February 20, 2024 • 15 mins
Broken noses, singing waitresses and Rasputin. Holly gets physical with James.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Thank you for working my shift tomorrow.
Really happy to be spending Thanksgivingwith the fam.
My friend and coworkerEmma told me over the phone.
No worries at all.
I mean, I don't celebrate it.
It's not my holiday.
Just that management. No.
And then go and have fun with your family.
Celebrating Thanksgiving asa British person felt almost blasphemous.
Not as much as celebratingIndependence Day, but similar.
(00:23):
Here are the best I owe you.
We'll have to go to pieces onceI'm back. My treat.
Peace. Food. My favorite restaurant.
I was vegan now.
Oh, there's no need. Honest.
I slipped my fingers bleeding.
Oh, my God. You're okay? Yeah, I think so.
I just stab myself with a nail.
Listen,I think I need to go take care of this.
(00:43):
Sorry.
Talk soon. Love ya.
I hung up the phoneand raced to my bathroom.
I was really bleeding around the tapand held my index finger
under the cold water,watching the blood trickle down the drain.
And though I pride myself on being anexcellent multitasker, as all women are,
it appeared I couldn't build a bedand talk on the phone simultaneously.
(01:03):
Maybe I was parched, Ismail.
Eventually,I was able to bandage up the wound.
I headed back into my bedroom,which contained the first half of a built
IKEA bed frame. I couldn't help but smile.
Welcome to F-you NYC
An IDC production starring Emily Eden,written and created by Emily Eden
(01:24):
Sound Design and Engineeringby BlueSky Asher Executive Producer.
Marcy Gilbertco-created, produced and directed
by Eric Wickstrom.
I was currently living between Harlemin the Bronx, Hamilton Heights.
It would laterbe called by obnoxious White Gentrifiers.
If you look at the map of Manhattan,it was the last stop of the three
(01:45):
traindead center and way above Central Park.
I was sharing with a veta super sweet Florida native Florida.
Now there's a place on my bucket list.
I love alligators.
We had met shortlyafter I graduated from school.
And when I say graduated,I mean shortly after I had walked
across the graduation stageto collect a diploma last folder.
(02:07):
Apparently, you only get your diplomaif you pay off all your tuition fees.
Isolated $40,000 that I planned to pay offafter my big break happens.
It was a very expensive piece of paper
that had worked as the stage manager of a
nonpaying production of Medeathat I performed in the show
was performed in various local parkswith very small audience,
(02:28):
not many of which could speak English,let alone ancient Greek verse.
Any other cast members were batshit crazy.
One girl threw a mirror at the directorwhen he gave her a critique
before the performance.
A vet and I cowered under a table togetherduring this episode and became friends.
We discoveredwe were both in need of new lodgings,
so we spent hours and days trawlingthrough the foot fetish advertisements
(02:52):
on Craigslist until we eventually founda listing for a two bedroom apartment.
And that was how our apartment Tulip
three end came to be our home.
The neighborhood was as uspretty interesting
and our apartment building was oppositethe projects.
Yes, I've said I'm in the minority.
But wasn't it about time that we weremost of the locals are friendly
(03:15):
and welcoming consideringwe were encroaching on their turf.
But that was the odd gang who werethreatening a life here and there.
We felt a little saferthanks to our new super who was an ex
boxing champion Israel.
Israel was a friendly giantand instantly helped us feel at home.
We also made friends with the guywho lived in the apartment down below us.
James James was a jazz musicianwho had collaborated with John Legend
(03:37):
and a cinema photographerand multi-talented artist.
He was very easy on the eyes.
I was able to pay my rent and buy a bed.
It took me three years,but finally I had a real bed,
all thanks to waitressingand the tackiest restaurant in the city.
Moonlight Groove Diner,
a themed dining experience that attractedtourists like moths to a flame.
(03:59):
It was so popular that these touristswould queue around the block,
and no matter the weather, waiting hoursjust to hear us sing
Don't Stop Believin while bringing thema cookies and cream milkshake.
It was cheesy, it was exhausting.
And my manager was a complete knob,but I finally had a decent paycheck.
