In this special episode of Game Changers – Athlete Edition, hosts Kortney Harmon, Julie Jones sit down with Karen and Nick Scott, the parents behind rising soccer star Katie Scott. The Scotts share their real, unfiltered perspective on raising not just a pro athlete, but a family of driven competitors. From juggling hectic schedules with four active kids to finding the balance between support and pressure, they dive deep into the family dynamics that helped Katie reach the NWSL and represent the U.S. national team.
Discover their approach to motivation, resilience, and navigating setbacks at high levels of competition—plus, why “having fun” is still their most important advice both for parents and aspiring athletes. The Scotts open up about sibling support, managing parental emotions on the sidelines, letting kids build their own fire, and the difference between living for the game and living a well-rounded life. Whether you’re a sports parent, coach, or athlete, this episode is packed with candid insights and actionable advice straight from a family that’s been at every stage of the athletic journey.
Stay tuned for the follow-up, where you’ll hear directly from Katie about her own journey, but for now, don’t miss the inside scoop from the people who know her best.
DISCLAIMER: This content is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute professional coaching or mental health advice. Do not disregard, avoid, or delay obtaining advice from qualified professionals because of something you may have heard in an episode of Game Changers: Athlete Edition. You should not rely on this information as a substitute for professional coaching, mental performance, or medical advice. Please consult with qualified professionals for proper evaluation and guidance specific to your situation. Guests who speak on this podcast express their own opinions, experiences, and conclusions. Neither the Game Changers: Athlete Edition hosts nor any company providing support endorses or opposes any particular training, coaching, or treatment methods discussed in the episodes. They are not responsible for any actions or inactions of listeners based on the information presented. The strategies, tips, and information shared in this podcast are based on the hosts' experiences and professional expertise, but results may vary. The use of any information provided is solely at your own risk.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
If you present the fact that, look, this is a big deal for
you, but in life it's a small
deal. This is a journey. And so you almost have to
explain, look, you're going to be playing this game for a
long time. You love this game. You want to play in college. You
would love to be a professional. You want to make the national team. This
(00:23):
is a journey, not a sprint. And so if you don't make this
today, you make it next time. You work harder, you find out what you can
do. But I think.
Welcome to Game Changers Athlete Edition. I'm Kortney Harmon,
a former Division 1 softball pitcher turned high performance business
coach who knows what it takes to translate athletic mindset
(00:47):
into real world success. And I'm Julie Jones, a Hall of Famer and
former Division 1 head coach with more than 20 years of experience turned mental
performance coach. Together, we bridge the gap between elite
athletics and lifelong achievement, helping you unlock your full
potential on and off the field. This podcast is your go
to source for inspiration, motivation, amazing
(01:09):
guests and actionable insights to help you elevate your
game. All right, welcome back to another
episode of Game Changers Athlete Edition. And today we have
an incredible family joining us who knows what it takes to develop
an elite athletic talent. We're sitting
down with the family of Katie Scott, who is a 17 year
(01:31):
old professional soccer player who recently signed with Kansas City Current
of the NWSL after an impressive season with Penn
State. This is where we're actually joining Katie's
parents, Karen and Nick Scott, both former Penn State
athletes themselves. That's right. And this is truly a
special episode. Right. And we're so happy to have you. Welcome,
(01:53):
Nick and Karen. The great part about this is we're going to be
able to get this experience from both
sides. We'll have Katie on in her own separate episode, but today
we're going to talk about family dynamics and motivation and how
all the things came together to help Katie reach her goals.
Because we know parents have a play a huge role in that and who better
(02:16):
to talk to than someone who has guided an
amazing young woman to the heights, to the
highest level of women's soccer in our country. Also,
Katie was a member of or is a member of the US National Team. So
we've done everything or they have crossed every bridge. So we're going
to pull some great information for students,
(02:38):
athletes and parents through today's episode. So Kortney, I'll kick
it back to you and we can get this information session
rolling. I love this. And obviously we had to
do a Little stalking prior to Julie, got to tell me some information. But
as I learned, you were both former college athletes themselves. Karen, you
were a gymnast. Scott, you were a soccer player, both at Penn State. And
(03:01):
it's truly amazing you've created an environment where athletic
excellence has flourished. So with Kaney
now signing professionally and your sons are also playing
competitively, I know many parents listening are excited to
learn about your approach to raising these athletes and how you did
it. Julie, you want to kick us off with a question?
(03:23):
I'm going to let Nick take it from there. No, I was just going to
say thank you for bringing us on.
I honestly, there's no blueprint for this. It's just a function
of, you know, you have four kids and you,
one after the other, kind of close together and you just
kind of run with it. And we obviously are a product of our experience. We
(03:44):
were both athletes at a pretty good, a pretty high level.
So you kind of take your experiences and you don't get directions with
kids. You just start raising them. And so, you know, I don't know that
we had directions or a blueprint for this, but,
you know, we're very proud of all of them, and they're all very different. Every
one of them is very different. But, you know, we're happy to talk about it
(04:06):
and give any insight we can. We don't consider
ourselves professionals at this or experts.
We just happy to be on the show.
Karen, when you and I talked on the phone last week,
we were talking about parental support, and one of the things you
mentioned was somebody from Katie's team came up to you and
(04:30):
said, how do you remain so positive through the
experience? And I thought your response was excellent.
And there's so much pressure, right? You watch. You're watching
your kid at this really high level, and obviously
you're. You're, like, focused in on them and you're watching every move and you
notice every little mistake and every great play. How. How
(04:52):
do you maintain your composure? And how
does that affect both of you? How does that affect your
kids? And what do you see with other parents in
the benefits of having a certain mindset compared to others?
Well, the level that they are at now with Katie and our son Nicholas, who's
playing in Germany, I mean, they're their worst critic. They know what they
(05:15):
did wrong on the field. So our job is to be that support.
When they come off the field and give them the big hug, give them the
smile and tell me you love them and great job out there. They know what
they did. Wrong. They know what they can improve on. And I feel like that's
kind of what we've done from day one, you
know, trying to just. They're doing the work
(05:36):
from day one. Right. They're getting up early in the morning, they're doing the
practices, etc. So when. When they're trying out, competing and on
that field, I just feel like it is.
It's hard to see other parents be so critical because
they're the worst critics. Yeah. And
I think there's a point in time. I played soccer, and
(05:59):
Karen was a competitive athlete, being a gymnast. And
so along the way, it's natural to
coach your children when they're really young and you're in your family
room and they're five years old, four years old, and you're. You're
playing, you know, passing the ball back and forth. You're giving them advice. You know,
when you collect the ball, here's how you do it. Here's how you strike the
(06:20):
ball and you have fun with it. It's like a game. At some point in
time during that process, as they get older, you transition away from being
a coach. I don't have any licenses. I'm not a coach. They're
surrounded by such great support in the coaching
world that when they come off the field and maybe didn't have their
best game or their team didn't win, they don't need to be told
(06:42):
that. They know that. Yeah, they come off the field, they don't. You don't need
to say, hey, you could have done this better. You could have done this. Why
don't you collect the ball better? Why don't you look for the outside winger when
you had the ball in the middle on that one play?
There's no place for that. Because first of all, they know that. You
don't have to remind them of that. What you need to do is say, hey,
you know what? It was a great game. I thought your team did great. You
(07:06):
made people around you better. You know what's next, and you know,
life's bigger than soccer. And so if you keep that in mind all the time,
I think they don't have that pressure. They come off the field and there's somebody
immediately saying to them, well, why don't you do this? Why don't
you work harder? Why don't you score more? I think it
immediately takes. They're already kind of in an
(07:28):
upset mood, just even worse. And
the one thing about this sport and any sport, you have
to create an environment that's Challenging,
but fun. And if it's not fun, they're not playing for
them, they're playing for you. Whether it doesn't just have to be a
parent. It could be an uncle, it could be a
(07:51):
brother, it could be a coach.
You know, there's a lot of good parenting out there, though. A lot of these
kids are getting to this level because of the fact
that their parents have been so good with them. So,
you know, we. We just kind of trudge along
and, you know, if it's not the best game or the best
(08:13):
situation, you know, move on. What's next? We stay next to
action. What's. What's coming next. That's what we'll worry about, that we'll remember what we
did in the past so we can learn from it. But let's move on.
Right. I think that next action is that. What a great statement.
Right. And I'm sure you use that in business. I mean, this is all the
same. And if you are ultra critical of the people that work for
(08:35):
you. That's right. They're going to second guess everything they do well.
And the reality is in this game, it's a game of a thousand mistakes. You
will make so many mistakes and have so many failures. And
the reality is you will not play. You will get benched, you
will lose a game, you will have a bad training, you will get
hurt and have to deal with injury. All those things build
(08:57):
you into a character that allows you to succeed.
And with Katie, for example, it just happens right in front
of you. Like, you see it happening. You see
her fail and get upset, and you're there to support her.
And then the reality is
she's the very next day, the very next week, their
(09:19):
successes and their successes because of those
failures. And so, you know,
it's not something you can just pick up a book and say, okay, how do
I raise a child to be a professional athlete? Or how do I raise a
child to be a competitive athlete? It just kind of happens.
And I think you just have to create a support system around them to let
(09:40):
them thrive. Yeah. And you lay the foundation when they're young.
Commitment, dedication. I think, you know,
support even the brothers. You know, Katie has three older brothers,
and whether they are playing high school basketball and not at the
college level, and Katie was supporting her brother Zap or
supporting her brother Will, and they're at Penn State right now, and
(10:02):
they are fraternity brothers and having the best time of
their lives. And it's funny because, you know,
she supports them and everything they do and they support her and everything that she
does. And I think that's. There's no jealousy. There's no.
It's just a really. It's a. We're very lucky and very fortunate with
that. I noticed on her Instagram,
(10:26):
because I follow on Instagram she has pictures of, she has videos of her brothers
playing basketball. You know, like she's there, you know, like, it's,
it's no different than the videos of her playing for the national team.
It's. They are this. That's just how we roll. Yes,
absolutely. You obviously have
helped her navigate very new waters,
(10:47):
obviously. And there's constant pressure, I'm sure.
So as you helped Katie through this, how do you, how do
you help manage the pressure of such a high level of competition
from such an early age? What advice do you have?
