March 11, 2024 • 28 mins
It’s very confronting to discover your hair is thinning or that you have had a bald patch in the back of your head.
And that’s why it’s so brave when women come onto the podcast and speak about their hair loss.
In this episode, Bridget (that’s an alias) speaks to Bambi about her hair loss for the first time. She talks about discovering she had bald patches, living with a husband with long luscious locks and why true beauty doesn’t come from your what’s on the outside.
You'll also find out more about how to search for the real reason you’re losing your hair.
In this episode you’ll learn:
- The difference between triggers and causes
- Why female hair loss is so different to male pattern balding
- How to get your detective hat on and start searching for those underlying causes
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DISCLAIMER:
While Bambi is a former registered nurse with extensive knowledge on hair loss in women, she is not a medical doctor.
All information shared in this podcast is of a general nature.
Please see your GP or other medical professional for specific advice related to your circumstances.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello ladies, are you struggling with hairloss?
I want you to know you're not alone.
Hi, I'm Bambi Staveley, former registerednurse, author, founder of Boost N Blend
and someone who probably just like you hashad first -hand experience with hair loss,
which is all covered in my latest book,Hair Loss in Women.
(00:23):
When I noticed my own hair thinning 15years ago, I went looking for information.
and I went looking for products for women,just like you and me.
But all I could find out there wasproducts made for men.
And most of the information I could findwas about male pattern baldness.
Well, that's not much help.
So I set out to change that.
(00:44):
I want to see women with hair loss talkingabout it and talking to each other,
sharing their stories from a place ofknowledge.
So join me as I meet some courageouswomen.
I'll share some information and we'lllearn together on the Hair Loss in Women
podcast.
(01:12):
Hi ladies, it's me Bambi, back again withanother episode of the Hair Loss in Women
podcast.
Coming up a bit later, I'm going to talkabout triggers and causes.
And I'm going to explain the difference toyou because I think it's really
fundamental to hair loss in women.
But first, we're going to talk to Bridget.
Bridget is actually an alias becauseBridget is going to share her story.
(01:35):
And this is one that she has kept privateup until now.
And I think many of us...
can feel the same way Bridget feels.
We haven't told people about our hairloss.
We keep it very private.
And so I think we all understand howBridget is feeling and has felt about her
hair loss.
So it's very kind of her to open up to us.
(01:57):
So I hope you get a lot out of thisconversation.
Bridget, hi, and thank you so much forbeing here.
Hi, hi, Bambi.
Thank you for talking to me.
Yeah.
So is this the first time you've spokenout about your hair loss?
Yes.
I mentioned it in passing to a couple ofpeople, but not in any great detail.
(02:23):
And we're actually using the name Bridgettoday, but that's not your name.
We won't, we won't mention what your nameis, but the reason that we're doing that,
I guess, is
For like so many women, this is somethingthat you generally keep hidden.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And you hide it as much as you can.
Is there an overall essence of feelingthat you have about hair loss that you'd
(02:48):
like to share?
Why me?
Yeah.
It's not something that I ever expected tohave to deal with.
I remember growing up and my aunt,
So we're talking in the seventies.
She had very fine hair and she had a wigthat she would wear for special occasions.
(03:10):
And I didn't think very much of it becausethat's just what it was.
And she was white, white as whiteand beautiful.
So now when I look back, I think, wow,what a brave woman she was the days that
she didn't wear her wig.
because it was quite noticeable that shehad very fine hair and you could see her
(03:32):
scalp.
I just, I never thought I'd be thinking ofwigs and hair pieces for my future.
No, well, it's not something that we asyoung women ever expect or think about.
I think for young men, they might look attheir father or their grandfather and
(03:54):
think, oh, this is,
something that will happen to me one dayand they gradually over a period of time
get used to the idea.
But for women, we don't really expect thatthis is going to be in our future.
So not a, not at all.
So when it is, it's quite a, quite asurprise.
Yes.
Yes, it was.
Yeah.
So talk to me then about your journey.
(04:14):
When, when did you notice you were losingyour hair?
In my early thirties, I went to thehairdresser and
He said to me, Oh, look at you.
You've got a double crown.
And I didn't think anything.
Well, I don't look at the back of my head.
I don't know.
My hair covers it.
Um, and didn't think anything of it.
(04:35):
Um, then probably 10, 15 years later, Ihad changed hairdressers.
I had a child that had all this otherstuff happening.
And.
My hairdresser then the first time shesaid, so have you actually spoken to
anybody about your bald patch?
Oh, goodness.
(04:56):
What bald patch?
And she said, the one that's on the backof your head.
And she showed me and I was horrifiedbecause no one in the, no hairdresser, no
one had said anything to me up until thatpoint.
Um, it just, it was just hidden because itwas, it was a patch.
My hair hadn't started thinning out yet.
(05:18):
Um, so it was just a patch, so it could becut to hide it, but I was, I was
absolutely horrified and I didn't knowwhat to do.
And so did you do anything about it then?
I kind of went into denial for a littlewhile and then probably about six months,
(05:38):
only 12 months later, my hairdresser said,you know, you really should just see your
doctor.
So I did.
I went to my GP.
who I wished I could have seen my regularone, but she had just recently retired.
So I saw her replacement who was a youngman, probably about 15 years younger than
me.
And he took one look at me and said, oh,that's female pattern balding.
(06:01):
You could try Rogaine, I suppose.
And that was it.
I just went, thanks.
And walked out and I never went back tohim, funnily enough.
Fancy that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I think that's what that's theexperience a lot of women have had is, um,
(06:25):
and me included is that a male doctor ormedical professional looks at your hair
and, and you say you're losing it and theygo, well, you're not really, or you've got
a lot of hair or what's your problem or,you know, and he might be truly balding,
obviously balding, I should say, I guess.