The next morning I left my apartmentto head to work.
(04:19):
It was six in the morning andI was about to embark on an 18 hour shift.
A man in a skullcap looked me up and downas I walked past that.
Did guys nobody. I walked right past him.
How many?
How about we get a little jiggle with it?
Yeah.
You want me doing it in a tree?
Hey, man.
No, thank you.
(04:41):
Not sure my husband will approve.
I really needed to become one of thosewomen who invest in a fake wedding ring.
The princess talkslike she is Harry Potter or something.
That shit makes me horny.
Come on, Harry Potter.
This made sweet, sweet music.
Before the sun comes up,I'll whip up my wand to sit Henry
(05:01):
Hill, your sexy baby.
HarryPotter has a finesse and some big outfit.
The skullcap lacked a certain charmthat did it for me.
So I gave a little smileand walked a little faster,
powering myselfalong more with my right arm than my left.
It was like watching Nimmo try and run.
Just keep walking. Just keep walking.
(05:22):
The first half of my long, laborious shifthadn't been rewarding financially.
I only had three tables.
However, I was able to watch some of the
Thanksgiving parade out of the window,and that was bloody amazing.
Snoopy forever before every shift.
We had a staff meeting in the event spacedownstairs at the diner.
Having worked the last 7 hours,I was already in my uniform of a neon pink
(05:46):
ra scarce and a silver bowling shirt,but other girls were changing into theirs.
Cue my tractor by manager Rasputin.
He somehow always managed to knowwhen we were changing.
My guess is he was usingthe security cameras as intel.
I could hear a
colleague of mine singing Depeche Modein the restaurant upstairs,
and I'm sure the patrons diningcouldn't get enough of it.
(06:08):
I sat at one of the tables,hastily shoving salad into my mouth.
This was my only breakfor the entire 18 hours.
Saladwas the only good option on the menu.
I don't actually love salad.
I mean, I would have gotten so fatif I wasn't vegan now.
The kitchen staff loved meand would have happily supplied me
with bounteous about the mozzarella sticksto hide in my apron for a casual snack.
(06:30):
Old Hollywood it being game.
You see, old Hollywhen back in the UK had been picked
to be probably comparableto the Snoopy balloon in the parade.
But perhaps what is likely to happenif your diet consists of several Malibu
and Cokes and a double cheeseburger witha side of large fries just for breakfast.
Most of my salad Rasputincame and sat next to me as he spoke.
(06:54):
He placed a hand on my thigh.
He remindedme of the snake in the Jungle Book.
How are you today, My favorite prince?
I'm good, thanks.
My skin crawled through.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
What could have been more creeped out?
He disgusted me more than the peoplewho just sat on the subway
and repeatedly sniff.
(07:15):
It's like he's a fucking tissue.
We're all adults.
Do you know I love British people?
They are my favorite.I wondered if he thought
all British people loved anthraxas much as his people.
He was so close,I could feel his breath on my skin.
Oh. Oh, they.
Oh. Oh.
I tried to laugh it off,but I wanted to vomit.
(07:35):
Cucumberand vegan ranch all over the paper.
Saved by the bell, the male
weight has begun to arrive and Rasputinslithered away to begin the meeting.
I saw C.J., a super hot
waiter that had the most perfect dimplesof any human alive.
Not only was he a looker,he was super sweet.
And when he sang,he sounded just like Jon Bon Jovi.
(07:57):
During this time, that was not the John.
These days, you have to remember the Kingsduring his greatest power ballad.
Let's all go to the back room.
Ten staff membersfollowed him into the back room where
the industrial fridgeswhere whilst I was daydreaming
and not paying attention to Rasputin,something was said that upset C.J..
What did you just say to me?
C.J. explained to up her back to the boss.
(08:18):
I said, Are you a fucking pussy boy?
Love Dick.
He put this guy in charge of a familyfucking restaurant.
You can't say that to me.
You know what?
Screw you, man. C.J.
went to leave the meeting,having to do so,
bypassing Russia's so-called greetersLove machine before he could leave.
Rasputin being big and strong,eyes flaming, grabbed him
(08:39):
by the shoulders and steered himtoward a large upright freezer.