Honestly, don't take it so seriously. I'm just
telling you, like, these kids are 12, 13,
(11:10):
14, 11 years old and they're waiting for an
email to find out if they made a roster. The pressure of that on
a child that young is so challenging
that I think if you present
the fact that, look, this is a big deal for you, but in
life, it's a small deal.
(11:32):
This is a journey. And so you almost have to explain,
look, you're going to be playing this game for a long time.
You love this game. You want to play in college. You would love to be
a professional. You want to make the national team. This is
a journey, not a sprint. And so if you don't make this today,
you make it next time. You work harder, you find out what you can do.
(11:55):
But I think if there's pressure to make it and there's
disappointment surrounding them when they don't,
that's challenging. They already have enough challenge to see some of the,
these, these girls and these young athletes go through the pressure that
they have to go through on their own. Yeah. There's no reason to give them
added pressure. Well, just being a female athlete, a
(12:15):
teenage athlete, you know, there's so much pressure just with the social media
aspect, I think. I mean, I think our boys didn't have as much
pressure. You know, I think girls do. So I think even
with Katie, I mean, I think we talk about trusting the process.
Be patient. I think that's a huge thing with Katie, especially right
(12:36):
now, patience. She's 17 years old and patience, I
mean, she's in an incredible environment with, you know, top
notch coaching. Her teammates are phenomenal.
Couldn't ask you on a better team, to be honest. In the environment. But
she's 17, you know, I mean, her mentors are World cup players who
are 27. We couldn't ask for anything more. But she has to be patient. You
(12:58):
know, it's not, she's not going to roll in and, you know, X, Y and
Z. It's just, I think that's hard. That's hard, but it's. Concentrate,
Katie, trust the process, be patient. And Katie has
a lot of faith and she trusts a lot. And what did she say? Like,
worry about nothing but trust, you know, with God. And I think she, she
has that really. She has a really great faith based. She's really,
(13:21):
you know, I feel like that's one of her strengths and she has
that. So that's amazing. It's interesting. It's interesting you say that because I know
as a coach, I always felt like a lot of the kids who had
a face. Faith based, whatever their faith was, because
we had kids that were faith, you know, in my. At all. At my different
institutions and. But when you have this sort of
(13:43):
faith base and you realize that you're part of a bigger picture just in general
and you believe in things you can't see, which is
what faith is. Yes. That somehow it,
that those kids are often easier to bring
back to say this is a small part.
Right. This is one thing. This is, you know, what happens today does not determine
(14:05):
what happens tomorrow necessarily. You can influence it, but it's not a. It's not a
directive. So I think that's an interesting thing that you say there. And I see
that in Katie's just her and she. There's something
special about her as well. I wish that everyone on everyone will get to get
to know her. But she's very steady. She's very steady.
There's no doubt about that. Well, I think you always say
(14:28):
the highs aren't as high as you think they are and the lows aren't as
low as I think they are. So you've done a great job with that with
Katie and our kids. You're crying. Don't cry.
That's great. That's wonderful. I feel like you. Because I
get really excited and I get, you know that you have always. Tried to
maintain stability. Yeah. I always say Katie has a lot
(14:49):
of that. You need to look at the situation from 40,000ft.
You know, don't look at now, don't look at the moment so
much. I mean, if you're at a tournament and you're not at the starting
lineup or you're at a tournament and you lose a game and the ref
was bad and you blame, everyone's blaming on the ref. You know,
if you look at it from above, you look at it like, oh, that was
(15:10):
one of my games. In this long journey I'm on, don't dwell on
it so much, Move on. You know, a lot of people aren't going to
remember this. You know, it's a growing, you
grow from it. Of course you're going to have games where that happens and
that's when you grow.
Adversity is big. There's times when
(15:32):
I said to Karen, this is good that this happened today. This is good
that she's upset because it shows how much she cares.
Katie always drove this journey,
always. So if we were getting in the car to drive an hour
and a half to training of two hours one way,
106 miles, if she ever said, I don't want to get
(15:56):
in the car, she said, okay, don't get in the car. We'll
just tell the coach that you're not going today. Yeah, but
you know, there would be, you know, pressure on that, well, will
I play? You know, I'm not really not allowed to skip practice.
Katie, you're driving 200
miles to train four days a week,
(16:19):
going to games even further away on the weekends.
You're 13 years old, you're 12 years old, you don't have to
do this. And it was always driven by Katie,
always driven by Katie. She was the one that said, let's go, dad, we gotta
go, we gotta go. She would wake me up the night
before we go to bed, dad, tomorrow morning before I go to
(16:40):
school, can we train?
You know, yes, we can trade. Because I always
thought to myself, if I have a child that is asking me to train at
6am before school
and I say no, I put her in a position
to want to grow and be better so much
(17:02):
that she's willing to get up at 6am before training, before school,
before she goes to training in the afternoon, just to work on her left foot,
you know, just to work on shooting, just to work on crossing, work on her
ball technique. Yeah, we're going, I'll be there. Yeah. Every day we got
up. Yeah, absolutely. You, you let her drive in
and, and I hope that people hear that if she didn't want to go to
(17:22):
practice, she didn't go. And that doesn't mean, you know, there are times like my
son, when he was a little bit younger, didn't want to go to swimming all
the time. Like nobody, we committed, we didn't go every, every day, you
know. Right. But when they're that deep in
and you know you're allowing her to drive it. I was listening to something yesterday
and it said we have to let them build the fire on their own. We
(17:43):
can help them bring the wood, but they keep the fire going. If
you keep pouring gas on as the demander, when
that gas is taken away, the fire goes out because
there's no ownership over that motivation. And what you're saying is
Katie was the motivator, 100%. And when you
say like you made a commitment, don't quit. This is not about
(18:05):
quitting. This is about a 13 year old driving
12 hours a week to train. Yes, that's a lot
on somebody. Yes, a lot. Mentally, physically. We
only had to do it half the time or me a third of the
time. She drove more than I did. So we're not
doing it as often as she is. Even though we're going a lot.
(18:29):
You know, she drove that. And so when she's driving it,
it's rewarding to her. Yes. And
she gets to deal with
the fact that she wanted it and then she gets to
enjoy the fruits of that labor. It's even better for her.
She enjoyed the successes a lot
(18:52):
and you know, she learned from the failures and
we were just kind of there to help her along and give her.
Support and those failures. Go ahead, Kortney. I
want to ask the question what every parent is listening to this thinking. You just
said 200 miles in one day. You have three other kids.
How the heck did you make that happen? Like that's what's going through my,
(19:15):
my brain. And you have other, other kids doing other things. Right. I want to
know how you as parents made those things happen.
Yeah, we have, we have. They don't know. We have four kids. Yeah, we
have four. And yeah. Yeah, go ahead.
Well, our oldest and I think he was a true inspiration for
Katie at, in ninth grade. Our oldest.
(19:39):
Well, first he drove 200 miles from
training every day, three or four days a
week for from when the time he was
11 or 12 to the same place. We were already
going to Cleveland with him. He made the decision in ninth
grade. Excuse me.
(20:04):
Okay, that's good. This is, this is amazing
stuff. Yeah. Can we make him his family? Yep,
he did. Yeah. And he moved to
Columbus. He tried out for the Columbus Crew Academy and
he lived with a build family, a family he never met
before. And you know, we were shocked.
(20:26):
He wasn't even 16 yet. And he just said, mom and dad,
he was a Straight A student, taking all honors classes, ap. I
can't do both. I feel like it's really important with my
education, but I also want to, you know, get the highest level of soccer. And
the crew he had tried out. He made the team. We found a family, an
absolute, incredible gift in our. In our lives. This family
(20:48):
that he's never met before. And so I think she saw
Nicholas's sacrifice. So then that was. I think they were like six
years apart. Maybe five and a half. Yeah. Yeah, we have four within, like,
six years. And. And so I think
she saw that sacrifice. But getting back to your question, Nicholas
had left, so we had the three. Will and
(21:11):
Zach, and then Katie. And I think we just. It does take a village with
our own hometown. So if you just have to plan. Okay, if I'm
driving to Akron tonight, then, you know, Will got, you know,
lacrosse practice. I would hook up with a parent and say, okay, you take Will,
and then vice versa. We switch the days. But it was. It was constant. You
know, you were working long hours. But he was able to help.
(21:32):
Yeah. Really. Honestly, the
other kids supported Katie 100%.
So they all support each other. So when they all support each
other, there's really nobody missing out. I mean, there's nobody saying, well, why
does Katie get to do this? Or, why are you taking Katie all the time?
They wanted to know what the score of the game was and how she. Did
(21:55):
they win. How did Katie do? They were
never worried about themselves. Yeah. And I think
in regards to it, the
importance of when five was gone. With Katie taking her to Akron, Nick
was making sure the boys, I mean, at practice had
demo, you know, doing their homework. So we still had, you know, a nice schedule.
(22:17):
I mean, I guess you could say we were really scheduled as well. Yes. But
they had fun. They were playing other video games as well. It's not like that.
But, I mean, I think the. You know, we had a good structure.
I'll be honest with you. I don't. When you say the word sacrifice, I don't
think they sacrificed anything for Katie's success. We made it work.
Yeah. You know, we are
(22:38):
fortunate enough to be able to have friends around us to help us. We
never missed a basketball game for our son. That's amazing. You
know, if we had to choose, you know, the high school game
was just as important as the national team. Oh, yeah, we would pay. I mean,
we would pay people we would not miss. We would. We would pay a driver
a couple times to take Katie to train or to take her. So we would
(22:59):
go to the basketball game for ourselves. We. We never really missed anything. So
I don't feel like if you ask them, I don't think they would say, yeah,
my parents were never around and weren't really with us because they were with Katie.
I would never let that happen. I mean, neither of us would. We didn't. So,
yeah, she'll always remember that, too. Because I can tell you, my parents
never missed a game and anything through my mom's cancer treatments, all the things that
(23:21):
she was doing. So I understand the value of this and
I look at it, sacrifice what you guys have made for your kids, too, because
it's truly. You said it takes a village. And. And Karen, I am
sure your planner was down to a team. I know.
Let alone what yours was with for. Well, she had her second game
with the pro team last week, and it was in. It was in
(23:44):
D.C. and we were excited to be able to go, but our sons had
parents weekend at their fraternity, and our one son's a
senior in college, and I was like, katie, guess what? We'll watch it on
tv. Love you. She's like, you better not come to my game. Yeah,
we had the best time at du. Yeah, I bet you did.
