July 10, 2024 • 28 mins
Summary:
This episode focuses on being at the helm of choosing whether college is right for us right now or not, feeling really good about the choice, and how not to be disappointed by the outcome. Dr. C emphasizes the importance of choosing either as a value add towards winning this game of life that we are playing. There are various reasons why people choose college, such as pursuing a specific career, exploring different interests, or fulfilling familial expectations. There are also various reasons why people choose not to go to college, such as not needed a degree to prove worth, which is also valid. Cielle encourages listeners to trust themselves and make decisions that align with their values and aspirations.
Keywords:
college, college experience, intrinsic motivation, career, exploration, familial expectations, end goal, trust, decision-making, first gen, gen Z, young adults, adulting, empowerment, redefine success, purpose driven, personal growth, live on your own terms, authentic self, mindfulness, break the stigma, life coach, fulfillment, personally meaningful life
Takeaways:
- Choose college for yourself and find intrinsic motivation.
- Have a clear goal(s) and utilize college as a tool to achieve them.
- We are allowed to explore different interests and use college (or not college) as an opportunity for personal growth
- Foundational to adulting is beginning to trust ourselves and make decisions that make sense to us right now
Sound Bites:
"There are a variety of ways to do this thing called life, there are a variety of ways to even do this thing called college, that will have it so that either you get to graduation and you have it feel really luscious and fulfilling, or there are ways to go through it where you get to that graduation and it feels empty and it feels disappointing."
"There are ways to choose not to do college and have it feel life crap, like you're a disappointment, like you let people down. And there are ways to choose not doing college that fills you up with respect and feeling proud of yourself"
"College becomes a value add in the game of life."
"A job is not guaranteed; because college degree equals job is not a formula in the real world."
Chapters:
00:00 How to Make the College (Not College) Experience Feel Worthwhile for You 03:02 Different Reasons for College 04:46 Having the College (Not College) Experience Feel Fulfilling and Yummy 08:08 Choosing Your Path 20:39 Trusting Yourself and Your Journey 22:12 Finding Joy in the Pursuit of Your Goals
Mentions:
As always, thank you to the amazing Brandon Ward for voicing the into (he is a wonderful husband too)- and to the amazing Bobbo Byrnes and Miracle Laurie for their song Effin' Groovy in the outro. It is pretty Effin' Groovy! Heehee.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:52):
Welcome to this episode.
I am so excited that you're here.
And today is a continuation of theconversation that we started with Blake
related to college.
And the focus today is all about how tomake the college experience.
worthwhile for you if that's what youchoose and how to choose for yourself
(01:17):
whether or not college is right for youand that there are a variety of paths
there are a variety of ways to do thisthing called life there are a variety of
ways to even do this thing called collegethat will have it so that either you get
to that degree and you get to graduationand you have it feel really luscious and
(01:41):
fulfilling?
Or there are ways to go through it whereyou get to that graduation and it feels
empty and it feels disappointing and youwonder why the heck?
Very similarly, there are ways to choosenot to do college and have it feel like
crap, like you're a disappointment, likeyou let people down.
(02:02):
And there are ways to choose not doingcollege that
fills you up with respect and feelingproud for yourself and of yourself.
So that's the conversation that I felt wasreally important to have now right after
the conversation with Blake.
Because in that conversation, and if youhaven't listened to it, I highly suggest
(02:23):
that you go back is Blake realized that hedid not need a college degree for himself.
to prove his worthiness as an artist.
And so once he had that realization, heknew for himself that he could let college
(02:44):
go and pursue art on his own.
And that is what he has done.
And for him, it feels really fulfillingand like the right choice.
However, I wanted to make very clear thatthere are...
ways to do this and that all of y 'all areprobably
on that same path.
I know that I wasn't.
(03:05):
Right?
If you were to tell me, please drop out ofschool so that you can pursue being an
artist, I'd be like, dude, no, that ain'twhat I'm doing.
Because for me, I knew I wanted to teachcollege and that game in this world in
order to actually teach college, I need togo to college.
(03:27):
That was the game that I was willing toplay to get to my end goal, which is be in
front of a classroom and be around humanbeings who inspire me and teach in that
way.
Not only that, I enjoy going to school.
Are y 'all kid, like college, I was theperson, I loved choosing my classes.
(03:49):
I loved beating the system and figuringout what classes were cross -listed so
that I could graduate early with all ofthe things.
I loved picking what classes I was goingto have based on the readings, based on
the instructor.
I loved getting the initial syllabus sothat I could go to the bookstore or get
things at the second -hand bookstore,because things got real expensive, and
(04:12):
pick out all of the books and see all ofthe books.
And I'd be walking home with a stack ofbooks, knowing that at some point by the
end of the semester, I'll have read all ofthose books.
Y 'all, that was exciting to me.
That was fun for me.
