we sang our stuff for people
nobody knows the
not the famous judges that you see on TV
those are just
people that apparently have something to do with music
otherwise they probably wouldn't be there
but I definitely didn't know them
my friends didn't know didn't know them
(10:15):
and we would sing for them
and then we would go back into the waiting room
and wait for for some like hours
hours we were waiting for hours before we were singing
we were waiting and after we were singing
we were waiting and uh
I remember like in the room I was like
man like they're not even really looking at me
they don't really care that much
(10:38):
and I already knew after that I was like
oh I I don't have a good feeling about this
and I also saw that
when they found someone that they really liked
they would pretty much immediately
take them to the next round already
and they didn't do that with any of us
like all three of us that didn't happen
(10:58):
and so we were waiting and waiting and waiting
and I remember contemplating
together with you and grandpa as well like
do we just leave
because we still have to drive home to Switzerland
like
should we just go because it's probably not happening
but we I think we did end up sticking around
and then they were like
you you you you and you stay everybody else can leave
(11:21):
I remember exactly yeah exactly
we were waiting I mean
we discussed it
I was convinced that it was out because all of you guys
you came out of this room huh
and you said oh
I only had like 20 seconds of singing
or 30 seconds of singing yeah
they they didn't even listen to me really huh
(11:42):
yeah it was just poof poof poof
like one after the other getting in
getting out getting in
getting out I mean yeah
it very much feels like a factory right
like I just I just have to listen to all these people
I don't wanna really be here and listen to them
but they all you know
got like came here paid an entry fee maybe
maybe not and um
(12:03):
and now we have to listen to these people
but it's very much like they know
within the first second of you opening your mouth
whether you're gonna be it or not
whether you fit the mold they are looking for
and all that stuff and so no
it was like
I mean it was a business there for them
just pushing people through
and I I don't remember how many there were
(12:25):
but it was hundreds and hundreds of kids
oh yeah
it was a big school complex
and I mean they used all the classrooms and everything
oh was it a school
yeah that's what it was
a school complex
it was a huge school complex where they hold this um
audition if you can call it audition huh
this selection process yeah
(12:47):
because that was it more than anything else huh
I mean you did not even have a chance to like
really sing in my no
point of view huh
in my point of view I mean
in 20 seconds you can't really show what you can huh
no but a lot of times it's like alright
that's all I need if you can't deliver it in 20 seconds
(13:07):
bye and you see that a lot in musical theater auditions
where you get a 16 bar cut
or maybe even just an eight bar cut
and that is literally like 15 seconds
and that's all the time you get
and from there on out
they decide if they wanna see you again or not
it's very common that you just get a couple seconds
and that's it so
it's important that you pick the right song
(13:28):
and the right part of a song
that showcases what you can do
um I was singing a Leona Lewis song
I think I was singing run I Wanna Run
something like that I think it was that
or maybe it was footprints in the sand
I don't remember but it was a Leona Lewis song
I remember that okay
and I also remember in the waiting room I
(13:49):
there were like other kids singing and I was like
oh okay
I can do this too and I met like this German girl
whatever and I was like singing with her
and the room got quiet and they were listening
and I was like oh yeah
I totally got this I did not got this
but it's okay hahaha
yeah no
it was okay and then um
(14:10):
I mean surprisingly enough in the car back home
it was not like quiet and the sad depression
depression whatever no
I think it was we still had fun driving home huh
yeah yeah
I think it was overall a good experience
and not the world came come crumbling down right
exactly I think for the boy
it was like the most disappointing thing oh
(14:32):
for Kreshnik shout out to Kreshnik
I hope you're good
it was actually a Kreshnik and krenada
they're siblings yeah
and I was in class with the boy and his
his sister was a little bit uh younger
yeah yeah
exactly for him
I think it was the most a disappointing thing huh
really yeah
yeah he was quiet for a while huh
he was sad but I think the others um
(14:54):
I mean you were still happy the way you are today
I think the expectation management worked yes
you did a good job apparently with that was you
was him apparently not
but um
I mean after a couple hours or so
he was fine as well and yeah yeah yeah yeah
I mean
it was an experience not more and not less than that
(15:16):
huh pretty much yeah
it was I think overall it was a good experience
even though we didn't get the result that we wanted uh
I I think maybe you were even a little bit like
now I don't have to go to Germany
back and forth all the time exactly
I mean really
it was like that huh
yeah a little relief
like it was a little relief because I mean
we only did it for you huh
(15:36):
yeah yeah
yeah we did it for you and for me um
I mean
I personally I'm not a fan of those shows huh
I mean no
I'm never watching the shows huh
yeah I think they're still going on on TV
but yeah I mean
our TV is here for sports mainly yeah
(15:57):
and for news for tour de France and Nico's races
exactly and not much more than that huh
so um yeah
I'm not at all into those
into those a talent shows and all that stuff
like the Saturday evening shows
or Friday evening shows that's not my yeah
kind of a TV experience I'm looking for yeah
(16:20):