He then proceeded to smash his headinto the freezer door
multiple times,causing his nose to shatter.
The girlsstared, hustling each other in fear.
Jennifer was crying.Jennifer always cried.
There's always one crier, isn't there?
The guys were also tooafraid to get involved.
(08:59):
They were fearful
the same would happen to themor that they would lose their paychecks.
This meeting is over.
Get to fucking work.
It's going to be busyand people need fucking milkshakes.
He departed to his officeprobably to jack off.
I ran up to help. C.J., are you okay?
You need to go to a hospital.
Someone brought C.J.
a cloth with ice,and we all began cleaning him up
(09:19):
before headingback upstairs to wait tables.
There's nothing left to talk
about unless it's horizontally.
I dropped off some mustard at table nine.
I smiled at the diners and kept singing.
Let's get physical. Physical?
Oh, I want to get physical.
(09:40):
As I sang the last note,I gave a little curtly.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Next up, the affable Jennifer.
I passed off the microphone to Jennifer,knowing she would sing alone by heart,
Show off.And then I snuck off to the ladies room.
I wanted to textand see how C.J. was doing.
He had gone to the hospitalas I pulled out my phone.
I had three messages and one voicemail.
(10:02):
I pressed play on the voicemail. Hi.
This is a message about your son, Prince.
He never showed up at school today.
Please give us a call back.
Thank you.
Okay. Well, that's definitely not for me.
I mean, I don't recall ever giving birth
unless I had been getting secretlyabducted by aliens.
I checked my text messages.
One was from my neighbor, James. Hi.
(10:22):
How are you?
I'm busy traveling back to the future,James.
I'll respond later.
Next, you messages, Rasputin.
I tensed up.
What are you doing? Text me, please.
We. It gets our text back.
Maybe he needs me to work an extra shift.
I mean, not only do I have to buysome bedding in the Black Friday sales.
I am meeting with a lawyer soonto help with my green card.
(10:44):
And lawyers aren't cheap.
I'm working.
Am I in trouble for responding?
He replied In seconds.
Take night off. Have dinner with me.
Is he serious? The fuck?
How do I handle this one?
Also,how does he have an appetite after causing
mass destruction to someone's oncefaultless face?
(11:04):
Ha. Very funny.
That should do the trick.
I'm serious.
Spend Thanksgiving with me. My treat.
I'm a lonely boy. Yes.
Christ.
I sent my phone into my pocketand ran out of the cubicle.
Not texting him back. Fuck that.
That night or early morning,as I was on the train home,
I pulled out my phone,which I normally try not to do.
(11:26):
That had recently been a series of phonemuggings whilst commuting.
And I know you really can't judge a bookand all that, but there did seem
to be a bunch of dodgycharacters sharing my subway car home.
Rule number one never make eye contact.
I texted t.j.
Hey you. How are you doing?
You need anything?
I was about to put my phone awaywhen I decided to respond to James's
(11:47):
text message from earlier.
Hey. Sorry. Was working.
Only getting home now.
If you're good, you want to see me?
See you, James. Oh, fuck you.
Yeah, I want to see him.
It had been a draining day. Hmm.
I took a few moments before responding.
As I sat there decidingif I wanted to get laid or not,
(12:09):
I got a massive waft of a really eggyfood.
Oh. I scrunched up my noseand shoved my head into my jacket.
Oh, what if stank?
Absolutely reeked.
Oh. Times like this.
I wish taxi drivers weren'tafraid to drive me home, for fuck's sake.
Once I was able to breathe and thinkclearly again, I replied to Jane's Sure.
(12:33):
Meet me off the train.
And when you're getting in Smiley faceemoji.
Six mins. Three miles stopped
as I exited the subway station.
James was there to meet me.
As soon as I saw him.
All awkwardness and hesitation subsided.
I leapt into his arms and began hurriedlykissing him.
It was nice to feel safe again,even if it were just for a night.
(12:55):
La la la.
Hopping over there.
Looks like she found her precious.
Hi. Go ahead. Gather.
Get your wine wet.
Later we pull it apart and laugh.
So your place or mine?
