September 17, 2024 • 22 mins
Summary:
In this episode, Cielle shares insights about decision-making. She dives into the real struggle of self-doubt after making choices, sharing the tip that we can choose to make our decisions "right" for us in that moment, and the value of trusting past decisions. Cielle also talks about why your journey and personal growth from making decisions matter more than the final outcome, encouraging you to embrace the process and the lessons you pick up along the way. Whether you're feeling unsure about a big decision or just want to learn how to trust your path, this episode has you covered.
Keywords:
decision-making tips for young adults, self doubt after decisions, trust yourself, genz, personal growth from decisions, embracing the journey, decision making, commitment, choices, life lessons, journey, self-reflection
Takeaways:
- Self-doubt loves to show up after we make a decision — it’s totally normal.
- Committing to a choice is how you actually live that choice.
- Trusting your past decisions can help quiet the self-doubt noise.
- Honestly, the journey usually teaches you way more than the destination.
- Making decisions means juggling a lot of different things — it’s not always simple.
- It’s okay to change your mind! That’s part of the process.
- Walking your path often leads to surprises you never saw coming. Seriously!
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Personal Story 03:49 Committing to a Choice Matters 07:25 Committing to a Choice is an Action 10:30 When Choosing brings up a Doubting Spiral 12:34 Trusting Your Past Self's Decision-Making 15:22 Changing Paths and Experiencing the Journey 16:55 The Purpose of Making Choices 19:32 Conclusion 20:17 Engage and Connect with the Podcast 21:40 Supporting the Podcast Community
As always, a big thank you to my amazingly wonderful and very cute husband for the intro- and to my friends, Miracle Laurie and Bobbo Byrnes, for their song Effin' Groovy in the outro. Both of these humans have NEW albums out now- that are REAL good- so go check them out too.
Thank you for taking a listen!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:52):
Hello y 'all, welcome to episode 10.
I'm so excited to have you here and I'm so glad that we made it to 10 episodes.
10 is a good number for me.
My birthday is 1010.
I love seeing 1010 on the clocks, but it's actually super relevant because TENS has beenflown around this house.
(01:17):
often in the past couple of weeks.
So I have a little story, a little background information on why.
So my husband and my friend, we have a friend visiting in town around the Olympics.
It sort of came out that 14 year old CL who used to live in Strasbourg, France, used togo.
(01:42):
to the bridges.
So underneath the bridges is where breakdancing happened in France and Germany in the 90s.
And 14 year old CL would go underneath these bridges to go breakdance primarily to watchbreakdancing.
But when my friend and my husband found this out, they were so excited.
(02:06):
know it sounds a little shady now that I'm saying it out loud.
So
I'm alive.
I made it.
I made it.
And maybe 90s versus 2024 is a very different thing.
that's where the break dancing was happening over there.
Now fast forward around that same time, we were cleaning out a closet because my friend isan actor and we were creating a sound studio for her in that closet.
(02:33):
And I found a picture.
So there was a picture right in that closet that had
10s, T -E -N -Z, tagged on this big cement wall with one love CL that was created by myboyfriend at the time and
So they freaked out because this was the same time.
This was the boyfriend that I had at the time when I was 14 and all the things.
(02:56):
And they were like, my gosh, your break dancing name was Tens and we didn't even know.
So have they been calling me 10s at random times over the last few weeks?
Yes, they have.
They think that it was my break dancing street name that somehow I was real good.
(03:16):
I was not y 'all so
I'll just let y 'all know they can keep thinking how amazing I was at 14.
Y 'all, I was not one of the people in the center of the crowd doing all the tricks.
I was the crowd.
I was dancing in the background trying to do some moves, but mostly just cheering on andwanting to see amazing dancing.
(03:39):
That was me.
Also, my boyfriend tagging 10s was not because I'm a cool ass.
break street dancer type human being that has a really kick ass name.
I have a feeling it was probably related to my birthday being 1010.
I actually don't remember.
Maybe it's because he thought I was 10s, like a 10 out of 10.
(04:01):
Yeah, that doesn't sound as cool.
So anyways, that's what's been going on with 10s in my life recently.
And so now of course I'm recording episode 10 and it just makes me happy on a whole bunchof levels.