yeah I honestly don't watch it either anymore
but I was watching it religiously when I was still here
exactly that's when the TV was on all the time
and there was like a Tuesday night session
or whatsoever yeah yeah
couple times a week
I remember those times and sometimes we watch together
uh huh yeah
yeah yeah
and we would all give our opinions and you
(16:40):
you and I opinions would never be the same
you'd be like oh
that was good and like
I don't see what they see in this person
I don't like them and I'm like
oh no you don't know what you're talking about
they're so good we never had the same opinion never
but I have to admit that I mean
I have like no feeling for music at all huh
(17:01):
well but you see
like you underestimate
most people that consume music
are not trained in music
so it is important that you know
whatever we deliver works for everybody
I mean not for everybody
in the sense everybody's gonna like it
cause that's just not the reality
everybody has a different taste right
but you don't create music
(17:21):
just for people that are trained in music
unless that's your thing then you can totally do that
but you know
the average person that listens to it is like
you not trained in music so yeah
probably so huh
and um
from the untrained people
I'm really one of the bad ones
because usually I don't get the words
(17:42):
ah yeah yeah
I mean that's what drives me crazy huh
I mean after listening to a song
you can like repeat the words and everything
and I cannot
even differentiate the music from the words sometimes
yeah like understanding the lyrics
so my yeah yeah
understanding the lyrics my hearing is really bad
(18:03):
maybe too much go karting
I know it's a joke hahaha
I struggle with it too though
it's a like if I read the lyrics
I'm good and then I can
then I can understand them once I know what they are
but if I don't know and I've never read the lyrics
it's really hard I really have to concentrate
cause I don't really listen to the words anyways
(18:24):
I listen to the melodies and the tones like the
the different sounds that they are creating
much more so than the words yeah
that's my style too huh
so and then when you have motor sound
I mean that's the easiest sound for me
and I like that the most haha yeah
there you go well now we know where Nico got it from
haha um
but okay so that was the
(18:44):
that was the first experience
the super talent and then I
I like I said I think I was like 12 13 no
hold on I already was taking voice lessons
so and I didn't start until I was almost 13
so I must have been at least 13 if not almost 14
I think you were at least 14 yeah
(19:05):
yeah when you went to Surrey
no no
no for the super talent
cause I was already taking voice lessons okay
so yeah uh
the um in Zurich
so that was I think I took a long break after that
and I didn't do any other competitions
or anything like that but there was um
the voice I think you know if you're into singing
(19:26):
maybe you've seen like
all these different talent shows
but we had the The Voice of Switzerland here in
in Switzerland as well and not
it didn't run for very long though
I think it only ran for a couple seasons
yeah and then it stopped again
but I auditioned for that and I was in high school
uh I was
I a junior or a senior
(19:47):
either second to last or last year uh
something like that and that was a very different
uh system
because it was not an open call
where everybody went to the same place
and you were waiting for hours and hours
and hours and hours and hours
it was online I was sending in a video
(20:09):
that was the first round yeah exactly
yeah and then from there on out
they would already disqualify people
or let people come to to the second round
and you didn't have to drive me anywhere
no I could just shoot the video from home
and I actually did get into that next round
and that's when I had to go to Zurich
(20:30):
to audition in person and I took the train
so you didn't even have to drive me to Zurich
yes I remember very well hahaha
um do you
do you remember uh
at all like
what made me want to do the voice
like what like
I don't I don't remember
no I think there was no specific reason huh
(20:52):
I mean you were singing all your life huh
and it was just an opportunity
I don't remember if there was another girl
from your school yes
applying for it as well huh
and but I didn't know that until later
and you didn't know that until later
yeah but um
I mean in your school
I mean singing was a high priority huh
(21:14):
yeah yeah
so you and um
so it just happened and it was like publicly announced
it was not just for insiders
that the voice of Switzerland is auditioning huh
so I think you just saw it and then you said okay
why not huh
yeah nothing to lose huh
and I mean one bad experience doesn't mean anything huh
(21:35):
absolutely I mean
get up and try again huh
that's usually what you have to do in life anyway
so yeah
yeah you were confident and happy and you went there
huh yeah
after you final or after you got through this um
first round how was your video huh
yes yes
so I
I went there in person and I sang and all that jazz
(21:58):
crush my knees uh
and I remember you preparing because
oh OK
the second round was um
actually that they sent you a song huh
that was the third round was that the third round
that was the third round I made it three rounds in baby
three rounds so the
so okay
first round is video you send in a video
(22:19):
yeah and you pick what you wanna sing
second round you still pick what you wanna sing
but now it's in person yeah
and I was singing all that jazz from the musical
Chicago and I think my second song was summertime
which Leona Lewis sang a version of that song
when she was on a talent show
(22:40):
I think X Factor in England
I think she did X Factor um
and so I had those two songs prepared and then uh
they liked it and they invited me back
but they called us and that's when they were like