And so for us,
(06:45):
That instant sort of denial or dismissalis really heartbreaking because you know
what's going on and you feel that you'renot being heard and, and because you're
not being heard, there's really seems tobe nothing you can do about it.
Oh, exactly.
Yeah.
Exactly.
(07:06):
So what are some of the things you'vetried over the years?
Well, I didn't try anything like Rogaineor anything like that because I
hadn't heard anything good about any ofit.
I was blonde at the time and it didn't,wasn't as noticeable.
And it wasn't until I was actually, I wasmatron of honor in a wedding and at the
(07:26):
reception, it was really windy and theywere filming from behind and I saw my hair
fly out and saw my bald patch.
I don't know if anybody else noticed it,but I saw it in the wedding video.
And that's when I started looking.
for something to disguise it so that youwouldn't be able to tell that there wasn't
(07:46):
hair there.
I hadn't heard about Boost and Blend atthat stage.
I was importing stuff from the States andit was horrible.
It was like this powdery stuff that youput on with the powder puff and it stained
your hands and it stained everything.
It was just horrendous and it wasexpensive and it took forever to get here.
(08:07):
So I'd buy a heap so that I didn't runout.
And I've tried shampoos and all that sortof thing, but I haven't found anything
that has actually made a difference.
So I just go down the route, um, hiding itas much as I can.
Yeah.
With hair fibers is what you're talkingabout.
Yes, yes.
Now that's exactly right.
That's what I use.
(08:28):
And I'm so grateful for that productbecause it means I can walk down the
street and if the wind blows my head andsomeone walking behind me doesn't see it
and people don't notice.
So.
And I've got a very good hairdresser nowwho's very supportive and she cuts my hair
very well.
So she hides a lot of sins.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, that's great.
Well, so you say, uh, is it, is itthinning all over?
(08:52):
So you said, said it is now, right?
It is now.
Okay.
Yes.
So do you ever have a lot of shedding whenyou wash your hair or is this all just a
gradual thing?
It's been really gradual.
I've never really noticed like clumpscoming out or anything.
Um, it's more, it,
It's really good.
I've always had really fine hair, but on alot of it now I've just got really fine
(09:16):
hair.
Yeah.
So it's not something that I would noticevery much in the shower and that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you see hair growth yourself?
You know, the little bits sticking upeverywhere when you blow dry hair.
Okay.
Yep.
And I'm assuming that of, of later, ofrecent times you've had blood tests and,
(09:36):
and gone down a different, you know,various paths with your.
GP?
No, because since that experience withthat GP, I actually haven't spoken to the
doctor I see now about it.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, and that's just so common,I think that we don't really want to, it's
(09:56):
sort of embarrassing and you don't reallywant to talk to anyone about it.
And when you, and when we feel sodismissed, it takes away that.
You know, you might've said it to thefirst guy expecting that he would say, Oh
yeah, Oh, right.
Okay.
Look, let's, let's try this or that, or,or, you know, I've had success with
something, but when you get dismissed, yousort of feel like, well, I don't really
(10:18):
want to bring this up again.
Cause you don't know what kind of result,what, you know, sort of result you're
going to get.
Yeah, that's right.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
So you live with your husband.
Is that right?
Yes.
Yep.
So does he know about your hair loss?
No.
No, he doesn't.
(10:38):
I've mentioned it in passing, you know he has,I'm so envious of him.
He has the most beautiful, thick, wavy,luxurious hair and his midlife crisis is
he has grown it out.
It's past his shoulders.
I envy him so much.
And there have been times where he's.
(10:59):
He said, at least I'm never going to bebalding.
And I've just in passing said, oh, youknow, I'm losing my hair or my hair is
thinning.
And okay, I love him, but he's not themost observant man.
So that would just go straight over hishead.
I'll look back.
So an example, I wear glasses and Ichanged frames.
I went from a bright red pair to a bluepair and it took him a month to notice.
(11:22):
So he doesn't look at stuff like that.
He's got other.
qualities, but so, you know, it goes inone ear and out the other.
I'm sure if I showed him, if I stood thereand said, look at the back of my head,
this is what I'm talking about.
He would obviously realize that it's notsomething, I can't do it.
(11:43):
I can't show him.
Okay.
So, so him, him, um, ignoring it or notbeing aware of it in a way, is that better
for you?
Or would you feel better if he had anopinion?
I don't really know, but that's a reallyinteresting question.
(12:08):
I think with him not knowing, I can kindof be a little bit in denial still.
Like I said, you know, I style my hair andyou can't see it with what I use.
So it's hidden.
But then there's a part of me that justwishes that I didn't feel so embarrassed
(12:29):
about it.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry, Bridget.
I can hear the emotion in your voice andactually it's made, it's made me go, um,
have goosebumps just because I, I just, Iknow how that feels.
Um, it actually, it actually makes tearswell up in my eyes because I, I totally
(12:51):
understand the feeling of.
looking in the mirror and feeling like,well, you know, I've tried everything.
I'm doing everything I can.
Um, I try to put on a brave face, youknow, I put in my hair fibers, I style my
hair as best I can.
And I think the, there's a lot of womenwho feel exactly as you feel.
(13:13):
And as I feel, it does feel so hopeless attimes.
It feels like I just, it's so hard to keepgoing.
You know, it's so hard to keep.
keep a brave face on when it bothers youand you feel that way.
So I'm sorry to, sorry to make you thinkit through again, but you know, it's,
(13:33):
yeah, it's, it's tough.