I bet you did. Yeah, you're Penn
(24:07):
State. You know you've got a legacy there, right? I will tell you this, and
I think, you know, as you grow older, my dad tells me often, my sister's
about six years younger than me, and he says the greatest gift is
that we are. That we respect each other and love each other, and that's. That's
their doing. That's my parents doing. It was never a comparison. And
I think that's what you're saying right here, is that you're not comparing your kids
(24:29):
with each other. You're teaching them to grow together and
appreciate each other. And when you said they
support each other, I thought, oh, my gosh, no wonder they're so good on
teams, because learn how to be on a team in their own
home. Yeah. Because you have a team is give and take, and a team
is. Is being there for other people and sharing other people's joys and other people's
(24:50):
burdens, and that's what they have lived. So no wonder they cry.
When the kids were young, they used to. We used to. It was always a
competition, always something going on. I probably didn't help that because I was
always like, let's play. You hate to lose. Well, it's not. It's
not even a pit bump. It's not even the truth comes out.
It's not even a function of like hating to lose. You're just competitive, you know,
(25:12):
you, you, you want to win. But
Katie was left kind of as the youngest,
smallest, you know, kind of mightiest one
that was like, I don't, I want to. Don't. She would. There were
times when her oldest brother, who's, you know, five
years, six years older maybe went up, let it up, let up a little bit,
(25:34):
you know, because, you know, he had been beating her. She would get pissed,
you know, don't try harder. This is ridiculous.
And you know, when they lose and they are, there's a fight that breaks out
in the house because they're young and, you know, they're a five year old
versus a nine year old and a nine year old wins and the five year
old gets mad and they start, you know, fighting or they didn't make up,
(25:56):
you know, that's okay. That's life. You know, the one's
got to deal with losing and the other one's got to be a good winner.
And that's what you do. Now there's fireworks going on.
You guys are lighting it up. I don't know what's going on around here, but
I think those things are part of growing up.
(26:17):
And as parents, it's hard to understand what
to do in those situations, but sometimes you just have to let it happen
organically. You're like, yeah, you are pissed you lost.
Yeah. We take those opportunities away from
kids so often anymore. Right. You used to fight in your backyard with your neighbors
if, you know, if someone, you know, used to have to call your own fouls,
(26:39):
and now they don't have to call their own files because they're always being guided
by an adult. But in your own home, like, I remember my cousin
saying, my cousin's husband saying, you know, my boys just fight. I'm like, that's what
brothers do. Yeah, right. And if we, if we don't let them learn how
to do that, they don't know. Learn how to manage conflict.
Yeah. There was a time once where two of my boys were racing to the
(27:00):
car and I was with Kevin's father, who's an
amazing guy and he was a coach all his life.
And they're racing next to each other to the car, and they get there, and
my oldest son, I believe, beat the younger son, touched the car first.
And I said, they were yelling at each other. I won. I won. No, I
didn't. I said, guys, it was a tie. Just get in the Car. Let's go.
(27:20):
And her dad says, it wasn't a tie. He
won. And I was like.
He's like, they didn't tie. He won,
and you lost. And it taught me a lesson because I
was like, wow, you know, that's. That's life, you know,
and you're gonna lose, and you're gonna win, and the wins
(27:43):
aren't always gonna be as high as you think they are, and the losses won't
be as low. And you learn from both. And, you
know, it's. It's a just. It's just, you know, a journey
that is. Is sometimes hard to navigate.
But the winning and losing is. Is an important
thing to learn when you're young. Yes. Before we got on this
(28:05):
call, I told Julie right before I got. I found the stat, Julie. It
said, athletes with siblings in sports are 35 more likely to
reach elite levels as sibling rivalry and support often
fosters the most competitiveness and resilience. I was
not lucky to have siblings. I was an only child, so I had to beat
my father. So I was probably racing him, but
(28:27):
he probably told me he won every time, too. So it wasn't a tight.
But it's amazing to see what that has done for your kids and how
that has helped them develop. So I love that, and kudos to you. I
love it. Thank you. Yeah. You know, the one thing about
Katie is, you know, at the end of a game, it wasn't always about how
(28:49):
she did, but how she made others around her better. You know, some of her
best games were never. She was forward. She would score a lot of goals,
but there were so many games where she had her best game and she never
scored. But. But the team was so successful. And I would say,
Katie, you made everybody around you better. And it
was so fun to watch. Yeah. So.
(29:11):
And pointing that out, I think that's where so many parents
get lost, is that I think people will
repeat what you applaud. And if that's what you're really looking
for, then if you. They'll start to look for opportunities to do that
more. You know, it's always the person who scores the most and the person that
hits the RBIs and all the other things that get to get the acknowledgement. But
(29:32):
the truth of it is, they don't get there on their own. And your
recognition of the fact that you made everybody better
makes. I mean, that's how teams win. Yes. That's the most
important thing you can do on that field. Yeah, it's true.
Because being great on your own is great for you, but
it doesn't necessarily help the team. Right. And so, you know, you
(29:54):
find sometimes in youth sports and soccer where the
parents will gauge the success based on how many goals you
score. And you know, that's tough because you could lose a game
and your parents or your mentors are mad because, well, you
didn't score the four goals. You had one, you should have had three. And
it's like, what? I'm not sure. I don't quite understand where that's
(30:16):
going because if they contributed to those goals or they contributed
to the win in any way, that's what they're there for.
And I think you learn along the way that the high level coaches are
looking for the player that can make a difference
on the field all the way around and make every. You can make people around
you better. The whole team gets better. That's right. And if your team
(30:39):
doesn't win, you don't get the awards, quite frankly. Yeah, we've seen that. We've
seen that. And Kortney, we saw that at Cleveland State. Excuse me,
I saw it at Akron. Our kids would lead the nation and things. And if
we didn't have a winning record, they would get no accolades the next year. Same
exact stats. We win. They're, you know, all American. Right. I
mean, like literally those things, the better your team is, the more you
(31:00):
get. Right. So if you really want to be great, you've got to
make your team good. Yeah, 100%.
You know, I know this is. We're talking about parenting,
but Katie was always surrounded by amazing coaches
and mentors outside of us, which is a huge help.
Yes. You know, Carrie and ISC Dravco
(31:22):
from isc, you know, they were
really good with Katie and they, they really guided her in a
way that allowed her to succeed the way she did and then, you know,
moving right on through. She has a professional coach, Matthew, that
works with her at home, who was a great mentor to her.
And then going on to college with the Penn State group and then that
(31:45):
was a short period of time and then we move on.
And now we've got honestly this incredible crew here
with Vlad Cohen, his team. She's been surrounded by
amazing people and I guess when you bring the
accolades that she has and the personality and the attitude
of succeeding the way she does and you add that training,
(32:08):
it kind of multiplies into something really great.
Can I ask a question while we're on coaches? And I'm going to assume that
Katie didn't always agree with her coaches how do you recommend
or what's your advice to parents and athletes when. When
you don't agree with your coaches? How do you manage that and
what does that do to performance? I mean, I'll just let you take it from
(32:30):
there. But that's something that, you know, a lot of people. It's all. It's the
coach's fault a lot of. So, yeah, you know, I
think. I think there's kind of a couple answers
to that, but the first one is like, they're your coach, so deal with
it. There's no mom or
dad who's going to make a phone call and tell the coach that they're wrong.
(32:52):
They're being paid to do the job. It's their responsibility. It's their
style. We're here. They're the coach.
I'm going to. We stay out of the way. Now, at the same
time, Katie's being
molded and she's learning from these coaches. And
so she's a very smart, wise individual. So if
(33:14):
she thinks that the coach is wrong, she might make a
mental note of that and say, well, I don't like the way that he's
treating some of the other players or talking to them or he or
she. So, you know, sometimes you learn a
lot from leaders that aren't the best leaders because you learn
what not to do, how not to treat people, what not to say.
(33:36):
And so, you know, Katie really, I believe,
didn't have much of that in her career, but there were. There were times,
100%, she was like, I'm confused by this. I don't know why they
did this. Why are they treating this player differently than this player?
And so, first of all, it's life. Deal with it, learn
from it, and let's move on. Let's not dwell
(33:59):
on it. It's out of our control. We always tell K, control the
controllables. Yes. That's a huge. And it's so big
in this sport. You have to control the controllables. If you
can't control it, move on. Yeah. Don't dwell. Yeah. Because
it can fester and eat away. So. And that's just in life in
general, control what you can control. Yeah. Go. What you
(34:21):
can't. Yeah. And next action. Because, you know,
I always feel like, no, if a player makes a mistake,
the game is full of mistakes. And so a lot of times they'll get down
on themselves or they'll look at their parents and they mad at me for doing
that. You just, you, you forget about it and you go. You move
On. But to answer your question, you know, I, I
(34:43):
think we've been pretty lucky. She, she, she doesn't, you know,
obviously, as head coaches, maybe that she hasn't always agreed with, but
she doesn't really dwell on those things very much.
If she did, it would, like you said, it would have held her back. We
don't have a time machine for a reason. Because if we had a time machine,
we would spend all of our time in the past trying to figure things out
and we would miss what was in front of us. Right. I think that is
(35:05):
such an important lesson for first, for anybody, all of us,
whether we're an athlete or a business leader or a mom,
you know, or a parent of any, you know, of any child at any stage,
to control what we can control. That's huge. You
guys seem very level headed in the idea of your advice,
but I want you to get the time machine. I want you to go back
(35:28):
and give yourself advice for when Katie was just starting out. What
would your advice be? Because there are parents where you were
today and what advice would you give them?
I would say
there are situations that will take place, whether
(35:51):
it be something a parent said,
your child not
starting, not making the lineup, moving down to a team
that's, you know, lower. I
would say be very careful not to go down the rabbit hole of
conspiracy theories. Like, this is not about your child.
(36:13):
There aren't a bunch of people in a room going, how do we, how do
we somehow, you know, make it harder for
Mary Johnson? You know, this is not
happening. It's a
journey. And the other thing is, you know, I said this before,
but don't take this so
(36:34):
seriously. Like they're 7, 8, 9, 10,
12 years old. Yeah, they're great. They're very good at what they do,
but they're kids. And so, you
know, I think we did a pretty good job with
that. But there were definitely times where we
would find ourselves, I think, more stressed out about situations than she
(36:56):
was. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Going back,
I think one of the biggest things, every time Katie would leave the car for
practice or for a game even for here, I wrote on
her, I thought it was dry erase, which is hilarious. I wrote on her little
refrigerator, have fun. Cause that's one thing,
(37:17):
like, work hard out there, but have fun. And so I
write have fun, but ironically it was in
Sharpie. So, mom, we can't write the list anymore.