Alrighty you have to sing this song now which was um
(23:03):
journey don't stop believing
it was that song and because I was
this is my fault okay
so this was totally my fault
and I didn't realize this back then
but they were branding me as the musical theater girl
hmm it's just not on the yeah
OK they were branding me as the musical theater girl
and because obviously
(23:23):
I was singing a musical theater song
or actually two
because summertime is originally from Porgy and Bess
which is another musical uh
so I was singing two musical theater songs
in my second round of auditions
in person and so of course
they were gonna brand me as the musical theater girl
so they wanted to like
they wanted me to sing the Glee version
(23:46):
so Glee I didn't know this
I didn't watch Glee
but Glee is like a musical theater ish
kind of like TV show and they told me yeah
like prepare don't stop believing by journey
and I was like alright cool
and so I prepared that song
and when I then went back to Zurich to like
(24:06):
for that third round to sing my song
I was like alright um
I have they asked me like
oh yeah you
you're the one who has don't stop believing from Glee
right and I was like um
I have don't stop believing by journey
I don't know what Glee is
and they were like you were supposed to
prepare the Glee version of the song
(24:28):
and I was like I don't even know what Glee is
I don't know what you're asking me to do
and so they were already annoyed
and it wasn't even necessarily my fault
cause they just told me prepare that song
and I prepared the song
but I prepared the wrong version
yeah but I think also
that this was very unprofessional from the guys huh
(24:49):
I mean you should be precise when you tell somebody
and that's always in life
if you are not clear with what you ask people to do
then the result can be
something else than what you expect huh
yeah and it was exactly the case
so
I mean I was disappointed with you huh
(25:10):
because with you with oh
for you for you
yeah I was disappointed for you as well because I mean
we were sitting at the table when the phone call came
yeah yeah
and I mean you did everything right
of course you didn't ask a second time
because they never told you the version of Glee
yeah and so
(25:33):
I mean
if I ask my people to do something in the company
I'm responsible for the outcome if I'm not really yeah
telling them precisely what they have to do huh
yeah so yeah
well and
you know at that point too
like it's still the same song
I still prepared the right song
yeah the chords were still the same
for the guy that was accompanying me there
(25:54):
so like what's the big deal
but it didn't fit their musical theater
branding that they wanted to do for me
and so then I was out but at that point
cause this was the last round
um before the blind auditions
so this is the last round
that's happening behind the scenes
before what you see
(26:15):
what's happening on TV right
yeah and I
do you remember they sent me like a contract
like this thick I already had to like
read through everything
and already signed the contract
uh just
you know in case you make it through
they want they wanna be prepared and not
you know run after contracts and
and things like that and we even had
uh my uncle Hans
(26:37):
um he was even helping like
read through the contract to see
is this okay to sign and you were obviously helping me
um and so
you know we had everything figured out and then the big
like let down of like
oh man
now I'm not even and it's not even my fault
yeah right
now it is my fault that I sang musical theater songs
(26:58):
and
I did not want to be branded as the musical theater kid
but see you
you learn
but you have to make these experiences to learn that
like how else would I have known that
had I never done something like this right
and then um
the girl that you were talking about
who was also in my high school
her name is Veronica Fusaro
and she now has a really great uh
career and she did actually make it uh
(27:20):
to the blinds and she made it
she made it pretty far in the show
yeah she didn't win yeah
but she made it pretty far in the show
and obviously I was super jealous right
like the girl in my high school
that's a year younger than me right
so she was a junior I was a senior or whatever
um and obviously I was
(27:40):
I was jealous uh
but also very happy for her to see how she was
you know making a lot of progress in the show
yeah I didn't really feel the jealousy
what do you call it jealousy
I tried to not show it I didn't really feel that
very frankly huh
yeah because you were always telling how great she is
and how good she does and yeah
(28:01):
all that so I didn't really feel that
I truly believe that jealousy yeah
I didn't feel that jealousy
but maybe a little bit you can be jealous yeah
what the heck I think that's also normal huh
yeah yeah
yeah because you're like
I was so close to this yeah
I wanted that too but that's OK
that's OK that's life
that's literally life yeah
yeah but I think your disappointment wasn't like
(28:23):
too bad overall after that show either huh
no no
I don't think so huh
cause life goes on life goes on and I mean
it's you the chances are small
that you make it to the next round anyway
and even if you win the show
it doesn't mean anything
it still doesn't mean anything because guess what
(28:45):
in a couple months
the show starts again and you're already old news yeah
Schneefall gestern
snow from yesterday is what is our expression
like news like yeah
whatever old news old news is yeah
snow from yesterday schneefall gestern exactly
so you know
it's not like I was either gonna have a career or not
no it was just whatever I wanted to have the experience
(29:07):
but that's okay
I had the experience and made it pretty far
just not as far as I wanted to
but that's okay that's okay
that's okay I think so too good
haha
and then that's pretty much the end of of auditioning