Was it also all of college?
No, it was about the college experience.
(04:33):
We can go into that at another time.
But for me, I knew that college was mynext step in order to do what I wanted to
do and what I dreamed of.
Now, even in that though, there aredecisions and there are choices that we
can make.
There are ways that we can see this thingcalled college experience that will have
(04:56):
us feel really good about it, that willhave us see the value in this process
called education.
And there are ways to look at it that canlead to utter disappointment.
And how do I know this?
Because I speak to people who get thereand they're like, what?
There were no jobs lined up when Igraduated
(05:18):
where understandably so, there are severalpeople who graduate college who have come
to me and said, I'm in an utter letdown.
I feel like I did things by the book.
I feel like I did things that people saidI should do.
And I went to college because people saidI would get a job.
(05:39):
College equals job.
And the assumption there is that that jobis then what?
Gonna create our happiness and our successand we're gonna feel great the rest of our
lives.
Except for you walk across that stage,there's a celebration of getting that
degree.
You walk off that stage and into the restof your life.
(06:00):
And I think that sometimes we assume or wedon't think really well about it that
after that, you're just gonna walk into aparking lot of a whole bunch of people who
are hiring for their corporate positionswith your name on it, just vying for you
saying, please, please, please come workwith us.
And then it comes easy or that a job isabsolutely guaranteed because you go to
(06:23):
college.
And that just is not the truth for 99 .9%.
of those of us who graduate college.
And so I think that that conversationneeds to be had is what is the motivation?
What can we do in our college experienceto ensure that we see value, to ensure
(06:48):
that we know?
why we're getting the degrees that we are,for what purpose, and then how to pursue
what's next.
That college education is an additive,it's a value add to our life, but it is
not the only way that we determine ourworth and our success and our achievement.
(07:12):
Because if that is how we see thatfreaking piece of paper,
at the end of those four or five or sixyears, however long it takes to walk
across that stage.
My friends, you will be sorelydisappointed because at the end of the
day, like we talked about in that lastepisode, it is just a piece of paper.
(07:34):
And unless you have created an intrinsicreason for you to go to school,
intrinsic motivation, internal goals ofsuccess that you define as your own
success.
there is a high likelihood that you willbe really disappointed at what it feels
(07:57):
like when you walk across that stage.
And that is what I do not want for you.
So let's have this conversation.
So let's go back to the conversation withBlake.
The way that he felt in the educationsystem here in the United States is that
it felt very much like he was a cog on awheel that was churning out a whole bunch
(08:22):
of humans that were the same.
This bland, beige monotony of humans.
And he was like, I ain't having any of it.
It all feels grimy.
That perspective is valid.
But I want to honor that you may not feelthat way at all, especially around your
(08:46):
college experience.
There are many people.
who actually see college as a way ofexpanding who they are or recreating
themselves or seeing what's possible on awhole other level.
How many of you come from small townswhere you've seen the same 1 ,000 people
(09:07):
over and over and over again and you hadno clue what was possible?
Y 'all, I came from Michigan and I went toIndiana and when my friends told me, I
love that there's an accent that comes outall of a sudden, but when my friends told
me that,
they had a drive your tractor to schoolday?
I was floored.
I didn't know it was possible for so manypeople in high school to have and own a
(09:32):
tractor that they could ride to school tomake it a day.
I didn't grow up with that.
I didn't know that it was possible to goto a school where so many people said y
'all.
And then here I am saying y 'all all thetime.
Y 'all means all y 'all.
Yeah?
Okay, got it.
For many
College can be the first time that you areaware of other religions, of other
(09:56):
cultures, different languages, differentinterests, people from various states,
people from various countries, all comingtogether and all of a sudden you're
bombarded with the possibilities thatcould be.
Can y 'all see that?
Yes, it is true that we can look at theeducation system as churning out factory
(10:18):
workers, but we could also see thediversity and the possibilities that a
college experience can also bring.
It could very well be that you have feltlike everybody else up until college and
college allows you to see that you get tobe your own person.
(10:39):
You get to be any color on the colorspectrum that is not beige.
How
the way that you experience it matters.
So what I would tend to do in my firstsemester classes, so these are freshmen
first semester, at some point in the firstseveral would often ask the class, why are
(11:02):
you here in college?
What the heck are you doing here?
The two answers that I got most often areone, to get a job, two, because people
told me.
We already talked about to get a job.
Can college be the catalyst for you or thefodder for you to get the job that you
(11:24):
want?
Absolutely.
But I should also say not all jobs.
And the jobs are not guaranteed.
I feel like I need to repeat this becausewhen I would say this in the classes with
those freshmen, their eyes would get big.
And they'd be like, tell me what, sayagain?
A job is not guaranteed.
And I'm like, no, we should, we should atleast warn you now.
(11:47):
Okay.