Later that morning,I crept up the stairs to Tulip three,
and I made myself a cup of Earl Grayand sat on my pink couch from Target.
(13:16):
It had been a good night with James.
Months of flirtinghad meant a lot of pent up sexual tension.
The first timehadn't involved a lot of stamina,
but he made up for me at the Timesafter that.
I smiled.
We're playing us kissingand him nibbling my neck.
I love a good neck. Nibble.
Vampire fetish in that story pendant,she came out in her retro
(13:37):
Winnie the Pooh pajamas.
Morning.
She headed into the kitchen,which was just an extension
of our living roomto make herself a cup of coffee.
I am British. Therefore, I have tea.
Yvette is American.
Therefore she has coffee.
Where were you last night?
Don't think I heard you come home.
(13:58):
Oh, I work late at double and then?
Well, I may have stayed at James's.
Wait, what?
Oh, he's hot.
She was right. He was.
So how was it?
How do you answer that question?
Other than it was nice
that made herself a bowl of Cheeriosand sat down next to me.
(14:18):
We couldn't afford a TV,so this conversation wasn't
going to end that easily.
So tell me everything.
Well, he met me off the subwayafter a horrible shift,
and then one thing led to another.
You know what it's likewhen you just don't want to do
the three minutewalk from the train to your house alone
in fear as some of your favoritefictional characters being sexualized.
(14:43):
And he was a gentleman.
Oh, he came and met me to make sureI got home okay.
I knew I was blushing.
I could feel my cheeks getting hot.
Damn my big rosy English milkmaid treat.
You think this will become a thing?
I'm not sure.
Probably not.
I took a sip of my teaand wondered what James's and mine's
(15:03):
babies would look likeif we were to become a thing.
I suppose they would be creative.
Next time on F-you, NYC,
Geronimo Lawyers and the best looking menin NYC grabbed Harley's knickers. Hi.
Excuse me, but I think you dropped these.
Have you NYC and DC production?
(15:25):
Guest starring Jamie Lapchick.
Mike Trick Ario. Miles Elliott. Three.
Gordon Bradley. Dean. Tony Gannon.
Thank you for working my shift tomorrow.
Really happy to be spending Thanksgivingwith the fam.
My friend and coworkerEmma told me over the phone.
No worries at all.
I mean, I don't celebrate it.
It's not my holiday.
Just that management. No.
And then go and have fun with your family.
Celebrating Thanksgiving asa British person felt almost blasphemous.
Not as much as celebratingIndependence Day, but similar.
(00:23):
Here are the best I owe you.
We'll have to go to pieces onceI'm back. My treat.
Peace. Food. My favorite restaurant.
I was vegan now.
Oh, there's no need. Honest.
I slipped my fingers bleeding.
Oh, my God. You're okay? Yeah, I think so.
I just stab myself with a nail.
Listen,I think I need to go take care of this.
(00:43):
Sorry.
Talk soon. Love ya.
I hung up the phoneand raced to my bathroom.
I was really bleeding around the tapand held my index finger
under the cold water,watching the blood trickle down the drain.
And though I pride myself on being anexcellent multitasker, as all women are,
it appeared I couldn't build a bedand talk on the phone simultaneously.
(01:03):
Maybe I was parched, Ismail.
Eventually,I was able to bandage up the wound.
I headed back into my bedroom,which contained the first half of a built
IKEA bed frame. I couldn't help but smile.
Welcome to F-you NYC
An IDC production starring Emily Eden,written and created by Emily Eden
(01:24):
Sound Design and Engineeringby BlueSky Asher Executive Producer.
Marcy Gilbertco-created, produced and directed
by Eric Wickstrom.
I was currently living between Harlemin the Bronx, Hamilton Heights.
It would laterbe called by obnoxious White Gentrifiers.
If you look at the map of Manhattan,it was the last stop of the three
(01:45):
traindead center and way above Central Park.
I was sharing with a veta super sweet Florida native Florida.
Now there's a place on my bucket list.
I love alligators.
We had met shortlyafter I graduated from school.
And when I say graduated,I mean shortly after I had walked
across the graduation stageto collect a diploma last folder.