I mean auditioning for schools that was the
that was the next thing like for
for college yeah uh
I was auditioning for a school in Zurich
(29:29):
and didn't get in there
and that was a different reaction from my end though
that was not like not only your end
I think they were just again
managing it very very poorly huh
the people there were managing it poorly huh
okay how so
um
the reasons they gave you not to move on with you huh
(29:50):
mm hmm oh
you are too young you are like too bubbly
too happy too haha
too much too much
you were just too much for them huh
yeah yeah yeah
they were like
we really like you and we'll take you in two years
please come audition again in two years and I'm like
we're talking about the music industry here
(30:10):
the younger the better like
and times are changing
very much so now with social media
but back then you know
more than 10 years ago 11 years ago
that was still very much you know
the younger the better and they were like
no come back in two years
you're too young I'm like
what and also
what do you want me to do for two years
(30:32):
I'm not just gonna wait around
and not do anything for two years
that's not not good
so I was um
also there made it to the last round of auditions
I even took a written test like a music theory test
a performance test a songwriting test
like everything and made it to the very last round
but then you know
and I think the last round were like three of you only
(30:54):
huh left there
yeah yeah
yeah but then
like the reasons they gave you huh
I think they were ridiculous huh
yeah but I mean
it has to be something to
has to have something to do with quality
because personality and so
is always important in business huh
yeah yeah
but of course personality comes with quality
(31:15):
and they didn't lose a word about quality or whatever
uh huh it was just oh
come back in two years yeah
well see
I I think'cause
the guy they ended up choosing'cause the school
they only accept one singer per year
and that's it
and so the guy they ended up choosing was 20
and I think
(31:36):
what happened there was exactly what happened with me
he auditioned earlier as well
this wasn't his first audition
and they told him to come back later
and then they have to take him
if they told him to come back later right
so it's like this this system makes no sense to me
yeah but it is what it is
and you you can't just
you know keep blaming the situation or whatever right
(31:58):
you have to take responsibility as well
but it is what it is but I was definitely
I was upset on the train ride home
because they told me right then and there
like on my last day of auditions
they told me right then and there
we're not gonna take you
we're gonna go with somebody else
so on the train ride home
I was like oh my gosh
I only auditioned for this one school
(32:20):
it is spring and I'm in my senior year
I don't know what I'm gonna be doing now
because I didn't get into that one school
I auditioned for so
I graduated high school
not knowing what I was gonna do
whoopsie maybe don't do that
maybe don't be so cocky ha ha ha
so yeah that was a
that was definitely a more disappointing reaction there
(32:41):
on my end uh
than with the talent shows absolutely
absolutely yeah
but that's also like Switzerland
you have like one opportunity per year only huh
to study what you wanted to study huh
yeah in the all of Switzerland
there was the all of Switzerland
there is one school with one singer
yeah and that's it
(33:01):
that's crazy that's it
that's crazy huh
and that is why I ended up leaving and went to the US
and auditioned for schools there
and got in there
because so many more opportunities there
exactly so yeah yeah
we looked at all different kinds of schools
even in England I think as well
maybe in England Germany
in Germany in uh
I think in Hamburg and in Freiburg
yeah yeah
(33:21):
yeah exactly
I remember there were two schools huh
yeah England
a couple schools huh
but England was a no go for you
awful weather I can't go sit in the rain
I say as I we are currently sitting in the rain here
but it's okay
yeah exactly
I ended up going to the US
(33:42):
I auditioned in the summer
and got accepted for the fall semester
so that that all happened really quickly then
which was cool I think you when did you finish school
July you finish school
yeah and you started in September
yeah in September
yeah but I was auditioning during summer break
so I was auditioning in July and then they were like
(34:03):
yep you can come in September
I was like alright cool
so move to New York and that was exactly cool
I love it well
well well well let's read some of these stories here
um because there's some really crazy stuff in here
I read these in January it is now July
(34:23):
I read these all really long time ago
but I remember both of them and I was like
oh my gosh and let me just it's actually August
oh it's August already that's right
oh it is already August
you are right oh my goodness
cause yesterday was August 1st
which is Switzerland's birthday
how old is Switzerland now
700 something years 734 years
(34:45):
how do you know that
because it's founded in 12 ninety one aha
and Bobby is very good at math like mental math
doing math in his brain
it's incredible what he can do and I'm always like yeah
I am not my father's daughter in that way in that sense
I'm terrible at math but it's OK anyways
I have two and that's why you ended up in music
(35:07):
that's why I ended up in music
because I remember when you graduated
you said
that's the last time in my life I touched a math book
or a
Learned anything about math over yeah
but then in college I had to do math again yeah
but then I didn't ever do it again
and you do it every day now with your little business
(35:27):
huh oh sure
but it's very different than like
algebra and geometry and all that stuff
my my math is very
very simple addition and percentage calculation
I have to do that as well
you see yeah