A job is not guaranteed because collegedegree equals job is not a formula in the
real world.
For most.
Okay.
So can it be fodder?
Can it help you get the job that you want?
Absolutely.
but you best be aware of what skillstranslate into that career that you want,
(12:12):
okay?
Number two, because people told me to behere.
It's like the next step.
So again, absolutely valid.
But here's what I would say to that.
Doing it because other people said is notgoing to be motivation enough for most
people to get to the end.
(12:34):
College is too long and too hard.
to be motivated by I'm doing it becausesomeone told me.
And have you ever thought about that?
Like I'm in college because someone toldme or a society told me.
Your teenager self or even your like 10year old self, I'm thinking about my own
10 year old.
If I were to ever say, which I dosometimes because I don't have a better
(12:58):
answer, I'm like, can you just go to bed?
Why?
Because I say so.
He's like, okay, well, I don't say
or as a teenager, y 'all, if somebodysaid, do this thing because I told you so,
I do the opposite.
There is a part of me that's like, no, areyou kidding?
Now I will not do that thing.
(13:18):
But isn't it interesting how related toeducation and hearing it over and over and
over and over and over again, we thenstart to question ourselves and we're
like, perhaps, maybe, maybe I'm in thewrong here.
because you were told to do college byothers and you don't actually have an
(13:41):
internal motivating force that is gonnakeep you in this game will make it extra
tough for you to stay motivated and tocontinue.
Again, because it's hard.
So here are a couple of ways to look atthis college experience where you are at
(14:01):
the helm.
I know I have said in this podcastalready, but I will say it again here.
There is a way of looking at ourselves andour lives as we are CEO of our lives.
And when people provide opinions, we canlook at it like they are our consultants,
but we get to filter what they say throughwhat our value systems are, what our
(14:24):
history is, what our past says, what ourabilities are, what our energy is like,
what we actually wanna do now.
what our intentions are, all of thosethings that we are mostly aware of and not
very many people know us to that degree.
Actually, I'd say that nobody knows us tothat degree.
So we get to filter out what all thoseconsultants say in order to create the
(14:49):
lives that we want.
We can look at college the same.
you have a game that you want to play andyou know what it takes to win that game.
You know what the end goal is for you.
And how can you now utilize this thingcalled college education to support you in
(15:11):
that?
So for example, I knew I wanted to be aprofessor.
Great, college was one way for me to goand do that.
Also,
College allowed me a way to look at thevariety of things that I may want to
teach, to look at various things that Iwas interested in, to see what I wanted to
(15:32):
focus on and if I wanted to focus onanything.
The other thing that was really importantto me in college was the experience,
meeting friends, having fun, living thedorm life, walking to class, partying,
like all those things were important to meand I leaned into that part too.
So I was at the helm
and I was really clear that my end goalwas getting into a classroom.
(15:56):
So the faster I could get into aclassroom, the better for me, which meant
I was taking classes that were cross-listed.
I was trying to graduate early.
I was telling my department, y 'all, I'mready to teach.
And I was willing to do all of thosethings in a way that was supportive,
again, because I was really clear of whereI was going.
Now, I'm not saying all of you want to beprofessors.
(16:17):
Some of you may be nursing.
And again, in this world, the way thatthese systems are set up, you do need to
go to college in order to be a nurse.
So if you are going to college in order tobe a nurse and you know that that's where
you wanna go, can you see that it actuallysupports you in those downs?
In order to do this thing called nursing,I'm gonna have to take these gen eds.
(16:40):
And I don't necessarily understand whythese general education courses pertain to
my life, but you know what?
They pertain to me getting the degree,
which is what I need to do in order tocomplete level one so that I can then move
on to level two.
Now for some of you, you know that collegeis right for you as a way of exploring.
You don't know what you want to major in.
(17:02):
You don't know what you want to have acareer in.
You don't know what jobs you want to do.
And so college is a way for you to be ableto explore that.
Can you see that if that is your game toexplore, then the point is to explore,
choose the classes for your gen eds thatyou want to choose the things that feel
(17:22):
interesting to you at that point, becauseit's all about curiosity.
Try something new.
You're interested in sociology, great, andanthropology, great, but then you also
like sciences and you wanna try this thingcalled ballroom dance.
Awesome.
Do them all at the same time.
Try them out.
(17:43):
And it's by the trying out that you get asense of, this is for me, I wanna lean
into it, or, this is not for me.
And you stop it at that point and go in adifferent direction.
None of those are failures.
if the game that you're playing is, I'mgoing to explore.
(18:05):
Now, many of you may be first -gens whoI'm speaking to, and there's a lot of
familial, cultural pressure to completeyour degree.
And in those cases, from y 'all, you tellme how important it is to be a role model.
(18:25):
for your siblings, for your cousins.
You want to make your parents proud.
You want to make your abuela proud.