(02:07):
Apparently, you only get your diplomaif you pay off all your tuition fees.
Isolated $40,000 that I planned to pay offafter my big break happens.
It was a very expensive piece of paper
that had worked as the stage manager of a
nonpaying production of Medeathat I performed in the show
was performed in various local parkswith very small audience,
(02:28):
not many of which could speak English,let alone ancient Greek verse.
Any other cast members were batshit crazy.
One girl threw a mirror at the directorwhen he gave her a critique
before the performance.
A vet and I cowered under a table togetherduring this episode and became friends.
We discoveredwe were both in need of new lodgings,
so we spent hours and days trawlingthrough the foot fetish advertisements
(02:52):
on Craigslist until we eventually founda listing for a two bedroom apartment.
And that was how our apartment Tulip
three end came to be our home.
The neighborhood was as uspretty interesting
and our apartment building was oppositethe projects.
Yes, I've said I'm in the minority.
But wasn't it about time that we weremost of the locals are friendly
(03:15):
and welcoming consideringwe were encroaching on their turf.
But that was the odd gang who werethreatening a life here and there.
We felt a little saferthanks to our new super who was an ex
boxing champion Israel.
Israel was a friendly giantand instantly helped us feel at home.
We also made friends with the guywho lived in the apartment down below us.
James James was a jazz musicianwho had collaborated with John Legend
(03:37):
and a cinema photographerand multi-talented artist.
He was very easy on the eyes.
I was able to pay my rent and buy a bed.
It took me three years,but finally I had a real bed,
all thanks to waitressingand the tackiest restaurant in the city.
Moonlight Groove Diner,
a themed dining experience that attractedtourists like moths to a flame.
(03:59):
It was so popular that these touristswould queue around the block,
and no matter the weather, waiting hoursjust to hear us sing
Don't Stop Believin while bringing thema cookies and cream milkshake.
It was cheesy, it was exhausting.
And my manager was a complete knob,but I finally had a decent paycheck.
The next morning I left my apartmentto head to work.
(04:19):
It was six in the morning andI was about to embark on an 18 hour shift.
A man in a skullcap looked me up and downas I walked past that.
Did guys nobody. I walked right past him.
How many?
How about we get a little jiggle with it?
Yeah.
You want me doing it in a tree?
Hey, man.
No, thank you.
(04:41):
Not sure my husband will approve.
I really needed to become one of thosewomen who invest in a fake wedding ring.
The princess talkslike she is Harry Potter or something.
That shit makes me horny.
Come on, Harry Potter.
This made sweet, sweet music.
Before the sun comes up,I'll whip up my wand to sit Henry
(05:01):
Hill, your sexy baby.
HarryPotter has a finesse and some big outfit.
The skullcap lacked a certain charmthat did it for me.
So I gave a little smileand walked a little faster,
powering myselfalong more with my right arm than my left.
It was like watching Nimmo try and run.
Just keep walking. Just keep walking.
(05:22):
The first half of my long, laborious shifthadn't been rewarding financially.
I only had three tables.
However, I was able to watch some of the
Thanksgiving parade out of the window,and that was bloody amazing.
Snoopy forever before every shift.
We had a staff meeting in the event spacedownstairs at the diner.
Having worked the last 7 hours,I was already in my uniform of a neon pink
(05:46):
ra scarce and a silver bowling shirt,but other girls were changing into theirs.
Cue my tractor by manager Rasputin.
He somehow always managed to knowwhen we were changing.
My guess is he was usingthe security cameras as intel.
I could hear a
colleague of mine singing Depeche Modein the restaurant upstairs,
and I'm sure the patrons diningcouldn't get enough of it.
(06:08):
I sat at one of the tables,hastily shoving salad into my mouth.
This was my only breakfor the entire 18 hours.
Saladwas the only good option on the menu.
I don't actually love salad.
I mean, I would have gotten so fatif I wasn't vegan now.
The kitchen staff loved meand would have happily supplied me
with bounteous about the mozzarella sticksto hide in my apron for a casual snack.
(06:30):
Old Hollywood it being game.