you have to do budgets and stuff and yeah
no I don't do that I probably should
(35:50):
so the title of this story here is
Am I the a hole
for making my daughter sing at our cruise talent show
okay um
and then we have to give it a verdict as well
is this person an a hole
or did they do everything right
okay alright
to note we are not stage parents
(36:11):
our children tell us their interests
and we support them in pursuing it
so before you read the rest
this is not the same
effort to exploit our kid or make her a star
my wife 49 female
and I 51 male
are on a cruise with our two children
13 female and 7 male our daughter
(36:32):
Allison is an aspiring singer
and has been taking voice lessons for the past year
oh she started at the same age I did hmm
12 and I was almost 13 but anyways
love it okay
one night my wife saw they had a karaoke night
and asked Allison if she wanted to try
she said yes we went to karaoke
which was a dance floor
(36:53):
in the middle of one of the cruises
bar slash restaurant
and she chose dreams by Fleetwood Mac
one of the songs she studied with her teacher
instead of our advice to leave it all on the stage
see she instead
clamped up and mumbled her way through the song
nothing like what she can do
so it sounds like she was very
(37:13):
very nervous yeah
uh I was really disappointed in her
that she decided to take the cowardly route
that's a very strong word
and backed out of giving a full performance
when we got back to the hotel room
I told her the same from what I remembered
I said it was something like Allison
what was that you know
you can do better than this
(37:34):
the night ended on a sour note
as my wife and I more or less repeated the same
and we all went to bed the next morning
things were kind of tense in the air
and my wife had a long talk with her
about pushing her sound out
and not shrinking away
she had to go stand on our room's balcony
and sing a song facing away from us
(37:54):
facing the ocean she had a Pep talk
lesson to embrace her voice and use it
so they made her get out on the balcony
and sing to the ocean as a lesson
so far it's clear for me
I know we have just a little bit more uh
a night or so later
we found out that the cruise also hosts a talent show
so we recommended it for Allison to try it again
(38:16):
this time an opera song Caro Mio Ben
she has she has been studying and she said yes
but I want to make sure I'm not the a hole
what do you think
they are really the parents
unbelievable aren't they
oh my God I mean
(38:36):
if she wants to sing and she goes on stage
and then is nervous and can't perform
I mean you are not like putting pressure on her huh
I mean that's
that's totally the wrong thing to do huh
yeah I mean
don't put pressure huh
I mean how scary is this
support her and help her and tell her yeah
(38:58):
good things huh
positive things and not like
I mean the positive thing was that she went up to stage
she wanted to do it by herself
but then all the rest is just BS
because it is so hard and nerve wracking
to do something like this
as a 13 year old kid she had the guts to do it
(39:18):
got a little nervous
it was probably her first time performing
or maybe her second but whatever
like it's like oh my gosh
I'm so proud of you for doing that good job
like yes
you were nervous you don't have to be like
that was perfect you don't have to do that
but you know she
she did her best and you support her
(39:39):
and then when you make her feel good about it
she can then start becoming more confident and like
alright yes
let's do this again
and she will slowly maturely come out of her shell more
exactly and
and then the lesson to ban her
banish her to the balcony and sing to the ocean now
bullshit what the heck
(39:59):
how stupid is that no
no no
I mean the verdict is clear huh
oh my God what an a hole
and it's not just the dad
cause it sounds like this was the dad writing this
no no
but the mom was the mom was involved there
yeah yeah yeah yeah
no no
no it's
I mean I wouldn't be
surprised if this girl is not singing anymore
yeah probably not huh
(40:21):
yeah and that's so sad
it's just really heartbreaking
cause and then the parents say
oh we are not stage parents and all that
but I mean
still they are looking for something in their daughter
which they couldn't be huh
yeah huh
put pressure on her absolutely
perfect way to put it yeah
yeah it's so sad
cause we deal with singers
that have experienced some sort of trauma like this
(40:44):
all the time and they're like
I haven't sung since I was 15 and I'm now 45
and it's just like oh man
just because they had one bad experience
or somebody said something mean and what not
so ugh
a hole a hole
parents don't do that again
exactly and the verdict on Reddit was also a hole
(41:05):
so I can imagine yep Alrighty
well that's pretty clear
other story this one's a little different Alrighty
am I the a hole
for telling my daughter she is a bad singer
and won't let her be in a singing competition
so the title is like yeah
you probably shouldn't do that
but let's read the story see what happens
(41:25):
uh I know this
I know how this looks but please hear me out
uh this is also a throw away
uh like the account is a throw away
meaning
they just created the account to write that story
and then deleted it again
okay uh
my daughter Layla is going to be a junior next year
so that's the second to last year of high school
(41:46):
uh and ever since she was little
she loved watching shows like American Idol
The Voice etcetera
and dreams of being a famous singer
while I think it's all well and good to sing as a hobby
she's simp she's simply not good at music
Layla has a rather high pitched voice
kind of like a cartoon or young toddler
(42:07):
and when she sings it sounds like nails on a chalkboard
and I'm certain she's tone deaf
because she insists her voice is not high at all
I know that's awful as a mom to say
but it's true we even hired a vocal coach before Covid