And this big have fun with a smiley face. And I feel like that's one
of the biggest things, you know, going Back. It's like, if I could do that
with, you know, I feel like we tried as much as we could, but with
(37:38):
Nicholas, our son, and Will and Zach and Katie, have fun. Work
hard out there, be competitive. As April Heinrich said to
Katie, compete, compete, compete when you're out there. And then
say sorry later. And that's why we say to Katie, compete,
compete. Say sorry later. Have fun. Yeah. And I just feel
like that has stayed in my mind with what April said
(38:01):
as well, you know, compete, compete, compete. Say sorry later.
But the minute they're not having fun out there and they're doing it for somebody
other than themselves. Yes. That's when they get in trouble. Yeah.
And just going back, like I always say, make a difference.
You know, I used to write on all the notes, so I said,
make a difference. So much so that when she was
(38:23):
16 years old, she said, I want to get a tattoo. And of course, I'm
like, oh, my God, I can't believe you want to get a tattoo. And then
she said, you're going to get one with me. And I was like, I would
never get a tattoo. I don't like needles. I do not like something final on
my skin that I can't take off. I can't do that.
But when she was, the day before she left for Penn State,
(38:45):
she arranged an appointment with a tattoo artist and took me there, and
we got a tattoo, and she got make a difference
on her arm. That's awesome. And your handwriting.
Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. And I got it on my ankle, but not in
my handwriting, but I got it on my ankle. And I think that that kind
(39:06):
of thing. I've been saying that to her every day
when she left for school, when she was, you
know, kindergarten. Make a difference today. And then I used to
tell her, come back to home today and tell me what you did to make
a difference. Oh, I held the door open for someone I helped, someone I sat
with. Someone who was alone. Katie didn't care
(39:26):
about popularity. She always sat with. She always took care of the kids
that, you know, weren't being noticed. She always cared. The kids that were on their
own. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But no,
my only point was going to be that kind of translated to
soccer, and not necessarily intentionally. In the beginning, it was just, make a
difference today. But in the soccer world,
(39:49):
you know, there's kids on a team that are down.
There's kids that aren't playing as much. There's kids that aren't. Aren't
succeeding. And so she would talk to
Them. And so she was making a difference, not only
on the field and making people around her better, but she has this
knack for making people around her smile
(40:10):
and see the other side of things and don't dwell on it so
much. So this make a difference thing, I think is really important.
And I get back to life's bigger than soccer. I
think when you're really young and you're competing, you didn't win. There's pressure
on the parents to post something about their child. There's pressure on the
kids. Honestly, all of that we
(40:33):
never really got involved in. We kind of stayed away from social media, and I
think it was just like, listen, are we having fun? Are we getting
better? Are we. Are we making a difference? Great. Let's go get
something to eat. Yeah. Are you being kind? Are you being a good human?
I feel like that was the character of our kids. I think it's, you
know, we're very lucky and fortunate, you know, in our situation.
(40:55):
And I feel like. I think that's one of the biggest things is just being
a good human, because soccer is going to come and go basketball
for Zach and Will come and go, right? So, you know, are
they being a kind human being? Are they being respectful to
other individuals that are different than they? I'll tell you one thing
that never happened. Never happened. We never sat down any
(41:17):
of our kids, you know, including Katie, and said, you better get out of there
right now in our front yard, and you better work harder and you better sprint
and you better set up cones and you better go shoot, because you were
terrible last game. I don't know what you're doing. Not even close
to that. It was never that. It was so. I mean, I think there was
never any pressure on her, so she didn't have to deal with that. And so
(41:40):
organically, she just loved the game, worked hard,
wanted to be better every day and grow. And we were there to support her.
And I think that's the most important thing. Instead of driving it,
support it. And, you
know, that. That, I think, has been our kind of motto. I think.
(42:01):
One of the best ways to relieve pressure is to help others. That's a proven
research way. In sport or in life in general,
if you want to relieve your own pressure, get outward. Right. Get out of your
own head and into somebody else. That is such great advice. And I love.
Make a difference. That's huge, right? Our saying when we go out the door in
the morning is be strong and courageous. Right? But I think I, like Mike,
(42:23):
make a difference better I'm well and I. Can'T stand my own handwriting. And
now my daughter has it tattooed on her arm every day. But it's
really kind of cool and makes me proud. So, yeah,
I love it. I think it's amazing. Yeah. Julie, you've done a great job
with her, too. You've been a big help along the way. Well, it was, it's
easy with, it's easy with Katie. She's a she. I knew, I told Karen,
(42:45):
I knew from the very beginning because I saw her, like, looking at me so
intently the very first day that I was there. I thought, this kid thinks
differently. And she was just, you know how she looks when she's intense. Oh,
yeah. She's just looking at me. And I was like. And then she didn't smile,
she didn't give any really feedback. And then one day she says, you know
what? Can we talk individually? And I'm like,
(43:08):
yeah, yeah, heck yeah,
we can. That's right. That's right. I love it. Julie,
do you have any other questions? I know we're getting to our time. The only
other thing I want, I just want one piece of advice at the end, but
do you have any other questions before we start to fade
out? You know, I think this has just been such a,
(43:29):
an eye opening discussion and, you know, and people might say, you know, it's easy
for you. Your kids have been in the elite and you didn't, you know, you
didn't have to press, but maybe they wouldn't be elite if you did press
them every night, right? If you did put that pressure on them every night. You
let them grow, like you said, organically. You help them, you
take them right to the water and then they drink when
(43:50):
they're thirsty, you know, and you and I, I'm certain that your
experience as athletes has been more of an influence than you
think, because you've, it's, you know, you didn't want to come home
every day and have someone pick everything that you did apart. You don't want to
come home from work every day and have someone pick every single thing that you
did apart. And the joy. I, I heard a
(44:11):
podcast, a sports psychologist named Jonah Oliver said in a
podcast I was listening to yesterday, says, it's not about how hard things are,
it's about how important they are. And if we lose track of their
importance, we start to focus on the threat and the pain of them.
But when things are important to us, we are willing to go that
extra mile. We are willing to withstand whatever comes. Because when you
(44:33):
are playing professional soccer. There's a ticket. Here you
go. But on the back of that ticket, there are terms and
agreements, and those things are pressure and uncertainty and all these
things that go with it. But would you give the ticket up because
of that? Not if you really love it. Right,
Right. It's part of the deal. And I think you even said you sort of
(44:54):
normalizing the mistakes, that they just happen. It's part of
it. And being able to bounce back from them is what allows you to
reach, when you're 17 years old, a professional level.
So we appreciate all of this. This has been, it's helpful to
me because I get caught up in the race to the top two sometimes. And
I know better. I know better. But still, like, there's
(45:15):
this cultural pressure that you're. I don't post. When Jensen, by the way, we
did win the science fair. We. I had to
say we because we're never doing it again.
Just to make one comment about what you just said. Katie saw that in her
older brother when he was leaving home and working
hard and held soccer to a level of
(45:39):
importance that she saw that, and
so she emulated that also. So this
is a journey. It's just up and down, up and down.
You learn from it. All those ups and downs. For sure.
Absolutely. I, I. The last question I want to end
on is you gave advice to parents the
(46:02):
next episodes with Katie. So there are athletes going to be listening to
it. What's your advice to athletes when maybe
relating to their parents or their coaches or their future? What is
your advice to them? Because they're listening to
that one might be harder than the advice to the parents.
You know, I think
(46:25):
the kids have to, I mean,
I'll probably really repeat some of the advice that I give to the other
parents, but really it's to the,
to a child out there.
You know, Karen said she wrote the word have fun. If you're not in,
if you're not enjoying what you're doing,
(46:48):
it makes it very difficult to succeed. The happiest
people are the ones that they don't work, you know,
for sure. You know, they have fun and they make a difference in
people's lives. They make a difference in their own life, and
they succeed. So the thing is, like, I would
advise, you know, these athletes to
(47:10):
not take things so seriously. Like I always
say, you know,
you get out of it what you put into it. If you want
to make the national team, if you want to play Division 1 soccer, if you
want to play in college, it's going to take work
(47:30):
lots. If you're not having fun doing that work, then you don't
want to be a Division 1 athlete. You don't want. It's not worth
it. It's so much effort. So if you have fun at
it and you understand that what you put into it, you'll get out of
it, you can
succeed. You can. You can play at a very high level
(47:52):
and you can have a lot of fun and a great career, but it takes
a lot of work, and you got it. If you don't have fun doing it,
then I would suggest you do something you have fun
with. And if you don't want to play at that level, it's okay, too,
right? It's fine. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of
people that, you know, Katie has played with over the years who were
(48:13):
very talented, very great. They didn't love it, so they did something else. They played
a different sport. And you know what? Kudos to them.
You know, that, that, that it's more important to be happy.
Life is bigger than soccer. You know,
you get out of it what you put into it, but you. You want
to have fun while you're doing it. And last thing, Corny. I
(48:37):
do want to highlight the fact that Katie did play basketball as well. I did
see that. Yeah. Yeah. So that whole
multi sport, you know, like, you can be on the. You can be a professional
soccer player. Abby Wambach did the same thing. Right. You could be a professional
soccer player and still play high school basketball. It's. It is possible, people. I know
it doesn't seem like it, but it is, and we've got proof right here.
(48:58):
True, it was difficult, but she did and she had fun with it,
and the coaches were great understanding her situation. But at the end of the
day, at the end of the day, she loved soccer so much that she had.
You have to sacrifice, too. Yes. You had to sacrifice playing basketball
to follow her dream. And. Well, I was telling Julia,
I said she did. She had to sacrifice because national team camp was coming up
(49:20):
and she didn't want to get hurt and whatnot. So you know what Katie said?
Okay, I'll be the basketball manager. I love this team so much and I
love this coach so much. I can't be there for a lot of the practices.