That's probably not the reason that you're here.
I promise are other reasons to come to this podcast to listen to it other than to hearabout 14 year old CL and her nickname, not so nickname 10s back in the day.
(04:30):
You know what?
I'm gonna see if I can include that photo as cover art somewhere In any case, the topic ofthis episode is continue to talk about choice.
specifically to alleviate the nya nya nya self doubt.
Did I make the right choices for myself?
Nagging mean head voice that we have and I already did an episode.
(04:55):
So episode two was really related to how do I make choices for myself?
How do I define what right is for me?
It really was about the how of making
these adulting choices that feel really great to us.
This episode is one step further.
It's once you've made the choice, how do you?
(05:17):
minimize the self doubt that can happen once we make a choice and we commit and thenwonder at that point
Should I have made another choice?
How do I know that this choice that I made is actually the right choice?
If it feels awful and you want to make another choice, how do you not berate yourself forthat original choice that you made?
How many times can I say choice in a row?
(05:38):
A lot.
So that is what we are going to be talking about today.
and I have a little bit of a tool that may help.
but before we go into that tool, I think it's really important to talk about committing toa choice.
because so often we stay in the fluidity or the enigma or the wondering or the thinkingabout, ooh, that's it.
(06:03):
It's the thinking about making a choice.
We have all of these options and we spend so much time trying to weigh the options out andfigure out what's best for us.
And we're in this nebulous time that can be anxiety provoking or uncomfortable.
Sometimes it could feel really good.
noticing that you have all these possibilities and sometimes it can feel real yuck.
(06:26):
So there's this thinking about a choice is different than committing to a choice.
And I think it's important to understand that it's only by committing to the choice,committing, making a decision, saying, yes, I'm gonna go for this thing, that we start to
experience what it's like to be on that path based on the choice that we've made.
(06:52):
We actually can't experience that choice.
We can't know if that choice was right for us.
We can't know what the end game is going to be by
thinking about it.
So here's an analogy.
Think about hiking.
Yes, I do love hiking and it turns out I live in Colorado, so even better.
So we're gonna think about hiking here.
And we are at an impasse.
(07:14):
There are three different paths that we can go on to get up this mountain.
can spend a lot of time looking at those arrows, doing our research to figure out whereeach path is gonna go, what the incline is, how long it is, how many miles it's gonna
cover, when's it gonna bring us back, where is it actually going to lead to?
(07:35):
So of course we can do the research, but at some point...
We've got to choose, we've got to commit to one of those paths to go down to actuallycomplete this dang hike.
Furthermore, it's only by walking and committing to that dang path, whatever route we'vechosen, that we're actually going to experience and know what it's like on that path.
(07:57):
Can y 'all see that we can't know what the path is gonna look like
when we're looking at the arrows and looking at our maps and looking at our phones.
Similarly to life, y 'all, we actually don't know what it's going to be like to live thedecisions that we make, to live the choices that we make until we actually commit to it.
(08:17):
Now I would actually say that the commitment, the saying yes, going full send intowhatever that is, is actually the action to take.
Actually the action.
Look at me.
Alliterating.
And am I thinking about alliteration because I now have a high schooler who is writinganalytical essays needing to use and analyze alliteration?
(08:38):
Yes, I am.
That is a story for another day.
but actually within ourselves committing to a decision is the action and actually shifts.
As soon as we do that, we're actually living that experience of making that choice.
So think about a vacation, y 'all.
(08:58):
When you commit to going on vacation and taking the time off, is it not instantaneous thatlife changes your vision of that week or two weeks or month?
shifts.
Maybe it's even a day.
Maybe even you say, I'm going to take tomorrow off.
You put it in, it gets accepted and tomorrow is off.
It changes how today goes.
(09:21):
It changes the decisions that you're going to make today.
It changes how you feel today.
Once you commit to a vacation,
You in real time right now decisions and choices on for example where to go.
Once you decide where you're going, it then narrows down the scope for you to start tolook at
(09:42):
places you want to eat, things you want to see, how you're going to feel.
It gets you excited.
What are you going to dress like?
by committing actually starts the experience of whatever you've committed to.