You see, old Hollywhen back in the UK had been picked
to be probably comparableto the Snoopy balloon in the parade.
But perhaps what is likely to happenif your diet consists of several Malibu
and Cokes and a double cheeseburger witha side of large fries just for breakfast.
Most of my salad Rasputincame and sat next to me as he spoke.
(06:54):
He placed a hand on my thigh.
He remindedme of the snake in the Jungle Book.
How are you today, My favorite prince?
I'm good, thanks.
My skin crawled through.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
What could have been more creeped out?
He disgusted me more than the peoplewho just sat on the subway
and repeatedly sniff.
(07:15):
It's like he's a fucking tissue.
We're all adults.
Do you know I love British people?
They are my favorite.I wondered if he thought
all British people loved anthraxas much as his people.
He was so close,I could feel his breath on my skin.
Oh. Oh, they.
Oh. Oh.
I tried to laugh it off,but I wanted to vomit.
(07:35):
Cucumberand vegan ranch all over the paper.
Saved by the bell, the male
weight has begun to arrive and Rasputinslithered away to begin the meeting.
I saw C.J., a super hot
waiter that had the most perfect dimplesof any human alive.
Not only was he a looker,he was super sweet.
And when he sang,he sounded just like Jon Bon Jovi.
(07:57):
During this time, that was not the John.
These days, you have to remember the Kingsduring his greatest power ballad.
Let's all go to the back room.
Ten staff membersfollowed him into the back room where
the industrial fridgeswhere whilst I was daydreaming
and not paying attention to Rasputin,something was said that upset C.J..
What did you just say to me?
C.J. explained to up her back to the boss.
(08:18):
I said, Are you a fucking pussy boy?
Love Dick.
He put this guy in charge of a familyfucking restaurant.
You can't say that to me.
You know what?
Screw you, man. C.J.
went to leave the meeting,having to do so,
bypassing Russia's so-called greetersLove machine before he could leave.
Rasputin being big and strong,eyes flaming, grabbed him
(08:39):
by the shoulders and steered himtoward a large upright freezer.
He then proceeded to smash his headinto the freezer door
multiple times,causing his nose to shatter.
The girlsstared, hustling each other in fear.
Jennifer was crying.Jennifer always cried.
There's always one crier, isn't there?
The guys were also tooafraid to get involved.
(08:59):
They were fearful
the same would happen to themor that they would lose their paychecks.
This meeting is over.
Get to fucking work.
It's going to be busyand people need fucking milkshakes.
He departed to his officeprobably to jack off.
I ran up to help. C.J., are you okay?
You need to go to a hospital.
Someone brought C.J.
a cloth with ice,and we all began cleaning him up
(09:19):
before headingback upstairs to wait tables.
There's nothing left to talk
about unless it's horizontally.
I dropped off some mustard at table nine.
I smiled at the diners and kept singing.
Let's get physical. Physical?
Oh, I want to get physical.
(09:40):
As I sang the last note,I gave a little curtly.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Next up, the affable Jennifer.
I passed off the microphone to Jennifer,knowing she would sing alone by heart,
Show off.And then I snuck off to the ladies room.
I wanted to textand see how C.J. was doing.
He had gone to the hospitalas I pulled out my phone.
I had three messages and one voicemail.
(10:02):
I pressed play on the voicemail. Hi.
This is a message about your son, Prince.
He never showed up at school today.
Please give us a call back.
Thank you.
Okay. Well, that's definitely not for me.
I mean, I don't recall ever giving birth
unless I had been getting secretlyabducted by aliens.
I checked my text messages.
One was from my neighbor, James. Hi.
(10:22):
How are you?
I'm busy traveling back to the future,James.
I'll respond later.
Next, you messages, Rasputin.
I tensed up.
What are you doing? Text me, please.
We. It gets our text back.
Maybe he needs me to work an extra shift.
I mean, not only do I have to buysome bedding in the Black Friday sales.
I am meeting with a lawyer soonto help with my green card.
(10:44):
And lawyers aren't cheap.
I'm working.
Am I in trouble for responding?
He replied In seconds.
Take night off. Have dinner with me.
Is he serious? The fuck?