So do you think that hiding your hair lossor thinking about it or living with it
takes up a lot of energy in your day orare you kind of able to move past it at a
certain point in the day and then just,you know, not, not really think about it?
(13:53):
For me, it's, it's, I've set up my littleroutine after I do my hair and my makeup
and everything.
Uh, and I checked the back of my head amillion times.
Um, then I have to just walk away and letit be because otherwise I won't, I
wouldn't leave the house.
Yeah.
Basically is what he could come down to.
If I didn't put on that brave face andgo, okay, well, it is what it is.
(14:17):
If people see what they see, then so beit.
And yeah.
Really, you know, deep down, I know peoplearen't looking at me.
They don't give a hoot about, you know,anybody else who's concerned about
themselves.
It's my own vanity that, that is, uh, iswhat's driving the way I'm feeling.
Yeah.
(14:37):
You say vanity, but I actually think thatthere's something much deeper than that.
And it's, it's our self -esteem.
It's our, um, who, who we are, who weidentify as.
And, you know, I, I often say, and one ofthe things that came out in, in, when I
(14:57):
was writing my book about this is we, weshould try looking, uh, out and smiling at
people.
And I mean, I make a huge effort to smileat people who look like nobody smiled at
them today.
And there's, you know, I just want to tryand look out and, and try to.
(15:21):
Um, create happiness in someone else'sface, I guess.
And I always feel better when I do that.
It kind of gets me, gets me through toughspots.
And yes, I don't think people are lookingat our hair.
I really don't.
I think, well, once we've got hair fibersin and it's really our secret mostly, you
know, particularly if you've got a greathairdresser who can help to, um, you know,
(15:42):
disguise with style and all those sorts ofthings as I've done.
And I know, I know you've done Bridget.
And I think, you know, once we've, we've.
done the best we can, we've disguised asbest we can, then I think people just look
at our face and smiling and trying to getthrough.
I know this all sounds very Nirvana thatwe can all go through the day smiling.
(16:05):
I realize that we can't, but sometimes ithelps to just look forward and smile and
forget about it.
I don't think people are noticing.
I really don't.
I mean, the odd person maybe, but eventhen I just...
I think that's rare.
I think once we've sort of done what wecan to cover it up, and I mean, that's not
(16:26):
the case for everyone.
Not everyone can cover it up with hairfibers.
So, you know, we are lucky in that sensethat we do have an option.
Not everybody does.
So is there something that you wish thatyou could tell other women about hair
loss?
Is there something that we would likeother women to know or that you'd like
(16:47):
other women to know?
It doesn't make you any less of a woman ifyou're losing your hair.
Because the way I was raised, you know,long hair was what was feminine, you know,
and that's every woman was supposed tohave long hair, but that's not what makes
you feminine.
It's more about the kindness in yourheart, the smile on your face, the way you
(17:12):
treat other people.
That's, that's what makes you woman.
That's what makes you loving.
And whether you've got hair or not, thatdoesn't change.
And also just when something like thishappens, in a way I'm grateful because
there could be so much worse.
You know, there are other people who I seeevery day and you know that their life,
(17:35):
there are other things in their lives thatare quite hard, but really in the grand
scheme of things, the fact that I have tohide that I've got patches of baldness on
my head is really not.
It's not the end of my world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Though it does feel like it sometimes Iknow.
(17:55):
Yes, it does.
Yes, it does.
When I actually, when I actually thinkabout it, like I have this morning, then
yes, then I get very emotional.
But for the most part, it is what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you been able to connect with anyother women or any community for women
with hair loss?
Not really.
I haven't.
(18:16):
To be honest, I haven't looked to do that.
And I think that's still part of my denialthere.
You know, if I, if I speak to other women,then I'm, I'm more, I don't want to say
accepting of it.
It's, you know, it is, it has to be partof my life.
So I think down the track though, thatwill be something that I look to do.
(18:41):
I actually have a relatively close friendwho is
Who has extremely, extremely thin hair.
It's very noticeable.
And I don't know how she does it.
She doesn't even like, she doesn't hideit.
She doesn't do anything.
Right.
Um, so one of these days I'm going to havethe conversation with her about it.
(19:02):
Um, because I just, I just love how she,it's, this is who I am just taking it as I
am.
And that's it.
Yeah.
Um, and I admire that.
Yeah.
I admire that too.
I can't, I'm not at that stage yet.
I know the day will come because I do, Ido.
And when I have a bad day, I entertain thethought of shaving it off.
(19:23):
Yeah.
Just getting rid of it all and just beinglike that.
But then reality.
A lot of women do get to that point andeither just wear their head with pride or
find it easier to wear wigs.
when they've shaved the hair off justbecause the wigs sort of tend to sit
(19:43):
better.
So I'm told so yeah.
Well, look, Bridget, thank you so much forbearing your soul for us and for the many
women out there who are sitting at home.
I think just knowing that they're notalone, that there's other women out here
(20:04):
and we feel very similarly.
And you know, there is a sisterhood.
though may we be perhaps silent, at leastwe are out here and hopefully just having
these conversations will help makesomebody else's day a little brighter and
you know, that's what we want to do.
Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you Bambi.
So thank you, Bridget.
(20:26):
Thank you again, Bridget.
It's a really brave thing to share yourhair loss story.
And if you're feeling brave and want toshare your story too, please send me an
email.
My email address, my personal emailaddress is bambi@boostandblend.com and I
will read your email and I'll get back intouch with you.
But now it's time to talk about theunderlying causes of hair loss and the
(20:51):
triggers that often start all of this.
Okay, back again.
So today I want to talk about somethingthat I think is fundamental to
understanding hair loss in a woman.
Completely different to hair loss in men.