I think about that related to the hiking analogy because so often
we think about the action of walking.
(10:02):
Once you take a path, it really is walking the path.
And yes, it's important.
but let's say we're still trying to decide what kind of hike we're going to take.
Are we going to climb a 14 or are we going to do a 30 minute hike?
Are we going to do a three hour hike?
We've got to plan differently for all of those things.
It's only by choosing one.
(10:23):
that you're going to then be able to plan accordingly.
You're gonna plan what you wear differently and what shoes you take and are you going totake walking sticks and what time are you going to leave and who's gonna go with you?
What is your emergency?
backup going to look like what snacks are you going to bring?
Are you going to bring a tent?
Are you going to take a car?
(10:43):
Are you gonna take a Jeep?
All of those things that we consider, that we plan for happen as soon as you commit.
So saying that you're going to do a 14 -er is going to lead you on a different path, evenin preparation, than doing a one -hour.
hike two miles down the road.
(11:03):
Can y 'all get the distinction of commitment, committing to a choice, committing to adecision?
Now here's what happens often, and I'll just say that it happens with me very often, and Iam getting better and better and better at it.
So yay me, but this has not always been a strong suit of mine, is the.
not making myself wrong for the choices I have already made.
(11:28):
What I tend to do when I make a decision and I realize that perhaps there may have been adifferent option as I'm already hiking, as I'm already on vacation, I've already chosen
the restaurant, I've already said what I wanted to do and we are there.
And then, for example, my kids aren't happy.
(11:48):
And I can spiral y 'all.
I can spiral with the best of them.
My brain goes to, I should have made a different choice.
I should have known better.
I should have had different information.
I should have trusted this part.
I should have listened to him.
And then I spiral further into what I do is never enough.
I always make the wrong choice.
I can't ever trust what I wanna do because it always ends up awful.
(12:11):
Here I go again, making a wrong choice.
here I go again, upsetting somebody else.
Y 'all, all of those are false.
I also know that I'm not the only one to sort of doubt this spiral.
How do I know that?
So in conversations with me, what that often looks like is asking me for advice.
(12:31):
So I often have students or clients or friends say, well, what do think about that choice?
What do you think I should do?
Would you be proud of me?
What do you think about this thing?
I just want you to tell me what to do.
It's all part of the same version of that self doubt that happens even once we've made thechoice or the decision or the commitment.
(12:53):
So first I want to say normal and it doesn't have to be that way.
So one thing.
that we can do to alleviate that is we can actually choose to make our decision the rightdecision for us in that moment.
We can actually just say, that choice that I made, yeah, it was right for me at the time.
(13:16):
Yeah, that decision that I made an hour ago, a week ago, a year ago, absolutely the rightdecision for me at that time.
What does that do?
It first allows us to trust that we considered all the information that we had at thatpoint in order to make that decision.
(13:38):
It's not like we wanted to make a piss poor decision that we were going to berateourselves for for the next 24 hours or 17 years.
It's not like we consciously chose to do that.
It's not like, yeah, I'm gonna make a choice.
I'm gonna choose an awful choice for myself.
Because I think that's fun!
No, y 'all.
One thing I do actually know to be true in the thousands and thousands of conversationsthat I've had with other humans is that we are actually doing our best.
(14:07):
We want to live amazing lives.
We want to live fulfilling lives.
We want to make whatever this deemed right choice is, right choices are for us.
and we actually take a lot of things into consideration.
So let's give ourselves some grace there.
Let's actually give ourselves some accolades and say, yes, considered a lot of thingsbefore we made this decision.
(14:30):
Some of y 'all, it might be an amazing spreadsheet or you love pro con lists and that'show you make your choices and your decisions.
Amazing.
Some of y 'all might go by gut.
Some of y 'all might go by a giddy, right?
For me sometimes it's like, ooh, when I feel that giddiness of excitement, it's like, ooh,that's a go.
my gosh, I have a girlfriend who's also a coach.
(14:51):
She gave me the best one.
She goes by how her a -hole feels.
Am I allowed to say that on a podcast?
We're going there.
So of course I burst out laughing and I said, my gosh, you have to tell me more.
She goes, okay, when her...
a hole when her a hole is clenched, she knows.