I get it. But if I'm available to when the games are, I'll
be manager. I'll be their biggest cheerleader. So, I mean, she got best of both
worlds then. So amazing. That is
(49:41):
amazing. Guys. I am so excited that Julie brought you on.
I'm this conversation was amazing and there is so much more to
explore explore with the Scott family. We are going to have Katie on next week
and we're going to talk to herself about her journey,
what it takes from her perspective and all the balancing, the
challenges, the successes and all the wonders. So thank you guys so
(50:04):
much for joining us today. Thank you for having us.
Thank you. So appreciative.
Thanks so much for joining us on Game Changers Athlete edition.
Remember, champions aren't born. They're built through
dedication, perseverance and the right mindset. If
you found value in today's episode, share it with a teammate, with a coach
(50:26):
or someone who could benefit from this conversation. Don't forget
to subscribe wherever you get your podcast and follow us on social media for
exclusive content and daily motivation. Until next time,
keep pushing your limits and stay focused on becoming the game
changer you are meant to be.
If you present the fact that, look, this is a big deal for
you, but in life it's a small
deal. This is a journey. And so you almost have to
explain, look, you're going to be playing this game for a
long time. You love this game. You want to play in college. You
would love to be a professional. You want to make the national team. This
(00:23):
is a journey, not a sprint. And so if you don't make this
today, you make it next time. You work harder, you find out what you can
do. But I think.
Welcome to Game Changers Athlete Edition. I'm Kortney Harmon,
a former Division 1 softball pitcher turned high performance business
coach who knows what it takes to translate athletic mindset
(00:47):
into real world success. And I'm Julie Jones, a Hall of Famer and
former Division 1 head coach with more than 20 years of experience turned mental
performance coach. Together, we bridge the gap between elite
athletics and lifelong achievement, helping you unlock your full
potential on and off the field. This podcast is your go
to source for inspiration, motivation, amazing
(01:09):
guests and actionable insights to help you elevate your
game. All right, welcome back to another
episode of Game Changers Athlete Edition. And today we have
an incredible family joining us who knows what it takes to develop
an elite athletic talent. We're sitting
down with the family of Katie Scott, who is a 17 year
(01:31):
old professional soccer player who recently signed with Kansas City Current
of the NWSL after an impressive season with Penn
State. This is where we're actually joining Katie's
parents, Karen and Nick Scott, both former Penn State
athletes themselves. That's right. And this is truly a
special episode. Right. And we're so happy to have you. Welcome,
(01:53):
Nick and Karen. The great part about this is we're going to be
able to get this experience from both
sides. We'll have Katie on in her own separate episode, but today
we're going to talk about family dynamics and motivation and how
all the things came together to help Katie reach her goals.
Because we know parents have a play a huge role in that and who better
(02:16):
to talk to than someone who has guided an
amazing young woman to the heights, to the
highest level of women's soccer in our country. Also,
Katie was a member of or is a member of the US National Team. So
we've done everything or they have crossed every bridge. So we're going
to pull some great information for students,
(02:38):
athletes and parents through today's episode. So Kortney, I'll kick
it back to you and we can get this information session
rolling. I love this. And obviously we had to
do a Little stalking prior to Julie, got to tell me some information. But
as I learned, you were both former college athletes themselves. Karen, you
were a gymnast. Scott, you were a soccer player, both at Penn State. And
(03:01):
it's truly amazing you've created an environment where athletic
excellence has flourished. So with Kaney
now signing professionally and your sons are also playing
competitively, I know many parents listening are excited to
learn about your approach to raising these athletes and how you did
it. Julie, you want to kick us off with a question?
(03:23):
I'm going to let Nick take it from there. No, I was just going to
say thank you for bringing us on.
I honestly, there's no blueprint for this. It's just a function
of, you know, you have four kids and you,
one after the other, kind of close together and you just
kind of run with it. And we obviously are a product of our experience. We
(03:44):
were both athletes at a pretty good, a pretty high level.
So you kind of take your experiences and you don't get directions with
kids. You just start raising them. And so, you know, I don't know that
we had directions or a blueprint for this, but,
you know, we're very proud of all of them, and they're all very different. Every
one of them is very different. But, you know, we're happy to talk about it
(04:06):
and give any insight we can. We don't consider
ourselves professionals at this or experts.
We just happy to be on the show.
Karen, when you and I talked on the phone last week,
we were talking about parental support, and one of the things you
mentioned was somebody from Katie's team came up to you and
(04:30):
said, how do you remain so positive through the
experience? And I thought your response was excellent.
And there's so much pressure, right? You watch. You're watching
your kid at this really high level, and obviously
you're. You're, like, focused in on them and you're watching every move and you
notice every little mistake and every great play. How. How
(04:52):
do you maintain your composure? And how
does that affect both of you? How does that affect your
kids? And what do you see with other parents in
the benefits of having a certain mindset compared to others?
Well, the level that they are at now with Katie and our son Nicholas, who's
playing in Germany, I mean, they're their worst critic. They know what they
(05:15):
did wrong on the field. So our job is to be that support.
When they come off the field and give them the big hug, give them the
smile and tell me you love them and great job out there. They know what
they did. Wrong. They know what they can improve on. And I feel like that's
kind of what we've done from day one, you
know, trying to just. They're doing the work
(05:36):
from day one. Right. They're getting up early in the morning, they're doing the
practices, etc. So when. When they're trying out, competing and on
that field, I just feel like it is.
It's hard to see other parents be so critical because
they're the worst critics. Yeah. And
I think there's a point in time. I played soccer, and
(05:59):
Karen was a competitive athlete, being a gymnast. And
so along the way, it's natural to
coach your children when they're really young and you're in your family
room and they're five years old, four years old, and you're. You're
playing, you know, passing the ball back and forth. You're giving them advice. You know,
when you collect the ball, here's how you do it. Here's how you strike the
(06:20):
ball and you have fun with it. It's like a game. At some point in
time during that process, as they get older, you transition away from being
a coach. I don't have any licenses. I'm not a coach. They're
surrounded by such great support in the coaching
world that when they come off the field and maybe didn't have their
best game or their team didn't win, they don't need to be told
(06:42):
that. They know that. Yeah, they come off the field, they don't. You don't need
to say, hey, you could have done this better. You could have done this. Why
don't you collect the ball better? Why don't you look for the outside winger when
you had the ball in the middle on that one play?
There's no place for that. Because first of all, they know that. You
don't have to remind them of that. What you need to do is say, hey,
you know what? It was a great game. I thought your team did great. You
(07:06):
made people around you better. You know what's next, and you know,
life's bigger than soccer. And so if you keep that in mind all the time,
I think they don't have that pressure. They come off the field and there's somebody
immediately saying to them, well, why don't you do this? Why don't
you work harder? Why don't you score more? I think it
immediately takes. They're already kind of in an
(07:28):
upset mood, just even worse. And
the one thing about this sport and any sport, you have
to create an environment that's Challenging,
but fun. And if it's not fun, they're not playing for
them, they're playing for you. Whether it doesn't just have to be a
parent. It could be an uncle, it could be a
(07:51):
brother, it could be a coach.
You know, there's a lot of good parenting out there, though. A lot of these
kids are getting to this level because of the fact
that their parents have been so good with them. So,
you know, we. We just kind of trudge along
and, you know, if it's not the best game or the best
(08:13):
situation, you know, move on. What's next? We stay next to
action. What's. What's coming next. That's what we'll worry about, that we'll remember what we
did in the past so we can learn from it. But let's move on.
Right. I think that next action is that. What a great statement.
Right. And I'm sure you use that in business. I mean, this is all the
same. And if you are ultra critical of the people that work for
(08:35):
you. That's right. They're going to second guess everything they do well.
And the reality is in this game, it's a game of a thousand mistakes. You
will make so many mistakes and have so many failures. And
the reality is you will not play. You will get benched, you
will lose a game, you will have a bad training, you will get
hurt and have to deal with injury. All those things build
(08:57):
you into a character that allows you to succeed.
And with Katie, for example, it just happens right in front
of you. Like, you see it happening. You see
her fail and get upset, and you're there to support her.
And then the reality is
she's the very next day, the very next week, their
(09:19):
successes and their successes because of those
failures. And so, you know,
it's not something you can just pick up a book and say, okay, how do
I raise a child to be a professional athlete? Or how do I raise a
child to be a competitive athlete? It just kind of happens.
And I think you just have to create a support system around them to let
(09:40):
them thrive. Yeah. And you lay the foundation when they're young.
Commitment, dedication. I think, you know,
support even the brothers. You know, Katie has three older brothers,
and whether they are playing high school basketball and not at the
college level, and Katie was supporting her brother Zap or
supporting her brother Will, and they're at Penn State right now, and
(10:02):
they are fraternity brothers and having the best time of
their lives. And it's funny because, you know,
she supports them and everything they do and they support her and everything that she
does. And I think that's. There's no jealousy. There's no.
It's just a really. It's a. We're very lucky and very fortunate with
that. I noticed on her Instagram,
(10:26):
because I follow on Instagram she has pictures of, she has videos of her brothers
playing basketball. You know, like she's there, you know, like, it's,
it's no different than the videos of her playing for the national team.
It's. They are this. That's just how we roll. Yes,
absolutely. You obviously have
helped her navigate very new waters,
(10:47):
obviously. And there's constant pressure, I'm sure.
So as you helped Katie through this, how do you, how do
you help manage the pressure of such a high level of competition
from such an early age? What advice do you have?
Honestly, don't take it so seriously. I'm just
telling you, like, these kids are 12, 13,
(11:10):
14, 11 years old and they're waiting for an
email to find out if they made a roster. The pressure of that on
a child that young is so challenging
that I think if you present
the fact that, look, this is a big deal for you, but in
life, it's a small deal.
(11:32):
This is a journey. And so you almost have to explain,
look, you're going to be playing this game for a long time.
You love this game. You want to play in college. You would love to be
a professional. You want to make the national team. This is
a journey, not a sprint. And so if you don't make this today,
you make it next time. You work harder, you find out what you can do.
(11:55):
But I think if there's pressure to make it and there's
disappointment surrounding them when they don't,
that's challenging. They already have enough challenge to see some of the,
these, these girls and these young athletes go through the pressure that
they have to go through on their own. Yeah. There's no reason to give them
added pressure. Well, just being a female athlete, a
(12:15):
teenage athlete, you know, there's so much pressure just with the social media
aspect, I think. I mean, I think our boys didn't have as much
pressure. You know, I think girls do. So I think even
with Katie, I mean, I think we talk about trusting the process.