I mean, we know male pattern baldness iscaused by the change in a man's hormones.
(21:13):
Pure and simple.
It's been studied for decades.
There are literally hundreds, if notthousands of papers on it.
Male hair loss is very, very wellunderstood.
But for women,
It's just not that simple.
One thing that is generally understoodabout female hair loss is that it is what
is called multifactorial, which means manyfactors are involved.
(21:38):
But what I find really interesting isalthough this idea that female hair loss
is known to be multifactorial, that onepoint seems to be overlooked by just about
everybody, certainly by many doctors.
So what does it actually mean?
Well, it means that there are many factorsinvolved in our hair loss.
(22:02):
So if there are many factors, then it'sreally hard to find the cause.
And if it's hard to find the cause, thenit's going to be hard to fix.
So no wonder you're not finding a simpleanswer, right?
No wonder your doctor hasn't figured itout either.
And guess what?
Not only is it difficult from that pointof view, but it's unique to every
individual.
(22:22):
So.
The triggers and the causes in you and meare going to be completely different.
Let's boil it down into an easy tounderstand group of factors, if you like.
They're grouped broadly in two separateheadings.
There's triggers and then there'sunderlying causes.
So let's talk about triggers first.
So triggers are things like, for example,a diet, a ketogenic diet or a harsh diet
(22:49):
of some kind.
Not that I'm saying ketogenic diets areharsh, but ...
They can cause some good, decent weightloss and a definite change in diet, or
maybe a sudden change in estrogen levels,which can happen in a postpartum
situation.
Estrogen levels drop suddenly.
A stressful event, that can be a trigger.
(23:10):
An illness, many, many illnesses can betriggers, but COVID -19 in particular is
known to be a trigger for hair loss.
Surgery, particularly major surgery, a bigmove.
maybe moving overseas, for example, or adivorce, you know, a terrible relationship
breakdown.
And some people recover, most peopleactually recover really easily from a
(23:32):
trigger.
But interestingly, others don't.
But why doesn't everyone who goes throughone of these triggers lose their hair?
I mean, not everybody who gets a new jobor goes through a divorce loses their
hair, right?
And then why doesn't ...
everyone who does go through thesetriggers grow their hair back.
(23:54):
The answer to that is because there'ssomething else going on.
And that's what we group under the topicof underlying causes.
So unfortunately, there are many, manyunderlying causes and I couldn't possibly
list them all.
I have listed most of them in my bookthough, Hair Loss in Women, but some of
the most common underlying causes forexample are
(24:17):
low estrogen.
So a woman's estrogen starts to drop afterthe age of 40 and it does continue through
until menopause.
Menopause also, while considered topossibly be an underlying cause, may not
in itself be the underlying cause.
It could involve something else like apoor diet, for example, or low iron, low
(24:39):
vitamin D.
Another possible underlying cause, whichis very common, is digestive issues.
So irritable bowel, malabsorption.
Malabsorption is when the body isn'tabsorbing the right kind of nutrients from
the food that you're eating.
And this can actually be caused bymedications, for example.
Another underlying cause perhaps isthyroid issues, very common.
(25:03):
Another one is perhaps being overweightwith insulin resistance, which again could
involve a poor diet.
Long -term stress is also an underlyingcause.
But...
You could have more than one of these.
So that just complicates things evenfurther.
You fix one, but you haven't identifiedthat you've got others or fixed the
others.
(25:23):
No wonder we're all confused.
So have you had a trigger in your life?
Are you still waiting for your hair togrow back?
And it's only been three to six months?
Well, okay.
Wait a little bit longer because it doestake up to three to six months for the
trigger to have gone away perhaps and foryour body to start recovering.
(25:43):
So it actually can take up to a year foryour hair to grow back after a trigger.
But if it's been longer than a year sincethe trigger, then I suggest you start
looking for other underlying causes.
And I think we know that hair loss in awoman is indicating that something is
wrong.
And while it's not easy to try and get tothe bottom of your underlying causes, it
(26:05):
really is a worthwhile pursuit.
One of the other things that I hear veryoften is that women say, oh, it's just
hereditary.
You know, my mother, my auntie, or bothhave hair loss.
And so I figured I've just inherited that.
Well, I'd like to suggest that may notnecessarily be the case.
(26:26):
What I think is often the case is thatyou've inherited the propensity for the
underlying cause.
So maybe your mother had an inability tostore iron.
Or maybe she also had a sharp decline inestrogen at some point at a certain age,
or maybe she had thyroid issues.
(26:46):
But because she didn't know that thoseunderlying causes were there, she didn't
know to look for them or fix them.
So I'd say don't assume that because youhave hair loss and say your mother or
other female relatives had hair loss, thatit's a done deal for you.
There's nothing you can do.
You won't know if you don't look.
You won't know that you don't have some ofthese other underlying causes if you don't
(27:08):
look.
But I'd have to say female hair loss isreally a complex issue.
There's so much more I could tell youabout triggers and underlying causes.
So I'd suggest that if you can, maybe gethold of a copy of my book because I do go
into triggers and underlying causes in ahuge way in my book.
(27:28):
But nonetheless, this is enough to sendyou down the direction of where to look
and make a doctor's appointment and startoff with a blood test.
That's the first place I always suggestyou look.
Of course, as in all these episodes, theadvice given is of a general nature.
Please check with your doctor for your ownspecific health advice.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed this episodetoday.
(27:49):
It's been very interesting listening toBridget tell her story.
And I hope that you get something out ofour little, did you know segment on
triggers and underlying causes.
And as I always like to say, kindness isbeautiful.
So wear it every day.
Thanks for joining me on the Hair Loss inWomen podcast.