and the lady outright told me
she felt guilty about taking my money
because she simply has no musical talent
(42:28):
in her words oh
that's heartbreaking uh
she loves to sing at family events
and it always results in chuckles at best
or insults at worst from younger kids
she's always kept her head up though
and never let these comments get to her
which I admire a lot
but I wish she had more realistic adult plans by now
(42:50):
cause remember she's like 17
18 something like that
uh Layla's grades have been struggling for years
mostly D's uh
and we argue about it all the time
her excuse is always I don't need to learn this
because I will be a famous singer
this obsession has me become
has become a legitimate problem
(43:11):
because she shoots down anything unrelated to singing
when it comes to thinking about college or a job
which she also insists she will never need
because she will one day become a world famous singer
Today I told her she should be looking for a summer job
and again
she refused and said now that she's old enough
she wants to audition for a singing competition
(43:32):
undecided on which one I know these shows
most of them
will have poor singer audition only to mock them on TV
we have that here in Switzerland and Germany as well
or Germany mostly I am not letting that happen to Layla
and I told her I am no longer tolerating this obsession
and that she needs to apply herself in other areas soon
(43:52):
if she hopes to get any sort of career
because she simply is not a good singer
she started bawling and called me an abusive mother
I feel like an a hole now
and am not sure
if I should have handled it differently
so am I the a hole
no
yeah no
this is a tough situation
(44:13):
I agree tough situation
but I would say no
because the mother tries to do expectation management
yes huh
yes the mother tries to do the best for her daughter
huh I mean
she can continue taking voice lessons if the mother
can afford it huh
or the family can afford it
(44:35):
and maybe she can be a comedian one day
huh with her bad voice
I don't know but don't really I mean
just let her go away with that dream huh
and not do anything else huh
yeah I mean
that even if you are a very talented singer
you shouldn't let somebody go away with
(44:56):
just following that route
and nothing else and not having an alternative yeah
that's more my point huh
because things can happen
huh in your career whatever huh
oh it's so
and I mean it's so yeah
yeah it's luck luck
luck huh
and so I mean
and if you're like
bass is as bad as apparently it is here with this girl
(45:19):
I mean it's like me
I want to become a famous singer yeah no way
no way I can dream about it as much as I want
but I can just not sing and period
that's it yeah
and I mean you really have to find a way
to tell your girl what she has to do
(45:40):
or show her alternatives
really find alternatives find another passion
find another interest yeah
she can really move forward huh
but um
I think that's the job of parents in any case huh
yeah find out where the heart is huh
at the end of the day okay
her heart seems to be in singing only
(46:03):
but maybe I don't know
maybe her heart is also in horses and
uh huh whatsoever something yeah
godly like
it's hard when where your heart is
like you say like your passion
what you really wanna
do is not where you're excelling at
(46:24):
mm hmm right
where it's like ugh
nope not quite but also I have to say to the mom
you know like was supportive in the sense of like
alright let's get you enrolled in some voice lessons
cause we need some training here
this is not gonna this is not gonna work right
that's good but she didn't say that from the beginning
it was like yeah
let's get you some voice lessons and I think that's
(46:45):
that's a great step uh
what
I don't find so great is what the voice teacher said um
and she said like I feel bad for taking your money
because this girl has zero musical talent
but I'm quite sure she told that to the mother
and not to the kid of course
of course so I
I would hope so I mean
because the
I think it's also the voice teacher's responsibility
(47:09):
to inform the parents
if they feel like this is an absolute waste of money
huh yes
so but you can say you can say in a way
I'm not sure
the voice teacher didn't say that in this way
that I feel bad to take your money
but for sure the voice teacher more said hey
(47:30):
I mean this is going to be a long
a tough road here and the yeah
the success is very unlikely that I mean
the chances are like with everybody
but even a little bit slimmer than with everybody else
yeah I mean
that's what you can say
and I'm sure the voice teacher was not so blunt
and just said oh
forget it well you'd be surprised really there
(47:52):
there are quite a few people that
that would do something like that
so for I think as a as a voice teacher myself
I think it's also a part of expectation management
that we have to do all the time as well true
I unless the
the person literally cannot match pitch
and also cannot hear
when I am not matching pitch with something
(48:15):
if that's the case I would have to be like hey
it looks like we have a case of like true tone deafness
this goes beyond my expertise
like I don't know how to help you in this case um
I would love for you to go like
find somebody else who maybe
you know
specializes in pitch because that's the foundation
(48:37):
right like yeah
pitch has to be there if you can't sing the right notes
it's gonna be really difficult uh
and so you know
like I would refer to to somebody else
but like be like I can't help you with this uh
but if that's not the case
if they can hear or they're
they just need a lot of a lot of training
I will be upfront and tell them look
we can do this
but it's gonna be probably six months of doing stuff
(49:00):
you don't wanna do and you're gonna get annoyed
and you're not gonna wanna do it
but you have to do this stuff and it's boring as heck