Be patient. I think that's a huge thing with Katie, especially right
(12:36):
now, patience. She's 17 years old and patience, I
mean, she's in an incredible environment with, you know, top
notch coaching. Her teammates are phenomenal.
Couldn't ask you on a better team, to be honest. In the environment. But
she's 17, you know, I mean, her mentors are World cup players who
are 27. We couldn't ask for anything more. But she has to be patient. You
(12:58):
know, it's not, she's not going to roll in and, you know, X, Y and
Z. It's just, I think that's hard. That's hard, but it's. Concentrate,
Katie, trust the process, be patient. And Katie has
a lot of faith and she trusts a lot. And what did she say? Like,
worry about nothing but trust, you know, with God. And I think she, she
has that really. She has a really great faith based. She's really,
(13:21):
you know, I feel like that's one of her strengths and she has
that. So that's amazing. It's interesting. It's interesting you say that because I know
as a coach, I always felt like a lot of the kids who had
a face. Faith based, whatever their faith was, because
we had kids that were faith, you know, in my. At all. At my different
institutions and. But when you have this sort of
(13:43):
faith base and you realize that you're part of a bigger picture just in general
and you believe in things you can't see, which is
what faith is. Yes. That somehow it,
that those kids are often easier to bring
back to say this is a small part.
Right. This is one thing. This is, you know, what happens today does not determine
(14:05):
what happens tomorrow necessarily. You can influence it, but it's not a. It's not a
directive. So I think that's an interesting thing that you say there. And I see
that in Katie's just her and she. There's something
special about her as well. I wish that everyone on everyone will get to get
to know her. But she's very steady. She's very steady.
There's no doubt about that. Well, I think you always say
(14:28):
the highs aren't as high as you think they are and the lows aren't as
low as I think they are. So you've done a great job with that with
Katie and our kids. You're crying. Don't cry.
That's great. That's wonderful. I feel like you. Because I
get really excited and I get, you know that you have always. Tried to
maintain stability. Yeah. I always say Katie has a lot
(14:49):
of that. You need to look at the situation from 40,000ft.
You know, don't look at now, don't look at the moment so
much. I mean, if you're at a tournament and you're not at the starting
lineup or you're at a tournament and you lose a game and the ref
was bad and you blame, everyone's blaming on the ref. You know,
if you look at it from above, you look at it like, oh, that was
(15:10):
one of my games. In this long journey I'm on, don't dwell on
it so much, Move on. You know, a lot of people aren't going to
remember this. You know, it's a growing, you
grow from it. Of course you're going to have games where that happens and
that's when you grow.
Adversity is big. There's times when
(15:32):
I said to Karen, this is good that this happened today. This is good
that she's upset because it shows how much she cares.
Katie always drove this journey,
always. So if we were getting in the car to drive an hour
and a half to training of two hours one way,
106 miles, if she ever said, I don't want to get
(15:56):
in the car, she said, okay, don't get in the car. We'll
just tell the coach that you're not going today. Yeah, but
you know, there would be, you know, pressure on that, well, will
I play? You know, I'm not really not allowed to skip practice.
Katie, you're driving 200
miles to train four days a week,
(16:19):
going to games even further away on the weekends.
You're 13 years old, you're 12 years old, you don't have to
do this. And it was always driven by Katie,
always driven by Katie. She was the one that said, let's go, dad, we gotta
go, we gotta go. She would wake me up the night
before we go to bed, dad, tomorrow morning before I go to
(16:40):
school, can we train?
You know, yes, we can trade. Because I always
thought to myself, if I have a child that is asking me to train at
6am before school
and I say no, I put her in a position
to want to grow and be better so much
(17:02):
that she's willing to get up at 6am before training, before school,
before she goes to training in the afternoon, just to work on her left foot,
you know, just to work on shooting, just to work on crossing, work on her
ball technique. Yeah, we're going, I'll be there. Yeah. Every day we got
up. Yeah, absolutely. You, you let her drive in
and, and I hope that people hear that if she didn't want to go to
(17:22):
practice, she didn't go. And that doesn't mean, you know, there are times like my
son, when he was a little bit younger, didn't want to go to swimming all
the time. Like nobody, we committed, we didn't go every, every day, you
know. Right. But when they're that deep in
and you know you're allowing her to drive it. I was listening to something yesterday
and it said we have to let them build the fire on their own. We
(17:43):
can help them bring the wood, but they keep the fire going. If
you keep pouring gas on as the demander, when
that gas is taken away, the fire goes out because
there's no ownership over that motivation. And what you're saying is
Katie was the motivator, 100%. And when you
say like you made a commitment, don't quit. This is not about
(18:05):
quitting. This is about a 13 year old driving
12 hours a week to train. Yes, that's a lot
on somebody. Yes, a lot. Mentally, physically. We
only had to do it half the time or me a third of the
time. She drove more than I did. So we're not
doing it as often as she is. Even though we're going a lot.
(18:29):
You know, she drove that. And so when she's driving it,
it's rewarding to her. Yes. And
she gets to deal with
the fact that she wanted it and then she gets to
enjoy the fruits of that labor. It's even better for her.
She enjoyed the successes a lot
(18:52):
and you know, she learned from the failures and
we were just kind of there to help her along and give her.
Support and those failures. Go ahead, Kortney. I
want to ask the question what every parent is listening to this thinking. You just
said 200 miles in one day. You have three other kids.
How the heck did you make that happen? Like that's what's going through my,
(19:15):
my brain. And you have other, other kids doing other things. Right. I want to
know how you as parents made those things happen.
Yeah, we have, we have. They don't know. We have four kids. Yeah, we
have four. And yeah. Yeah, go ahead.
Well, our oldest and I think he was a true inspiration for
Katie at, in ninth grade. Our oldest.
(19:39):
Well, first he drove 200 miles from
training every day, three or four days a
week for from when the time he was
11 or 12 to the same place. We were already
going to Cleveland with him. He made the decision in ninth
grade. Excuse me.
(20:04):
Okay, that's good. This is, this is amazing
stuff. Yeah. Can we make him his family? Yep,
he did. Yeah. And he moved to
Columbus. He tried out for the Columbus Crew Academy and
he lived with a build family, a family he never met
before. And you know, we were shocked.
(20:26):
He wasn't even 16 yet. And he just said, mom and dad,
he was a Straight A student, taking all honors classes, ap. I
can't do both. I feel like it's really important with my
education, but I also want to, you know, get the highest level of soccer. And
the crew he had tried out. He made the team. We found a family, an
absolute, incredible gift in our. In our lives. This family
(20:48):
that he's never met before. And so I think she saw
Nicholas's sacrifice. So then that was. I think they were like six
years apart. Maybe five and a half. Yeah. Yeah, we have four within, like,
six years. And. And so I think
she saw that sacrifice. But getting back to your question, Nicholas
had left, so we had the three. Will and
(21:11):
Zach, and then Katie. And I think we just. It does take a village with
our own hometown. So if you just have to plan. Okay, if I'm
driving to Akron tonight, then, you know, Will got, you know,
lacrosse practice. I would hook up with a parent and say, okay, you take Will,
and then vice versa. We switch the days. But it was. It was constant. You
know, you were working long hours. But he was able to help.
(21:32):
Yeah. Really. Honestly, the
other kids supported Katie 100%.
So they all support each other. So when they all support each
other, there's really nobody missing out. I mean, there's nobody saying, well, why
does Katie get to do this? Or, why are you taking Katie all the time?
They wanted to know what the score of the game was and how she. Did
(21:55):
they win. How did Katie do? They were
never worried about themselves. Yeah. And I think
in regards to it, the
importance of when five was gone. With Katie taking her to Akron, Nick
was making sure the boys, I mean, at practice had
demo, you know, doing their homework. So we still had, you know, a nice schedule.
(22:17):
I mean, I guess you could say we were really scheduled as well. Yes. But
they had fun. They were playing other video games as well. It's not like that.
But, I mean, I think the. You know, we had a good structure.
I'll be honest with you. I don't. When you say the word sacrifice, I don't
think they sacrificed anything for Katie's success. We made it work.
Yeah. You know, we are
(22:38):
fortunate enough to be able to have friends around us to help us. We
never missed a basketball game for our son. That's amazing. You
know, if we had to choose, you know, the high school game
was just as important as the national team. Oh, yeah, we would pay. I mean,
we would pay people we would not miss. We would. We would pay a driver
a couple times to take Katie to train or to take her. So we would
(22:59):
go to the basketball game for ourselves. We. We never really missed anything. So
I don't feel like if you ask them, I don't think they would say, yeah,
my parents were never around and weren't really with us because they were with Katie.
I would never let that happen. I mean, neither of us would. We didn't. So,
yeah, she'll always remember that, too. Because I can tell you, my parents
never missed a game and anything through my mom's cancer treatments, all the things that
(23:21):
she was doing. So I understand the value of this and
I look at it, sacrifice what you guys have made for your kids, too, because
it's truly. You said it takes a village. And. And Karen, I am
sure your planner was down to a team. I know.
Let alone what yours was with for. Well, she had her second game
with the pro team last week, and it was in. It was in
(23:44):
D.C. and we were excited to be able to go, but our sons had
parents weekend at their fraternity, and our one son's a
senior in college, and I was like, katie, guess what? We'll watch it on
tv. Love you. She's like, you better not come to my game. Yeah,
we had the best time at du. Yeah, I bet you did.
I bet you did. Yeah, you're Penn
(24:07):
State. You know you've got a legacy there, right? I will tell you this, and
I think, you know, as you grow older, my dad tells me often, my sister's
about six years younger than me, and he says the greatest gift is
that we are. That we respect each other and love each other, and that's. That's
their doing. That's my parents doing. It was never a comparison. And
I think that's what you're saying right here, is that you're not comparing your kids
(24:29):
with each other. You're teaching them to grow together and
appreciate each other. And when you said they
support each other, I thought, oh, my gosh, no wonder they're so good on
teams, because learn how to be on a team in their own
home. Yeah. Because you have a team is give and take, and a team
is. Is being there for other people and sharing other people's joys and other people's
(24:50):
burdens, and that's what they have lived. So no wonder they cry.