(28:12):
And a big thank you to the women who sharetheir stories here and with others in
their community.
One of the hardest things about hair lossfor women is that we don't talk about it.
So if you do want to hear more, pleasesubscribe to the podcast.
And if you like what you heard, why notleave a review?
Positive reviews will help other women tofind this podcast too.
(28:35):
You can also find out more in my book.
care loss in women.
This podcast has been recorded in Sydney,Australia and is produced by Pod and Pen
Productions.
Hello ladies, are you struggling with hairloss?
I want you to know you're not alone.
Hi, I'm Bambi Staveley, former registerednurse, author, founder of Boost N Blend
and someone who probably just like you hashad first -hand experience with hair loss,
which is all covered in my latest book,Hair Loss in Women.
(00:23):
When I noticed my own hair thinning 15years ago, I went looking for information.
and I went looking for products for women,just like you and me.
But all I could find out there wasproducts made for men.
And most of the information I could findwas about male pattern baldness.
Well, that's not much help.
So I set out to change that.
(00:44):
I want to see women with hair loss talkingabout it and talking to each other,
sharing their stories from a place ofknowledge.
So join me as I meet some courageouswomen.
I'll share some information and we'lllearn together on the Hair Loss in Women
podcast.
(01:12):
Hi ladies, it's me Bambi, back again withanother episode of the Hair Loss in Women
podcast.
Coming up a bit later, I'm going to talkabout triggers and causes.
And I'm going to explain the difference toyou because I think it's really
fundamental to hair loss in women.
But first, we're going to talk to Bridget.
Bridget is actually an alias becauseBridget is going to share her story.
(01:35):
And this is one that she has kept privateup until now.
And I think many of us...
can feel the same way Bridget feels.
We haven't told people about our hairloss.
We keep it very private.
And so I think we all understand howBridget is feeling and has felt about her
hair loss.
So it's very kind of her to open up to us.
(01:57):
So I hope you get a lot out of thisconversation.
Bridget, hi, and thank you so much forbeing here.
Hi, hi, Bambi.
Thank you for talking to me.
Yeah.
So is this the first time you've spokenout about your hair loss?
Yes.
I mentioned it in passing to a couple ofpeople, but not in any great detail.
(02:23):
And we're actually using the name Bridgettoday, but that's not your name.
We won't, we won't mention what your nameis, but the reason that we're doing that,
I guess, is
For like so many women, this is somethingthat you generally keep hidden.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And you hide it as much as you can.
Is there an overall essence of feelingthat you have about hair loss that you'd
(02:48):
like to share?
Why me?
Yeah.
It's not something that I ever expected tohave to deal with.
I remember growing up and my aunt,
So we're talking in the seventies.
She had very fine hair and she had a wigthat she would wear for special occasions.
(03:10):
And I didn't think very much of it becausethat's just what it was.
And she was white, white as whiteand beautiful.
So now when I look back, I think, wow,what a brave woman she was the days that
she didn't wear her wig.
because it was quite noticeable that shehad very fine hair and you could see her
(03:32):
scalp.
I just, I never thought I'd be thinking ofwigs and hair pieces for my future.
No, well, it's not something that we asyoung women ever expect or think about.
I think for young men, they might look attheir father or their grandfather and
(03:54):
think, oh, this is,
something that will happen to me one dayand they gradually over a period of time
get used to the idea.
But for women, we don't really expect thatthis is going to be in our future.
So not a, not at all.
So when it is, it's quite a, quite asurprise.
Yes.
Yes, it was.
Yeah.
So talk to me then about your journey.
(04:14):
When, when did you notice you were losingyour hair?
In my early thirties, I went to thehairdresser and
He said to me, Oh, look at you.
You've got a double crown.
And I didn't think anything.
Well, I don't look at the back of my head.
I don't know.
My hair covers it.
Um, and didn't think anything of it.
(04:35):
Um, then probably 10, 15 years later, Ihad changed hairdressers.
I had a child that had all this otherstuff happening.
And.
My hairdresser then the first time shesaid, so have you actually spoken to
anybody about your bald patch?
Oh, goodness.
(04:56):
What bald patch?
And she said, the one that's on the backof your head.
And she showed me and I was horrifiedbecause no one in the, no hairdresser, no
one had said anything to me up until thatpoint.
Um, it just, it was just hidden because itwas, it was a patch.
My hair hadn't started thinning out yet.
(05:18):
Um, so it was just a patch, so it could becut to hide it, but I was, I was
absolutely horrified and I didn't knowwhat to do.
And so did you do anything about it then?
I kind of went into denial for a littlewhile and then probably about six months,
(05:38):
only 12 months later, my hairdresser said,you know, you really should just see your
doctor.
So I did.
I went to my GP.
who I wished I could have seen my regularone, but she had just recently retired.
So I saw her replacement who was a youngman, probably about 15 years younger than
me.
And he took one look at me and said, oh,that's female pattern balding.
(06:01):
You could try Rogaine, I suppose.
And that was it.
I just went, thanks.
And walked out and I never went back tohim, funnily enough.
Fancy that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I think that's what that's theexperience a lot of women have had is, um,
(06:25):
and me included is that a male doctor ormedical professional looks at your hair
and, and you say you're losing it and theygo, well, you're not really, or you've got
a lot of hair or what's your problem or,you know, and he might be truly balding,
obviously balding, I should say, I guess.
And so for us,
(06:45):
That instant sort of denial or dismissalis really heartbreaking because you know
what's going on and you feel that you'renot being heard and, and because you're
not being heard, there's really seems tobe nothing you can do about it.
Oh, exactly.
Yeah.
Exactly.
(07:06):
So what are some of the things you'vetried over the years?