(15:13):
This is not the right decision for me.
She wants it relaxed.
She wants her booty to be relaxed.
And when it's relaxed, it's a good sign.
that it is a green light go.
Isn't that so good?
Love it.
So maybe that's what you use.
Maybe you use your values or your priorities at the time or your circumstances or yourenergy levels or what your capacity holds at any given time, where you're going, what is
(15:41):
important to you, your time.
Have I said all of these?
I feel like I'm repeating myself.
Can you all see that we take a variety of factors into account whenever we make choices?
So we get to actually trust that our past self did that too.
That our past self wanted what's best for us.
We can give them that benefit of the doubt and say, thank you.
(16:03):
Thank you for taking all of those things into consideration.
And I can trust that CL one year ago made that choice because it was the best choice forher.
Am I still in it?
Maybe not.
But that's because CL now has different information.
And so I'm gonna make different choices.
(16:25):
Also, I've been on that path for a year.
I've been hiking that trail for a year so I know what it's like.
I know what I like on that trail.
I know what I don't like on that trail.
I know if I wanna keep going.
I know if I wanna stop.
And so along any point of me walking that...
decision over the past year, I get to change my mind and say, ha ha ha, now that I knowthis, am I going to continue or am going to get off of it and choose a different path?
(16:54):
So the tool, my friends here is one way of alleviating that self doubt that we have thespiraling of berating ourselves for making mistakes or choices in the past is we can
actually just choose that the decision that we made was right for us at the time.
(17:14):
We can just decide.
that our choices that we make are right for us and let it be done.
allow there to be some calm and some peace about it.
See, even the computer is saying thumbs up.
Y 'all on audio, my screen just thumbs up to me.
I know it's because I made hand gestures, but also perfect timing.
(17:35):
What else do want to say about choices?
I this actually leads us to the purpose or a main purpose of making choices is toexperience what that path is like.
I think this actually leads to a fallacy that we have related to choices and decisionsthat we make and maybe even goals is that there's a lot of emphasis on the end point.
(17:59):
The purpose of a goal or to make a choice is to actually get to the end.
Y 'all, if we think about vacation, that's actually not true.
The end of a vacation, the end point of the vacation is us being at home.
So really we don't have to go on vacation at all.
If that's the goal, the purpose is always to get to the end point.
(18:20):
We could have just stayed at home.
Instead, the purpose of making a choice can actually be to experience what it's like onthat journey.
To experience what that route is like hiking up that mountain.
to experience what it's like to be in that location of choice for your vacation.
(18:43):
That's the joy!
Isn't that the point?
The point is to actually be on that journey.
now I feel like I'm sounding like a greeting card or some sort of affirmation.
Why I'm bringing this up though is because I really want to emphasize.
(19:03):
that if you change your mind along the way, that's normal.
The point was for you to experience what it's like down that path of your choice.
And on that path, you're gonna realize, there's actually...
a meadow of wildflowers.
(19:24):
That's amazing.
I want to stop and rest.
along that path, you might realize that there is actually,
A trail that hasn't been marked on any of the maps that you've seen, but it looks superfun and you're gonna go for it.
You would not know that those are available to you unless you committed to that path inthe first place, unless you committed to that trail.
(19:48):
And now that you're on that trail, it now opens up different things for you.
And at those moments in time, you get to choose again.
Yes, I'm gonna go down the wildflower path.
Yes, I'm gonna go to Italy because...
My friend from Greece offered that to me and I didn't know that that was possible.
(20:09):
I just thought I was gonna stay in Crete.
But look at me going to Italy now.
Y 'all, it's all a win.
It's all a consequence of you having the freaking bravery and courage to commit to achoice in the first place
and follow it.
And as soon as you did that, as soon as you were able to experience what that was like,there's going to be new options that are available to you.
(20:35):
And welcome to the rest of your life.
All right.
Well, I hope that helped.
Of course, if you have any questions, let me know.
If you have any concerns, let me know.
If you don't agree with me, let me know.
And if this helped in any way, I would love, love, love, love, love, love to know.
So thank you for being here on my episode number 10 from 10s.
(20:59):
Also born on 1010, who may be 10 out of 10 for some human beings in her circle.