Amazing.
If that is internally motivating to you,if you want to be able to be that person
for your family, that person that you canbe proud of, then who's to say that that's
(18:54):
a shit reason?
Sometimes what keeps us in the game is ourconnection with other people and how we
might bring a community of people into anew life.
That is beautiful.
Okay?
I just wanted to make sure that Ivalidated that.
(19:16):
Many of you may also be at that pointwhere you're like, I don't know what else
to do.
I may as well just do this college thingbecause these systems are already set up
and I'm told that I need to get a degreeso that I can get paid $4 an hour more in
order to get whatever job.
And you know what?
(19:36):
I'm just gonna trust.
I'm gonna trust that I'm gonna figure outin the future.
But for right now, there's nothing elsethat I really wanna do.
So I may as well.
and I'm getting funding for it in whateverway.
And so let's do this.
Y 'all, even you saying that showcasesthat you have looked at other options and
(20:01):
this feels like the most valid.
This feels like the most logical.
This feels like the most sane.
And you're gonna stick with this right nowbecause it's the best possible option for
you.
Own that.
Seriously, because yes, you're gonna be inclasses with people who have known what
(20:22):
they wanted to do since they were two, andthat ain't you.
But you know what you do showcase?
You do showcase that you're willing to dowhat it takes and that you trusting of
yourself and your future self to figure itout.
And that's badass.
Here's what's interesting is sometimes wedon't know where the path is going to
(20:45):
lead.
Actually, that's most times.
Sometimes we do just need to trust thatthis feels like the right thing right now.
I don't know where it's going.
I have no vision.
It feels very cloudy.
There's like a freaking blizzard in frontof me and I just need to take one step in
front of the next and one step in front ofthe next.
(21:09):
Right now looks like college experience.
Looks like I'm at least going to do thisnext semester.
I'm committed to this next semester andthen we'll see where it goes.
Y 'all were allowed to trust that.
but that is a very different space.
I know that it's a small shift, but comingat it from that point of view, whereas I
(21:30):
don't see the entire path.
But I do know that the next step for me isthis next semester in college or this next
quarter in college.
And I'm gonna trust that.
And then I will decide at the end of thesemester what my next step is.
That's a very different place to be than,I don't know, the world just told me to be
(21:51):
here, so I'm here.
Can y 'all see the pattern here?
The pattern I'm hoping is that I keeptrying to have the focus be on you are at
the helm.
You get to say what's important to you.
You get to say what success feels like toyou.
You get to say what the win is for you.
(22:12):
And the win for many of you may be notcollege.
The win for you may be to be financiallystable right now and to go into the
workforce.
For you, you are not clear.
There's the blizzard and the clouds infront of you and you don't see the path,
(22:33):
but you know that your next step is I needto take a break from school.
and it may be six months, it may be threeyears, who knows?
But again, you're trusting that, okay, notnow.
And again, that is valid and it's valuablein this experience called life.
(22:56):
where we need to learn to have our ownback.
The thing that most people come to me for,the thing that I hear from young adults
the most often related to coaching isbuilding confidence.
So how do we start to build confidence inour adulthood?
Is we start to trust ourselves as adults.
(23:19):
knowing that you have your own back.
That no matter what happens in life,because there's going to be extreme highs
and there's going to be extreme lows,
to build this trust with yourself that youwill make it through the way that you want
to make it through.
And that is something that I wish I knewat 20 and 22.
(23:44):
So I will leave this episode with thisidea, is that there are a variety of ways
to choose college or not college.
There are a variety of ways to havecollege support you College becomes a
value add in the game of life that you areplaying.
(24:07):
And if I may add, whoop.
It additional thing.
is to be sure to make your wins and yourcelebrations the process of getting there.
The win is not the degree at the end.
The accomplishment, the end all be all isnot that.
(24:31):
It's what you learn, how you live up untilthat point.
think of high school.
When I say, tell me more about your highschool experience.
What were the highs?
What was it like?
Do you tell me about graduation?
Are you like, well, there was this pieceof paper that I got.
No!
(24:51):
It's the sum of all parts of thatexperience for you.
There's actually quite a bit ofneurological research that showcases that
we are the most happiest.
When I say we, I mean humans, are thehappiest when we are in process towards a
goal that is meaningful for us.
(25:13):
I will repeat that.
human beings there's neurological researchthat says and showcases that we are
happiest when we are in pursuit when weare in the process of attaining a goal
that is meaningful and fulfilling to us.
(25:37):
So my friends if you choose college
Make those wins part of the process.
Enjoy it.
If you are there to be curious, fuck.
Be curious.
which also means if you choose notcollege, amazing.
(25:57):
Make the process of not college and whatyou choose to do scintillating to you too.
And no matter what, I'm so freaking proudof you for being here.
I'm so freaking proud of you for.
being willing at this point to trustyourselves?