Well, I didn't try anything like Rogaineor anything like that because I
hadn't heard anything good about any ofit.
I was blonde at the time and it didn't,wasn't as noticeable.
And it wasn't until I was actually, I wasmatron of honor in a wedding and at the
(07:26):
reception, it was really windy and theywere filming from behind and I saw my hair
fly out and saw my bald patch.
I don't know if anybody else noticed it,but I saw it in the wedding video.
And that's when I started looking.
for something to disguise it so that youwouldn't be able to tell that there wasn't
(07:46):
hair there.
I hadn't heard about Boost and Blend atthat stage.
I was importing stuff from the States andit was horrible.
It was like this powdery stuff that youput on with the powder puff and it stained
your hands and it stained everything.
It was just horrendous and it wasexpensive and it took forever to get here.
(08:07):
So I'd buy a heap so that I didn't runout.
And I've tried shampoos and all that sortof thing, but I haven't found anything
that has actually made a difference.
So I just go down the route, um, hiding itas much as I can.
Yeah.
With hair fibers is what you're talkingabout.
Yes, yes.
Now that's exactly right.
That's what I use.
(08:28):
And I'm so grateful for that productbecause it means I can walk down the
street and if the wind blows my head andsomeone walking behind me doesn't see it
and people don't notice.
So.
And I've got a very good hairdresser nowwho's very supportive and she cuts my hair
very well.
So she hides a lot of sins.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, that's great.
Well, so you say, uh, is it, is itthinning all over?
(08:52):
So you said, said it is now, right?
It is now.
Okay.
Yes.
So do you ever have a lot of shedding whenyou wash your hair or is this all just a
gradual thing?
It's been really gradual.
I've never really noticed like clumpscoming out or anything.
Um, it's more, it,
It's really good.
I've always had really fine hair, but on alot of it now I've just got really fine
(09:16):
hair.
Yeah.
So it's not something that I would noticevery much in the shower and that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you see hair growth yourself?
You know, the little bits sticking upeverywhere when you blow dry hair.
Okay.
Yep.
And I'm assuming that of, of later, ofrecent times you've had blood tests and,
(09:36):
and gone down a different, you know,various paths with your.
GP?
No, because since that experience withthat GP, I actually haven't spoken to the
doctor I see now about it.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, and that's just so common,I think that we don't really want to, it's
(09:56):
sort of embarrassing and you don't reallywant to talk to anyone about it.
And when you, and when we feel sodismissed, it takes away that.
You know, you might've said it to thefirst guy expecting that he would say, Oh
yeah, Oh, right.
Okay.
Look, let's, let's try this or that, or,or, you know, I've had success with
something, but when you get dismissed, yousort of feel like, well, I don't really
(10:18):
want to bring this up again.
Cause you don't know what kind of result,what, you know, sort of result you're
going to get.
Yeah, that's right.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
So you live with your husband.
Is that right?
Yes.
Yep.
So does he know about your hair loss?
No.
No, he doesn't.
(10:38):
I've mentioned it in passing, you know he has,I'm so envious of him.
He has the most beautiful, thick, wavy,luxurious hair and his midlife crisis is
he has grown it out.
It's past his shoulders.
I envy him so much.
And there have been times where he's.
(10:59):
He said, at least I'm never going to bebalding.
And I've just in passing said, oh, youknow, I'm losing my hair or my hair is
thinning.
And okay, I love him, but he's not themost observant man.
So that would just go straight over hishead.
I'll look back.
So an example, I wear glasses and Ichanged frames.
I went from a bright red pair to a bluepair and it took him a month to notice.
(11:22):
So he doesn't look at stuff like that.
He's got other.
qualities, but so, you know, it goes inone ear and out the other.
I'm sure if I showed him, if I stood thereand said, look at the back of my head,
this is what I'm talking about.
He would obviously realize that it's notsomething, I can't do it.
(11:43):
I can't show him.
Okay.
So, so him, him, um, ignoring it or notbeing aware of it in a way, is that better
for you?
Or would you feel better if he had anopinion?
I don't really know, but that's a reallyinteresting question.
(12:08):
I think with him not knowing, I can kindof be a little bit in denial still.
Like I said, you know, I style my hair andyou can't see it with what I use.
So it's hidden.
But then there's a part of me that justwishes that I didn't feel so embarrassed
(12:29):
about it.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry, Bridget.
I can hear the emotion in your voice andactually it's made, it's made me go, um,
have goosebumps just because I, I just, Iknow how that feels.
Um, it actually, it actually makes tearswell up in my eyes because I, I totally
(12:51):
understand the feeling of.
looking in the mirror and feeling like,well, you know, I've tried everything.
I'm doing everything I can.
Um, I try to put on a brave face, youknow, I put in my hair fibers, I style my
hair as best I can.
And I think the, there's a lot of womenwho feel exactly as you feel.
(13:13):
And as I feel, it does feel so hopeless attimes.
It feels like I just, it's so hard to keepgoing.
You know, it's so hard to keep.
keep a brave face on when it bothers youand you feel that way.
So I'm sorry to, sorry to make you thinkit through again, but you know, it's,
(13:33):
yeah, it's, it's tough.
So do you think that hiding your hair lossor thinking about it or living with it
takes up a lot of energy in your day orare you kind of able to move past it at a
certain point in the day and then just,you know, not, not really think about it?
(13:53):
For me, it's, it's, I've set up my littleroutine after I do my hair and my makeup
and everything.
Uh, and I checked the back of my head amillion times.
Um, then I have to just walk away and letit be because otherwise I won't, I
wouldn't leave the house.
Yeah.
Basically is what he could come down to.