I adore you till the next time.
I realize that we are at the beginning of our podcasting journey together.
However, if you are already excited, already wanting to share this with people in yourlives, already thinking that it would be beneficial to have these conversations on a more
(21:29):
global scale, there are ways that you could support that.
The main ways is to like...
follow and subscribe on which ever platform you are watching or listening to me on.
You could always comment.
I would love to know what you found helpful or interesting in any of the episodes.
And of course, if you have ideas about what conversations, what topics you would like tocover in the future, please let me know.
(21:58):
Again, this podcast is for you.
Other ways that you can find me are on social.
So I am on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Cielle Amundson.
That is at C I E L L E A M U N D S O N.
Find me there, say hi, let's start a conversation.
(22:22):
And if this is something that you think other people in your lives would love to be a partof, would love to hear, would love to be in conversation with,
please share this with them.
Thank you again and I look forward to seeing you or having you at the next episode.
Hello y 'all, welcome to episode 10.
I'm so excited to have you here and I'm so glad that we made it to 10 episodes.
10 is a good number for me.
My birthday is 1010.
I love seeing 1010 on the clocks, but it's actually super relevant because TENS has beenflown around this house.
(01:17):
often in the past couple of weeks.
So I have a little story, a little background information on why.
So my husband and my friend, we have a friend visiting in town around the Olympics.
It sort of came out that 14 year old CL who used to live in Strasbourg, France, used togo.
(01:42):
to the bridges.
So underneath the bridges is where breakdancing happened in France and Germany in the 90s.
And 14 year old CL would go underneath these bridges to go breakdance primarily to watchbreakdancing.
But when my friend and my husband found this out, they were so excited.
(02:06):
know it sounds a little shady now that I'm saying it out loud.
So
I'm alive.
I made it.
I made it.
And maybe 90s versus 2024 is a very different thing.
that's where the break dancing was happening over there.
Now fast forward around that same time, we were cleaning out a closet because my friend isan actor and we were creating a sound studio for her in that closet.
(02:33):
And I found a picture.
So there was a picture right in that closet that had
10s, T -E -N -Z, tagged on this big cement wall with one love CL that was created by myboyfriend at the time and
So they freaked out because this was the same time.
This was the boyfriend that I had at the time when I was 14 and all the things.
(02:56):
And they were like, my gosh, your break dancing name was Tens and we didn't even know.
So have they been calling me 10s at random times over the last few weeks?
Yes, they have.
They think that it was my break dancing street name that somehow I was real good.
(03:16):
I was not y 'all so
I'll just let y 'all know they can keep thinking how amazing I was at 14.
Y 'all, I was not one of the people in the center of the crowd doing all the tricks.
I was the crowd.
I was dancing in the background trying to do some moves, but mostly just cheering on andwanting to see amazing dancing.
(03:39):
That was me.
Also, my boyfriend tagging 10s was not because I'm a cool ass.
break street dancer type human being that has a really kick ass name.
I have a feeling it was probably related to my birthday being 1010.
I actually don't remember.
Maybe it's because he thought I was 10s, like a 10 out of 10.
(04:01):
Yeah, that doesn't sound as cool.
So anyways, that's what's been going on with 10s in my life recently.
And so now of course I'm recording episode 10 and it just makes me happy on a whole bunchof levels.
That's probably not the reason that you're here.
I promise are other reasons to come to this podcast to listen to it other than to hearabout 14 year old CL and her nickname, not so nickname 10s back in the day.
(04:30):
You know what?
I'm gonna see if I can include that photo as cover art somewhere In any case, the topic ofthis episode is continue to talk about choice.
specifically to alleviate the nya nya nya self doubt.
Did I make the right choices for myself?
Nagging mean head voice that we have and I already did an episode.
(04:55):
So episode two was really related to how do I make choices for myself?
How do I define what right is for me?
It really was about the how of making
these adulting choices that feel really great to us.
This episode is one step further.
It's once you've made the choice, how do you?
(05:17):
minimize the self doubt that can happen once we make a choice and we commit and thenwonder at that point
Should I have made another choice?
How do I know that this choice that I made is actually the right choice?
If it feels awful and you want to make another choice, how do you not berate yourself forthat original choice that you made?
