Grief, Humor, and the Long Arc of Healing: A Conversation with Rebecca Soffer of Modern Loss
In this episode of Grief is the New Normal, Dr. Heather Taylor talks with Rebecca Soffer, the co-founder of the Modern Loss community. Rebecca shares her personal journey through grief after the loss of her parents and the inception of Modern Loss. They discuss the integration of humor in grief, the importance of community, and the inadequacies in grief training for professionals. Rebecca emphasizes the value of creating personal rituals, setting boundaries, and the necessity of levity and joy amidst mourning. The conversation also touches on navigating grief-triggered days like Mother's Day and the benefits of 'going micro' to manage overwhelming emotions.
00:00 Introduction to Grief is the New Normal
00:25 Meet Rebecca Soffer: Founder of Modern Loss
00:38 Rebecca's Personal Journey with Grief
02:32 The Birth of Modern Loss
04:33 Navigating Grief and Loss
06:01 Challenges in Grief Therapy and Training
07:26 Mother's Day and Complicated Grief
18:00 The Importance of Community in Grief
19:36 Humor and Levity in Grief
24:12 Embracing the Grief Wave
24:37 Navigating Through Grief with Resources
24:58 The Bear Hunt Analogy
25:50 Building a Support System
26:41 Going Micro: Small Steps Through Grief
28:16 Mindfulness Techniques for Grief
29:28 Handling Trigger Days
30:48 Creating Coping Plans
31:46 Writing About Grief
32:00 Modern Loss Books
33:38 Staying Connected After Loss
35:24 Communing with the World
36:32 Teaching Others How to Support You
38:45 Final Takeaways on Grief
40:48 Upcoming Projects and Resources
42:58 Conclusion and Call to Action
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Rebecca Soffer is cofounder of Modern Loss, which offers creative, meaningful and encouraging content and community addressing the long arc of grief. She is also the bestselling author of The Modern Loss Handbook: An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilience (Running Press, 2022), which Gayle King named a favorite book of the year, and coauthor of Modern Loss: Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome (Harper Wave, 2018), which The Strategist named a best book on loss for a younger generation.
Rebecca also writes the Modern Loss newsletter, which is one of Substack's top Health & Wellness publications and shares intimate interviews with notable figures on their experiences with loss, including actors Cynthia Nixon, Jessica Williams, and Rachel Bloom; poet Saeed Jones; comedians Jena Friedman and Alyssa Limperis; transgender rights activist Raquel Willis; stylist Stacy London; and many more. She hosts the monthly “Light After Loss” Facebook series for 1800Flowers.com and is an expert contributor for Help Texts. Rebecca has partnered with several organizations developing tailored projects that promote their mission, including the Seleni Institute (raising awareness around perinatal mental health support) and the Parmenter Foundation (developing their UGrieve online grief awareness training course for undergraduates and graduate students).
Rebecca is a Peabody Award-winning former producer for The Colbert Report and an alumna of Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism. Social media handles: Instagram: @modernloss and @rebeccasoffer Facebook: @modernloss TikTok: @modernloss LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccasoffer/ ----------------------------------------------
Grief is the New Normal is the podcast that refuses to sugarcoat loss—because grief isn’t a problem to fix, it’s a reality to live with. Hosted by Dr. Heather Taylor, a licensed psychologist with over a decade of experience in grief, trauma, and reproductive psychology, this show dives deep into the messy, nonlinear, and very real ways grief impacts our lives.
Whether you're navigating the death of your person, wrestling with the weight of an invisible loss, or trying to figure out who you even are after everything changed—this podcast is here for you. With a mix of solo deep dives, expert interviews, and candid conversations, Dr. Taylor unpacks the emotions no one warns you about, challenges outdated grie
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