If I didn't put on that brave face andgo, okay, well, it is what it is.
(14:17):
If people see what they see, then so beit.
And yeah.
Really, you know, deep down, I know peoplearen't looking at me.
They don't give a hoot about, you know,anybody else who's concerned about
themselves.
It's my own vanity that, that is, uh, iswhat's driving the way I'm feeling.
Yeah.
(14:37):
You say vanity, but I actually think thatthere's something much deeper than that.
And it's, it's our self -esteem.
It's our, um, who, who we are, who weidentify as.
And, you know, I, I often say, and one ofthe things that came out in, in, when I
(14:57):
was writing my book about this is we, weshould try looking, uh, out and smiling at
people.
And I mean, I make a huge effort to smileat people who look like nobody smiled at
them today.
And there's, you know, I just want to tryand look out and, and try to.
(15:21):
Um, create happiness in someone else'sface, I guess.
And I always feel better when I do that.
It kind of gets me, gets me through toughspots.
And yes, I don't think people are lookingat our hair.
I really don't.
I think, well, once we've got hair fibersin and it's really our secret mostly, you
know, particularly if you've got a greathairdresser who can help to, um, you know,
(15:42):
disguise with style and all those sorts ofthings as I've done.
And I know, I know you've done Bridget.
And I think, you know, once we've, we've.
done the best we can, we've disguised asbest we can, then I think people just look
at our face and smiling and trying to getthrough.
I know this all sounds very Nirvana thatwe can all go through the day smiling.
(16:05):
I realize that we can't, but sometimes ithelps to just look forward and smile and
forget about it.
I don't think people are noticing.
I really don't.
I mean, the odd person maybe, but eventhen I just...
I think that's rare.
I think once we've sort of done what wecan to cover it up, and I mean, that's not
(16:26):
the case for everyone.
Not everyone can cover it up with hairfibers.
So, you know, we are lucky in that sensethat we do have an option.
Not everybody does.
So is there something that you wish thatyou could tell other women about hair
loss?
Is there something that we would likeother women to know or that you'd like
(16:47):
other women to know?
It doesn't make you any less of a woman ifyou're losing your hair.
Because the way I was raised, you know,long hair was what was feminine, you know,
and that's every woman was supposed tohave long hair, but that's not what makes
you feminine.
It's more about the kindness in yourheart, the smile on your face, the way you
(17:12):
treat other people.
That's, that's what makes you woman.
That's what makes you loving.
And whether you've got hair or not, thatdoesn't change.
And also just when something like thishappens, in a way I'm grateful because
there could be so much worse.
You know, there are other people who I seeevery day and you know that their life,
(17:35):
there are other things in their lives thatare quite hard, but really in the grand
scheme of things, the fact that I have tohide that I've got patches of baldness on
my head is really not.
It's not the end of my world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Though it does feel like it sometimes Iknow.
(17:55):
Yes, it does.
Yes, it does.
When I actually, when I actually thinkabout it, like I have this morning, then
yes, then I get very emotional.
But for the most part, it is what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you been able to connect with anyother women or any community for women
with hair loss?
Not really.
I haven't.
(18:16):
To be honest, I haven't looked to do that.
And I think that's still part of my denialthere.
You know, if I, if I speak to other women,then I'm, I'm more, I don't want to say
accepting of it.
It's, you know, it is, it has to be partof my life.
So I think down the track though, thatwill be something that I look to do.
(18:41):
I actually have a relatively close friendwho is
Who has extremely, extremely thin hair.
It's very noticeable.
And I don't know how she does it.
She doesn't even like, she doesn't hideit.
She doesn't do anything.
Right.
Um, so one of these days I'm going to havethe conversation with her about it.
(19:02):
Um, because I just, I just love how she,it's, this is who I am just taking it as I
am.
And that's it.
Yeah.
Um, and I admire that.
Yeah.
I admire that too.
I can't, I'm not at that stage yet.
I know the day will come because I do, Ido.
And when I have a bad day, I entertain thethought of shaving it off.
(19:23):
Yeah.
Just getting rid of it all and just beinglike that.
But then reality.
A lot of women do get to that point andeither just wear their head with pride or
find it easier to wear wigs.
when they've shaved the hair off justbecause the wigs sort of tend to sit
(19:43):
better.
So I'm told so yeah.
Well, look, Bridget, thank you so much forbearing your soul for us and for the many
women out there who are sitting at home.
I think just knowing that they're notalone, that there's other women out here
(20:04):
and we feel very similarly.
And you know, there is a sisterhood.
though may we be perhaps silent, at leastwe are out here and hopefully just having
these conversations will help makesomebody else's day a little brighter and
you know, that's what we want to do.
Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you Bambi.
So thank you, Bridget.
(20:26):
Thank you again, Bridget.
It's a really brave thing to share yourhair loss story.
And if you're feeling brave and want toshare your story too, please send me an
email.
My email address, my personal emailaddress is bambi@boostandblend.com and I
will read your email and I'll get back intouch with you.
But now it's time to talk about theunderlying causes of hair loss and the
(20:51):
triggers that often start all of this.
Okay, back again.
So today I want to talk about somethingthat I think is fundamental to
understanding hair loss in a woman.
Completely different to hair loss in men.
I mean, we know male pattern baldness iscaused by the change in a man's hormones.
(21:13):
Pure and simple.
It's been studied for decades.
There are literally hundreds, if notthousands of papers on it.
Male hair loss is very, very wellunderstood.
But for women,
It's just not that simple.
One thing that is generally understoodabout female hair loss is that it is what
is called multifactorial, which means manyfactors are involved.