How many times can I say choice in a row?
(05:38):
A lot.
So that is what we are going to be talking about today.
and I have a little bit of a tool that may help.
but before we go into that tool, I think it's really important to talk about committing toa choice.
because so often we stay in the fluidity or the enigma or the wondering or the thinkingabout, ooh, that's it.
(06:03):
It's the thinking about making a choice.
We have all of these options and we spend so much time trying to weigh the options out andfigure out what's best for us.
And we're in this nebulous time that can be anxiety provoking or uncomfortable.
Sometimes it could feel really good.
noticing that you have all these possibilities and sometimes it can feel real yuck.
(06:26):
So there's this thinking about a choice is different than committing to a choice.
And I think it's important to understand that it's only by committing to the choice,committing, making a decision, saying, yes, I'm gonna go for this thing, that we start to
experience what it's like to be on that path based on the choice that we've made.
(06:52):
We actually can't experience that choice.
We can't know if that choice was right for us.
We can't know what the end game is going to be by
thinking about it.
So here's an analogy.
Think about hiking.
Yes, I do love hiking and it turns out I live in Colorado, so even better.
So we're gonna think about hiking here.
And we are at an impasse.
(07:14):
There are three different paths that we can go on to get up this mountain.
can spend a lot of time looking at those arrows, doing our research to figure out whereeach path is gonna go, what the incline is, how long it is, how many miles it's gonna
cover, when's it gonna bring us back, where is it actually going to lead to?
(07:35):
So of course we can do the research, but at some point...
We've got to choose, we've got to commit to one of those paths to go down to actuallycomplete this dang hike.
Furthermore, it's only by walking and committing to that dang path, whatever route we'vechosen, that we're actually going to experience and know what it's like on that path.
(07:57):
Can y 'all see that we can't know what the path is gonna look like
when we're looking at the arrows and looking at our maps and looking at our phones.
Similarly to life, y 'all, we actually don't know what it's going to be like to live thedecisions that we make, to live the choices that we make until we actually commit to it.
(08:17):
Now I would actually say that the commitment, the saying yes, going full send intowhatever that is, is actually the action to take.
Actually the action.
Look at me.
Alliterating.
And am I thinking about alliteration because I now have a high schooler who is writinganalytical essays needing to use and analyze alliteration?
(08:38):
Yes, I am.
That is a story for another day.
but actually within ourselves committing to a decision is the action and actually shifts.
As soon as we do that, we're actually living that experience of making that choice.
So think about a vacation, y 'all.
(08:58):
When you commit to going on vacation and taking the time off, is it not instantaneous thatlife changes your vision of that week or two weeks or month?
shifts.
Maybe it's even a day.
Maybe even you say, I'm going to take tomorrow off.
You put it in, it gets accepted and tomorrow is off.
It changes how today goes.
(09:21):
It changes the decisions that you're going to make today.
It changes how you feel today.
Once you commit to a vacation,
You in real time right now decisions and choices on for example where to go.
Once you decide where you're going, it then narrows down the scope for you to start tolook at
(09:42):
places you want to eat, things you want to see, how you're going to feel.
It gets you excited.
What are you going to dress like?
by committing actually starts the experience of whatever you've committed to.
I think about that related to the hiking analogy because so often
we think about the action of walking.
(10:02):
Once you take a path, it really is walking the path.
And yes, it's important.
but let's say we're still trying to decide what kind of hike we're going to take.
Are we going to climb a 14 or are we going to do a 30 minute hike?
Are we going to do a three hour hike?
We've got to plan differently for all of those things.
It's only by choosing one.
(10:23):
that you're going to then be able to plan accordingly.
You're gonna plan what you wear differently and what shoes you take and are you going totake walking sticks and what time are you going to leave and who's gonna go with you?
What is your emergency?
backup going to look like what snacks are you going to bring?
Are you going to bring a tent?
Are you going to take a car?
(10:43):
Are you gonna take a Jeep?
All of those things that we consider, that we plan for happen as soon as you commit.
So saying that you're going to do a 14 -er is going to lead you on a different path, evenin preparation, than doing a one -hour.
hike two miles down the road.