but that's how you're gonna get better
and then once we get beyond that hurdle
then it starts getting fun
but it's gonna be not so fun for a long time
do you want to do this
I will help you if if the answer is yes if not alright
(49:22):
then yeah then I can't help you yeah
but that's said in a professional way yeah
that's how it should be done yeah
that's how it should be done huh
you explain it in a professional way and yeah
I mean I was expecting that
the voice teacher told that
the mother in a quite a professional way as well huh
I hope so yeah and not just say oh forget your kid yeah
(49:44):
but keep your money yeah
keep your money spend it for a nice piece of clothes
whatever yeah
yeah huh yeah
yeah but yeah
it's it's tough when you
when your kid wants to do something and it's like at
there's no way in hell this is gonna
this is gonna work it's tough for the parent
but I think at some point
you do have to put your foot down
(50:05):
especially this girl is gonna be like
you know she just one more year in school
she has to figure out does she want to go to college
like what does she want to do
cause it's just like you said
even if
if she has a ton of talent and is an amazing singer
you can't just be like I'm not gonna do anything
I'm just gonna become a world famous singer
it's just no very unlikely
(50:28):
very very unlikely huh
yeah yeah
that's tough yeah yeah
what would you have done had this been the case for me
or for Nico you know
Nico's a race car driver and maybe he loved it
but was just always in the back of the races
was not doing a good job what would you have done
not paying anymore hahaha
(50:48):
there you go no cutting you off very no
it's it's really true
yeah it's really true
because then you tell him hey
now it's your time to figure out how you can do racing
I mean how you can afford it and how you can go for it
yeah and it's I mean
(51:09):
we'd never had a plan B with either of you huh
with you or with Nico huh
yeah it was always going this one route
but always with milestones
mm mm hmm always with milestones
because you say OK
the next year then there is a milestone
(51:30):
and then there is a milestone again
and if this milestone is missed
then you need another plan huh
yeah but
and I think this is legitimate huh
if you do it this way huh
yeah so
you can focus on what you do and what you want to do
and what you love to do mm hmm
so plan B from beginning on or having like Plan a B
(51:55):
C d
and try to pursue all of them will not work out either
huh yeah
yeah that will not work out either
so
but you have to have the milestones
and apparently here I mean
you can set milestones with that girl as well huh
I mean if she doesn't find voice teachers anymore
which wanna teach her yeah
(52:16):
that's probably also a sign
and a milestone in her career as a singer
yeah it can be a milestone
as you said maybe
she has to go to a doctor
and find out what is wrong with her
I mean are her ears good enough
is her hearing good enough
yeah for singing
because apparently she feels that she has a good voice
(52:38):
and everybody else tells something else
yeah so that's also a milestone
and then from there you can take decisions
oh maybe she needs therapy
maybe she needs specialists whatsoever
yeah and then suddenly it clicks and she yeah
it goes
so you need milestones in your life and move forward
(53:00):
and yeah a plan a is the strongest plan
uh huh huh
yeah that is yeah
I like that I like that a lot
good advice I'm noting that in my brain
I'm noting that in my brain
so overall would you recommend to parents
if their kid wants to do a talent show
would you recommend they let their kid try
(53:21):
or would you be like stay away from those shows
no I mean
their kids can try but like really prepare them for it
huh
don't like encourage them and tell them oh
when you come back you will be the star and you will
yeah have 2 million followers on Instagram and all that
and your life is gonna be easy and you'll
you'll be you just take a couple pictures and that's it
(53:43):
and so do manage the expectations
mm hmm your own expectations
first of all
I think lots of parents have problems with ex um
managing their own expectations
ha mm hmm
I mean they see the star in their kid huh
yeah because I can understand that
(54:04):
I never saw the star in the kid
I always had the love for my kids
and try to make things for them possible huh
and at the end of the day
when they're successful you're happy
you're even proud but hey
it's the kids it's not me huh
you make it for them and not for yourself huh
(54:24):
and the parents they try to do it for themselves
for the missed career for the missed dreams
which never came through or whatsoever huh
but it's it's really
you do it for the kids
and you are there for your kids when you have kids
otherwise better don't have kids yeah
(54:45):
well I
as you can see
I am very lucky to have such wonderful parents
so supportive and not you know
too pushy but also
you know like you can expect a commitment then
I mean when you
give the opportunity to your kids to do something
you expect commitment yeah
(55:05):
you expect that they work for that
yeah and not
I mean and that's another milestone
if you see like them not being interested anymore
do other stuff I mean
why do you want to spend your money for that huh
I mean then you give
have to give them a reality check
yeah huh
very important huh
(55:26):
I mean reality is tough huh
raising kids sounds hard
I don't know if I'm cut out for that
it sounds so hard
I think it's not hard at all
no no
I never felt it this hard
not at all okay
not at all I mean
I enjoyed it
and I still enjoy it today with you and with Nico
and I mean that's because I am an angel
(55:48):
you are an angel absolutely
you are an angel and um
and Nico is an angel too of course
yeah um huh
but you raised us to be angels
ha ha
ha ha
no I think mom did it mainly
Mommy did yeah