I'm so freaking proud of you for beingwilling to even think about going against
(26:23):
the grain because that takes such courageand such bravery and you are doing an
amazing job.
I realize that we are at the beginning ofour podcasting journey together.
However, if you are already excited,already wanting to share this with people
(26:45):
in your lives, already thinking that itwould be beneficial to have these
conversations on a more global scale,there are ways that you could support
that.
The main ways is to like...
follow and subscribe on which everplatform you are watching or listening to
me on.
You could always comment.
(27:07):
I would love to know what you foundhelpful or interesting in any of the
episodes.
And of course, if you have ideas aboutwhat conversations, what topics you would
like to cover in the future, please let meknow.
Again, this podcast is for you.
Other ways that you can find me are onsocial.
So I am on Instagram, TikTok and Facebookat Cielle Amundson.
(27:33):
That is at C I E L L E A M U N D S O N.
Find me there, say hi, let's start aconversation.
And if this is something that you thinkother people in your lives would love to
be a part of, would love to hear, wouldlove to be in conversation with,
(27:53):
please share this with them.
Thank you again and I look forward toseeing you or having you at the next
episode.
Welcome to this episode.
I am so excited that you're here.
And today is a continuation of theconversation that we started with Blake
related to college.
And the focus today is all about how tomake the college experience.
worthwhile for you if that's what youchoose and how to choose for yourself
(01:17):
whether or not college is right for youand that there are a variety of paths
there are a variety of ways to do thisthing called life there are a variety of
ways to even do this thing called collegethat will have it so that either you get
to that degree and you get to graduationand you have it feel really luscious and
(01:41):
fulfilling?
Or there are ways to go through it whereyou get to that graduation and it feels
empty and it feels disappointing and youwonder why the heck?
Very similarly, there are ways to choosenot to do college and have it feel like
crap, like you're a disappointment, likeyou let people down.
(02:02):
And there are ways to choose not doingcollege that
fills you up with respect and feelingproud for yourself and of yourself.
So that's the conversation that I felt wasreally important to have now right after
the conversation with Blake.
Because in that conversation, and if youhaven't listened to it, I highly suggest
(02:23):
that you go back is Blake realized that hedid not need a college degree for himself.
to prove his worthiness as an artist.
And so once he had that realization, heknew for himself that he could let college
(02:44):
go and pursue art on his own.
And that is what he has done.
And for him, it feels really fulfillingand like the right choice.
However, I wanted to make very clear thatthere are...
ways to do this and that all of y 'all areprobably
on that same path.
I know that I wasn't.
(03:05):
Right?
If you were to tell me, please drop out ofschool so that you can pursue being an
artist, I'd be like, dude, no, that ain'twhat I'm doing.
Because for me, I knew I wanted to teachcollege and that game in this world in
order to actually teach college, I need togo to college.
(03:27):
That was the game that I was willing toplay to get to my end goal, which is be in
front of a classroom and be around humanbeings who inspire me and teach in that
way.
Not only that, I enjoy going to school.
Are y 'all kid, like college, I was theperson, I loved choosing my classes.
(03:49):
I loved beating the system and figuringout what classes were cross -listed so
that I could graduate early with all ofthe things.
I loved picking what classes I was goingto have based on the readings, based on
the instructor.
I loved getting the initial syllabus sothat I could go to the bookstore or get
things at the second -hand bookstore,because things got real expensive, and
(04:12):
pick out all of the books and see all ofthe books.
And I'd be walking home with a stack ofbooks, knowing that at some point by the
end of the semester, I'll have read all ofthose books.
Y 'all, that was exciting to me.
That was fun for me.
Was it also all of college?
No, it was about the college experience.
(04:33):
We can go into that at another time.
But for me, I knew that college was mynext step in order to do what I wanted to
do and what I dreamed of.
Now, even in that though, there aredecisions and there are choices that we
can make.
There are ways that we can see this thingcalled college experience that will have
(04:56):
us feel really good about it, that willhave us see the value in this process
called education.
And there are ways to look at it that canlead to utter disappointment.
And how do I know this?
Because I speak to people who get thereand they're like, what?
There were no jobs lined up when Igraduated
(05:18):
where understandably so, there are severalpeople who graduate college who have come
to me and said, I'm in an utter letdown.
I feel like I did things by the book.
I feel like I did things that people saidI should do.
And I went to college because people saidI would get a job.
(05:39):
College equals job.
And the assumption there is that that jobis then what?
Gonna create our happiness and our successand we're gonna feel great the rest of our
lives.
Except for you walk across that stage,there's a celebration of getting that
degree.
You walk off that stage and into the restof your life.
(06:00):
And I think that sometimes we assume or wedon't think really well about it that
after that, you're just gonna walk into aparking lot of a whole bunch of people who
are hiring for their corporate positionswith your name on it, just vying for you
saying, please, please, please come workwith us.