(11:03):
Can y 'all get the distinction of commitment, committing to a choice, committing to adecision?
Now here's what happens often, and I'll just say that it happens with me very often, and Iam getting better and better and better at it.
So yay me, but this has not always been a strong suit of mine, is the.
not making myself wrong for the choices I have already made.
(11:28):
What I tend to do when I make a decision and I realize that perhaps there may have been adifferent option as I'm already hiking, as I'm already on vacation, I've already chosen
the restaurant, I've already said what I wanted to do and we are there.
And then, for example, my kids aren't happy.
(11:48):
And I can spiral y 'all.
I can spiral with the best of them.
My brain goes to, I should have made a different choice.
I should have known better.
I should have had different information.
I should have trusted this part.
I should have listened to him.
And then I spiral further into what I do is never enough.
I always make the wrong choice.
I can't ever trust what I wanna do because it always ends up awful.
(12:11):
Here I go again, making a wrong choice.
here I go again, upsetting somebody else.
Y 'all, all of those are false.
I also know that I'm not the only one to sort of doubt this spiral.
How do I know that?
So in conversations with me, what that often looks like is asking me for advice.
(12:31):
So I often have students or clients or friends say, well, what do think about that choice?
What do you think I should do?
Would you be proud of me?
What do you think about this thing?
I just want you to tell me what to do.
It's all part of the same version of that self doubt that happens even once we've made thechoice or the decision or the commitment.
(12:53):
So first I want to say normal and it doesn't have to be that way.
So one thing.
that we can do to alleviate that is we can actually choose to make our decision the rightdecision for us in that moment.
We can actually just say, that choice that I made, yeah, it was right for me at the time.
(13:16):
Yeah, that decision that I made an hour ago, a week ago, a year ago, absolutely the rightdecision for me at that time.
What does that do?
It first allows us to trust that we considered all the information that we had at thatpoint in order to make that decision.
(13:38):
It's not like we wanted to make a piss poor decision that we were going to berateourselves for for the next 24 hours or 17 years.
It's not like we consciously chose to do that.
It's not like, yeah, I'm gonna make a choice.
I'm gonna choose an awful choice for myself.
Because I think that's fun!
No, y 'all.
One thing I do actually know to be true in the thousands and thousands of conversationsthat I've had with other humans is that we are actually doing our best.
(14:07):
We want to live amazing lives.
We want to live fulfilling lives.
We want to make whatever this deemed right choice is, right choices are for us.
and we actually take a lot of things into consideration.
So let's give ourselves some grace there.
Let's actually give ourselves some accolades and say, yes, considered a lot of thingsbefore we made this decision.
(14:30):
Some of y 'all, it might be an amazing spreadsheet or you love pro con lists and that'show you make your choices and your decisions.
Amazing.
Some of y 'all might go by gut.
Some of y 'all might go by a giddy, right?
For me sometimes it's like, ooh, when I feel that giddiness of excitement, it's like, ooh,that's a go.
my gosh, I have a girlfriend who's also a coach.
(14:51):
She gave me the best one.
She goes by how her a -hole feels.
Am I allowed to say that on a podcast?
We're going there.
So of course I burst out laughing and I said, my gosh, you have to tell me more.
She goes, okay, when her...
a hole when her a hole is clenched, she knows.
(15:13):
This is not the right decision for me.
She wants it relaxed.
She wants her booty to be relaxed.
And when it's relaxed, it's a good sign.
that it is a green light go.
Isn't that so good?
Love it.
So maybe that's what you use.
Maybe you use your values or your priorities at the time or your circumstances or yourenergy levels or what your capacity holds at any given time, where you're going, what is
(15:41):
important to you, your time.
Have I said all of these?
I feel like I'm repeating myself.
Can you all see that we take a variety of factors into account whenever we make choices?
So we get to actually trust that our past self did that too.
That our past self wanted what's best for us.
We can give them that benefit of the doubt and say, thank you.
(16:03):
Thank you for taking all of those things into consideration.
And I can trust that CL one year ago made that choice because it was the best choice forher.
Am I still in it?
Maybe not.
But that's because CL now has different information.
And so I'm gonna make different choices.
(16:25):
Also, I've been on that path for a year.