How do I handle this one?
Also,how does he have an appetite after causing
mass destruction to someone's oncefaultless face?
(11:04):
Ha. Very funny.
That should do the trick.
I'm serious.
Spend Thanksgiving with me. My treat.
I'm a lonely boy. Yes.
Christ.
I sent my phone into my pocketand ran out of the cubicle.
Not texting him back. Fuck that.
That night or early morning,as I was on the train home,
I pulled out my phone,which I normally try not to do.
(11:26):
That had recently been a series of phonemuggings whilst commuting.
And I know you really can't judge a bookand all that, but there did seem
to be a bunch of dodgycharacters sharing my subway car home.
Rule number one never make eye contact.
I texted t.j.
Hey you. How are you doing?
You need anything?
I was about to put my phone awaywhen I decided to respond to James's
(11:47):
text message from earlier.
Hey. Sorry. Was working.
Only getting home now.
If you're good, you want to see me?
See you, James. Oh, fuck you.
Yeah, I want to see him.
It had been a draining day. Hmm.
I took a few moments before responding.
As I sat there decidingif I wanted to get laid or not,
(12:09):
I got a massive waft of a really eggyfood.
Oh. I scrunched up my noseand shoved my head into my jacket.
Oh, what if stank?
Absolutely reeked.
Oh. Times like this.
I wish taxi drivers weren'tafraid to drive me home, for fuck's sake.
Once I was able to breathe and thinkclearly again, I replied to Jane's Sure.
(12:33):
Meet me off the train.
And when you're getting in Smiley faceemoji.
Six mins. Three miles stopped
as I exited the subway station.
James was there to meet me.
As soon as I saw him.
All awkwardness and hesitation subsided.
I leapt into his arms and began hurriedlykissing him.
It was nice to feel safe again,even if it were just for a night.
(12:55):
La la la.
Hopping over there.
Looks like she found her precious.
Hi. Go ahead. Gather.
Get your wine wet.
Later we pull it apart and laugh.
So your place or mine?
Later that morning,I crept up the stairs to Tulip three,
and I made myself a cup of Earl Grayand sat on my pink couch from Target.
(13:16):
It had been a good night with James.
Months of flirtinghad meant a lot of pent up sexual tension.
The first timehadn't involved a lot of stamina,
but he made up for me at the Timesafter that.
I smiled.
We're playing us kissingand him nibbling my neck.
I love a good neck. Nibble.
Vampire fetish in that story pendant,she came out in her retro
(13:37):
Winnie the Pooh pajamas.
Morning.
She headed into the kitchen,which was just an extension
of our living roomto make herself a cup of coffee.
I am British. Therefore, I have tea.
Yvette is American.
Therefore she has coffee.
Where were you last night?
Don't think I heard you come home.
(13:58):
Oh, I work late at double and then?
Well, I may have stayed at James's.
Wait, what?
Oh, he's hot.
She was right. He was.
So how was it?
How do you answer that question?
Other than it was nice
that made herself a bowl of Cheeriosand sat down next to me.
(14:18):
We couldn't afford a TV,so this conversation wasn't
going to end that easily.
So tell me everything.
Well, he met me off the subwayafter a horrible shift,
and then one thing led to another.
You know what it's likewhen you just don't want to do
the three minutewalk from the train to your house alone
in fear as some of your favoritefictional characters being sexualized.
(14:43):
And he was a gentleman.
Oh, he came and met me to make sureI got home okay.
I knew I was blushing.
I could feel my cheeks getting hot.
Damn my big rosy English milkmaid treat.
You think this will become a thing?
I'm not sure.
Probably not.
I took a sip of my teaand wondered what James's and mine's
(15:03):
babies would look likeif we were to become a thing.
I suppose they would be creative.
Next time on F-you, NYC,
Geronimo Lawyers and the best looking menin NYC grabbed Harley's knickers. Hi.
Excuse me, but I think you dropped these.
Have you NYC and DC production?
(15:25):
Guest starring Jamie Lapchick.
Mike Trick Ario. Miles Elliott. Three.
Gordon Bradley. Dean. Tony Gannon.
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