(21:38):
But what I find really interesting isalthough this idea that female hair loss
is known to be multifactorial, that onepoint seems to be overlooked by just about
everybody, certainly by many doctors.
So what does it actually mean?
Well, it means that there are many factorsinvolved in our hair loss.
(22:02):
So if there are many factors, then it'sreally hard to find the cause.
And if it's hard to find the cause, thenit's going to be hard to fix.
So no wonder you're not finding a simpleanswer, right?
No wonder your doctor hasn't figured itout either.
And guess what?
Not only is it difficult from that pointof view, but it's unique to every
individual.
(22:22):
So.
The triggers and the causes in you and meare going to be completely different.
Let's boil it down into an easy tounderstand group of factors, if you like.
They're grouped broadly in two separateheadings.
There's triggers and then there'sunderlying causes.
So let's talk about triggers first.
So triggers are things like, for example,a diet, a ketogenic diet or a harsh diet
(22:49):
of some kind.
Not that I'm saying ketogenic diets areharsh, but ...
They can cause some good, decent weightloss and a definite change in diet, or
maybe a sudden change in estrogen levels,which can happen in a postpartum
situation.
Estrogen levels drop suddenly.
A stressful event, that can be a trigger.
(23:10):
An illness, many, many illnesses can betriggers, but COVID -19 in particular is
known to be a trigger for hair loss.
Surgery, particularly major surgery, a bigmove.
maybe moving overseas, for example, or adivorce, you know, a terrible relationship
breakdown.
And some people recover, most peopleactually recover really easily from a
(23:32):
trigger.
But interestingly, others don't.
But why doesn't everyone who goes throughone of these triggers lose their hair?
I mean, not everybody who gets a new jobor goes through a divorce loses their
hair, right?
And then why doesn't ...
everyone who does go through thesetriggers grow their hair back.
(23:54):
The answer to that is because there'ssomething else going on.
And that's what we group under the topicof underlying causes.
So unfortunately, there are many, manyunderlying causes and I couldn't possibly
list them all.
I have listed most of them in my bookthough, Hair Loss in Women, but some of
the most common underlying causes forexample are
(24:17):
low estrogen.
So a woman's estrogen starts to drop afterthe age of 40 and it does continue through
until menopause.
Menopause also, while considered topossibly be an underlying cause, may not
in itself be the underlying cause.
It could involve something else like apoor diet, for example, or low iron, low
(24:39):
vitamin D.
Another possible underlying cause, whichis very common, is digestive issues.
So irritable bowel, malabsorption.
Malabsorption is when the body isn'tabsorbing the right kind of nutrients from
the food that you're eating.
And this can actually be caused bymedications, for example.
Another underlying cause perhaps isthyroid issues, very common.
(25:03):
Another one is perhaps being overweightwith insulin resistance, which again could
involve a poor diet.
Long -term stress is also an underlyingcause.
But...
You could have more than one of these.
So that just complicates things evenfurther.
You fix one, but you haven't identifiedthat you've got others or fixed the
others.
(25:23):
No wonder we're all confused.
So have you had a trigger in your life?
Are you still waiting for your hair togrow back?
And it's only been three to six months?
Well, okay.
Wait a little bit longer because it doestake up to three to six months for the
trigger to have gone away perhaps and foryour body to start recovering.
(25:43):
So it actually can take up to a year foryour hair to grow back after a trigger.
But if it's been longer than a year sincethe trigger, then I suggest you start
looking for other underlying causes.
And I think we know that hair loss in awoman is indicating that something is
wrong.
And while it's not easy to try and get tothe bottom of your underlying causes, it
(26:05):
really is a worthwhile pursuit.
One of the other things that I hear veryoften is that women say, oh, it's just
hereditary.
You know, my mother, my auntie, or bothhave hair loss.
And so I figured I've just inherited that.
Well, I'd like to suggest that may notnecessarily be the case.
(26:26):
What I think is often the case is thatyou've inherited the propensity for the
underlying cause.
So maybe your mother had an inability tostore iron.
Or maybe she also had a sharp decline inestrogen at some point at a certain age,
or maybe she had thyroid issues.
(26:46):
But because she didn't know that thoseunderlying causes were there, she didn't
know to look for them or fix them.
So I'd say don't assume that because youhave hair loss and say your mother or
other female relatives had hair loss, thatit's a done deal for you.
There's nothing you can do.
You won't know if you don't look.
You won't know that you don't have some ofthese other underlying causes if you don't
(27:08):
look.
But I'd have to say female hair loss isreally a complex issue.
There's so much more I could tell youabout triggers and underlying causes.
So I'd suggest that if you can, maybe gethold of a copy of my book because I do go
into triggers and underlying causes in ahuge way in my book.
(27:28):
But nonetheless, this is enough to sendyou down the direction of where to look
and make a doctor's appointment and startoff with a blood test.
That's the first place I always suggestyou look.
Of course, as in all these episodes, theadvice given is of a general nature.
Please check with your doctor for your ownspecific health advice.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed this episodetoday.
(27:49):
It's been very interesting listening toBridget tell her story.
And I hope that you get something out ofour little, did you know segment on
triggers and underlying causes.
And as I always like to say, kindness isbeautiful.
So wear it every day.
Thanks for joining me on the Hair Loss inWomen podcast.
(28:12):
And a big thank you to the women who sharetheir stories here and with others in
their community.
One of the hardest things about hair lossfor women is that we don't talk about it.
So if you do want to hear more, pleasesubscribe to the podcast.
And if you like what you heard, why notleave a review?
Positive reviews will help other women tofind this podcast too.
(28:35):
You can also find out more in my book.
care loss in women.
This podcast has been recorded in Sydney,Australia and is produced by Pod and Pen
Productions.
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