And then it comes easy or that a job isabsolutely guaranteed because you go to
(06:23):
college.
And that just is not the truth for 99 .9%.
of those of us who graduate college.
And so I think that that conversationneeds to be had is what is the motivation?
What can we do in our college experienceto ensure that we see value, to ensure
(06:48):
that we know?
why we're getting the degrees that we are,for what purpose, and then how to pursue
what's next.
That college education is an additive,it's a value add to our life, but it is
not the only way that we determine ourworth and our success and our achievement.
(07:12):
Because if that is how we see thatfreaking piece of paper,
at the end of those four or five or sixyears, however long it takes to walk
across that stage.
My friends, you will be sorelydisappointed because at the end of the
day, like we talked about in that lastepisode, it is just a piece of paper.
(07:34):
And unless you have created an intrinsicreason for you to go to school,
intrinsic motivation, internal goals ofsuccess that you define as your own
success.
there is a high likelihood that you willbe really disappointed at what it feels
(07:57):
like when you walk across that stage.
And that is what I do not want for you.
So let's have this conversation.
So let's go back to the conversation withBlake.
The way that he felt in the educationsystem here in the United States is that
it felt very much like he was a cog on awheel that was churning out a whole bunch
(08:22):
of humans that were the same.
This bland, beige monotony of humans.
And he was like, I ain't having any of it.
It all feels grimy.
That perspective is valid.
But I want to honor that you may not feelthat way at all, especially around your
(08:46):
college experience.
There are many people.
who actually see college as a way ofexpanding who they are or recreating
themselves or seeing what's possible on awhole other level.
How many of you come from small townswhere you've seen the same 1 ,000 people
(09:07):
over and over and over again and you hadno clue what was possible?
Y 'all, I came from Michigan and I went toIndiana and when my friends told me, I
love that there's an accent that comes outall of a sudden, but when my friends told
me that,
they had a drive your tractor to schoolday?
I was floored.
I didn't know it was possible for so manypeople in high school to have and own a
(09:32):
tractor that they could ride to school tomake it a day.
I didn't grow up with that.
I didn't know that it was possible to goto a school where so many people said y
'all.
And then here I am saying y 'all all thetime.
Y 'all means all y 'all.
Yeah?
Okay, got it.
For many
College can be the first time that you areaware of other religions, of other
(09:56):
cultures, different languages, differentinterests, people from various states,
people from various countries, all comingtogether and all of a sudden you're
bombarded with the possibilities thatcould be.
Can y 'all see that?
Yes, it is true that we can look at theeducation system as churning out factory
(10:18):
workers, but we could also see thediversity and the possibilities that a
college experience can also bring.
It could very well be that you have feltlike everybody else up until college and
college allows you to see that you get tobe your own person.
(10:39):
You get to be any color on the colorspectrum that is not beige.
How
the way that you experience it matters.
So what I would tend to do in my firstsemester classes, so these are freshmen
first semester, at some point in the firstseveral would often ask the class, why are
(11:02):
you here in college?
What the heck are you doing here?
The two answers that I got most often areone, to get a job, two, because people
told me.
We already talked about to get a job.
Can college be the catalyst for you or thefodder for you to get the job that you
(11:24):
want?
Absolutely.
But I should also say not all jobs.
And the jobs are not guaranteed.
I feel like I need to repeat this becausewhen I would say this in the classes with
those freshmen, their eyes would get big.
And they'd be like, tell me what, sayagain?
A job is not guaranteed.
And I'm like, no, we should, we should atleast warn you now.
(11:47):
Okay.
A job is not guaranteed because collegedegree equals job is not a formula in the
real world.
For most.
Okay.
So can it be fodder?
Can it help you get the job that you want?
Absolutely.
but you best be aware of what skillstranslate into that career that you want,
(12:12):
okay?
Number two, because people told me to behere.
It's like the next step.
So again, absolutely valid.
But here's what I would say to that.
Doing it because other people said is notgoing to be motivation enough for most
people to get to the end.
(12:34):
College is too long and too hard.
to be motivated by I'm doing it becausesomeone told me.
And have you ever thought about that?
Like I'm in college because someone toldme or a society told me.
Your teenager self or even your like 10year old self, I'm thinking about my own
10 year old.
If I were to ever say, which I dosometimes because I don't have a better
(12:58):
answer, I'm like, can you just go to bed?
Why?
Because I say so.
He's like, okay, well, I don't say
or as a teenager, y 'all, if somebodysaid, do this thing because I told you so,
I do the opposite.
There is a part of me that's like, no, areyou kidding?
Now I will not do that thing.