mom did it mainly I think it takes two though
because she is the angel in the family
(56:09):
ha oh
I think we're all just little angels
yeah you are
but yeah I'm not really an angel huh
yes you are
yes you are
I love it it's so
but I mean
we are fortunate because we
as parents we don't struggle in our life huh
(56:31):
so it's much easier then
to give your kids opportunities
and help them to fulfill dreams and all that huh
yeah because we were always on the sunny side
or on the lucky side of life
yeah huh
yeah that is true
I mean we started with nothing huh
and um
but we were lucky mm hmm
and me and hard working yeah
(56:52):
but luck is like the most important huh
I mean you can hard working
be hard working and work three jobs
and you still don't get anywhere
yes yes
that is very true that is very true
so you have to have luck as well in life huh
and if you have that luck
then it's the best if you share it with your kids
yeah so that's what we do
(57:14):
and we are sure that
once we are not on the lucky side anymore
we have our kids which will
yes but we are staying on the lucky side
that's true
let's stay there
putting out good voodoo juice to stay on that
stay on the lucky side of life
that's that's very true
that's very true
but I'm just very fortunate to be born in this family
(57:39):
hahaha and have such great support
I think cause you know there's
there's other families that are very well off
and also on the lucky side
but the parents are for some reason
still just not happy or not supportive
and I mean even I see this with grant actually
he's like oh man
I just really hope that whenever we have kids
that our kids don't wanna go into racing or music
(58:00):
because I'm gonna have to tell them that it's possible
because both you and your brother did it
and I don't wanna have to deal with that
but obviously he would support because I would be like
no we're doing this because my parents let me do it
we're doing the same yeah um
but you know he's an engineer
and very much more like the traditional route
(58:21):
so yeah he he struggles with that a little bit yeah
he struggles with that thought
but at the end of the day
you want the best for your kids
of course and if you can afford it
you do it I say it's my yeah
philosophy huh
yeah yeah
you try to make it possible
well
and luckily these talent shows they're free or very
very very cheap yeah
(58:42):
so it is an experience that you can give your children
for almost nothing um
or nothing like monetary wise
so let them let them try it and see how it goes
and I totally understand this mom
not wanting her daughter to do it
because she was scared that they're gonna use her
as a bad example yeah
exactly on TV exactly
and I get that they wanna
(59:05):
you know be protective of that
but then you can just audition for shows
that don't have that aspect
for example The Voice doesn't have that
they don't have the bad auditions
where they make fun of the singer or whatever
so just guide
your kid towards a show that doesn't have that
maybe
so they still get the feedback from professionals
they still get the know there
(59:27):
but there's no risk of them being humiliated on TV
in front of the entire country yeah
absolutely I love it
and um
would I see the
if parents are not allowing their kids to do that
it's mostly because they don't wanna compromise
their own life hmm
just another little thought here huh
(59:47):
okay because if you support your kids
that means a lot of compromises with your own life
with your own activities with your own interests yeah
if the kids are moving deeper and deeper into something
huh yeah
then yeah it means more commitment from parents huh
yeah
even if you are on the sunny side of life monetary wise
(01:00:09):
if you have lots of money and all that
the self love they have uh
for their own hobbies activities and so on
sometimes
really prevents them from supporting the kids huh
hmm huh uh huh
the journey uh huh
is the for me
(01:00:29):
it was more about the journey and not about the result
huh because the journey was interesting too for me huh
yeah I mean
it gets me out of my boring life
uh huh
everyday daily life
everyday daily job
everything
and to join me there I mean
at the end of the day
I mean you were Mori's mom in New York
(01:00:52):
yeah all that
or she visited you like every three minutes she could
huh she was in New York
I was in New York seven uh sorry
I was in New York 18 months
one and a half years
and we were just talking about this
she came to visit me seven times OK
you see
in in one and a/2 years
which is a lot
flying across the Atlantic back and forth
(01:01:13):
and for her it was the best time in her life huh
yeah like experiencing that with you huh
I spent like I don't know 20
30 weekends a year with Nico on the race tracks
for many many years
yeah and um
so that was the journey and um
now you are independent Nico is independent
(01:01:34):
and now we we can live our life again huh
yeah yeah
so it's all good it's all fine huh
and we can enjoy it from far
it's even better huh
yeah exactly
but you enabled us to get here
so yeah
but we can enjoy it from far
and we can still live our life at the fullest huh
yeah yeah
(01:01:55):
oh well
thank you for all the sacrifices you made
for all the support you gave us
for driving me to auditions
talent shows and setting expectations
so that I wouldn't be so disappointed
it really worked it really worked
it worked yeah
it worked I love it
yeah thank you
but we knew it's gonna work out no yeah
(01:02:16):
well thank you so much
Bobby for joining me for this episode
I appreciate it and that's it right
anything else you wanna say
no no
no no no
OK it's all fine
love you puppy love you Lara
thank you thank you
thank you thank you guys for watching
we'll see you in the next episode
and until then check out the links for some resources
we'll see you there alright bye
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