I've been hiking that trail for a year so I know what it's like.
I know what I like on that trail.
I know what I don't like on that trail.
I know if I wanna keep going.
I know if I wanna stop.
And so along any point of me walking that...
decision over the past year, I get to change my mind and say, ha ha ha, now that I knowthis, am I going to continue or am going to get off of it and choose a different path?
(16:54):
So the tool, my friends here is one way of alleviating that self doubt that we have thespiraling of berating ourselves for making mistakes or choices in the past is we can
actually just choose that the decision that we made was right for us at the time.
(17:14):
We can just decide.
that our choices that we make are right for us and let it be done.
allow there to be some calm and some peace about it.
See, even the computer is saying thumbs up.
Y 'all on audio, my screen just thumbs up to me.
I know it's because I made hand gestures, but also perfect timing.
(17:35):
What else do want to say about choices?
I this actually leads us to the purpose or a main purpose of making choices is toexperience what that path is like.
I think this actually leads to a fallacy that we have related to choices and decisionsthat we make and maybe even goals is that there's a lot of emphasis on the end point.
(17:59):
The purpose of a goal or to make a choice is to actually get to the end.
Y 'all, if we think about vacation, that's actually not true.
The end of a vacation, the end point of the vacation is us being at home.
So really we don't have to go on vacation at all.
If that's the goal, the purpose is always to get to the end point.
(18:20):
We could have just stayed at home.
Instead, the purpose of making a choice can actually be to experience what it's like onthat journey.
To experience what that route is like hiking up that mountain.
to experience what it's like to be in that location of choice for your vacation.
(18:43):
That's the joy!
Isn't that the point?
The point is to actually be on that journey.
now I feel like I'm sounding like a greeting card or some sort of affirmation.
Why I'm bringing this up though is because I really want to emphasize.
(19:03):
that if you change your mind along the way, that's normal.
The point was for you to experience what it's like down that path of your choice.
And on that path, you're gonna realize, there's actually...
a meadow of wildflowers.
(19:24):
That's amazing.
I want to stop and rest.
along that path, you might realize that there is actually,
A trail that hasn't been marked on any of the maps that you've seen, but it looks superfun and you're gonna go for it.
You would not know that those are available to you unless you committed to that path inthe first place, unless you committed to that trail.
(19:48):
And now that you're on that trail, it now opens up different things for you.
And at those moments in time, you get to choose again.
Yes, I'm gonna go down the wildflower path.
Yes, I'm gonna go to Italy because...
My friend from Greece offered that to me and I didn't know that that was possible.
(20:09):
I just thought I was gonna stay in Crete.
But look at me going to Italy now.
Y 'all, it's all a win.
It's all a consequence of you having the freaking bravery and courage to commit to achoice in the first place
and follow it.
And as soon as you did that, as soon as you were able to experience what that was like,there's going to be new options that are available to you.
(20:35):
And welcome to the rest of your life.
All right.
Well, I hope that helped.
Of course, if you have any questions, let me know.
If you have any concerns, let me know.
If you don't agree with me, let me know.
And if this helped in any way, I would love, love, love, love, love, love to know.
So thank you for being here on my episode number 10 from 10s.
(20:59):
Also born on 1010, who may be 10 out of 10 for some human beings in her circle.
I adore you till the next time.
I realize that we are at the beginning of our podcasting journey together.
However, if you are already excited, already wanting to share this with people in yourlives, already thinking that it would be beneficial to have these conversations on a more
(21:29):
global scale, there are ways that you could support that.
The main ways is to like...
follow and subscribe on which ever platform you are watching or listening to me on.
You could always comment.
I would love to know what you found helpful or interesting in any of the episodes.
And of course, if you have ideas about what conversations, what topics you would like tocover in the future, please let me know.
(21:58):
Again, this podcast is for you.
Other ways that you can find me are on social.
So I am on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Cielle Amundson.
That is at C I E L L E A M U N D S O N.
Find me there, say hi, let's start a conversation.
(22:22):
And if this is something that you think other people in your lives would love to be a partof, would love to hear, would love to be in conversation with,
please share this with them.
Thank you again and I look forward to seeing you or having you at the next episode.
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