(13:18):
But isn't it interesting how related toeducation and hearing it over and over and
over and over and over again, we thenstart to question ourselves and we're
like, perhaps, maybe, maybe I'm in thewrong here.
because you were told to do college byothers and you don't actually have an
(13:41):
internal motivating force that is gonnakeep you in this game will make it extra
tough for you to stay motivated and tocontinue.
Again, because it's hard.
So here are a couple of ways to look atthis college experience where you are at
(14:01):
the helm.
I know I have said in this podcastalready, but I will say it again here.
There is a way of looking at ourselves andour lives as we are CEO of our lives.
And when people provide opinions, we canlook at it like they are our consultants,
but we get to filter what they say throughwhat our value systems are, what our
(14:24):
history is, what our past says, what ourabilities are, what our energy is like,
what we actually wanna do now.
what our intentions are, all of thosethings that we are mostly aware of and not
very many people know us to that degree.
Actually, I'd say that nobody knows us tothat degree.
So we get to filter out what all thoseconsultants say in order to create the
(14:49):
lives that we want.
We can look at college the same.
you have a game that you want to play andyou know what it takes to win that game.
You know what the end goal is for you.
And how can you now utilize this thingcalled college education to support you in
(15:11):
that?
So for example, I knew I wanted to be aprofessor.
Great, college was one way for me to goand do that.
Also,
College allowed me a way to look at thevariety of things that I may want to
teach, to look at various things that Iwas interested in, to see what I wanted to
(15:32):
focus on and if I wanted to focus onanything.
The other thing that was really importantto me in college was the experience,
meeting friends, having fun, living thedorm life, walking to class, partying,
like all those things were important to meand I leaned into that part too.
So I was at the helm
and I was really clear that my end goalwas getting into a classroom.
(15:56):
So the faster I could get into aclassroom, the better for me, which meant
I was taking classes that were cross-listed.
I was trying to graduate early.
I was telling my department, y 'all, I'mready to teach.
And I was willing to do all of thosethings in a way that was supportive,
again, because I was really clear of whereI was going.
Now, I'm not saying all of you want to beprofessors.
(16:17):
Some of you may be nursing.
And again, in this world, the way thatthese systems are set up, you do need to
go to college in order to be a nurse.
So if you are going to college in order tobe a nurse and you know that that's where
you wanna go, can you see that it actuallysupports you in those downs?
In order to do this thing called nursing,I'm gonna have to take these gen eds.
(16:40):
And I don't necessarily understand whythese general education courses pertain to
my life, but you know what?
They pertain to me getting the degree,
which is what I need to do in order tocomplete level one so that I can then move
on to level two.
Now for some of you, you know that collegeis right for you as a way of exploring.
You don't know what you want to major in.
(17:02):
You don't know what you want to have acareer in.
You don't know what jobs you want to do.
And so college is a way for you to be ableto explore that.
Can you see that if that is your game toexplore, then the point is to explore,
choose the classes for your gen eds thatyou want to choose the things that feel
(17:22):
interesting to you at that point, becauseit's all about curiosity.
Try something new.
You're interested in sociology, great, andanthropology, great, but then you also
like sciences and you wanna try this thingcalled ballroom dance.
Awesome.
Do them all at the same time.
Try them out.
(17:43):
And it's by the trying out that you get asense of, this is for me, I wanna lean
into it, or, this is not for me.
And you stop it at that point and go in adifferent direction.
None of those are failures.
if the game that you're playing is, I'mgoing to explore.
(18:05):
Now, many of you may be first -gens whoI'm speaking to, and there's a lot of
familial, cultural pressure to completeyour degree.
And in those cases, from y 'all, you tellme how important it is to be a role model.
(18:25):
for your siblings, for your cousins.
You want to make your parents proud.
You want to make your abuela proud.
Amazing.
If that is internally motivating to you,if you want to be able to be that person
for your family, that person that you canbe proud of, then who's to say that that's
(18:54):
a shit reason?
Sometimes what keeps us in the game is ourconnection with other people and how we
might bring a community of people into anew life.
That is beautiful.
Okay?
I just wanted to make sure that Ivalidated that.
(19:16):
Many of you may also be at that pointwhere you're like, I don't know what else
to do.
I may as well just do this college thingbecause these systems are already set up
and I'm told that I need to get a degreeso that I can get paid $4 an hour more in
order to get whatever job.
And you know what?
(19:36):
I'm just gonna trust.
I'm gonna trust that I'm gonna figure outin the future.
But for right now, there's nothing elsethat I really wanna do.
So I may as well.
and I'm getting funding for it in whateverway.
And so let's do this.
Y 'all, even you saying that showcasesthat you have looked at other options and
(20:01):
this feels like the most valid.
This feels like the most logical.
This feels like the most sane.
And you're gonna stick with this right nowbecause it's the best possible option for
you.
Own that.
Seriously, because yes, you're gonna be inclasses with people who have known what
(20:22):
they wanted to do since they were two, andthat ain't you.