When the kids were young, they used to. We used to. It was always a
competition, always something going on. I probably didn't help that because I was
always like, let's play. You hate to lose. Well, it's not. It's
not even a pit bump. It's not even the truth comes out.
It's not even a function of like hating to lose. You're just competitive, you know,
(25:12):
you, you, you want to win. But
Katie was left kind of as the youngest,
smallest, you know, kind of mightiest one
that was like, I don't, I want to. Don't. She would. There were
times when her oldest brother, who's, you know, five
years, six years older maybe went up, let it up, let up a little bit,
(25:34):
you know, because, you know, he had been beating her. She would get pissed,
you know, don't try harder. This is ridiculous.
And you know, when they lose and they are, there's a fight that breaks out
in the house because they're young and, you know, they're a five year old
versus a nine year old and a nine year old wins and the five year
old gets mad and they start, you know, fighting or they didn't make up,
(25:56):
you know, that's okay. That's life. You know, the one's
got to deal with losing and the other one's got to be a good winner.
And that's what you do. Now there's fireworks going on.
You guys are lighting it up. I don't know what's going on around here, but
I think those things are part of growing up.
(26:17):
And as parents, it's hard to understand what
to do in those situations, but sometimes you just have to let it happen
organically. You're like, yeah, you are pissed you lost.
Yeah. We take those opportunities away from
kids so often anymore. Right. You used to fight in your backyard with your neighbors
if, you know, if someone, you know, used to have to call your own fouls,
(26:39):
and now they don't have to call their own files because they're always being guided
by an adult. But in your own home, like, I remember my cousin
saying, my cousin's husband saying, you know, my boys just fight. I'm like, that's what
brothers do. Yeah, right. And if we, if we don't let them learn how
to do that, they don't know. Learn how to manage conflict.
Yeah. There was a time once where two of my boys were racing to the
(27:00):
car and I was with Kevin's father, who's an
amazing guy and he was a coach all his life.
And they're racing next to each other to the car, and they get there, and
my oldest son, I believe, beat the younger son, touched the car first.
And I said, they were yelling at each other. I won. I won. No, I
didn't. I said, guys, it was a tie. Just get in the Car. Let's go.
(27:20):
And her dad says, it wasn't a tie. He
won. And I was like.
He's like, they didn't tie. He won,
and you lost. And it taught me a lesson because I
was like, wow, you know, that's. That's life, you know,
and you're gonna lose, and you're gonna win, and the wins
(27:43):
aren't always gonna be as high as you think they are, and the losses won't
be as low. And you learn from both. And, you
know, it's. It's a just. It's just, you know, a journey
that is. Is sometimes hard to navigate.
But the winning and losing is. Is an important
thing to learn when you're young. Yes. Before we got on this
(28:05):
call, I told Julie right before I got. I found the stat, Julie. It
said, athletes with siblings in sports are 35 more likely to
reach elite levels as sibling rivalry and support often
fosters the most competitiveness and resilience. I was
not lucky to have siblings. I was an only child, so I had to beat
my father. So I was probably racing him, but
(28:27):
he probably told me he won every time, too. So it wasn't a tight.
But it's amazing to see what that has done for your kids and how
that has helped them develop. So I love that, and kudos to you. I
love it. Thank you. Yeah. You know, the one thing about
Katie is, you know, at the end of a game, it wasn't always about how
(28:49):
she did, but how she made others around her better. You know, some of her
best games were never. She was forward. She would score a lot of goals,
but there were so many games where she had her best game and she never
scored. But. But the team was so successful. And I would say,
Katie, you made everybody around you better. And it
was so fun to watch. Yeah. So.
(29:11):
And pointing that out, I think that's where so many parents
get lost, is that I think people will
repeat what you applaud. And if that's what you're really looking
for, then if you. They'll start to look for opportunities to do that
more. You know, it's always the person who scores the most and the person that
hits the RBIs and all the other things that get to get the acknowledgement. But
(29:32):
the truth of it is, they don't get there on their own. And your
recognition of the fact that you made everybody better
makes. I mean, that's how teams win. Yes. That's the most
important thing you can do on that field. Yeah, it's true.
Because being great on your own is great for you, but
it doesn't necessarily help the team. Right. And so, you know, you
(29:54):
find sometimes in youth sports and soccer where the
parents will gauge the success based on how many goals you
score. And you know, that's tough because you could lose a game
and your parents or your mentors are mad because, well, you
didn't score the four goals. You had one, you should have had three. And
it's like, what? I'm not sure. I don't quite understand where that's
(30:16):
going because if they contributed to those goals or they contributed
to the win in any way, that's what they're there for.
And I think you learn along the way that the high level coaches are
looking for the player that can make a difference
on the field all the way around and make every. You can make people around
you better. The whole team gets better. That's right. And if your team
(30:39):
doesn't win, you don't get the awards, quite frankly. Yeah, we've seen that. We've
seen that. And Kortney, we saw that at Cleveland State. Excuse me,
I saw it at Akron. Our kids would lead the nation and things. And if
we didn't have a winning record, they would get no accolades the next year. Same
exact stats. We win. They're, you know, all American. Right. I
mean, like literally those things, the better your team is, the more you
(31:00):
get. Right. So if you really want to be great, you've got to
make your team good. Yeah, 100%.
You know, I know this is. We're talking about parenting,
but Katie was always surrounded by amazing coaches
and mentors outside of us, which is a huge help.
Yes. You know, Carrie and ISC Dravco
(31:22):
from isc, you know, they were
really good with Katie and they, they really guided her in a
way that allowed her to succeed the way she did and then, you know,
moving right on through. She has a professional coach, Matthew, that
works with her at home, who was a great mentor to her.
And then going on to college with the Penn State group and then that
(31:45):
was a short period of time and then we move on.
And now we've got honestly this incredible crew here
with Vlad Cohen, his team. She's been surrounded by
amazing people and I guess when you bring the
accolades that she has and the personality and the attitude
of succeeding the way she does and you add that training,
(32:08):
it kind of multiplies into something really great.
Can I ask a question while we're on coaches? And I'm going to assume that
Katie didn't always agree with her coaches how do you recommend
or what's your advice to parents and athletes when. When
you don't agree with your coaches? How do you manage that and
what does that do to performance? I mean, I'll just let you take it from
(32:30):
there. But that's something that, you know, a lot of people. It's all. It's the
coach's fault a lot of. So, yeah, you know, I
think. I think there's kind of a couple answers
to that, but the first one is like, they're your coach, so deal with
it. There's no mom or
dad who's going to make a phone call and tell the coach that they're wrong.
(32:52):
They're being paid to do the job. It's their responsibility. It's their
style. We're here. They're the coach.
I'm going to. We stay out of the way. Now, at the same
time, Katie's being
molded and she's learning from these coaches. And
so she's a very smart, wise individual. So if
(33:14):
she thinks that the coach is wrong, she might make a
mental note of that and say, well, I don't like the way that he's
treating some of the other players or talking to them or he or
she. So, you know, sometimes you learn a
lot from leaders that aren't the best leaders because you learn
what not to do, how not to treat people, what not to say.
(33:36):
And so, you know, Katie really, I believe,
didn't have much of that in her career, but there were. There were times,
100%, she was like, I'm confused by this. I don't know why they
did this. Why are they treating this player differently than this player?
And so, first of all, it's life. Deal with it, learn
from it, and let's move on. Let's not dwell
(33:59):
on it. It's out of our control. We always tell K, control the
controllables. Yes. That's a huge. And it's so big
in this sport. You have to control the controllables. If you
can't control it, move on. Yeah. Don't dwell. Yeah. Because
it can fester and eat away. So. And that's just in life in
general, control what you can control. Yeah. Go. What you
(34:21):
can't. Yeah. And next action. Because, you know,
I always feel like, no, if a player makes a mistake,
the game is full of mistakes. And so a lot of times they'll get down
on themselves or they'll look at their parents and they mad at me for doing
that. You just, you, you forget about it and you go. You move
On. But to answer your question, you know, I, I
(34:43):
think we've been pretty lucky. She, she, she doesn't, you know,
obviously, as head coaches, maybe that she hasn't always agreed with, but
she doesn't really dwell on those things very much.
If she did, it would, like you said, it would have held her back. We
don't have a time machine for a reason. Because if we had a time machine,
we would spend all of our time in the past trying to figure things out
and we would miss what was in front of us. Right. I think that is
(35:05):
such an important lesson for first, for anybody, all of us,
whether we're an athlete or a business leader or a mom,
you know, or a parent of any, you know, of any child at any stage,
to control what we can control. That's huge. You
guys seem very level headed in the idea of your advice,
but I want you to get the time machine. I want you to go back
(35:28):
and give yourself advice for when Katie was just starting out. What
would your advice be? Because there are parents where you were
today and what advice would you give them?
I would say
there are situations that will take place, whether
(35:51):
it be something a parent said,
your child not
starting, not making the lineup, moving down to a team
that's, you know, lower. I
would say be very careful not to go down the rabbit hole of
conspiracy theories. Like, this is not about your child.
(36:13):
There aren't a bunch of people in a room going, how do we, how do
we somehow, you know, make it harder for
Mary Johnson? You know, this is not
happening. It's a
journey. And the other thing is, you know, I said this before,
but don't take this so
(36:34):
seriously. Like they're 7, 8, 9, 10,
12 years old. Yeah, they're great. They're very good at what they do,
but they're kids. And so, you
know, I think we did a pretty good job with
that. But there were definitely times where we
would find ourselves, I think, more stressed out about situations than she
(36:56):
was. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Going back,
I think one of the biggest things, every time Katie would leave the car for
practice or for a game even for here, I wrote on
her, I thought it was dry erase, which is hilarious. I wrote on her little
refrigerator, have fun. Cause that's one thing,
(37:17):
like, work hard out there, but have fun. And so I
write have fun, but ironically it was in
Sharpie. So, mom, we can't write the list anymore.
And this big have fun with a smiley face. And I feel like that's one
of the biggest things, you know, going Back. It's like, if I could do that
with, you know, I feel like we tried as much as we could, but with
(37:38):
Nicholas, our son, and Will and Zach and Katie, have fun. Work
hard out there, be competitive. As April Heinrich said to
Katie, compete, compete, compete when you're out there. And then
say sorry later. And that's why we say to Katie, compete,
compete. Say sorry later. Have fun. Yeah. And I just feel
like that has stayed in my mind with what April said
(38:01):
as well, you know, compete, compete, compete. Say sorry later.