But you know what you do showcase?
You do showcase that you're willing to dowhat it takes and that you trusting of
yourself and your future self to figure itout.
And that's badass.
Here's what's interesting is sometimes wedon't know where the path is going to
(20:45):
lead.
Actually, that's most times.
Sometimes we do just need to trust thatthis feels like the right thing right now.
I don't know where it's going.
I have no vision.
It feels very cloudy.
There's like a freaking blizzard in frontof me and I just need to take one step in
front of the next and one step in front ofthe next.
(21:09):
Right now looks like college experience.
Looks like I'm at least going to do thisnext semester.
I'm committed to this next semester andthen we'll see where it goes.
Y 'all were allowed to trust that.
but that is a very different space.
I know that it's a small shift, but comingat it from that point of view, whereas I
(21:30):
don't see the entire path.
But I do know that the next step for me isthis next semester in college or this next
quarter in college.
And I'm gonna trust that.
And then I will decide at the end of thesemester what my next step is.
That's a very different place to be than,I don't know, the world just told me to be
(21:51):
here, so I'm here.
Can y 'all see the pattern here?
The pattern I'm hoping is that I keeptrying to have the focus be on you are at
the helm.
You get to say what's important to you.
You get to say what success feels like toyou.
You get to say what the win is for you.
(22:12):
And the win for many of you may be notcollege.
The win for you may be to be financiallystable right now and to go into the
workforce.
For you, you are not clear.
There's the blizzard and the clouds infront of you and you don't see the path,
(22:33):
but you know that your next step is I needto take a break from school.
and it may be six months, it may be threeyears, who knows?
But again, you're trusting that, okay, notnow.
And again, that is valid and it's valuablein this experience called life.
(22:56):
where we need to learn to have our ownback.
The thing that most people come to me for,the thing that I hear from young adults
the most often related to coaching isbuilding confidence.
So how do we start to build confidence inour adulthood?
Is we start to trust ourselves as adults.
(23:19):
knowing that you have your own back.
That no matter what happens in life,because there's going to be extreme highs
and there's going to be extreme lows,
to build this trust with yourself that youwill make it through the way that you want
to make it through.
And that is something that I wish I knewat 20 and 22.
(23:44):
So I will leave this episode with thisidea, is that there are a variety of ways
to choose college or not college.
There are a variety of ways to havecollege support you College becomes a
value add in the game of life that you areplaying.
(24:07):
And if I may add, whoop.
It additional thing.
is to be sure to make your wins and yourcelebrations the process of getting there.
The win is not the degree at the end.
The accomplishment, the end all be all isnot that.
(24:31):
It's what you learn, how you live up untilthat point.
think of high school.
When I say, tell me more about your highschool experience.
What were the highs?
What was it like?
Do you tell me about graduation?
Are you like, well, there was this pieceof paper that I got.
No!
(24:51):
It's the sum of all parts of thatexperience for you.
There's actually quite a bit ofneurological research that showcases that
we are the most happiest.
When I say we, I mean humans, are thehappiest when we are in process towards a
goal that is meaningful for us.
(25:13):
I will repeat that.
human beings there's neurological researchthat says and showcases that we are
happiest when we are in pursuit when weare in the process of attaining a goal
that is meaningful and fulfilling to us.
(25:37):
So my friends if you choose college
Make those wins part of the process.
Enjoy it.
If you are there to be curious, fuck.
Be curious.
which also means if you choose notcollege, amazing.
(25:57):
Make the process of not college and whatyou choose to do scintillating to you too.
And no matter what, I'm so freaking proudof you for being here.
I'm so freaking proud of you for.
being willing at this point to trustyourselves?
I'm so freaking proud of you for beingwilling to even think about going against
(26:23):
the grain because that takes such courageand such bravery and you are doing an
amazing job.
I realize that we are at the beginning ofour podcasting journey together.
However, if you are already excited,already wanting to share this with people
(26:45):
in your lives, already thinking that itwould be beneficial to have these
conversations on a more global scale,there are ways that you could support
that.
The main ways is to like...
follow and subscribe on which everplatform you are watching or listening to
me on.
You could always comment.
(27:07):
I would love to know what you foundhelpful or interesting in any of the
episodes.
And of course, if you have ideas aboutwhat conversations, what topics you would
like to cover in the future, please let meknow.
Again, this podcast is for you.
Other ways that you can find me are onsocial.
So I am on Instagram, TikTok and Facebookat Cielle Amundson.
(27:33):
That is at C I E L L E A M U N D S O N.
Find me there, say hi, let's start aconversation.
And if this is something that you thinkother people in your lives would love to
be a part of, would love to hear, wouldlove to be in conversation with,
(27:53):
please share this with them.
Thank you again and I look forward toseeing you or having you at the next
episode.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.