But the minute they're not having fun out there and they're doing it for somebody
other than themselves. Yes. That's when they get in trouble. Yeah.
And just going back, like I always say, make a difference.
You know, I used to write on all the notes, so I said,
make a difference. So much so that when she was
(38:23):
16 years old, she said, I want to get a tattoo. And of course, I'm
like, oh, my God, I can't believe you want to get a tattoo. And then
she said, you're going to get one with me. And I was like, I would
never get a tattoo. I don't like needles. I do not like something final on
my skin that I can't take off. I can't do that.
But when she was, the day before she left for Penn State,
(38:45):
she arranged an appointment with a tattoo artist and took me there, and
we got a tattoo, and she got make a difference
on her arm. That's awesome. And your handwriting.
Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. And I got it on my ankle, but not in
my handwriting, but I got it on my ankle. And I think that that kind
(39:06):
of thing. I've been saying that to her every day
when she left for school, when she was, you
know, kindergarten. Make a difference today. And then I used to
tell her, come back to home today and tell me what you did to make
a difference. Oh, I held the door open for someone I helped, someone I sat
with. Someone who was alone. Katie didn't care
(39:26):
about popularity. She always sat with. She always took care of the kids
that, you know, weren't being noticed. She always cared. The kids that were on their
own. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But no,
my only point was going to be that kind of translated to
soccer, and not necessarily intentionally. In the beginning, it was just, make a
difference today. But in the soccer world,
(39:49):
you know, there's kids on a team that are down.
There's kids that aren't playing as much. There's kids that aren't. Aren't
succeeding. And so she would talk to
Them. And so she was making a difference, not only
on the field and making people around her better, but she has this
knack for making people around her smile
(40:10):
and see the other side of things and don't dwell on it so
much. So this make a difference thing, I think is really important.
And I get back to life's bigger than soccer. I
think when you're really young and you're competing, you didn't win. There's pressure
on the parents to post something about their child. There's pressure on the
kids. Honestly, all of that we
(40:33):
never really got involved in. We kind of stayed away from social media, and I
think it was just like, listen, are we having fun? Are we getting
better? Are we. Are we making a difference? Great. Let's go get
something to eat. Yeah. Are you being kind? Are you being a good human?
I feel like that was the character of our kids. I think it's, you
know, we're very lucky and fortunate, you know, in our situation.
(40:55):
And I feel like. I think that's one of the biggest things is just being
a good human, because soccer is going to come and go basketball
for Zach and Will come and go, right? So, you know, are
they being a kind human being? Are they being respectful to
other individuals that are different than they? I'll tell you one thing
that never happened. Never happened. We never sat down any
(41:17):
of our kids, you know, including Katie, and said, you better get out of there
right now in our front yard, and you better work harder and you better sprint
and you better set up cones and you better go shoot, because you were
terrible last game. I don't know what you're doing. Not even close
to that. It was never that. It was so. I mean, I think there was
never any pressure on her, so she didn't have to deal with that. And so
(41:40):
organically, she just loved the game, worked hard,
wanted to be better every day and grow. And we were there to support her.
And I think that's the most important thing. Instead of driving it,
support it. And, you
know, that. That, I think, has been our kind of motto. I think.
(42:01):
One of the best ways to relieve pressure is to help others. That's a proven
research way. In sport or in life in general,
if you want to relieve your own pressure, get outward. Right. Get out of your
own head and into somebody else. That is such great advice. And I love.
Make a difference. That's huge, right? Our saying when we go out the door in
the morning is be strong and courageous. Right? But I think I, like Mike,
(42:23):
make a difference better I'm well and I. Can'T stand my own handwriting. And
now my daughter has it tattooed on her arm every day. But it's
really kind of cool and makes me proud. So, yeah,
I love it. I think it's amazing. Yeah. Julie, you've done a great job
with her, too. You've been a big help along the way. Well, it was, it's
easy with, it's easy with Katie. She's a she. I knew, I told Karen,
(42:45):
I knew from the very beginning because I saw her, like, looking at me so
intently the very first day that I was there. I thought, this kid thinks
differently. And she was just, you know how she looks when she's intense. Oh,
yeah. She's just looking at me. And I was like. And then she didn't smile,
she didn't give any really feedback. And then one day she says, you know
what? Can we talk individually? And I'm like,
(43:08):
yeah, yeah, heck yeah,
we can. That's right. That's right. I love it. Julie,
do you have any other questions? I know we're getting to our time. The only
other thing I want, I just want one piece of advice at the end, but
do you have any other questions before we start to fade
out? You know, I think this has just been such a,
(43:29):
an eye opening discussion and, you know, and people might say, you know, it's easy
for you. Your kids have been in the elite and you didn't, you know, you
didn't have to press, but maybe they wouldn't be elite if you did press
them every night, right? If you did put that pressure on them every night. You
let them grow, like you said, organically. You help them, you
take them right to the water and then they drink when
(43:50):
they're thirsty, you know, and you and I, I'm certain that your
experience as athletes has been more of an influence than you
think, because you've, it's, you know, you didn't want to come home
every day and have someone pick everything that you did apart. You don't want to
come home from work every day and have someone pick every single thing that you
did apart. And the joy. I, I heard a
(44:11):
podcast, a sports psychologist named Jonah Oliver said in a
podcast I was listening to yesterday, says, it's not about how hard things are,
it's about how important they are. And if we lose track of their
importance, we start to focus on the threat and the pain of them.
But when things are important to us, we are willing to go that
extra mile. We are willing to withstand whatever comes. Because when you
(44:33):
are playing professional soccer. There's a ticket. Here you
go. But on the back of that ticket, there are terms and
agreements, and those things are pressure and uncertainty and all these
things that go with it. But would you give the ticket up because
of that? Not if you really love it. Right,
Right. It's part of the deal. And I think you even said you sort of
(44:54):
normalizing the mistakes, that they just happen. It's part of
it. And being able to bounce back from them is what allows you to
reach, when you're 17 years old, a professional level.
So we appreciate all of this. This has been, it's helpful to
me because I get caught up in the race to the top two sometimes. And
I know better. I know better. But still, like, there's
(45:15):
this cultural pressure that you're. I don't post. When Jensen, by the way, we
did win the science fair. We. I had to
say we because we're never doing it again.
Just to make one comment about what you just said. Katie saw that in her
older brother when he was leaving home and working
hard and held soccer to a level of
(45:39):
importance that she saw that, and
so she emulated that also. So this
is a journey. It's just up and down, up and down.
You learn from it. All those ups and downs. For sure.
Absolutely. I, I. The last question I want to end
on is you gave advice to parents the
(46:02):
next episodes with Katie. So there are athletes going to be listening to
it. What's your advice to athletes when maybe
relating to their parents or their coaches or their future? What is
your advice to them? Because they're listening to
that one might be harder than the advice to the parents.
You know, I think
(46:25):
the kids have to, I mean,
I'll probably really repeat some of the advice that I give to the other
parents, but really it's to the,
to a child out there.
You know, Karen said she wrote the word have fun. If you're not in,
if you're not enjoying what you're doing,
(46:48):
it makes it very difficult to succeed. The happiest
people are the ones that they don't work, you know,
for sure. You know, they have fun and they make a difference in
people's lives. They make a difference in their own life, and
they succeed. So the thing is, like, I would
advise, you know, these athletes to
(47:10):
not take things so seriously. Like I always
say, you know,
you get out of it what you put into it. If you want
to make the national team, if you want to play Division 1 soccer, if you
want to play in college, it's going to take work
(47:30):
lots. If you're not having fun doing that work, then you don't
want to be a Division 1 athlete. You don't want. It's not worth
it. It's so much effort. So if you have fun at
it and you understand that what you put into it, you'll get out of
it, you can
succeed. You can. You can play at a very high level
(47:52):
and you can have a lot of fun and a great career, but it takes
a lot of work, and you got it. If you don't have fun doing it,
then I would suggest you do something you have fun
with. And if you don't want to play at that level, it's okay, too,
right? It's fine. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of
people that, you know, Katie has played with over the years who were
(48:13):
very talented, very great. They didn't love it, so they did something else. They played
a different sport. And you know what? Kudos to them.
You know, that, that, that it's more important to be happy.
Life is bigger than soccer. You know,
you get out of it what you put into it, but you. You want
to have fun while you're doing it. And last thing, Corny. I
(48:37):
do want to highlight the fact that Katie did play basketball as well. I did
see that. Yeah. Yeah. So that whole
multi sport, you know, like, you can be on the. You can be a professional
soccer player. Abby Wambach did the same thing. Right. You could be a professional
soccer player and still play high school basketball. It's. It is possible, people. I know
it doesn't seem like it, but it is, and we've got proof right here.
(48:58):
True, it was difficult, but she did and she had fun with it,
and the coaches were great understanding her situation. But at the end of the
day, at the end of the day, she loved soccer so much that she had.
You have to sacrifice, too. Yes. You had to sacrifice playing basketball
to follow her dream. And. Well, I was telling Julia,
I said she did. She had to sacrifice because national team camp was coming up
(49:20):
and she didn't want to get hurt and whatnot. So you know what Katie said?
Okay, I'll be the basketball manager. I love this team so much and I
love this coach so much. I can't be there for a lot of the practices.
I get it. But if I'm available to when the games are, I'll
be manager. I'll be their biggest cheerleader. So, I mean, she got best of both
worlds then. So amazing. That is
(49:41):
amazing. Guys. I am so excited that Julie brought you on.
I'm this conversation was amazing and there is so much more to
explore explore with the Scott family. We are going to have Katie on next week
and we're going to talk to herself about her journey,
what it takes from her perspective and all the balancing, the
challenges, the successes and all the wonders. So thank you guys so
(50:04):
much for joining us today. Thank you for having us.
Thank you. So appreciative.
Thanks so much for joining us on Game Changers Athlete edition.
Remember, champions aren't born. They're built through
dedication, perseverance and the right mindset. If
you found value in today's episode, share it with a teammate, with a coach
(50:26):
or someone who could benefit from this conversation. Don't forget
to subscribe wherever you get your podcast and follow us on social media for
exclusive content and daily motivation. Until next time,
keep pushing your limits and stay focused on becoming the game
changer you are meant to be.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.